


Semantically Challenged

by TeamAlphaQ



Series: Semantically Challenged [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Angst probably, Canon Compliant, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Clyde is a good bro, Craig 'my boyfriend will kick your ass' Tucker, Craig Tucker Being An Asshole, Craig is an avid member of the Tweek Tweak Protection Squad, Craig is totally sangry (sad + angry), Did I mention this story is going to be really long?, Drama & Romance, Episode: s03e05 Tweek vs Craig, Excessive Head Patting, F/M, Homophobic Language, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, M/M, Princess Kenny is a devious lil' diva, RIP Craig's Heterosexuality, Slow Build, South Park: The Stick of Truth, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Token can see through Craig's bullshit, Tweek Tweak Being Paranoid, Tweek and Craig are suffering from emotional constipation, Tweek is a smol coffee bean, Until it isn't, Venti bean protect tall bean, so many misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-02-03 02:30:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 111
Words: 464,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12739188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamAlphaQ/pseuds/TeamAlphaQ
Summary: Growing up is hard, no matter which way you look at it. Tweek's got his demons and Craig has his monsters, which of them wear human skin and which don't is irrelevant. They never asked for a solution, all either of them wanted was a friend.Somewhere along the way through, it became less about just fighting the past and more about untangling the future. Neither of them knows how they got to where they are now, but when you think back to how it all started, all the forgotten moments and buried emotions, you'll find they really should have seen this coming.Oh boy people, this is gonna be a long one.





	1. That Spaz

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I wanted to, okay? Fuck if I know where I'm going, we'll just have to see.
> 
> I've had a bad run of things. The walls are closing in and the demons just keep getting louder. If I don't shut them up, I'll lose it again.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
>  
> 
> **Updated note**
> 
>  
> 
> I just want to say thank you to everyone. This story would *not* have been possible without you guys, and I hope that by the time we're getting it printed into a book, the community will have only grown. Each one of you are a blessing to me, whether you see this tomorrow, or three years from now. 
> 
> Que~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, I am from the future~
> 
> Wow, old chapter. Long time ago now.
> 
> Anyways, before you start reading, I just want to say that as of literally right now, there is an official discord channel for this story! I know, pretentious, I understand. You haven't read it yet. (oh man, I sound horrible right now.)
> 
> But yeah, if you're interested then maybe you should join the [shitshow](https://discord.gg/eramcuT). Because who doesn't want to talk about these beautiful bois?
> 
> Imma let you go now, future Q AWAAAYYYY~

"ACK, NO! THEY'RE COMING FOR ME!"

_ Thunk. _

It was quite possibly the most common and predictable occurrence in all of South Park. At least, Craig Tucker was convinced it was. Heck, the rest of the class didn't even bother to look up from their paper as a soft moan of terror filled the room. Call it callous, but it was just kind of expected at this point.

Bored with his handout on the Mongols, Craig's eyes wandered to the source of the distressed sounds. They often did, he wasn't very good at pretending, he  _ didn't _ stare at the curious phenomenon that was the town spaz.

Though to be fair, Mr. Garrison wasn't exactly the most riveting of fourth-grade teachers in the world. Who could blame him for trying to find something to keep himself occupied?

"Oh, _Jesus…"_ whimpered the object of Craig's attention. Reaching spindly fingers into his wild mane of blond hair that stuck up in every direction, the boy tugged hard and twitched violently, rattling his desk. "They w-want to harvest my –ngh- brain!" Another hard pull on blond locks, almost like he was trying to rip them out of his head.

The rest of the class kept ignoring the twitchy boy, but Craig just tapped his pencil lightly on the side of the desk and wondered, as he often did, if the boy was going to finally explode. Spontaneously combust even. Token had told him that things like that didn't happen all that often and when they did, it was usually because of too much alcohol in the blood but who knew, maybe caffeine was flammable as well.

As if on cue, the boy fumbled for his large, heavy silver thermos and attempted to open it with shaking and unsteady hands. It didn't work. With a cry of distress, he fumbled it, dropping it onto the carpet floor. Craig watched its progress and passively noted that luckily for the trembling boy, this time, it was closed. Nearly falling out of his chair, the boy scrambled after it. It took several tries, but finally, he managed to get his hands on it and quickly gulped down several long sips of coffee before clambering back into his seat.

The smell of it filled the small classroom.

Okay, so maybe he would just die of a heart attack, Craig mused, drawing loose concentric circles over his paper. That or just never grow past five foot five. Someone should have really told his parents not to give him so much caffeine, it couldn't possibly be healthy. Besides, maybe if they cut it back, he'd stop twitching all the time. Or maybe he was addicted and withdrawal would make it worse.

In his usual nasally drawl, Mr. Garrison finally decided to continue the lesson, but Craig sort of just tuned him out. The spaz, on the other hand, instantly fixed his attention forward, even though he could hardly sit still in his seat. He was trying, God, Craig was pretty sure he was always trying, but it never lasted.

As if on cue, the boy thunked his head on the table again and screeched. The teacher didn't even pause. _He's going to leave a bruise there eventually…_ Craig thought, rolling his eyes. The boy had pale skin after all, the kind that showed bruises easily and took a while to heal. Was it any wonder then that his arms and legs were always covered in black and blue marks? Still mumbling to himself, something about flesh-eating aliens, the blond scribbled something down on his paper while tugging at his hair with his free hand. Dispassionately, Craig wondered how much hair the boy had if he could just indiscriminately tear it out.

"Craig? Craig!" Jolting out of whatever world he'd been lost in, Craig quickly swiveled his head to face a distinctly, displeased teacher. "I’ve asked you this question twice already and you keep ignoring me. Get your head out of the clouds!"

Craig didn't bother responding to that admonishment, it wasn't as if he had a good reason and he couldn't think of a good excuse instead. Besides, it wasn't as if Mr. Garrison didn't know who he'd been staring at. _As if I don't end up staring at him every single day…_ And he couldn't say that either because he knew the kind of shit he'd get for it if he did.

With an irritated sigh, Mr. Garrison said, "One more time Craig, who was the most well-known leader of the Mongols during this time?"

Craig didn't know, and definitely didn't care, so he just flipped the man off. Call it an instinctive reaction if you will. Several other kids snickered, just like they usually did.

"Craig Tucker, did you just flip me off?!" Mr. Garrison demanded.

"No," Craig said instantly, staring straight at the man with a perfectly blank expression. Actually, it could be said to be his only expression.

"Hmph," the man grumbled in response. It wasn’t like Craig’s habits were anything new to the teacher. "Can somebody else answer the question instead?" Predictably, three hands shot up. Kyle's, Wendy's and Token's.

Craig on the other hand, tuned out the rest of the world once more and looked back at the twitching boy across the room. He found that the boy was already staring at him, still shivering, twitching, and watching him with big eyes. Not bothering to react, Craig just stared right back, his gaze cool.

The spaz had perpetually wide eyes, with large dark circles always attempting to swallow them. He probably didn't sleep, Craig couldn't imagine someone who drank that much coffee would have a normal sleep schedule. He always did one of two things with those big eyes; stare, or constantly dart them about like he was afraid of something. Right now, they were focused, other than the intermittent, twitchy blink.

But what Craig always found the time to notice were the color of those lamp-like eyes. Bright green, just like the improperly buttoned shirts he always wore. They were full of life, those eyes. Craig wasn't one to wax poetic, but he couldn't help it when those eyes met his own. In the end, they were even more captivating than the rest of the blond.

Shrieking suddenly, as if something had startled him, the boy jerked around so he was no longer looking at Craig. As the bell finally rung, Craig waited in his seat so he could watch the boy hastily and with much panic shove everything into his bag before scurrying away, still carrying that damn thermos. It was only after he'd left that Craig finally bothered to get to his feet and put his own things away.

Thus concluded another morning spent staring at Tweek Tweak.

_ Fuck… _

))))-((((

"Craig, I'm not trying to accuse you of anything," Token Black tried to reassure Craig who had abandoned his typically bland expression in favor of glaring at him from the couch, both middle fingers standing proud. "But look at it from someone else’s perspective. It’s a little weird, don’t you agree?"

"Fuck off," Craig muttered, frustrated with yet another attempt at telling him who he should and shouldn't look at. "Doesn't everyone stare at him sometimes?"

"Not as much as you do, dude," Clyde Donovan pointed out, grabbing for another handful of chips while staring entranced at the video game he was playing. When Craig punched him in the arm, the boy's attention flew towards him as his mouth opened in protest. "TOKEN, CRAIG PUNCHED ME!" he instantly wailed, to which Token rolled his eyes.

"Craig, we're not being unreasonable. The rest of our class doesn’t feel the need to stare at Tweek all day, no matter how weird he is. Most kids just sort of ignore him," the black boy insisted in his ever-reasonable voice. "It’s like you’re obsessed."

"I'm not fucking obsessed with Tweek, he's a fucking spaz," Craig spat.

This was a common conversation between him and his friends. They of course, noticed his habit of watching Tweek during class and had been understandably curious. It didn't help that Craig kept bringing him up for various reasons.

It didn't seem like something that would really matter, don't all people sometimes bring up their classmates? Goodness knew that Token and Clyde complained about Cartman and his friends enough to border on irritating. But you see, that was the thing. That was them.

This was Craig and Craig wasn't supposed to give a fuck about anything.

Largely, he didn't. His emotions pretty much consisted of anger, and apathy, with a good dollop of hate in between. Craig Tucker was generally a rather blank kind of person. Perpetually bored, if you will. It was uncomplicated, and it worked.

He hated almost everything: the morning, school, his parents, his annoying sister Ruby, and the other kids at school. He hated homework and he hated missing Red Racer, his favorite show. He definitely hated South Park with all of its insanity he had to live through. It wasn't an active hatred really, it was more of a passive dislike, but he called it hate because that was easier and he also kind of hated talking excessively.

But that didn't mean that he wasted energy thinking about any of it. This was where the apathy came into play. He disliked things but didn't bother to do anything about it most of the time. Honestly, he just didn't care and very little could make him do so. If someone managed to piss him off enough, he'd fight them, but that wasn't caring.

Okay, he did care about a few things. He cared about his Guinea pigs and he had a passing affection for Red Racer, but that was about it. There were things that he would prefer to have around or do, but he didn't actively  _ care.  _ The only time he ever cared about what was going on around him was when Stan's crew managed to loop him into some crazy, harebrained scheme that interrupted his day. Then he cared, but mostly, he was just annoyed.

He just didn't like most people.

Token Black and Clyde Donovan were actually pretty alright people if Craig was being charitable. They'd been his friends for as long as he could remember, only God knew why. Sure, Token was rich as fuck and could be overbearing at times and Clyde was a whiny bitch more often than not but they were okay. Clyde watched Red Racer with him and Token always had new video games for them all to play and in return, Craig tried not to flip them off quite as often. They all sort of got along.

At least they weren't like Stan, Cartman, or Kyle, who couldn't seem to go one day without doing something that ended in some sort of global catastrophe. Token and Clyde were pretty average, even-keeled, and normal.

Apart from that, there was nothing for him to be interested in.

Except things have  _ changed,  _ as Token and Clyde were quick to notice.

Maybe that was inaccurate. To be fair, he hadn't really changed as much as everyone would have liked to believe. You see, Craig was big on knowing where everything in his life fell. He had always had nice boxes where he can put most things in his life. He had one for things he hated which shared space with the one for things that pissed him off, and one for things he didn't care about, and a small subset for his friends and the other things he tolerated. That was how he operated, that was how he kept his life simple.

He was a creature of habit, after all.

But like every rule there ended up being an exception. Of all the things in his world that he'd managed to settle into boxes labeled 'hate' and 'don't care', there was one thing that didn't quite fit in Craig's mind. One anomaly that he didn't exactly know what to make of.

That outlier had a name, a name that everyone in the whole goddamn town probably knew at this point, crazy fucker that he was. That name was Tweek Tweak.

_ Tweek motherfucking Tweak. _

And because Craig couldn't seem to stop fucking  _ staring _ at the boy, his friends only kept getting progressively more obnoxious about it.

"Dude, just cause he's a spaz doesn't mean you have to stare at him constantly," Clyde insisted, despite having been punched the last time he opened his mouth. He was probably just used to Craig's way of handling things with violence. "I mean, did you hear Cartman today?"

Craig grit his teeth together at the thought. He should have just punched the fatass while he had the chance instead of doing as he'd done by ignoring it all entirely. It would have been totally justified, after all, Cartman always deserved to get punched in the face anyway.

"I'm not fucking _checking Tweek out,"_ he pushed out through a jaw that had locked up. Forcing his face to return to neutral instead of blank yet murderous, Craig snatched the controller from Clyde and tried to direct his energy towards the video game instead of his friends. "Cartman is full of shit, I've never even spoken to that spaz before."

Token's eye roll was practically audible. "And yet you talk about him all the time. Craig, if I could draw, I'd probably be able to draw Tweek without even looking at him just based on how much description you've given me. I'm telling you, either talk to him or stop staring. It's _weird."_

"Do I look like I give a fuck?" Craig muttered in his usual monotone, not fighting Clyde when he grabbed the controller back. "Maybe if the spaz would stop _twitching_ all the time, I wouldn't stare at him so much."

"Maybe if you didn't stare at him so much," Token suggested in an equally flat voice. "You wouldn't notice him twitching."

Flipping the boy off again and flipping off Clyde for good measure, Craig tugged his old chullo down over his forehead and fell silent, content to stew. To be perfectly honest, he didn’t care about Tweek's twitching, in fact, he couldn’t possibly care less. Even the shrieking and headbanging didn't annoy him. If anyone else did it, he'd flip them off at least and he might've even gotten annoyed.

But it was Tweek.

_ Fuuuuuuuuccckkkk... _

To be perfectly honest, Craig could watch for hours as the boy buried his fingers deep into his wild, blond mane tugging hard enough to pull it out while he shook and twitched in his seat, screaming about how the CIA was after him. On occasion, he'd suddenly leap up in the middle of class and dash out of the room without warning. Sometimes, he'd simply gulp down his coffee while his eyes darted about the room, looking for the aliens he was sure were there.

Tweek never failed to do something unusual, so why was it so hard to believe that Craig, who had never given enough of a fuck about someone previously would actively watch them, bring them up in conversation, or to pay attention to them.

And that right there was the problem, wasn't it?

Clyde snickered. "Craig," he said, grinning. "You look constipated right now."

Without care for the bowl of chips between them or the video game, Craig leaped over the gap between them and tackled Clyde, wrestling him off of the couch with a cry of, "I swear to God Clyde-!" Token yelled at them both, Craig tried his best to grind his friend's face into the carpet, the subject of Tweek was finally forgotten.

Craig for one, could not complain a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I get it, I don't know the cannon, I don't know what I'm doing, yadda yadda. Fuck, I'm in a bad mood.
> 
> Complain if you want, say nice things if you want, I like it when you talk to me darlings. It makes me feel a little more human and a little less dead.


	2. That Asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... Okay, that was unexpected. I thought I'd get like five views, tops. Maybe one like if I was lucky.
> 
> What even are you people? MAGIC!?
> 
> But seriously, I'm shutting up now, I just hope that this chapter lives up to expectations.
> 
> Enjoy.

_He_  was staring again.

Tweek could feel his eyes boring into the back of his head, probably burning a hole through his crazy blond hair. Those icy blue eyes, shooting lasers into his brain, probably killing him slowly, just for fun. Just like always,  _always._  He was always staring and it was always terrifying.

Staring down at his paper, which swam in his vision, Tweek tried to just ignore the boy behind him. He could  _hear_  him thinking, thoughts of killing him probably, leaving him in a ditch to rot where the maggots would eat him and no one would ever know he'd died. Tugging at his hair, Tweek tried to push the thoughts from his brain, but they just kept getting louder.

From behind him, Wendy sneezed and Tweek leaped half a mile and let out an involuntary wail. The worst part was, the eyes boring into him still hadn't moved.  _Don't make eye-contact, don't turn around. He'll kill you if you look into his eyes, he'll probably kill you anyway._  No, that wasn't true, was it? The Noirette hadn't even spoken to him, there was no way that Tweek could have pissed him off, right?

But then why was he always staring?!

Teeth knocking together, Tweek reached for his pencil before realization dawned on him. The boy had only started noticing him this year, right? He'd never so much as glanced his way before. That must mean that something had happened over the summer.

 _Oh Jesus, what if he was kidnapped by the aliens and now this is just a clone in his place? OH GOD, WHAT IF IT'S ONE OF THEM?_ Tossing his head around, Tweek looked at all the other kids around him and felt a large stab of panic. What if they'd all been replaced by aliens and he was the only human left? What if he was next?!

Aloud, he shrieked, "ACK, NO! THEY'RE COMING FOR ME!"  _SHIT, NOW THEY KNOW I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE!_ With a great thunk, Tweek banged his head on his desk.  _WHY AREN'T THEY ATTACKING ME? I bet he's their leader, they're waiting for his signal. What does he want from me, what does that clone want from me?_

Tweek couldn't even begin to stop the terrified moan that escaped his lips at the thoughts that crowded his mind of what they'd want to do to him. It could be anything, what could he possibly have that they didn't have?  _Oh god, they're going to replace me too, but they need my brain so the clone can act like me!_

"Oh, Jesus…" he whimpered, tangling his hands in his hair and pulling down hard, trying to pull the terrifying images out by force and they threatened to overwhelm him. "They w-want to harvest my –ngh- brain!" His desk shook and rattled as he twitched against it, desperately trying to calm himself down. All he could do was pull his hair harder and let his thoughts rattle against his skull.

Then a soft tapping filtered through his panic, the light pattern of a pencil against the side of a desk.  _His_  pencil, Tweek knew beyond a shadow of a doubt. Held in those large calloused hands that knew how to cause pain too easily. The sound snapped him out of his fear, jerking him back into the present abruptly.

No, they weren't aliens, the boy behind him  _wasn't_  an alien, he told himself, even though he twitched violently at the remaining thoughts of brain-controlling extra-terrestrials. The Noirette would be more dangerous as a human than as an alien anyway. Besides, if it had been a plan to clone everyone, they would have gotten Tweek first, he was the weakest target.

Trying to keep from hyperventilating again, Tweek reached quickly for his thermos, desperate for the coffee it contained. He knew he shouldn't drink so much but he also knew that he wouldn't survive otherwise. Besides, it was the only thing that had a chance of keeping him calm.

Except that the moment his hands managed to close around the warm metal, a chill ran down his spine like a million ants marching down his skin. It was the fault of those  _damn EYES!_ Hands trembling harder than before, Tweek swallowed hard as he tried to fumble the top of his thermos open.  _STOP STARING AT ME!_  He wanted to scream it but who knew what would happen then, what if the boy killed him?

His fingers slipped at Tweek was powerless to stop his thermos from tumbling to the floor. Catching sight of that ratty blue Chullo out of the corner of his eyes, Tweek fell out of his chair in an attempt to get out of range of those terrifying and entrancing eyes. If he looked into them, he wouldn't be able to look away.

Pushing his mind back to getting some coffee, Tweek grabbed for his thermos. It slipped out of his shaking fingers several times, but at last, he managed to paw it open. As the rich, dark liquid slipped down his throat, Tweek finally managed to calm down enough to breathe normally.  _I'm fine, it's fine._  Realizing he was still on the floor, Tweek scrambled back into his chair.

Luckily, no one else had even paid attention to his episode. Except for  _him,_  but he always paid attention.  _God, he thinks I'm stupid._  Who didn't think he was stupid? Maybe the boy was just watching him for entertainment purposes?

Mr. Garrison opened his mouth and started talking, forcing Tweek to listen. Except he couldn't even hear what the man was saying, no matter how hard he tried to focus. All he could hear was his own rapidly increasing heartbeat and the (probably) imagined sound of the boy breathing. But it didn't even matter because Tweek could just  _hear_  that slightly nasally, yet unusually deep voice rocketing about in his head and  _oh, GOD MAKE IT STOP!_

With a shriek of utter frustration, Tweek banged his head on the desk again. No one even said a word about it. At least now he could hear the teacher, however boring and irritating the words coming out of his mouth were. Those eyes were still on him, but Tweek tried to console himself by muttering, "Come on, at least he's not a flesh-eating alien. He's just… Just…"  _Worse, infinitely worse._

Jotting down the dates Mr. Garrison had just written on the board, Tweek braced himself as the man chose that moment to ask a question. "Now at this time the Mongols were gaining quite a lot of momentum and the leader at the time is still well known today. Craig, who was the leader of the Mongol hoards at this time?"

Tugging on his hair, Tweek waited for the boy behind him to answer.  _Why isn't he saying anything, what's going on?_  He was still staring at Tweek so why wasn't he listening to what Mr. Garrison was saying. What if he got pissed and sent the Noirette to the principles again? Didn't he care at all?

"Craig, I asked you a question, I don't like it when you ignore me. Who was the leader at this time?" Oh god, it was stressing him out, like majorly stressing him out.  _JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION, OH GOD, IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_  "Craig? Craig!"

Just as Tweek snapped around so he could stare at the terrifying boy behind him, the boy turned to face the teacher. And it was at this moment that Tweek once again forgot how to breathe.

It was why he never looked at him, never dared to make eye contact. Every time it happened he could feel himself freezing up and if freaked him out because he didn't have any clue why it happened. But he still couldn't look away.

Craig Tucker, in all his terrifying presence, was staring at the teacher impassively with that eternally blank expression. He was so tall for a fourth grader, Tweek felt intimidated even from across the classroom. With that blue hoodie and blue hat that hid his raven hair, Craig could have almost passed himself off as innocuous but he was anything but. Tweek  _knew_  this beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Ever since they were young, Tweek had stayed out of the boy's way. He was scared of quite a few people at school but there were two in particular that were at the top of that list. The first was Eric Cartman, for obvious reasons. The second was Craig Tucker and god, Tweek was probably more scared of the Noirette than he'd ever be of Cartman.

He always looked so blank, Tweek couldn't read him. The only emotion he showed was anger, powerful and sudden. Stronger than what Tweek would probably be able to face head-on. If one day that blank stare turned to a glare, Tweek was sure he'd die, right on the spot. It was too horrifying to even think about.

Whatever Mr. Garrison had said, Craig simply stared at him for a moment more before flipping the teacher off. Tweek would have died before he did something like that, the pressure was just too much for him to deal with. He'd get sent to the principles and his parents would lock him in his room and he'd run out of coffee and the underpants gnomes would come for him and then he'd be killed!

But Craig wasn't worried, even when the teacher demanded, "Craig Tucker, did you just flip me off?!"

"No," Craig answered back, straight-faced. How he could do that was a mystery to Tweek, just like everything else about the terrifying boy. When the teacher only huffed and asked the rest of the class the question, Craig's eyes drifted.

Before he could even begin to look away, Tweek found himself caught in that powerful and hypnotic stare.  _SHIT! Oh, Jesus FUCK!_  He couldn't move, he could only twitch and maintain eye-contact with Craig.

Tweek was sure he was sweating, he had to be, but he couldn't look away. There was something about Craig that demanded his attention, even when there were a million other things for him to be paying attention to. Craig just had that kind of presence, silent but intimidating. Monstrous.

But he didn't look monstrous right now, he just looked passive, calm. Like he was simply trying to figure Tweek out. Except Tweek didn't want to be figured out by someone like Craig, he didn't want Craig to see all the monsters inside his head, he didn't want Craig to know how pathetic he was and try to stamp him out like the bug he was.

Unable to handle it a moment longer, Tweek screeched and jerked back around, finally free of the magnetic pull of Craig Tucker.  _He's going to kill me someday, this is going to be my death!_ Thankfully, the bell rung at that moment. Scrambling desperately to gather all his stuff up while the kids around him pushed and shoved to get to the door and out to lunch, Tweek avoided looking at Craig as he ran out of the classroom.

But he could still feel those eyes on him, and it terrified him.

Pushing out into the hall, Tweek tried to keep a firm grip on his thermos as he was shoved to and fro by the crush of people around him. He felt horribly claustrophobic but there was nothing he could do about it but ride out the wave and try not to freak out any more than he already was.

The moment he'd reached his locker, Tweek had to enter the combination several times before he finally managed to control his shaking enough to get the code right.

This would mark another day that Tweek had survived being watched almost constantly by Craig. If he had to deal with much more of this, he was going to crack, split right down the middle. Could that happen if you got super stressed? Could you literally break into pieces? With a sound of fear, Tweek stumbled back away from his locker and tugged on his hair in terror.  _Oh man, I'm definitely going to die now._

"Out of my way, fag!" Suddenly, Tweek found his head connecting with the cold metal of the lockers as Cartman pushed him aside, slamming him into the unforgiving surface. Pinned down by his own backpack, Tweek could do nothing but lay there, trapped under the weight of his failures as Eric walked away, laughing.

For a moment he just lay there, wondering if this was really going to be the rest of his life in South Park. Then he remembered how many different types of germs he could pick up from the school floor and Tweek scrambled upright, screaming as he did so, "AUGH, I'M GONNA GET AIDS!"

Yup, just another day at South Park Elementary…

))))-((((

"Hey, wait up Tweekers!" At the sound of that excited voice, Tweek stopped his shuffle to where the bus had just parked and groaned under his breath, even as he twitched.  _Why god, what the hell did I do?_

As Kenny McCormick drew level with him, Tweek looked over at the happy, laid back boy. He was probably Tweek's antithesis in every sense of the word, and yet here he was yet again, wanting to talk to him. "Sucks that Cartman shoved you into the lockers again," he commented, ambling along beside Tweek. Reaching over to poke at the bruise that had blossomed on the side of his face, Kenny added, "He's a jackass alright."

Swatting Kenny's hand away with a yell, Tweek stumbled and almost fell. "W-what do you want?"

"Come now," Kenny all but purred, his lashes lowered. "Can't I talk to my bestest buddy Tweek sometimes?" He threw an arm around Tweek's shoulder, much to the shorter blond's displeasure. "What's so wrong with that, huh?"

"JUST T-TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!" Tweek insisted, tugging at his hair in distress. He absolutely hated it when people touched him without permission, but Kenny had never listened, not once.

"Aww, I just wanted to ask how things were going between you and Craig," Kenny said simply, a wide smirk on his face.

At the words, Tweek all but stopped breathing again.  _WHAT THE FUCK!?_  "THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON B-BETWEEN US, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU T-THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" He was freaking out, he was so not okay with this. Craig? What on earth would he have going on with someone like that? Why would he even  _talk_  to the boy? He'd rather eat food off the floor than risk talking to Craig Tucker.

"Tweeky~" the sandy blond crooned, giving him a sly look. He wiggled a finger in Tweek's face, causing the still panicking boy to lean back in fright. "Don't think I can't see the way he stares at you and you at him. You can't hide from me."

"Gha! L-leave me alone Kenny!" Tweek yelped once more, trying to push the boy's arm off of him. Kenny was the only person who ever talked to Tweek, but sometimes, he couldn't help but wish the boy wouldn't bother. "H-HE'S JUST PLANNING TO KILL ME!"

Waving a gloved finger, Kenny tsked reproachfully. "Now now Tweeky, you know that our darling Craig wouldn't hurt a hair on your head." Feeling yet more panic rising up at the thought of interacting with Craig in such a way, Tweek shrieked and dropped his thermos.

"STOP! I've never even t-talked to him, he h-hates me! I JUST WANT HIM TO STOP STARING AT ME!" Scrambling to pick up the shiny silver container, Tweek fought the oppressive cheer of the boy beside him. "Just go away already!"

Kenny pouted but pulled up the hood of his ancient orange Parka regardless. "So cruel to me Tweekers, it's so mean." Shrugging, he hummed. "You're probably right though, Craig would tear you apart like a tender bit of meat at the hands of a hungry bear." Flashing a grin at Tweek's horrified expression, Kenny all but cackled. "What's with that face?"

"T-t-tear me apart?" Tweek squeaked pathetically, twitching more violently at the thought. "OH GOD HE DOES WANT TO KILL ME!"

Patting his back, Kenny just laughed. "Oh, you two are better than television." Waving, Kenny broke away from Tweek so he could walk towards Cartman and the rest of his gang. "Keep being clueless Tweeky, you're adorable." And with that, the frustrating boy was gone.

Frustrated and stressed, Tweek pawed at his thermos lid and tried to take a sip only to find the thing entirely empty. Letting out a scream, Tweek shook violently and almost dropped his bag. He needed more caffeine, and he needed to get away from this horrible town before it drove him entirely insane.  _Not that I'm not already crazy enough._  But this town, this godforsaken town with its crazy people and crazy happenings, it was enough to drive even the sanest person to the edge.

But maybe Tweek was so crazy, all the crazy around him just bounced off…

Absently letting his eyes wander, Tweek watched the boy in the orange parka talk to Stan and Kyle and felt another knot of frustration well up inside him. "F-fuck you, Kenny," Tweek mumbled under his breath, shouldering his backpack more firmly and resisting the urge to tug on his hair. Sometimes, he just wanted the world to leave him alone.

_Just like I want Craig to leave me alone…_

For good measure, he muttered, "And fuck you too Craig."

Feeling marginally better, Tweek continued his trek home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I probably screwed Tweek up entirely, but I tried, alright. I like his character.
> 
> Whatever, I really do hope you guys enjoyed this. I'm feeling overcome with how amazing y'all are.
> 
> *floats off in a cloud of joy*


	3. Who's Bader, Who's Bruised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this even real life?
> 
> You people are being too kind to me, I swear, I haven't had a story do this well so quickly, well, ever. I do hope I can meet your expectations.
> 
> Enjoy.

“This is shop class.”

Otherwise known as the most irritating class they’d take all year. Craig would have rather been _anywhere_ but here. Okay, maybe that wasn’t strictly true, at least it wasn’t home economics. That would have sucked. But it didn’t really matter, he was still bored, and the class had literally just started. _Just another day in hell, really._ To be honest, he existed in a perpetually bored state and this wasn’t making it any better.

“My name is Mr. Adler.” The teacher was a heavyset man with quivering jowls and a scowl on his face. He definitely looked like he belonged in a shop class, right down to the band-aid stretched over his balding head. His voice was irritating to say the least, not that Craig bothered to get actively annoyed. That sounded like too much effort to expend on something like this. He just let his eyes wander slowly as the man kept talking.

“For the next week, rather than your normal schoolwork, you’ll be learning how to make things.” As if Craig really _wanted_ to build something. But what did anyone care about that? Nope, this was basically a required course, how _fun._ Because putting a bunch of nine and ten-year-olds in a room full of sharp and dangerous objects was a really smart idea.

Beside him, Clyde was listening intently to the teacher. That hardly surprised Craig, at least _he_ wanted to be there. Turning the other direction, the bored boy let his eyes wander over the other people in class with him. _Huh, Kenny’s not here. Probably a good thing._ Craig might have despised the disgustingly flirtatious blond, but he knew that Kenny and dangerous things didn’t really go well together. At least, he was pretty sure they didn’t.

The rest of Cartman’s gang was there however, all lined up as usual. _Total dicks, all of them._ Snorting, Craig overlooked them as his eyes kept moving. There was Token, paying attention just like he always did. Sometimes, Craig couldn’t help but marvel at how focused the black boy could be when all they learned was bullshit, chopped up and mixed in different ways. He even managed to get perfect grades, a fucking miracle.

“Now, does anybody know _why_ you're in shop class?” Mr. Adler asked, his words hardly even registering to Craig. He did, however, catch sight of Stan raising his hand though, which drew his attention for a moment.

“Yes?”

“Because we had to choose between this and home ec and we didn’t wanna be sissies?” The answer was absolutely typical of Stan, who was always worried about his image whether he knew it or not. He’d always been rather vain. Not that Craig really gave much of a shit about him at this moment or ever, no his eyes had finally found the thing he’d been subconsciously looking for.

Someone had put Tweek on an off-balance stool, which didn’t seem like a particularly good idea. He was shivering and twitching as he watched the teacher, his eyes darting and fast. _I wonder when he had coffee last…_ There was a new bruise on the side of his face, an ugly thing that’s shape resembled the lip of one of those useless grates that were on the school lockers. Craig’s lip curled. Either Tweek had fallen… _Or someone shoved him._ It was probably the second one.

People in this school weren’t exactly nice to Tweek, after all.

“Wrong!” That loud proclamation from the teacher forced Craig’s attention back to the man. “You are here because you are America’s future!” _Oh yeah, sure, like anyone believes that._ Craig’s mind strayed back to the bruise on Tweek’s face and he grit his teeth. Okay sure, everyone got shoved around sometimes but Tweek should be different. He had enough problems without people hurting him.

“You may someday be doctors, or lawyers, or scientists,” Mr. Adler was continuing, his mumbling tone serious. Craig just wondered why he gave a fuck over why Tweek was hurt or not. The boy was always fucking bruised; he needed to get over himself. Token was right, it was like he was obsessed. “Most of you, however, will be pumping gas, or cutting sheet metal, and that’s why we have-” His ruler smacked the board. “Shop class.”

Walking away from the board and towards his desk, the teacher continued, “Now let me make one thing crystal clear: I don’t like kids that screw around!” _Well then he’s just going to hate us, isn’t he?_ Craig thought absently. Between Cartman and Stan and Kyle, someone would be dead by the end of this week. That or seriously injured. They did nothing _but_ screw around.

“You screw around in shop class, you can lose a hand or an eye,” Mr. Adler warned, eliciting a squeak from Tweek, who nearly toppled his stool at the idea. Picking up a picture frame, the teacher vaguely said, “I have a- I have… uh, I have a…” At which point, Craig lost interest again.

Leaning over to Clyde, the boy softly muttered, “How long do you think it’s going to take Cartman to screw everything up?”

Snickering softly, Clyde muttered, “I’d give it a day dude. I bet Tweek is going to be the one to lose an eye.” Though Craig’s face didn’t so much as twitch, inside he cringed. After Kenny, Tweek definitely was the next worst one at handling anything dangerous. Too much pressure, probably. That being said, the idea of Tweek managing to seriously hurt himself was disturbing to Craig for reasons he couldn’t even put into thoughts.

“Fuck off dude,” he muttered, straightening quickly and simply glaring at the teacher, who was still lost to his own mind.

“Mr. Adler?” Kyle asked, worried. Finally, Mr. Adler jerked out of his daze and set the picture down.

“Huh?” Looking about the classroom in apparent confusion, the man quickly stuttered, “Oh, uh, I was just saying that I want to know who is the biggest troublemaker in your class?”

Craig almost rolled his eyes. Well, that was an easy question. Cartman clearly was the worst. Even if Craig tended to get in fights, he only did so when provoked. Cartman was an instigator at heart. If something horrible was happening at the school, it was usually the fatass’s fault. Craig was about to say as much when Stan spoke up.

Pointing to his right, he announced, “Tweek is!” Craig blinked. _Wait, what?_

Tweek leaped and almost toppled off his stool again. “ACK!” he screeched, trembling under the attention of the teacher. “No, I’m not!” Which Craig wholeheartedly agreed with. Tweek wasn’t a bad kid, and if he was then what did that make Craig, who’d sent several students to the nurse’s office just this year? Really, Tweek should have just ignored Stan’s claim, it’s what Craig would have done, but this was Tweek and he currently looked absolutely panicked, as if the thought of causing trouble terrified him.

Kyle, however, didn’t seem to care that Tweek was growing progressively more stressed, he just shot back, “Yeah you are! You always get into trouble.”

“AUGH!” Tweek screeched, yanking on his hair hard. _The only thing he ever hurts is himself,_ Craig thought, watching as the blond jerked and rocked on his stool. _He wouldn’t even slap another person, much less cause trouble on purpose. Can you even get him mad?_ Absently, Craig wondered what that would look like.

It would probably be kind of like a kitten, pretending to be a lion. The blond was just so harmless looking, Craig couldn’t picture himself taking Tweek seriously, even if they were in a fight. _Wait, what? Who said I was going to fight Tweek? Why am I even thinking about this?_   Not that he particularly cared, Token and Clyde were full of shit, he could think about whomever he wanted, and it didn’t matter to him what anyone else thought about it.

And if it was someone as interesting as the blond, who was now tossing his head around as if in search of his thermos that wasn’t there, then Craig felt justified.

“Oh, _hello,”_ Cartman drawled in his irritating voice that had always grated on Craig’s nerves. “Excuse me, but Craig is the biggest troublemaker in our class.” _Fucking really?_ Craig shot a glare at the boy, who entirely ignored him. Talk about calling the kettle black. He really didn’t want to have to deal with this, why should the teacher even care at all? What did he think Craig was going to do, put someone through the table saw?

_At least they’re not stressing Tweek out anymore._

“That true, Craig?” Mr. Adler asked anyway, his already beady eyes narrowing suspiciously. “You a troublemaker?”

“No,” Craig answered, voice flat. As if he’d have literally any other answer.

“Well, you better not be,” the teacher huffed, his jowls quivering with righteous purpose. _God, what an insufferable idiot,_ Craig thought, tuning him out. For good measure, he flipped the man off. Of course, Mr. Adler noticed, not that Craig cared. “Hey! Did you just flip me off?!” he demanded loudly.

Hiding his hand beneath the table, Craig passively answered, “No.”

“Yes, you did!” Mr. Adler protested. Clearly, he didn’t know how Craig operated yet. Well, he’d figure it out eventually. Most teachers did.

“Told ya!” Cartman informed his friends, just annoying Craig further. _God, I want to hit him. Wouldn’t be the first time._ But that sounded like too much effort, so instead the Noirette just turned back to Tweek.

The spaz was already staring at him, eyes wide and mouth opened in fear. _What now?_ Usually, Craig didn’t give a shit what people thought of him, but the way Tweek looked at him like he was a monster, it made the tall boy feel uncomfortable. He wasn’t a monster, not really. He knew what real monsters looked like. He lived with one of them after all.

Craig wasn’t like that, he wasn’t evil. Except Tweek was making him feel an awful lot like he was. Uncharacteristically, Craig’s mouth turned down in a frown as Tweek’s fingers twitched upwards towards his hair. The moment his expression changed, Tweek actually did fall off of his stool with a shout of fear, hitting the floor with a loud thunk.

“HEY!” Mr. Adler barked. “Stop screwing around! You kids screw around too much.” Which was quite possibly the most useless thing he could have said but then, no one had ever accused a South Park Teacher of actually being intelligent. Craig on the other hand simply looked away, ignoring the knot that had formed in his stomach. Fuck Tweek, he was a spaz who couldn’t even stay seated on a stationary stool. Thinking about him was stupid and feeling guilty that he’d managed to scare him when the boy was probably scared of his own shadow was just idiotic. It didn’t matter.

So he stopped thinking about him and focused on following his classmates as they pushed in their chairs and headed to various parts of the room to _familiarize themselves with the equipment_ while their teacher sobbed over a photograph. This pretty much summed up how shitty the school was in one sentence.

Ignoring Token and Clyde, who’d migrated to one of the band saws, Craig dragged his feet and ended up beside the box of wood scraps. Directly across the room from Tweek, not that he’d done that on purpose. The boy was sitting on the floor, tugging on his hair. Though he couldn’t hear the boy over the sounds of the machine’s surrounding them, Craig knew he was probably moaning in distress.

Really, he needed to stop watching him, it wasn’t okay. But at the same time, he was bored out of his mind and kind of annoyed in general. _Why does everyone have to suck so much?_ He couldn’t help but stare at the bruise on Tweek’s face as he brooded silently. It stood out starkly against his pale skin, and Craig couldn’t help but wonder how many of those other bruises he sometimes caught sight of were caused by someone else and not just the blonde’s own actions.

Suddenly, an image flashed across his mind. One of _him_ knocking Tweek aside, laughing as he went crashing into the floor. Stomach turning, Craig looked down at the box of useless wood scraps and glared at them as if he could set them on fire. Just because he found Tweek interesting did not give his mind any right to torment him about it. It pissed him off, but he had no idea who he was supposed to direct the anger at so he just picked up a piece of wood and stared at it, forcing his expression to go back to being blank.

From across the room, Tweek picked up a belt sander and screamed as it revved menacingly.

“Craig, could I talk to you real quick?” At the sound of that particular voice beside him, Craig’s middle finger reacted before his brain did. Turning away from Tweek, who’d just been accosted by Kyle and Stan of all people, Craig found Eric Cartman next to him, his palms extended placating. “Er, just a second, please, Craig.” Craig didn’t bother reacting, he’d found that sometimes staying silent was more intimidating than speaking. It helped that he was a good five inches taller than Cartman.

Looking mildly perturbed, Cartman continued, in a deceivingly friendly tone, “Craig, I'm not normally one to get involved in this kind of thing-” Craig blinked, conveying just how little he was buying Cartman’s innocent act. “But, well, I was just standing over by Tweek, and, he called you a big poop-eater.”

Well, that was bullshit because Craig had _seen_ Cartman talking to Stan and Kyle not moments before and hadn’t seen him anywhere near the twitchy blond. And even if he had been near Tweek, what would have possessed the blond to say something like that? Nevertheless, he was already pissed off, so he bit out, “He did?”

Looking disturbingly pleased, as if happy Craig had risen to the imagined insult, Cartman nodded wisely and said, “Yeah, he said you eat poop, and that it makes your breath smell like poop, and that, eh, well, you like it.” _No way in fucking hell did Tweek ever say a word of that, right?_ Except that when he looked over at Tweek, he found him watching Craig as if scared about what he and Cartman were talking about.

_Jesus Christ, this is bullshit._

“Why would he say that?” Craig demanded, frustrated that he was even giving Cartman the time of day with this shit. Fuck him and fuck Stan and Kyle for talking to Tweek. Whatever they were saying to him was clearly stressing him out and Craig didn’t like it. It reeked of a stupid, contrived game and he didn’t want to play it.

That being said, Cartman seemed bent on convincing him that Tweek was saying shit behind his back. “I don’t know, Craig, I don’t know.” He sounded properly mystified as if the whole thing confused him. _God, I want to hurt him._ “But now he’s over there, telling everybody that you’re a poop-eater and he chooses you.”

So they wanted him to fight Tweek. That really did piss him off. He had no reason to fight Tweek, nothing but a bunch of stupid insults that the blond hadn’t even said but talking to Cartman wasn’t going to solve any of that. Glaring at the two boys next to Tweek, then at Tweek himself, who jerked and looked horrified.

 _The only way I’m going to figure this stuff out is if I talk to him. Looks like Token’s about to get his wish._ “Well,” Craig muttered, hardly able to disguise his anger. “I’ve got to go over there and-”

Cartman stepped in his way, holding him back. “No, no!” he said quickly, reasonably. “Craig, you can’t fight him here; Mr. Adler would just break it up.” _When the hell did I say I even wanted to fight him?_ Frustrated, Craig stopped trying to get away from Cartman. “Tell you what, I’ll go and tell him you accept his challenge, and set it up for after school today.”

As Cartman spoke, Craig watched Tweek glance between him, Kyle and Stan with wide eyes. _Why is he even talking to those people? I bet they’re telling him I said shit about him._ The worst part was, Craig was pretty damn sure that Tweek was going to believe them. _After all, he already thinks I’m a monster._

Irrationally frustrated with Tweek for never giving him a chance when literally the worst he’d ever done to him was stare at him in class, Craig bit out an, “Okay,” to Cartman and flipped the twitching boy off. Unexpectedly, Tweek glared at him.

Glaring back, Craig waited for the blond to look away but he didn’t, he just looked more pissed off. _Fuck, what did they say to him?_ Strangely enough, though, he almost liked seeing that expression on Tweek’s face. It was so different from his usual fear, it was refreshing. He still didn’t want to fight the boy, but as Stan and Kyle got in his way of seeing Tweek, Craig realized that he did want to talk to him.

Because if Tweek could stand up to him, when most of the rest of the grade would have been terrified at the prospect of fighting him, then maybe there was more to him than Craig had initially imagined.

And though usually, he couldn’t care less about most everything, Craig definitely felt something at that thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, if you hadn't noticed, this is going to be directly from the canon (with my own bits added in). I thought I'd be able to give a bit of perspective on the scenes we already know so well. Don't worry, there will be quite a bit of original material but for now, you're going to get some familiar bullshit XD
> 
> Though I'm sure you're already aware, all of your words make me feel better, really they do. Even if you want to complain, I want to hear from you. It makes me smile.


	4. Geared Up For A Heart Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... Wow. I- Are you guys for real. I just- I'm so happy that you think I'm worth so much praise *blushes* you're too kind.
> 
> I hope I can keep this up, I'm having some fun with this, even though I'm still suffering from pretty bad panic attacks. Which is good, I need a reason to smile.
> 
> Enjoy.

Currently, Tweek was freaking out. As if he did anything else these days.

 _Why would they do that? Why would they say that? Why did he frown at me? OH GOD, IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_  Huddling up against the wall, careful to avoid the outlet in case he managed to electrocute himself, Tweek yanked at his hair. He could physically feel strands being tugged free from his scalp under the strain. It didn't matter, anything to calm himself down.

He hadn't even done anything to Stan or Kyle, why had they called him a troublemaker? Sure he was twitchy and irritating and loud but he tried not to be and besides, he'd never caused trouble for anyone else! It wasn't fair! Now the teacher was going to be watching him and that wasn't even the worst of it. The worst of it was what had happened after that.

Because then they'd decided to pick on Craig.

 _I'm going to die; he's actually going to kill me this time. Why did I have to meet his eyes?_  But okay, when they'd said Craig was the biggest troublemaker, Tweek hadn't been able to help himself. It had just been a quick look, just to see Craig's reaction. Except he hadn't even reacted, he'd just flipped the teacher off as usual then turned to Tweek.

Why did he always have to turn to him? Why did he have to look at Tweek as if Tweek was supposed to do something after what had happened? WHAT HAD HE EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS?!

 _And then he_ frowned _at me, he probably wants to kill me! He's gonna put my head through a saw and I'm going to die!_   _He's going to poke out my eye with a screwdriver and then eat it and then throw me to the monsters under my bed. I'm going to be eaten!_

Letting out a moan of terror, Tweek forced himself not to look up. Everything in him wanted to look up and see what was going on around him but he  _couldn't._  He could just  _feel_  Craig staring at him, probably planning the best way to kill him. What had he ever done? He'd just looked at Craig, was that somehow wrong? It probably was and he just hadn't known it. But he'd caught Craig's eyes before and nothing had happened to him, why did it have to be this time that he displeased the dangerous boy?

Jerking his head up, as if expecting Craig to be hovering over him, Tweek's eyes widened in fear as he saw the Noirette glare menacingly down at the box of wood scraps he stood above.  _Shit! HE'S PLOTTING HOW BEST TO KILL ME!_  Realizing that his only hope was to defend himself, Tweek looked around frantically for something to defend himself with.

 _Like that's going to help, he'll kill me no matter what I do! Even flesh-eating aliens wouldn't be able to beat him!_ Desperately, he grabbed for the dangerous machine beside him and squeezed the grip, not realizing there was a button there. At once it leaped to life, growling at him like some beast from Tartarus.  _OH JESUS, FUCK!_  "ARRH!" He jumped and released the pressure sensitive leaver with shaking hands that threatened to drop the thing altogether.

"Hey, Tweek."

Leaping in the air in shock and fright, Tweek screeched and spun quickly to face the voice. He didn't want to deal with this but it didn't look like he was going to have a choice. Right there, standing before him, were Kyle and Stan, who both wore twin expressions of seriousness.  _SHIT WHAT DID I DO!?_  He didn't like Cartman's gang, even these two. They could be just as bad as Cartman, the only difference being they didn't always know they were being horrible. Twitching hard, Tweek took a step back away from them, wishing they wouldn't have gotten so close.  _Make it stop…_

"Dude," Stan started, raising his eyebrows. "Craig chooses you." At the mention of that particular name, Tweek's eyes flew up to look across the room at Craig. The boy was staring at Cartman, an annoyed look on his face. "He wants to fight," Stan continued, his tone straightforward.

 _WAIT WHAT?!_  Dropping the sander, Tweek let out an involuntary sound of fear and dug his fingers into his hair. "HE DOES?!" No no no, this was too much pressure. Tweek had known that Craig was mad at him for some reason but why the hell did he want to fight? Why not just kill him outright? Why would he drag it out?  _Maybe he wants to publicly humiliate me…_  Tweek thought, fear clutching at his heart.

But wait, when had Stan and Kyle talked to him at all? Tweek had been glancing up at Craig every few seconds when he was sure the boy wasn't watching him and Stan and Kyle had been talking to Cartman a few minutes ago, not Craig. Besides, since when had Craig ever needed an intermediary between himself and whoever he'd decided he needed to fight? Tugging at his hair harder, Tweek whimpered.  _It doesn't make any sense!_

Clueless as to what was running through his head, Stan nodded fervently and said, "Yeah, he's all pissed off at you." Looking up at Craig, Tweek squeaked and released his hair when he found the boy staring at him.  _NO! GOD, WHY?!_  He didn't actually look angry, he just looked mildly annoyed, but it all felt the same in Tweek's mind. Absolutely terrified, Tweek twitched hard. He didn't want to deal with this, he couldn't take it! Why was this even happening?

"So, will you fight?" Stan said suddenly.

So they weren't just warning him, no, they wanted him to fight Craig! Shaking his head, biting his lip to keep from screaming, Tweek squawked, "Why?" He wasn't strong, he wasn't made for fighting. He was just a spaz! If he tried to fight Craig, he'd be killed for sure. If he wasn't going to get killed already and the jury was still out on that one.

Rolling his eyes as if the answer was obvious, Kyle sighed. "Dude," he said, sounding exasperated. "Because you have to stand up for yourself!" Since when had Tweek ever stood up for himself? Who did they think he was? He still had a bruise on the side of his face because Cartman had pushed him into the lockers for Gods sakes! They had been there when it happened! He wasn't the kind of person to fight back, even if it meant getting hurt.

"So, will you fight him?" Kyle asked insistently as if there was something riding on his answer.  _OH GOD, PRESSURE!_  Looking up, he stared at Craig again but this time, the boy was glaring at Cartman, as if he wanted to hurt him. It was almost funny because of how much shorter than Craig Cartman really was.  _Are they sure he's pissed at me? I think he's upset with Cartman, not me._

Tweek almost wanted to smile, but he couldn't quite make his mouth move in that way.

Then, a horrifying thought occurred to him.  _Unless he's talking to Cartman about me? Jesus, what if he's planning with Cartman how best to kill me!_  That would be a nightmare, the two scariest people in the school, plotting to kill him, that was the worst! Except why would Craig want to kill him? Tweek hadn't even spoken to him! "Ngh- H-he doesn't look like he wants to fight me!" Tweek insisted to the other two boys, trying to reason the situation through in his own mind.

Glancing up again at Craig, Tweek saw him attempting to come at him before Cartman held him back.  _Oh god, maybe they're right. Maybe he does want to fight me!_  Then, as if to prove all of it to be true, the Noirette raised his middle finger to Tweek, anger clearly stamped into his features. All of that violence that Tweek had prayed would never be turned on him, now staring at him in the face.

In that moment, Tweek's mind sort of just short-circuited as some switch in his head flipped.

"There. Did you see?" Kyle asked, pointing. "He just flipped you off."

Tweek meanwhile, felt a bubbling sensation in his gut. Here was someone he'd done absolutely nothing to and now they were flipping him off and wanting to fight him. There was something about Craig's glare that filled Tweek with an emotion that he didn't often experience. Anger. No, he wasn't going to shake and hide, if Craig was going to be pissed then he was going to be mad right back. Fuck Craig Tucker, fuck him and his blue eyes and his glossy raven hair and his habit of staring at Tweek. Fuck him!

Face screwing up in anger, Tweek's neck jerked to the side and he growled. "GRH! What a jerk!"  _Did I really just say that about Craig?_  But he was! He was pissed at Tweek and the blond had done nothing to him at all. It wasn't fair. Tweek could handle being bullied; he could take being pushed around and laughed at but to have Craig Tucker, the one person who had never made fun of him, decide that he hated him, that was too much.

And it didn't even matter that he was going to get crushed. The least Tweek could do was not cower in fear. For once, he was going to stick up for himself. He was going to prove to Craig that just because the Noirette thought he was allowed to stare at Tweek all the time and scare him, that didn't mean Tweek was just going to roll over for him.

"He's really got it out for you, dude," Stan commented, whistling at the pissed off expression on Craig's face. Clenching his fists, Tweek shivered and glared back at Craig until Stan and Kyle closed back in around him, blocking off his view of the boy.

No longer able to see Craig's glare, Tweek felt some of that strength leave him, making room for uncertainty. "Why?" he demanded, spreading his arms out in confusion. When Stan and Kyle only looked at each other, Tweek practically begged, "What did I do!?" There had to be something but for the life of him, he couldn't think of it.  _If Craig wants a fight then I'll give it to him!_  But without Craig's anger beating down on him, Tweek felt powerless.

_Oh god, he's going to kill me._

"So," Kyle said conversationally as if they'd been talking about the weather instead of Tweek's untimely demise. "Do you agree to fight him after school?"  _Oh shit, what am I supposed to say?_  He had to make up his mind, but he didn't want to. Craig would kill him, and he didn't even know why the boy wanted to kill him in the first place. He'd tower over Tweek and put his fist through the blonde's face.  _Will anyone even care that I'm dead?_

So his only hope was to fight back, right? "I guess so," he answered, twitching and looking between Kyle and Stan in fear. It wasn't as if he had another way out. If he did, he couldn't see it and that scared him senseless. He didn't want to die, he didn't want to fight Craig.

But something had to give and he wasn't going to let it be him.

"Super!" Stan smiled as if this had been the right answer.  _God, why are they so happy about this!?_  "See you there." And without saying another word to him, they both walked away back to where Cartman was.  _Assholes,_  Tweek thought mutinously, unable to look up now they were gone. If he did, he'd see Craig and he didn't want to make eye contact again. It was just too terrifying to take.

So instead he curled back up against the wall and held his head in his hands as if that would make anything better. It didn't of course; it just increased the pressure in his head. It wasn't his fault, he hadn't done anything. This was all so stupid! What if Craig didn't even want to fight him, what if Cartman had been making things up about him and now Craig thought that Tweek hated him when he really didn't? They wouldn't do that, would they?

Then again, this was Cartman's gang they were talking about. If anyone was going to do something like that, it would be that group. So maybe Craig had the wrong idea and Tweek could reason with him that he'd never done anything to harm him.  _Do you really think you're going to be able to reason with a monster like that?_  God, he'd probably just drop dead from fright at this point. There was nothing that he could do, he was stuck.

For some reason, Tweek felt miserable. He really didn't want to fight Craig. Not just because the boy was terrifying, but because he'd always sort of admired Craig. The Noirette was everything Tweek would never be, calm, collected, uncaring about the world around him. He flipped off teachers in class and did what he wanted, no matter the consequences. He was even attractive!

Tweek was none of those things. He was twitchy and scared and small and helpless. He screamed in the middle of class and banged his head on the table when it all got to be too much. As if that wasn't enough, he was disgusting looking, what with his crazy hair and twitching features and pasty skin. He was worthless, Craig was practically perfect. It wasn't fair!

And yet he'd always thought that maybe someday Craig would stop staring at him and instead talk to him. Because that's what normal people did, right? Craig wasn't a weirdo like him so he'd do the normal thing and talk to Tweek instead of simply stare at him. He'd say hi and Tweek would be scared but Craig wouldn't care because Craig didn't care about anything. Then he'd ask the blond a question and Tweek would answer and then Craig would decide that Tweek was alright because he'd never bullied Tweek so he couldn't possibly hate him, right?

And even though Tweek usually worried that Craig wanted to kill him, deep down he knew that the Noirette probably wouldn't. Or at least, he hadn't wanted to before.

It was all so stupid but Tweek was pretty stupid so that made sense. It wasn't that he was desperate for a friend, but it would be nice to not be all alone all the time, vulnerable to Cartman and his friends, prey for whatever kid wanted to hurt him. Maybe if he had someone like Craig around, then he would be safer.

 _But Craig wants to fight me now and he's going to kill me._  He'd never talk to him, he'd never get to have the opportunity to find out if Craig didn't want to kill him after all, he was going to never get another chance. It was all gone and it was probably Cartman's fault.

Suddenly, the bell rang, startling him out of his fearful wonderings. With a shriek, Tweek leaped to his feet and dashed out of the room, before Mr. Adler could even tell him to stop. He needed to get out of there.  _I have to fight Craig now, I have to fight him._  Fearfully, Tweek stared at the playground and shook his head.  _I don't want this at all._

Yet, even so, he found himself walking forward like a man to the executioner's block. If he was going to die then he might as well get it over with. It made his stomach turn but what else was new. He'd probably be beaten within an inch of his life but what did that matter? It was bound to happen at some point, he couldn't get out of it.

Shivering, Tweek looked around frantically for Cartman and his friends but they were nowhere to be found.  _The teacher probably hasn't even dismissed them yet._  As other kids streamed out of the school, Tweek just watched, wanting to leave but unsure what he was supposed to do. Looking at his feet, Tweek shuffled them. He didn't even know how to fight, what was he supposed to do?

Stand up to Craig and wait for death, that's what.

A hand touched his shoulder.

"AUGH! JESUS!" Leaping backward and spinning around, Tweek almost fainted right there and then. It was him, it was  _Craig._  His brows were furrowed slightly, as if in concentration.  _He's gonna kill me, I'm gonna die._  Shaking, Tweek took another step back, wanting to run but knowing he wouldn't get far.  _Why is he staring at my face like that, what's he thinking?!_

Craig's hand moved and Tweek flinched backward, sure that a strike was following. Strangely enough, it didn't. The boy just pointed at the side of his face, that same look of thoughtfulness on his features. "That bruise," he said softly, in that unusually deep voice that Tweek could never seem to get out of his head. "The lockers, right?"

 _H-he's asking me where I got the bruise?_  Swallowing hard, Tweek forced himself to unfreeze so he could nod shakily. Under Craig's scrutiny, he could feel the mark throb.  _Isn't this the part where he hits me? Why isn't he trying to hurt me?_

"Who pushed you?" Craig asked simply, letting his hand drop. Tweek felt especially small as the boy towered over him, intimidating and tall.  _How does he know I was pushed, he wasn't even there? Did someone tell him? But then wouldn't he know who'd done it? ACK I'M SO CONFUSED!_

But Craig had asked him a question and Tweek didn't dare  _not_  answer. Especially when the Noirette was actually showing an emotion that wasn't anger or apathy. So he forced his uncooperative throat to open so he could speak. Twitching hard to one side, Tweek managed, "C-Cartman." The moment he'd said it, the air around them darkened.

Concentrated expression turning to a scowl, Craig looked away from Tweek. "I'm going home." Flipping Tweek off, the tall boy did just that. He walked away, leaving Tweek all alone to stare after him.  _Fuck, what the hell just happened? Am I dead? Am I still alive?_

No, he was breathing. He'd survived, Tweek had survived. He  _hadn't_  had to fight Craig after all, he was fine. What was more, the boy hadn't seemed angry at him at all. He'd been angry about something, sure, and he'd asked some pretty weird questions, but that didn't matter. Tweek was still alive and that in and of itself was a miracle.

Watching other people start streaming out of the building, Tweek jumped.  _I've got to get out of here!_  If Cartman and his friends saw him, they might make him fight someone anyway. Without anyone around to help him, he'd be screwed. So instead of risking it, Tweek thanked whatever higher power had spared him and scrambled to leave, almost tripping over himself in the process.

Who knew, maybe Craig didn't hate him after all…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, there you go CANON DIVERGENCE! I dunno, I liked it. I hope everyone else did as well.
> 
> If you didn't you can tell me, don't worry, I probably don't bite. I'm too terrified of everyone to do something like that :D


	5. Dazed and Confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting anything yesterday!! I had an eight-hour shift and damnit if those things don't leave you feeling dead.
> 
> I just want to say, you are all beautiful and wonderful and I can hardly believe that you're all being so nice to me. I love it and I'm honored. 
> 
> I hope I can make this story everything you want it to be and more.
> 
> Enjoy.

The moment the bell rang, Tweek was up like a shot.

Craig watched him stumble out of Shop Class, a mix of irritation, anger, and utter confusion churning in his gut. He was supposed to be angry, he knew. That was the whole point, right? Fight Tweek, that's what Cartman and his gang wanted Craig to do. But he didn't actually want to follow through with it.

He'd spent the last part of class just watching Tweek. The boy was clearly terrified, whatever momentary flash of strength Craig had seen in him was totally gone. All he did was twitch and huddle up in the corner, shaking. Craig didn't like it, but then, he didn't like a whole lot of things about the situation. He didn't like that Stan and Kyle had managed to turn Tweek against him before he'd even talked to the blond. He didn't like that Cartman kept looking over at him excitedly as if eager to watch him hurt Tweek.

And he definitely didn't like the bruise on Tweek's cheek that he could still fucking see.

So when the end of class came and Tweek ran as fast as he could, Craig felt… guilty. He was the one who was scaring Tweek, wasn't he? Because those weren't the actions of someone convinced they could win against someone in a physical confrontation. Those were the actions of someone who was scared for their life.

Pushing away from the wall, Craig walked towards the door of the classroom, ignoring the other children, who were still cleaning up from their various projects. He just pushed the door open and slipped out of the classroom. The anger left over in his system still bubbled under his skin, begging for a release, wanting him to hurt something, but he wasn't sure he wanted that thing to be Tweek.  _Damnit, why did this have to happen?_

But maybe, if Craig was lucky, he could somehow avoid the whole thing entirely.  _If I just go home, maybe I won't have to fight him._  Although if Tweek really did want to fight, no matter how little he'd looked like he wanted to, then Craig would fight him. He was still angry after all. If he could avoid it, however, he would.

The moment he got outside, he looked for Tweek. Because if the boy wasn't there, then Craig would just leave and that whole day would just be water under the bridge. Looking out over the kids from the lower grades streaming out around him, Craig searched for a familiar halo of blond hair. For a second, he thought that Tweek wasn't there, that he really had gone home and Craig would be allowed to leave as well.

Then he saw him, standing in the middle of the playground, his eyes turned away from the school. Heart starting to speed up, Craig stared at the boy, a mix of confusion and guilt threatening to show on his face. This wasn't supposed to affect him, things like this never affected him in the slightest. He'd gotten into fights with people for less than what had allegedly happened earlier that day, this shouldn't be any different.

But oh, it was.

Tweek was trembling. Not just his usual twitching but actually shaking. Craig could see that, even as he slowly approached the boy, waiting for him to spin around and turn that fierce glare on him. To strike first and leave Craig no choice but to hit back. But he wasn't, he just stood there twitching, shuffling his feet from side to side. As he got closer, Craig noticed the film of sawdust on Tweek's pants from sitting on the floor of Shop Class and it left a strange taste in the back of his throat.

Close enough to hear the soft sounds escaping involuntarily from Tweek's mouth, Craig forced himself to take a deep, steadying breath. He wanted to speak, but he couldn't think of anything to say. So instead he closed his eyes and schooled his already deadpan expression before reaching out his hand and doing the only thing he could think of. Lightly tapping Tweek on the shoulder.  _This is it, this determines how this afternoon goes._  Except he had a feeling it was about to determine a whole lot more.

The moment his hand met Tweek's shoulder, the boy leaped away from him with a panicked cry of, "AUGH, JESUS!" Big green eyes slowly traveling upwards, Tweek froze as he stared at Craig, a look of utter fear in his eyes. In that moment, a singular image flashed through Craig's mind. An image of Tweek on the ground, his lip bleeding, a bruise forming on his jaw. It was then that he realized  _I'm not going to hit him._

Tweek however, seemed to think otherwise. Twitching, he took a step back, like he wanted to run but couldn't get himself to move fast enough. Caught between guilt and a whole host of other emotions that Craig had never experienced nor wanted to again, the Noirette tried to find something to focus on.

What his eyes found was the bruise on Tweek's cheek.

Tweek flinched suddenly and it was only then that Craig realized he'd lifted his hand to point at the mark. There was no struggle to speak, even though he probably should have thought it through a little harder. "That bruise," he started, his words thoughtful, even though inside he felt like a wreck. "The lockers, right?"

Vaguely, Craig wondered how he'd have been able to fight Tweek if the boy had still been pissed.

Tweek's throat bobbed, his slender, pale neck making the movement all the more evident. Why Craig was paying attention to something like Tweek's neck was beyond him at this point. Slowly, Tweek nodded, confirming the first part of Craig's suspicions. He'd known of course, but he hadn't  _known._

Suddenly, he was struck by a stupid urge to touch that dark purple mark.

Staying silent for a moment more, Craig mulled over his next words carefully as he let his hand drop back to his side, just to prevent himself from doing anything untoward. "Who pushed you?" he asked at last, unwilling to let this opportunity pass. If he was going to obsess about it, he might as well get answers. Even though Tweek was shivering, Craig wasn't above questioning the boy.

Twitching hard to his right, Tweek opened his mouth. Nothing came out at first, then he stammered out one word. "C-Cartman." That was it, no explanation, no excuses, no situation, just a name. A name that made Craig's blood boil.

_That fucking fatass is going to pay for this._  Struggling to contain the fierce anger that had filled him in seconds, Craig allowed a dark look to cross his features before he looked away, not wanting to scare Tweek anymore than he already had. "I'm going home," he told the blond shortly, needing to get out of there before he went back to Shop Class and beat Cartman until he learned not to shove Tweek around.  _Why do I give a shit, I don't even know Tweek, Cartman hurts people all the time._

Then, because he had no idea what else to do, Craig flipped Tweek off and walked away, forcing himself to just focus on what he was doing instead of thinking about the blond behind him.

Because if his thoughts strayed, there was no telling where they would go.

))))-((((

As his favorite TV show, Red Racer played, Craig stared straight ahead mindlessly, trying and failing to just drift. He felt like he was pulled taught, like a piano wire. You wouldn't have been able to tell from looking at him, at the way he slouched on the couch and maintained that bored expression, but it was true enough. Usually, this would be Craig's moment to breathe, but he couldn't right now, he couldn't do anything but run the situation over and over again in his mind.

Cartman wanted him to fight Tweek. Kyle and Stan wanted Tweek to fight him, probably. Cartman had shoved Tweek into the lockers and had probably done similar for years. Craig wanted to do something about it. But he was supposed to be upset with Tweek over something stupid. The cycle repeated, Craig couldn't get away.

Even so, that didn't stop him from imagining giving Cartman what was coming to him. Sure the boy would run crying to a teacher but it would be worth suspension just to give Cartman a taste of his own medicine.  _After all, he hurt Tweek._

Craig still didn't know why that mattered. At this point, he was beginning to resign himself to the fact that he never would find out. Telling himself that Tweek was perfectly capable of helping himself didn't work because Craig knew that was a lie. The blond needed protection, if that was him, then Craig would do it. Of course, by the same token, he couldn't just admit to anyone that he'd spoken to Tweek, especially after promising a fight and then skipping out on it.

So he was stuck.

Besides, it was weird, protecting another guy when they'd literally only had one conversation and it had consisted of few enough words that Craig could probably count them on his fingers. Craig, despite not giving a fuck, didn't really want to deal with the shit that would get thrown at him if he stood up for Tweek when there was no history between the two of them. Did that make him a monster? Maybe.

His thoughts would have continued in this vein if someone hadn't knocked impatiently at the door. Letting out a groan, Craig paused the TV and got up. He didn't want to answer the door, but his parents were goodness knew where and his sister was in her room. That left him to deal with bullshit. Just dandy…

The moment he opened the door, Craig had to resist the urge just to close it again. Right there, on his damn porch, were two of his least favorite people in the whole world, one of whom he was currently contemplating punching in the jaw. Actually, make that both of them. Craig always wanted to hit Kenny.

"Craig," Cartman said in that annoying voice that made Craig want to grit his teeth together. "What the hell are you doing home?!" As if the fatass had any right to tell Craig where to be and where not to be. It was all Craig could do not to lash out at the boy, but he held his tongue and his fist. It was stupid to attack Cartman for something he'd done to someone else, no matter how justified Craig might feel afterward. It wasn't worth it.

"You're  _supposed_  to be out fighting Tweek!"  _Hm, that's nice, what about the fact that I don't want to!_  But he couldn't say that, so he searched for a better answer that would satisfy Cartman.

"Red Racer's on," he said at last, though he was pretty sure he wasn't going to remember a moment of the episode. He just wanted Cartman to go away, him and the stupid blond beside him, who kept staring at him in that  _I know something you don't_  kind of way.

"Craaaiiig," Cartman whined, his voice grating on Craig's ears. "You can watch Red Racer any day of the week!"

"I do watch Red Racer every day of the week," Craig pointed out, his blank expression doing nothing to give away just how pissed he really was.  _Get off my damn porch Cartman,_  he wanted to growl.  _Get out of my face before I_  make _you get out of my face._  While he might not like the idea of hurting Tweek, he had no qualms whatsoever about leaving Cartman black and blue. Hell, he relished the idea.

Which was strange because usually, even when he was beating someone up, he didn't give a fuck. It was just something he did, not something to enjoy or dislike. This marked the first time that the idea of hurting someone else actually gave him any sense of… Well, anything. And he had no idea why, but he wasn't sure he liked it.

Cartman, naturally, couldn't hear a word of his internal dialogue and kept talking. Clasping his hands behind his back, the shorter boy looked at the sky and absently said, "Well, that's fine."  _Praise the lord, I have_ your _approval now._  "I guess you don't care about what Tweek said about your mom…"

The fact that they thought  _this_  was going to get a rise out of him showed how little they knew about him. He honestly couldn't give less of a fuck what anyone said about either of his parents. Deciding that the conversation was over, Craig said, "Nope," and closed the door in Cartman's face.

The moment it was closed, he leaned his head against the old wood and let out a sigh. This whole thing was driving him crazy, his head was a mess and his emotions were too. He was still so  _angry_ but without any good way to let it out, it was just making it worse. And to make matters worse it seemed like everyone wanted him to fight Tweek, which was so  _stupid_  because Cartman was making the whole thing up anyway.

Hell, if he fought Tweek at this point, it would probably out of desperation to get people to stop bothering him.  _It's not like he'd pose much of a challenge anyway._ Unbidden, a memory of Tweek's glare appeared in his mind's eye and Craig's thoughts slowed for a moment. It was so unlike the twitch blond but he wanted to see it again if only to confirm it was real.

That right there, that brief flash of something else, that had been power. That had been the ability to stand up and fight, not hide and cower. After all this time spent staring at Tweek and believing that the boy was scared of everything, Craig had discovered that he was wrong. Tweek might have been scared of a lot of things, but when Craig had glared at him, Tweek hadn't been scared of him.

No, he'd been-

Someone knocked on the door. Gritting his teeth together, Craig pulled it open again to find Cartman and Kenny still standing there, in the exact same positions they'd been in when he'd closed the door in their faces. Looking up at the sky, Cartman said, "Well, I guess you don't care about what Tweek said about your guinea pig."

Frustrated with Cartman's bullshit and ready for the damn charade to be over, Craig gave up on maintaining a shield of calm and just snapped, "What!? What did he say about Stripe?!"  _If I just give Cartman what he wants, he'll leave me alone._ That was fine, Craig could play the game. And what was more, he was going to resist hurting Cartman for the entire duration.

"Oh nothing," Cartman said, continuing his innocent examination of the sky. "Except that you stick it up your ass before you go to bed." Craig would have bet money on the fact that the only person who had ever said something so vulgar about him or his guinea pig was Cartman.

But he was acting, wasn't he? Putting some of that anger to good use, Craig said, with as much vehemence as he could muster, "That son of a bitch, I'll kill him!" Of course, he wouldn't but if it made Cartman go away, then he supposed a little lying was worth it. Even if it made the boy believe that he hated Tweek.  _Besides,_  he thought bitterly.  _If Stan and Kyle are over at Tweek's house, they're probably telling him all sorts of horrible things and Tweek being Tweek, he's going to believe them._

"Yeah," Cartman agreed, nodding sympathetically. "I'd be pissed too. So maybe we should reschedule the fight for tomorrow?"  _I'm not going to get out of this, am I?_  Well, he decided, if Tweek was there and was ready to fight, then he would be too.

"After Red Racer," he specified, deciding that if he was going to make himself miserable, he might as well not miss his favorite show to boot.

Nodding graciously, Cartman agreed, "After Red Racer, of course."

Without waiting for the fatass to say anything else that might cause Craig more grief, the Noirette simply closed the door again in his face. As Cartman's laughter and footsteps faded from earshot, Craig grit his teeth together and spat out a soft, "Fuck," before slowly making his way back to the couch.

If there was no way out of it, then he'd fight, but he sure as hell didn't want to. And he didn't care if that made him a wuss or weak or whatever else the other kids might call him, Craig had never given a fuck before and he wasn't about to start now.

Needing to clear his head, he un-paused the TV and allowed himself to simply drift, not letting himself about Tweek or Cartman or the fight or anything else that was confusing him. As Red Racer drifted through his brain, Craig wondered absently, in that way one did when they were so out of it they'd lost control of their own mind, if Tweek would like the show as well.

But the thought was gone before he could seize upon it.

He stayed like this until dinner time, not even moving to change the channel when his show ended and another one began. Craig just sat there, unable to make himself do much more. He felt drained after that day's events, more than drained really. Craig felt wrung out like a sponge.

So when his mother called him to dinner, it took him a moment to even register that he'd been called. Nevertheless, he finally managed to drag himself off of the couch and too the dining room table, despite all the things swirling about in his mind. Craig Tucker hated being confused, but he'd never felt more confused in his life.

Dinner at his house was always a rather sordid affair. Family dinner was mandatory, but it was obvious that not a single one of them liked it. But Craig's father was all about appearances and that meant sitting down and eating as a family. Sitting at the table with his sister and parents, Craig felt like the silence was forced and oppressive. Generally, he didn't care, he liked not having to say anything. But tonight, he almost felt compelled to speak.

So he did.

"Dad," he said, looking up from his untouched food. "I'm supposed to get in a fight tomorrow." He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but somehow, everyone just continuing to eat as if he hadn't said anything didn't surprise him at all.

Disinterestedly, his father asked, "With who?"

_Only with the one person in this entire goddamn town that elicits an emotion from me that isn't anger._ "Some kid," Craig answered, still staring at his father as if waiting for him to say something enlightening.

"Oh," was all his father had to say.

"Don't just "Oh" him, Thomas!" his mother snapped, glaring at his father.

Frustrated with both of them, Craig snapped, "Yeah, don't just 'Oh' me!" But that was his parents for you, useless unless they wanted to yell at him. Blank slates unless his father was pissed at him, only then did he become something else.

"I'll "Oh" whoever I want!" his dad announced, glaring at his wife, who flipped him off in irritation. He flipped her off in return.  _This is all so stupid, why is this my life._  It pissed him off, but more than that, it made him feel helpless.

From beside Craig, Ruby, his little sister, flipped both of their parents off, though Craig highly doubted she fully comprehended what was going on.  _You don't know how ugly our parents are inside._ Frustrated with all of them, Craig gave up and just flipped them all off in turn.

"Don't you disrespect your mother like that!" Craig's dad snapped, thumping the table with his fist. The whole thing shook, threatening to spill the glasses of water on it.

Unable to hold back his anger, Craig burst, "It's not as if you give a shit anyway!"

Rising from his seat, Craig's father spat, "What the hell did you just say to me?!"

Getting to his feet as well, Craig shouted, "I said you don't give a fuck so why bother pretending!?"

"Get out of my sight!" Thomas Tucker roared, fire dripping from his words. "You're a disgrace!"

"Like you're any better!" Craig shot back before storming from the room, fists clenched, murder on his mind. Trust his dad to be able to entirely push Tweek and all the other bullshit from the day out of his brain.  _I need to get out of here._

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Craig was relieved to find a text from Clyde waiting for him.  ** _[Dude, I'm over at Token's but he's doing homework and being boring. Come save me, Craig!]_**

Making up his mine Craig opened his bedroom door and grabbed for his backpack before shoving some extra clothing into it. Whenever he went over to Token's house this late, he ended up just sleeping over anyway. Slinging it over his shoulder, Craig quickly texted back,  _[Calm the fuck down, I'm on my way.]_  before throwing open his window and catching hold of the drainpipe he usually used to escape from his house.

It wasn't the first time he'd fucked off when his family got to be too much and, as his feet hit the ground and he started off towards his friend's house, it wouldn't be the last. Besides, it wasn't like anyone cared that he was gone.

For the first time since that morning, Craig's mind was blessedly still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, to anyone who was worried that Craig and Tweek wouldn't fight, haha, no, they will.
> 
> I'm mean like that.


	6. Grand Tidings of No Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I have no idea how I'm keeping this schedule up. I've got crazy, this is just filling the void. The demons in my mind won't let me do anything else.
> 
> But I hope you are all liking it so far. I do hope that it's adherence to the canon isn't too annoying. I know you're here for a fanfiction and this is just canon with a few more lines of dialogue but it'll get more interesting later on. Though, I'd say this is doing alright, wouldn't you?
> 
> Enjoy.

_That bruise… The lockers, right?_

_Who pushed you?_

With a groan, Tweek rolled over and covered his ears, twitching as he did so. His brain kept playing the same moments over and over again like a broken record and he didn't get it. Why had Craig been so calm? Why had he gotten so angry? WHY HAD HE ONLY SPOKEN A TOTAL OF SEVEN WORDS BEFORE SAYING HE WAS GOING HOME?! It was too much!

Tweek let out another moan of distress. That wasn't how it was supposed to go, Craig had been about to fight him, right? That's what Stan and Kyle had said. That's what Craig had looked like he wanted to do. But he hadn't, he'd just asked about Tweek's face and then left. The blond couldn't handle it, he needed something more! Was Craig upset he was bruised? Was he mad that Cartman hadn't finished the job? Did he not want to fight because he thought Tweek's injury gave him a disadvantage? WHAT WAS IT?

Tugging on his hair lightly, Tweek muttered aloud, "Why did this have to happen t-to me?" In his moments of calm, he knew that Craig probably didn't want to fight. If he had, he would have punched Tweek then and there. The fact that he hadn't proved that Craig had some other motive besides violence. Tweek just hoped that continued. He didn't want to die, he just wanted to go back to being unnoticed.

People didn't talk to him after all; just Kenny and that had always been a mystery. No one, not even his parents, cared enough to ask where he'd gotten his latest bruises; no one even glanced at him when he acted up. Mostly, Tweek didn't mind, but sometimes the things in his head got so loud, he wanted to beg for someone to drown out the screaming in his own skull.

Except no one had talked to him, Craig had just stared at him impassively day after day, as if that was going to make Tweek feel any better. It scared him because out of all the kids in his class, he'd never expected to get Craig's attention. Craig was friends with people like Clyde and Token. He was friends with the cooler people, people nicer than Cartman's gang. There he'd be, standing above them with that old blue jacket and hat and hands in his pockets, so casual, not giving a fuck about anything.

Craig wasn't supposed to stare at him, he wasn't supposed to speak to him. Rolling over again so he could press his face into the bed, Tweek asked his empty room, "Is this Karma? Did I do something?"  _Other than being a stain on other people's existence, that is. I'm nothing but a spaz, a freak._

So maybe that's what this was, entertainment for the bastards that attended his school. They'd have him fight one of the toughest, most intimidating people in the school and watch because it was amusing. With lies and underhanded tactics, they'd convince Craig to grind Tweek to a bloody pulp that would simply be picked away by the birds.

Or maybe Craig really was in on it, maybe Craig wanted to see Tweek hurt. The boy still didn't have a good explanation for why the Noirette had spent all of this year so far staring at the back of his head. If it wasn't because he wanted to kill Tweek then what could it be? Maybe Craig really had chosen Tweek to fight and the blond had no hope but to roll over and hope it wouldn't hurt too much.

If that was the case, if Craig honestly did want a fight and the other kids weren't just making things up, Tweek was going to fight back for all he was worth.

_But I'm still going to lose. IT'S ALL TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_

Reaching out a shaking hand blindly, Tweek fumbled around for his thermos, which rested on his bedside table. He needed something to help calm him down, if he thought about Craig anymore, his head was going to explode.  _Wait, is that a real thing?!_  With renewed vigor, Tweek scrambled around helplessly for a moment before his fingers closed around the slightly warm metal of what he was looking for.

It was at that moment the doorbell rang.

With a scream and a loud cry of, "SWEET JESUS!" Tweek tumbled off of his bed, cracking his head hard on his bedroom floor.

As his vision cleared and someone calling out his name floated past his ears, Tweek realized he was facing the gap between his bed and the floor and screamed.  _No! The monsters will catch me! They know I've seen their lair now they're going to drag me in and eat me oh GOD!_

Scrambling to his feet quickly and backing up till he'd put a good three yards between himself and his bed, Tweek struggled to take a deep breath while his lungs refused to work.  _What am I doing?_ Okay, okay, the bell had rung. Tweek gulped down a lungful of air. Someone had called his name, he hadn't imaged that, had he?

As if to confirm his suspicions, he heard someone from outside yell, "Tweek?" Making a dash for the window of his room, Tweek pushed one of his toy chests under the sill and struggled to open the window with trembling fingers. It was harder than one might think, and by the time he actually managed to open it, he felt like he was on the brink of a panic attack.  _Who's even here!?_

Thrusting his head out of the window, Tweek caught sight of two unfortunately familiar faces and let out a cry of fear. "ACK! W-What do you guys want?!" It was Kyle and Stan, both looking up at him expectantly as if he'd screwed up.  _WHY ARE THEY HERE!?_  Then he remembered. The fight, the agreement he'd made with them. Then leaving before he actually fought anyone.  _OH GOD, they're probably pissed at me!_

Almost like Stan had read his mind, he called up, "How come you didn't show up for the fight, Tweek?!"  _I was there!_  He wanted to shriek.  _I was there and so was Craig!_  But he couldn't tell them about it, he had no idea what would happen if he did. What if Craig got upset with him? What if the other boys made him fight someone else? He couldn't take the pressure!

So instead he tried his best to be reasonable. "Craig and I have no reason to fight each other!" he squeaked, trembling under their intense gazes. It was true, they didn't. Craig had proved that today when he'd talked to Tweek. Unless Craig really did want to fight, then Tweek didn't have a reason to be upset. The other boys had probably just been making things up, right?

Kyle raised his eyebrows. "Well, Craig showed up." Stan nodded wisely in agreement. Tweek meanwhile let out a whimper.

"He did?"  _But didn't Craig leave before me? Did he go back? Why would he do that? I'm so confused, I thought he didn't want to fight. Wouldn't he have hurt me the first time if he did? Maybe they're making things up... But why would they do this?! IS THIS FUN TO THEM!?_  Tweek tried to make his mind shut up but it kept racing in circles, tearing everything else apart. If Craig had shown up then maybe Tweek had been wrong, maybe the boy really did want to kill him after all.

"Yeah," Stan confirmed gravely, pursing his lips together. "He was standing there waiting for you."  _Oh god, he was? But he knew that I left, why would he purposefully stand around? Doesn't he usually go home after school right away anyway?_  Tweek shifted on his box nervously. "And he was all like, 'Man, Tweek's a wuss,'." He couldn't help but shiver at that because he'd always known that Craig saw him as a bug, this was just proof.

Oblivious to the thoughts racing through Tweek's mind, Stan continued his recounting of what had happened. "And we were all like, 'No he's not, Craig,' and he was all like, 'Yeah he is, he isn't showing up. He's a big wuss, and he has crooked teeth!'."  _Has Craig ever said that many words in a row before, there's no way he actually said that, they have to be making things up._  But he didn't know, he'd never understood Craig and they could be telling the truth about what had happened. Maybe Craig had just talked to him so that he could then make fun of Tweek when he went home!

"I don't have crooked teeth!" Tweek insisted, stubbornly. Then again, if anyone knew what his teeth looked like, it would be Craig, considering the amount of time the boy spent staring at Tweek. So maybe he did have crooked teeth and Craig had noticed but why would he tell these people who Tweek was pretty sure he didn't like about that? Why would he talk to them at all?

Picking up his friend's story, Kyle widened his eyes and said, "And then Craig was all like, 'Tweek is scared of me. He's a big chicken,'." Tweek yelped. He was a chicken, sure, but he didn't want Craig to think he was. Because when Craig had glared at him, he hadn't felt scared, he'd felt like he could actually fight back. He wanted to feel that strong again and he wanted to show Craig that he was actually not as pathetic as he looked.

Of course, now the last thing he wanted to do was fight but he wasn't even sure how to say that.

"And he started doing an impersonation of you being a chicken," Kyle continued, shocking the blond. "Well, everybody in the world saw it!" He demonstrated, much to Stan's apparent amusement.

"EVERYONE IN THE WORLD?!" Tweek screamed.  _Too much pressure!_  With another shriek he tumbled off of the box he'd been standing on, falling back into his room and hitting his head for the second time that day. Lying there on the floor, a sudden thought occurred to the blond. An image of Craig mimicking a chicken. Suddenly, the terror he'd been feeling turned into the odd desire to burst into laughter.

So he giggled, softly so the other boys wouldn't hear. He was still upset, if Craig really had done all of that stuff, then he was going to be really pissed at him. Especially after he'd acted so differently earlier when Tweek was actually there and ready to fight. But even so, it took Tweek a moment to get his wits about him because he was still convulsing in his strange high-pitched laughter.

From outside, Stan called, "Yeah, it was weak." As if he thought Tweek cared what Craig had looked like impersonating a chicken. Except he sort of did, because if it had happened then that meant that Craig still wanted to fight and by not showing up, Tweek was proving Craig's point. It wasn't fair, he hadn't even been given a fair chance this time! He'd only left cause he thought Craig had!

_I just don't_ want  _to fight Craig._

That being said, he still called out, in an oddly strangled voice, "I'm not a chicken!"  _At least not when it comes to Craig. I refuse to be!_  What were the other boys even here for, telling him all this stuff didn't exactly accomplish anything. What were they thinking?

"Well everyone in the world thinks you are," Kyle told him, sounding almost sympathetic but not enough to be believable. Why were they so invested in this at all?  _JESUS IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!_ Did they want him to fight Craig still?

That was it, wasn't it? They were here trying to convince him to fight! Because Craig still wanted to and if he didn't show up, that would make him a chicken. Craig had been so… different earlier, but now it sounded like he was back to the self that Tweek had always known he was. Mean, angry, uncaring.

"See ya," Kyle called up to him, before there were the sounds of feet on the pavement. Realizing his chance was about to vanish, Tweek desperately scrambled to his feet and pushed himself back up onto the box he'd used as a stool before.

"WAIT!" he shouted, his eyes wide and wild. "I'll fight!" Though he'd made the decision, it felt like Tweek had somehow lost. It didn't matter, he always lost anyway, what was one more time? At least he'd be able to show Craig that he wasn't completely helpless. At least he'd be able to prove to the frightening boy that even though he couldn't stand up to anyone else, he could stand up to the Noirette.

Turning back to him, Stan quickly asked, "Tomorrow?" As if he was actually giving Tweek a choice. But he wasn't this was all on their terms. Why was he even fighting at all?

Forcing the doubt from his mind, Tweek said, in a small voice, "Okay."

Grinning, Kyle said, "Great! See you there!" before bumping Stan with his shoulder and walking away, leading the taller boy away with him. The moment they were out of earshot, Tweek closed the windows and let out a loud, high-pitched scream. It wasn't fair! He didn't want to fight at all? Why had Craig done something like that? The problem was, he knew for a fact the boy would totally act entirely emotionless like that and flip on him, that's what Craig Tucker did.

He didn't stare at people with a soft, thoughtful expression on his face. He didn't ask about bruises on people's faces. He didn't look into their eyes like he could somehow see their soul. He flipped people off and flew off the handle when he wanted to. Tweek was nothing but dirt to him. The only reason Craig had talked to him today was to make him confused and weak. He couldn't let it get to him.

It made him feel sick.  _Craig_ made him feel sick.

"WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SUCH A FREAK!?" Tweek screamed at his door before stumbling and falling over again. Laying there among scattered Legos and pieces of paper, the blond boy just turned over so he was resting on his side before curling up into a fetal position. All those stupid hopes that he'd allowed to come into being evaporated as he resigned himself to forever being enemies with Craig, the one person he'd always sort of hoped he could become friends with. It was like the universe was slapping him in the face, and he couldn't do a thing about it.

))))-(((

Dinner was one of the most frustrating times for Tweek. He didn't like his family, they drove him crazy. His father was always wrapped up in his own things, happy to run the coffee shop and ignore his troubled son. His mother was flighty and drifty, hardly able to focus on anything, much less care about her only son.

So when they sat down to eat together, Tweek felt like he was eating with two robots. He could talk to them and sometimes they'd talk back but they didn't care about him, they hardly even cared about each other. The only reason their marriage worked was because they were both so damn insane they couldn't tell how fake the whole thing felt.

But Tweek could see it, Tweek could see it all and it drove him crazy. He couldn't do anything about it, he could just watch as his parents went through the motions of being human while forgetting the most important pieces. Like caring about how badly Tweek was doing, like treating him as a human and not another robot. Acknowledging that he wasn't perfect instead of acting like he was. Maybe someday they'd figure it out.

But for now, he'd just have to put up with them being even crazier than he was.

As he mechanically ate the food his mother had made, Tweek's dad brightly asked, "How was school today, son?" He always asked the same damn question, always. Nothing changed it, sometimes he'd even ask during the summer. That's how broken he was.

Trying to put everything that had happened into words, Tweek finally gave up and just let out a soft, "Nngh." It didn't matter, he couldn't even begin to tell his parents about Craig. They wouldn't get it, they'd just stare at him for a moment before going right back to eating.

Proving his point perfectly, Tweek's father said, "That's great," before going back to his salad. Tweek could have said anything and that would have been the man's response. He could have told his dad that he'd snorted cocaine off the back of Mr. Garrison and his father would still say 'that's nice' and go back to eating.

Not that he'd ever do drugs, they killed people!

Usually, he wouldn't have bothered to open his mouth again, but tonight, he felt like he had to. He was trapped anyway, he might as well try to get some advice from people older than him. Though if he was honest with himself, these two people were probably the most useless people to go to for help.

Despite this, he nervously asked, "Dad, if some kid in school wants to fight me." He fidgeted with his fork before it escaped his trembling fingers. "What should I do?" Looking up at the man, he was surprised to find that he'd actually gotten his father's attention at all.

Smiling at his twitching son, Richard Tweak pleasantly said, "Son, let me tell you a little story about when your mother and I first met." Struggling to keep himself from saying that a story was the last thing he wanted, Tweek forced himself to listen. Getting to his feet, his father continued, "You see, a long time ago, there were a lot of guys who were after your mother." He stood next to his wife, smiling at Tweek peacefully. "She used to be very attractive."

All Tweek could think was that his mother should have been too crazy to ever get a guy's attention. If she'd stayed single, maybe he wouldn't have been born into this world at all. Now he was and he was going to have to fight Craig and he really didn't want to and it was alL TOO MUCH PRESSURE!

Oblivious to her son's problems, Tweek's mom nodded, "It's true. I was." Why she was smiling so serenely when Tweek was on the verge of full mental collapse, Tweek would never know.

"Well," his father said wisely. "When I started courting your mother, there was this big muscular football player named Quib, who didn't take too kindly to me." Tweek felt some of his twitching still at this. Maybe this story was helpful… "He wanted your mother all to himself. And so, one day, he challenged me to a fight." Then Tweek's dad went back to his seat before picking up his fork and resuming eating.

For a moment, Tweek just sat there, shivering, unsure what was supposed to happen next. What had his dad done? If his dad had survived a fight or found some way out of it then maybe Tweek could as well. But his parents just kept eating and it soon became apparent that they weren't going to say anything.

Twitching hard to the left, Tweek asked, "Well?"

Looking up from her food in pleasant confusion, Tweek's mother sweetly asked, "Well what, honey?" She looked so fake, sitting there with those painted lips and soft hair and blank eyes like she couldn't feel a thing. It was terrifying, but Tweek persevered.

"GGhn, w-what happened!?" he asked, shaking, looking at both of his parents in confusion, waiting for the rest of the story.

Looking at his glass of water, Richard Tweak frowned for a moment before saying, "Oh, I- I don't know. He moved away or something." His expression immediately returned to a peaceful expression.

"Yes," Tweek's mother agreed, nodding. "I think that's right." Then she looked at her husband and smiled as if the story had been perfect and everything was entirely fine. Tweek just shook and felt something in him snap.

"GAHH! You guys never help me!" he yelled, fury building up behind his eyes and squeezing his brain. Trying to get rid of it Tweek slammed his head against the table, hardly caring when his forehead hit the edge of his plate, scattering food all over the table. No, he just kept hitting his head against the wooden surface while shrieking, "Your stories never go anywhere! I HATE IT! I WANT OUT I WANT OUT I WANT OUT!"

His glass of water fell over, soaking half the table and getting in Tweek's face and hair. He just kept banging his head against the table, screaming all the while. His head felt like it was going to explode but he didn't care because the entire day had already been so crappy, exploding wouldn't make it any worse. He just wanted Craig to not be so emotionless and incomprehensible. HE JUST WANTED HIS HEAD TO STOP YELLING AT HIM!

But true to form, his parents just went back to eating.

Finally feeling too dizzy to continue, Tweek just slumped back in his chair before scrambling out of it, heading for the kitchen with a mumble of, "I'm going somewhere else."

His robotic parents didn't even look up, they just kept eating as if Tweek hadn't said a word. Stumbling into the kitchen, Tweek grabbed for a mug and, with trembling fingers, poured himself a cup of the deep black liquid that was coffee. A few sips later, he felt like he could walk up the stairs without falling down them. It was as calm as he was going to get, and probably a lot calmer than he really deserved in a house like his.

He didn't want to think anymore, he just wanted to go up to his room and stare at his ceiling while he waited for the underpants gnomes to come. It didn't matter anyway. Who knew, maybe the whole day had just been a hallucination conjured up by his fucked up mind.

After all, it wouldn't be the first time.

_God, why does it have to be Craig…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say thank you for being so wonderful. My darlings, I wish everyone were as nice as you. I always get so happy when I get a comment. It helps distract me from my shitty life. As long as I'm losing my mind, I'll keep writing for you and as long as you keep reading, I'll keep coming back to it.
> 
> That's all. Have a wonderful day~!


	7. Can You Don't?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of your support lit a fire under my butt. Here you are, another chapter on the same day. Trust me, you deserve it.
> 
> Your wonderful comments have made me especially happy. I love to hear your opinions on the characters and what they would or wouldn't do, it helps me make my story better.
> 
> I ramble :D
> 
> Enjoy

Token Black was probably one of the richest kids in South Park. This was probably a good thing because unlike ninety percent of the other people in South Park, his family didn’t flaunt it or use it for evil and neither did their son. It just _was,_ and people were used to it.

Craig was used to it, used to being the poorest of his friends. He didn’t much care. He was just glad that Token had stopped offering to pay for things because if there was one thing Craig hated, it was handouts. Clyde accepted every time anyway so it wasn’t like the black boy didn’t get to be helpful.

Often times, Craig was able to ignore how rich the boy was, but it was times like this, when he stood in front of the Black family mansion, that Craig remembered. Token had long since given him a way past the security systems and the large expanse of perfectly manicured lawn was relaxing somehow, what with its winding paths and ornate fountains. At this time of night, all of it was silent. Every breath was audible as Craig used the code Token had given him to get through the gate before walking up the drive. This path, past the trimmed trees and neat stonework, it always made Craig feel small. He’d probably never understand why, but it never failed to do so.

As a couple of the guard dogs put their heads up, Craig waved at them, before realizing how stupid he was for waving at _dogs._ Even so, they snuffled softly as if confirming that he was indeed who he appeared to be before putting their heads down and going back to sleep. They knew him, after all, he basically lived here.

Using a side door that he had the code to instead of going through the front, Craig slipped past the entrance and took a moment to look around. It was late, but it wasn’t that late. He could hear Token’s parents in another room, laughing and chatting happily about something. There was classical music playing somewhere, it was all so _perfect,_ sometimes he felt jealous.

But the moment always passed. Closing the door behind him, Craig walked past the roaring fireplace towards the door to the basement. Not that it even felt like a basement, considering how comfortable and nice it was. Glad to hear the sounds of Clyde chattering on about something while a video game played in the background, Craig relaxed slightly. This was where he belonged. Not at home trapped in his own mind, no, Craig belonged here where he didn’t have to give a shit about anything.

Traipsing down the stairs, Craig was greeted by warm lights and Clyde, sitting on the couch with a heaping bowl of popcorn. “-not just a matter of preference Toke, it’s the best game ever!” He thumped the cushion beside him, scattering some of his food in the process.

“I swear,” muttered the black kid from the bar, where he had work from math class spread out before him. “If you say one more word about that game, I’m not letting you play it anymore.”

Raising an eyebrow, Craig helpfully chimed in, “Might want to take that popcorn away too. Everyone knows that Clyde’s motivated by food after all.” Turning around with a cry indignation, Clyde’s’ annoyance quickly evaporated once he saw Craig standing halfway down the stairs.

“CRAAAIIIIGG!” Clyde cheered, speckling the couch with bits of half-chewed popcorn. “You came!”

“Of course I did asshole,” Craig informed the idiotic boy, rolling his eyes. “Did you think I wouldn’t?” Walking the rest of the way down into Token’s basement, Craig dropped his backpack by the wall haphazardly before ambling over to where Token was sitting.

“Actually, I didn’t think you would,” Token informed him, his eyes still glued to his paper. Reaching forward blindly, the boy grabbed a can of soda and handed it to Craig, who accepted it. “You were pretty out of it today. I thought maybe you were just going to ignore us. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Craig wouldn’t have ignored us,” Clyde declared, turning back from his game and un-pausing it. “He likes hanging out with us too much to do that.”

“That’s what you think,” Craig snorted, causing Clyde to let out a pitiful whimper that was, of course, fake but still annoying as all hell. Popping the tab on his can, Craig leaned back against the counter and said, “And for the record Token, I was _not_ out of it. I was fine.” Which was total bullshit but Craig happened to speak bullshit fluently.

“If you were fine why did you go home right after school?” Clyde asked, grabbing another handful of popcorn and stuffing it into his mouth. “I mean you were supposed to fight someone, remember? You can’t just leave Craig. You _never_ just leave when you agree to fight someone.”

Thoughts of Tweek bubbling up and filling his mind, Craig’s expression darkened. “I never _chose_ to fight anyone. Cartman was the one who set it all up.” At those words, Token looked up curiously and tapped his pencil against the side of his head as if this was the most interesting thing he’d seen all day.

“But you’re still going to fight him, aren’t you?” Token pointed out. “Tweek that is. That’s what everyone’s saying.” Turning his glare on the boy beside him, Craig tried not to think about the agreement he’d made with Cartman. He should never have said yes, but the fact of the matter was that Tweek was probably going to be ready to fight and he wasn’t just going to _not_ fight. That didn’t make sense.

“Yeah,” Craig confirmed flatly, smoothing out his glare so it more resembled his usual expression. “I’m going to fight Tweek.” After months of staring he was going to hurt him. Tweek didn’t deserve this, Craig would have even argued that he didn’t deserve this, but he wasn’t seeing anyways out of it. _It’s just another fight, it’s nothing special._

“Oh man,” Clyde said excitedly, bouncing in his seat slightly. “This is going to be epic. You’re going to totally cream him! I’m pretty sure he’s terrified of you dude, he left right after school too.” Craig froze for a moment, accepting that information, before nodding. Of course, Tweek had left, he’d left so the twitchy blond had followed suit. Cartman was full of shit saying that Tweek had been talking bad about him. There hadn’t been the time.

 _I really don’t want to do this…_ “Sure, I guess,” Craig muttered noncommittally, shrugging. “I fight people all the time, it’s not going to be anything special.” _Why do people even give a fuck? What is it about Tweek and I that interest people so much?_ Taking another sip of soda, Craig stared at the ceiling distantly for a moment, wishing his head would stop bombarding him with questions.

“Because it’s you and Tweek!” Clyde burst out, forgetting all about his game in favor of crouching backward on the couch so he could lean over the back of it and stare at Craig and Token. “I mean, okay, you fight all the time. You’ve beat up loads of people, some of them not even in our grade, but it’s not the same! This is you, Craig, and him, _Tweek.”_

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Craig grumbled, annoyed with how excited Clyde seemed to be getting about the whole thing. _Can’t he see how uncomfortable the idea makes me?_ “You aren’t making any sense.”

Struggling to contain some of his excitement, Clyde spent a moment trying to construct a sentence in his mind that made sense. “Okay, so it’s like this. You’re like, really scary and stuff, right? And you’re tall and strong and shit? You’ve got this quiet controlled rage.” The way he said it, Craig had a feeling the boy had spent way too much time thinking about it.

“While Tweek,” Token chimed in, surprising Craig. “Is like your opposite. He’s short and volatile and scared of everything. But everyone’s saying that he wants to fight you and that’s surprising to people. He’s kind of like that wild card like maybe all of that twitchiness and explosiveness is going to make him actually really dangerous.”

 _Really? Token’s been thinking about it too? Fucking hell…_ “What the fuck?” Craig asked in his usual monotone voice. “That is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard.” _I thought at least Token would be sensible but I guess he’s lost it too._ Had everyone in the world lost their goddamn mind?

“Actually, it makes sense Craig,” Clyde told him sagely, grabbing another handful of popcorn and eating it contemplatively. “I mean Tweek and you seem like the kind of people who would either stick to each other like glue or explode spectacularly.” He grinned, as if proud of himself and his reasoning. “Don’t you see it, Craig? I mean you stare at Tweek all the time.”

“I do _not,”_ Craig growled, even though he knew it was pointless to fight it. “And why the hell would we stick to each other _ever?”_ Disgruntled, he looked away from both Token and Clyde. His mind kept turning, however, running that sentence over and over in his mind. Was that why he stared at Tweek all the time? Because they were naturally drawn together?

Just the words alone made his skin crawl. He wasn’t drawn to _anyone,_ even Tweek. The fact that he had to make Tweek an exception scared him all on its own, he didn’t need to think about anything else. _They’re right though. If this keeps up, we’re going to explode. I know I will, and I think Tweek might as well._ That glare promised something, it promised anger and power and a fight.

But he didn’t want that. To be honest, Craig had no idea what he wanted.

“Because he needs a friend,” Token pointed out, shrugging and going back to his math. “And you need something you can actually care about.” That made Craig turn towards him quickly in incredulity. “What?” Token asked, not even looking up. “Don’t tell me that you already have someone you care about because that’s bull. You don’t care about anything and that, Craig Tucker,  is not natural.”

“What are you,” Craig asked, his brows knitting together. “A therapist?” He didn’t like the look Token fixed him with, those unusually amber eyes seemed to be calculating what was going on inside of Craig’s head and he didn’t like it. But then, Token always acted rather perceptive when he wanted to be.

“No, I’m pretty sure I want to go into STEM,” Token said at last as if Craig’s question had been entirely serious. Staring at the black boy for another few moments, Craig shook his head and tried to put those weird things out of his head.

“Craig, you don’t have to freak out,” Clyde announced happily. “Because you’re going to fight Tweek. You hate him, right?” He grinned as if he knew exactly what Craig was thinking. “I mean, obviously you do. Cartman and his friends were pretty adamant about you two wanting to fight, just not knowing it yet.”

“That fatass doesn’t know shit,” Craig said, looking at Clyde with a flat expression. “He just thinks he does. He fucking sucks ass dude, I hate him.”

“We all do,” Clyde agreed, nodding. “But he’s setting up this fight and it’s gonna be really cool! Aren’t you excited Craig, you’re totally going to beat Tweek.” _I’m not excited,_ Craig wanted to scream, his brain feeling like it wanted to explode. _I just want to know why I can’t get him out of my head!_

“I probably will,” Craig said, a weight settling on his shoulders as he pictured Tweek, black and blue, at his mercy and begging for him to stop. But then another thought occurred to him, one of Tweek blocking his strike and hitting back twice as fast, that bruise still on his cheek, a while look in those impossibly green eyes. With an involuntary shiver, Craig added, “But I think Tweek might be more dangerous than you’re giving him credit for.”

“I think you might have a point,” Token said, writing something on one of his papers. “Tweek looks like he could do some damage. You might have a harder fight on your hands than usual.”

“Nah dude, Tweek’s a wimp,” Clyde disagreed, shaking his head. “He’s scared of his own shadow. People push him around all the time and he never does anything about it!” Craig’s fist tightened around his soda can, crushing it slightly. The sound brought Token’s attention around to Craig.

Very carefully, the boy said, “You’re right Clyde, he does get pushed around a lot. Cartman does it all the time, doesn’t he?” Craig’s anger surged up at the words. He wanted to hurt something and he didn’t know why. It frustrated him because Token kept staring at him like he was trying to decide something. “That’s where he gets all those bruises, right?” _Is he trying to get a reaction out of me?_

“Oh man, yes!” Clyde crooned, his eyes wide. “You should have seen this one bruise Cartman gave him in the locker room. He pushed him into one of those benches and every time his shirt came up you could see it. It was huge and ugly!” He wasn’t excited about it per say, but he was definitely too eager to talk about Tweek being hurt for Craig’s liking.

“You’d think that someone would stop him,” Token said, looking away from Craig so he could focus on Clyde. “Cartman really picks on him all the time. It’s cruel.” Craig could feel the blood rushing through his arms and legs and he just wanted to hit something, but he simply stared straight ahead. It didn’t fucking matter, he couldn’t stop Cartman and he didn’t want to, right? He didn’t care about Tweek. That’s why he was letting himself be goaded into fighting the boy. Because he didn’t care.

“Does he even have any friends?” Clyde asked, eating his popcorn noisily. Every bite made the pressure in Craig’s head increase. “I’ve only ever seen Kenny talk to him and I think he’s just picking on him too. Who would want to talk to him anyway?”

“He is a spaz,” Token agreed reasonably. “Always twitching and stuff.” _Who gives a shit?_ Craig felt like shouting. _Who gives a fuck that he twitches and screams in class and stares about with those big eyes? Who even gives a shit that he tugs on his hair and screams about aliens? He doesn’t fucking deserve the shit that gets thrown at him._

“No wonder no one likes him,” Clyde said, shaking his head. “I mean look at you Craig, you spent all of the school year so far staring at him and now you want to fight him. You haven’t even talked to him and he pissed you off!”

“He never pissed me off,” Craig said softly, the words escaping him without his permission. They just slipped off his tongue so naturally, he didn’t have to think about them. It made perfect sense after all, why did everyone seem to see the situation wrong? Even Token, who usually saw through a lot of Craig’s bullshit, seemed to believe that he hated Tweek? Why was everyone so dense!?

“What?” Clyde asked, tilting his head in confusion. Frustrated with him and with the words that had slipped out of his own mouth, Craig glared at nothing and tried to keep himself calm.

“Fuck off, alright?” he spat, his monotone voice changing slightly in his anger. “Why are you even talking about this. Someone should fucking make Cartman pay for shoving Tweek around for no reason and you two should  stop laughing about it.”

“We weren’t-” Clyde started slowly, furrowing his brows.

“IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER!” Craig all but shouted at the boy on the couch. “I’m going to fight Tweek tomorrow so fucking shut up about it! It’s not as if _I’m_ ever going to be his friend, he fucked that up for himself and I never wanted to be friends with a spaz in the first place.” He was breathing heavily and everyone had fallen silent but he didn’t care, he just couldn’t listen to this bullshit any longer. He felt like he wanted to be sick but all he could do was glare at Token and Clyde with all the anger he was supposed to feel towards Tweek.

Token blinked at him slowly, before turning right back around to his work. “Maybe you shouldn’t fight him, Craig.” Staring at the boy, Craig’s rage faded slightly as his face went back to its usual flat mien. “You might really kill him.” He’d thought that Token had heard his slip up, but maybe the boy hadn’t.

So Craig took a breath and said, “Yeah, I just might.” And he hated himself because when push came to shove, it was probably going to be true. “But I can’t just call off the fight, they’ll call me a pussy.”

“It’s Cartman and Stan and Kyle, what do you think they’ll do dude?” Clyde asked, snorting. “Besides, you’ve never killed someone before. Just fight Tweek, you know you want to, right? I mean, what’s the point of not fighting?” As if the matter was settled, Clyde turned back around to his video game and grabbed the controller. “The fight won’t last a minute.”

Finally choosing to settle down on one of the bar stools, Craig turned to the counter. “Probably not.” Tipping back his soda, Craig chugged the rest of it before letting the can clatter to the marble surface. _But then I might not last a minute either._ More miserable than he’d been at home, Craig closed his eyes and slumped against his arms.

In the silence, Craig’s thoughts spiraled out of his control. They inevitable circled around Tweek, the source of his eternal consternation. Instantly, his mind snapped to what Token had said, that Craig needed someone he could care about. He wasn’t even sure what that was supposed to mean, why did he need to care about anyone? People just pissed him off.

Tweek was just a distraction, someone to make his days sitting through his fourth-grade classes a little less dull. He wasn’t supposed to talk to him, he wasn’t supposed to think about the bruise on his cheek. He wasn’t supposed to feel such a righteous anger at the thought of Cartman causing Tweek so much pain. Things were supposed to make sense but they didn’t and he was sick of it.

He didn’t care about Tweek. He didn’t _want_ to care about Tweek. Why even bother to care about someone when people sucked so much? But why did he have to fight Tweek when the idea made him so miserable. He was supposed to not give a fuck but he seemed to be giving quite a few of them recently.

At least it would all be over tomorrow, he thought numbly, turning his head so he could blearily watch Token do his homework. If he hurt Tweek, then he’d have to deal with the guilt. If he didn’t fight at all, well then he’d deal with the names people would inevitably call him. Craig was sick of _caring._

But he couldn’t get Tweek out of his head.

And he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MOAR CANON DIVERGENCE
> 
> I think Token knows what's up tbh, not that he's going to say anything. He's gonna let Craig figure it out on his own.
> 
> Until tomorrow XD


	8. So Casually Cruel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! You people make me want to cry, you’re so amazing! As I write this I have no internet, but I’ll post it the moment I do! I’m just so excited! Can you believe it, we’re already eight chapters in and the story’s only been out for seven days.
> 
> All your comments make me want to weep with joy, I hope my writing can make you feel even a fraction of that happiness in return~
> 
> Enjoy.

A normal recess for Tweek Tweak was rather boring to be perfectly honest. Usually, he spent the time allotted to them hiding away from everyone else. Because many other people had the same idea, it was sometimes a little difficult to find somewhere to hide, but Tweek was very good at hiding from the rest of humanity.

It wasn’t like anyone wanted to bother him anyway, no, people were pretty good about leaving him alone. After all, no one wanted to talk to the strange, twitching boy in the corner talking to things that weren’t even there. So all he had to do was find somewhere empty and then sit there and no one would bother him. All very boring.

Was it lonely? Well, sometimes, but Tweek was used to being lonely so really it wasn’t that bad. Usually, he sat outside, near where the goths hung out but not close enough to actually talk to any of them. He knew that the ground was filthy and breathing in second-hand smoke could probably give you cancer and kill you but it was better than sitting in the cafeteria where there were just too many people or sitting somewhere else in the school, where he chanced getting knocked around.

Out here, the worst that happened was Kenny showed up and chose to make his life difficult. And really, what could you do about something like that. The odd blond just sort of did what he wanted and Tweek had no way to get him to go away.

But today, thankfully, Kenny was leaving him alone for which Tweek was eternally grateful because if there was one time that he needed peace and quiet, it was today. He’d spent all morning freaking out after all, unable to think about anything but the fight that he was going to be part of after school. It wasn’t like he could just ignore the horrible grey cloud hanging over his head, it just wasn’t possible.

The worst part, in Tweek’s mind, had been how Craig had acted.

For the first time in months, Craig hadn’t looked his way once. Tweek hadn’t been able to keep himself from glancing over at the tall Noirette every few minutes but Craig had never looked up. Except he hadn’t been simply calm and unconcerned with what was going on around him, no, Craig had looked endlessly conflicted and _angry._

It wasn’t immediately obvious, was Craig ever immediately obvious? But Tweek, who knew Craig’s expressions like the back of his hand, could see those little twitches that meant Craig was _furious._ _He’s furious with me, this is all my fault. He hates me, I just know he does!_ That’s what Kyle and Stan had said, they’d told him just how much Craig hated him, how much he made fun of him for no other reason than to be cruel. It drove him crazy because when he looked at the boy, he just didn’t want to believe it.

Craig didn’t do things like that, he was straightforward and swift in his anger. He didn’t use underhanded tactics like telling Tweek he was going home then showing up when he knew that Tweek wasn’t there. That was so _stupid_ but then Tweek saw the anger in Craig’s blue eyes and he felt his bones freezing and solidifying in his skin. _I have to fight him, I have to protect myself._

Curling up against the frankly filthy wall of the school, Tweek put his head between his knees and tugged at his hair until it felt like it was going to come out. He didn’t want to do this! He would but he didn’t want to! It wasn’t fair that this had to happen, didn’t he suffer enough already? Why did the world have to hate him so much?

At least he could eat lunch in silence. Tweek needed this moment of quiet, just doing nothing, just staring at nothing while he twitched and drank his coffee, entirely dead to the rest of the world, even while his mind consumed itself from the inside out. _THIS ISN’T HELPING!_ Frustrated, he grabbed for his thermos. It slipped from his grasp almost instantly, rolling away from him. With a cry of panic, Tweek lunged forward, hardly caring when his knees scraped against the ground.

As it slipped from his fumbling fingers once more, Tweek let out a cry and almost face planted right then and there. He couldn’t _handle this!_ Finally, his fingers managed to close around his thermos and he scrambled upwards with relief, glad to have his fix back in his hands.

“Hey, Tweek.” Jerking at the sound of that voice, Tweek dropped his thermos again as he looked up at Stan and inevitably Kyle, both of whom stood above him. Stan had his arms crossed and he was looking down at Tweek as though he’d done something wrong.

“W-what do you want!?” Tweek squeaked, reaching for his coffee only for Kyle to pick it up and hold it out of his reach. He hated this, being sprawled out at their feet like this, it made him feel even more pathetic and weak than usual and that was saying something. _The fight is later, why are they even here?! Did I miss something, are they upset with me?! Oh god, they are!_

“You need to come with us,” Stan told him coolly, his eyes betraying nothing. Tweek hated this. He didn’t understand people, the only one he could really read was Craig and that was only because of how often the boy stared at him. Tweek was in the dark when it came to these two, all he could do was fear them and what they would do to him if he didn’t comply.

“OH JESUS!” he yelped, scrambling backward and curling up against the wall. “I DIDN’T DO IT!” He didn’t even know what he hadn’t done, Tweek just didn’t want them to hurt him. He didn’t know if they would but they were friends with Cartman and they’d never stopped him. Twitching hard, he shivered and stared at his thermos, which was still in Kyle’s grasp.

“No dude,” Kyle said with a sigh of exasperation. “You didn’t do anything, but we need you to come with us, okay?” The boy looked impatient, but at least he was showing more emotion than Stan, who was still just staring at him with that slight frown on his face. “Can we not do this?”

“ACK! DO WHAT!?” Tweek demanded, unable to believe that they didn’t want to hurt him. He’d done everything they wanted him to do, he’d agreed to fight Craig, mostly because of their goading, he’d never tried to fight back against any of them, why would they want him to do something now? “Where do you –ngh- w-want me to go?”

“Stop freaking out, we don’t have time for this,” Stan muttered, rolling his eyes. Without any care for how terrified Tweek was, the taller boy stepped forward and just grabbed Tweek’s wrist and dragged him upright. “You want to fight Craig, right?”

“B-but that was supposed to be after school, right?” Tweek squeaked, squeezing his eyes shut against the too-hard grip of Stan’s hand. He didn’t dare fight the hold, he just let himself be dragged along. “OH GOD! D-don’t make me fight him now! I’m not ready!” His feet caught on one of the stairs and he felt himself going down. Not wanting to be pulled down himself, Stan let go of his wrist, letting Tweek fall face first into the school.

“You aren’t fighting yet,” Kyle explained, stepping around the fallen boy so he could stand beside Stan. “We’re weighing you, okay? Come on, the Nurse is only out to lunch for another ten minutes. You’re going so slowly.”

Struggling to get to his feet, even as his body protested him, Tweek shuffled upright and managed to avoid Stan grabbing his arm again. “JESUS OKAY! I’LL COME!” Following their clipped pace, Tweek nervously walked after Stan and Kyle, who were arguing about something. _They’re probably planning how to kill me. Oh god, what if Craig is waiting for me and they’re going to have me fight him now anyway?! It’s too much pressure!_

 As he got a bit closer, he managed to make out what they were saying, not that it made him feel any better. “Dude,” Kyle was saying, still waving around Tweek’s precious thermos, probably because he’d forgotten he even had it. “I’m telling you, he’s always staring at him. There’s no way that he’s going to actually do it. It’ll be an easy fight.”

“I mean, Tweek is pretty strong, isn’t he?” Stan agreed, keeping perfect step with Kyle. It was almost mesmerizing to watch, the way the two of them instinctively matched their pace with each other, walking in sync like they’d practiced it. “Remember that time he ran through that glass door? He was crazy!”

Tweek shivered at that memory. It had been in third grade and if it weren’t for the coat that he’d happened to be wearing that day, his arms would have been torn to shreds. As it was, he still had several scars on his palms and his thighs from the mess that had resulted. _Of course people remember it, people don’t just forget things like that._ He’d stayed at home for a week afterward with orders to get looked at, but his parents had forgotten to get him to a psychologist and so in the end, he’d just gone back to school, nothing fixed and nothing changed.

“It doesn’t matter, what matters is Craig isn’t going to fight back,” Kyle argued, his voice full of that logical tone that he always got when he was explaining something that he thought was entirely self-evident. “As long as Tweek doesn’t freak out, he’s got this.”

 _Craig might not fight back?!_ No, they were wrong! Of course Craig was going to fight, he hated Tweek, that was the whole point! He’d said a bunch of mean things and that’s why Tweek had to fight him. Because Craig wanted to fight. What were they talking about, him not fighting? Just because Craig stared at him didn’t mean that he wouldn’t fight back and hard.

_If he doesn’t fight me, I’m not going to fight him!_

“But that’s not exactly a fight,” Stan pointed out, waving the arm that wasn’t almost constantly bumping against Kyle’s in that weird way of theirs that Tweek never failed to notice when the two of them walked next to each other. “Craig needs to fight him, otherwise we haven’t proved anything. Look, if Craig gets angry enough, he’ll fight, plain and simple.”

“Whatever dude,” Kyle muttered, clearly done trying to convince Stan otherwise. Whimpering softly, Tweek fell back a few paces and tried to understand what they’d just said. Nothing was making sense anymore! Why were they so excited about the two of them fighting? Why was everyone so into this!? It didn’t make any sense, especially when most of the time, Craig didn’t seem to like broadcasting his fights. He just did, he didn’t turn it into a big deal.

Now, it felt like the whole school knew and it made Tweek feel sick to his stomach.

“Come on Tweek, we just need to get your weight,” Stan told him, ushering him into the nurse’s office. Glancing over at his thermos, which Kyle held between his hands, Tweek twitched hard to the side and asked, “D-do I have to take my shoes off or anything?”

“Nah, don’t bother,” Kyle assured him, watching as Stan pulled out the nurse’s cheap bathroom scale that she’d had for goodness knew how long. “I don’t think Craig did. Did he?” Stan looked up at Kyle and thought for a moment before shrugging and making sure Tweek was positioned in front of the scale.

“Don’t think so. Whatever, just step on the scale Tweek.” Doing as he was bid, Tweek let out a small, involuntary noise before stepping onto the scale and waiting while the other two boys took down his weight. It was made difficult because he couldn’t stand still for more than a second or two, but finally, Kyle all but pushed him off of it and waited for Stan to put it away before heading towards the door.

“C-can I go now?” Tweek asked nervously, unable to focus on Kyle’s face or anything for that matter. _What if we get caught?! THAT’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!_ But he didn’t want to scream right now, even though he felt like doing it anyway. He just wanted to get out of there!

But apparently, he wasn’t going to get away that easily. Stan shook his head, that frown reappearing on his face. “No way dude, we have to get you to the cafeteria. You want to fight Craig, right? Well, you need to listen to us or it’s not going to happen.” _Good,_ Tweek wanted to yell. _I don’t want to fight him!_ Except when he looked at Stan and Kyle, he felt something in him duck and run for cover. Mute, Tweek nodded.

“Good,” Kyle commented before exiting the nurse’s office, leading them towards the cafeteria, Stan back to walking at his side. All Tweek could do was follow and pray he survived.

The moment they stepped into the large, fluorescently lit room, Tweek felt his blood run cold. Instantly, all he wanted to do was flee. Everyone in the grade was there, all gathered around a table that had been pushed almost against the wall so it served as a podium of sorts. All the other tables had been pushed out of the way to make room for the spectacle. Above the table hung a banner.

In big letters, it proclaimed _TWEEK VS. CRAIG._ Tweek was pretty sure he was going to pass out.

Eyes finally traveling over the people already seated at the table, Tweek felt his heart stop. There he was, his face an impassive mask of unfeeling. The moment they stepped through the door, Craig’s eyes traveled towards Tweek and they fixed there, intense, unmoving. Tweek couldn’t look away.

Craig didn’t look as upset as he had earlier. If anything, the moment he made eye contact with Tweek, some of the tension leaked out of his shoulders. His expression didn’t soften, Craig’s face didn’t move, but Tweek could almost feel the stab of regret that ran through the Noirette in that moment. But then it was over and he was being ushered around the crowd of kids, towards the makeshift podium. _Did that really happen? Am I imagining things? He still wants to kill me, right? That’s what this is all about, that’s why he’s here. He’s been upset all morning!_

Sliding in beside Cartman, Kyle didn’t bother to meet the fat boy’s gaze as he stiffly leaned over and conferred with him before leaning away quickly and saying something to Stan, who had seated Tweek between them. Nodding, Stan faced the gathered kids and addressed them, almost like an announcer would.

“Okay, so, just to set the record straight here, the fight will be happening out by the tetherball pole at 3:30.” Tweek shivered and twitched in his seat. That’s how long he had till he died. That’s how long he had to reflect on how miserable and pathetic his existence had truly had been. Noticing that Kyle had finally set down his thermos, Tweek yearned to reach for it but didn’t dare. Not when it was so close to Cartman.

He could feel Craig’s eyes burning into him but he couldn’t meet them, he just fixed his attention over the heads of the other students and tried to tune it all out as Stan continued. “Tweek just weighed in at 45 pounds, Craig at 48.” Tweek shivered. There wasn’t as much of a difference between him and Craig as he’d expected, but it was still there, in addition to the height difference which was staggering. _This isn’t a fair fight!_

But since when had he had an opinion?

From the crowd, a kid Tweek recognized instantly as Clyde, one of Craig’s closest friends, raised his hand. “Uh, how long do you expect the fight to last?” _A few seconds? How long do you think it’s going to take him to kill me?!_   What if Craig drew it out though, what if he wanted to make Tweek suffer?

Unable to help himself, Tweek looked over at Craig. The boy wasn’t facing him anymore, he was instead looking at Clyde with a blank expression. As if he was confused, the Noirette slowly opened his mouth and said,  “I- Uh…”

Cartman covered his mouth swiftly with one of his large hands. With a smarmy smirk, the boy said, “However long Craig wants it to last.” Tweek slammed a hand over his own mouth to stop himself from screaming. As if drawn by the sudden movement, Craig’s eyes looked over Cartman’s arm and over at Tweek. Trapped in those blue eyes, Tweek shivered and bit down on his lip hard enough to draw blood.

As all the kids laughed, Cartman pulled his hand away, seemingly assured of Craig’s continued silence.

“Look, make no mistake,” Cartman continued, oblivious to where Craig’s attention had gone. “Craig has been ready for this fight since day one. He doesn’t even view it as a challenge.” Tweek searched Craig’s gaze for confirmation of this fact but all he found was that unending calm, that utter flatness. But still, he narrowed his eyes, trying to understand what the boy was thinking.

Then suddenly, Craig’s eyebrows fell and Tweek saw it. _He’s not ready, is he?_ _OH god, neither of us are ready for this! HE’S SUPPOSED TO HATE ME WHY DOES HE KEEP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!?!_ His head felt like it was about to explode. But Craig’s expression didn’t change, he just stared at Tweek like he wanted to speak but couldn’t.

“He’ll view it as a challenge when he’s getting his ass kicked!” Kyle announced, glaring at Cartman in anger. _No, just shut up!_ Tweek wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to do. He couldn’t tell if Craig was angry at him or not and every time the other boys talked about him fighting Craig, Tweek felt more and more trapped.

Cupping a hand to his ear mockingly, Cartman crooned, “Huh, did you hear that?” His words only seemed to piss Kyle off more. Tweek hated it, he just wanted Cartman to stop. “It sounds like some diarrhea coming out of someone’s mouth or something.”

Furious, Kyle shouted, “SHUT UP FATASS!”

Whipping around, Cartman growled, “Don’t call me fat, you son of a bitch!” Without even a moment’s pause, the larger boy tackled Kyle, knocking him to the ground. As Cartman started punching at Kyle’s face, Stan leaped up and ran to his friend’s defense, delivering a hard kick to Cartman’s gut.

With an easy shrug that seemed to be directed at the audience gathered before them, Kenny slid his legs around and jumped into the fight as well, tackling Stan and driving him away from Cartman. As they fought, Tweek found himself tangling his hands in his hair and pulling hard, the anger surrounding him driving him insane.

But then Craig caught his eyes again. As the boy stared at him coolly, that regretful look gone like it had never existed, Tweek found himself able to breathe again. Usually, that gaze would have stressed him out more but at that moment, Tweek found himself releasing his hair and just twitching hard as his heart raced in his ears. _I- I don’t get it._

From the crowd, Clyde unhelpfully observed, “Wow. Tweek and Craig really hate each other, huh?” Grinning, he announced, “This should be a good fight!” As if snapped back to earth by his friend’s voice, Craig looked away from Tweek. Before the blond could even blink, Craig’s hand shot out and he grabbed Tweek’s thermos before slipping off the bench and walking out of the cafeteria.

 _WHAT THE HELL!?_ Feeling his panic welling up again just as quickly as it had gone, Tweek scrambled to get off of the bench, confusion and anger in his blood. _What an asshole! He knows I need that!_ After everything, this Tweek realized, was irrefutable proof that Craig hated him.

It wasn’t enough to simply steal what little peace of mind he had, no, Craig had to take the one thing that could partially calm Tweek down. _Now who knows what he’s done with it! Oh god, I have to get out of here!_ Shaking harder than he had been through any of the other stressful events of the day, Tweek blindly pushed his way out of the cafeteria and slammed the door behind him, wishing he could just scream.

“Hey, Tweek.”

He did scream. “GOD! FUCK! AHHHGH!!” Covering his ears, Tweek crouched against the door, trembling uncontrollably.

As the owner of that pair of long legs pushed off of the lockers, Tweek watched and cowered, terrified. He knew those dark pants, those old sneakers that had seen better years. Looking up ever so slowly, terrified of what was going to happen to him, the blond let his eyes travel over that blue hoodie, aged yet somehow better in its age. Over those large, strong hands that held a familiar silver thermos, its usual gigantism dwarfed by the person holding it.

Finally, Tweek’s eyes found that face. Each feature committed to memory. Like he couldn’t even help himself.

Tugging down the edge of his old chullo with his free hand, Craig stared down at Tweek impassively, just like always. There was no anger there, but there was no emotion either. He just stared at him, like he was waiting for Tweek to make the first move. When all the boy did was twitch and tremble, Craig almost sighed.

“Here.” He tossed the thermos at Tweek, who by some miracle, managed to reach out and catch it. Its minute warmth and familiar weight made some of his trembling slow. “They were about to knock it off the table,” Craig said, by way of explanation, his eyes never leaving Tweek’s. Always so unnervingly steady and _blue._ “It would have fallen.”

Staring at Craig in badly concealed wonder, Tweek quickly opened the thing and took several large gulps of the steaming liquid inside, relishing the taste of coffee as it slid down his throat and warmed his gut. Shutting it before he managed to spill it everywhere, Tweek muttered, “T-Thanks.” Meeting his eyes once more, Tweek wanted desperately to open his mouth and ask the questions just waiting on his tongue. _Do you actually want to fight? Do you hate me? Did you really say all those horrible things about me or were they making them up?_

_Are you really as scary as I’ve always thought you were?_

But he couldn’t, and after a second of silence, Craig flipped him off and said, “See you this afternoon,” before walking away, hands in his pockets, completely calm.

All Tweek wanted to do was scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty crazy, no? Y’all are too wonderful to me, I do hope this chapter was everything you wanted and more. We’re getting closer to that fight. Man, I’m excited! Or something. Maybe apprehensive is a more accurate word XD
> 
> Please keep talking to me, I love to know what you think. It makes me feel a little better every time someone says something.


	9. A Lie For You, A Lie For me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *squeals* *falls to the floor* *rolls around in utter joy* YOU PEOPLE ARE SO NICE!!! I can hardly stand it, I keep thinking that you're all going to stop commenting and lose interest but you keep coming back and being so nice and AHHH!!! *hugs every one of you*
> 
> I'm sorry I'm sorry, *backs up through the screen* Personal space, I know. I suppose the best way to thank you then is a new chapter!
> 
> I hope you like it, really I do~
> 
> Enjoy.

Craig should never have grabbed the thermos. He knew this the moment his fingers closed around the slightly warm metal. It was stupid, he was stupid for doing it, but it had been close to the edge and Craig had suddenly been struck with this intense realization that if he didn't grab it, it would fall to the floor and Tweek would look like a fool as he scrambled to pick it up.

He just didn't want it to look like he was going to fight a total wimp.

That was it, he told himself as he leaned against the lockers and stared at the thermos in his fingers. That was the only reason he'd done what he'd done. It didn't have anything to do with the fact that he was upset with Kyle for taking Tweek's coffee away. That was just a fact of life, nothing to lose his mind over. And he didn't feel guilty because it didn't matter that Tweek had looked at him with heartbreak when he'd grabbed the container of coffee like he'd just crushed his spirits, Craig didn't care about the boy.

It didn't matter how much he regretted this whole fiasco, he didn't care at all.  _I don't care,_ he repeated to himself, eyes trailing back towards the cafeteria, from which the sounds of fighting could be still heard.  _It's just Tweek, I don't care._

Suddenly, the sound got quite a bit louder as a flash of blond and green flew through the door and slammed it shut behind it. As the thing slowed down, Craig instantly recognized Tweek's soft whimpers, the way he shivered as he pressed his spine against the door he'd just exited. A million things flashed through Craig's head, including how fucking  _wide_  those green eyes really were.

But he banished those thoughts quickly, needing a clear head for this. In his usual flat tone, Craig simply called out, "Hey Tweek."

He didn't even know what he was supposed to say to the boy, he just knew he had to say something. It was like his mouth wouldn't give him another option. Just like last night, Craig realized that there were moments where thinking just wasn't an option, sometimes, he just had to speak.

At once, Tweek let out a scream. "GOD! FUCK! AHHHGH!" As if deafened by his own shouts, Tweek covered his ears quickly and sank to the ground, drawing his knees to his chest and huddling up in fear. Craig hated that he could produce this reaction from Tweek so easily, but he pushed that thought out of his head as well.  _He should be scared of me, I'm a monster._   _I'm going to fight him when I literally have no reason to._

The thought made his head feel clouded.

So he pushed himself away from the wall and slowly walked over to the shivering and twitchy blond. As he drew closer, Tweek's eyes traveled up towards his face, almost like he was waiting for something bad to happen. But when their eyes met, the look of wonder in those green orbs was overwhelming.

Forcing himself to ignore it, Craig tugged the edge of his hat down before stopping in front of Tweek.  _Is he thinking about whether I want to hurt him or not?_ He hoped not, but he knew that it was probably a lost cause at this point. But he couldn't stop watching the boy, unable to make up his mind at all. Everything, the resolve he'd built up and the resignation for what was to come melted away, leaving him confused, unable to think.

For a moment, he thought that Tweek might say something, tell him that he didn't want to fight, that they should call the whole thing off. He'd seen it in the boy's eyes just minutes before, that he wasn't ready for this any more than Craig was. But Tweek just twitched and stayed silent, too frightened probably to speak.

Sighing softly, just a small escaping puff of air, Craig hefted the thermos. "Here." Resisting the urge to just hand the damn thing to Tweek, the Noirette tossed the container to the boy. Quickly, Tweek's hands shot out and he caught the thermos. As if just the presence of coffee calmed him, Tweek stopped twitching quite so violently, instead staring up at Craig as if he could hardly believe his eyes.

Needing to explain himself, though he'd never felt that desire before, Craig said, "They were about to knock it off the table, it would have fallen."  _Why the hell am I explaining myself to him, I did nothing wrong._  Snapping his mouth shut, Craig just kept staring at Tweek, trying to wonder why this was so different, why the blond was so different.

As if he half expected someone to take it away from him, Tweek fumbled the lid open at once and quickly gulped down the coffee inside, his entire body relaxing as the caffeine, or at least the idea of the caffeine hit his system. Craig just watched, unable to do anything else. Lowering the thermos, Tweek looked back into his eyes and said, in a slightly breathless voice, "Thanks."

For a moment, Craig wanted to say something more.  _Why are we doing this?_  He wanted to ask.  _Why are we letting them control what we're doing? Why do I want to hurt Cartman for what he did to you? How do I get you out of my head?_

_When did I let you make such a mess of things?_

It felt like the revelation he'd been waiting for was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't quite make it translate into words. He just watched Tweek and thought, insofar as he could, that when the blond stared at him like that, Craig felt small.

_Hey Tweek, I don't think I'm going to fight you today._

And it was like his entire perception of his world shattered. Shaking himself from the trance he'd fallen into, Craig flipped Tweek off, though there was no anger behind the action. "See you this afternoon," he said simply, before stuffing his hands in his pockets and walking away, leaving Tweek huddled up on the floor.

The moment he turned a corner, Craig paused and stared at the ground, his mind in chaos. Gritting his teeth suddenly, the boy slammed his fist into the locker beside him, the resulting  _clang_  echoing through the halls. Breathing heavily he just stood there, his eyes shut tight.

_What's wrong with me?_

))))-((((

"Aw man, this is going to be sweet," Cartman said, looking way too excited about the whole thing. Craig stood next to him, his hands in his pockets, his eyes trained on the ground. He'd only just gotten back here, and there had already been a crowd of people waiting for him. Everyone in the grade had turned out for the fight and it seemed that it was a pretty even split between who thought he'd win and who thought Tweek would win.

None of them knew that Craig wasn't going to fight. It was probably for the best, he might actually end up fighting Cartman if they knew.

That morning, he'd been sure he was going to fight Tweek. Get it over with quickly, that had been his whole plan. One punch to put him on the ground, the second strike to make him see stars. By the third hit, Tweek would be out cold, the fourth would be just to make it believable. It would all be over and someone would take Tweek to the hospital and Craig would be there when the boy woke up so he could apologize.

He didn't care, but Tweek was still different, so he'd be there and he'd accept the fact that he'd ruined any chance of him and Tweek ever getting along. That had been his plan and it had been a rather good one in his eyes.

But then at recess, it had all gone to shit. Now he couldn't even fight Tweek at all. Craig wasn't sure what was going to happen because of it, but at least he could be sure that Tweek wouldn't end up with another bruise because of him.

The only way he might fight Tweek was if Tweek was ready and willing to fight him, but he knew that was a lost cause, there had been too much fear in Tweek's eyes for that to happen.  _It's all just a show, we're nothing but pawns for Cartman and his gang._

"You are going to kick Tweek's  _ass,"_  Cartman announced, looking up at Craig with that shit-eating grin.

Turning his flat expression on Cartman, Craig was silent for just long enough to dim that smile on the boy's face before saying, "Probably." The word brought back Cartman's smile in an instant.  _Goddamnit, I hate this, I hate him._  It was  _so_ tempting to just turn on the fatass and slug him, put him on the ground and beat the shit out of him instead of hurting Tweek.

But he didn't, he just stood there.

_I really need to figure out this shit with Tweek._  He didn't want to think about it too hard, it left him feeling like the world had been turned on its head, but if he didn't, Craig worried that he'd be an emotional mess forever. That would be unpleasant and he'd rather not have to handle that. That being said, the moments before the supposed fight between him and Tweek was probably not the time to be thinking about it.

As if thinking about the boy summoned him, a group of people entered the playground yard, Stan and Kyle leading it, flanking a frankly nervous looking Tweek. Craig didn't blame him. He found himself taking his hands out of his pockets, unable to keep completely still. As they got closer, Craig could hear what Stan was saying. "Stay pissed, Tweek. Stay pissed."

As they drew level with Cartman's group, both groups drew back a little, walking around them and forming a crowd to the side, as if giving Tweek and Craig room. It left them standing there alone, staring at each other. Craig looked down into Tweek's eyes, his expression as flat as ever. Tweek twitched to the side, that nervous tilt of his mouth remaining unchanged.

_I'm not going to hit you,_  Craig couldn't help but think, wondering if Tweek could possibly understand his thoughts just through his eyes.  _I'm not going to hurt you, not when you don't want to hurt me._  Because Tweek wasn't raising his fist in anger, and Craig didn't dare move, for fear of setting the twitching boy off.

"Alright, here we go," Stan said, standing beside Cartman and staring at Tweek and Craig. Craig could feel the eyes of the rest of the grade on him, but he didn't react to it. Miraculously, Tweek didn't either. Craig wondered if he was imagining the understanding that passed through those green eyes, had to wonder if it was simply wishful thinking.  _I don't want to do this, I don't want to fight you when I don't have any reason to._

"Time for you to get proven wrong, fat boy," Kyle was saying, his voice somehow sounding distant. All Craig could hear were the involuntary sounds coming out of Tweek's mouth, that and his own ragged breathing.

"You're gonna be eating those words, asshole," Cartman shot back, sounding excited. Craig could feel the collective anticipation of everyone watching them, why had this turned into such a spectacle? Tweek blinked jerkily, first one eye then the other as if his brain couldn't quite decide what to do.

"No I won't," Kyle said. "Because you'd eat 'em first, tubby." That bruise was still there, that fucking purple mark that reminded Craig who the real enemy was. It wasn't Tweek, it would never be the blond. It would only ever be the people who hurt him because it was easy and because it was fun.  _Once I hit him, that makes me no better than any of them._

So he didn't, he just blinked passively at Tweek and slipped his hands back into his pockets. Tweek's eyes widened minutely as if they weren't already as wide as dinner plates, but he didn't speak.

"Well?" Stan asked, sounding frustrated with the lack of action. Tweek jumped slightly at that as if he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. Craig could almost see the pressure building up in him, but Tweek didn't scream, he just looked towards Craig as if waiting.

Watching him steadily, Craig did something that he'd never really done before, not in living memory. Secretively, so the rest of the gathered crowd couldn't see, Craig twitched the side of his mouth up in the barest memory of a smile.

Maybe Tweek didn't catch it, but Craig finally knew what he was going to do.  _Fuck, this is going to take a miracle to pull off._

"Come on!" Cartman insisted, his tone whiny. Craig didn't react to it, he didn't need to. He just watched Tweek with that tiny smile and thought,  _trust me. Trust me to know what I'm doing._  Maybe he couldn't get out of this fight, maybe he could, but Craig knew for certain that he wasn't going to fight Tweek today.

"Yeah, if you're gonna do it, do it!" At the sound of Wendy's voice, Craig dropped his expression back to his perfect deadpan and slowly revolved to face the crowd, finally looking away from Tweek.  _Well, here goes nothing._

"What do we do?"

You could have heard a pin drop.

Stan was the first to speak. "Huh?" Because of course everyone there knew that what Craig had just said was ridiculous. Everyone knew what you did in a fight, Craig especially. But at that moment, Craig felt like he'd done the right thing.  _Fuck all of them, fuck anyone who wants me to fight Tweek, I'll do what I want._

"What do you mean, 'what do you do?'," Cartman asked, tilting his head in confusion as if Craig had spoken in a foreign language. His confusion was mirrored by the rest of the people gathered. "You just fight each other!"

As if he was catching on to what Craig was trying to do, Tweek whipped around and asked, "How!?" Craig almost  _almost_  wanted to snort with laughter. Probably, Tweek really didn't know how to fight and the looks of horror on Kyle's and Stan's faces were priceless.  _Never even thought of that before dragging us together to fight, did you?_

"How?" Kyle asked in a strangled voice, a look of disbelief on his face. His eyes kept flicking between Craig and Tweek as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. So Craig decided that if they were going to bullshit this whole thing, he might as well go for broke.

"I've never been in a fight before," he lied, in a completely serious tone. It was at this point that a choked sound escaped from Tweek that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.  _Oh my god, we're actually doing this. There's no way that they're buying a word I'm saying but fuck it, I think I just made Tweek laugh._

"Me neither," Tweek managed, once he'd gotten control of his own vocal chords. Craig had to resist the urge to look at the boy, because for someone who couldn't handle pressure, Tweek was doing a marvelous job.

At Tweek's proclamation, the gathered children instantly let out cries of disgust and anger. It was obvious that no one believed either of them but it didn't matter, Tweek and he weren't fighting. For now, they were fine.

Over the jeering of the crowd, Stan called, "Aw dude, come on! That's bullshit!" He looked so annoyed that Craig and Tweek were defying him and it was just so  _satisfying_  to see.  _I might not have won the war, but I definitely beat them this time._  Really, he shouldn't feel so damn  _good_  about something like this.

The best part was that Tweek let out another one of those strangled giggles. It could have been mistaken as one of his usual spastic noises, but Craig could hear the difference and it made him feel even more defiant.

"Yeah," Cartman agreed, sounding exasperated. "You just hit each other! Smack each other around." Turning back to Tweek, Craig narrowed his eyes ever so slightly, as if goading Tweek into doing it. Eyes wide, yet full of laughter and relief, Tweek stepped forward and reached up so he could shove Craig back an inch. Without any real force behind it, Craig slapped Tweek's face in return, careful to avoid the bruise on his cheek.

Kyle let out an annoyed sigh. "Not like that!"

Face twisting into a look of worry, as if only just realizing that there really were other people watching them, Tweek twisted his head to face the crowd and squeaked out, "Like what then?" Craig felt his stomach twist to see the return of that genuine nervousness in Tweek, but he assumed it was inevitable and didn't fight it.

With a groan, Stan stormed over to them, fire in his eyes. "All right, all right, screw it!" Tweek jumped away as Stan got between them. Glaring at Craig as if to say  _I know what you're doing,_  he turned to Tweek and gave him a look that made the blond cringe back in fear. "We have to postpone the fight 'til Tweek and Craig can  _learn_  how to fight." The sarcasm was clear, but Craig couldn't have cared less if he tried.

With groans of annoyance, the crowd dispersed, all tired of waiting around for a fight that wasn't going to happen yet. Most of them left, Kenny walked up beside Cartman and stayed there, seemingly content to watch the shitshow. Craig knew that this was just postponing the inevitable, but at least it would give Tweek a better chance to get ready. And maybe he'd figure out a way out of it for good. He could only hope.

Turning to Tweek, Stan crossed his arms and said, "All right, Tweek, we'll teach you how to fight." Tweek squeaked at that, glancing over Stan's shoulder at Craig as if looking for back up. All Craig did was raise an eyebrow as if to ask,  _Well, are you going to roll over or are you going to fight?_  Tweek shivered, but he didn't look quite so uncertain.

Pointing at Cartman, Stan said, "And Cartman, you teach Craig." Craig fought not to roll his eyes. As if the fatass could teach him anything. Actually, if they fought, more than likely Craig would end up hurting Cartman. He couldn't say he wouldn't enjoy it.

As if realizing this himself, Cartman quickly said, "I don't think that's very fair. If I teach Craig, he's gonna really kill Tweek." Another quick glance towards Tweek to find him staring at him. Craig knew what was running through the blonde's mind, could see in on his face. He knew what that look was.  _He believes Cartman, doesn't he? He can't help himself._  That, beyond all of the other shit that had happened, made Craig feel defeated and frustrated.

_No matter what I do, it's like he just has to believe I hate him. What am I supposed to do? I've been nothing but supportive of him and this is what I get in response._ Once again that irrational frustration welled up within him. He just wanted Tweek to stop looking at him like he was a monster. That was it! _He thinks I want to kill him, but I don't! I don't want to hurt him at all!_

His hands clenched into fists, and suddenly, Tweek's eyes widened in fear and he looked away from Craig, his intense twitching returning.  _Fuck him,_  Craig thought savagely, even though it made him feel miserable.  _Fuck Tweek Tweak and his twitching and his paranoia. Fuck him!_

Meanwhile, Stan and Cartman continued to argue, as if anyone even gave a shit. "Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna have my uncle Jimbo teach Tweek how to box!" Kyle moved to stand beside Stan and crossed his arms, nodding in agreement. Forcing himself to focus on them instead on Tweek, Craig frowned, trying to picture the blond boxing.

"Ooooh!" Cartman mocked, waving his hands around. "Boxing's scary you guys!" Then his glare returned and he shot back, "I'm gonna have Craig learn martial arts!"  _Oh joy, I'm just going to_ love _this._  Well, he'd gotten himself into this, Craig figured that he'd just have to deal with the consequences. Bitterly, he thought,  _I should have just punched Tweek when I had the chance. It's not like I would have changed his opinion of me at all anyway._

"Fine!" Stan snapped, his hands clenched into fists. "We'll see you back here tomorrow!" Nudging Kyle slightly, he turned around, leading Tweek after him.

"Fine!" Cartman called back, still not moving, just glaring at them. From beside him, Kenny rolled his eyes and snorted.

"Fine!" Kyle called back, finally following Stan and falling into step beside him.

"Fine, that's fine!" Cartman called after their retreating figures before rumbling in disgust. Kenny, on the other hand, just laughed.

"You guys are the best," he said, before ambling away. Slapping Craig on the back, the blond said to the taller boy, "Go on boy, give Tweek hell tomorrow." Then he was gone, leaving Craig even tenser than he'd been before.

Waiting for a moment, as if letting Kenny get out of earshot, Cartman finally let out a growl and turned on Craig. Shoving him, the shorter boy snapped, "Craig, why the  _hell_  did you do that?"

"Do what?" Craig asked, forcing himself not to fight back. He simply towered over Cartman, his sheer height doing all the work he needed it to do. Uncertainly, Cartman took a step back but didn't change his expression.

"You know what!" Fiercely, Cartman said, "I know for a fact that you get into all kinds of fights, why didn't you just beat him then! You could have totally whipped his ass!"

Coolly, Craig leaned back on his heels and said, "It wouldn't have been a fair fight. If I'm going to beat him, I want it to be fair."

"That's never stopped you before!" Cartman insisted, crossing his arms. "This is  _bullshit_  Craig, you did that on purpose, you want to lose on purpose, don't you?!" Getting closer, Cartman sneered, "What, you gonna kiss Tweek's sweet ass? Is that what you are? A fag, just like him?"

Drawing in a sharp breath through his nose, Craig fought the bubbling in his blood that demanded he slug Cartman right there.  _How dare he suggest that? How dare he suggest that I'm gay!? I don't even care about Tweek!_  "No," Craig said, softly instead of shouting like he wanted to. "I'm not. I'm going to fight him. I hate him."

Seemingly content with this, Cartman took a step back and huffed in approval. "That's what I thought."

And the worst part was, Craig wasn't even sure if he was lying anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I totally added in that thing with Cartman but it was worth it, right?
> 
> Craig is such a confused angry boi right now, I can't even. He needs a hug from Tweek, that would make it better.


	10. All Fired Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that you seriously made my day yesterday. When I went to work, I had gotten no comments, when I went on my break, I had ten. I nearly broke down in tears I was so happy. *Hugs every one of you*
> 
> I really want to reiterate that if you have any problems with how I'm writing, please don't hesitate to say something. I really will do my best to change things, if people agree that it's a problem. I can't please everyone, my writing style isn't perfect, but if it's something big, I want to get better.
> 
> That being said, I have a new chapter for you so please, dig in! ;)
> 
> Enjoy.

"I can't believe this," Kyle grumbled, his arms crossed over his chest, righteous indignation coming off of him in waves. "We go to all this trouble and look where it gets us. How long is this going to go on?" He sounded pissed, and that was probably an understatement. Though really, could you blame him.

"Calm down dude." Stan just sounded sort of tired. "It's all bullshit, I know." His arm bumped Kyle's, the action draining some of the fire from the redhead's body language. "I didn't think they'd pull that stunt either."

Trailing behind them, Tweek cringed backward. He knew they were talking about what had happened earlier that afternoon, it was all they'd been talking about and it scared him, mostly because he was confused at what had happened as well. He'd felt almost… confident at the time, but now, he just felt scared.

And sick, don't forget sick.

"I mean, don't they hate each other!" Kyle suddenly exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. Whipping around to face Tweek, the boy narrowed his eyes and asked sharply, "Isn't that right Tweek, don't you hate Craig!?"  _Oh, God! No, I don't think so! I don't know anymore!_

"Why!?" Tweek blurted out instead, unable to help himself. "Why am I s-supposed to -ghn- hate Craig?!" He shivered as both Stan and Kyle stopped and turned to face him.  _OH GOD, THAT WAS THE WRONG ANSWER!_  Cowering under their collective attention, Tweek babbled, "I- I mean he didn't fight me."

"But he hates you," Stan said slowly, as if he were spelling something out for a child. Tweek wanted to be upset but he was too busy being intimidated. "Come on dude, if someone hates you, you aren't supposed to like him, that's pretty gay." Tweek cringed at that.  _I know he hates me, I know Craig wants to kill me! But there was a moment where he didn't. Why did it change so fast? Why can't he just make up his mind and stop dragging this out?!_

Rolling his eyes at Stan's immature name-calling, as if he were any better, Kyle said, "Yeah Tweek, you're being a wuss. You need to stand up for yourself." Tweek shook his head, a soft squawk escaping him. He didn't like that, he didn't like that he was expected to fight Craig, even if the boy did hate him.

The whole thing had been so confusing, their attempted fight. Tweek hadn't wanted to do it, hadn't even known how to start to be upset with Craig. All he'd been able to think about was how kind Craig had been earlier and how peaceful he looked, just standing there, not fighting, not doing anything. Just staring into Tweek's eyes with those wicked blue eyes like the rest of the gathered students didn't matter.  _Heck, he tricked me into believing for a moment too._

"Ack! But I'm n-no good at fighting!" Tweek screeched, twitching hard. "And Craig isn't even trying to hurt me! He- He doesn't hate me that much, just a little bit, right?"  _Why am I going to them for anything? They're just going to try to convince me to hate Craig. They just want a fight!_  He was sure of that much now, knew it as surely as he knew that he'd somehow screwed up that afternoon. Kyle and Stan and Cartman wanted this fight more than Craig or Tweek ever would.

"Did you see the way he glared at you?" Kyle pointed out, crossing his arms and furrowing his brows. "I don't know about you but he looked downright murderous. He's totally got it out for you dude, you can't just let him hurt you, you have to show him that you're not a pushover."  _I am a pushover!_  Tweek wanted to scream.  _How many times have you two watched me be pushed over in front of you?!_

"Yeah," Stan agreed, nodding fervently. "Craig looked super pissed after everything. I bet he was regretting having not hit you before. He's totally going to cream you tomorrow if you don't fight him back." Tweek shook harder. They were right,  _they were right,_  he'd pissed Craig off somehow, and he'd screwed himself over. Even if the Noirette hadn't wanted to fight, he did now. Tweek was screwed if he didn't shape up pretty quick.

It had been such a sudden shift. Before, Craig had been almost… conspiring with him. He'd been the one to first say he didn't know how to fight. What was more, Tweek could have sworn that he  _smiled_  at him before doing so. Which was impossible, Craig Tucker didn't smile. But that hadn't stopped Tweek from feeling like he was on top of the world for those few minutes.

The whole thing had been so damn  _funny,_  with Craig, the most infamous fighter in the grade if not the school, looking dead into the eyes of the people who wanted him to fight the most and saying that he'd never been in a fight before. Tweek had even laughed at it, and he didn't laugh often anymore. Craig had been standing up to the other boys and in that moment, Tweek hadn't even thought twice about the fact that he was spitting in the faces of the entire grade, he'd just thought that, with Craig, it didn't even matter.

But then it had come crashing down so fast.

_Why did I have to ruin things? It must have been my fault! OH JESUS, What if it's because he realized it was me and he really does hate me? What if he's disgusted with me and didn't want to be associated with me? That's it isn't it? He doesn't want to even look at me, I'm so disgusting._

"B-but I can fight him without hating him, right?" Tweek asked, even though he knew he shouldn't. It was so stupid, they were right, it did make him a cissy, but the fact of the matter was, he didn't hate Craig. He'd never hated the Noirette, not really. Sure he'd been pissed at him when the boy had glared at him without reason but he'd never hated him. Tweek just… couldn't.

Rolling his eyes and scoffing, Kyle threw his arms into the air again and turned away. "You are so lame, you know that, right? Craig has been nothing but a dick to you and you are just kissing his ass." Letting out a cry at that, Tweek shook his head, hating how they made it out to be so horrible.

Stan just raised his eyebrows skeptically. "I'm sorry Tweek, but Kyle is right. That is pretty lame of you. But whatever, as long as you can get angry enough, then you don't have to hate him. But you have to have fire behind what you do, otherwise, you're so boned." Turning with a shrug, Stan nudged Kyle's arm with his own before resuming walking, leaving no choice for Tweek but to follow along.

_I'm not like that, it's not like that! I just don't hate him. Why is that such a problem? Is there something wrong with me? Should I hate Craig? Am I really such a lame person for not wanting to hate him?_  Hugging his arms around himself and wishing that he had his thermos, Tweek just hung his head as the realization that whatever else happened, the only person he'd ever really hate was himself set in.

Because even after Craig had  _smiled_  at him, the moment Tweek had gone back to his usual nervous, terrified self, the Noirette had glared at him with venom in his eyes and hadn't looked at him again for the rest of the duration. Tweek knew what that meant, knew that he'd screwed up. He despised himself for it, but he couldn't do anything now, could he? Craig thought he was disgusting, probably hated him now, and Tweek couldn't do anything but fight back.

He was scared.

He wanted to see Craig smile at him again, just once.

The boys were silent for the rest of the trip, for which Tweek was grateful. He wasn't sure he'd be able to take any more interrogations. His head was already spinning, he didn't need to feel any worse about himself. No, what he needed to do was get this whole thing over with and survive it. Remembering Craig's expression when the other boys had mentioned boxing, Tweek recalled the dare in those eyes, telling him that he could do it, that he would survive.

Well, even if Craig hated him, he'd still believed that Tweek was capable of doing this. So he would damnit! He would box and he'd be good at it and he'd show Craig that he wasn't just some disgusting piece of filth, he was also every bit as dangerous as the Noirette. Maybe it was stupid, but Tweek didn't care. It wasn't as if he could sink much lower.

Reaching the place, Tweek glanced up at the sign and took a deep breath.  _Big's Gym_  it said, in big blatant letters. Nervously, he followed Kyle inside as Stan held the door for them. He kept his eyes on the floor, even as Stan locked his shoulder in a vice-like grip and nearly dragged him through a door. "Come on, they're already waiting for us. You need to change." Leaving Tweek shivering in the locker room, he vanished for a moment before Kyle walked in, holding a pair of boxing shorts.

"Well?" the boy prompted, staring at him with that unnerving look that made Tweek feel like someone was dissecting his brain.  _Oh god, Kyle is actually an alien and he wants my brain! It was never Craig, it was always Kyle!_

"AUGH OH JESUS, WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" he screamed, leaping away from that horrifying stare.

Kyle groaned. "Holy fuck, you are impossible. Strip, now." When Tweek only stared at him and twitched in fear, Kyle sighed. "You need to change so strip and put these on. God, how hard is this for you to understand?"

Hurrying to comply, not wanting to anger Kyle anymore, Tweek struggled to unbutton his shirt, his trembling fingers making the job almost impossible. Kyle just stared at him, his face growing progressively more fed up with him.  _Oh god, I'm really making him mad. Jesus, what do I do?_  Frantic, Tweek finally managed to throw off his shirt and quickly shucked his jeans, swallowing hard as the sight of his bruised legs made him feel sick.

_Come on, if you learn to fight back, then maybe Craig won't make this much worse. You've got to do something!_  Something hit him in the face and Tweek let out an involuntary, "GHA!" Realizing it was just the pair of boxer shorts, Tweek grabbed for them and pulled them on with trembling fingers.

"FINALLY!" Kyle exploded, startling Tweek into stumbling into the bench at his back. "Jesus, you are so slow."

As if summoned by his friend's loud noises, Stan pushed open the door, holding a pair of boxing gloves. They were tiny, but so were Tweek's hands, so he supposed he couldn't complain. "Here," Stan said, tossing them to Tweek who fumbled and dropped them both. "Put them on. My uncle is giving you a private lesson so you should probably hurry."

Nodding, Tweek forced himself to still enough so he could put the gloves on. They felt disgusting, he could almost imagine all the people who had worn them before him. It made him feel queasy but he pushed the feeling away, instead following Stan and Kyle out of a different door.

Inside was a small room which pretty much contained some equipment and a boxing ring. Inside the boxing ring stood two people, a rather porky man, and a stick thin one. Waving to them, Stan called, "Hey Uncle Jim!"

The porky man brightened as Kyle and Stan climbed under the ropes and into the boxing ring. Tweek was more nervous to follow, but he did anyway, not wanting to piss anyone else off anymore.  _I'm in a boxing ring, if they kill me, they could say it was an accident!_

As he stood up, still staying close to the ropes in case he had to run away, Tweek cowered and waited for something to happen. The thin man was dressed similarly to him, making Tweek wonder if he was going to be his teacher. Terrified, the boy twitched and fought to keep himself steady.

"Alrighty!" Jimbo exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "Tweek, my little nephew Stanley has asked me to teach you to fine points of boxing!" He seemed excited, Tweek wished he could say the same.

Instead, all he could do was look at the floor. There was blood on it. "RRrrrh!" Tweek exclaimed, jumping back in fear.  _Oh god, that's going to be my blood in a moment. I'm going to die. What am I even doing? This is such a bad idea, why am I even here? Let me out? I don't care what happens, I don't want to die!_

But Stan's uncle paid his fear no attention, instead choosing to announce. "You're in luck! Ned here used to be the state champion until a grenade blew his arm off." He gestured at the thin man, Ned apparently. Tweek nearly passed out.  _State champion?! Oh god, this is way too much pressure!_

Ned, who did indeed only have one arm, put his good one on his chest and said, "Mmrr, I can still kick ass." With those sunglasses and the bandana tied around his forehead, Tweek didn't doubt it. He was going to get crushed and he didn't even know what to do. He was frozen, all he could do was stand there and shake.

Grinning, Jimbo continued, "Now, Tweek, boxing is a Man sport." Tweek's eyes widened.  _Oh god, why am I here?_  "There is nothing in the world more Man than boxing. It is Man at his most Man." Tweek couldn't help but shake his head minutely, his brain rejecting the idea wholly. This wasn't for him, he wasn't a man, he was a spaz who couldn't even stand still!

"So when you spar with Ned here, just dig deep into that most Man part of you," Jimbo finished passionately. Looking over at Ned, Tweek let out a guttural scream. Kyle and Stan just shrugged, as if they still thought this was a good idea.  _OH GOD!_  "Well, enough of the lectures!" Jimbo announced.  _Wait, you're not even going to teach me!?_  "Let's get to boxing."

There was a ring of a bell and suddenly Ned leaped at Tweek. All it took was one good punch to the gut and Tweek went flying. He could physically feel the air leaving him in a whoosh as he went flying into the ropes. Hitting them, he was tossed back to the floor, his face smacking against its dirty surface as if it wanted to rub salt in the wound.

"Uugh…" he groaned, struggling to get up but to no avail.  _It hurts, everything hurts._  The bruises on his arms protested his movements angrily, yelling at him to stop moving.  _I have to get up, I have to move._

From above him, Ned hummed, "Mmm whatcha got,  _beotch?"_  Struggling more fervently, Tweek shakily got to his feet, wobbling uncertainly as his vision swam.  _Oh god, my head hurts!_

Paying no mind to his clear distress, Jimbo called, "Keep your guard up, Tweek!" But the words sounded like they were coming from underwater and Tweek couldn't even put his feet one in front of the other, much less figure out how to guard. Stan and Kyle just kept watching, immovable throughout the whole thing.  _They want me to die!_

Even so, he lifted his arms and attempted to defend against Ned but again, the man moved too quickly. He struck quick and low, delivering two punches to Tweek before the blond boy fell again, unable to even think of standing. "OW!" he yelped, though that did the pain no justice. It was the fear that really got him, the absolute fear of failing and being killed as a result.

"Damn it!" Stan cursed, as if finally realizing that Tweek wasn't going to amount to anything.

"Come on Tweek!" Kyle called, more stubborn than his friend. "He's only got one arm!"

Jimbo started to say something but Tweek couldn't hear it, his brain was too fuzzy. Picking his head up off the mat, the boy had a sudden image flash through his mind. One of Craig, sitting in the pathetic attempt at stands, his arms crossed, a familiar scowl on his face.  _Get up!_  The image said.  _You're stronger than this, get up and fight._

_I CAN'T!_  He wanted to scream at the apparition.  _I CAN'T DO ANYTHING, I'M PATHETIC AND WEAK!_  He was, he was worthless, why would anyone even think that he'd be able to fight back. All he was good for was getting kicked around. That's what people did to him now, that's what they'd do till he died.

_No,_  the image of Craig said, standing.  _You aren't worthless, you're Tweek motherfucking Tweak now show me what that fucking means. You got that!? Show me what you're really made of!_  He vanished from view, but it didn't matter, Tweek could feel the words sinking into his bones, empowering him.

_Craig, he thought I could do this, didn't he?_  Tweek thought, slowly rising to his feet, despite the pain in his stomach.  _He thought I could fight back, I've got to prove him right._  He could feel power, something that he'd felt when Craig had glared at him, coursing through him. Gritting his teeth, he took his stance again, facing Ned with a scowl.

The one-armed man pranced before him, waving his fist threateningly as he called, "Gmmmmm, whatcha got, beotch?"  _Not much maybe,_  Tweek thought, readying his own fists.  _But Craig thinks I can do it, so I can!_

From the sidelines, Jimbo yelled, "Punch him in the balls, Tweek!"  _What the fuck?_  But Tweek chose not to argue, instead, he simply lunged forward. Ducking the swing Ned took at his head, Tweek struck true and struck hard. He could almost hear Stan and Kyle wince.  _That's right, I'm not helpless!_

The man above him let out a yell of pain and fell, which only seemed to excite Jimbo more. Tweek looked up at him in surprise, waiting for him to tell him the fight was over but instead, he just said, "Atta boy! Now quick, get him again while he's down!" Unsure what else to do but follow his instructions, Tweek lunged forward once more.

He landed several more blows. One to Ned's stomach and two more to his groin. The man just groaned helplessly. Tweek pictured Craig instead, groaning on the ground and staring up at him with swollen blue eyes. With a yell, Tweek shoved the image away and hit Ned again with twice as much force, trying to push Craig out of his mind.  _No! I don't want that!_

"Ow…" Ned moaned, his body twitching in pain. Tweek took a step back, staring at the work he'd done.  _I did that, I actually fought someone and won._

"Good!" Jimbo praised, clapping. "Now kick him in the balls!" Unwilling to argue, Tweek delivered several vicious kicks to Ned's groin, each one carrying all the stress and tension he'd been building up over the past few days. With a great hack, the man at his mercy spat up blood, unable to make any more noises of protest.

"There, see?" Jimbo said, finally giving Tweek permission to stop kicking. "You've got him coughing up blood." How this was a good thing, Tweek would never know, but just like the cruel people they were, Stan and Kyle cheered.  _Oh god, I'm turning into a monster._ But then he thought of Craig and Tweek realized that as long as he showed Craig that he wasn't weak, it wouldn't matter.

Staring at the convulsing man on the floor, Tweek let out a, "GRRRRrrr!" and balled his fists, a hard look on his face. From the sidelines, he could almost hear Craig call  _See, I told you that you weren't weak. When you need to be, you're strong._

With a big grin, Jimbo announced, "Now  _that's_  boxing!"

Stan looked at Tweek and said, "You know Tweek, I might have been wrong about you. You've actually got balls."

And though it was praise, coming from Stan, it made Tweek feel sick.

_As long as Craig thinks I'm strong, as long as Craig believes it…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if that all made sense but screw it, I'm posting it.
> 
> We're getting so close to the fight, I'm super excited, wbu? :D XD


	11. The Regret Is Strong with This One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Darlings, I feel like shit today. It's bad, I'm bad, but I'm still here because come now, why not translate my own deadness into angst!
> 
> Yes, you heard that right. Angst. 
> 
> I'm not sorry.
> 
> Enjoy.

_This is stupid,_  Craig thought, his mind still dark and clouded.  _Why the fuck am I even here? Why am I listening to this asshole?_  Cartman was ahead of him, babbling on about something. A game idea he had, Craig was pretty sure. 

"And then, we'll have like the Drow Elves, which will totally suck by the way," Cartman was saying, waving his hands expressively. Because Cartman was a whole lot slower than Craig, they'd been walking far longer than necessary, forcing Craig to hear way more of this idea than he really wanted. "I'm thinking Kyle will lead them because Kyle is a dirty Jew and everyone knows that Jew magic sucks."

"Mm," Craig said, noncommittally. When Cartman turned to glare at him, Craig flipped him off and asked, tiredly, "What are you guys fighting over again?" There had been something, he was pretty sure, but he couldn't remember, considering how much of the conversation he'd spent spaced out.  _Thinking, don't lie to yourself._

Cartman groaned and spread his hands wide. "The Stick of Truth, Craig. The Stick of Truth. The most powerful object in all the land, remember? Whoever controls it controls the universe!"  _If it weren't Cartman, this might actually sound pretty cool._  "Clearly, as the Grand Wizard, I'd be the best to control it."

"Yeah, sure," Craig agreed, rolling his eyes. "And we'll throw spells at each other and attack each other with sticks, yup, sounds cool already." But his heart wasn't in it. Really, he didn't want to play a stupid game with Cartman, he didn't want to learn martial arts, he didn't want to fight Tweek!  _God, I'm a mess…_  No, he did want to fight Tweek, he'd had it with the blonde's rejection of his kindness, he was sick and tired of Tweek being too paranoid to believe that he didn't want to fight.  _If you think I want to fight, if you think I'm a monster, then I might as well be one._

"I know right, it's totally sweet," Cartman said excitedly, completely unaware of Craig's inner dialogue. "You should, like, get Clyde and Token to play too. You could all be on my side because fuck Kyle."  _Why would I want to be on your side for anything?_  But Craig didn't say this, instead, he just stared at Cartman until the shorter boy quickly said, "A-anyways, we should probably just get you ready for tomorrow's fight because  _apparently_  someone's never been in a fight before."

Craig didn't rise to it, instead, he just asked, "What kind of martial arts am I going to learn?" Not that he really cared, this was so stupid anyway.  _I wonder how Tweek is doing…_  he wondered absently as he scuffed his old sneakers against the pavement and stared at the horizon. "Is it gonna be Kung Fu or something?"

"I'm thinking Sumo, actually," Cartman told him, hands behind his back.

Craig stared at him. "What the fuck." It wasn't even a question. "Sumo? What the hell is Sumo going to do for me? Tweek's learning fucking boxing!" Which he still couldn't picture but it sure sounded a whole lot more useful than a sport literally created so fat people could throw their weight around.

"Well Craig," Cartman said, glaring at the taller male. "To be honest, Sumo isn't going to help you, but then, you already know how to fight, don't you?" Recoiling from the nasty look on Cartman's face, Craig flipped the boy off, which didn't do any good. "You were perfectly ready to fight Tweek, but you didn't, so now, I'm going to get you to learn  _something_  new because you weren't willing to just get it over with. This is your fault."

"Way to pin it all on me, asshole," Craig snarled, glaring at the boy. "You and your douchebag friends are the only reason this is happening at all. I don't give a fuck about someone who hasn't done a damn thing to me, hell, I don't even care about people who insult me. Do you know why?" He got in Cartman's face. "Because they aren't worth my time."

"Then why are you agreeing to fight Tweek at all?" Cartman spat right back, his eyes narrowed. "Go on, tell me! Tell me why you are  _wasting your time."_

Craig straightened and pulled ahead of Cartman, leaving the slower boy to struggle to keep up. "For personal reasons, reasons that have nothing to do with you and your friends." It actually felt good to say it, Craig honestly did feel better.  _See Cartman, you don't have any power over me. I'm not a toy you can wind up when you want to watch me dance._ "You'll get your fight, but not because of anything that you or any of those other assholes have made up."

Cartman growled. "Made up what? We didn't make anything up, Tweek has said all kinds of shit behind your back Craig, you have no idea." Craig tried to ignore him, but Cartman's voice was downright insidious. "Do you think that little spaz is as innocent as he looks? Oh no Craig, he hates all of us, but he especially hates you."

Spinning to face Cartman, Craig threw his hands in the air. "THEN LET HIM HATE ME!" he shouted, startling the fat boy before him. His usual monotone was gone, replaced by a furious roar. "LET HIM THINK I'M A MONSTER BECAUSE I AM." His chest ached as the image of Tweek staring at him with fear flashed through his mind. "I will fucking  _kill_  anyone who pisses me off and I don't care who they are. That includes you Cartman, so you had better remember it."

Cartman held up his hands placating while he slowly skirted around Craig, forcing him to turn to keep him in view. "Whoa, Craig, I'm on your side here. I want to see Tweek pay for whatever he did to you just as much as you want it. That's why I'm trying to help you, I'm helping you overcome whatever thing made you not kick his ass earlier." Craig took a deep breath, drawing himself back in.  _I don't care, Cartman has done nothing that I care about, remember. Pushing Tweek around is not something I fucking care about._

"I should have hit him when I had the chance," Craig muttered, finally willing to once again walk behind Cartman. "Fuck being fair, this is bullshit. Why am I learning Sumo?"

"Because Craig it'll give you that much more of an advantage," Cartman said reasonably, clearly glad that the conversation had deescalated again. "You're, like, a few pounds heavier than Tweek, plus you're taller. You're perfect for shoving him around." He said it like it was something to be proud of, like being big enough to bully people was a good thing. Craig clenched his fists but didn't strike. He was done getting upset over things that had to do with Tweek. It didn't. Fucking. Matter.

"I guess," Craig said vaguely, back to stuffing his feet. He wanted to hurt something, no matter what he did, he couldn't get Tweek out of his head. The twitchy spaz had become so deeply ingrained in there that Craig found the more he tried to push him away, the more he discovered. He just couldn't believe he'd wasted so much time on him. He'd been kind to him, practically. He'd tried to get the fight called off and given Tweek an opportunity to ready himself. But all he'd gotten was fear. It wasn't fucking fair.

_Life isn't fair, your life has never been even close to fair. So what? Tough shit, stop crying and get this over with._  Unbidden, the memory of Tweek's laugh invaded his mind and Craig's stomach clenched.  _Get out of my goddamn mind. I gave you a chance. You're nothing but a wimp who's scared of his own shadow._

Telling himself that didn't make him believe it though, and it certainly didn't make it any truer.

_What did I even want from Tweek in the first place?_ Craig wondered, unable to stop himself.  _All I ever did was stare at him. It was entertaining, right?_  Or had it been curiosity, the intense desire to know what went on behind that mane of wild blond hair. Something had captured Craig's attention and something had made it overstay its welcome. He couldn't even put his finger on it, he just didn't understand.

Tweek had always been just another kid, just another crazy person that South Park kept in its bowls. The local spaz. Go to Tweek Bro's Coffee, where you can get overpriced coffee and a chance to see the most paranoid and twitchy kid in existence. Craig hadn't been one of the people to laugh at Tweek when they were younger though, he hadn't found it appealing. He didn't give a shit that Tweek's shirts were never buttoned right and that he'd sit in the corner of the playground for all of recess, tugging on his hair and screaming. It had just been a fact of life.

He could still remember kindergarten when children's parents still cared enough to walk them to the school or drive them there. What was more, he could remember Tweek being one of the only ones who didn't have a parent accompanying him, cooing to him and holding his hand. No, he'd walked on his own, with his small backpack that had looked gigantic on him and his overly large shirts that covered his hands.

Craig remembered because his parents had never bothered to come with him either. They hadn't cared enough, and he hated them too much to ask. So he'd always see Tweek on his way to school, with that same silver thermos clutched in his hands that he carried around now. At the time, it had been as big as his head, way too big for a kid like him to be carrying to school every morning. Craig hadn't watched him as studiously as he did now, but he'd still noticed. And when the other kids had mocked Tweek for having parents that didn't love him, Craig hadn't joined in.

Tweek honestly hadn't caught his attention at all until recently. Even in third Grade when he ran through the glass doors of the front of the school, almost tearing himself to shreds. Craig remembered being one of the first ones on the scene, along with several other curious older kids. He'd been walking back from the bathroom when it had happened, Tweek racing past him in his attempt to escape whatever monster was after him. Craig had followed, for some unknown reason.

He'd watched Tweek go headfirst through the glass, watched as jagged shards tore apart his dirty green winter jacket, leaving stuffing everywhere in its wake. Craig could also remember the blood that had stained the ground as Tweek stumbled and finally collapsed under the weight of his own mental pain. His jeans had been ruined, and Craig had seen the blood coming from the rips in them.

But that hadn't triggered his interest. That had just been another day in South Park. No, Craig couldn't for the life of him figure out what it had been. Maybe it had been because the teacher bored him, or maybe that was an excuse. Maybe something else about Tweek had caught his attention. Something else about the green-eyed boy with the crazy halo of hair that almost made his height of three foot nine look like four feet. But Craig couldn't think of it, couldn't even begin to fathom what it had been.

"Craig, we're here. Stop staring into space, it's getting creepy." Shaking himself alert at the sound of Cartman's annoying voice, Craig stared up at the vaguely oriental decal of the building that proudly proclaimed itself to be The Nishimura School of Martial Arts. "Come on, I got in contact with someone to teach you," Cartman continued, pushing open the door. "I'll probably be fighting against you so yeah, you should be ready."

_Well, if there's one thing Cartman would actually be good at,_  Craig thought absently, walking through the door.  _It would be Sumo Wrestling._

Craig, on the other hand, wasn't exactly built for something like this. He wasn't scrawny- Well okay, he was a little scrawny. He'd hit a growth spurt before his weight had been able to catch up. Now standing at four foot ten, Craig wasn't the most muscular kid ever. He packed a good punch and knew how to use every bit of that height and weight to his advantage, but the fact of the matter was, Cartman probably had seventy pounds on him and that was going to make sumo wrestling with him a little irritating.

But, Craig supposed, that was the price of putting off the fight. He'd just have to pay it.

"Herro," a voice said, walking out from behind a partition. "Anda werrcome to the Nishimura Schoor ofa Martial Arts. Many I direct you in any way?" Craig just stared at the man, unsure what he was supposed to say. Thankfully, Cartman was perfectly willing to take over.

"Ah yes, my friend and I are here for a lesson in Sumo," Cartman looked over at Craig. "Is there a place where he can change?"

"Ah," the man said, bowing slightly. "Right this way." Following the man, hands stuffed in his pockets, Craig simply stared at the floor and tried to keep his mind blank. Funny, before Tweek had been a thing in his life, this would have been easy. Hell, his mind was usually blank. Now, Craig found only too many things racing around up there.

"You must remove youra clothing!" the man insisted, the moment they were in the changing room. "If you wish to learna Sumo, you must remove the barriers between yourself and being in tune with the ground beneath your feet." Rolling his eyes at the mumbo jumbo spewing out of the man's mouth, Craig stripped, hardly caring. As he did so, his lip curled at the still fading bruise that spread over his ribs on his left side.  _Whatever. If that fatass says a word, I'll punch him. Screw Sumo._

"The Master willa see you now!" The attendant told Craig once he was in nothing but his underwear. He'd elected to keep his hat on, seeing no reason to remove it. Besides, its presence made him feel a little less ridiculous, standing in nothing but his underwear.  _It's not as if I don't do this for gym class anyway._

Walking through the door he was directed to go through, Craig stared at the Asian man in a robe that stood before an abstract of a mountain sunrise. Walking forward, he stood inside the purple circle on the floor and looked up at the man, waiting.

The Master, as he was apparently called, gave him an appraising look. Craig wondered if he was thinking that the Noirette was going to be horrible at this. Perhaps he wasn't thinking anything at all. Craig didn't care either way, he just stared back, his gaze unwavering.

Giving a slight bow, the Master said, "Your friend hasa brought you to learn the ancient art ofa sumo."  _Friend, yeah, people keep calling him that but I don't think they understand just how much I hate him._  Whatever, he already thought this was stupid, what with the incense burning in the corner and the almost mockingly oriental feel of the whole thing, Craig hated it.

Pressing his hands together, the purple-robed Master sagely said, "You must learna discipline anda respect." Staring up at him skeptically, Craig flipped him off, not caring much for the idea of respecting someone dressed in a bathrobe. It didn't perturb the man in the slightest, he merely continued, "In sumo, your body must be rike a stone." He pointed to his chest, furrowing his brows as if to drive home the point. "And your mind rike a meatroaf."

_Okay, I couldn't have heard him right. Meatloaf?_  "Meatloaf?" Craig repeated, tilting his head to the side slightly in confusion.  _This is stupid, I hate this._  But it was his fault for letting it get here so he just let it go.  _I should probably just be worried about Cartman squishing me or something._

With another nod, the Master said, "The object is simpry to push opponent out of circle."  _Sounds easy enough, or it would be if I weren't up against a hamplanet._ "Is opponent ready?" the man called, turning towards the other entrance into the room.

"I'm ready!" Cartman called, before stepping out of the entrance way. He had the strangest looking pair of underwear on Craig had ever seen, almost like a thong but thicker.  _Definitely, something I could have gone without seeing._  "Ooh, I like this hair thing, this is cool!" His hair was done up in a strange doo, with chopsticks sticking out of it and everything.  _Is that a wig? What the fuck is this?_ Giving Craig a hard look, Cartman reached into the basin of ground salt beside him and patted some on his hands, as if it was supposed to look intimidating.

Walking forward, Cartman placed himself on one end of the circle. Getting the idea, Craig wordlessly moved to the other side.  _Let's just get this over with._  "Let us begin," the Master announced, putting his hands together once more before stretching them out to both of the children. Cartman stomped his feet, his eyes fixed unflinchingly on Craig. "Ready? And, th-ree!"

With a cry of, "Respect my authoritah!" Cartman ran at Craig. Seeing no reason to stay still and let himself be trampled, Craig stepped forward and met him in the middle, pushing the other boy back. It was difficult, undeniably so. Cartman was a whole lot bigger than Craig and clearly had something to prove. Pushing back with all he was worth, Craig's brows furrowed as he fought not to give ground.

He was sick and tired of Cartman, no amount of pretending was going to not make that true. If he could just beat him here, then maybe he'd feel better.

_Oh yeah, like that's going to h-help!_  Craig stumbled at that. The voice his mind had conjured up sounded like Tweek, his tone not his usual screech but angry, mocking.  _You think you can just fight your –ngh- problems away._

"Body rike a stone!" the Master called out, his tone firm. Craig tried to focus on him, tried to push away his own negative thoughts that had chosen to take the form of the one person he couldn't bear to face right now. "Mind rike a meatroaf!"

_You're a piece of shit Craig Tucker!_  Tweek yelled and suddenly Craig was seeing him, twitching there behind Cartman, his hands balled into fists. In his imagination, that bruise on his face was dark and ugly, way more obvious than it was in real life. It burned his retinas, making his whole body feel weak.  _Go on! Fight him! Beat him up like you want to do to me! Be the monster I know you are!_

Cartman turned around, choosing to try backing Craig out of the ring instead. "Dude," he was grunting, though it sounded distant and distorted as Tweek advanced on them, his wild green eyes full of loathing. "Come on, now. Come on." With a face full of Cartman's ass, Craig found himself giving ground, unable to fight both the boy before him and the image of Tweek.

_You're pathetic Craig!_  Tweek yelled at him, his twitching making the mirage of him shimmer.  _Look at you, y-you can't even talk to me, all you can do is stare! Who the fuck does that?!_  It was horrible because it was all the dark thoughts that Craig had been burying and they were coming out of the last mouth he wanted them to come out of.

"Oh, Jesus!" Craig wasn't even sure if he was talking to Cartman and his disgusting ass or Tweek and his angry words. "I can't take it!" he found himself pleading, leaning away from Tweek's glare, wishing that the image would just vanish.  _It's just the incense getting to me, that's all it is._  But that didn't keep him from yelling, "Stop!"

_I can't believe I looked up to you!_ The Tweek before him shouted, the words echoing within Craig's skull.  _I can't_ believe _I thought you were worth something! Go on Craig, g-get angry. That's all you c-can do, after all, get angry. That's the only fucking emotion you have!_  But he couldn't get angry, he could only close his eyes and beg his mind to shut up, even while Cartman's buttocks made him feel sick to his stomach.

From the sidelines, the Master called, "Fight back! Resist the ass!" But he didn't see the master, all he saw was Tweek, with his blond mane and twitching face. Craig shook his head, trying to push it away.

"How can I resist an ass so great?" Craig babbled, when all he really wanted to ask was  _how do I fight back when the enemy is my own mind?_

"It is only an ass." Cartman's ass was not just an ass but that was Craig's opinion. "You must overcome the ass with your mind."

But his mind was in shambles and he couldn't do anything to fight either it or the leering Tweek. "This ass is unlike any I've encountered, Master," he shouted, not that it did him any good.  _Please Tweek,_  he begged, staring at the boy.  _Just leave me alone._

_Just like you left me alone?_  Tweek asked, his voice low and furious.  _You're nothing Craig Tucker. You aren't strong, you aren't cool, you aren't_ anything. _You're just a scared kid, aren't you? It's pathetic,_ you're _pathetic._  Those words, coupled with the image of Tweek's bruised face were what did it. Craig lost his footing and suddenly Cartman was sending him flying. Craig only had a moment to watch the world tumble end over end before he was slamming into the wall, cracking his head against it.

As the world started to go black, the last thing he heard was Tweek's voice saying,  _I'm glad you hate me, Craig, because it gives me every right to hate you._

With that, the Noirette was lost to the blackness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a monster. 
> 
> Look, okay, it worked. Come on, it was perfect. Don't pretend it didn't make your heart clench just a little bit.
> 
> *Bounces* I'm so evil~~


	12. Here, We Are All Anemic, Anemic And So Low

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I just wanted to say that in regards to the whole Stick Of Truth arc, yes, I am changing its canonical beginning. But with good reason. Considering these kids never age, I felt the need to put things in such an order that they'd probably have the chance to happen. So yes, I will be diverging, but hey, that's what I told you I'd do from the beginning.
> 
> Also, I know, the last chapter was angsty. SOMEDAY ALL WILL BECOME CLEAR! *spins off in a cloud of fairy dust*
> 
> Thank you, everyone, who sent me well wishes, yes, I'm feeling better. Even more so now that I've finished this chapter. 
> 
> I hope you all like it!
> 
> Enjoy.

"Rrrr, mean," Tweek muttered under his breath, holding up his bare fists to the mirror and scowling. "Ack! M-mean!" He held that pose for a moment, before deflating slightly. The moment he did, his true colors showed through. Nothing but a scared boy pretending to be something he wasn't.

His hair was everywhere, though it was stuck more to his head than usual, the shower he'd just taken having momentarily tamed it. His eyes were wide, vivid, reminding him of a caged animal's. He hated them, he hated everything about his face. The way his eyebrows were too thin and the way he couldn't keep from twitching every few seconds. It was stupid, he was stupid, but in the end, he'd given up on caring.

_Mean Tweek, gotta look tough._  Screwing up his face with a fierce expression once more, Tweek yelled at his mirror, "I'm not taking any more of your –ngh- SHIT!" It felt good to say, he could almost picture saying it to Cartman, balling up his fists and punching the boy in the face.  _Wait, no, I'm fighting Craig._

_Oh, Jesus, I don't wanna fight Craig!_  And just like that, he could feel his spirits wilt again. Without care for his head or the rest of his body, Tweek tilted back on his heels and let himself fall backward. The back of his skull collided with the floor, making him see stars. His spine hurt where it was pressed against the legos he'd left scattered everywhere but he didn't bother moving. He couldn't find the motivation to. He just lay there, twitching.

_I'm really going to die tomorrow. This is it. Oh god, why did I do this? Why did I ever agree to fight him!?_  "AUGH!" Jerking upright, Tweek buried his fingers in his hair and pulled hard. He  _hated_  this. Hated that he'd let himself get pushed to this point by people like Cartman and Stan and Kyle. Even after they'd been cruel to him and hurt him for years, he'd let them turn him against the one person who had never made fun of him and had never hurt him.

_But he hates you, don't forget that he despises you. You saw the look in his eyes, he wants to kill you!_  Moaning, Tweek's eyes rolled back in his head as he twitched and shivered. Sometimes, he felt like he could see right through Craig, other times, it felt like he couldn't read him at all. To be perfectly honest, Tweek didn't know where he was right now, whether he understood or not.

_Do you really think I hate you?_  Looking over at his bed, Tweek found himself staring at the same image of Craig that he'd seen earlier while he'd fought. Well, it wasn't like he wasn't crazy. He saw things all the time, things he knew were fake but still listened to sometimes. Now he found himself staring up at a version of the Noirette that his fucked up brain had conjured for him.

"I don't know," He said aloud, hardly caring that he was talking to himself. He did it enough anyway, it wasn't like it mattered anymore. "Y-you act so  _nice_  one moment and then you glare at me and you're really scary and mean and I don't understand. You d-don't make any –ghn- sense!" Tugging at his hair, Tweek pulled his legs to his chest so he could bury his face in his knees.

_You don't make sense either Tweek,_  the image of Craig pointed out, his voice still perfectly clear, given the fact that it was echoing around within Tweek's own mind.  _One moment, you trust me, the next, you fucking run._  Squeezing his eyes shut, Tweek shook his head. The problem was, it was true, he did run, he did get scared easily. Even when he should be entirely sure of himself and Craig, he found himself doubting it all.

"B-but you're not my friend," Tweek pointed out miserably. "You're –RRrrr- th-the person who stares at me all the time! Why do you do that?!" The apparition didn't answer, and it made Tweek's stomach clench.  _Even my fucked up subconscious doesn't know the answer to that one._ It was the question that was at the center of it all and it made him crazy, not knowing.  _I JUST WANT HIM TO MAKE SENSE!_

_I DON'T MAKE SENSE!_  Jerking his head up, Tweek stared with wide eyes at the image of Craig that was now standing over him. All that height and power and intensity that the real Craig possessed condensed into a faded memory. The boy before him had his fists clenched, a scowl replacing his deadpan.  _You need to get the fuck over it. Right now, you need to trust that maybe, I don't hate you._

Staring up at Mental Craig, Tweek wished that it were true, he desperately wanted to believe that Craig didn't hate him.  _But he does, I saw that look on his face. He's furious with me because I'm a screw-up and a freak. He doesn't hang out with freaks, he doesn't talk to freaks! Every time I remind him just how fucked up I am he runs away!_  "You're not even real!" he snapped, glaring at the image of Craig before him.

Bending down, Craig's apparition said,  _Then get talking to the real one. Do you want to prove you're not a fucking weakling? Then tomorrow punch me in the face! Do you want to know if I hate you? Then fucking_ ask, _don't just assume you know._  Craig looked so serious, Tweek couldn't help but feel something stir within himself. It didn't matter that he was imagining this, he could actually picture Craig saying it.

Suddenly, the door behind him opened and Tweek heard his dad say, "Hey Son, I have coffee for you." Turning, Tweek found his father smiling blankly at him, in that way he did that made Tweek realize just how broken his parents were. "It's fresh," his father continued, smiling wider. "Fresh, like the morning dew on the new leaves of spring. Fresh, like a mountain spring cascading through-"

Jumping to his feet, Tweek let out an involuntary noise before yelping, "Th-thanks Dad, I get it!" Grabbing the mug out of his father's hands, Tweek took a deep sip of the scalding hot liquid and felt better instantly as the warmth settled in his gut.

"Okay son, have a good night." His father closed the door, leaving Tweek all alone with Craig's image, which still hadn't faded away. Turning to face him, Tweek slowly padded over to his bed, careful not to twitch too hard and spill the coffee down his front. He still hadn't bothered to put clothing on past his boxers.  _Ugh, I should get dressed before I freeze and get a cold and then die or something._

Sitting down, Tweek set the mug down and stared at the image of Craig. Crossing his arms, Craig's face smoothed out from the scowl into the usual deadpan that Tweek was used to. "W-what?" Tweek asked, feeling self-conscious for the first time since Craig's image had appeared. It was weird, kind of like how Craig always stared at him in real life. Shivering, Tweek crossed his arms over his frankly bruised torso and curled in on himself. "What do you want?!"

_You know Tweek,_  Craig said, his voice soft, even.  _I'm just as fucked up as you are. Maybe not in the same ways, but I'm a fucking wreck._  Tweek's eyes widened because he'd never once thought that of Craig so why would his image say something like that. Twitching, Tweek shook his head, unwilling to believe it.

"N-no, you've got it all together. I d-don't!" Tweek insisted, biting his lip.  _Craig knows what he's doing, Craig knows how the world works. Nothing fazes him, nothing stresses him out. He stands up to Cartman and his friends and he doesn't take shit from anyone! I take shit from everyone because I'm too scared to stand up to anyone!_  "H-how can you say that?!"

But Craig didn't answer, he just shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at Tweek with those blue eyes that were only a shadow of the intensity that came from the real Craig. After a moment of this, he simply shrugged and said,  _Why don't you ask him._  Before he could ask the apparition what the hell he meant by that, Tweek heard the squeak of his window and let out a scream.

"AUGH IT'S THE ALIENS!" he yelled, only to get a familiar laugh in response.  _Oh god, it's him. Why?_

"Aww Tweekers," Kenny said, gracefully sliding in through the now open window. "I'm hurt, really I am. You think I'm an alien? I mean I have been told I'm out of this world but I don't think they meant it  _quite_ that literally." With a yelp, Tweek grabbed his blankets and covered himself up, twitching.

"W-What the heck are you doing!?" he demanded, even though he already sort of knew the answer. This wasn't the first time this had happened after all. Kenny, among his other annoying habits, tended to pop up when Tweek least expected him. That included his room, of course. "Go away!" Kenny just closed the window behind him and grinned at Tweek, his stance easy.

"Calm down Tweeky, you wouldn't want your parents to think there's a real monster up here," he said, winking playfully. Tweek attempted to glare at Kenny but found that his face wouldn't work that way. He was too busy still freaking out about the fact that the boy had once again invaded his room through the window and what if he'd fallen and died?! What if he'd gotten caught.  _ACK It's too much pressure!_

"What do want?" Tweek asked, grabbing for a shirt that was at the end of his bed and quickly trying to struggle into it while avoiding Kenny's eyes. The boy only snickered, as if Tweek's embarrassment was simply funny for him. Twitching hard, Tweek grabbed for his coffee and took a sip of it, needing to calm down.

"I dunno Tweek, I guess I'm just bored." Flopping out onto the end of Tweek's bed, Kenny grinned at the ceiling. He'd always had this carefree attitude around him that Tweek sort of envied. It didn't matter to Kenny that his family was dirt poor or that he was made fun of for it, he just kept existing, kept right on smiling even when it seemed like he had nothing to be happy about.  _Gah, he stresses me out!_

And it wasn't just that, though that was plenty in Tweek's mind. No, there was also something strange about Kenny, something that made Tweek's delusions really act up. Because sometimes, it seemed like Kenny died, yet the next day, he was back, good as new. No one else ever seemed to notice it, so Tweek knew he was imaging it, but still, it freaked him out.

"S-so why would you come here?" Tweek demanded, yelping as Kenny rolled himself up in Tweek's blankets like he lived there.  _Oh, Jesus, he's going to get everything dirty and I'm going to get some horrible disease. Kenny is going to kill me with his weird diseases and he's not even going to care! No one will!_ "I'm n-not even that interesting!"

"Nonsense," Kenny insisted, raising an eyebrow and looking up at Tweek mischievously from his cocoon of blankets that he'd formed. "You, Tweeky my boy, are currently the most interesting thing since sliced bread. You and your little fight with Craig has got everyone's tongues going crazy. Don't you pretend that you don't know what's going on."

"Everyone!" Tweek squawked, his eyes widening. His coffee sloshed, ending up splattering his covers with brown spots. "OH JESUS, THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Trembling, Tweek shook his head wildly, getting his hair in his face. "W-Why do they even care?"  _I don't even want this thing to be happening, why does everyone have to know about it?!_

"Because Tweekers, you and Craig are simply too much fun to watch!" Kenny insisted, propping his head up on his hands and elbows. "Look at you two, this thing has turned into such a  _shitshow,_  I can hardly stand it! Oh man, it's just too much fun." With a laugh, he brushed one gloved hand through his hair and tilted his head upward. "This is all one big movie and you Tweek, you're the star of the show."

"I DON'T EVEN WANT TO FIGHT HIM!" Tweek yelled, unable to stop himself.  _Oh god, why did I just tell him that? He's going to tell everyone, I'm screwed! Everyone's going to know I'm a wimp and Craig is going to hate me even more than he probably already does because I can't even stand up for myself! Stan and Kyle will kill me!_  As Tweek's hands twitched upwards towards his hair, Kenny grabbed the mug out of his shaking grasp before it could spill.

Letting out a laugh as he took a sip of Tweek's coffee, clearly not caring about all the second-hand germs that he was probably getting that could kill him, Kenny cooed, "Tweek, do you think that matters? Look at me in the eyes and tell me that whether you or Craig wanting to fight matters even a little bit." When Tweek just yanked on his hair and let out a soft moan of terror, Kenny laughed. "See, you can't, because no one actually gives a shit what you or Craig really want!"

"B-But Craig wants to fight me!" Tweek squeaked, still staring at Kenny in fear.  _Why doesn't anyone care that I don't want to fight?! Is this all some sort of twisted game for them? Oh god, it is, isn't it?_  "He's so angry at me, he clearly –ngh!- wants to hurt me!"

But Kenny's eyes just widened and he laughed harder. "You are just too  _precious_  Tweeky, man, I can't get enough of you." Shaking his head, Kenny's eyes lit up and he asked, "Tweek, do you honestly think that Craig, stoic little pebble that he is, wants to fight you? Even after everything that's happened? Come  _on!"_

"But doesn't he?" Tweek insisted, releasing his hair as confusion filled him. Kenny, while sounding about a thousand times more annoying, was echoing what Craig's apparition had said. That Craig didn't hate him.  _No, he does, right?_  "He hates me so he w-wants to fight me, that's what this is all about!"

Stifling his laughter with another sip of Tweek's coffee, Kenny said, "Oh boy Tweek, you know  _nothing_  about Craig if you think he actually wants to fight you. That boy has been trying to avoid this fight more than you have and trust me, that's a whole fucking lot! Do you have any  _idea_  how much he's been torturing himself over this? You just have to look at him to see it, come on Tweek, don't pretend you don't see it."

"I d-don't!" Tweek insisted, frustrated. Twitching to the side, the blond demanded, "If he doesn't hate me then –grrr- what does he think of me!?"

All Kenny did was shrug, his eyes dancing. "Far be it from me to read Craig's mind Tweekers, but I know that he doesn't hate you. I'm pretty sure he hates Cartman to be honest, and one can only wonder why…" Trailing off dramatically, Kenny reached up a hand and dragged his thumb over the fading bruise on Tweek's cheek. Flinching away from Kenny's touch, Tweek clenched his teeth.

Raising an eyebrow, Kenny sat up on Tweek's bed and balanced the mug of coffee on one of his knees. "Want me to tell you a story Tweek?" he asked amiably, his tone mischievous.

"N-no," Tweek muttered, huffing. "I d-don't want to hear your stupid story, Kenny."

"Nonsense," Kenny insisted, ignoring Tweek's protestations. "You'll want to hear this story. It's from all the way back in kindergarten, it's a good one!" Biting his lip as if to hide his smirk, Kenny said, "It's about Craig, come on, don't you want to hear it?"

Though he didn't want to admit his curiosity, Tweek couldn't help but cock his head forward at that.  _About Craig? What about Craig?_ He really did want to know, especially because he didn't understand the boy in the slightest and anything that could help him do so would be welcome.  _Stupid Kenny, knowing exactly what to do to get me to listen._

"I knew it," Kenny said smugly, taking another sip of coffee before shivering. "Jesus Tweekers, your parents  _trying_  to give you a heart attack?" When Tweek didn't answer, Kenny shrugged. "Oh well, back to the story. Do you remember kindergarten? Remember how our parents still gave a shit about us?"  _No,_ Tweek thought, picking at the bases of his nails. They always looked fucked up, considering how much he bit and messed with them.  _Because my parents didn't care. They were too busy to remember I existed, weren't they?_

"I can see it on your face Tweeky, you remember." Kenny smiled, though it didn't seem like a very happy smile. "Everyone had at least one parent who would take them to school because that's what you did, right? You showed all the other parents that you loved your children even if you could give less of a shit. Except there were some people whose parents didn't even care about that." His eyes gleamed. "You know Tweekers, I don't think my parents even knew I was going to kindergarten, my brother didn't, so they didn't think that I would. Whatever."

Suddenly, Tweek felt guilty. He knew that he  _didn't_  have it that bad, his parents were fine, right? There were other people who had it worse, Kenny for one. He shouldn't feel so bad about himself.  _I'm so selfish and disgusting. Why do I only ever think about myself? God, I'm pathetic._  He wanted to say something in sympathy, but all he did was stare and twitch.

Kenny didn't care, he just kept talking, his eyes distant. "But there were a few other children whose parents didn't give a shit. You know who they were Tweek, you were one of them, weren't you?" Tweek stared down at his hands at that, his face screwed up. He was right of course, but Tweek couldn't stand him bringing it up. It made him feel even more worthless than he already was.

"Do you remember who the other person was?" Kenny asked, his tone soft and almost lilting. Tweek's eyes widened and he whipped his head up because he  _knew,_  he understood what Kenny was trying to say.  _The only other person was-_  "Craig," Kenny finished, before letting his eyes wander as if what he was saying hardly mattered.

"Now, far be it for me to tell people what they're parents think of them but I dunno Tweeky," he glanced back at Tweek, the expression on his face prodding at the blond almost as effectively as his words. "You and Craig, you've got some things in common. And it makes you wonder, doesn't it, why he'd care so much about one little  _bruise_  when no one else gives a shit."

Tweek's eyes widened. He wasn't sure he quite understood what Kenny was trying to say, but one thing seemed to be there, one he could articulate. "H-he wants to protect me?" It seemed so stupid, he was going to fight Craig tomorrow, and that went against any idea of protecting him! But Kenny almost made sense, in some crazy way, Tweek could see it.

But Kenny only shrugged and finished off Tweek's coffee. "Craig Fucker- Sorry,  _Tucker,_  is all kinds of fucked up Tweekers, but I'll tell you one thing, no matter how vicious you two get tomorrow, he doesn't actually hate you. If anything, he's unhealthily obsessed with you." Stretching out his legs, Kenny swung them over the side of Tweek's bed and slipped to the floor. "But hey, that's just my interpretation of the whole thing."

"So I'll really have to fight him tomorrow?" Tweek asked, his eyes worried and wide. He didn't want to, he could feel his heartrate kicking up a notch just at the thought. It terrified him and it made him miserable, he just wanted a way out. Except Kenny just nodded gravely, confirming his worst fears.

"I'm afraid so Tweek. Trust me, he'll be coming at you twice as hard as you're expecting and you had best better be hitting back with all of that crazy twitchy rage you've got bottled up inside of you. Who knows," Kenny strolled back to the window and threw it open again. "Maybe it'll be good for the two of you to let it out. Just don't try to avoid it any more, otherwise, you'll both just keep getting sicker at sicker."

Before Tweek could ask what that was supposed to mean, Kenny was gone. A moment later, the window slammed shut behind him, making Tweek jump.

_Go on Tweek._  Tweek turned and found Craig leaning against the opposite wall, hands in his pockets, eyes trained on the ground.  _Give me hell tomorrow._ Then he was gone as well, leaving Tweek entirely alone.

_Oh god…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, poor Craig.
> 
> So, whatcha think? Excited about the fight? I am! Also, what do you think about what Kenny told Tweek? Kinda changes things, doesn't it?
> 
> Whatever, see you tomorrow!


	13. Long Overdue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is people, the thing you've all been waiting for. The fight.
> 
> I'm sorry I'm not responding to comments, as soon as I'm done with work, I'll respond to all of them.
> 
> I really hope you like it *bounces up and down nervously* It's not as long as I was hoping but I think it's alright. I don't know, I might have screwed it all up!
> 
> *worry* *worry*
> 
> Enjoy.

 

Craig was cold.

Probably in an attempt to humiliate him in that childish way that Cartman specialized in, Craig was stripped down to his underwear. But that wasn't really what was making him cold, no, even he could understand that much.

No, the cold was coming from inside, spreading from his chest to his arms and legs, right down to the tips of his fingers and toes. Every inch of him felt numb, dead. He felt dead, standing there next to Cartman, waiting for Tweek to show up. He was early, he hadn't been able to sit still.

Physically, he felt on edge. Last night, he hadn't slept. Instead, he'd stared at the ceiling as his thoughts spiraled over and over again. Always around Tweek, always making him more frustrated and miserable. That seemed to be a theme these last few days, misery and frustration. Today, he'd get those feelings out by fighting Tweek. It probably wasn't healthy, hell, it probably wasn't completely sane but he didn't give a shit anymore.

Cartman didn't seem to care what Craig was doing, he was just talking on his phone to Kenny, which honestly couldn't have interested the Noirette less. "No, look, Kenny, you need to be here, alright? This is going to be fucking sweet dude, you can't just miss it." A moment's pause. "Why the hell are you in Shop Class right now, get out here Kenny."

Craig ignored Cartman with practiced ease. Instead of paying attention to him, he focused on loosening the tense muscles in his body. Just because he felt like a neurotic mess didn't mean he had to look like it. Fuck that, he was in control of himself, he wasn't like Tweek.

Tweek, the same twitchy creature who singlehandedly had captured his interest and held it in a vice for the past few months. Tweek, who drank too much coffee and screamed about flesh-eating aliens. Tweek, who pulled his hair and looked at Craig with wild, hopeful green eyes. Tweek, who screwed with Craig's head and turned everything he knew on its head.

Tweek, who he was going to fight.

Craig's fists clenched, then unclenched.

"You know what, fuck you, Kenny." Finally hanging up, Cartman muttered, "God, what an asshole." Craig didn't respond, he just fought the urge to pull his chullo down over his forehead. He had to stay still, he had to prove to himself that he was in control and that none of this mattered. But no matter what he did, his flat expression didn't feel right, it felt too open and upset.

"You know what to do, right Craig?" Cartman asked, looking the boy over. "Use what you learned yesterday to overpower him, but don't hesitate to punch him too." He grinned at that, too excited about it. "This is gonna be cool, man, you are going to kick Tweek's ass."

"Don't be so sure about that fatass." Looking up, Craig found Stan and Kyle walking towards them. But he could have cared less about those two, no his eyes were focused on the boy trailing behind them.

They'd put a stupid robe on him. It was red and gold, no doubt warmer than what Craig was wearing. His head was bowed, his steps were shuffling. Craig could see the boxing gloves on his hands, looking almost comically big compared to the boy wearing them, even though they were no doubt the smallest ones they'd managed to find him. Wisps of blond hair escaped from under the hood pulled up over his face. Even his twitching was subdued.

Craig could feel his heart rate kick up a notch. For a moment, he wanted to push the other boys out of the way and tell Tweek that he didn't have to fight, that they could just go home, fuck everyone else. But then he remembered the fear yesterday, all the attempts he'd made to reach out a hand only to be turned away and his uncertainty turned to further frustration.  _It's not fair._

As they drew level, Stan roughly grabbed Tweek's shoulder and shoved him forward. Tweek stumbled, his shoes catching on the rough ground. In the back of Craig's head, something reared up and demanded he push Stan away from Tweek, but it was too soft to breach the wall of frustrated anger in the forefront of his mind.

"Oh, I'm so scared," Cartman mocked, laughing at the other two boys. Craig tuned them out, he didn't care. He just stared at Tweek, waiting.

Very slowly, Tweek raised his head. The first thing that struck Craig was how empty Tweek looked, how dead. Then the boy met his eyes, dim green locking him in a vice. Suddenly, they blazed to life, startling Craig. Pressing his mouth into a hard line, Tweek lifted his chin and stared at Craig with a fierce determination that took his breath away.

Without hesitation, he glared right back. _Where was this yesterday? Where was this when I fucking needed to see it? Why now?_

Remembering the mental image of Tweek that had haunted him yesterday, Craig felt yet more anger show its ugly head.  _He sees a monster, doesn't he? Fuck him, I'll show him a fucking monster._ Even as Kyle, Stan, and Cartman continued to argue, Craig stared at Tweek, unwilling to back down.

His uncertainty was gone, he was going to fucking kill this blond spaz.

Suddenly, there was a swell of noise as kids started pouring into the playground, all headed for them. They were talking about the fight, Craig could dimly make that out. He could hear someone calling something about programs, he was pretty sure it was Clyde. He'd have to punch him for that later, or maybe not.

Even as the crowd of kids, now grown to include people from the grades above and below theirs, loosely circled them, Craig didn't flinch. He was ready for this and so was Tweek. Everything else was simply a distraction.

"Okay," Stan called suddenly, quieting the kids around them somewhat. He looked around, making sure everyone was listening. "The time has finally come." Craig shifted his feet apart slightly, Tweek took a breath and shivered. Everyone's eyes were on them, this was it, this was the fight that they'd been building up to for days.

Moving closer, Cartman said to Craig, "You know what to do, you have got this in the bag." Craig nodded once, his attention more focused on Tweek.

As Stan pulled the robe off the boy, Tweek started twitching more violently. The determination was still there, but Craig could see the sheer energy held in those wiry limbs as the boy stood there. All he was left with were a pair of boxing shorts, red and yellow like his robe had been. His entire body was covered in bruises, yellow, black and blue. Craig's jaw clenched as Tweek twitched to one side and his mouth dropped into a shadow of the boy the Noirette knew only too well. Scared, reluctant, upset.

Leaning close, Kyle said, "Remember, Tweek: punch hard, punch low." It was good advice, Craig had to admit, but he wasn't scared. He was too numb. That cold that had spread through him froze his blood and left him feeling dead inside, matching the look that had been on Tweek's face when he approached.

"Hrrr," Tweek squeaked, pulling up his fists and readying them. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, Craig couldn't tell how much of it was him twitching and how much of it was nervous energy.  _Stop postponing it, let us at each other._

"This is when you gotta get mean, Tweek." Kyle insisted, his mouth a hard line. Craig hated the sight with an irrational force. Hated seeing Tweek being backed by people like Stan and Kyle, but he was too pissed overall to give those thoughts any credence.

"Ack!" Tweek twitched hard to the side before hardening his expression, shaking his head back and forth like a dog as if trying to rid his mind of unwanted thoughts. "Mean, ghrrr," he repeated, trembling.

As if to put on a show, Cartman got closer to Craig again and said in what he probably thought sounded like a mystic voice, "The spirit of the dragon is in your hands."  _I don't need the spirit of a dragon, shut up before I hurt you._  But he didn't say that, he just clenched his fists at his sides and took a more sure stance. "Hurshar kashurshar. Hurlong churshar. All right?" Cartman said.

"Okay," Craig said absently, hardly listening to Cartman's attempts at showing off.  _He's just trying to get his friend's attention, all I need to focus on in Tweek._  It was easy, hadn't he always been focusing on Tweek after all, hadn't he always stared at the boy?  _God, I wish I could have had a chance to just fucking understand._  He shoved that thought into the back of his mind.  _Focus._

Clearly unimpressed with his response, Cartman growled, "Now,  _listen_  to me! Hurlong kashurshar! All right?!"  _Stop yelling in my ear and let me at Tweek._  "And seriously: Hurlong kepur shung kwong!"

Needing to get him off of him, Craig quickly said, "Okay, okay!" Finally, Cartman stepped back, giving Craig room.

Once again, all was silent. Stepping forward, Craig set his face in a scowl. Tweek stepped up to meet him, his wide eyes narrowing slightly. It was like the rest of the world ceased to exist, all Craig could think about was the blond boy standing before him. He was so much smaller than the Noirette, but Craig would never have dared suggest that he was weak. Right now, he looked like a lion.

"Ghrrr." The sound escaped Tweek's mouth just as they always did, but it didn't sound like one of his usual spastic noises, it sounded like a growl. Maybe Craig was losing it, but the world slowed down, leaving both Tweek and him in a bubble.  _Done running, done pretending._

Loosening his posture, steadying himself, Craig cracked his neck, releasing the pressure there. The sound seemed to echo, but maybe he was going crazy. In the end, he and Tweek hadn't been able to get away from this, they were going to fight. All that pressure that had been building up, all the tension, it was about to be released. It didn't matter that the other boys had set this whole thing up, Craig was fighting for his own reasons.

He was fighting because he was sick of Tweek's paranoia. He was fighting because he was sick of his own confusion. He was fighting because everything around him was pushing him to do so. He was fighting because…

In that moment, he realized that in the end, he didn't really know the answer to that question.

Tweek let out another growl and twitched to the right.

Craig lifted his middle finger and tilted his head, lifting his chin in a silent dare.  _Come on you twitchy fuck, show me what you've got._

Walking to their side, Stan held his hands out to both of them. "You ready Tweek?" The blond nodded once before his expression fell into a glare. "You ready Craig?" Resisting the urge to flip Stan off too, Craig nodded once. Stepping back, Stan yelled, "Let's get it on!"

For a moment neither of them moved, then suddenly Tweek let out a roar and flew forward. Like that, the fight began. Everything else vanished from the Noirette's head in that moment. Craig couldn't even track his movements the blond struck so fast. Bringing up his arms, Craig managed to block the hit to his face before throwing Tweek off of him.

Skidding back across the ground, Tweek let out a yell of, "You're such an asshole!" before attacking again. This time he aimed for Craig's unprotected side, his fists coming at him with all the strength Craig had been seeing in flashes these past few days. His fist connected but it was the words that really hit hard.

With a growl, Craig tackled the boy to the ground, pinning him down. "You're too paranoid to see past your own delusions!" he shot back, leaning back to avoid the strikes Tweek attempted to land on his face. Drawing his own fist back, Craig struck Tweek's sternum, knocking some of the air out of him.

Looking up at him with a furious, hurt expression, Tweek spat, "Maybe if you didn't look at me like you wanted to kill me, I wouldn't think you did!" Yanking his arm free, Tweek landed a punch on Craig's jaw that sent him tumbling off of him. Regaining his balance a moment later, Craig spat out the blood that had pooled in his mouth from his slit cheek.

"You have no idea what's running through my head!" Craig yelled back. He wasn't even sure if Tweek could hear him, the cheering of the people around them was too loud. Without care, he plowed into Tweek again, using his elbow to knock him aside. Twisting out of his way, Tweek aimed a punch at Craig's ribs that he stumbled back to avoid.

Around them, Craig could vaguely make out people yelling their names, cheering them on. He couldn't be sure though, not with the blood rushing in his ears. Grabbing Tweek, Craig managed to get a knee into his stomach, forcing the air out of the blonde's lungs. As if his attack had left no lasting effect, Tweek used their proximity to kick out Craig's knees.

"Of course I don't know what's going through your head," Tweek gasped out, even as their fighting led them away from where they'd originally been gathered. "No one knows what goes through your head!" It didn't matter, the crowd moved with them, ravenous in their desire to see more blood. Craig was only too happy to oblige, Tweek's words only egging him on.

"Well, maybe you should have fucking asked!" Tackling Tweek once more, Craig sent them rolling over the cold ground, attempting to land blows all the while. Tweek hit him in the face several more times, one punch definitely blacking his eye. He could care less, he just kept on hitting back, furious. Tweek's words were killing him from the inside out, but he pressed that pain back, choosing to focus on the physical pain being dealt to him.

"Maybe you shouldn't have stared at me so much!" Tweek spat, managing to get to his feet quick enough to land a kick to Craig's ribs. Rolling away from him, Craig leaped to his feet and launched himself at Tweek. They were outside of the building they held home ec in by now, Craig only spared half a second to register how far they'd gone before his attention was back on Tweek.

"Maybe you should have spoken to me!" Craig retorted, his fist knocking Tweek's head back, cracking his neck. The kids around him kept screaming encouragements, but Craig couldn't hear them and if Tweek could, he paid them no attention. Instead, the blond screwed up his face and jumped at Craig.

"I couldn't talk to you!" Tweek panted, his voice cracking as he said it. "I didn't know how."

"Well I didn't know what to say to you either," Craig said, breathing heavily. Going in to push Tweek off his feet, Craig found himself stopping as what Tweek had just said registered. At the same moment, Tweek's strike to Craig's gut froze and his forward momentum carried them together.

Without even thinking it through, Craig leaned down and rested his forehead against Tweek's and softly said, soft enough that only the blond could hear, "You've always been the exception."

In that moment, as he panted heavily and pressed back against Craig, Tweek's eyes widened and he stared at the boy. In the silence, the noises around them filtered through Craig's head.

"Go Tweek! Kick his ass!" That was Kyle, but his voice sounded distorted, Craig's focus instantly snapping to the way Tweek's breath hitched for a moment, almost as if Craig had broken something in him. "Get him!"

"Come on Tweek," Stan yelled, joining in with his friend. "You got him!" But Tweek wasn't listening, his face was too busy crumpling into a hurt, furious and frustrated look that took Craig by surprise.

"I don't want to be the exception, Craig," Tweek hissed out through his breathless gulps of air. "I wanted you to treat me like a human! I wanted you to treat me like you did everyone else!"

Though Kyle spoke over him, Craig still said, in a pained growl, "How can I fucking treat you like everyone else when just seeing that bruise on your face makes me want to murder Cartman?"

Eyes widening, Tweek asked, "What?"

Craig tried to repeat what he had said, wanted to say it and just get it out. But all he could do was spit out a choked, "Fuck you!"

Narrowing his eyes, Tweek let out a "GGHAAAH!" before launching himself at Craig and punching him in the mouth. Letting his anger surge up once more, Craig's fist connected with Tweek's cheek and they were back to fighting. Locked together in furious combat, they both tumbled into the slide, which under their combined rage crumbled.

As it came down with an unholy crash, Craig just barely avoided getting crushed. Rolling out of the way of the support bars, Craig searched the cloud of dust that had been kicked up for Tweek. Spotting his black and blue torso, Craig leaped up and tackled him once more.

They kept getting closer to the shop class building, but neither of them cared. The crowd just kept cheering, throwing in their own jeers and calls as they did so. Craig's only focus was on Tweek. "I hate you!" he was yelling, his words lost to the screams of the other kids. "I hate you and your paranoia and your damn face and your damn  _eyes."_

"I hate how emotionless you are, I just want you to smile for once!" With a feral yell, Tweek leaped into Craig, throwing them both upwards. There was the sound of shattering glass as the back of Craig's head hit a window and then went through it. He could see as shards cut Tweek's face and arms and feel them do the same to him. Remembering third grade, Craig growled and twisted them so he landed on Tweek instead of the other way around.

"What the-?" Craig heard someone yell as he traded blow for blow with Tweek. The boy wiggled out from under him and sent him flying into one of the machines with a kick to the gut. Spitting blood from between his teeth, Craig physically lifted Tweek and threw him against one of the table saws.

"Don't screw aROUND!" someone yelled before the sound cut out as Tweek's fist hit Craig's ear, momentarily deafening him. Movements becoming almost frantic, Craig pushed Tweek into a stool which he vaguely registered Kenny was standing on. Hitting it, Tweek was instantly back on his feet and whipping his fist around into Craig's ribs.

"Stop screwin' aROUND!" Noticing that the boy was getting less precise and just shakier, Craig used it to his advantage to send him backing into the Jigsaw behind them. With a growl that sounded more like Tweek's usual screams, the boy retaliated and slammed Craig back into the second Jigsaw cutter.

Chaos reigned around them as both machines fell, sending everyone else around them into a panic. Locking Tweek in a hold, Craig drove them both into a tool cart, which fell over as well. With him in that hold, Craig spat into the boy's ear, "Do you see what I am now Tweek, do you see what a monster I fucking am."

Breaking free, Tweek stumbled back and drew in a deep breath. "You aren't a monster, if you are, then I'm one too." Limbs shaking, Tweek pulled back his fist and landed a punch right across Craig's jaw. The moment he did, his eyes suddenly focused on something behind Craig, a fearful expression on his face.

In Tweek's moment of weakness, Craig dredged up the last of his strength and body slammed Tweek into the wall behind them. The blonde's skull connected with the plaster and Craig could see his green eyes roll back into his skull as consciousness fled him. Stumbling backward, swaying as his own grasp on reality weakened, Craig stared at what he'd done, at the boy who he'd just fought.

_If you're a monster, then I'm one too._  As Tweek's last words flitted through Craig's head, the Noirette felt his knees give way. There wasn't any strength left in him to hold him up. Falling, Craig had the time to think,  _Does he really mean that?_  before he was tilting forward and his head cracked against the concrete floor, finally knocking him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that happened.
> 
> They really needed that, didn't they?


	14. You Know Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhh!!!!! I'm so glad y'all liked the fight! To be honest I was terrified I'd screwed up but you all seemed to like it.
> 
> Now we just need to focus on the recovery ~
> 
> Up next, the stick of truth!!!!
> 
> But first-
> 
> Enjoy.

_“Nurse Johnson, please report to room E1.”_

The vent in the room kept making a squeaking sound. It was very faint, but after listening to it for the past two hours, Tweek was very sure it was there. He knew that it was probably nothing but a loose screw, but he kept picturing mutant rats, scurrying around, their squeaks echoing down the vast network of ducts as they converged on this hospital room in particular.

He gave a convulsive twitch. His entire body protested the motion as the stitches in his cheek pulled and his entire left side ached. “Ngh-” Everything hurt, Tweek couldn’t even move. He could only stare straight ahead and pray for unconsciousness once more.

To his left, he could hear the slightly labored breathing of the boy who had put him in this condition. Closing his eyes, Tweek held back a whimper. Neither of them had spoken since waking up, they’d just laid here and done as the nurses checking on them commanded. The silence in the room was thick tense.

It made sense of course, after the fight, after what they’d said to each other, Tweek couldn’t even imagine what he was supposed to say. He wanted to say it hadn’t been a conscious decision, letting all his aggravations and his problems pour out like that, but he’d been the one to open his mouth first and as far as he knew, he’d been the last to speak.

Really, he should probably be panicking more, but his body hurt too much to even contemplate doing something like that. Even his usual twitching had subsided, replaced with just a near constant trembling that only made the pain in his body worse. _I wish I had my coffee…_ No, what he really wanted to do was forget all the stupid stuff he’d said to Craig. He’d called the boy all sorts of names, he’d complained about how he never spoke or smiled, but what made him feel like saying to hell with how much he hurt and running away was the way he’d told Craig that he wasn’t a monster.

_You know that’s exactly what I needed to hear._

“Grrh.” Looking up, Tweek stared at the shimmering image of Craig sitting on the grate at the end of his bed. His legs were so long they were stretched out over a third of the bed, even though he was sitting above the blond. He had his arms crossed and his head tilted to the side slightly. The worst part was the bruises.

When Tweek had been fighting Craig, that apparition of the boy had been there too, constantly cheering him on. Telling him to hit harder, yell louder, let everything out. But every time Tweek’s fist connected with Craig’s body, Mental Craig had showed the injury, flinched in pain. Even so, he’d kept up his encouragement till the end, right up until he’d passed out before Tweek, a smile on his bloody lips.

And even though he blond knew it was all in his head, it still made his stomach twist horribly. Because he’d been the one to cause those injuries, and even though his mental version of Craig wasn’t real, the Craig sitting in the bed beside him was and those soft hisses of pain every time the Noirette shifted weren’t just Tweek’s imagination.

Tightening his jaw before wincing in pain, the pretend Craig sitting on the end of Tweek’s bed muttered, _Stop it, you’re just as bruised as I am._ Tweek couldn’t have cared less. He wanted to scream at the ceiling, he wanted to beg for Craig’s forgiveness, he wanted to break down into tears even. He didn’t want to be told that it was fine because he’d gotten hit in return.

 _But I hurt you- Him!_ Tweek thought. Shifting his head, Tweek let out a soft moan as his abused muscles tried to convince him to stop. _I never wanted to hurt him, not really! I just- I just wanted him to believe that I wasn’t weak. I was just upset at him because he kept driving me crazy. Now we’re both in the hospital!_

 _And who knocked you out?_ Taking a deep breath and hissing in pain as he did so, the image of Craig fixed Tweek with a predictably deadpan expression. _You’ve already put it out there in the open Tweek, it’s not going to get any worse._

Tweek shook his head mutely, even though it made his head pound to do so. _He- He thinks I hate him. Craig thinks I hate him, I can’t change that. We’re in the hospital! After fighting each other!_ His mental image of Craig had been trying to convince him to say something for a while now, but he couldn’t. Tweek knew, somehow, that once he talked to Craig, his illusion of the boy would finally go back to the dark recesses of his fucked up brain where it belonged, but he couldn’t do it.

 _Fuck, can’t you just remember what was said during the damn fight?_ Mental Craig demanded, furrowing his brows. _You aren’t a wimp Tweek, you proved that already, now don’t be a wimp about the._ Pointing to Craig, the apparition asked, _What did I tell you?_

Tweek swallowed hard. _That I was the exception._

 _Damn straight._ Dropping his arm, the image of Craig wavered. _So maybe believe me for once._

Before Tweek could decide whether to finally talk to Craig or not, the door to their hospital room opened and the blond twitched hard enough to upset the cuts down his back. Because following the nurse was a group of people from their grade, led by Cartman, Stan and Kyle. Tweek also noticed Butters, Wendy, and Clyde among the gathered students. _Oh Jesus! Why are they here!?_

Kenny wasn’t there, but then again, Tweek was pretty sure he and Craig had pushed the boy into the Jigsaw cutter. _Or did I imagine that?_

Though he couldn’t twist his neck to look at him, Tweek could tell Craig had stiffed upon seeing the boys. Shivering hard, feeling his usual fear filling him, Tweek stared at the boys, waiting for the inevitable. Smiling, the nurse left, shutting the door behind her.

As the awkward silence stretched, Stan finally said, “Hey, you guys.” Neither Tweek nor Craig responded. Shuffling a little, Stan asked, “How are you feeling?” _HOW ARE WE FEELING?!_ Tweek wanted to scream. His hands twitched over the sheets but he forced himself not to pull on his hair, for fear of ripping out the stitches. _YOU JUST MADE US FIGHT! I am covered in bruises and scrapes and I’m in so much pain and you ask how we’re feeling!?_

“AUGH!” he half-screamed, jerking hard to one side, sending his body back into spasms of pain. As his gut ached, threatening to leave him once again breathless, Tweek tried to relax, even as his body twitched harder. _Why are they here! They’re just stressing me out! I can’t-_

“Ugh,” Craig muttered, his voice sounding hoarse. At the sound of those deep tones, Tweek could feel his incessant shivering slow somewhat and his heat rate return to normal beat. It confused him, because moments before Craig had been the one stressing him out, but now, he calmed the blond, just by being there. It took him back to their first attempt at fighting, and the way Craig had smiled at him before turning and saying to hell with the rest of the world.

Frowning, Stan shifted and said, “Well, uh…” Taking a deep breath, Stan looked between the two of them and admitted, “We just came by because we have something to tell you.” Tweek’s mind instantly leaped to the worst possible scenarios. _OH GOD! I’ve been suspended for fighting Craig and now we’re going to get expelled and my parents are going to put me in the back room mixing coffee blends forever!! Or maybe this is all in my head and no one is real and I actually killed Craig!_

As Stan put a hand on his shoulder, Kyle frowned slightly and said, “Yeah.” Tweek wanted to scream at them to just get over with it but he couldn’t make his throat work. “See, we got you to fight just ‘cause we wanted to see who was the toughest.” At those words, Tweek could feel his blood freeze. For a moment, he thought he was going to be overwhelmed by the news, but then he realized that this was honestly confirming his suspicions.

Moving closer to Stan, probably without even realizing he was doing it, Kyle continued, “We made up all that stuff we said to get you guys mad at each other.” Tweek shivered. _Craig never said a word about me that was bad, he never said a word._ All those times he’d gotten upset, it had been for nothing. Except in the end, had he really fought because of any of that stuff? No, in the end, he’d fought for his own reasons.

And if he was honest with himself, he felt better because of it.

From beside him, Craig shifted. He didn’t even need to look over, Tweek knew what the boy was doing. He could just picture him, middle finger raised despite the bruises on his knuckles and the stitches in his arms. It made him feel better, even though that relief was irrational. _Fuck it, I’m already irrational the rest of the time, right?_

“Yes,” Cartman said gravely, looking so _apologetic_ it was sickening. Tweek wanted nothing more than to hurt the boy, but at the same time, he felt that age old fear filling him. This was the boy that had caused him pain for years, who was he to think he could fight back now any better than he’d been able to before?

“You can flip us off, Craig,” the boy continued. “We deserve that.” _Why are you even here?! GET OUT!_ But all he could do was twitch violently at Cartman’s frustrating words. “We just came by to apologize.” Putting a hand to his heart while he turned his eyes down dramatically, the boy said, “We feel so bad.”

Tweek could feel the lies, it left him with spiders crawling over him, driving him mad. “Boy, do we ever,” Kyle agreed fervently, not an ounce of regret in those cold emerald eyes. Shivering, Tweek shut his eyes and swallowed back the shriek tempting to escape him. _You don’t regret a thing! You’d do it again in a second, stop pretending like you wouldn’t!! I HATE IT I HATE IT MAKE IT STOP!_

With a heavy sigh, Stan finished, “So, I guess we’ll be going now.” Tweek could feel Craig’s irritation from where he lay and he was glad that the other boys were leaving. He didn’t want the tall Noirette anymore upset than he already probably was.  “And we’ll just have to live with the knowledge that…” He grimaced and turned away, along with the rest of the gathered kids. “You’re both kind of sissies.”

“WHAT!?” Tweek squeaked, even as his bruised throat begged him to stop trying to talk. Craig echoed his sentiment, though his flat voice sounded almost incredulous. _Sissies? But we just fought each other!! We’re in the hospital!! JESUS WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ?! JUST LEAVE US ALONE!!!_

Rotating back to face them, Stan raised his eyebrows as if confused with their reaction. “Well, I mean, that’s what was on the news.” _OH GOD, WHAT WAS ON THE NEWS!?_ Forgetting his stitches, Tweek’s hands jerked to his head and he tugged on his hair hard, causing the lump on the back of his head that had knocked him out to scream in pain.

In a voice that held just enough anger to be dangerous, Craig slowly asked, “What was on the news?” Tweek wondered where that rage was directed and prayed it wasn’t him. He couldn’t take any more of Craig’s anger, not now. Pulling harder, he let out a moan of terror that the other kids ignored.

With a face that was too flippant to be believable, Cartman said, “Oh, you didn’t see it?” When neither of them responded, he said, almost gleefully, “Oh. Tweek’s family was on the news saying what a wuss you are, Craig.” Tweek’s eyes flew open at that, the bruise above his eyebrow unable to keep him from staring at the boys in fear. _OH GOD, SHE WOULDN’T DO THAT!!! NO!!_ Biting his already split lip, Tweek whimpered.

“Huh?” Craig asked, sounding disbelieving. _STOP LYING TO HIM!!! Just shut up and go away, don’t make this any worse. I’m tired of fighting, I’m tired of Craig being upset with me, don’t lie to him any more!_ Shaking, Tweek stared fearfully at the boys as Kyle nodded wisely.

“Yeah, and then Craig’s family came on and said Tweek was the wuss.” For once, Tweek didn’t even bother contemplating if they were telling the truth, he knew from the crawling over his skin that Kyle was lying. Craig’s cry of protest helped, letting Tweek know that he didn’t believe it either. “And then Craig’s mom punched Tweek’s mom in the hooters.”

“GAH!” Sick of them and their bullshit, Tweek struggled to get up despite his entire body telling him to stop. Taking his fingers out of his hair so he could ball them into fists, Tweek yelled in the general direction of the boys come to torment them, “You son of a bitch!” Then his spine spasmed with pain and he fell back to the bed with a whimper.

Groaning, Craig bit out, “I’m gonna kick your ass.” He didn’t even bother to move though, he just lay there, no doubt seeing how Tweek’s attempt at movement had turned out and not wanting a repeat.

From the door however, the boy’s seemed to be excited. There were several cheers and Stan called, “Come on, Tweek!” before realizing that they weren’t actually going to move. _They still want us to fight? Fuck them!_

With a grunt, Cartman shrugged. “This is lame you guys, let’s do something else.” Without bothering to so much as say goodbye, the crowd left the hospital room, abandoning Tweek and Craig to another stretch of silence, this one definitely more pain filled than the last.

Tweek desperately wanted to just fall back into unconsciousness. The painkillers he’d been administered weren’t doing quite enough and with Craig there, no doubt thinking over what the other boys had just said, Tweek wasn’t sure he’d be able to take it. He was so sick of the silence and the pain, he wanted it to all be over. Twitching, he let out a soft cry of fear.

From the other side of the room, Craig shifted before letting out a stuttered cry of, “Sh-iitt, god!” Tweek twitched hard and half expected Craig to fall back into silence, but then, the unexpected happened. Something Tweek wouldn’t have seen coming in a million years.

Craig spoke to him.

“I know they made it all up, okay?”

Unable to help himself from jumping at the sound of the boy addressing him and unable to make sense of the words while his mind was in the process of short-circuiting, Tweek gasped out, “GAH! M-made what up!?” _Jesus, oh god, what is he talking about? WHY IS HE TALKING TO ME?! I BEAT HIM UP HE HATES ME!!_ Even as his throat tried to keep him from speaking, Tweek cried, “Oh god, what did I do?!”

“All that stuff about you saying I ate shit,” Craig said, as if Tweek wasn’t currently panicking about the situation. His twitching rattled the bed slightly. _Wait, so that’s what they told him?!_  “I know they were lying.” At the words, Tweek found something inside him release. _That’s what he’s talking about._

“Y-you never called me a chicken!” Tweek blurted out. It came out unmodulated, he couldn’t even begin to stop the words. Craig’s own admission had loosened something in him. Feeling some of the fear drain away, Tweek continued, “They said you did b-but I know you’d never do something like that dude.”

Craig was silent for a moment, as if contemplating Tweek’s words. The blond shook slightly, but he still felt better. He didn’t dare risk a glance at Craig, lest his injuries hurt more, but Tweek could just see the flat, unconcerned expression that would be buried under the bumps and bruises. _Is that it? Is that all he wanted to say?!_

“And you know that my mom would never punch your mom, right?” Craig started again, his voice softer than before. He sounded almost troubled, Tweek clenched his fists. _Why are you upset? I don’t get it, stop confusing me like this!!_  “I mean, she can be mean,” Craig hurried to say, his voice still halting. “But she’d probably punch me first.”

_Oh…_

Swallowing hard, unsure what he was even supposed to say to that, Tweek finally breathed, “I –ngh- Never thought that she d-did.” At those words, the tension in the air lifted, Tweek could almost feel it breaking. Managing a shaky breath, despite the pain it caused him, Tweek pushed out, “Y-you know, I didn’t fight you cause of anything they said.”

Craig snorted. Not quite a laugh, more rueful than anything. “Yeah, I had my own reasons too. They were just being assholes. They’re always assholes.” Tweek couldn’t stop the odd giggle that escaped him. He hated the way he laughed, it sounded stupid, but Craig didn’t mock him. Tentatively, careful not to hit anything that was severely bruised, Tweek twisted so he could see Craig.

His face was black and blue, but Tweek had been expecting that. The nurses had given him his hat back at some point, now it was squashed on his head haphazardly, likely more comforting in its presence than anything else. But what Tweek focused on was the small, barely there smile that pulled at the boy’s lips.

In later years, Tweek would deny this moment. It would be one of those things that he buried down in the back of his mind so he wouldn’t have to deal with it. Even as he thought it at that moment, he was in the process of denying it. In the end though it still happened.

At the sight of that smile, Tweek’s heart leaped and a single thought crossed his mind. _I want to always be the reason for that smile._

“Ggh- I’m sorry for being so paranoid and not b-believing that you didn’t want to hurt me,” Tweek said in a rush, his jaw clenching even as the words escaped. Turning his head, Craig faced him, and suddenly, those blue eyes were fixed on him with all that power and intensity they’d always had.

“I’m sorry for being such an asshole,” Craig muttered, his eyebrows knitting together in the middle slightly. Tweek wondered if he was just imagining it, but he could have sworn he saw the words _I’m sorry I’m such a monster,_ flit through Craig’s gaze.

Mouth pulling up into a slight smile, even though it hurt, Tweek twitched and said, “I-it’s not your fault.” And it wasn’t, and he believed it with every ounce of his being. Even his crazy bits believed it, all those demons that made him doubt himself, they all knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Craig Tucker wasn’t a monster. And they knew that he never would be.

A silence followed, one where the Noirette simply stared at him, as if trying to understand what he was seeing. Under his gaze, Tweek twitched, but he didn’t move. He just stared into Craig’s eyes and tried to convey without words all that he’d finally understood. Letting out a huff of air, Craig put his head down and was about to say something else when he suddenly jerked and let out a hiss of pain. “Ah-hh~ Fuck, Tweek, you hit hard.”

Another laugh escaped Tweek’s mouth at that. Even as his lungs and bruised ribs protested him, Tweek managed, “Come on, y-you –ngh- you hit harder! What if you ruptured something?!” _Wait, oh god, what if he did rupture something!! WHAT IF I’M GOING TO DIE!!_ Suddenly filling with panic, Tweek screeched, “OH JESUS! W-what if you burst one of my kidneys and they didn’t find it and now I’m gonna die!?!”

Craig scoffed in the face of Tweek’s mortal terror. “I didn’t hurt you that bad dude, you aren’t going to die.” _WHAT IF I DO!?! What if something punctured a lung and the doctors didn’t find it and now I’m bleeding out internally as we speak? WHAT IF THE ALIENS SMELL MY FEAR AND COME TO EAT ME!?_

“ _GAH!”_ Tweek yelled, his hands reaching up to tug on his hair. _“_ YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!” Suddenly, his back seized up and Tweek was prevented from further movement as he whimpered and tried to relax the pained muscle. He wasn’t in any condition to be panicking, really, he needed to stop.

“You’ll be fine,” Craig told him calmly.

In the midst of the pain, Tweek found that to be perfectly honest, he knew that Craig was right. And in that moment, he was unbelievably glad that the Noirette was there.

“So…” Craig said, breaking the silence. “Have you ever watched Red Racer?”

In his twitchy and spastic way, Tweek answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheee~
> 
> So if you haven't noticed, I've been kind of flirting with the idea of adding Stan x Kyle into the mix. I'm not sure if I want to work towards making it a thing but if you guys want me too, I'd love to try my hand at it!!
> 
> Now, who's ready to see Cartman get his ass handed to him.


	15. Settling Down, Setting Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *future Q floats in from the sky*
> 
> Hello again~ I have returned! What do you think? That's one plot arc done, you've _survived_. *pats your head* well done, there's much more where that came from.
> 
> But before you leave, are you interested in becoming one with the [dark side](https://discord.gg/eramcuT)? We don't have cookies, but we do have Creek and lots of it.
> 
> Now I must go again~ *future Q flies away*
> 
> Original A/N: *Bounces up and down in excitement* I DID IT!!! 
> 
> CARTMAN, EAT IT! YOU ARE A FUCKING ASS TO EVERYONE!!
> 
> Sorry, sorry, I'm calm.
> 
> By popular demand, Stan/Kyle will become a thing. It will never be a focus but you'll see little things in the background.
> 
> But enough of me~
> 
> Enjoy.

The moment Craig walked into school a week after fighting Tweek, he was struck by the way people looked at him.

Before, people had largely ignored him, unless they got in his way, then they were pretty quick to move. Now, everywhere he went people stared at him with awe. Word of the fight he’d been in had spread, clearly. Even if they hadn’t been there, people had heard what had happened and Craig wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

He’d spent the last week in the hospital with Tweek, after all.

Token found him first, looking him up and down slowly before whistling under his breath and muttering, “Man, you look like you went through a blender.” Craig raised an eyebrow at that, but he was distinctly glad to see the kid after so long being cooped up.

Prodding at his lip with his tongue, which had only just healed from Tweek’s sucker punch to the mouth, Craig muttered, “You should have seen the other guy.” As he’d expected, Token snorted.

“Jesus man, do you have any idea what’s been going on? You and Tweek avoided suspension by this much.” He demonstrated with his fingers before shaking his head. “And I know what he looked like after you were through with him, I was there. You two really laid into each other.” Craig nodded absently, though privately he thought that the worst of it had been the words Tweek had thrown at him.

“I was pissed,” Craig muttered, continuing his trek towards his locker, now with Token in tow. “Tweek was pissed. It worked out in the end.” And it had, for better or for worse. He almost wanted to smile as he recalled the past week at the hospital, talking with Tweek till their voices gave out or until they fell asleep. Sure, it had been fucking painful to make it to that point, but Craig would have said it was worth it in a heartbeat.

“If you can call that working it out,” Token said, rolling his eyes. “The whole school’s been talking about it you know? Stan’s gang is still pissed that there wasn’t a definitive winner. Apparently, they had a bet going, now they’re trying to figure out who wins. It’s pathetic.” Craig let him talk, content to just zone out.

His mind, inevitably perhaps, drifted to Tweek. The blond had been released at the same time as him, having largely healed up. Since then, they hadn’t spoken and Craig wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do about it. _What even are we? Friends? Back to just being silent?_ It all made his head hurt. After thrashing each other, he didn’t want the progress they’d made to be lost. If it was progress. If he wasn’t imagining things…

After the boys had left them alone and Craig had first breached the silence, Tweek and he had ended up getting to know each other fairly well. He’d gotten to show Tweek Red Racer and had then watched it with him whenever it was on. The best part was that Tweek had loved it as well, which gave Craig a warm feeling. It probably shouldn’t, but the fact that Tweek liked something he did made Craig happy.

Tweek, conversely, had filled the hours of silence with long rants about various conspiracies he had. He’d been only too eager to tell Craig about the Underpants Gnomes, a group of undergarment thieves who tormented him every night. His stories were so vivid, he often managed to leave Craig in a state of suspended reality with them.

It was funny, at first, he hadn’t been too eager to share, but after Craig had showed interest, he’d opened right up. The Noirette had a feeling that people before had made fun of his ideas, mocked him for believing in such crazy stuff. Craig never did, he just sat there eating the bad hospital food while Tweek drew masterpieces with his stuttered words and wild hand motions.

There were the aliens naturally, Tweek was obsessed with the idea that aliens were coming for him or for other people. Sometimes, the aliens ate flesh, sometimes they controlled people’s brains, but always, Tweek was sure they were real. Craig never told him they weren’t, he just reassured the boy that they wouldn’t come for him here, not while the Noirette was around to keep them away. Strangely enough, this worked to calm the boy down somewhat.

In that week, Craig had learned that there were also monsters under Tweek’s bed, and if he didn’t sleep with the covers entirely over him, they’d grab his legs and drag him down there to be eaten. In his closet, there was an ax murderer or possibly a cannibal and if Tweek didn’t sleep facing the closet, they would come out and murder him. There were a whole host of things that Tweek believed haunted him, but Craig hadn’t been freaked out by this, no, he’d found himself fascinated.

In the moments where Tweek was silent, Craig had talked about stuff too. Stuff he’d never told Token or Clyde, knowing they’d make fun of him for it. He’d talked about his obsession with space and about how he was going to become an astronaut someday. The  best part was that Tweek had believed him at once, nodding his head and listening with wide, green eyes. When they’d gotten better enough to get out of bed, Craig had dragged Tweek up at night and pulled him over to the window where he’d pointed out the constellations he could see from where they were. It had been far too fun.

They’d never really talked about their parents or their homes. Craig could tell Tweek was careful to skirt the issue but he didn’t mind, because he was skirting it as well. It hadn’t mattered, he’d still been able to talk to the blond for as long as they could keep their eyes open. Craig wasn’t used to being happy, he wasn’t used to actually enjoying something. But for the first time in his life, Craig had found something that he genuinely liked.

That thing was talking to Tweek Tweak.

Of course, now they were back at school and Craig didn’t know how that was supposed to work. It wasn’t like they were confined to the same room together anymore, no, they could do what they pleased. That being said, he desperately wanted to think that Tweek would still want to talk to him. Having such powerful emotions towards one thing was disconcerting for Craig, but he took it in stride as best he could.

After everything that had happened, he felt like he had the right.

“-but then again, I’ve only overheard them talking about playing it so I’m not sure if it’s really a thing. Clyde would probably know better.” Finally stopping his stream of dialogue, Token raised his eyebrow at Craig. “You weren’t listening to a word of that, were you?”

“Nope,” Craig answered, blandly, swinging his backpack off his shoulder as he got closer to his locker. _I was thinking about Tweek,_ he didn’t say. _I was wondering if maybe, just maybe, I’ve made a new friend._

Reaching his locker, Craig was about to open it when a cry of, “CRRRAAAAAAIG!” distracted him. From across the hallway, Clyde ran at him, his arms wide and a happy expression on his face. A bubbling knot of resentment built up in the back of Craig’s throat at the sight. “CRAIG I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH YOU’RE ALIVE!”

There really was no conscious thought that went into the next few moments. The second that Clyde was in range, Craig drew back his fist and clocked him across the jaw. Going over with a cry of surprise and pain, the boy landed sprawled out on the linoleum floor, a hurt and shocked expression on his face. At the sight, the Noirette couldn’t help but feel infinitely better. Shaking his hand, checking to make sure he hadn’t reopened any stitches, Craig stared down at his friend, expression still a flat deadpan.

“What was that for?!” Clyde cried the moment he’d found his voice, his hand flying up to his jaw. Token just stared between the two of them, a disbelieving expression on his face.

“Never fucking get involved in my fights again, Clyde,” Craig said, flipping him off. Having said his piece, he turned back to his locker and opened it. He hadn’t realized he’d been pissed until he saw Clyde, but now, he felt that much lighter. _That’ll teach him not to cheer on something that makes me miserable._

From behind him, Token snorted as he helped the whimpering Clyde to his feet. “You kinda deserved that one dude,” he admitted, patting Clyde’s shoulder in sympathy.  And like that, the natural order was restored.

“I’m glad you’re out dude,” Clyde said, still rubbing his jaw which would no doubt show a lovely bruise tomorrow. “You were in there for forever! How are you?” Back to being overexcited as always, Clyde confided, “They still haven’t fixed the window of shop class.” Remembering how Tweek had sent them both crashing through it, Craig had to admit, he wasn’t really surprised.

Putting his backpack away, Craig happened to glance to his left. Instantly, whatever Token and Clyde were saying faded into a strange sort of buzz because _oh shit._ He’d always sort of _known_ that his locker was just down the hall, but until that moment, Craig had never quite registered that it was so close. No matter how much he’d stared at him, he’d never been more aware of that blond halo and crazy eyes than at that moment.

Tweek still had stitches in his face. One on his cheek, one beside his mouth, two more right above his right eye. On his trembling hands, Craig could see the stitches there as well. After spending a week in the hospital with the boy, he knew only too well that those stitches traveled up his arms as well. He looked just like Craig remembered, the only difference being the slight roughness around the edges. In that second, Craig froze, unsure what the hell he was supposed to do.

This was the moment of truth, he understood. Knew it as clearly as he ever could have. Craig could either go back to what he was doing and forget about the blond, let the last week be water under the bridge, or he could take that step. It would be easy to just let things be, but as Craig thought back to those nights spent with only the light of the muted TV to illuminate the room while they whispered about the most wild of things, he knew that he couldn’t just let it go.

Taking a deep breath, Craig tugged at his chullo before stuffing his hands in his pockets and slowly walking over to Tweek.

The kid didn’t notice him at first, Craig just stood there for a moment, watching as he scrambled in his locker for what he needed before tugging his thermos out of his backpack. Calming his heart, which was going far too fast for a normal conversation, Craig looked coolly at Tweek and spoke.

“Hey.”

“JESUS!” Fumbling his thermos, Tweek spun to face Craig and instantly dropped the heavy container. As it clattered against the floor, the boy stared up at him, his eyes wide, his expression too fucking open to be legal. Craig could see it all, the fear, the wonder, the hope, the memories that they both now shared. It all played across that ivory face, right there for Craig to see.

And always, those green eyes, vivid and full of life, staring into his.

Very slowly, Craig bent down. Never breaking eye contact with Tweek, the Noirette picked up the silver thermos before straightening. Just like he’d always wanted to do, Craig proffered the container, handing it to Tweek gently. And when the frightened boy almost dropped it again, Craig pressed his large hands over Tweek’s tiny ones, steadying his grip on the thermos.

Fear disappearing from those eyes, Tweek twitched to one side and breathed, “Hey.”

In that moment, the wall between them broke. Craig could almost physically feel it give way as Tweek tentatively tried for a smile and the taller boy snorted softly. “How’s your head?” Craig asked, his voice flat, yet somehow conveying some small amount of concern. He remembered how bad the lump on the back of Tweek’s head had been and he couldn’t help but worry slightly.

Letting out one of those perfect squeaky laughs, a sound the boy had been making more and more of late, Tweek said, “So much better man, you couldn’t keep me d-down for long.” Shivering in that way of his, Tweek’s hand suddenly flew up and he reached up as far as possible so he could poke the bruise on Craig’s forehead that was half-hidden by his hat. “H-how a- Ngh- How are you doing?”

Raising an eyebrow, Craig said, “I’ll survive.” He was still worried about the marks covering Tweek, but he felt better now, less full of needless energy. For a moment they were silent, as if both of them were trying to figure out what they were supposed to do next, then Craig found himself blurting out, “Wanna come over after school to watch Red Racer?”

Blinking in surprise, Tweek nibbled at his lip jerkily before saying, in a small voice, “You really want me to come over?” Even as he said it, Craig could watch the boy’s head fill up with his usual nervous wonderings, no doubt terrified that he was going to screw something up. The moment he saw it, Craig found himself frowning. “Oh god!” Tweek suddenly squeaked out, looking scared. “I- I don’t think I can IT’S TOO MUCH PRES-”

“Dude, I’m not going to eat you,” Craig told him, cutting off his frantic tirade. Smoothing out his face, he waited for Tweek’s face to relax slightly before saying, “I just want to hang out with you. Unless you have something else.”

“Gah! N-no!” Tweek instantly pushed out, fumbling with the top of his thermos before taking several large sips of coffee. “I mean yes! Yes, I would like to hang out!” Looking up at Craig, Tweek smiled again tentatively and the Noirette had the sudden urge to ruffle the boy’s crazy blond hair.

Discarding the idea, Craig nodded and said, “Then I guess I’ll see you in class.” He gave Tweek a look at that. His expression didn’t really change but inside he thought, _After all, I always see you. I’m always looking._

As if he understood, Tweek nodded twitchily and squeaked, “Yeah man, I’ll see you!” Suddenly very aware of Token and Clyde’s eyes on him, Craig took a deep breath and purposefully turned around, walking back to them. Sure enough, the boys were staring at him, Clyde with a slack-jawed expression on his face.

“You’re friends with him!?” Clyde burst out, the moment Craig was within earshot. Looking between Token and Craig rapidly, the boy asked, “When did that happen??” Craig gave him a skeptical look, while Token just turned towards the Noirette and raised an eyebrow.

“Yes Craig, you never mentioned you and Tweek were friends,” he said coolly, not the least bit judgmental. Craig considered glaring at him for a moment, then scrapped the idea. He was right, Craig hadn’t told either of them, but then, he could be friends with whoever he damn well pleased. _Even if I’m not sure if we’re technically friends…_

So he decided to say that. “We aren’t friends yet,” Craig said, his tone flat as he walked past them and headed for his classroom. “You two should be happy, I stopped staring at him.”

Like the mother hen he could sometimes be, Token instantly said, “Yes Craig, I’m very proud of you for talking to him normally. I hope that this continues, I’d be disappointed if you want back to just staring at him.”

Clyde on the other hand, still didn’t seem to get it. “BUT YOU JUST FOUGHT HIM!” he exclaimed loudly, shaking his head as if expecting to wake up from a dream. “Why are you talking to him, you hate Tweek!”

“Clyde,” Craig said, voice flat. “Kindly stop being such a dick for once. I can be friends with whoever I damn well please.” He could understand his friend’s confusion, but it still annoyed him mildly. _It’s Tweek, there’s nothing wrong with him. It’s not like I’ve gone crazy or something._

“B-but you’re friends with us!” Clyde blubbered, his tone growing winy. Rolling his eyes, Craig turned around and raised an eyebrow. “You can’t just leave us for him!” the boy wailed, looking up at the taller boy tearfully. It’s not fair!!”

“Shut up asshole, I can be friends with both of you. Now stop crying for god’s sake.” Considering the conversation to be over, Craig faced forwards once more and walked away, leaving Token to deal with Clyde’s antics. _They’ll catch up in a moment._ All in all though, Craig was feeling pretty damn good. He’d talked to his friends, he’d gotten everything out in the open, and Tweek was talking to him. There wasn’t much that could ruin his mood.

“Oh look, here comes the fag.” At the sound of that voice, Craig felt something spark in him, the fire of resentment and pure anger. _No, ignore him, it’s not worth it._ Without looking to the side, Craig kept walking.

“What Craig, too big of a sissy to talk to me?” Cartman mocked. “Hey look, look! Here come’s Craig the fag.” As other kids started gathering, drawn by the fat boy’s taunts, Craig finally stopped. In his pockets, his hands clenched into tight fists. _Don’t look at him, don’t give into him, he’s just pissed because he lost._ “What Tucker, gonna go find your boyfriend and cry on his shoulder cause your feelings are hurt?”

 _I’m not a fucking fag. I’m not gay and neither is Tweek. Shut the fuck up you asshole, I’m fucking sick and tired of you and your friends tormenting me._ But in the end, that wasn’t what pissed Craig off the most. No, all he saw in his mind was a picture of that bruise on Tweek’s face, the clear imprint of the locker grate there for all to see. _I’m fucking fed up with you hurting Tweek._

“Shut up, fatass,” Craig said, his voice soft. Strangely enough, he was almost calm in his anger. It took everything in him to keep calm, but he somehow managed. _You’ve pushed me into enough fights, I’m not letting you do it anymore._

Around him, a few kids tittered. Only encouraged by Craig’s response, Cartman called, “Oh, so you think you can tell me what to do, Craig? You couldn’t even beat one twitchy freak, Craig. What do you have to say about that? You’re so weak.” _I’m fine, I’m not going to do something I regret._ Except he wouldn’t regret it would he?

“I bet you and Tweek spent that whole week in the hospital doing disgusting gay stuff, didn’t you?” Unable to stop himself, Craig found himself turning on his heels to face Cartman. The boy was standing there, Stan and Kyle next to him. He was laughing, a nasty expression on his fat face. Inside Craig’s head was chaos but he didn’t move, he just stared at him. “You should be glad I taught him how to get on his knees so well, Craig, I totally helped you out.”

It wasn’t even the insults against him, no, it was the stuff Cartman kept saying about Tweek. Lifting his chin, Craig softly repeated, “I said, shut up, _fatass.”_

“Oooh, I’m so scared,” Cartman crooned, laughing. “Oooh, you’re so scary Craig.” The other kids were laughing now, joining in on tormenting him. Suddenly, Craig had an image of Tweek, how often this had been the small blond when they were younger, and he could feel his blood boil. Everything else around them started to blur as Craig’s vision narrowed until all he could see was Cartman.

“You should have seen him!” Cartman cawed, his eyes alight with that malice that Craig hated so much. “He just loves to get on all fours Craig, I bet he bent right over for you, didn’t he?” _Shut up Cartman, just shut your mouth._ “Didn’t he just Craig!”

Craig’s mind simply cut out. He hardly even registered what he was doing because he moved so fast. Before Cartman could even begin to realize what was happening, Craig grabbed the boy by the collar and slammed him into the lockers at his back hard, the action leaving a resounding _clang_ rattle through the hallways. Even though Cartman was far bigger than him, Craig didn’t even falter as he dragged the boy back and slammed his head against the metal behind him once more.

“Fucking shut your damn mouth.” Craig said. It wasn’t even a yell. His expression hadn’t changed. He felt cold, too furious to even show it. All he wanted to do was hurt Cartman for all of the shit that he’d done over the past few days. Drawing back his fist, Craig delivered a fierce punch to Cartman’s gut, driving the air from his lungs and leaving him retching in pain.

“That’s for fucking making a bet about me and Tweek,” he spat in the boy’s face. The kids around them were screaming, all of them backing up in horror. Craig couldn’t even be bothered to pay attention to them. He just dragged his leg back and viciously kicked Cartman in the groin, letting loose all that fury that he’d mistakenly directed at Tweek during their fight. “That,” he said, still in that flat, emotionless voice. “Is for making Tweek and I fight.”

Cartman’s eyes were watering, he might have even been crying. He couldn’t even cry out the pain seemed so great. But Craig didn’t give a shit because it felt so damn _good_ to see Cartman like this. Dragging his fist back once more, he suddenly shouted, “And this is for hurting Tweek for years!” He could feel the stitches in his arm tear as his fist connected with Cartman’s nose. The snap echoed throughout the whole hallway.

 _He’s not yours to hurt, he’s not yours to push around, he’s not yours to touch! He’s mine!! He’s my fucking friend and he’s my fucking spaz._ As the fury suddenly came pouring out of him in a rush of fire, an almost feral sound escaped his throat as Craig drew back his fist once more to strike. He didn’t care, he just wanted to hurt Cartman like he’d hurt Tweek for years and years.

Before he could strike, a screech cut through the anger clouding his head. “NO! AUGH!!! STOP!!!” Abruptly, something caught his arm, keeping him from striking again. Whipping his head around, ready to curse out whoever was trying to stop him, Craig found Tweek holding on to him, a terrified and wild look in those bright green eyes.

Unable to quite comprehend what he was saying, Craig tried to pull his arm free but Tweek had it in a vice-like grip. _Stop, I’m doing this for you!_ “Stop Craig –Gng- Please! Stop!” Through the haze in his mind, Craig heard a soft groan come from the boy he held aloft.

Anger surging up, Craig snapped, “HE HURT YOU!” It was all that anger he’d been feeling for days now manifesting itself and he couldn’t even begin to control it. “HE FUCKING-”

“I KNOW!” Tweek screamed right back. As some of that haze cleared, Craig realized how badly Tweek was shaking, far worse than his usual twitching. He was also breathing heavily, as if he’d raced over there. “He’s not worth it, Craig, please.” Another tug on his arm. “Let him go, y-you’ve made your point.”

As quickly as it had come, Craig felt the anger flee him. Mouth parting in an attempt at speech, the Noirette let Cartman go. Instantly, the boy slumped to the ground, moaning. Slowly, Craig looked around at the fearful faces surrounding him, the horror in their expressions. With a shuddering breath, Craig took a step away, letting the blond drag him backward. There was blood staining his sleeve, no doubt coming from the stitches he’d torn.

Shivering, Tweek dragged Craig away from the crowd of people. No one tried to stop them, no one tried to say a word. Craig just stared at the blond hanging onto his arm, unable to think past the fact that he’d caused the fear Tweek was currently showing. Needing to say something, Craig suddenly pulled Tweek to a stop  in the alcove of a doorway, his mouth still hanging open.

 _I’m sorry,_ he wanted to say. _I’m sorry for scaring you, I’m sorry I’m a monster. You were wrong about me, I’m nothing but a monster. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m not good enough._ But before he could so much as open his mouth, Tweek abruptly wrapped his arms around Craig.

Here marks the first moment that Craig would never admit happened. He’d bury it after that day, never think about it again. It was too confusing for his ten-year-old brain to contemplate, to think about too deeply. No, it would end up in the back of his brain in that dark corner that things like this that had to do with Tweek would start to take root.

“Thank you,” Tweek said fiercely, his face pressed into Craig’s chest, his wild blond hair tickling Craig’s face. That was it, that was all he said. For a moment the two of them just stood there. Craig couldn’t even begin to reciprocate the gesture, the best he could do was pat Tweek’s head until the boy stopped shaking so violently and finally let him go with a shuddering breath.

“I’m not going to let them hurt you anymore,” Craig promised, his jaw clenching as the pain in his arm starting to register as the adrenaline faded. “They’re never going to fucking touch you again, Cartman’s never going to push you around again while I’m here.”

“I know,” Tweek breathed. And even though Craig couldn’t even begin to articulate the fierce feeling in his stomach that swelled up at those two words, he knew for a fact that he’d never ever forget it and he’d never let Tweek face the world alone again.

Fuck everyone else.

Especially Cartman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it got super long but I couldn't help myself! It just kept going and I didn't wanna leave anything out!
> 
> I hope you all like it, I'll try to get to all of your wonderful comments as soon as possible!


	16. A New Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD!!! I'm dying, I'm literally dying SOMEONE MADE ART FOR THIS STORY!!! Navaja, the eternally wonderful person that they are, did fan art and I'm dying. It's so perfect and even though it might not be from that exact moment, it's exactly what I pictured for the moment Craig decides to talk to Tweek after everything and UGH it's so perfect.
> 
> https://parkecitodelsur.tumblr.com/post/167997072220/for-that-fic-i-love-very-much-and-hurt-me-every
> 
> There's the link, you should totally check it out. I might be putting it in the chapter before this just so everyone can see it!! 
> 
> Anyways, you people deserve another chapter!
> 
> Enjoy.

Lunch had always been frightening.

That first ring of the bell had never signaled freedom, it had only ever signaled loneliness and sometimes, if he was unlucky, torment. Tweek had never had a friend, he'd never had anyone to talk to. Just Kenny. Only ever Kenny.

The idea of a friend had been foreign to him. And yet suddenly, things had changed.

After spending a week talking to Craig, Tweek couldn't help but wonder if he now, somehow, had a friend. He'd spent most of the morning thinking about it, going over and over the events in his mind until anyone else would be sick to death of them. He wasn't though. They played like the most vivid of movies, each scene so carefully detailed, each word, trapped in Tweek's vice of a mind.

The time at the hospital had been like another world to him. Tweek had talked with Craig about anything and everything. He'd shared every one of those suspicions that haunted him and the boy hadn't laughed. Tweek was used to that. Laughter, and then avoidance. Sometimes downright rejection of his ideas.

But Craig had nodded, he'd  _understood,_  and then he'd talked about space till Tweek might as well have been there, seeing the stars and planets as Craig led him through the inky void. For a week, Tweek had been happy, felt accepted.

Then they'd gone back to school. Tweek had worried that Craig wouldn't speak to him again, seeing as they were out of the hospital. His usual fears overwhelmed him and told him that of course, someone like Craig wouldn't want to hang out with a twitch spaz like him. Who would? Who in their right mind would be caught dead with him? That had been his mindset when he'd gone to school, eyes downcast, trembling just as bad as ever.

Except Craig hadn't just forgotten him. He'd come over and talked to him and gone so far as to invite him over after school.  _Maybe I do have a friend…_  Tweek had been allowed to hope. With that tall boy standing over him, his eyes sparkling with emotion even if the rest of his face never changed, Tweek had felt happy once again.

Of course, then the whole thing with Cartman had happened. Tweek had been in the middle of checking to make sure his wounds on his hands weren't getting infected with some horrible thing that would rot away at his skin when he'd first heard the screams. His first instinct had been to run and hide, but then he'd heard the name Craig and instantly he was running towards the melee.

He'd probably never forget that image of Craig, holding Cartman aloft by one hand, his eyes and face completely devoid of any emotion but rage. For a moment, Tweek had thought that he looked like a monster, but then he'd heard the words  _This is for hurting Tweek!_  and there hadn't been another choice. All he'd been able to do was grab Craig's arm and beg for him to stop.

Miracle of all miracle's, the boy had listened eventually, allowing himself to be pulled away from the crowd. Allowed himself to be hugged by Tweek because no matter how scared he was, all the blond felt was amazement and joy that someone cared enough to stick up for him, even if it was in a violent and terrifying way.

Craig had said that he'd protect Tweek. He'd promised that no one else would hurt him. Tweek believed him. He couldn't help it. They were words he'd been subconsciously hoping to hear for years, and then they'd come out of the Noirette's mouth and Tweek could hardly believe it.

He'd spent all of class thinking about it and he still felt like it must be a dream.

But whatever he'd been thinking about, the moment the bell rung, Tweek was snapped out of his thoughts and flung back into the real world.  _JESUS, I DIDN'T LISTEN AT ALL!_  Yanking at his hair for a moment, Tweek quickly dropped to the floor and struggled to stuff everything into his backpack. This was one race he couldn't afford to lose. Every moment spent not getting out there first was another that he risked getting in the way of someone who wanted to hurt him.

It was a gut reaction to the bell, nothing more.

"You're going to pull those stitches."

Suddenly, Tweek remembered.  _I'm not alone anymore, am I?_  Movements stuttering to a halt, Tweek twitched and glanced up at Craig, who loomed over him, his hands in his pockets. He hadn't bothered to change his jacket so it still had bloody spots on his arm where his stitches had popped. At least he'd gotten them looked at, Tweek wouldn't let him get away with not getting them checked. The boy had a blank expression on his face, but Tweek didn't feel as intimidated by it as he used to.

"Rrrr! I- I'll be fine!" Tweek insisted, blinking twitchily before returning to putting his stuff away. People who would have usually shoved past him swarmed around them now, seemingly unwilling to evoke Craig's wrath. Everyone had heard his proclamation, after all, everyone had seen him fight Cartman. It wasn't like people didn't know what was going on.

_The whole school knows about it. What if they tell? What if Cartman tells? What if Craig gets suspended?! OH JESUS, THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_  "GHA!" Dropping his calculator, Tweek yanked on his hair and suddenly yelled, "GOD, CRAIG! DON'T GET EXPELLED!"  _I'll be all alone again and then Cartman will definitely kill me!_

Craig simply reached for something over Tweek's head before kneeling down before him. Very calmly, he offered Tweek his thermos, his expression unchanged as if the idea of expulsion fazed him about as much as anything else did. "I'll be fine dude." That was it, no asking for context, no confusion, just simple reassurance.  _You don't know that!_

But Tweek still pulled his hands from his hair and reached forward, grabbing his container of coffee from Craig with trembling fingers. As he took several large gulps of coffee, Craig calmly finished packing Tweek's backpack.  _Why is he helping me like this? He has no reason to. Does this mean we really are friends or is he just taking pity on me? I can't tell with him! I WISH HE'D JUST TELL ME!_

Looking again at the blood stains on Craig's coat, the blonde's stomach rolled. "Jesus man," Tweek squeaked once he found his voice again. "You really hurt Cartman, what if you get sent to prison!" He could just picture Craig, locked up in a jail with a bunch of scary people who were way bigger than he was. He'd look so tiny behind those thick iron bars, it was terrifying!

Rolling his eyes, Craig got to his feet and said, "They can't send me to prison." Shivering, Tweek hoped that Craig knew what he was talking about as he struggled to pick up his backpack with trembling fingers.  _Oh god, they'd probably kill him if he went to prison! I'd never see him again!_  "Come on, let's go to lunch Tweek."

Looking up, Tweek suddenly realized that they were the last people in the classroom. His eyes widened as he thought,  _I'm never the last person! That means the hallways will be packed and I'll be-_ He'd be fine, right? Because Craig had said that he'd protect him and Tweek wasn't sure exactly what that meant but he was pretty sure that it included not letting Tweek get knocked around in the hallway. Swallowing the lump of terror that had instantly formed, Tweek twitched and agreed, "Y-yeah."

With that, Craig walked out of the classroom, clearly expecting Tweek to follow. Squeaking, Tweek startled and hurried after Craig, not wanting to be left behind. As he'd predicted, the hallway was packed with students. South Park Elementary might not have had the largest number of students, but that was directly reflected by how small the building itself was.  _There are so many people! I CAN'T BREATH! OH, GOD I'M GOING TO SUFFOCATE!_  Screeching, Tweek got as close to Craig as possible, hiding behind his body as though that would make the other kids go away.

Craig didn't complain, he just ambled to his locker, unable to be swayed by the people who bumped into him. When he got to his locker, he opened it and when Tweek almost got pushed off his feet by a swell of chattering fifth-grade girls, Crag grabbed his arm and yanked him closer. Tweek let out a yelp at that, but meekly stood as close to Craig's locker as possible while the boy put his stuff away.

Pulling out his thermos, Tweek took several sips while he reflected that this whole day had been one big first for him. And though he could separate it into many individual pieces, Tweek decided that it could all be summed up by one thing.  _There's never been someone at school who's there for me._  As he examined Craig's stoic expression, the way the boy did everything with a sort of single-minded purpose that Tweek wouldn't have been able to manage if he tried, Tweek marveled at the warm feeling bubbling in his gut.

_This is what having a friend feels like._  If Craig was indeed his friend, Tweek was still too nervous to ask. He desperately wanted Craig to be his friend, to be willing to call himself Tweek's friend, but he felt like that might be too much to hope for. After all, Craig and he were so different, they were from opposite poles of the universe, what made Tweek think that he'd ever be able to be friends with someone like that?

_I'm being so stupid, Craig would never want to actually be friends with me. He's got friends already. He's just keeping me safe cause he feels like he has to. That's probably what this is, he doesn't even want to do it, he just feels guilty because he hurt me. Oh god, he doesn't even like me._  Feeling sick, Tweek let out a soft moan that caught Craig's attention.

One of the things about the boy was he never asked  _what?_  It was clear from his eyes that he was trying to figure out what was running through Tweek's head, but he never said a word.  _Why is he acting like this? I don't understand!_  Shutting his locker, Craig's eyes cleared and he said, "I'm not going anywhere." Tweek wasn't sure if this was in reference to what he'd said earlier about Craig getting sent to prison or if he'd actually read the blonde's mind and seen his thoughts about Craig not wanting to be around him, but the words still served their intended purpose. Tweek managed to draw a shaky gulp of air and calm down somewhat.

_I'll worry about it later. If Craig really doesn't want to be around me then he'll tell me, right?_

Seemingly satisfied, Craig said, "Come on." Before Tweek could ask where they were going, Craig was leading Tweek back into the swell of people and down towards the end of the hall. Tweek's eyes widened when he realized that Craig had taken him to his locker.  _He remembers where it is?!_  Well of course he did, he'd been staring at Tweek for ages. But Tweek still gave Craig a look of barely concealed wonder before shakily opening his locker.

It took him several tries to get the combination right, but he finally managed. Pulling open the thing, Tweek swung his backpack into the messy locker before grabbing for his lunch. Craig leaned against the locker beside him, entirely at peace. Though he often thought it, Tweek couldn't help but notice how much taller Craig was. He was the tallest in the fourth grade, was taller than a good number of fifth graders even. But it was at its most noticeable when he stood near Tweek because Tweek was just so short.

_I wonder if the world looks different from up there…_

"Wanna eat with Token, Clyde and I at lunch," Craig asked unexpectedly, not even looking Tweek's way. Jumping and losing his grasp on his thermos, Tweek let out a squeak. Reaching out, Craig attempted to grab Tweek's thermos as it fell but screwed up his timing. Inevitably, it clanged and sloshed as it hit the linoleum.

"Fuck," Craig muttered. Stooping down before Tweek could, he grabbed the silver container and instead of handing it directly to Tweek, he held it just out of his reach, fixing him with a pointed expression. "So, will you?"

_OH MY GOD, IT'S SO MUCH PRESSURE!_

Forced to actually think through the question, Tweek realized what he was being asked.  _He wants me to hang out with his friends._  Even though he felt fear coil in his gut at the idea, Tweek stared at the mildly hopeful expression on Craig's face and couldn't say no. "Y-yeah man," he agreed. Raising an eyebrow, an action that he did quite a bit as a substitute for showing real emotion, Craig handed Tweek his thermos back.

"Good," he commented shortly, before turning and walking towards the cafeteria.

The moment the stepped into the room, Tweek felt a little overwhelmed. He usually avoided this room at all costs. It was full of people who didn't much like him. The tables were always full of people and the lunch lady glared at him every time she so much as saw him because one time, he'd accidentally sloshed coffee on her when he'd fallen. Never mind that one of the fifth graders had been the one to trip him in the first place, the mess had been his fault.

So going in there, practically clinging to Craig, Tweek felt exposed like a raw nerve.  _Oh god, they're all staring! They want me to leave! They don't want me here so now they're staring and they all want me to leave. OH GOD, WHAT IF I DROP DEAD! CAN GLARES KILL?!_  But Craig simply nudged him in the direction of the lunch line and Tweek had no choice but to follow him. It was that or get left alone, stranded in the middle of the most terrifying place in this entire school.

Predictably, the lunch lady glared at him, a venomous expression that made Tweek feel like simply wilting to the ground. Craig, however, flipped the woman off, causing her attention to shift so she could screech at Craig.  _Oh god, he's gonna get sent to the principles!_  But Craig just moved on, uncaring. He didn't even bother to deny that he'd flipped her off, he just grabbed a tray and moved along.

It was interesting, whereas most people would have felt the need to fill the silence, Craig was comfortable with just existing quietly. Tweek knew the boy could talk, but he could also choose not to. Tweek liked that, it meant that no one was saying anything that could freak him out.

That being said, the silence didn't last long.

"CRAIG!" Suddenly, Tweek was pushed to the side as boy practically leaped at Craig and hugged him. Lifting his tray up over the brunette's head, Craig groaned but didn't fight the boy, who Tweek could now identify as Clyde. "HA! Token said you wouldn't let me hug you but you totally did. I knew you weren't pissed at me anymore!"

"You're going to pop my stitches," Craig informed the boy, who promptly let go. Bouncing backward, Clyde went back to his seat next to Token, who was looking at Tweek calmly. Under his gaze, Tweek hid behind Craig again, feeling horribly self-conscious.  _Oh god, they're going to tell me to leave!_

"Oh, it's T-T-Tweek," commented a boy Tweek recognized as Jimmy, who was sitting next to Token. Squeaking, Tweek shivered and twitched as Clyde too noticed him and fixed him with an intense look of scrutiny.

"Why is he here?" Clyde asked, not exactly frowning but definitely not looking happy.  _OH JESUS! I should just leave now, Craig's not gonna want me around if his friends don't. I should just go before they hurt me. They might kill me for talking to Craig!_

"Because he's eating with us asshole." Sliding into the seats across from the other boys, Craig grabbed Tweek's arm gently but still pulled him down next to him. Tweek didn't fight it, he just yelped in fright as the other boys continued to stare at him.

Token was the first to speak. Going back to his food, the black boy said, "It's good to see you out of the hospital, Tweek." Shocked that one of Craig's friends was being nice to him, Tweek just twitched and kept his mouth clamped shut tight.  _They're talking to me, what do I do?!_

"Yeah, you and Craig really went crazy there," Clyde commented. "I guess it's good you two aren't fighting anymore." Though he didn't sound as blasé about it as Token had, he seemed to not care enough to contest it, simply going back to eating his food.

Pulling out his own food, Tweek shivered and started to eat, unsure what else he was supposed to do. There followed a moment of silence that Tweek felt was unnecessarily awkward.  _Jesus, I wish someone would just say something!_

"So Craig," Jimmy commented, leaning forward over the cafeteria table. "That sure was p-p-p-pretty crazy this mor- This morning. You really gave Cartman a real beating."  _OH JESUS, NOT LIKE THAT!_

"AUGH!" Shrieking, Tweek yelled, "HE'S GONNA GET IN SO MUCH TROUBLE MAN!" As soon as he'd said it he slammed a hand over his mouth, terrified.  _Oh god, I said something. They're going to kick me out. They're going to throw me to the wolves! They're going to-_

"That's what I said!" Clyde exclaimed suddenly, entirely surprising Tweek, who leaped in his seat and huddled closer to Craig, who didn't protest. "I mean, this is Cartman we're talking about Craig, you're so done. There is no way he's not going to try and get revenge on you!"

"Let him," Craig said, entirely unconcerned. "He's a dick and he deserved it." Tweek had to agree, but it still freaked him out. He knew first-hand how mean Cartman could be, he didn't want Craig to have to deal with that. Especially not when the whole reason the Noirette had attacked Cartman in the first place was because of him.

"T-T-That doesn't sound like a good idea to b-be p-p-p-perfectly honest," Jimmy told Craig, raising an eyebrow. "But it was t-t-totally b-badass, watching you kick the shit out of him." Token shorted at that and Clyde laughed, to which Jimmy grinned.

"What was that I heard about Cartman getting his ass handed to him?" Suddenly, a certain grinning boy slid in beside Tweek and the blond yelped as Kenny McCormick ruffled his hair with a laugh.  _So he didn't die after all. Good, I think._  "Man I  _wish_  I could have witnessed something so historic."

Tweek was about to yell at Kenny to just leave him alone when suddenly he found an arm being wrapped around him before pulling him closer. As he found himself squashed against Craig, the twitchy blond heard the Noirette say, "The fuck do you want McCormick?"  _Oh god, Oh Jesus, HELP!_  Except with Craig's arm around him, Tweek was finding it hard to launch into a full blown panic attack.

"Aww, look at them~" Kenny cooed, before turning to the rest of the boys. Eyes glittering dangerously, the boy said, "I'm here because some friends of mine have something to say." Suddenly, the air around the table thickened with tension as Kyle and Stan both walked up.

Staring at them in fear, Tweek could feel Craig's arm tightening as he spat, "Oh great, more of you."

Holding out his hands, Stan said, "Come on guys, we just want to talk." He looked genuinely concerned, which didn't do much to help Tweek's stress but it at least meant this wasn't some sort of set up. "Don't be like this Craig, it's been a week, get over yourself."

"We know that you didn't mean for it to get like this, it was mostly Cartman after all," Token said, seemingly the voice of reason for the group. Unlike Craig, who was being openly hostile, the black boy gestured to what little space there was open at the table, urging them to sit. Tweek muffled his own squeak of fear at that, not wanting them so close. The only one who noticed was Craig, who shifted the arm that he had around Tweek so he could pat his head.

It was a weird gesture, but then Tweek was weird and found the whole thing strangely comforting. As Stan and Kyle both took their seats, Kyle beside Kenny and Stan beside Clyde, Tweek reached for his thermos at took several gulps of it.

"So what's up?" Clyde asked, chewing on his sandwich as he spoke.

Stan shifted slightly and didn't speak. At last, it was Kyle who opened his mouth. "We just wanted to say sorry for Cartman being such a dick. He's in the hospital with a broken nose now." Tweek jerked in shock and stared up at Craig, who just snorted.

"Yeah, he deserved it," Stan admitted ruefully. "He was being a piece of shit to you Craig."

"We d-don't hold you acc- accou- We don't hold you accountable for what Cartman does," Jimmy said, shrugging. Tweek glanced at the boy, wanting to say that Stan and Kyle had been every bit as responsible for Craig and his fight as Cartman, but he couldn't make the words come out.  _At least they sound genuinely sorry._

"They're just being all bashful," Kenny said, ignoring the glares of his friends. "What we really came over here to say is that Cartman told the principle that you and Tweek were responsible for what happened. You're kinda screwed."

"Yeah dude," Stan agreed, nodding fervently. "Why did you have to punch him? That was so stupid!" Shaking his head, he seemed to relax somewhat as he looked at Craig meaningfully. Tweek shivered under the look, but Craig didn't flinch. "I mean I get he was insulting you but-"

"I didn't punch him because of that," Craig said calmly, taking a bite of food as if to show just how little he cared about the conversation. "I punched him because he hurt my friend."

And just like that, Tweek felt his spirits soar.  _Friends. We're friends._

"Just watch your back," Kyle warned, shaking his head. "It might not be now, it might not be for a while even, but trust me, Cartman will get you back. He's a petty asshole but he's really good at it." They seemed concerned, but somehow, Tweek didn't feel like screaming.

_Cause if Craig's there, I'll be fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe, yeah, Cartman's gonna try and get some revenge but first, MOAR ADORABLENESS 
> 
> Kenny is back, as per the usual.
> 
> I'll do my best to answer your comments as soon as possible!!


	17. Out Of Your Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRRRRG
> 
> Okay, to be perfectly honest, I'm clinging to these few chapters of fluff because I don't want to go back to extreme drama just yet. put up with my addiction to fluff and stuff. PLEASE
> 
> Also, at some point, I will probably need to talk to someone about some plot ideas that I'm unsure about so if one of you doesn't mind me spoiling a good portion of the story for you for the sake of everyone else, then that would be pretty neat... 
> 
> Enjoy.

Craig's shoulder hurt.

He wasn't complaining about it, no, he'd sort of just expected it, which is why it didn't really faze him.  _Fuck, I'm going to have a bruise there for days._  At least it would blend in with the ones left over from his fight with Tweek.

Scuffing his feet on the sidewalk as he walked down the street, Craig couldn't help but reflect on how peaceful everything was. After rush hour, after all the kids were in school and the businesses had opened up, the neighborhood streets of South Park were pleasantly empty. Coming to the end of the block, Craig looked about before turning left, his mind instantly drifting again.

Technically, he was supposed to be at home. Technically, he didn't give a shit. The Colorado air whipped past him, ruffling the strings of his chullo. Craig just sighed and watched the horizon. There was no way in hell he was going to spend all day alone in his room, fuck that. It wasn't even his fault this whole thing had happened. No, he was perfectly willing to land the blame squarely on Cartman, but whatever. That didn't matter to the school and it definitely didn't matter to his parents.

So now he was here, and he was perfectly happy to be outside and not stuck indoors slowly losing his mind. As he reached the end of the sidewalk, Craig turned left again and kept walking.  _Damn, it's been a while since someone told me where his house was._  When had it been? First grade? Something about a bunch of kids trying to scare him on Halloween…

Oh well, Clyde's information had been much more useful.  _The really dark brown one Craig, with like a purple number plate. Literally, you can't miss it._  In theory.  _I wonder if he's even home…_  Craig couldn't think of where else he could be. His parents would be out, right? Maybe they'd still be home. He ground his teeth together.  _That would be awkward._

Looking up at the third house down, at the uniform lawn and drive, up to the dark, reddish building and it's matching garage, Craig could only shrug. The action made his shoulder twinge with pain, but he brushed it off. Nothing he wasn't used to. Walking up the sidewalk, Craig stood before the door for a moment before raising his hand and knocking.

There wasn't a sound from inside.

Letting out a puff of air, Craig knocked again before looking up and calling out, "Hey! Tweek?" Instantly, he was met with a scream and a crash. Wincing internally, Craig waited blandly for the sounds of hurried footsteps down the stairs. It sounded more like someone falling down the stairs, to be honest, which only made Craig frown slightly. Even so, he stepped back slightly just before someone inside unlocked the door and Tweek's wild face appeared as it swung open.

"Craig!?" he all but screeched.

Craig raised his eyebrows. "So, how's your first day of suspension treating you?"

"GHA IT'S HORRIBLE MAN!" Tweek yelped, his hands flying up so he could yank on his hair. The boy clearly hadn't done much that morning, he was still dressed in his pajamas, right down to the shirt that was on backward and inside out plus the pair of what were probably girl's bottoms, which were covered in coffee cups and little Eiffel towers. The dark circles under his eyes were even worse than usual and when he let out a moan of consternation, Craig could tell his voice was hoarse.

"Come on, it's not that bad," Craig said, watching as Tweek twitched and shivered. "Besides, it's Cartman's fault for being a dick." It was true, after Cartman had told the principle that Tweek and he had been responsible, they'd used it and their fight previous to merit suspending them both for the rest of the week. Craig didn't give a shit, it wasn't his first suspension and it probably wouldn't be his last, but Tweek clearly didn't see it the same.

That much had been obvious from the way he'd banged his head repeatedly against Mr. Mackey's desk to the point of almost knocking himself out.

"B-But what if we're expelled!?" Tweek shrieked, shaking his head wildly in fear. "W-what if this ends up on our permanent record and I can't get a job when I get older?! WHAT IF WE GET ARRESTED!? JESUS MAN, I CAN'T GET ARRESTED!" Without much of a second thought, Craig reached forward and patted Tweek's hair, reflecting as he did so how fluffy it really was. After a moment of this, Tweek got his breathing back under control.

"Dude, even if they did try to expel us, I was the one who broke his nose, you didn't do anything," Craig reassured Tweek easily. He'd found that the blond responded well to his flat tone of voice. This was good because Craig probably couldn't have managed sympathetic to save his life. "So I'd be the one with the permanent record, but they wouldn't arrest us for something like this."

Tweek nibbled on his lip, his green eyes still full of wild thoughts, but he didn't argue this. Satisfied, Craig stuffed his hands into his pockets and raised an eyebrow. "So, wanna come over. You never got to yesterday because of everything." They'd both been hauled to the councilor's office towards the end of the day, Craig first, then a twitching and shivering Tweek. After trying and failing to get Tweek to confess to something he hadn't even done, they'd finally called both their parents and just slapped them both with suspensions.

Craig's parents had handled it about as well as could be expected. Now he was grounded until he went back to school, not that it actually meant anything, considering both of his parents worked. His shoulder throbbed again, but he ignored it with practiced ease. Right now, all he wanted to do was hang out with Tweek until his parents came home.

But Tweek, apparently, had other ideas.

"ACK! N-NO WAY MAN!" he burst out, shaking his head jerkily, twitching and shifting on his feet, which Craig realized were bare.  _He's so tiny…_  "My parents grounded me! I can't leave man, that's just too much pressure!" Craig could practically see the thoughts building up in the boy's head, driving him insane. Though he couldn't possibly know what Tweek was thinking, the paths his mind usually followed being simply too convoluted, Craig still let out a sigh.

"Dude, it's not gonna kill you. Look, I'm grounded too, do I look like I give a fuck?" at his words, Tweek shrieked and slammed the door in his face.  _Okay, wrong tactic._  Listening to the boy race up his stairs and vanish, probably to his room, Craig let out a sigh of frustration.  _He probably thinks that something bad is going to happen if I'm here…_

Stepping back, Craig examined the house again, taking his options into account.  _What did Kenny say that one time…? The middle room?_  Craig felt like this entire thing was forcing him to dredge up every single fragment of memory he possessed, just to see Tweek.  _Well, it'll be worth it._  Because Tweek was his friend.  _And this is what friends do?_  He wasn't quite sure, he'd never acted like this around Token or Clyde, but that was different.

The eves under Tweek's window were steep, but they were there, which was good. Frowning again, Craig's eyes traveled over the side of the house till he found what he was looking for.  _Well, might as well give it a try._  Leaping off the side of Tweek's front steps, Craig followed the path of the sturdy looking drain pipe down behind the small pines. Looking the thing up and down, Craig noticed a torn piece of orange material that looked familiar.  _Well, I guess if Kenny can do it…_

Wrapping his hands around the cold metal, using the protruding rivets and bolts to climb up, Craig clumsily scaled the side of Tweek's house before jumping onto the eves, slipping on the roofing tiles. Heart flying into his throat as the ground loomed large, Craig swallowed it back and latched onto the window sill of the first window. Carefully creeping along, painfully aware that he wasn't particularly graceful at this, Craig came to the second window and examined it. The blinds were closed, so he couldn't see inside, but when he pressed his ear to the glass, he could hear a familiar squeak of,  _"H-he's gonna get killed!"_

Rolling his eyes, Craig examined the lock on the window, only to discover that someone else had already tampered with the thing, making the task of unlocking it from the outside rather simple. Shimmying it undone, Craig pushed the window open, wincing and the squeaking that resulted.

"AUUUUUUGH!" Tweek shrieked, falling off of his bed with a great crash. "THEY'RE AFTER ME!"

Pushing the blinds out of the way, Craig slipped through the window and looking around Tweek's room. It was every bit the blonde's, down to the messy drawings on the walls of gnomes and aliens and the coffee stains on every surface, including the ceiling. Closing the window behind him, Craig walked around the twin bed till he found Tweek there behind it, lying on his back and moaning in pain softly. He'd managed to tear several of the stitches on his arms and without sleeves to cover them, they bled freely.

Raising an eyebrow at Tweek's contorted face, Craig flipped him off before crouching down and easily picking the unfortunate blond up. Despite the fact they weighed about the same, Craig would have compared the blond to a feather.  _Where does all that weight go?_  Maybe his delusions weighed something…

Setting him on the bed, Craig crossed his arms and stared at him, a blank expression on his face. "Hey," he said as if this were any appropriate response to what had just happened. Tweek simply looked down at his arms, noticed the blood, and promptly fell back to his bed with a moan.  _Damnit, that'll teach me not to scare him._  Looking about the boy's room, Craig tried to find some coffee for him before realizing that there wasn't any and sighing.  _Well, maybe there's some downstairs._

There followed a confusing ten minutes as Craig found the coffee machine, struggled to make coffee, probably failed miserably, but gave up trying and simply took his concoction upstairs to Tweek. The rest of the house, he noticed, was almost disturbingly neat, as if no one even lived there at all. Compared to his own house, which always felt like a disaster, Craig found the cleanliness almost uncomfortable.

Walking back into Tweek's room, Craig brought the mug over to the boy's bed and sat down next to the unconscious blond. Sniffing his own creation, Craig pulled a face and decided that if coffee ever needed to be made in the future, he was going to need some lessons from Tweek before attempting to be the one to make it. Glancing down at the boy's still bleeding arms, Craig gave another sigh, put the cup down on the bedside table, then slipped out of Tweek's room once more to try and find something to get rid of the blood.

He never even bothered to question his own actions, he just sort of acted. It felt natural, therefore it was to him. It didn't matter that he'd never done anything like this for Token or Clyde, much less someone he'd only really  _known_  for a total of a week and a half, Craig just gradually made a mess of the bathroom till he found the first aid kit he was looking for.

Returning to Tweek's room, Craig made an utter fool of himself, trying to struggle with the medical supplies and bandages. Settling on what looked like tape, just softer and more medical, Craig did his best to patch up Tweek's arms. As he did so, he noticed the scars on the boy's tiny palms from when he'd gone crashing through the door in third grade. Stretching out his own hands, Craig looked at the scars on his own hands from the many fights he'd been through. "Look," he said softly, his tone still flat. "We match."

As if awakened by his words, Tweek groaned and shifted, struggling to sit upright as consciousness returned to him. Blinking awake, the boy's eyes widened as they landed on Craig, but before he could scream, the Noirette grabbed the mug of coffee and pushed it into his hands. The moment the warm ceramic touched his fingers, Tweek lifted it to his lips on instinct and all but drained it.

"You can't make coffee," he mumbled, looking back up at Craig, before seeming to once again realize Craig was there at all. "GHA! What are you doing here!? You should be home! What if your parents catch you and lock you up and you can't escape and they get locked up for child neglect and then you're an orphan and you end up moving to Canada!?"

Struggling to follow that train of thought, Craig just huffed out a breath and said, "They both work all day dude. They don't get home till, like, six thirty or something. Literally, no one is home." Shifting closer to the trembling blond, Craig pressed his shoulder against Tweek's until the shaking subsided. It was amazing how much physical contact could calm the boy down. "I'll be fine, they wouldn't lock me up."  _They'd do other stuff._

"SO WHY ARE YOU OVER HERE?!" Tweek burst, his eyes still wide and panicked. "I'm grounded, Craig, you're not even supposed to be here, we're going to get in so much trouble." Moaning, he lifted his hands to his hair but didn't really tug at the strands, he just grabbed them and squeezed them hard.

"Trust me," Craig insisted, "You won't get into trouble. We've literally got all day dude, I wanted you to hang out for a while. Don't both of your parents work at the coffee shop?" When Tweek nodded uncertainly, Craig put out his hands as if to say  _well there you have it._  "They don't close up till six, right?"

"Seven," Tweek corrected, twitching to the side. "They close up at seven." Craig raised an eyebrow, waiting for Tweek to understand what he was trying to get at. Eyes widening, Tweek stared up at him as if trying to understand if he was serious, but finally, he seemed to accept that he was. "I-it's still dangerous man, what if we –ngh- lose track of time or something!"

"Just trust me," Craig repeated, sliding off of Tweek's bed. "Get dressed, nothing bad is going to happen. We're already suspended, how much worse can it get?" As Tweek's eyes widened, saying very clearly that yes, things could get a whole lot worse, Craig rolled his eyes. "You'll be back before lunch if you want to leave that early."

Rummaging around in Tweek's already messy drawers, Craig dug up a green shirt that looked almost exactly like the ones he wore every day.  _Is this the only shirt he owns?_  Finding a pair of jeans as well, Craig tossed them both to Tweek.

"You promise I won't g-get caught?" Tweek asked nervously, shivering where he sat. Craig nodded at once, careful to avoid the Legos as he went to grab the first aid kit he'd left open on Tweek's bed. Leaving Tweek to get dressed, Craig walked back to the boy's bathroom. It was funny, Craig had never really worked this hard to get to hang out with someone. Usually, Token and Clyde were quicker to say yes, and if they said no, he just kind of let it rest. He never really pushed like this just to spend time with someone.

But it made sense with Tweek.  _Because if someone didn't push him, he'd just stay in his room all day,_  Craig reasoned easily, putting the case back on the shelf of the linen closet before walking back to Tweek's room.  _If I'm going to be his friend, I'm going to have actually be his friend instead of just coasting._  That sounded like a lot of hard work, but Craig had already made up his mind. Worth it or not, he was going to be Tweek's friend.

"Tweek, you ready to go?" Walking in, Craig found Tweek struggling with the buttons of his shirt. Realizing that he was going to button it up wrong, just like he always did, Craig mindlessly walked forward and took over for him, quickly buttoning up the boy's shirt for him. Tweek just let him, staring at Craig dumbly as he did so. Satisfied that Tweek was properly dressed, Craig pulled the boy to the feet by his wrist and guided him out of the room by sort of just nudging him along with the shoulder that didn't hurt.

"C-can I get some coffee first!?" Tweek squeaked, his eyes widening as if he was worried that Craig would deny him his fix. Snorting softly at the idea of Tweek without his coffee, Craig almost smiled. It was weird how easily the spastic blond could evoke that reaction. He just sort of was himself and Craig found himself irrationally happy. He still wasn't used to the feeling, but the Noirette was definitely willing to give it a try.

"Sure." As he followed the boy down to the kitchen, Craig asked, "So, after we're both ungrounded, wanna hang out with Token, Clyde and I? Jimmy might be there too even." Staring at the cabinets that looked slightly disheveled after his pilfering of them to find the elusive coffee, Craig continued, "We usually just sit in Token's basement and play video games. It's alright, as long as Clyde isn't hogging all the food." When several seconds of silence passed, Craig prodded, "Tweek?"

"Gah, Jesus!" Looking to the side, Craig found the boy looking at him with absolute terror. His hands were already buried in his hair and there were coffee grounds spilled over the counter.

"What?" Craig asked, tilting his head and watching Tweek patiently. That was the only appropriate response to handle Tweek, to be honest.

"I COULDN'T POSSIBLY HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS!" Tweek all but shrieked, his shaking increasing tenfold in seconds. "THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Spine curving as the blond started to curl in on himself, Craig calmly reached forward and once again patted the blonde's head.

"Dude, it's fine," he said, combing his fingers through the soft golden mane, waiting for Tweek's panicked thoughts to slow and his twitching to subside to his usual hyperactive tremble. "They don't mind you Tweek, I promise they won't hurt you." He wasn't quite sure what was running through Tweek's head, but he could guess. It made him feel oddly uncomfortable to think that Tweek didn't see himself as good enough to hang out with Craig's friends, but like many other things about the blond, Craig simply pushed it down and projected his usual even demeanor.

Blinking uncertainly, Tweek asked, in a hushed tone, "Are you sure they don't hate me?" deflating internally at Tweek's self-deprecating thoughts, Craig patted Tweek's head once more before going to the sink where he saw Tweek's usual thermos.

"They're fine with you Tweek, I promise they don't hate you." Bringing over the large silver container, Craig set it down before the blond, reminding the boy what he was doing. Shaking hands going back to making coffee, Tweek's fingers flew over the machine that had left Craig so confused.

"I guess I could hang out…" Tweek mumbled, still twitching but looking at least a little calmer. It was clear he was still horribly nervous about the prospect, but he wasn't screaming anymore, so that was a plus.

As Tweek snapped down the lid of the coffee maker and turned it on, Craig nudged the boy slightly, making him jump. "I'll be there too. I won't let any of them fuck with you, even if they want to. But I know them and they don't do that shit." Feeling the boy relax slightly against him, Craig didn't protest as Tweek leaned against him, practically sagging against the Noirette.

Once again, soft questions flitted through Craig's head. Most of them asking why the hell he was acting like this, but like he'd been doing before, he simply pushed them back down. He didn't really give a shit. This was Tweek and Tweek was different. If Tweek needed to lean against something to relieve some of the mental pressure the boy was constantly placed under, then Craig wouldn't push him away.

Maybe it went both ways, but Craig didn't dare touch those thoughts with a fifty-foot stick.

Finally finishing the pot of coffee, Tweek stood up straight, pulled the coffee pot out and poured the entire thing into his thermos. Standing on his tiptoes, Tweek batted at the cupboard, struggling to nudge the container of what looked like sweetener off the shelf. Though the sight was mildly amusing (literally the only word Craig could think of to describe it, even though it didn't fit quite), Craig took pity on the boy and pulled it down for him.

"Thanks." Sweeting the coffee to his tastes, pouring some of the creamer Craig hadn't dared touch into the mix, Tweek took several sips off the top of the piping hot mix before closing the thermos and saying, "I'm r-ready to go."

Feeling distinctly pleased, Craig led the boy out of his own house and onto the sidewalk. Though it was a small victory, Craig felt like he'd just won something great, managing to get Tweek to come over.

And when one of Tweek's hands entangled itself in the sleeve of Craig's coat, the boy didn't even mind. Because it was Tweek, and Tweek was different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, it's so cute. I can't help it. Nothing even happened this chapter. But it was so CUTE!
> 
> I'm sorry!! *begs for forgiveness* THINGS WILL HAPPEN SOON!


	18. Covered By Your Galaxies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a thank you to the wonderful Kitiliisu who let me spoil the story for her so you could all have a wonderful surprise! 
> 
> I know I already posted but come on, this and the last one is all kind of like one big chapter so pshhhh it doesn't count.
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek still wasn’t sure how he’d been coerced out of the house with nothing but his thermos full of coffee and several promises that he wasn’t going to get caught. Usually, he obeyed the little instruction his parents gave him to the letter, even when they put him to work in the back rooms of Tweek Bro’s until sundown, even when they told him to clean the same dishes twice. He didn’t like going against them, it was simply too much pressure for him to deal with.

And yet all Craig had needed to do was climb through his window and poke and prod him till he not so much as agreed to go as he simply followed Craig out of his own house. Now as they walked down the empty and frankly peaceful sidewalk, Tweek’s fear was quickly turning to wonder as he fully processed what he was doing. Of course, he was still nervous, but Craig didn’t seem to mind the way Tweek kept a tight hold on his sleeve so Tweek didn’t stop.

He was discovering that he liked to be close to Craig.

That sounded weird, but Tweek wasn’t sure how else to say it. Craig’s presence calmed him down, made the screaming in his head that he’d always been desperate to drown out subside into small murmurs. He couldn’t necessarily stop himself from panicking, but then, Craig seemed to instinctively know how to calm him down so Tweek was pretty sure that didn’t matter. _Is this really what having a friend is like?_ He didn’t know, it wasn’t like he had any prior knowledge to go off of.

A car drove past and Tweek squeaked, huddling closer to Craig, who didn’t so much as flinch. _Oh god, what if they’re going to the coffee shop? What if they tell my parents that I’m out? What if I get in more trouble? What if they do lock me away and forget that I exist and I die up there?!_ Craig let out a soft humming sound that distracted Tweek from his wild thoughts enough to let him breathe. He’d be fine, Craig had promised that he’d be fine.

“Aren’t you worried?” Tweek suddenly blurted out, unable to stop himself. Frowning slightly, Craig looked down at Tweek. The blond twitched at the look on Craig’s face, momentarily worried that he’d displeased the Noirette by asking such a question, before pushing that stupid thought away.

“Worried about what?” Craig asked simply as if he was running through a mental checklist and had run out of options. Sometimes, Tweek pictured Craig’s brain with real gears in there instead of squishy gray stuff. It would make sense then why the aliens wouldn’t touch him. He was simply made of clockwork, a perfect human replica, better than a robot, more life-like. Flesh and blood except for his mind, which ticked away, calmly working through Tweek’s issues as methodically as possible.

 _About getting caught!_ Tweek wanted to say, but instead, he found himself pushing out, “Anything!” Because he honestly wanted to know if there was anything at all that scared the boy, made him worried, broke through his calm. Maybe it was because _everything_ scared Tweek, but he was desperate to know.

Craig thought for a moment, his gears turning, before he softly answered back, “Nah dude, not really.” He definitely sounded unconcerned, like he could care less about the rest of the world. _Does that include me? Does he care less about me too?_ Except he remembered the messy bandages on his arms that Craig had clearly done up and Tweek knew that wasn’t true.

“But th-there’s so much to worry about!” Tweek insisted, tugging on Craig’s sleeve as if to show how serious he was. “What about the aliens!” They certainly worried him, he knew they were out there, no matter how little everyone believed him.

“They’re not gonna hurt me,” Craig said, shrugging then wincing softly as if something had caused him pain. “If they’re not a threat, why should I worry?” He made a decent point Tweek supposed, but it wasn’t as easy for him. He was a walking target, of course the aliens were coming after him. Of course, when he was with Craig, his walking man of metal and gears, Tweek didn’t have to worry about them coming for him. _Craig said they wouldn’t._

He had no reason to doubt the boy.

“What about getting caught?” he said at last, finally letting out his real question. Nibbling on his bottom lip, Tweek shuffled his feet as he walked, wondering if Craig was judging him for being so paranoid. Craig was too strong to be afraid of things, Tweek was silly for asking questions like that. _He’s going to think I’m a wimp again and he’s not going to want to talk to me anymore. Oh god, I don’t think I can handle this!_

“Not really,” Craig said simply, not sounding judgmental. “I mean, they don’t usually give a shit when I sneak out. They won’t care now, even though I’m grounded.” He sucked his left cheek in, something that Tweek was quickly learning was a habit of his. “This is just a show, they don’t give a fuck what I do.”

Tweek was silent. He understood, his parents had grounded him in the past, but they always forgot about it. They’d grounded him in third grade once and still hadn’t ungrounded him, they’d just forgotten about it. They forgot everything. He really only followed it because he was too scared to do anything else.

“What about you?” Craig suddenly asked, startling Tweek. _Jesus! What is he talking about? Oh god!! What did I miss? Did he say something and I didn’t hear? Fuck, oh god, help!_ Letting out a shriek, Tweek twitched hard and dropped his thermos.

“AUGH! W-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???” Tweek shrieked, letting go of Craig’s sleeve so he could yank on his hair. Shaking, Tweek squeezed his eyes shut tight. _Oh god, he’s going to be upset with me!! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SUCH A SCREW-UP!?_

Suddenly, a hand was in his hair, ruffling the parts he didn’t have clenched in his fists. The warmth and weight made him open his eyes as the thoughts spiraling in his mind slowed down. Looking up at Craig, Tweek let out a whimper and let go of his hair. Craig’s expression was still the same, but he was holding Tweek’s thermos and the hand ruffling his blond mane was gentle.

Accepting the thermos that was pushed into his hands, Tweek opened it with still trembling fingers and gulped down some of the hot liquid. It burned going down, warming his stomach to the point where he could practically feel it pumping through the rest of his body.

Hand still in Tweek’s hair, Craig asked, “I just wanted to know if anything worried you?” Now that he understood what was being asked, Tweek felt a great deal less panicked. _Ugh, I made a fool of myself. I can’t believe Craig is willing to put up with me._

“Gah!” Putting the lid back on his thermos, Tweek shuddered and said, “Everything worries me, man!” Which was absolutely true, because the entire world was just one big machine that could kill you if you weren’t careful. And if you made even one mistake you were screwed! That was way too much pressure, Tweek couldn’t possibly handle it!

“Is Cartman worrying you?”

Though Tweek could have been said to be the master of out of the blue questions, Craig apparently had him beat. Blinking at the boy, the blond struggled to speak for a moment, wondering where the hell that had come from. _Of course I’m worried about Cartman!! Did you hear Stan and Kyle yesterday?! They said Cartman is going to get revenge, that’s terrifying! What if he hurts you!?_

“Is he not w-worrying you?!” Tweek screeched, his eyes widening. Raising an eyebrow, Craig shrugged. As if he didn’t even need to think about it, the boy grabbed for Tweek’s free hand and started leading him down the street once more, his gate slow and unconcerned.

“No, not really,” Craig said in his usual monotone. His hand felt warm closed over Tweek’s, so much bigger and rougher. _Yet he’s so gentle, it’s almost like it’s not Craig at all._ For someone so frightening, the Noirette could be unbelievably kind. “I mean it’s Cartman, he’s full of shit.”

“B-but he’s really horrible!” Tweek squeaked, hugging his thermos close to his chest and huddling over it as he pictured all the horrible things Cartman could do. _What if he gets Craig arrested after all? What if he kills Craig? What if he makes us fight again? What if he makes Craig hate me? What if he makes Craig beat me up??_ Tweek shook as the thoughts filled his head.  “He’s so –ngh- mean all the time and he could really hurt you.”

“He won’t,” Craig said blandly, his tone sure. Glancing down at Tweek, he added, “And he won’t hurt you either. He can try, but he won’t actually do anything.” He sounded so sure, Tweek really wanted to believe him. Craig was like that, so much stronger and more certain that he’d ever been. Tweek wished he could be like that, wished he could believe in himself that much. But he didn’t, so maybe he’d just have to trust Craig.

“He probably hates you,” Tweek said, shivering as he said it. Following Craig in turning right once more, Tweek bit his lip at the thought. He already knew that Cartman didn’t like him, but he’d always sort of gotten along with Craig. Or at least Craig had tolerated him. Now, Tweek didn’t know what was going to happen. _Oh Jesus, what if he makes everyone else hate us too!!_

“He’ll probably get over it,” Craig hummed, sucking in his cheek again before lifting his free hand up to tug on his hat. “Cartman doesn’t really like anyone, not even his friends.” Tweek didn’t like the way Craig said it, like he understood, like he could relate. _No, Cartman and Craig are nothing alike!! They’re total opposites!_ Despite this, Tweek tightened his grip on Craig’s hand, even though it strained his stitches.

“It’s going to be alright.” Craig sounded so sure of himself, Tweek found himself believing it.

It was funny, even yesterday when he’d been freaking out about being suspended, it had been Craig who had finally calmed him down by actually getting up and going to their classroom so he could bring back his thermos. Mr. Mackey had either let him, or Craig hadn’t cared enough to stop when he’d been told to. Either way, Tweek calmed down when he was around Craig. It was the first time he’d ever found something other than coffee that really could take his stress away.

As the Noirette pulled him up in front of a dirty coffee colored house, Tweek could feel his heart speeding up once more. _I’m going to be inside Craig’s house!! What if I knock something over? What if I set something on fire? What if the underpants gnomes followed me and now they’re going to torment Craig too!!!_ But Craig didn’t let go of his hand and Tweek didn’t want to be pulled over so he stumbled after the boy, his shoes catching on the steps.

Catching him with his free hand, Craig didn’t even bother looking down as he set Tweek back on his feet before pulling out a key and unlocking the door. Finally letting go of Tweek’s hand, Craig stepped inside and stared at him expectantly as if waiting for him. _He’s waiting for me, isn’t he?_ Nervously, Tweek stepped over the threshold, his eyes darting around as he did so, trying to take in everything.

The first thing that hit him was that it felt forgotten. Whereas his house was neat to the point of feeling like no one lived there, Craig’s house felt tired, like it had been lived in for too long. Like if you peeled back the wallpaper, you’d find emotions and problems buried there. It was just as cold as his own house, which made Tweek’s stomach turn. _Craig lives here? Oh god, it’s freaking me out. I don’t like it!!_

There was a slight squeak as Craig shut the door behind Tweek. _Oh god, I’m trapped in. I can’t get out now. What if there’s a monster in here that’s going to eat me!? What if Craig’s parents get home?? Oh god, it’s too much pressure!_ Fumbling with his thermos, Tweek took several shaky gulps, fighting to keep his panic down. He didn’t want to do anything to make Craig throw him out, or worse, leave him alone in this place. The thought was too terrifying. “It’s just a house,” Craig muttered, brushing up against Tweek as he walked by.

But the way he said it, Tweek had a feeling that it was so much more than that. He didn’t want to understand though, he didn’t like the anger brewing right behind Craig’s words. _What if he’s angry at me?!_ Squeaking, Tweek hurried to follow Craig, who walked past the messy living room and towards the stairs.

“Want anything to eat?” he asked, almost like it was an afterthought. Glancing at him and twitching, Tweek shook his head. Seemingly satisfied with his hosting efforts, Craig just continued up the stairs, never checking to make sure Tweek was following once. But he didn’t need to, Tweek followed as close to him as possible, not wanting to be trapped in the ghosts of past misfortune that haunted the very floorboards.

Tweek’s house might have felt vacant, but Craig’s just felt too full.

Stride loose and unconcerned, Craig opened the second door on the right and pulled it open. Instantly the pressure in Tweek’s head increased. _If this is what the rest of Craig’s house feels like, what is his room gonna be like? Oh god, I’m going to die. My heart is going to fail and I’m going to die and the monsters that live in Craig’s walls are going to eat me and my parents aren’t even going to notice!!!_ “GHA! NO WAY MAN, THIS IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE!” Tweek screeched, shaking his head hard enough to make it pound as his brain was sloshed about.

“It’s just my room,” Craig said, tilting his head slightly, pulling on the edge of his chullo. Tweek wished he knew what that little action meant but he didn’t, Craig’s face was a blank slate. _Oh god, I don’t want to, why did I ever leave? This was such a bad idea!_ “It’s not going to hurt you Tweek, I promise. Come on, I want to show you something.”

Before Tweek could protest again, Craig grabbed his arm gently and pulled the twitching boy through the door. The moment he crossed through the doorway, Tweek expected his head to explode. He expected something to come out of the shadows and eat him. He expected the horrible oppressive nature of the house to squash him completely. But it didn’t happen.

No, because the moment Tweek passed through the door, all of the stress building up behind his brain vanished like it had never been there at all. _Wait, what?_

The whole thing looked like someone had taken Craig, opened up his head, and spread what was inside everywhere. Everything, the floor, the walls, the ceiling, it all screamed Craig, surrounded Tweek with the same feeling the boy always brought to him. Granted it wasn’t as powerful as the effect Craig had on him, but it was still there, making his trembling still, his whimpers, cease. As Craig closed the door, Tweek couldn’t help but let out a soft, “Oh.”

Because it was everything. The space-themed lamp, the pictures all over the walls of planets and stars. The dark blue walls that matched Craig’s hat and the Red Racer poster over the boy’s bed that looked old and well loved. Slowly spinning around in a circle, amazed at how wonderful the room felt compared to the rest of the house, Tweek found himself smiling, unable to stop himself.

Seeing Tweek’s expression, Craig’s blue eyes softened. It wasn’t quite a smile, but Tweek knew how to make it one. Not bothering to curb his grin, Tweek let out a soft, squeaky giggle. Instantly, the corners of Craig’s mouth turned up, leaving a warmth blossoming in Tweek’s chest. It was so good to make Craig smile, it made the rest of the terrifying house worth it.

As if only just remembering why he’d brought Tweek up there, Craig’s eyes widened and he suddenly hurried over to his closet. “Come on, I want to show you something.” Following the boy tentatively, still smiling, Tweek peered around him as Craig opened his closet door to reveal a cage. Fussing with it a moment, Craig muttered, “Come on boy, Tweek’s not going to hurt you.”

There was a soft squeak, then Craig turned around, holding out a small brown and white lump of fur. Tweek’s eyes widened as he watched the usually stoic boy coo softly to the small animal, petting it as if to calm it down. Remembering second grade, when Craig had brought his pet to class, Tweek realized what it was. “A guinea pig!” he exclaimed, twitching as he hurried to get closer.

“Yeah! This is my second one.” Craig said, sounding almost proud, like a father talking about his son. “His name is Stripe.” Tweek, who was busy putting his thermos down so he had his hands free, giggled at Craig’s words. _So he still hasn’t found a better name…_ “What?” Craig asked with a frown, tilting his head even as he kept petting the fluffy creature that he kept cradled against his chest.

 _Did I do something wrong?_ “Your –ngh- first guinea pig was n-named Stripe,” Tweek hurried to explain, his eyes widening again. “So you’ve named two of them Stripe now! Why didn’t you name it something different? What, is this Stipe Two?” Suddenly, he slapped a hand over his mouth, painfully aware that he was rambling. _Oh god, I sound so stupid. Why do I do this, why am I such a fuck-up? Craig’s going to think I’m weird and he’s going to throw me out!_

“You remember that.” It wasn’t a question, it was a slack-jawed statement. Craig’s eyes were wide and even though his expression hadn’t changed much, there was wonder in his eyes. Nervous, Tweek nodded, struggling not to let out any loud sounds that would scare Stripe. “No one ever remembers that. Not even Token and Clyde.”

Blinking, Tweek stuttered, “B-but you brought him in during second grade! I remember you did!” Craig just kept staring at him, as if he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Feeling uncomfortable and needing to break this train of conversation off, Tweek dropped to his knees with a thump and asked quietly, “C-can I hold him?”

“If he lets you,” Craig said, before showing Tweek how best to hold the fluffy creature. Mimicking Craig to the best of his ability, Tweek’s heart leaped when Craig put Stripe II in his hands. At first, the Guinea pig struggled, and Tweek almost dropped him, but then he started petting the small creature and Stripe calmed down. Craig just watched, as though he’d never seen anything like it.

“Hey S-stripe,” Tweek said softly, looking down into the beady eyes of the soft animal. _He’s so soft…_ “You’re really cool.” _Just like your owner._ Carefully, he stroked the animal, marveling in how he stilled almost entirely, allowing himself to rest against Tweek’s chest and arm as the boy pet him. Animals had never much liked Tweek, often seeming to find him too alarming, but Craig’s pet didn’t seem to mind him at all, just like the boy himself.

Suddenly, the room plunged into darkness and Tweek let out a yelp that he couldn’t stop. _OH GOD, WHAT’S GOING ON!?!_ “CRAIG?!” he all but shrieked as his eyes denied him vision as they attempted to adjust to the lack of light. _JESUS IT’S THE ALIENS, THEY’VE COME TO EAT ME!!_ Holding Stripe tightly so he didn’t escape, Tweek flung his head around, his heart thumping wildly as he tried to find something, _anything,_ in the gloom. “JESUS MAN, WHERE ARE-”

“I’m right here dude,” Craig said, his voice coming out of nowhere. There was a _doff_ sound as the boy plopped down next to Tweek. “Calm down, I wanted to show you one more thing.” Suddenly, he felt Craig’s hand on his shoulder and Tweek squeaked as he was pushed backward onto the carpet. Stripe went with him, sitting on his stomach calmly as if this was entirely normal.

“C-Craig, what’s going o-” Suddenly, Tweek found his voice dying in his throat as his eyes widened. Because above them, like a mini galaxy, was a smattering of glowing stars. They were those glue on plastic kind, arranged carefully on the ceiling, their various shapes and sizes precisely set out, stretched from one end of the room to the other.

A moment later, Tweek was aware of Craig’s shoulder pressing up against his own as the boy lay down next to him. “Look,” he said, and Tweek could just make out the boy’s hand, pointing at the ceiling. “That’s Ursa Major right there,” he told Tweek, pointing out one particular grouping of stars. “And that one is Ursa Minor,” he continued, moving his finger. “And there’s Orion, see the belt?”

And like that, Tweek could feel his heart stop, because, in that moment, he wasn’t trapped in his own body, stuck with his paranoia and twitchiness and problems. He was simply sailing through Space with Craig, and it felt wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww... Yeah, it's shameless fluff. I couldn't help myself. The next chapter will have some minor plot advancement so come on, don't kill me just yet.


	19. Your Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say that I literally love all of you? Because seriously, I do. You're all so amazing, I can hardly stand it. 
> 
> I mean the last chapters were nothing but fluff but you still liked them!! What have I done to deserve this!?
> 
> There is no way to properly express my gratitude, so instead, here's another chapter.
> 
> Enjoy.

“I’m going out!” Craig shouted, half-way out the door, still zipping up his coat.

“No one cares!” hollered back Ruby from another room, which was true.

Shutting the door behind him, Craig walked down his front steps, gloved hands in his pockets. Feeling his phone vibrate, Craig pulled it out, checking the screen. **_[You still coming dude?]_** _Clyde…_ Craig snorted and pulled off one of his gloves with his teeth so he could text the boy back.

 _[Yeah dude, I’m just grabbing Tweek]_ Putting his phone back in his pocket, Craig hustled down the dusky street, ignoring the people he passed. It was Friday night and after being ungrounded at last, he was going to hang out with his friends and bring Tweek along while he was at it. If he was going to be friends with the twitchy blond, which he already was, he’d rather his old friends accept the boy as well.

Which is why, after much cajoling, Craig had gotten Tweek to get permission to go with him to Token’s house and also convinced the boy to come at all. It hadn’t been easy, but seeing as they’d spent the past four days hanging out while they were suspended and _supposedly_ grounded, Craig had found plenty of opportunities to convince him.

He’d never had so much fun while grounded. He almost wished it could continue just so he could hang out with Tweek even more. He’d spent hours sprawled out on Tweek’s floor while the boy scribbled away on his notepad, drawing one horror or another while he babbled on about his latest conspiracy theory. Conversely, Tweek had spent hours at his house, learning the constellations as Craig taught them to him while playing with Stripe.

Craig was still blown away that Tweek had remembered his guinea pig from second grade. It had been so underwhelming, Craig had hardly remembered it himself, but Tweek had and it had filled him with warmth. That’s what the blond did though he made Craig feel like the world might not be quite as shitty as he’d once suspected it was.

Turning down Tweek’s street, Craig counted the houses under his breath, even though he didn’t need to. Coming to the familiar mahogany façade, Craig confidently walked up the front walk and up to the door. Rapping knuckles against the door, Craig waited patiently as scurrying footsteps approached the door.

Flinging open the door, Tweek Tweak brightened at once when he saw Craig. It was amazing, the way his face lit up like Christmas lights whenever the Noirette showed up. It used to be it took something to make Tweek smile, but when it was just the two of them, the blond just seemed naturally more inclined to joy. “Craig!” he squeaked. His coat was, predictably, buttoned incorrectly and his gloves that he was struggling to pull on were inside out but he wasn’t running away in terror so Craig considered it a win.

“Ready to go?” he asked blandly, watching as Tweek did several revolutions looking for his thermos  before dashing back into the house and coming back with the silver container clutched between his hands. As the blond shook it, probably making sure it was full, Craig commented, “If you need more coffee, Token’s got this fancy expresso maker. Come on dude, let’s get going.”

Glancing up at him with wide green eyes, Tweek dithered for a moment, probably trying to decide if it was actually okay to trouble someone else for coffee, before whipping his head around and calling, “I’m going out M-Mom!”

From somewhere inside the house, a high voice called, “Okay sweetie, have a good day at school.”

Without even bothering to correct her Tweek hurried to close the door behind him. Craig frowned slightly at the answer Tweek’s mom had given him, but when he felt one of Tweek’s hands tug on his sleeve, he decided to forget about it. “Grrr- A-are you sure they’re going to be okay with this?” Tweek asked nervously, twitching.

“Yeah, they’re going to be fine,” Craig assured him, before starting towards Token’s house, a little more slowly than he would have if it had just been him. The blonde’s legs were shorter than his and he didn’t want to pull him over accidentally. Walking to the end of Tweek’s street, Craig glanced down the road to make sure they were safe before attempting to cross, only to have Tweek let out a screech.

“GHA!! YOU’RE GONNA GET HIT!!!” Stopping, Craig turned back to look at Tweek, who was shivering and staring at him in fear. Looking back at the road, Craig once again confirmed that no one was coming before turning back to Tweek and tilting his head.

“There’s no one coming dude,” he pointed out. Even though this was true, he stepped back away from the curb so that Tweek could calm down. Clinging to Craig’s sleeve harder, Tweek huddled up close to him and whipped his head around, looking down all the streets he could see.

“W-what if someone was drunk and they didn’t see us and they ran us over!!” Tweek yelped, shaking. “Do you have any idea how many people are killed every year because of drunk drivers!? Ten thousand!!” Sighing slightly, Craig reached out his free hand and patted Tweek’s hair.

“We’ll be fine. I promise we’re not going to get hit.” Sometimes, he thought Tweek knew too much for his own good. Of course Tweek insisted that he needed to know stuff like that, but the Noirette often wondered if maybe Tweek knew a little less, he’d be happier. “We only have to cross two streets to get to Token’s house and this is one of them.” It was the long way, but if it helped Tweek calm down, then Craig would gladly take the long way around.

Letting out a soft whimper, Tweek nodded his head shakily, still worried. “Just look where you’re going man,” he mumbled, looking down at his feet as if embarrassed at his own worry. Humoring him, Craig looked both ways several times before walking across the street.

As they walked past lit houses, Tweek let out a soft, “Rrr,” before blurting out, “I was online yesterday and I found something really cool.” It was funny how worried he sounded about telling Craig this, as if maybe the taller boy would make fun of him. “You know,” he continued, his voice faltering. “B-because w-we were talking about stuff and I just thought…” His voice died away and Craig looked down at him.

“What did you find?” Craig asked in his usual monotone. He could think of any number of things it could be, considering how much they’d talked over the last couple of weeks, but even if he could have guessed, he could tell that Tweek had been excited about telling him. Anything that made Tweek excited was something he wanted to hear about from the blond. Probably because there was so much that just worried Tweek.

“W-well remember how you were complaining about how you don’t have small enough stars to represent the really far away ones?” Tweek asked, hugging his thermos to himself as if just the presence of coffee made him feel better. “Well I was looking and I found some really small ones online.” Suddenly grabbing Craig’s hand and lifting it up, he insisted, “Th-they’re like the size of your pinkie nail man!”

 _Of course he’d find something like that…_ “That’s awesome,” Craig told the nervous blond, eliciting a tentative grin from him. “It would be really cool to fill in my ceiling.” He could just picture his star map, with those little distant stars finally filled in. _I wonder if Tweek would help me put them up…_ “I should get them.”

“A-actually, I already got them,” Tweek said very fast, twitching. “I- I just –ngh- My mom thought I wanted them so she just- I- I’M SORRY, OH GOD!” As he inevitably panicked and dropped his thermos, Craig tried to catch it. He missed. Cursing mentally, Craig dipped down and snatched up the silver container.

“That’s really cool Tweek,” Craig said, pausing so he could fix Tweek with a serious look. “Thank you.” Then he handed the shivering boy his thermos and Tweek let go of his sleeve so he could open the top and gulp down whatever coffee was leftover in it.

“You aren’t m-mad?” Tweek asked once he’d calmed down enough not to scream. Craig didn’t bother with a verbal answer, he just shook his head. _I don’t think he could do anything to make me upset._ Seemingly satisfied for now that Craig wasn’t going to explode at him, Tweek grabbed the boy’s sleeve once more and they kept walking.

The rest of the walk to Token’s house was in peaceful silence. Tweek was like that sometimes, totally willing to be quiet when the situation called for it. Craig liked the comfortable quiet just as much as he liked their conversations, which was saying something because usually he liked silence quite a lot. But with Tweek, it didn’t really matter, as long as the blond was around, he felt content.

Even though it took them quite a lot longer than it would have if Craig had been on his own, they finally got to the tall gates that closed Token’s house off from the rest of South Park. Seeing them, Tweek let out a screech and huddled behind Craig. “OH GOD! Are you sure I’m allowed inside?? I-I don’t belong here! Maybe I should just-”

“Relax,” Craig told him evenly, pulling him forward towards the intimidating gates. “I’ve got the code to get in, you’ll be fine.” Punching said code in, Craig pulled the boy through the gates and waited for them to shut behind him. Tweek jumped at the sound, but Craig had expected that. Grabbing the boy’s small hand, Craig coaxed him forward, careful not to let him trip over his own shuffling feet.

“T-Token really lives here?” Tweek asked softly, his voice at a whisper. As his fear slipped away, giving way to wonder, the boy stared at everything, his eyes wide. Craig , who’d had the same reaction many times before, snorted.

“Yeah, he lives here,” he confirmed, looking around himself. Usually this path made him feel small, but with Tweek there with him, Craig almost felt taller than he really was. There was a rustling in one of the bushes and he didn’t complain as Tweek pressed himself to Craig’s side in fear.

“OH JESUS, IT’S A MONSTER!!” he shrieked, his shaking increasing dramatically. “IT’S GONNA EAT ME!!” Squeezing Craig’s hand like he was trying to strangle it, Tweek buried his head in the back of Craig’s coat and exclaimed, in a muffled voice, “I’m too young to die!!”

Craig was about to say it was nothing when he heard a snuffling. “It’s just Token’s dogs,” Craig amended, entirely calm. “Don’t worry, they’re only there to scare off intruders.” As if summoned by him mentioning them, the three big German Sheppard and Rottweiler mixes trundled out of the bushes, their eyes all fixed on Tweek.

Looking at them, Craig said, “Come on guys, you know me.” One of the dogs brought its head up and woofed softly. Tweek let out a scream. “Dude, they’re not going to eat you,” Craig reassured, holding out his free hand to beckon the dogs forward. Perking up, the three dogs trotted forward towards him.

“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!!” Tweek screeched, his twitching getting worse. “CHRIST, THEY COULD BITE MY HEAD OFF!!” One of the dogs got closer and nudged Tweek’s elbow, to which he screamed again. “AUGHGHGH!!!”

“Come on, they’re harmless,” Craig told him evenly. Extending his hand, Craig stroked the dog closest to them, scratching him behind the ears. As this one also nudged the shaking Tweek, Craig sighed and used the hand that was still holding Tweek’s to pull the boy forward. “Look, they just need to get to know you.” As if on cue, one of the dogs sat down at Tweek’s feet, looking up at him expectantly.

Tentatively, Tweek reached out his hand, almost like he was expecting it to get bitten off. After sniffing at it, the first dog gave Tweek’s palm a lick. “Th-they aren’t going to eat me?” Tweek asked in wonder, slowly running his fingers through the dog’s fur, his eyes wide and shocked. As if jealous that their friend was getting all the attention, the other two dogs crowded in, going so far as to nudge Craig aside.

Finding himself smiling at the way the dogs had reacted to Tweek, Craig said, “Nah dude, they’re cool.” After letting Tweek pet the dogs for a while, Craig gave his hand a tug. “Come on, let’s find Token.” Almost reluctant now that he’d made new friends in the animals, Tweek gave them each one last pat before walking after Craig.

Leading Tweek through the side door and past the roaring fireplace with minimal effort, Craig opened the door to the basement and was instantly greeted with the sounds of a video game playing in the background. Looking to Tweek, Craig let go of his hand and nudged him forward. “You’ll be fine,” he murmured.

As Tweek nervously crept down the stairs and towards the light, Craig heard Jimmy saying, “S-so then the S-s-social worker asks, ‘W-w-well how do you tell them apart?’ to which the wo- the wo-o- The woman answers, ‘I just call them by their last names.’.” As they finally moved down far enough for Craig to see the room and his friends, Clyde let out a laugh and Token rolled his eyes. Grinning, Jimmy said, “Wow, w-what a great audience.”

“Hey assholes,” Craig called, catching the back of Tweek’s coat just in time to keep him from falling down the rest of the stairs when he jumped in surprise. At once, everyone’s heads swiveled.

“CRAIG!” Clyde joyfully exclaimed, not caring when the car he’d been driving in the video game crashed, killing his character.

As Tweek and he reached level ground, Craig didn’t stop the shivering blond from hiding behind him once more, his free hand buried in Craig’s coat. From the armchair, Token lifted a hand in greeting. “Craig, Tweek! It’s good to see you too.” Craig just raised an eyebrow while Tweek let out a half-scream.

“Oh yes, h-h-h-how are you Tweek?” Jimmy asked brightly. Tweek didn’t respond, he just clutched the back of Craig’s jacket harder and twitched violently.

Clyde, naturally, was the most exuberant of the three. Tossing the controller to Jimmy and almost face planting as he tripped over his own feet, the boy raced over to Tweek and Craig. All but dragging Tweek out from behind Craig, Clyde fixed Tweek with a pitiful expression and said, “Tweek, I’m so sorry for supporting you and Craig fighting! I didn’t know it would turn out like it did!!”

Clearly shell-shocked at Clyde’s sudden apology, Tweek just stared dumbly at the boy, probably on the verge of screaming. Then Clyde decided to hug the shorter boy and Tweek wouldn’t have been able to escape if he tried. Looking up at Craig in panic as the brunette continued to wail about how horrible he’d been, Tweek awkwardly patted Clyde’s back, even as he trembled and twitched.

“I-It’s fine,” Tweek mumbled, clearly terrified.

“Clyde,” Token called from where he sat. “Let him go, you’re scaring him.” Instantly, Clyde released Tweek and took several steps back. “He’s right though Tweek, we’re sorry for not doing more to stop the fight.” Starting to think that Tweek might never move, Craig bumped up against the boy, bringing him out of his fearful silence.

“It’s not your fault!” Tweek burst out, twitching hard.

Grinning, Clyde grabbed Tweek’s free hand and dragged him over to the couch. “I knew you’d forgive us Tweek!” Though he didn’t like how much the boy was scaring Tweek, Craig decided that it wasn’t worth getting worked up over. Sitting Tweek down between him and Jimmy, Clyde continued, “We’re in the middle of playing GTA5, wanna play?”

Whipping his head around to stare at Craig as if waiting for his cue, Tweek stammered, “I-I don’t- I’ve never played-” Clyde didn’t even let him finish, he was too busy launching into a rundown of how to play the game. Watching Tweek for a few more seconds, glad that his friends were accepting him so easily, Craig ambled over to the bar where he grabbed a coke and walked over to where Token sat.

Sitting down on one end of the love seat, Craig watched silently as Tweek struggled to follow Clyde’s instructions while also listening to Jimmy’s helpful tips. Of course he’d expected them to welcome Tweek pretty quickly. He’d been texting his friends pretty frequently about the boy after all, simply because he’d been spending so much time with them. All it had taken for Clyde to decide that Tweek might not be so bad after all was finding out that he liked Red Racer.

“That was fast,” Token commented softly, so only Craig could hear him. Watching as Clyde grabbed the controller from Tweek before quickly shoving it back into the blonde’s hands, Craig had to admit, Token was right. It hadn’t taken long for Clyde to decide that Tweek absolutely had to be part of their friends.

“Yeah,” Craig agreed flatly, taking a sip of his soda. “But you know Clyde, once he decides he’s going to be friends with someone, nothing stops him.”

“That wasn’t what I was talking about,” Token commented, surprising Craig somewhat. Though he didn’t show it on his face, Craig still turned slightly towards the black boy. Token was watching him with that thoughtful expression that he wore so often when he was working his way through a problem silently.

“What then?” Craig muttered, turning away from the boy so he could watch Tweek. It seemed like the blond had mostly gotten a handle on the basic controls of the game and was now merely screeching every time he almost hit someone. Remembering Tweek’s statistics on drunk drivers, Craig had to snort softly.

“You and Tweek.” Craig brought his head around quickly so he could stare at Token. He wasn’t sure what the boy was trying to say by that, but he didn’t let the suspicious feeling show. As if he could read Craig’s mind anyway, Token continued, “You two became friends pretty fast.”

“Well, yeah,” Craig said, shifting in his seat slightly. The way Token said it, Craig couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. “What did you expect?” _Of course we became friends._ But when Craig tried to find a reason for it, he couldn’t figure out what it was. _It’s just he’s… Tweek. What else was I supposed to do?_

“Nothing,” Token said smoothly. Still suspicious, Craig stared at the black boy for a moment later, waiting for him to say something else, but he seemed to have said what he wanted to. Thought it made him feel a little stupid, Craig was mildly relieved that Token hadn’t asked why he’d become friends with Tweek because he wouldn’t have been able to answer him.

As his avatar crashed into a building, Tweek let out a string of curses that made Clyde cackle and Jimmy grin. Passing the controller to Jimmy, the blond twitched and smiled tentatively, seemingly relaxing. Reaching for his thermos, which he’d left on the coffee table in front of the couch, Tweek squawked suddenly. Instantly knowing what it was about, Craig turned to Token and asked, “Hey, can Tweek use your coffee maker?”

“Sure,” the boy said easily. “If he can figure it out, I don’t know how to use it.” The Noirette didn’t blame Token, he’d seen the machine himself and he hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of it either. _Tweek’ll know how to use it._ Nodding, Craig got to his feet and beckoned the worried looking Tweek forward, nudging him away from the other boys. Following Craig as always, the blond fiddled with his thermos quietly as they walked back up the stairs.

“So,” Craig began, walking towards the kitchen. “What do you think of my friends?” Craig had found that the more specific he could be, the less likely Tweek would be to freak out about the question. It was just a little something, and he did it easily. Anything to keep from stressing Tweek out any more than necessary.

“Th-they’re pretty cool,” Tweek admitted, though Craig could feel the boy latch onto his sleeve as he spoke. Twitching, the blond said, “Are you sure they’re okay with me man?”

“Totally,” Craig insisted before reaching over and patting Tweek’s hair. “So will you hang out with us more often?” Jerking his head up to look at Craig, Tweek fixed him with those impossibly green eyes. In the modern lighting of Token’s kitchen, with several smaller lights instead of one big one, Craig could have sworn he saw a galaxy in those eyes.

“Are you sure you want me too?” Tweek mumbled.

Bumping his shoulder against Tweek’s, Craig said, “Yeah, we do.”

Thinking it over for a moment, twitching as he did so, Tweek finally said, “I-if you’re –ngh- sure… Then y-yeah, I’d like to.”

Craig didn’t respond, all he had to do was smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, they're all friends.
> 
> There should be, like, one more chapter of fluff before we start heading into the Stick of Truth plotline. That should be fun. I've still got to work out the semantics (haha, get it, cause of the title... Okay, I'll shut up.) but we're almost there!!
> 
> Just as a warning, I might not post tomorrow. I have an 8-hour shift. If I can finish another chapter today though, I'll post that tomorrow.


	20. The Great Divide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting yesterday!! I didn't get home till super late and I just didn't have the time!! 
> 
> That's okay though, right? I got up at five so I could finish this early and get it posted!
> 
> You all are so wonderful, I can hardly believe it. I hope you like this chapter, it's got the beginnings of some plot *cackles madly*
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek had a lot of tics, things he did when he was nervous or when he was freaking out. He had ones for when he was feeling awkward or even on the rare occasions he was happy. Sometimes, when he thought about it, he had to admit that he wore his emotions on his sleeve. Everyone knew what he was thinking, probably because he didn't bother to hide a thing. Of course, the argument could be made that he couldn't hide anything but those were just details.

If someone got to know him, they probably grew familiar with his tics, the hair pulling, the screaming, the head-banging. Heck, you didn't even need to get to know him to know when something had him upset. Because he'd tell you, he'd scream it at the ceiling.

Those were Tweek's tics and everyone was used to them. Tweek himself had sort of just gotten used to them, reasoning that everyone had tics and he was no different. Kenny played with his parka strings and Kyle tugged on his curly hair and Stan tapped his pencil, no one got away with being completely unreadable.

Except, Tweek had thought, for Craig. The Noirette didn't have tics. He was an impenetrable wall and anyone who thought differently was merely deluding themselves. No matter what happened, Craig didn't let any of it show. At least, that's what Tweek had believed.

But as Tweek got to know Craig, got closer to the stoic boy, he'd started to realize that even Craig showed his emotions sometimes. Of course, his tics were a lot harder to spot, but Tweek had a lot of time to figure out what they were. Though he didn't stare at Craig like the Noirette used to stare at him, Tweek still found himself watching sometimes, unable to quite look away.

Craig tugged on his hat. That was one of his tics. He only did it when something made him feel uncomfortable so he didn't do it often, but Tweek had discovered that whenever the boy subconsciously made that particular move, he was mildly distressed for one reason or another. It could have been  _anything_  that was making him feel off, but Tweek wasn't good enough to guess what was going on inside Craig's head, much less guess what things were in there that made him upset. The fact that he could identify this discomfort, however, despite not knowing what caused it, was something that the blond liked to consider progress.

When it came to Craig, it was best to consider most anything progress, otherwise the whole thing got to be rather discouraging.

"Now Tweek, can you tell us what the answer is?" The question jolted him back to the present painfully.  _Wait, he wants me to answer a question?! WHAT QUESTION?!_

"GHA! PRESSURE!" Tweek screeched, yanking on his hair as his eyes rolled.  _I didn't even have my hand raised why is he calling on me?! Make it stop, I didn't do anything wrong! What if I answer incorrectly and Mr. Garrison kills me?! Oh Jesus! I don't want to die!_

The weight and heat of his thermos bumped against his chest suddenly, startling Tweek out of his own panic. Grabbing it, Tweek struggled to undo the lid only to find that it had already been partially removed. As he gratefully sucked down the coffee inside, settling his nerves, a hand carded through his hair, gradually calming him down.

_It's okay, they're not going to kill me. The question isn't even that hard._  Staring up at the board for a moment, Tweek nervously answered, "F-forty-three?" Mr. Garrison stared at him for a moment, before nodding.

"Yes, that's correct, thank you Tweek." The hand in his hair vanished and Tweek quickly glanced to his side. From where he sat in his new seat beside Tweek, Craig tugged on the brim of his chullo. His blue eyes were fixed resolutely on his paper, but Tweek still smiled at him.

This was all very new, Tweek was still rather unsure how it had happened. One day, Craig had been sitting almost all the way across the room from him, the next, he'd been moved to the seat beside Tweek and Red, the girl who had previously had that seat, had been relegated back to Craig's seat. At first, it had made Tweek panic because  _OH JESUS WHY DOES HE WANT TO SIT NEXT TO ME?_ But that had quickly changed.

Because Craig remained the only one who could calm him down. It turned out, once Tweek was no longer yanking on his hair and screaming every few minutes, he was actually pretty smart. With Craig's help, Tweek was actually able to pay attention in class and even answer questions. Though Craig acted like he could care less about the whole thing, Tweek suspected he cared at least a little because every time Tweek found himself panicking, the Noirette was there with his thermos and a hand in his hair.

Then he'd go back to listening as he tugged his hat down over his forehead.

_I wonder how he managed to get his seat switched._  It was unbelievable that he'd managed it because if there was one thing teachers didn't change, it was seating. They put kids where they wanted and left them there like it was writ in stone.  _I wonder if he promised them something in exchange for getting this seat?_  Because why else would teachers have let Craig arbitrarily change where he was sitting. It certainly didn't have anything to do with Tweek because the teachers didn't give a shit about what happened to the twitchy blond, they'd just keep lecturing regardless.

_Oh god, what if he did something horrible so they'd let him sit here? What if he killed someone so they wouldn't argue with him!? Craig wouldn't do that, right?_  Tweek shivered at the idea, the image of Craig standing over someone with a knife or gun in his hand, blood all over his clothing, that same blank expression on his face.  _OH GOD!_  But no, that couldn't be it because Craig wasn't a monster. No matter which way you cut it, there was no way he'd do something like that.

_But what if the teachers are making him do something?_  Tweek's mind quickly started spinning out of control as the math lesson faded from his head.  _What if he promised something in return for sitting here!? No, I'm not that important._  But what if they hadn't given him a choice? _Oh Jesus, what if he's being used as a drug mule?!_

That was something he'd learned about just this last week and he wished he didn't know because the idea of being cut open and then sewn back together with drugs inside of you was frankly terrifying. _WHAT IF THEY DID THAT TO CRAIG!? What if they're making him carry drugs for them in exchange for sitting next to me?! NO, I'M NOT THAT IMPORTANT!_

Okay, so maybe not drugs. Besides, the chances that the teachers of South Park being involved in a drug ring, while higher than the chances would be at most schools, was still pretty low. So he probably didn't need to be worried about them hacking Craig open with unsanitary tools and stuffing dirty drugs into him.

_But if not that, then what did he promise them?_  Mind spinning, Tweek thumped his head against his desk with a scream. Almost at once, a hand landed in his hair, not even moving, just lending warmth and weight. Gulping down lungfuls of air, Tweek turned once more to Craig as if his face would give anything away. Nothing, he wasn't even looking Tweek's way. It was amazing that after so many months of staring at the blond non-stop, the Noirette had so easily gone back to hardly glancing at anyone.

_If they don't want drugs, then what do they want from him? What can Craig even give them?_  Except for the finger and a whole lot of nothingness to boot.  _OH JESUS!_  A thought hit him and he twitched hard.  _What if they did something else? What if he paid them with his body to change seats? What if the teachers raped him and that's the only reason he's allowed to sit next to me!?_

Child prostitution happened to be one of the other Wikipedia articles that he'd happened upon. The details had been graphic enough to scar him.  _What if he sold his body just so he could sit next to me?! God, fuck, I don't think I can handle this! It's too much, he can't have done that! He can't do something like that to me!_

On the verge of screaming, Tweek trembled as he watched Craig with wide eyes. As if finally realizing he was being watched so intently, the Noirette turned his head slightly and fixed Tweek with a flat, calm expression. Quietly, as if he actually cared what the teacher thought, Craig said, "I'm fine Tweek." Almost like he could read the blonde's mind, almost as if he'd gone into Tweek's brain and plucked out exactly what was bothering him.

At Craig's reassurance, Tweek found his heart rate going back to normal. Because sure, Craig had been moved so he was sitting next to him now, but that didn't mean he'd asked for it. More than likely, the teachers had just been glad for something to calm Tweek down. No doubt Mr. Garrison had jumped on the idea that Tweek wouldn't spend all of class screaming and hitting his head on the desk. If Craig could calm him down, then, of course, the teachers  _would_  use him for that purpose. It made perfect sense, even to Tweek.

Feeling slightly less like screaming, Tweek turned back to his paper.

It had been a week since they'd gotten back from their suspension and already, Tweek and Craig had become inseparable. Everywhere the Noirette went, Tweek followed, and if you saw the blond on his own, there was little doubt that Craig would be along quite shortly. Before school and after school, they could always be found side by side. If you talked to one, you talked to both of them and if one of them was somewhere, the other wasn't far behind.

Tweek still wasn't quite sure what to think of the new arrangement. He wasn't used to having someone always there for him and he definitely wasn't accustomed to having a friend. Craig, as far as Tweek could tell, was perfect on both counts. He was always around, always looking out for the blond, and he always made sure that Tweek had someone to talk to. At lunch and recess, Tweek sat with Craig's friends now, but when they weren't sitting with them, Craig was sitting with him.

Sometimes, when Tweek couldn't handle the cafeteria, they'd end up together in the alley behind the school. Craig never complained, even though it smelled like cigarette smoke back there and Kenny had already shown up once, he just followed Tweek dutifully and sat beside him, his usual flat expression plastered on his face.

All in all, Tweek liked it, liked kind of being part of a package deal. It meant that when Craig was involved in something, so was he. Since that first time over at Token's house, Tweek had hung out with Craig's friends several more times. When he wasn't, he was either at Craig's house or Craig at the blond's. He'd never had somewhere else to go after school and he loved it. Of course, there would probably be days when he ended up helping out down at the coffee shop, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Craig would go too, just to keep him company.

The bell rang for recess, but Tweek didn't race to put his stuff away, instead, he let himself take his time, actually keeping his papers and such neat as he put them away instead of shoving everything in at once. Craig waited for him, his eyes cool, his face flat. Tweek twitched under his eyes, but it was more a habit and an uncontrollable thing than a sign of actual nerves. Craig's presence was no longer uncomfortable, if anything, it was a comfort.

Picking up his backpack, Tweek wordlessly latched onto Craig's jacket so he wouldn't be pulled and pushed by the kids out in the hall and followed the boy out of the classroom. "Want to sit outside today?" Craig asked as they reached the Noirette's locker. Tweek wasn't sure if he was used to someone caring about his opinion, it was a little distressing at times, having to make decisions like that, but he sort of liked it regardless.

"Ngh- Th-that would be fine!" he squeaked, sipping at his coffee as he watched Craig stuff everything into his crowded locker before slamming the door closed, making Tweek jump. Watching him impassively for a moment, long enough for Tweek to wonder if he'd said something wrong, Craig nodded.

"Okay." He was so calm about everything, Tweek often wondered if he really had an opinion at all. He wouldn't have really been able to make this mistake though because Craig displayed a strong enough opinion on some things to counteract his blasé attitude about others. Tweek liked that about Craig, his willingness to go with whatever life threw at him. The blond wished he could do that, but it was all or nothing with him usually. Either he let someone else make all the decisions for him, or he agonized over each one and freaked out when things didn't go the way he'd expected.

Of course with Craig, it was different. He could trust the Noirette to make the right choice because Craig had never led him wrong yet.

Herding him over to the blond's locker, Craig commented, "We're hanging out at Token's tonight. Want me to drop by and pick you up?" That was one of Craig's other little habits, walking with Tweek to Token's even though he'd have gotten there far faster on his own. Tweek liked it, liked that Craig thought about him and bothered to take the extra time to come and walk with him. Sometimes he worried that that made him clingy, but he really couldn't make himself care enough either way to change anything.

"Yes!" he said instantly, bobbing his head as he stopped at his locker. Twitching, Tweek fumbled with his locker combo but finally struggled the thing open. Putting his bag away, Tweek took a moment to make sure nothing had gone missing in the time they'd been in class. Satisfied, he shut the locker and latched onto Craig, who as usual, didn't complain.

As they walked outside, Tweek drank his coffee and stayed quiet. No one really cared about how close he stuck to Craig, if anything, people seemed to entirely understand. It was just something the people in their school were getting used to. Tweek and Craig, now not two individual people but sort of one consciousness that could be addressed as a singular entity.  _Good, it means I don't have to deal with people on my own._

The moment they got to the playground, the sounds of shouting met their ears.

"No Kyle! You're a dirty Jew rat and I don't want your dirty Jew magic on my side!" That was Cartman, standing in the middle of the playground with his other friends like they usually did. At the sight of the boy, Tweek huddled behind Craig, who simply wrapped an arm around Tweek's shoulder and pulled him close to his side, as if protecting him from Cartman and his friends.

"That's no reason to throw me off of your team fatass!" Kyle yelled back. His face was red and his hair was escaping from under his green trapper's hat.  _Oh, Jesus, he looks like he's going to explode. What if he turns into a monster and eats everyone? What if he blows up and destroys the school and we're all killed!_ Tweek twitched and trembled against Craig in fear. He didn't like Kyle angry, an angry Kyle was terrifying.

"Huh, what was that? I could have sworn I heard a Jew trying to convince me he's a good person," Cartman mocked much to Kyle's anger.  _WHAT ARE THEY EVEN FIGHTING ABOUT!? It's too much pressure!_

"What do you think they're fighting about?" Craig asked, pulling Tweek over towards the Merry go Round, Tweek's favorite piece of playground equipment. Tweek wasn't sure, but it still scared him. Even when Craig let him sit down on the faded wheel, Tweek couldn't help but turn to face the arguing boys.

"I don't know man!" he squeaked, tugging on his hair with one hand while he held on tightly with the other, forever terrified of being flung off and splatted into something at high speeds. "Gha! I wish they'd just s-stop!"

"I can be a human too!" Kyle was exclaiming, waving his hands about as he stared at Cartman, anger in his body. It was amazing how much rage one small kid could hold, Tweek was almost in awe. Craig might have been terrifying when he was angry, but Kyle was simply a force of nature. "Why the heck are you making such stupid rules. This is supposed to be a game we all play Cartman!"

"Look, I never said you couldn't play," Cartman reassured the furious boy, even as Craig started pushing the Merry-go-Round, spinning Tweek in circles that grew faster and faster. Tweek liked the feeling, almost like he was flying, yet still able to hold on to a sturdy support. "I'm just saying that you're a dirty Jew, so you have to be a Drow Elf."

"Fine then, I'll be king of the Drow Elves and I'll kick your ass!" Kyle yelled back, dislodging his hat as he yelled. His red hair looked like fire as the landscape around Tweek blurred. There was a thump as Craig jumped onto the spinning disc, right next to Tweek. Taking his free hand out of his hair, Tweek reached for Craig. The boy easily caught his hand.  _Large, calloused, gentle…_

"Nu Uh Kyle, my army is going to be way bigger. I'm going to be the Wizard King and my castle is going to be in my backyard!" Cartman shouted back. Craig shot Tweek a look that silently mocked Cartman. "And everyone is going to want to join my side because it'll be cooler than being a stupid elf!"

"Oh yeah? Well, I'll have my castle in my backyard and everyone will want to join because everyone will want to kick your ass!" Kyle argued, balling up his fists.

"Oh yeah, I've heard them talking about this," Craig said, raising one of his eyebrows. "They're all going to be medieval warriors and wizards and they're going to fight each other with magic over a stick that controls the universe." Tweek's eyes widened. It sounded exactly like something Craig would want to be a part of, considering what kind of things he was interested in and how much of an imagination he had.

"Well, Butters is going to be on my side!" Cartman called back. As the Merry-go-Round slowed, Tweek could make out the aforementioned blond nervously flicking his eyes between Kyle and Cartman as if his allegiance was news to him. It probably was.  _Butters is almost as nervous as I am after all. And at least I have Craig now._

"Well, Stan is going to be my Ranger Warrior!" Kyle fired at Cartman, advancing towards him.

"NO, He's not Kyle, because Drow Elves suck!" Cartman argued, glaring at Stan as if daring him to disagree.

"A-are you going to be part of it?" Tweek asked curiously, turning towards Craig who was slipping off of the disk so he could push the contraption around again. He was pretty sure the boy would be, he loved this sort of thing. "You could be a mage! Or –ghn- a thief or something!"

Craig shrugged. "I don't think I want to be part of it."  _He sounds regretful. Is he upset I asked him!? Oh god, what if I annoyed him by asking if he was going to play?!_ "Cartman's in charge of the game after all."  _Oh, so that's it._

From where he stood between Cartman and Kyle, Stan looked between the two of them. As he looked at Kyle, Tweek noticed the way the redhead's eyes softened momentarily and instantly he knew which way the boy was going to go. "Actually Cartman, I think I'd be an Elf," Stan admitted, going to stand beside his friend. As he went, he picked up Kyle's hat. Even from where Tweek was sitting, he could see the way Stan brushed up against the slightly shorter boy, calming him.

"Fine then!" Turning towards the rest of the kids on the playground, Cartman yelled, "If the rest of you don't want to suck, you should totally join my side, because we're way cooler than Kyle!" At his call, a fair number of boys looked up and started to get closer.

"B-but it looks like it's going to be a big game!" Tweek insisted, even as the world blurred once more and there was another thump as Craig jumped onto the Merry-go-Round. This time he was on the other side, but Tweek was still entirely aware of his position, almost like he had radar specifically calibrated to detect Craig. "It's not just gonna be Cartman!"  _Maybe I should play too. BUT WHAT IF I'M NO GOOD AT IT OH JESUS, THEY'LL ALL HATE ME!_  Clutching tighter to the metal handle, Tweek waited for Craig's response.

"I want to, but I don't want to be around someone who hurt you," Craig said, his voice stiffer than usual, not as flat as it generally was. He almost sounded upset. Tweek shivered, worried that he'd been the one to piss Craig off.  _But he's upset with Cartman, right? So he wouldn't be upset with me!_

"What about you Kenny, come be on our side!" Kyle looked at the blond, who let out a laugh that Tweek could hear even over the squeaking of the playground equipment. "You can be a mage."

"Actually, I'm thinking I'll be a princess," Kenny said.

Cartman, seizing on the idea at once, said, "Yes, you'd make a great ruler, Princess Kenny." Suddenly struck with an image of Kenny in a pink dress, Tweek wasn't sure if he should laugh or scream.

"Oh please!" Kyle snapped, glaring at the other boys. "Kenny, you can't be a princess, you're not a chick!"

"Hey! Watch your mouth, you Jew! That's Lady McCormick to you!" Cartman bellowed, making Kenny giggle in an obscenely high-pitched way that made even Craig snort. As the Merry-go-Round slowed down once again, Tweek saw Kenny leaning on Butters' shoulder.

"What do you think Butterscotch, do you think I'd make a pretty chick?" Kenny asked teasingly, pulling on a strand of the unfortunate boy's hair.

"W-well gee Kenny, I-I think you're a pretty boy, s-so you sure'd make a pretty girl too," Butters stammered, looking at his feet. Kenny, true to form, only laughed.

"Sorry Kyle, looks like I have my side already."

As the disk stopped spinning, Tweek crawled under the bars to where Craig sat, facing away from the group. Nervously, Tweek said, "I- I wouldn't be upset Craig! You don't have to do everything for me." It made him scared to say, half of him just sort of expected the boy to get up and leave once Tweek said he could, but Craig just tugged on his chullo in that way he did when he was uncomfortable.

"If you play with me, then I'll play their game," Craig said softly, not looking at Tweek.

Feeling warmth bubble up in his chest, Tweek grinned. "Then I want to play!"  _As long as Craig is around, I'll be fine._  And to be honest, he really believed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we see how it begins. As we make our way into the Stick of Truth plotline, it'll all get significantly more dramatic.
> 
> I'm so sorry for not replying to any of you, I'll do my best, I promise!!


	21. Undefeatable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, I really should have posted this yesterday because I missed a day, but I'm weak and only got two-thirds of it done before my new medicine kicked in. I've been horribly tired recently, but I'll make it through. This whole thing is getting too exciting to do otherwise. 
> 
> This chapter, can I just say, was so much fun to write, mostly because I play D&D and so the whole role-playing aspect of this has me like o(≧∇≦o) This is gonna be too much fun
> 
> Thank you all again for being so wonderful in understanding my taking a day off. I'll do my best not to have to do that often, but sometimes it'll be unavoidable. I'll make sure to tell you when I have to do it!!
> 
> Enjoy.

"And then the Grand Wizard King used Flame Strike, which totally defeated the two Elves in our way," Clyde said excitedly from Token's coffee table, now his stage. "But then the Elven King distracted him. I, of course, went right for the stick. No one was going to get in my way!" From behind the bar, Craig rolled his eyes as Clyde brandished his wooden sword. He couldn't deny that the story was pretty fucking epic, but he wasn't going to just say that.

Tweek, on the other hand, was on the edge of his seat, staring at Clyde in awe, no qualms in showing his exuberance. "Did you g-get it?" the blond asked, his tone excited. Without anyone looking at him, Craig didn't feel bad about smiling slightly at his enthusiasm. "What happened?!"

Crouching low, Clyde said, in a hushed stage whisper, "Lady McCormick and I were so close, the stick was in our sights. I was defending her as she shot the Drow Elves in our path with her bow, nothing could possibly stop us, but then!" He started forward, eliciting a squeak from Tweek. "Chris Donnely intercepted us."

"Isn't he that blond kid?" Token asked, glancing up from his book with mild interest that Craig knew only too well held a genuine fascination. "I didn't realize he'd sided with Kyle." Craig had to admit, his friends had really gotten into the game, despite not having joined yet, apart from Clyde. To be honest, the only reason Craig wasn't part of it as well was that he still wasn't sure if he wanted to get into something that involved Cartman.

"Yeah, but he's a level twelve Ranger now," Clyde insisted, his eyes widening. "He has fearsome power, having trained directly under Stan." Turning back to Tweek, who was serving as his main audience, Clyde continued, "I thought we'd lost already, seeing as I'm only a level six Warrior and Princess Kenny just passed level ten, but the future of Kupa Keep hung in the balance. I couldn't just give up!"

"OH JESUS, THAT'S SO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek shrieked tugging on his hair, even as he kept staring at Clyde. "What if he killed you? Did he defeat you!?" Grabbing for one of the strange grape sodas Token's family had brought back from Italy, Craig scooped up a butter knife to help him pry off the bottle top before heading back towards the couch.

"We traded blows for a bit," Clyde said, waving his sword in demonstration. "But his shots were too powerful, and I found myself disarmed. I thought all hope was lost." Popping the top of his bottle and catching the cap before it escaped him, Craig sat down next to Tweek, who only scooted over a little to make room for him. They ended up squashed together, not that Craig really cared.

"OH GOD!" Tweek screamed, twitching violently. With a short exhale of breath, Craig balanced his drink on the edge of the table Clyde was standing on so he could grab Tweek's thermos and hand it to him. Clutching at it the moment the container was close enough to grab, Tweek quickly asked, "Did you get your sword back and strike him down with Warrior's Might?"

"There was no way for me to get my sword back, I was at his mercy!" Clyde exclaimed. Tweek screeched and fumbled with his coffee, trying to open his thermos to get at the coffee inside. Patiently, Craig unscrewed the lid for Tweek before taking a drink of his own soda.

"So what did you do?" Craig asked flatly. Turning towards him, Clyde let a smile creep over his face.

"Chris might be powerful, but the Lady McCormick had several tricks up her sleeve." With a cackle, Clyde announced, "Faced with certain death, the Princess used her greatest weapon. Her deadly charm! With the Lady's ample cleavage in his face, even a Ranger like Chris Donnely was powerless. The stick was ours!"

Token snorted and Craig rolled his eyes again but Tweek cheered, almost spilling his coffee. Wrapping his free arm around the easily excitable blonde's shoulders, Craig calmed him down almost at once, saving Token's couch from certain stains. "Then you grabbed the stick?!" Tweek clarified, still vibrating under Craig's arm.

"With Stan occupied by Paladin Butters and the Elven King caught in a vicious argument with the Grand Wizard King, there was no one left to stop me. While Princess Kenny distracted Chris, I lunged forward, seized my sword, and slashed the ties that had been placed over the stick to bind its power." Clyde's eyes shone with pride as he puffed out his chest and exclaimed. "I had the stick in my possession and was halfway back to Kupa Keep before they realized that the battle had already been won. It's now secure in the possession of the Grand Wizard King."

"OH MY GOD CLYDE!" Tweek shivered in Craig's hold, probably from pure excitement as opposed to anything else. "Did you l-level up!? Just being in the –ngh- presence of the Stick of Truth would give you more power, right? B-because that thing controls the universe!"

Clyde's sword came dangerously close to poking out Tweek's eye as he jabbed it at the blond, which made the boy scream and push himself into Craig's side. "Two levels Teacup!" Clyde announced, using the strange nickname he'd developed for the short boy. "I'm a level eight warrior now, I even learned a new move."

"That's pretty impressive," Token admitted, closing his book and setting it aside. Grabbing a clipboard that was resting on the side of his chair, the boy pulled out a pencil and started scribbling down something. "How did you say the Elven defenses were placed again?"

Leaning forward, Craig countered, "How the Elves were defending the castle doesn't matter, not when their archers are far more powerful than your basic human warrior. With Cartman's wizard powers, you have a chance, but you need something better, or you need to work with that handicap." With the free hand that wasn't wrapped around Tweek's shoulder, Craig swatted at Clyde's sword. "You've got one, but you need at least five."

"They've got Mages," Token pointed out, adding something to his clipboard full of notes.

"Grr!" Tweek twitched against Craig's side. "Th-that's not enough! Their Rangers are made to directly fight against Mages! You'll all be massacred!" He had a fair point, Rangers had a natural resistance to most battle magicks that made them perfect to fight Mages. It was quite possibly the worst case scenario for a group with primarily magic to run across a group of Rangers.

"But we won this time," Clyde pointed out. Craig had to admit that arguing about the dynamics of the fantasy world Cartman had created was rather fun. Part of him was just itching to join the game for real but he hadn't yet gotten the push that would make him do it. Ever since bringing it up that first time, Tweek had entirely dropped the idea of joining, so Craig hadn't brought it up again. "Why change a strategy that works?"

"Because now you have three mages and at least eight warriors out of commission for the next few days whereas the Elves could recoup their losses overnight," Token said, his brows furrowed in concentration as he scribbled over his clipboard. "Cartman's throwing you guys at Kyle because he has the advantage of numbers, but Kyle could recruit more people at any time, destroying that advantage. You need more skill."

_If I were part of the game, I could bring that skill. I'd probably be a thief._  Craig could still remember that being one of Tweek's suggestions for what character he could be. Considering how good he was getting at sneaking into Tweek's room without even alerting the blond to his presence, Craig had to admit that the idea did sound appealing. "So either you need the element of stealth," Craig suggested, gesturing with his grape soda.

"Or you n-need brute force!" Tweek agreed, nodding voraciously. Downing some more of his coffee, the blond added, "Or you could just get a better strategy."

"I think at this stage of the game, a better strategy would be your best bet." Revealing what he'd been working on, Token showed the other three a rather detailed sketch of the Drow Elf Kingdom. "They're pretty much all centered on this one tree, right?" he clarified, tapping it with his pencil. "With Archers stationed wherever possible."

"And Rangers on the ground and on the larger branches," Clyde elaborated eagerly, nodding along. "We were being shot at before we even knew what was happening while we were still trying to deal with the ground troops."

"What you're going to have to do is distract those Archers while you're tackling the Rangers on the ground." Craig nodded in agreement with the black boy's assessment. "I'd suggest a smaller ground force, with more emphasis on getting up that tree. Once you're in close combat with the Archers, they aren't going to be able to do much good."

"We don't have enough people for that," Clyde lamented, clearly frustrated. Jumping down off of Token's coffee table, the boy traded blows with some invisible opponent before sagging. "We just lost four warriors this last week due to parents banning them from playing. Even with the stick, I don't know if it's enough."

"I've been meaning to join actually," Token commented, setting aside his plans, probably for further study later. "I've been thinking about going as a Cleric, you know, more for the healing aspect than the whole fire from heaven shtick. You guys don't seem to have many good healers, just Scot Malkinson and he's mostly a Ranger."

"That would be sweet dude!" Clyde exclaimed, perking up at once. "Cartman would totally take you on as a healer!" He frowned for a moment, before muttering, "Actually, he might try to make you the Blacksmith but I'm pretty sure you can talk him out of it."

Token rolled his eyes. "Whatever, he'd be stupid not to take on a Cleric. Considering how much damage his strategies cause, I'd level up in no time. Then I'd also have some superior holy magic that could help against the archers while also having the ability to protect and heal those around me." Craig had to admit it made sense, so he said as much.

"Cartman might be an idiot but he's not suicidal, he knows he can't keep this shit up forever." Dragging his thumb over Tweek's shoulder absently as he spoke, Craig continued, "By the end of the week, he's going to be hurting for someone to help get his wounded men back in commission. If you step in now and pitch it so he knows he'll be saving himself from humiliating defeat by taking you on, you'll have it in the bag."

Tweek bobbed his head in excitement, his hair tickling Craig's neck. "Y-You'd be so badass dude! Everyone would be terrified of you!" His green eyes shone as he spoke, distracting Craig despite how interesting he found the subject. "If he lets you dual-class, you could get some good –ghn- close range combat and be practically invincible."

"He wouldn't be able to beat me," Clyde challenged, brandishing his sword at Token. "None of you would stand a chance against me. I'm one of the Grand Wizard's most powerful Warriors right now. You would have to be really high level to take me down."

"Or we'd just need a separate fighting style you couldn't cope with," Craig suggested flatly, taking some of the wind out of Clyde's sails. "Though it sounds like you have most of the classes already worked out, so you already know that."

"I wish we could join!" Tweek squeaked suddenly, prompting Craig to move his arm and look down at the boy, who was already staring at him with shining eyes. "It would be s-so much fun!" Wiggling and twitching in his seat, the blond quickly asked Clyde, "Do you think Cartman would let us join?"

Clyde's eyes widened as if surprised that Tweek would want to play, before sliding his sword into an imaginary sheath and walking over to where the blond sat. "Hmm, it depends on your usefulness to the Grand Wizard King." Pretending to poke Tweek in the forehead, which still managed to earn him a shriek, Clyde said, "I dunno Teacup, you might be able to join up with Token and dual class as a Cleric Mage."

Picturing Tweek drowning in a white robe that was way too big on him, Craig raised an eyebrow at Clyde. "You sure he wouldn't make a better Mage period? I'm not sure if healing magic is going to be his thing."

"GAH!" Suddenly, Tweek bounced up and stood on the couch, twitching and wobbling as he did so. "NO WAY MAN! I wouldn't do magic!" Raising his thermos, he let out a spastic growl and announced, "I'd totally be a berserker! It's what you guys need, you just have a bunch of warriors but what you need is a –ngh- tank!"

"So like a barbarian?" Token questioned, raising his eyebrows and chuckling. "Yeah Tweek, I'm sure the other side would be really scared of you." His lightly mocking tone earned him another growl from Tweek, who was waving his thermos around like a club. Clutched in his small hands, Craig had to admit he could totally see it.  _With his wild hair and some face paint, he'd pull it off…_

"COME ON!" Tweek screeched, leaping from the couch onto the now vacant coffee table. Brandishing his chosen weapon at Clyde, the blond insisted, "I'd have less defensive maneuvers than n-normal Warrior, but I'd be faster and stronger!" Taking a swing at an imaginary enemy, Tweek exclaimed, "I could kick ass! And protect those around me while I'm at it!"

"Dude, that's totally what Cartman's looking for!" Clyde exclaimed, getting excited as well. "You could do so much damage to the Rangers because you wouldn't have any magic at all! That would be awesome and not overpowered at all because your defense is poor." At this, Tweek let out another shriek and held his thermos above his head, his eyes wild and excited.

"What do you think Craig?" Tweek asked, swiveling to face the boy before leaping back to the couch, which hardly even registered his weight. Climbing onto the back, Tweek swayed back and forth as he waved his thermos. "Do you think I'd m-make a good barbarian?! Do you think I'd look –grr- dangerous?"

As one particularly wild swing threw the boy off balance, Craig abandoned his empty soda bottle in favor of sweeping Tweek off of the back of the couch. With a scream, Tweek fell backwards, right into Craig's arms. Trembling, Tweek let out another growl, to which Craig didn't react. "I think you'd make a kick-ass barbarian," the Noirette said stoically, nodding as he spoke.

Eyes lighting up in excitement, Tweek glanced over Craig's shoulder and gave a screech of, "RRRrr! I'll kill you all!" before wrapping an arm around Craig's neck so he could trade blows with Clyde, who'd been sneaking up on Craig. Tumbling out of Craig's hold with another shriek, Tweek was instantly up and back on the coffee table, quick enough that he could keep fighting Clyde.

"Come on Teacup!" Clyde challenged with a laugh, his wooden sword causing Tweek's thermos to clang every time they glanced off each other. "How are you going to be a barbarian if this is the best you've got. Show me your wild rage!"

Parrying Clyde's blows with clumsy movements, Tweek suddenly roared, "I AM MAN AT HIS MOST MAN! FEAR ME!" Knocking Clyde's sword out of his hand, Tweek took a flying leap at the boy, tackling him to the ground with a twitchy roar. Jabbing the fallen warrior's chest with his thermos turned club, Tweek exclaimed, "I am unbeatable!"

Laughing hard enough to keep him from breathing properly, Clyde called, "Oh the horror! Who will save me from the fearsome might of Tweek Tweak the famous berserker?" Watching Tweek brandish his thermos above his head, wild hair flying everywhere, Craig had to fight a smile. Deciding to join in while he could, Craig snatched up the forgotten butter knife he'd left on the seat beside him and pulled down his chullo till it almost covered his eyes.

Rising, Craig loomed over Tweek, who hadn't noticed him, and jabbed him lightly under the ribs with the blunt knife. With a shriek of fear, Tweek let out a cry of, "OH JESUS!" before spinning around and leaping off of Clyde. "You can't stop me!" he yelled at Craig, batting away the Noirette's knife with his thermos. The way he grinned up at Craig like he couldn't possibly have been happier, made Craig's chest feel too tight.

"I have power you could only ever dream of," Craig told him, still in his usual deadpan. Flipping the knife so he was holding the dull blade, Craig poked Tweek between the eyes, eliciting a squeak from him that left a confusing feeling in the taller boy's gut. Tossing his knife in the air, Craig only just barely caught the handle in time to deflect another wild blow.

As Craig swept his blade right over Tweek's head, ruffling his hair, the blond thrust out his chest and let out a bellow. "YOU HAVE AWAKENED THE BEAST INSIDE ME!" With a screech, he launched himself at Craig, knocking the Noirette to the floor, dislodging the boy's hat in the process. Crouching over his fallen victim, Tweek lowered his head, causing his hair to fall around his face. "You're powerless against me!" Tweek squeaked, jabbing at Craig's forehead with his thermos before letting out one of those breathless giggles.

Spread out beneath Tweek, with those impossibly green eyes fixed on him, Craig quietly agreed, "I'm powerless against you."

Though Craig would shove it to the back of his mind after that afternoon, in that moment, the taller boy was struck with just how true that statement was.

But it was over before it really began and Tweek reared up, kneeling on Craig's chest so he could wave his thermos around triumphantly. "I have felled the mighty Craig."

Token let out a laugh at that. Craning his neck so he could see the black boy, Craig watched as he waved his hands and announced, "By the holy power bestowed on me, I use Radiant Light on Craig, healing him for seventy points of damage, granting him a fighting bonus!"

"Hey wait!" Tweek exclaimed, his eyes widening almost comically as Craig suddenly surged up, seizing his shoulders and flipping their positions. Straddling Tweek's thin bony hips, Craig pinned the blonde's hands above his head and smirked, just for Tweek.

"Not so powerful now, are you?" he taunted as Tweek struggled and let out a cry of protest, even as he fought back laughter.

"Now I've got you both!" Clyde suddenly announced, rushing at them from behind. Eyes fixing on Clyde, Tweek struggled free and squirmed out from under Craig, catching the boy's sword with his thermos. "Surrender!" Clyde called.

"Never!" Tweek squeaked. "No one touches Craig, my Thief!" Grabbing for his knife, Craig jumped onto the couch used it to get around behind Clyde. Suddenly seizing the boy in a hold, Craig pressed the dull side of the butter knife against the Warrior's neck.

"I think that we won this one," he said, his flat voice managing to convey mockery. At the sign that the battle had been won, Tweek let out a fake war cry, spinning in a happy circle as Token clapped and cheered.

Holding up his hands in surrender, Clyde laughed helplessly. Letting him go, Craig raised his eyebrows at Tweek, who grinned from ear to ear and held up his thermos like a club once more. "You make an awesome Thief, Craig!" Tweek exclaimed, twitching to one side.

"If I stacked up stealth and defense, with a pretty good surprise attack bonus, I think it could really work," Craig agreed, already working out the semantics of his character in his head. Sticking his butter knife in his belt, Craig tugged down his chullo like a hood and announced, "I'd be epic as a Thief."

"With Tweek's strength and your stealth, you two would make a badass duo," Token acknowledged as Clyde's laughter died away. Imagining Tweek standing before him with a club while he defended against the people trying to hit him, Craig had to admit that it sounded pretty sweet.  _Besides, it would be something new, instead of just being a warrior._

"So are you going to join?" Clyde asked, wiping a tear of mirth from his eye. "I can put in a good word for you and even take you directly to Kupa Keep."

Looking to Tweek, who nodded eagerly, Craig definitively said, "Tomorrow. Tomorrow we'll approach Cartman about it." Because if he was playing with Tweek, Craig had to admit that any game would be awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, but seriously, am I the only one who certain parts of this really vividly?? Like Tweek crouching on Craig's chest and being all awesome and Craig just getting hit with the feels. UGH!! This was way too much fun.
> 
> Now, I have some free time so I'm going to answer comments. FOR REAL THIS TIME!!


	22. Dragging You Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhhhhh, you have no idea how constraining it is to only write 3000 words per chapter. I mean, how are you supposed to have anything happen in so few words?! I can spend 300 just describing someone's eyes, I can't do shit with only 3000 per chapter!
> 
> And yet, here we are.
> 
> I just want to say that I have been made a very happy bean recently. A friend of mine who is also on Ao3 under the name LateNightVibes just recently started reading this and I don't even know if they'll get all the way through it but I'M SO HAPPY!! (senpai noticed me!! (ᗒᗨᗕ) )
> 
> So yeah, I'm a very happy bean.
> 
> Enjoy.

"Calm down."

"GHA! I don't know man, are you sure about this?!"

"Trust me."

"Okay, oka-" Craig's hands brushed against his skin again. "OH GOD NO, STOP!"

Catching his shirt to keep Craig from taking it away, Tweek shivered and stared up at the boy. "I –ngh- I think I want to keep my shirt on after all! I-It's not that big a deal anyway, right? We can do this without taking off my shirt, right?"

Pausing in removing the blonde's button-up, Craig took his fingers off the buttons before lifting a hand and burying it in Tweek's wild hair. "Okay," he agreed at once, blinking calm blue eyes down at the shorter boy.  _I'm being such a wimp, Craig must think I'm so stupid._  Biting his lip, Tweek stared at the floor and shifted from foot to foot.  _Why am I being like this, I should just trust him!_

Nervously, unable to meet Craig's eyes, Tweek muttered, "Ghn- F-fine, I'll take it off." Horribly aware of Craig's eyes on him, Tweek fumbled his shirt off, each button progressively harder than the last. As he got to the bottom, Craig knelt down and finished unbuttoning the thing for him. His big hands were so much steadier than Tweek's, it always managed to take the blond by surprise. Twitching, Tweek glanced down at his own bony and pasty torso with distaste.  _At least I'm not as bruised as I used to be..._

"There," Craig said, removing the shirt from around Tweek's shoulders before tossing it onto an unopened sack of coffee beans. "You're ready to be a Barbarian now." Looking down at his spindly arms and all too visible ribs, Tweek reflected that if this is what barbarians looked like, then it was a wonder they'd ever beat anyone.

Just as they'd agreed before, today was the day they went to Cartman to ask if they could join the game. Currently, the Noirette was trying to coax Tweek out of the back room of Tweek Bro's, which was proving to be a task. At Craig's insistence, they'd all decided to get dressed in their costumes before going, just so they'd look properly bad-ass when facing Cartman.  _Jesus, he's going to think I look stupid then he's not going to let us join!_  Covering his bare chest with his arms, Tweek let out a soft whine.

Craig looked so much cooler than he did. What with his usual hat pulled low over his eyes and secured around his chin with several strips of brown cloth and his brown cape that fluttered around him like a stealthy cloak, the taller boy looked like a Thief. It helped that he'd traded his usual coat for a brown shirt, darker pants and sturdy shoes. The thick utility belt slung over one shoulder only added to the image.

Tweek, on the other hand, looked stupid. He only had on was a pair of gray pants he'd found in the back of his drawers, a belt to hold whatever weapons he ended up with and tall fur-lined boots that looked pretty barbarian like. At least with a shirt on, he'd felt tougher. Without his shirt, he now kind of just looked cold.

Stepping back from Tweek so he could look the boy up and down, Craig hummed under his breath before widening his eyes slightly and reaching into one of the largest pouches on his utility belt. "Hang on, I brought something for you." After a second of struggling, Craig pulled something out that Tweek couldn't see.

 _What is it? What if it's something dangerous? Jesus, what if it's a real weapon?! I don't think I could handle that! OH GOD, WHAT IS IT? THIS IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_  "OH MY GOD NO!" With a cry of fear, Tweek backed up to the other side of the back room they were both currently holed up in, his hands held up to shield himself from whatever Craig had brought.

Without saying a word, Craig just walked up to the cowering boy. Putting a hand on his bony shoulder, Craig pulled him away from the wall and before Tweek could shove him away, the taller boy looped something over his chest.  _OH JESUS, FUCK!_ Slowly daring to open his eyes, Tweek watched as Craig patiently looped a belt over Tweek's shoulder and through a belt loop on his pants. Catching Tweek's eyes, Craig calmly said, "Now we match."

As the Noirette stepped back, Tweek held out his arms and stared down at himself. _I don't look like a barbarian at all! I need something else._  "No, we don't! Ngh- Y-you look cool!" Looking himself in the distorted reflection of the coffee grinder, Tweek twitched and muttered, "I s-still need something else. I look so lame dude!"

"What about war paint?" Craig suggested, looking around the back room of Tweek Bro's Coffee, presumably for something to use as paint. "I'd say you need weapons, but I'm assuming we'll be outfitted with weapons that fit our classes once we get there."

At the words  _war paint_  Tweek let out a screech. "HANG ON! I THINK I HAVE SOMETHING!" Dashing to the back of the room, Tweek yanked open a bag of coffee beans his dad had ordered from some exotic location but never actually used. Grabbing for one of the many broken cups lining the walls, Tweek scooped some of the crushed beans out and raced towards the pot of coffee in the back.  _This had better work. What if it doesn't and Craig laughs at me?!_

Hands shaking, Tweek insisted, "Th-this kind of coffee is good at staining skin, I could use this!" Rushing back to where Craig was, Tweek almost tripped and fell, but Craig caught him before he could. Several spots of dark coffee splattered the ground at Tweek's feet, but none of them got on Craig's clothes. Looking down, the Noirette nodded thoughtfully before taking the cup out of Tweek's shaking hands.

"This could work. Close your eyes," he ordered blandly, dipping a finger into the piping hot mix as if it didn't bother him in the slightest. Though he hated closing his eyes, the action always leaving him feeling vulnerable, Tweek let out a soft, involuntary noise before doing as he'd been bid and letting his lids fall. Almost at once, he could feel Craig drag the calloused pad of his pointer finger over his face in a long stripe that he repeated several more times, each streak careful.

"Do you think that Cartman'll let us join?" Tweek asked nervously, clenching his hands into fists in an attempt to still his shaking as much as possible. "I mean –ngh- You kinda did b-beat him up! Jesus, what if he doesn't let you join!" Those gentle fingers brushed against his cheeks, dragging back over his jawline, causing Tweek to snap his teeth together, not wanting to ruin anything.

"Then we'll just have to work as mercenaries," Craig said flatly as if the idea didn't concern him in the slightest. Imaging himself and Craig alone against the rest of what seemed like the entire school, fighting for whoever the highest bidder was, Tweek gave a little shiver. Though he wanted desperately to be part of a faction, just so he could be truly part of the game, Tweek liked the idea of it just being Craig and him.

 _Unless Craig leaves so he can join a group on his own. He's so strong, I can't imagine why they wouldn't want to take him on!_  Twitching, unable to stop himself from the compulsive motion, Tweek gnawed on his bottom lip and rung his hands. He wished he could open his eyes so he could see Craig's face, but he didn't dare do so and ruin the boy's work. As the Noirette's fingers finally moved To Tweek's throat, he let out a soft moan.

"What if Cartman just doesn't want me!" Tweek worried aloud, struggling to keep still with all he had. "I'm n-not all that scary after all! What if he just wants you and Token because you two are cool and I'm not?" Craig let out a breath at that and his fingers stopped, right over Tweek's pulse point.

"Then fuck him, I'm not joining if you're not with me." Tweek's heart leaped and he was pretty sure his face went red with shame because Craig had no doubt felt how much those words had affected the blond. There was a moment more of silence before Craig went back to painting Tweek with war paint. "You're way cooler than Cartman," the boy reassured Tweek, his tone calm.

"I-it's still so much pressure man!" Tweek squeaked. There was the sound of Craig dipping his fingers back into the mix before they went back to dragging over Tweek's skin, this time on his arm, which he lifted. Craig made a band around his bicep before moving down to right below his elbow.

"Relax," Craig assured him, moving on to his other arm. Tweek just let out a pathetic whine. He'd felt much braver the night before when messing around with Craig and the other boys. He could still remember Craig, crouching over him, an evil smirk on his lips just after he'd flipped them. The shiver the memory caused forced Craig to pause for a moment.  _Oh god, he looked so dangerous. I don't look that dangerous!_

Decidedly leaving a large stripe over one of Tweek's protruding hips, the Noirette suddenly announced, "Okay, you can open your eyes now." Peeling back his eyelids, which felt a little stuck together thanks to the coffee now covering them, Tweek glanced down at his arms. Just as he'd hoped, the special coffee ground had left dark brown streaks on his skin that definitely looked like war paint to Tweek. Twisting his head, the blond twitched and let out a scream at the sight of his own reflection.

"OH JESUS!" Stumbling backward into Craig, Tweek let out a whimper. "I –grr- look really scary man! Are you sure this is a good idea!?" Craig's only response was to shrug before putting an arm over Tweek's shoulder and pulling him away from the large coffee grinder.

"You look fine," he assured the blond stoically. "Now come on, Token is waiting for us outside." He started to head for the door back into the shop before Tweek let out a screech.  _NO! There are so many people out there! They'll all see us and they'll think I look weird and my parents will kill me! THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_

Tugging on Craig's arm, Tweek yelped, "L-let's go through the back!" Before Craig could ask why Tweek grabbed the boy's hand and tugged him back through the winding path between the coffee bags. Pushing open the back door and giving an involuntary shiver, Tweek momentarily wished for some more coffee before shaking his head.  _No! I'll be fine! I'm a barbarian, remember! I'm going to go up to Cartman and I'm going to prove that I can measure up to everyone else!_

As they popped out from behind Tweek Bro's, Tweek let out a shriek. "Token!" he exclaimed, his eyes widening as he let go of Craig's hand and ran over to the black boy. Token turned around and raised his eyebrows. The boy had dressed up as well, his usual clothing exchanged for a white shirt, purple vest, brown belt, and dark orange pants. Tugging at the red scarf that covered his mouth, Token nodded in approval.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd manage it, Craig," Token said, looking behind the blond at Craig, who was ambling after him.  _Manage what?_  Suddenly worried, Tweek jerked his head back and forth between the two of them, trying to figure out what Token was talking about.  _Oh god, did they make a bet!? I HATE BETS! Oh Jesus, what did he manage? WHAT HAPPENED!?_

"Yeah, I didn't think I'd manage to get him out of his shirt either," Craig commented, looking down at Tweek with a gleam in his eyes that was almost teasing.  _OH GOD, THEY WERE BETTING ON THAT?! FUCK WHY?_  With a scream, Tweek fisted hands in his hair and pulled hard, trying to drown out the screaming in his own mind.

"No, I figured you'd manage that, I'm surprised you got him to part with his coffee," Token answered back blandly, chuckling softly as Tweek let out a moan at the word  _coffee._   _I should have brought some with me. Oh god, I'm going to go crazy and no one is going to want me on their side!_ As a hand settled in his hair, Craig stepped up beside the blond, flipping Token off as he did so.

"Fuck you man," he complained in a monotone. Though he sounded annoyed, the fingers in Tweek's hair were as gentle as ever. Looking between the two, Token was silent for a moment before seemingly settling something in his own mind and moving on. Tweek wished he could understand what was going through the black boy's mind, but he'd mastered being unreadable even more so than Craig.

"Clyde should be waiting for us outside of Cartman's house," he said, fiddling with the plastic knives he'd affixed to his belt. "He said he'd already spoken to Cartman and chances are pretty good we'll get in, but it's still up to the Grand Wizard in the end." Looking at Craig, Token said, "Just… Don't punch him this time, okay?"

Eyes flying open, Tweek let out a screech. "OH GOD MAN, DON'T HURT HIM, THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Scrambling away from Craig, the blond grabbed fistfuls of his hair and twitched hard. "W-we really have to make a good impression, okay?" The idea of getting thrown out before they'd even had a chance to join terrified Tweek to no end. All he wanted was to have fun with his friends, he couldn't handle the pressure of also worrying whether Craig was going to cause everyone to turn against them.

"As long as he doesn't piss me off," Craig said with a shrug. Before Tweek had a chance to freak out about this, he stepped into line beside Token. "Come on, Clyde'll get mopey if we take too long." With those words, he decidedly started walking. With a squeak, Tweek rushed to catch up, his hand tangling itself in Craig's cloak, entirely on instinct.

As Token started talking, something about the strategies he'd been working out the night before, Tweek realized how close to Craig he was huddling. Though usually he didn't care, mostly because Craig didn't care either, right now, all the blond could think about was how pathetic he looked.  _God, I'm a barbarian berserker! What am I doing, clinging to Craig like this? Ugh, I look lame hanging off of him like a barnacle or something, I need to be stronger, how else am I going to be a good warrior?!_

"-but if you were to figure out a good way to sneak up the tree from the other side, then we'd have a foolproof plan to get the stick if the elves take it again," Token was saying, drawing his finger through the air, conjuring up battle plans as they walked. "Of course, they probably have every angle protected, however pathetically."

Craig hummed under his breath, before glancing over at Tweek, who yelped. "Are you any good at climbing?" he asked, his eyebrows raising slightly. With his hat pulled down so low, they disappeared beneath the brim, making him look even more emotionless than usual.  _Am I any good at climbing?! If I climb, what if I fall? What if I broke my back and couldn't talk for the rest of my life? What if I died?!_

"N-no way man!" Tweek squeaked, shaking his head rapidly. "I can't climb things, it's too dangerous." Letting out a slight sigh, Craig turned away.  _Oh god, I've made him mad haven't I? What was I supposed to say!?_   _He already thinks I'm pathetic, I'm making it even worse!_  Through chattering teeth, Tweek pushed out, "B-But I could –ngh- learn!"

"It's fine," Craig said flatly. "I can teach you." As they turned left, Tweek all but buried his head in Craig's cloak as they crossed the street.  _Like not being able to see it is going to get rid of the cars that could run us over._  Feeling horribly stupid, Tweek forced himself to let go of Craig's clothes the moment they reached the other side of the street.

Twitching hard, Tweek yanked on his hair and stifled his own whimpers before hurrying to keep up with the boys, who kept talking, oblivious to his distress. Craig was passionately arguing whether dragons could or couldn't exist in a fantasy game and Tweek didn't want to interrupt him with his own insecurities.  _That's all I ever do, isn't it?_

Feeling sick to his stomach, Tweek wished desperately for his coffee as he wrapped his arms around his chest and kept his eyes trained on the ground. His vision felt weird, what with the dark coffee stains streaked over his face. Remembering how patient Craig had been with him about the whole thing, even when he'd been acting up the entire time, Tweek clenched his teeth.

Ahead, Token said something to Craig and the taller boy pushed him lightly in return. Biting his lip, Tweek felt his heart sink.  _Why can't I be like all of Craig's other friends? Why do I have to be so stupid and weird? I'm so… so clingy! It's stupid, Token and Clyde don't act like that around Craig, why do I?!_  Tweek kept trying to find a good answer for it but he came up with nothing. All he had was the simple fact that he  _did_  act clingy, always feeling the need to keep a hold of the Noirette in some way.  _I'm supposed to be tough! I can't act like this if I'm a barbarian!_

 _But Craig never stops me, so does that mean he doesn't mind?_  Maybe Craig just didn't care at all! Tweek let out a soft whine as they turned right, his short legs making it more difficult to keep up with Craig and Token, who were both taller than he was.  _Maybe that's just how friends act… Stan and Kyle do it sometimes, maybe it's not weird at all. But what if it is and everyone is laughing at us and that's why Token is always staring at us! Because I'm being weird and Craig doesn't care enough to make me stop._

Tweek's head started to pound as the thoughts raced around in his head. Wrapping his fingers around the belt Craig had looped over his chest, Tweek shut his eyes tightly as if he could drive the headache away just by not looking at anything. Almost the moment he did, something caught his foot, causing him to stumble.  _OH JESUS!_  "AUGH!" Tweek wailed, his hands flying out as the ground suddenly came rushing towards him a lot faster than he'd expected.

 _"Fuck."_  The expletive was followed by hands grabbing his upper arms and pulling up sharply, keeping him from face-planting on the sidewalk. Shaking violently, Tweek looked up to find Craig looking down at him with a frown on his face.  _OH GOD, I MADE HIM UPSET! WHY AM I SUCH A SCREW-UP!?_  Tweek would have pulled on his hair if his arms weren't currently being held by the boy above him.

"I'M SORRY!" Tweek screeched, twitching hard and trying to look anywhere but into those blue eyes that were staring down at him. Craig didn't speak, which only made it worse. Tweek was pretty sure Token was saying something, but he couldn't make it out through the screaming in his own skull.  _He's going to kill me now for sure!_

Suddenly, there was a flash of brown and Tweek found Craig's cloak wrapped around his shoulders. Pressed up against the Noirette's side, Tweek could feel his twitching subside into a simple tremble. Catching the edge of Craig's cloak, the blond gave up on trying to be tough and just let Craig's presence calm him down. "Are you okay?" Token asked, his voice breaking through the static that had filled Tweek's mind in place of the shrieking.

As Tweek opened his mouth to attempt a response that wasn't an incoherent whimper, Craig cut him off. "He'll be fine," he said gruffly, wrapping an arm around Tweek's shoulders so he couldn't wander off and drag the cloak with him. Still shaking, Tweek nodded several times against Craig's side. From here, he could see the shiny handle of the butter knife Craig had been using as a weapon the night before. It made something in his throat tighten. Recalling what he'd been worried about before, the shorter boy put his head up and looked at the silent Noirette.

Though it terrified him to ask the question at all, Tweek quietly bit out the words, "Craig –ghn- A-am I clingy?"  _Oh, Jesus, he's going to never talk to me again, why did I have to open my mouth?! He's going to think I'm weird and then he's never going to talk to me and Cartman is going to start hurting me again!_

Slowly glancing down at the blond, Craig's face was flat for a moment before something in his intensely blue eyes softened, became that side of Craig that Tweek saw whenever the boy was holding Stripe or talking about Space. Lifting his free hand, the boy placed it in the blonde's hair. Tweek could practically feel all of the worry and self-deprecating thoughts being soaked up and drawn out of him through that point of contact.

"No," Craig answered simply, his voice just as soft. Then, as though it had been decided, he went back to his conversation with Token. Tweek was simply content to huddle up against Craig's side, carefully putting one foot in front of the other.  _If Craig thinks I'm fine, then I am._  Because when had Craig ever been wrong before?

Besides, it was a lot warmer under Craig's cloak than without it. Ruefully, Tweek decided, _I can be a scary barbarian later…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be fair, I had to have their conversation with Cartman from Craig's perspective anyway. 
> 
> And you know, fluff, so...
> 
> In all seriousness though, I love it when you people try to predict where the story is going. I just love hearing your thoughts, it fills me with joy!


	23. In The Jaws of The Lion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I feel there has been some slight confusion as to what events I'm going to be covering in this story. Because of the timeline I'm attempting to create, I won't be able to do everything. There will not be, for example, anything about Tweek's brief stint as part of Cartman's gang, nor will there be anything from the episodes surrounding and including Weiners Out. I wish I could fit them in but I just can't find a good place for them.
> 
> As I have yet to fully finish watching every season of South Park, I can't definitively say I won't add in some other smaller episodes where Tweek and Craig had bit roles, or whether I'm going to add in anything from the mobile game. I can say with complete certainty however that I will be covering the rest of The Stick of Truth plotline, with my own twists to make up for the fact that the new kid is not part of the story yet. I'll also be covering Tweek x Craig, The Fractured but Whole, Put It Down, and a modified look at the Crystal Meth coffee fiasco. After that, it's all up in the air and will likely be an entirely original plot from that point.
> 
> I know that was a lot to read, but I hope it cleared some confusion up!
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek was still shivering.

_Why did I have to convince him to take his fucking shirt off?_  Craig was trying to pay attention to what Token was saying, but the boy huddled up against his side was very distracting. He was painfully aware of the way Tweek's bony hip knocked against his leg and of the way he kept twitching, despite having calmed down. His shoulder felt thin under Craig's hand, small and fragile, and his skin was warm to the touch, despite the chill.

Usually, he didn't pay this much attention to Tweek, but he was right now. This was probably because he felt mostly responsible for the blonde's current state.

He'd been the one, after all, to convince him that taking his shirt off would make him look more like a barbarian. Then Craig had allowed Tweek to trail behind even though he'd known the boy was already nervous and then the boy had almost face planted on the sidewalk. Picturing Tweek covered in bleeding scrapes was enough to make Craig's insides clench.

So now he was left to curse himself silently, no idea how he was supposed to make the situation better. Part of him felt better, having the blond right under his proverbial wing, exactly where he could best look after the shorter boy. The rest of him knew that while he gave no fucks about letting Tweek wrap himself up in his cape, everyone else was going to care.  _I just don't want him to look like a target._

Because that's what he looked like, with those wide green eyes and that open expression that held fuck all back. Tweek always looked like a target, something that needed to be shielded, for fear of finding him run over. Craig knew better than anyone just how tough the boy could be when the need arose, but when he wasn't fighting for his life, Tweek just didn't fight period. Though part of Craig knew that he probably was helping encourage this pacifistic nature, the rest of him didn't really care.

_Fuck it,_  Craig thought savagely, pushing down the worry clouding his mind. _Let them think he's a target, I'll fuck up anyone who tries to so much as touch him!_  Tweek's free hand grasped at his shirt and Craig could feel some of his irrational anger settling down. No, it was all going to be fine. He was just keeping Tweek from falling down again and really, the blond looked fucking bad ass with war paint streaked across his body. This had been a good idea.

Turning the corner, careful to keep from running over Tweek's feet, Craig looked down Cartman's block warily. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, but the sight of Clyde running full tilt towards them was certainly among the most welcome of those things. "CRAIG!" the boy exclaimed, holding onto his helmet as he ran, his sword flailing about dangerously. "TOKEN! TWEEK! YOU'RE ALL HERE!"

Raising his eyebrows, Token let out a soft chuckle at Clyde's excitement and deftly intercepted the boy's attempt to hug Craig. Patting the boy on the back, Token said, "Okay Clyde, don't make an ass of yourself." Instantly whimpering, Clyde gave Token a hurt look before it quickly turned into a slack-jawed expression.

"Oh my god, you look so cool!" Clyde exclaimed. Token just stood there calmly, allowing the boy to excitedly ogle his costume. Eyes flickering to Craig, Clyde practically bounced on the balls of his feet. "Craig, your costume is so perfect~" he half-whispered as he looked the Noirette up and down as well. Turning to the twitching blond still huddled up under Craig's cape, Clyde pried the brown material from Tweek's fingers, eliciting a squeak from the boy.

"Teacup," Clyde chuckled, pulling the boy out from under Craig's protective arm, much to Tweek's alarm. The blond swung his head around to shoot Craig a pathetic and pleading look, but against the exuberant brunette, it was no use. "You look bad-ass! Like a real barbarian!" Laughing at Tweek's embarrassed sounds, Clyde grinned at Craig. "You ready to do this dude? There is no way Cartman will be able to say no to you guys!"

Pushing away the urge to pull Tweek closer, back to safety, Craig nodded. "We're here, aren't we?" Allowing Tweek to be dragged away by Clyde, who had really grown to adore the blond over the last weeks, Craig fell in step beside Token, who watched the two of them walk away with a calculating expression. "What's up dude?" Craig asked, his voice flat as always.

As Tweek let out a shriek and scampered away from Clyde, who laughed and jabbed at him with his sword playfully, Token let out an  _hmm._  "You're letting him near Cartman," he commented softly, his tone one of simple observation as opposed to accusation as it might have been. Furrowing his brows at the words, Craig turned towards the black boy, trying to figure out what Token's angle was.

"What did you expect me to do?" he muttered, at last, crossing his arms in absence of having pockets to shove his hands into. Considering how genuinely happy Tweek looked at that moment, Craig couldn't understand why Cartman would factor into the equation at all.

"Join the other team," Token said bluntly, glancing at Craig evenly. "Yet you're willingly putting Tweek in Cartman's way, regardless of what's happened." The way he said it, it might have sounded like a statement, but Craig felt like it was an accusation.  _Join the other team? When Clyde is already part of the humans? What the fuck?!_  He wasn't even sure what he was supposed to say in response to that.

So instead he took issue with a different matter. "I don't put Tweek anywhere, he's not mine," Craig said, narrowing his eyes slightly. "He chose to be a part of this." That's how it had happened, right? He'd been so careful not to push Tweek in any direction, despite his own desire to join the game.

Token looked at Craig for a moment as if he couldn't believe the Noirette had just said what he'd said, before humming again and turning away. Feeling very much like he was facing the inquisition, Craig snapped, "What?" frustrated with Token's mysteriousness.

Instead of giving him any useful information, Token just said, "You can't protect him here, Craig." That made Craig clench his fists.  _What the fuck is that supposed to mean?_  It was especially frustrating because  _of course,_  he was going to protect Tweek from people like Cartman and Kenny who were only there to torment the blond. What was Token trying to say, just telling Craig he couldn't protect Tweek?

Probably picking up on Craig's growing annoyance, Token sighed. "You were the one who chose to do this Craig, don't tell me otherwise. Part of the reason he's here at all is because he wants to please you, whether he knows it or not." There was no mystery as to who the  _he_  was referring to. "So I'm just warning you that you can't catch him every time he trips and falls."

"Tweek can take care of himself," Craig bit out, his anger starting to come out in his voice. Token glanced over at him before letting his eyes travel to Tweek, who was trying to escape Clyde ruffling his hair. Frustrated with the black boy, even though he couldn't possibly know what Token was trying to say, Craig said, "Look, he's fine."

But all Token did was hum under his breath and keep walking, the conversation apparently, in his mind, already over. It left Craig feeling frustrated and confused.  _He's right though, isn't he?_  Craig had been protecting the blond recently, however subconscious the actions had been. Except he couldn't think of what could possibly be wrong with him doing that. Tweek was small and let people walk all over him. Craig was big and intimidating and didn't take shit from anyone. It made sense that he'd sort of watch over the shorter boy and keep him from getting hurt.

Just because they were going to be around Cartman didn't mean any of that had to change. Sure the fatass would probably make fun of Tweek and inevitably Craig as well but so what? He'd do that anyway, the least Craig could do would be to keep Tweek from getting too hurt by the whole thing. Recalling Tweek the night before, kneeling on his chest, his eyes wild and happy, Craig reflected that he might not even have to do that because what he'd said had been absolutely true. Tweek could handle himself.

He'd handled himself for years before Craig had even been a thought in his life. Token was worrying about nothing.

"Oh god, are you sure about this?" Tweek's voice brought Craig out of his moody musings. Looking over at the blond, Craig followed his eyes.

Waving at the banner stretched over the fence beside Cartman's house that proudly proclaimed Kupa Keep, Clyde said, "Come on Tweek, the Grand Wizard King might have the reputation of a douche, but he's pretty good about letting anyone join who wants to. You'll do fine!" Drawing level with them, Craig noticed Tweek's increased twitching and started to reach out a hand to pat the boy's head before drawing it back, remembering what Token had said.  _Fuck._

"Well, I'd suggest we get this over with if we're going to do it at all," Token said reasonably, looking between the other three. Tweek let out a squeak, Clyde grinned excitedly and Craig just huffed out a breath and stared straight ahead. "Clyde, you know the way."

"Yep!" Quickly making an effort to compose himself, the cheerful brunette put on a serious face and beckoned them forward. "We just go through Cartman's house," he told them, opening the front door and ushering them through. "Everyone does it the first time." Tipping his chin up, Craig led the way, confidently walking through Cartman's house without batting an eye. He felt a hand tugging on his cloak but didn't react.

_He's fine. I'm not going to let anything hurt him for real._

When they reached the back door, they were met with the smiling face of Butters, who brightened at the sight of Clyde. "Well heya gentlemen, y'here t'see the Grand Wizard?" The shorter boy had traded his usual clothes for a blue tunic, navy cape and a jeweled band around his forehead. When he smiled up at Craig happily, the Noirette only gave him a flat look in return.

Stepping forward, Clyde announced, "Yes indeed Paladin Butters, these men have come to join the warriors of Kupa Keep and must see the King at once!" From behind him, Tweek let go of his cape.

"Well, I-I'm sure the Grand Wizard would love t'see you!" Free hand resting on the hammer secured in his belt while the other held open the back door, Butters stood at attention and announced, "You may pass, noble warrior!" Nodding to Butters, Clyde led them into the kingdom of Kupa Keep.

Instantly, Craig could feel himself growing excited. It was exactly what Clyde had been describing. The weapons shop, the stables, and behind it all, the castle, with its plywood towers and flimsy drawbridge. To Craig though, it looked amazing.  _Did Cartman really come up with all this?_  Following Clyde, Craig passed by the other warriors, all of them kids he recognized from school. Some of them waved, identifying them as new recruits. Most though continued to go about their business, training with the array of weapons available and enacting other bits of roleplay that Craig wished he could join.

"Very nice setup," Token commented from behind Craig, his tone appreciative. "I'm impressed Clyde, this is pretty cool."

"Jesus, are those real axes?" Tweek squeaked, his voice high and scared. "Oh god, that's so dangerous!" Glancing over his shoulder, Craig fixed Tweek with a look that he hoped would calm the boy down. Locking eyes with him, Tweek drew himself up to his full height and lifted his chin, as if trying to prove to Craig that he was okay.

Stopping at the base of the drawbridge, Clyde called up to one of the boys stationed at the top of a plywood tower, "I have three new recruits that the Grand Wizard is expecting!" Nodding, the boy scrambled down. After a moment of waiting that was rife with anticipation, a voice emanated from within the castle's entrance.

"You have my attention, proceed." At the sound of Cartman's voice, Craig's attention shifted to Tweek, but the boy wasn't paying attention. He was standing straight, his twitching reduced only to a tremble. His eyes were fixed forward and by the set of his jaw, Craig knew the boy was as ready as he'd ever be.  _It's now or never._  Following Clyde, Craig stepped into the castle.

The room was lit from the ceiling, and the light cast most of the area into shadows. On one side, there was a table with little pebbles and old chess pieces on it, with a hand-drawn map with red lines crisscrossing it hanging above it. Craig assumed together, they were a strategy board. The other side was taken up by a pedestal with a pillow on it. Resting on this stand was a stick that was illuminated by a separate light.  _The stick of truth,_  Craig realized.

But what was the main focus was the throne in the middle of the room. With torches on either side of it, the thing was massive and ornate. On it sat Cartman, dressed in magenta robes and a dark cape, the boy held a polished piece of wood that served as a staff. On his head, a blue wizard's hat completed his image. Craig had to admit, he looked every bit the grand wizard.

"Ah, yes Clyde, you have brought the men that would join our cause." Even the boy's usual whine had been replaced by a dramatic drawl. Drawing level with him, the two boys that had been behind Craig stood to either side of him, Tweek on his left, Token on his right. "Is that right Clyde, they wish to be warriors for Kupa Keep?"

"Yes, Grand Wizard," Clyde said, dropping into a bow of sorts. Craig felt his gut turn, but he too bowed stiffly, unsure what else he was supposed to do. "Craig, Token and Tweek have come to fight against the Drow Elves in the battle for Zaron."

From beside Cartman, in a lower, smaller hair, Kenny, or Princess Kenny as he was apparently going by now, giggled girlishly. He was still wearing his orange parka, but over it, the boy had donned a pink and purple dress, in addition to a golden wig with long fancy looking braids. Craig fought not to roll his eyes. Instead, he simply straightened and stared straight ahead at Cartman.

"Well gentlemen," Cartman said, sitting up straighter on his throne. "This is the Kingdom of Kupa Keep. The KKK for short. We represent the humans of the land of Zaron, and our only quarrel is with the Drow Elves and their High Jew Elf Lord, Kyle. Now you wish to join us, you wish to become  _cool_." Cartman's eyes traveled over each of them in turn. First over Token, then over Craig, then finally to Tweek. Craig didn't like the light in Cartman's eyes as he looked the lightly shaking boy up and down.

"That is right." Stepping forward, taking the initiative, Token stood before Cartman proudly. With his jaw set, the black boy announced, "We are here because we felt that we might be of service to you, oh Grand Wizard." Craig nodded once in affirmation, while Tweek just let out a squeak.

"Oh, you do now?" Cartman questioned, leaning forward. "What do you think about that, Lady McCormick? These men think that they can help us when we have the stick and the power of the universe in our hands." His eyes fixed on Craig, and the smile he gave was nothing short of malicious. "Funny that they should choose now to join, almost like they wanted to pick what was clearly the winning side."

Unable to put up with much more of Cartman's patronizing attitude, Craig stepped forward and bluntly said, in his usual monotone, "If I may, you aren't exactly the winning side, oh Grand Wizard." Instantly, Cartman's eyes narrowed at him. Hardly intimidated, Craig said, "You are losing people, your strategies are bad, and yeah, I think we can help."

"And what are you supposed to be, Craig?" Cartman sneered. "Who are you to tell me what my kingdom does and doesn't need."

"I want to join as a thief," Craig told Cartman, narrowing his own eyes but in no other way attempting to be threatening. "You need someone with stealth, I'll be that person."

Cartman started to open his mouth, clearly getting pissed, but Kenny cut him off. "No no," Kenny tittered, waving a gloved hand. Behind the makeup he was wearing, the boy looked delighted. "I want to hear more. Let Fucker's- I mean, let Tucker's friends tell us what they are."

Crossing his arms with a huff, Cartman sat back on his throne and said, "Ugh, very well, go on. What are the rest of you supposed to be?"

Expression still neutral, despite Craig's overstepping of the line after being expressly told not to, Token nodded his head and said, "I would be a Cleric, Grand Wizard." At the word, Cartman's eyes narrowed once more, but it was a more calculating expression than before. "You don't have any good healers currently, I could fill that gap and bring a lot of your wounded soldiers back into battle."

"That's actually useful," Cartman mused, nodding as if impressed. "What do you think Lady McCormick, should we let Token Black into the KKK?"

"I think he'd be valuable," Kenny said at once, lacing his fingers under his chin and leaning forward in his chair. "They have a point Cartman, you aren't exactly careful when it comes to strategy. I have a feeling that getting a Cleric would change how things are headed."

"Well, yes, I guess you have a point," Cartman grumbled, clearly not happy about being called out on his poor strategies. "I suppose Token could join. But what about you?" He faced Tweek, who yelped before forcing himself to straighten again and stand tall. "What are you supposed to be?"

"I'm a Barbarian!" Tweek said in a rush, twitching hard to one side. "B-because you need someone to defeat the Elven Rangers and –ngh- I could do that!" Craig couldn't help but glare at Cartman as the boy grinned, his expression positively maniacal. Tweek shivered under it and Craig had to resist drawing attention to himself in an attempt to divert it away from Tweek.

"He's such an adorable barbarian, I want to keep him!" Kenny announced suddenly, slipping off of his throne and all but floating over to the shorter blond. "Just look at him Cartman, he's so  _cute."_  It sounded so mocking and derisive, but Craig didn't dare do anything. Looping a satin covered arm around Tweek's shoulder, the Princess cooed, "Let him join, pleeeeaaase~?"

With a great sigh, as if it were a hard decision, Cartman said, "Very well. For you, Lady McCormick, I'll let Tweek join." Looking at them once more, Cartman's eyes narrowed again at Craig. "Clyde, Princess Kenny," he said, his gaze unwavering. "Why don't you show our new recruits around, get them outfitted with some proper weapons. I…  _Require_  a private word with..." He waved a hand about before settling on, "Feldspar. Feldspar the Thief."

Nodding at once, Clyde bowed again and said, "Of course, oh Grand Wizard. We will do as you ask." Pulling Token out of the castle, Clyde instantly started chattering away to the black boy.

With a laugh, Kenny pulled Tweek away, "Come on Tweekers, let's see if we can't make you a more terrifying Barbarian than you already are!" As the boy was being dragged from the castle, he shot Craig a wide-eyed look. Though he didn't feel at all certain about what was about to happen, Craig gave him a placid look.  _I'm going to be fine Tweek, you got in, you're okay._

As if he could read Craig's mind, the boy swallowed and allowed himself to be pulled from the room.

The moment they were alone, Cartman hefted himself off of his throne. Leaning on his staff, the boy walked forward, his narrowed eyes replaced with a conniving smirk. "Now Craig- Feldspar, you want to join, don't you?"

"Yes," Craig said stiffly, looking down at the shorter boy. With the hat, he almost looked taller than Craig, which made him feel slightly off put.

"Now Feldspar, I know that you broke my nose, not but a month ago," Cartman commented, touching his slightly crooked nose as if remembering it. "I'm sure you think that I hold this against you, but you'd be wrong, I am, after all, a fair and tolerate King. I will not keep you from joining because of something small like that. But I am curious, curious as to why you'd choose to be a Thief and not a warrior."

"Because my skills would be more useful as one," Craig answered instantly, clenching his jaw as Cartman put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him towards the stick that stood on the illuminated pedestal. "I want to be useful."

"Is that so?" Cartman asked, narrowing his eyes, his smirk nasty. "Yes, I'm sure that's all this is. You want to be  _useful._  I'm sure it has nothing to do with our little Barbarian." Craig bristled at that, and by Cartman's chuckle, he knew that the boy had noticed.

"I'm a Grand Wizard, Feldspar," Cartman told him, tapping his hat lightly with his staff. "I know all. You think that by hiding behind this weaker class you can hide what you really are from him?" Craig felt ice flood his system, but it didn't show on his face.

"I'm not hiding," he pushed out through a mouth that wouldn't work right.

"Oh, sure you aren't," Cartman said, chuckling low. "I'll let you join my side, I'll let you join because we all know, Craig. We all know you're a monster." Turning them both away from the stick, the fat boy pointed towards the open door of the castle and said, "You think you can make Tweek believe you're a good person, but it's only a matter of time before he realizes what you really are too."

Craig was about to shove Cartman away when from outside there was a shout.

"THE DROW ELVES! THE DROW ELVES ARE ATTACKING!"

Face suddenly grim, Cartman said, "Well Feldspar, it looks like it's time to prove you and your group is worth something." Grabbing two short, serrated wooden knives, Cartman handed them to Craig and said, "We'll finish this later. Right now, we have a stick to protect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some action!!
> 
> Boy oh boy, am I ready for this. Seriously though, everything about this next part is going to be fun. And angsty too. And also fluffy and dramatic and insane. 
> 
> Did I mention angst?
> 
> Oh boy *evil laugh* You're going to love it.


	24. Know Thyself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, I finished this chapter last night so I didn't have to write a chapter today
> 
> I say, as I start the next chapter today even though I've technically already posted.
> 
> What can I say my darlings? Every comment you leave me fills me with Undertale levels of determination. I just can't stop writing. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek really didn't want to leave Craig alone with Cartman.

Sure, if push came to shove Craig could totally hold his own against Cartman but the fact that Cartman had wanted to talk to him alone in the first place was terrifying.  _Oh Jesus, what if he has a real weapon and he tries to kill Craig? What if this is all a trap and they're going to kill us all? What if no one ever finds our bodies and we just vanish forever!?_

"AUGH!" he shrieked, yanking on his hair hard as he twitched violently.

"Tweekers, strung tighter than a piano wire, ain'tcha?" It sounded so strange to hear Kenny's usual words uttered in that terrifyingly good falsetto, Tweek couldn't help but jerk in the boy's direction.  _Oh god, what does he want, I can't deal with him right now!_  At Tweek's reaction, Kenny only chuckled. "I knew it was only face-paint. You haven't changed a bit."

"Ngh- W-what do you want!?" Tweek all but screeched, pulling on his hair till it felt like he was going to rip his scalp off. Eyes flashing back to the castle behind him, Tweek gnawed on his lip viciously, wishing and praying for a flash of brown and blue in the form of the tall boy hidden inside.  _What if he's already dead? What if Cartman's already killed him and he claims it was an accident? What if the Stick is actually powerful and it didn't like Craig and it struck him dead!?_

"Aww, look at you!" Kenny cooed. "So worried about our little Thief." Twirling around Tweek, his dress fluttering in the breeze, the taller boy grinned wolfishly at the twitching blond.  _WHAT!? WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?!_

"GHA! N-NO I'M NOT!" Tweek burst, feeling panic, all too familiar a feeling, fill his blood. It had been a while since he'd felt quite as powerless as he did at that moment. And all Kenny did was titter and nudge him further and further away from the castle and inevitably Craig.  _Oh Jesus, what is he thinking? I can't read his thoughts! What if he's thinking something horrible!_  Needing to say something, Tweek yelped out the first thing that came to his mind.

"Why did Cartman give Craig a name and not me!"  _That sounds so selfish! I don't even want Cartman to give me a name, why did I ask that?_  Turning back to him, Kenny cocked his head to the side before grabbing Tweek's wrists and pulling his hands out of his hair so he could drag him along as he skipped backward, somehow not tripping on the dress he was wearing. It would have been impressive if Tweek could have spared the mental capacity to be in awe of it.  _Why is he doing this to me, he knows it stresses me out!_

"Oh, that?" Kenny giggled before spinning the two of them around in a circle. In a sing-songing voice that was muffled slightly by his parka, the boy told the blond, "The Grand Wizard knows just as well as the next person that to fully tame a wild animal is to give it a name and make it respond to that name~"

 _Oh god, Cartman's treating Craig like a dog!? I'll never call him by that name!_ "Craig's not a wild animal!" Tweek insisted, struggling to wrench his hands free of the Princess' grip as the desire to pull on his hair overwhelmed him. But Kenny just held on tighter and kept smiling, his long blond hair flying in his face.

"Shhh, Tweeky, calm down before you pull something," the boy insisted, batting long lashes at Tweek, who yelped again and twitched hard to the right.  _Oh god, why does he keep acting like a girl, why won't he leave me alone, why hasn't Craig come out yet WHY!?_  Spinning to a stop, Kenny let go of one of Tweek's hands so he could tap his chin thoughtfully. "Now, I believe I was going to get you a weapon suitable for a barbarian such as yourself!"

"Ngh- Fine!" Tweek squeaked, finally succeeding in freeing himself from Kenny's hold. Looping an arm around Tweek's bare shoulders once more, Kenny dragged him over to the unmanned weapons display. "W-what kind of weapon do I get?" Tweek asked nervously as Princess Kenny swept his skirts out of the way so he could kneel down and dig through one of the boxes under the table.

Dragging out what looked like a thick curtain rod with a tennis ball and chain attached to it, Kenny suddenly swung at Tweek's head. With a loud scream, Tweek leaped out of the way, smacking into the weapons table behind him, scattering swords everywhere.  _HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!_  Shaking his head, tutting under his breath, Kenny suddenly lifted a free gloved hand to his mouth and called, in a sweet voice, "Oh Butters the Merciful! I require your assistance at the armory!"

Turning back to Tweek, Kenny sighed, "I've been trying to get Cartman to put someone in charge of the armory, but he still hasn't gotten around to it. Very disappointing, in my mind. I suggested Clyde because he has the best grasp of our weapons but you know how it is, I'm just-" Whatever he was about to say was cut off by the arrival of Butters, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Heya fellas!" the boy burbled happily, before turning to Kenny and dropping into a bow. "M-M'lady!" Kenny giggled at that, demurely hiding his face behind the hand that still held the flail while he waved the free one at Butters as if in embarrassment. "W-What can I do for you?" Butters asked, smiling at Tweek like one would smile at a small, lost puppy. _Is that all I am to these people?! Oh god, it probably is!_

"Well, since Tweek just joined, he needs a weapon!" Kenny explained, dropping the mace carelessly. It clanged against the dusty ground. Kenny started to say something else but the blond couldn't understand him. Tweek tried to pay attention but all he could think about was the fact that Craig still was nowhere to be seen.  _I'm so pathetic, he's fine! I'm fine. Everything is fine. JESUS EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE WHY COULDN'T I HAVE GONE WITH TOKEN AND CLYDE!?_

"Ah- Well, I-I think y'oughta go with a club!" Butters exclaimed, grinning up at Kenny, whose eyes widened as he clapped his hands together in delight. "And w-we shoulda gotten some, I think! Right around here somewhere…" Pulling out another box, Butters occupied himself with the contents for a while before pulling out a long-handled frying pan. "There y'go, buddy, this club oughta do the trick!" he exclaimed, handing it to Tweek.

"I knew you'd be able to find something!" Kenny exclaimed happily, sweeping his long golden hair behind his shoulders before wrapping the shorter Paladin in a hug. "You're the best Butterscotch!" Butters turned bright pink at the praise and tried to stammer out a  _Shucks, it was nothin'._

Tweek, meanwhile, was busy holding the pan as far away from himself as possible. It was only too easy to imagine it as a club. It was even easier to treat it like one.  _I could really hurt someone with this. What if I hit someone too hard? What if I hit Craig on accident?! WHAT IF I SPLIT HIS SKULL OPEN AND HE DIES AND HIS FRIENDS HATE ME FOREVER AND I GO TO PRISON ALL ALONE!?_  Before he could drop the thing, Kenny caught his eyes and his lips lifted up in a smirk.

"Come on, give it a swing Tweekers. Show us your inner Barbarian~" Leaning on Butters' shoulder easily, one hand daintily placed under his chin, the Princess gave another laugh. "Aren't you going to want to show Feldspar what a good warrior you are?"

At the sound of Craig's fake name, Tweek's head snapped up and he swallowed hard. Of course he wanted the taller boy to be proud of him, of course he wanted to be a good barbarian, he just... just...  _No, I can do this!_ Remembering Craig encouraging him earlier, Tweek's knuckles whitened around the club's handle. Picturing the Noirette's stoic face as he told him  _I think you'd make a kick-ass barbarian_  Tweek felt something well up inside him.

Suddenly letting all the stress that had been building up in his system out in a rush, Tweek let out a screeching roar and lunged forward.  _I WISH THAT PEOPLE WOULD JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!_  His club connected with one of the boxes that Kenny had pulled out, destroying the thing, scattering the contents everywhere. As various maces and small battle axes went flying across the ground, Kenny covered his mouth with a hand and Butters let out a yelp.

Clapping his hands, eyes shining, Kenny exclaimed, "Oh my! What a wonderful barbarian you'll make." Unable to help the growl that escaped his throat, Tweek stared at the two boys in surprise. He was about to speak when suddenly there was a yell that startled all three of them.

"THE DROW ELVES! THE DROW ELVES ARE ATTACKING!"

"To your battle stations! Don't let them get the stick!" As everyone started going crazy, Tweek felt his heart speed up. Spinning quickly, Tweek looked over to the break in the fence that surrounded part of Kupa Keep.  _OH JESUS FUCK!_  Standing there before a crowd of green-clad boys, sword in hand, stood Stan Marsh. His cape was fluttering behind him and the feathers on his helmet whipped about in the breeze, making his pose even more dramatic.

Everyone in the keep was scrambling for weapons, trying to figure out what was going on. In the mess, Tweek saw Clyde, dragging Token over to a smaller tent on the other end of the castle. Beside him, Kenny pulled a pink bow off of his back and readied an arrow, while Butters drew his hammer and got in front of the Princess as if that was going to do anything.

_Oh Jesus, what do I do?! WHAT DO I DO?_

"Mortals!" Stan yelled, his voice carrying over the pandemonium. "You will no longer sully the Stick with your human taint. This ends today!" Brandishing his sword, which in Tweek's mind gleamed in the sun, the boy roared, "In the name of the High Elf King, Kyle, we are taking back the Stick of Truth! Rangers, advance!" As one, the Elves charged. Instantly, the humans jumped to meet them in battle.

Almost at once, Tweek found himself alone as both Butters and Kenny charged into battle. Everywhere, swords clashed and arrows flew. One such projectile almost hit Tweek, but he lifted his club in time to deflect it. There were shouts as spells were cast from both sides, covering the scene in showers of sparks and lights. Yelping as a human warrior went flying into the weapon's table, Tweek darted in a random direction, dodging arrows as he went.

"AUGH!" Tweek screamed, his free hand going for his hair, even as he attempted to keep a hold on his club.  _I'm not ready for this!_  He'd already lost track of anyone he could have joined, and around him, the battle seemed to be only getting fiercer.  _Why is this happening?! JESUS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!_

"Human scum!" Suddenly, an elf blocked his path, wielding a long sword and a shield. Tweek vaguely recognized him as a kid named Conner that was in the grade above him. But that hardly mattered at that moment. With a cry, he struck, lunging at Tweek. The sword hit his arm. Though it might have been his imagination, the blond could have sworn he saw blood leaking from the wound.  _IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING, I'LL DIE!_

With a feral cry, Tweek leaped at the boy, channeling the terror and panic into a fierce force. The elf raised his shield, but Tweek's strike cracked the wood. Deflecting the sword strike that was leveled in return, Tweek ignored the flare of pain that came from his wounded shoulder and simply swung his club again. This time it connected with the Elf's unprotected side.

Flying back with a yell, the Ranger smacked against the ground, knocking the wind out of him. Before he could get up, and before Tweek could second-guess himself, he darted forward and hit the boy again with his club. Letting out a cry of pain, the Elf fell to the ground, limp.  _Oh God, I killed him!_  Backing away from what he'd done, Tweek suddenly felt a sharp pain flare out from his chest.

Vision wavering, Tweek looked down and saw the arrow sticking out of his shoulder. Seizing it with his free hand, the blond grit his teeth and growled as he yanked it out.  _JESUS MORE BLOOD!_  But he couldn't think about that now, instead, Tweek's head swiveled in the direction of where the arrow had come from. All he saw was a mass of fighting Elves and Humans.  _Am I really going to do this?_ _THIS IS SUICIDE!_

At that moment, he didn't care.

"GGHAAAAAA!" Screaming like a banshee, Tweek suddenly charged his way into the thick of the battle. Struggling to recall all the rules Clyde had told him, Tweek swung his club left and right, dealing damage to the Rangers surrounding him. All his mind had become was a long scream that was quickly turning into nothing but white noise. His body was slowly becoming littered with battle wounds but he kept fighting, even as he felt his strength leaving him.

Suddenly, a hand touched his shoulder and golden sparks shrouded him, making some of his wounds fade away before his eyes. Turning wildly, Tweek found Butters smiling at him. The Paladin had suffered injuries of his own, but he seemed to be in high spirits regardless. "There y'go, buddy," he said brightly as the sparks died away. "You're better now!"

As the feeling started to return to his body, Tweek noticed an Elf sneaking up on Butters. With a shriek, he burst forward. Club connected with skin and the boy went down at once. Sparing only a twitchy, "Grr!" for Butters, Tweek rejoined the battle.

Around him, Elves and Humans surged, the fight too evenly matched to call. From the area that Tweek had seen Token and Clyde disappear to, more warriors started to come, bandaged injuries and healing wounds clear.  _Token's healing people!_   _We might actually win!_

Suddenly, Tweek felt his back sear in pain as a sword cut through his skin. Roaring, his movements slowed down drastically as the egregious injury dragged him down, Tweek spun to face a terrifying sight. An Elf Tweek recognized as one of the more powerful warriors of the Elven kingdoms loomed before him, his sword red with Tweek's blood. Attempting to lunge forward, Tweek's strike glanced off of the boy's armor pathetically.

 _Oh, Jesus, I'm going to die!_  "Not so dangerous now, are you, pathetic Human?!" The boy taunted, darting forward. Just barely managing to block his sword, Tweek could practically feel the life flow out of him.  _I'm going to die. This is it._  He needed to take a step back to find someone who could heal him or at least give him a chance to rest but there was no way out. he was trapped.

He managed to land a blow on the boy, but it didn't do anything substantial. As the sparks and arrows filling the air started to blur, Tweek desperately grasped onto the one thought that kept running through his mind. Craig's stoic face, and the boy's cloak around his shoulders.

Suddenly, the Elf before him let out a scream as blood spurted from his shoulder. As the blade was slowly withdrawn from the boy's flesh, Tweek's eyes caught sight of a familiar flash of brown. "Not so dangerous now, are you, Elvish filth?" As the Ranger collapsed to the ground, clutching his shoulder in pain, Tweek's heart sped up.

Holding twin, serrated blades, his hat pulled down low over eyes that were dark and dangerous, Craig loomed before Tweek.  _Craig…_  It was the only thought his mind could give him.  _Craig is here, Craig…_  He was alive, Cartman hadn't killed him after all. He was alive, and he'd just saved the blond's life. Stumbling forward, Tweek muttered, "You're alive," before falling to one knee.

"Shit," Craig muttered. "SCOTT!" he yelled, his voice not changing from his monotone, just getting louder. Tweek's vision faded in and out as he stared down at the unconscious Elf.  _Heh, at least I survived the battle, right?_  At least Craig was there.  _At least I didn't disappoint him, right? He's not disappointed, is he?_

In his delirium, even as the battle raged around them, Tweek could have sworn he felt a hand in his hair, warm, large, comforting. Then suddenly something was being thrust at him and the sensation vanished. "Here!" The voice of Scott Malkinson cut over the fighting. "Drink this, it's a healing potion."

Grabbing the drink, Tweek's shaking returned full force as he struggled to open the container. But then Craig's hands were there and he was opening the bottle for Tweek before handing it back. Drinking it down, Tweek felt the pain in his back lessen almost at once. Allowing Craig to help him to his feet, the blond breathlessly squeaked, "Thanks." When Craig only nodded and didn't say anything more, Tweek quickly asked, "W-what did Cartman want?"

Craig was silent for a moment, before saying, "It doesn't matter." There was a sudden yell as a flash of pink and purple went crashing between them. Question instantly fleeing his mind, Tweek watched as Princess Kenny went skidding across the ground. Swiveling to face the person who'd sent him flying, the blond found two Elves charging for them.

"How dare you treat a Princess like that!" Kenny shrieked, sounding furious. "Tweek, Feldspar, don't just stand there, do something!"

Tweek didn't even have to look at Craig. Simply letting that manic energy he'd been channeling so well surge upward, the blond jumped at the Rangers, a battle cry screaming from him as he did so. Like a shadow, Craig followed him, his knives drawn.

Though they were nowhere near as strong as the Elves they were against, Tweek found that it didn't matter. Every blow he landed was another bit slower the Elves became and every attempt at hitting him in return was met with Craig, who protected Tweek to a fault. The moment he'd regained his wits, Kenny joined them, firing enchanted arrows at the fighters.

 _I'm fighting! I'm succeeding! This is actually fun._  Craig's abilities as a Thief matched perfectly with Tweek's class, it was exhilarating to witness. For the first time in what might have been his whole life, Tweek didn't feel useless and helpless, he felt powerful and strong.  _And it's all because of Craig._  All because of the tall boy and his warm hands and his calm eyes.

Finally defeating the two Elves, Tweek heard Kenny cheer. "Look at you two!" the Princess exclaimed, twirling around them both, eyes shining and wide. "You're such good little fighters! Now I'm off to find the Grand Wizard, keep trying to drive them back." With a flash of golden hair, the boy vanished into the melee.

As they cut their way through Elves, helping other fighters wherever they could, Craig asked, "Where's Clyde?" His knife sliced at the straps holding an Elven shield together, destroying the boy's defenses.

Lunging forward to finish the boy off, Tweek answered, "He's back with Token, keeping him safe!" The Elf went down with a yell.

"Good," Craig answered, his voice still even despite the carnage around him. Tweek was awed by how calmly he was handling the mess about them and even though he wanted to scream, Craig's presence kept him from losing it entirely. It was a vivid contrast between them, yet Tweek knew it would never be anything else.

And he didn't care. He needed the rock that was Craig Tucker. In battle or in real life, it didn't matter. It would always be the same. Though Tweek was only ten and couldn't have possibly known what the rest of his life would look like, he was sure of this much. Craig would always be the one to keep him steady.

The thought made Tweek fight harder.

Around them, the battle was thinning. The Elves were being driven back, likely thanks to Token's healing work on wounded Human soldiers. Clearly, when the forces had been chosen to attack Kupa Keep, the Elves had been expecting a lot fewer people to be able to fight. Thus, they hadn't sent their best and they hadn't sent nearly enough. Everywhere, the tide of the battle was shifting definitively in favor of the Humans.

Taking down another Elf, Tweek suddenly found himself being forced to shield his eyes as a flash of light came from the castle and Stan went flying backward out of the doors. As he scrambled to his feet, Cartman strode out of the entrance that still crackled with power. Raising his hands, the Grand Wizard blasted back several Elves with blue light.

As he was blown back, Stan suddenly yelled, "Elves, retreat!" Disengaging from the losing battle, the remainder of the Elves started to flee, grabbing their wounded as they went. As they scrambled away, the Human warriors jeered and threw insults after them. Tweek just felt Craig bump up against him, silent and strong.  _We won, we did it!_

As the last of the Elves retreated, there came a shout from inside the keep. "Warriors, your valiance shall be remembered!" With all the dignity befitting a princess, Kenny strode from inside Kupa Keep, the Stick held above his head. "WE HAVE BEATEN THE DROW ELVES ONCE MORE!" At the sight of the Stick of Truth, all of the warriors let out a cheer.

Eyes shining, head held high, Tweek lifted his club and let out a roar of pride.

Though he couldn't see it, the blond could feel Craig smiling at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By popular request, the next two perspectives will be from other character's perspectives, other than Tweek and Craig. I'd tell you who, but then I'd have to kill you (ﾟ∇^*)
> 
> To be clear, yes, Tweek was imagining the battle as if it were real. Yes, this will likely continue. I'll be sort of fading in and out of reality so I hope it's not too hard for everyone to keep up o(≧∇≦o)
> 
> Quite likely, Craig will see things as they really are, just to keep things clear for you guys, also to give you more interest in each perspective. But we'll see, I suppose it'll depend on whether you liked this last chapter...
> 
> Maybe you should tell me if you did...
> 
> I mean maybe...


	25. Something Stinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, I know, you didn't see that coming.
> 
> To be fair, neither did I. Actually, you all technically got it right when you guessed who the extra perspective would be but I decided to go with two so I didn't upset my pattern for Tweek and Craig. I actually had the other chapter finished, but I realized this one would come first just to make things as linear as possible.
> 
> So yeah.
> 
> Enjoy.

"This is bullshit!" His fingers dug under his hat and crown, gripping and pulling at the hair he found there. "This is  _bullshit."_

There was a sigh from the general area around him. "I get it, but you can't keep stressing about it. Shit happens."

"No Stan, I will  _not_  stop stressing about it!" Kyle snapped, eyes flying off of his strategy board so they could fix on the raven-haired boy leaning against a tree branch. "This is  _bullshit!"_  he repeated for what must have been the hundredth time in the last hour. "And bullshit doesn't just  _happen,_  people plan for bullshit to occur."

"Dude, it's not that bad," Stan pointed out, shrugging. How he could say that when he had a split lip and several  _wonderful_  bruises decorating his arms was beyond Kyle. "We lost  _one_  battle."

"Which is bullshit!" Kyle exclaimed, throwing up his hands in the air.

Really, he should be inside. They should both be inside and out of their costumes and going to sleep and more importantly forgetting about the whole mess. But as the sun, which had already slipped behind the horizon, started to leave them behind, throwing the tree fort into shadow, it started to get ridiculous. Yet still they sat here, Stan leaning against his usual post and Kyle hunched over the hand-drawn map of South Park, shifting pieces around as he got progressively more and more irritable.

At least Stan was staying the night. Kyle wasn't about to pretend that this fact didn't make him feel marginally better. Even pissed and irritable like he was, Stan's presence usually could make him feel better. Even though it wasn't quite working at the moment, Kyle didn't begrudge the boy his presence. Just because the redhead was in a bad mood didn't make it Stan's fault.

"They won fair and square," Stan told Kyle, which wasn't what he wanted to hear in the slightest. "We didn't bring enough soldiers and we didn't bring enough high-level fighters. Cartman beat us. We'll deal, there's always next time."

Sometimes, Kyle  _hated_  when Stan chose to be rational. "They did  _not_  win fair and square!" the boy spat, his hand clenching over the edge of the table. "We should have had that battle in the bag, even with the forces you brought. I planned that out  _perfectly._  There's no way that fatass should have been able to beat us!"

Eyes skittering over the board once more, Kyle grit his teeth together. "You can't just add new classes in whenever you feel like it! Or let people fight when they haven't even been given a basic rundown of the game. It's  _bullshit!"_

"It's not against the rules," Stan said, shrugging. In the evening breeze, his cloak fluttered around him, lending a spark of the dramatic to the scene. "I mean we added in Elven Healers pretty arbitrarily, that means Cartman can do it too." He made sense and yet Kyle could feel his body heating up just from anger alone.

"We didn't just do it arbitrarily!" Kyle argued, clenching his fists. "We had the decency to do it and get it all set up properly before just throwing them in there! Cleric was  _not_  one of the classes a Human could be! They can be Warriors, Mages, Thieves, and  _Jews."_  He spat the last one out, having never quite forgiven Cartman for throwing in that class as if it was something that belonged in a fantasy game. "Cleric isn't on that list!"

"But what about you?" Stan asked, waving his hand in Kyle's direction. "You got a special class dude." _Why can't you be irrational sometimes?! Why are you only ever irrational when it suits you?_

"Cartman made me a High Jew Elf, that wasn't my choice!" Kyle snapped, only growing progressively more frustrated. "On the subject of bullshit,  _that_  is total bullshit! He was just trying to be a dick to me!"

"Dude, he's always a dick to you," Stan reminded Kyle, crossing his arms. "And besides, a lot of the people who joined the game in the very beginning got special allowances. Butters is the only Paladin. And Cartman is a Wizard and Kenny is a Princess. Is that even a class? And Jimmy is a Bard!"

"Jimmy isn't on anyone's side yet," Kyle reminded Stan. "And we did away with special classes a while ago!"

"It's not in the rules," Stan said stubbornly.  _Oh my god, why is he defending that fatass? He's on my side, right?_  Kyle couldn't help but feel pissed at Stan's calm belligerence. He just wanted the boy to agree with him on this one thing but no, apparently that was too much to ask.

"Which somehow makes it not bullshit?!" Kyle growled. "He purposefully took on a Cleric right before we attacked just so he could heal his wounded soldiers without having to follow any sort of rules for the character!"

"There are rules for Clerics now," Stan said, putting out his hands placating. "Come on, we'll win the next battle."

"It's still bullshit!" Kyle exclaimed, thumping the table, sending game pieces flying. "This whole thing has been bullshit and I'm sick of it Stan and I'm sick of you trying to stick up for that asshole." Face going red with anger, he ranted, "I'm done with this! I'm done with this bullshit! The rules, the fighting, the classes, this whole game, it's all bullshit and I hate it! I can't believe I'm even playing something this stupid when all it ends up being is  _bullshit!"_

Stan's face froze. "You don't mean that right?" he asked, his brown eyes going wide. He looked like Kyle had just stabbed him, which took some of the fire out of the redhead's body.

"Maybe I do," Kyle still muttered, breathing heavily, anger still clawing at his brain.

As if instantly sensing the change in his mood, Stan let out a soft sigh and pushed away from the wall. Walking over to Kyle, he looked down at the boy and said quietly, "No, you don't." For the first time that whole night, Kyle felt all the anger and resentment drain out of him in a rush, leaving him feeling exhausted.

Without even really thinking about it, Kyle led his head fall against Stan's brown tunic, hardly caring when it knocked his crown and hat off of his head. As it tumbled to the floor, the boy closed his eyes and just pressed his face into Stan's chest, letting the presence of the other boy take his anger away. Slowly, the tension in his shoulders began to unknot and his whole body just relaxed.

Stan had always had that effect on him, always been able to calm him down when nothing else could. As fingers lightly tugged on the red curls at the back of his neck, Kyle let out a sound that was something between a pitiful moan and a sigh of absolute exhaustion. Times like these, he was acutely grateful that the raven-haired boy had chosen to join his side instead of Cartman's.  _I'd probably lose it if I didn't have him around._

"You're right," he muttered, his voice muffled slightly. "I don't hate the game, it's not bullshit." Stan didn't say anything, he just kept messing with Kyle's hair and breathing slowly and steadily, which in the end was what Kyle needed from the boy. "I'm just upset, I love this game. It pisses me off that someone like that fatass could come up with something like this but it's not bullshit."

Breathing in the smell of dust and tree sap, something Stan always smelled like after a day playing the fantasy game, Kyle added, "And I'm not even that upset that Cartman wouldn't let me join his side. I mean, someone had to be the opposition and I don't think I would have liked being under Cartman for an extended period of time. I really would have lost my mind if that had happened."

"Dude, I'm glad we're not on his side either," Stan agreed fervently, the words sounding oddly rumbling from Kyle's position. "Cartman's side sucks, being an Elf is so much cooler than being a human. Besides, we're going to win in the end, so I kinda like being on the winning side." That made Kyle chuckle softly.

Straightening, at last, Kyle ran a hand through his curly hair and looked up at Stan, who was smiling at him. "We are going to win," he affirmed, looking around for his hat which he'd managed to lose in the process.  _Probably a good thing we don't usually act like this, Cartman would never shut up. He's bad enough without him making fun of us for nothing._  "Cartman is going to get his ass kicked and he's going to deserve it."

"Absolutely dude," Stan confirmed. The boy stooped to the ground for a moment before straightening and pushing something onto Kyle's head. Catching the ends of it, Kyle smiled as he adjusted his hat before fiddling with his crown. "It doesn't matter how many Clerics Cartman has."

"It's still bullshit," Kyle muttered, though without any of the fire he'd had in his tone before. "And I still can't believe he's being allowed to pull something like that but I guess it'll be fine in the end." He might not like it, but Stan was technically right. It wasn't against the rules and Cartman couldn't have possibly known that they were going to attack and probably if he asked Token, the boy would tell him that he'd been wanting to join the game anyway. It was all just a coincidence.

Looking down at the scrambled game board thoughtfully, Stan took a moment to carefully rearrange the pieces that had been knocked askew before saying slowly, "You know, there are actually a lot of things that aren't in the rules."

"Stan, we're not getting a dragon," Kyle told him, rolling his eyes. The raven-haired boy had already asked several times if they could include mythical beasts but Kyle had shot him down every time, under the assumption that having a dragon would be pretty unfair and if they had a dragon then Cartman would want one too.

"No, not that," Stan said, waving away Kyle's admonitions. "I'm just saying that it's still pretty early in this game and we don't have a lot of rules." He was grinning now and Kyle felt a stir of excitement. "I mean sure, no one is playing the game at this point because everyone has to go home but is there any rule to say that we can't play at night?"

Furrowing his brows, Kyle slowly said, "No, there isn't. But why would we play at night dude? There's no one to play with." Though he was shaking his head, already turning the idea down, he wanted to know what Stan was talking about. It promised something different and if Kyle knew anything, it was Stan's potentially stupid ideas were often also his best and most interesting.

Stan turned to face him and the smirk on his face excited Kyle far too easily. "But it's not  _against_  the rules to, say, stage an attack at night, even though there's no one around." The way he said it, Kyle's mind started to shift into gear. _This is sounding interesting…_

"What are you suggesting?" Kyle asked curiously, one of his hands going for the golf club he'd been using as his weapon. Laughing, Stan reached for the board and picked up his own piece and Kyles.

"I'm just saying that  _technically_  it wouldn't be against the rules to, say, try to take back the Stick at night, even though no one is up." Moving the two pieces towards Kupa Keep, Stan casually said, "I mean, if it's not against the rules then it's totally cool, right?"

"That's complete bullshit," Kyle breathed, awed at Stan's genius. Letting out a surprised sounding laugh, he repeated, "That's complete  _bullshit!"_

Grinning at him, Stan shrugged and said, "Yeah, but if they're going to pull some bullshit on us, then why not do it back. We'd get the Stick, and we could stick it to Cartman."

Getting to his feet despite himself, Kyle said, "It'll only work once, there's no way the rule keepers are going to let that happen more than that. Are you sure you know what you're talking about?" Despite his dissention, he was just as excited about it as Stan. This reason, among so many others, was one of the reasons he was super best friends with the raven-haired boy. Because Kyle would never be able to come up with harebrained schemes like this on his own.

"Dude, if we don't do it, you can bet that Cartman's going to do it eventually," Stan pointed out, making Kyle only more sure that he wanted to go through with it. Any chance to use an underhanded and dirty tactic that Cartman had probably already thought of before the boy could do it himself was a good chance to take in Kyle's book. Besides, with Stan grinning at him like that, there was no way that he would have been able to say no.

"You're right. And according to the rules, the Stick should be outside, because you can't keep it in your room or anything," Kyle agreed, straightening his robes and pushing out his chair. Walking to the edge of the platform, from where he could just see the turrets of Kupa Keep, the boy said, "You know what, if Cartman's going to use bullshit, then we will too. I'm sick of him pulling things over on us and being able to claim it's okay because it's not against the rules. Let's go get that stick."

"Let's," Stan agreed. Turning back towards the boy, Kyle swept past him and used the many ladders and boards littering the tree trunk to help himself climb down. Passing the small, empty tents that rested at different levels of their fort, Kyle reflected that no matter what bullshit Cartman pulled in the future, they still had a better strategy and a better chance of survival. Stan was right, they were going to win.

Fuck Cartman.

As his feet touched the ground, Kyle was careful not to let anything make too loud a sound. Though his mom hadn't cared about him being outside in the backyard at this time of night, she would probably care a whole lot more if she found out he was leaving. Dropping down beside him, Stan brushed up against his arm, the small action causing warmth to blossom through Kyle's chest.  _I'm lucky to have a friend like Stan, even if he can be irritating at times._

"Come on, we'll sneak around the way we usually attack," Stan said in a hushed voice, walking ahead of Kyle. Following his Warrior, Kyle crept across the leaf-strewn ground and towards the hole in the back of the fence. Slipping through first, Stan turned around and helped Kyle untangle his robes as they inevitably got caught on the large, splitting splinters of wood.

As soon as they'd left the backyard, the whole world fell into a deeper shade of darkness. Kyle kind of liked it, walking next to Stan with only memory and the glow of the moon to light their path. They stuck close together like they always did when they walked. Though the redhead wasn't exactly sure where their habit of walking so close together had come from, he kind of liked it. The feeling that Stan was always there, always ready to jump to his defense or calm him down, depending on the situation, was a comforting thought to Kyle.

Sometimes, he wondered if Stan felt the same. Times like this, when it was just the two of them, standing against a silent world, Kyle was pretty sure he did.

"It's still pretty cool that Craig and his friends joined the game," Stan commented, his steps virtually silent. "Even if the situation was a bit bullshit. I've been waiting for them to join."

"Yeah," Kyle agreed, nodding, remembering his soldier's descriptions of the boys. "I mean, I'm surprised that Craig went with Thief but I guess you never know, right?" His robes made a soft  _shush shush_ as the dragged across the ground, rippling slightly.

Stan thought about it for a moment before saying, "Yeah, I guess. I really thought he was going to pick Warrior, considering his history. He'd make a good fighter, but maybe he had his own reasons for choosing that class." He was silent for a moment before snorting. "What about Tweek though?"

Kyle let out a laugh at that, though he attempted to stifle the sound behind a gloved hand. "Oh my god, I must have watched those videos at least five times, he's hilarious to watch." It was true, despite Tweek being on the other side and despite the amount of damage he'd done, Kyle couldn't help but find the whole thing funny. "What is he again, a barbarian?"

"Yeah dude, I'm pretty sure. Something like a Barbarian berserker." Stan shrugged as if that fact didn't really matter. "I mean, it's kind of just a slight variation on a normal Warrior class so I suppose it's okay but Kyle, you should have seen that fucking war paint. It was legit the best thing I saw all day." Kyle had to agree and he hadn't even been there.

"They kept saying he was screeching the entire time," Kyle said, smiling as he spoke. His shoulder bumped against Stan's. "See, why couldn't we have gotten that when we were trying to get him to beat Craig? He would have whipped Craig's ass. I mean, did you see Connor? The bruise on his head was unbelievable."

"I don't know," Stan muttered, shaking his head. "I guess we were just unlucky. We totally should have won that bet though. Tweek sent Craig through a window, remember?"

"Stan, I will literally never forget," Kyle pointed out, before thinking back to the fight between the two and falling into thought. It was funny, he'd never really cared much about the aftermath of the fight, only about whether he'd won or not, but now that he thought about it, he had to admit the whole thing had turned out strangely. "You know," he started, a frown on his face. "It's weird. Craig and Tweek seem like good friends now."

Though Kyle couldn't see Stan's expression in the dark, he could tell the boy was frowning as well. "They are, aren't they?" Clicking his teeth together in thought, Stan shrugged. "I don't know, I suppose it makes sense that they wouldn't hate each other considering how we made most of that stuff up, but it's still weird. They're totally inseparable now."

Stan was right, since they'd come back to school, Kyle hadn't seen Tweek and Craig apart from each other once. "Remember when Craig beat up Cartman?" Kyle asked slowly, the memory resurfacing in his own mind as he spoke.

Snorting, Stan said, "Uh,  _yes._  That was fucking epic, I'm not gonna lie."

"Do you remember what Craig said to Tweek?" Kyle asked, struggling to recall the words that Craig had shouted. At the time, he'd been getting out of the way, worried that he might be next seeing as he too had helped orchestrate the fight, but now, he wished he could remember what Craig had said.

"Something about how he was doing it because Cartman was a dick to Tweek," Stan said, sounding thoughtful as well. For a moment they both were silent. Kyle thought about how Craig had been acting around Tweek, almost protective, almost like it was his job to keep the boy safe, and it made him furrow his brows.

"I wonder what's going on between them," he said, at last, deciding that, to be perfectly honest, he didn't care. Stan brushed up against him again and the thoughts vacated Kyle's mind, leaving his head wonderfully blank.

"I dunno dude, I think they're just friends." Shaking his head, Stan added, "I mean they're both completely crazy but yeah, they're just friends." Deciding that Stan was probably right, Kyle shrugged and just fixed his eyes on the middle distance, no longer interested in the conversation.

Reaching the edge of Cartman's yard, Stan led them both around to the large break in the fence. Looking about quietly, Kyle glanced up at Cartman's house and was gratified to find no one in the kitchen. If they were even up, it was likely that Cartman was watching his TV.  _He won't even hear us._  Following Stan's beckoning motions, Kyle crept into Kupa Keep.

He hadn't been back here in a while, not since the start of the game. He hadn't left his own fort to join in on an assault on Cartman's kingdom in a while, considering the last two attacks he'd let Stan handle. Besides, as the game progressed, he felt like the chances were getting better and better that Cartman would be underhanded enough to send some people to his kingdom while it was unguarded and wreck things just to be an ass. In the future, there were bound to be battles that he joined in on, but not at the present moment.

In the time since he'd last seen it, the kingdom had definitely changed. Though he'd seen it through drone footage, it was different to see it in person. Kyle tread softly after Stan as he took in everything possible, trying to get as good an idea of what he was dealing with for next time they had to launch an assault.

Without saying a word, Stan led Kyle around the back of the plywood towers and towards the back of the tent that served as the throne room of the castle. Lifting up the heavy material, Stan ushered Kyle in before ducking down and creeping through himself.

The torches were out inside, as were the lights that Kyle vaguely remembered illuminating the room. It was horribly dark for a moment, but then Stan produced his phone and turned on the screen, using the dim illumination to light the room. Not enough to alert anyone to their presence, but just enough to see.

Pushing aside what looked like a blow-up sex doll of an orc, Kyle lifted his robes slightly so he could step over the boxes of stuff that rested inside of the tent. Looking around, the boy took in the strategy map that was nowhere near as advanced as his, and the throne, which was frankly impressive, even though he wanted to hate it. Finally, his eyes found what he was looking for.

"The Stick of Truth," Stan breathed, holding his phone higher so that the pedestal was illuminated. Walking forward, careful not to trip on any of the trash littering the ground, Kyle reached up and carefully plucked the powerful object from its space. Though he knew it wasn't actually in control of the universe, sometimes, he had to wonder. In that moment, stealing it from Cartman in the dead of night, with only a phone screen to light his path and only Stan to accompany him, Kyle could almost believe that it was magic.

"We are so full of bullshit," Kyle breathed in return, letting out a soft exhale of air in a laugh. His entire body was thrumming with excitement. He grinned at Stan, who gave him a grin in return.  _Finally, we're getting back at Cartman!_

Then, there was a sound that made his blood run cold.

The soft, genteel sound of someone clapping gloved hands together.

As both Stan and he spun to face the sound, one of the torches blazed to life and Kyle found himself face to face with Kenny, or Princess Kenny as he was apparently still dressed as. His stupid braids had been let out and he'd actually taken off the parka for once, so the dress actually fit and the wig didn't look ridiculous, but none of that actually mattered because all Kyle could think was  _shit._

"Look at you two," Kenny said softly, in that light lilt that could have honestly passed for a girl's voice. "Coming in here in the dead of night, stealing the stick, not even telling anyone. Why, one might say that you're breaking the rules!"

Stuffing the stick into his robes, Kyle raised his golf club, readying himself for a fight. "We're not breaking any rules," he told Kenny through gritted teeth. "Don't try to stop us, Lady McCormick, there are two of us and one of you, we  _will_  win."

"Stop you?!" Kenny smirked, tossing the blond hair behind his shoulder. In the torchlight, his dress shimmered and glowed. "Oh High Jew Elf King, I was merely debating about whether to bring you the stick or not myself."

That took any and all fight right out of Kyle. Lowering his weapon slowly, mouth hanging open, the redhead struggled to find words. Thankfully, Stan found some for him. "What now?" he asked, his tone one of disbelief.

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Come on, is that really supposed to be a question?" Shaking his head, the boy floated over to the frozen Elves, his eyes glittering dangerously. "I told you I was going to bring you the Stick!"

"Why?" Kyle demanded, wondering if this was supposed to be a diversion tactic to buy him time for other Humans to show up. "That's betrayal!"

"Humans, Elves, it's the same thing," Kenny insisted, waving a gloved hand. Bating his eyes at Kyle, he got up close to the stunned boy and leaned forward slightly till they were almost nose to nose. "I'm just keeping things interesting,  _Kyle,_  are you really going to argue with me?"

Pushing the boy away with the flat of his sword, Stan demanded, "What is that supposed to mean? You were the one who chose to side with the Humans! If you're going to betray them, you might as well-"

Shaking his head, the Princess cooed, "You have no idea what's coming." Smiling simply, he waved his hand. "Now go on, I'll give you, let's say… twenty minutes, before I go and tell Cartman that your power was simply too much and I couldn't protect the Stick."

Backing up, even though he wanted to know what was going on, Kyle reached for Stan's wrist and pulled the boy after him. "I'm going to find out what you're planning Kenny," Kyle promised, hating that he was letting himself be controlled by Kenny, dressed up as a chick no less, but unable to see another way out of it.

Kenny smirked before putting out the torch, plunging them back into darkness. "That's Lady McCormick to you."

Kyle didn't dare wait another moment, taking just enough time to lift the tent flap up, both he and Stan took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOOLS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF WHAT YOU HAVE JUST SEEN!!
> 
> *giggles* But come on, that was some adorable Stan/Kyle right there. And it was important, I swear! I'm sorry the chapter was so long, I just couldn't cut it off any sooner. You'll survive, right? 
> 
> Who knows, I might have the next chapter out today as well ;)


	26. The Casual Observer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Token

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes yes, I know I should be doing it from Stan's perspective to complete the parallelism but I wanted to give you darlings a look into the mysterious mind that is Token Black's mind.
> 
> I'm so sorry to anyone who doesn't like Stan/Kyle as a ship. I suppose this is supposed to be where I say it's my story and if you don't like it, that's too bad, but honestly, it's just as much your story as it is mine. I promise it won't become a major theme, it'll only ever be there on the sidelines.
> 
> I hope it's bearable *worry* *worry*
> 
> Ah well, I'm done pontificating.
> 
> Enjoy.

"-and you were just laying waste to Elves left and right!"

_Maybe if we used more formation oriented fighting…_

"Ngh- B-but I got super injured!"

_It would be time appropriate but I don't know if we could beat the Elves in terms of flexible formations._

"You were still bad-ass! Come on Craig, wasn't Tweek being super badass?"

_If we had some cohesive training, we'd do a lot better._

"You were pretty cool."

_Of course, you'd say that Craig._

Pausing the drone footage that had been taken of the battle, Token rewound it a few seconds and focused his attention on the Ranger/Archer couplings.  _Seven couplings, five free rangers, two healers. Stan was in the castle…_

"Y-You were way more badass man!" Tweek was insisting. His jittering wasn't as bad as it had been, probably because he'd gotten his hands on some coffee after going all afternoon without it. "I was so terrified."

"That's normal, you were level one, you should be terrified." Clyde sounded excited about that fact, though that was mostly because he always sounded excited. Tweek squeaked, likely startled by something or other that Clyde had said. "Most of those people you were facing were level three at least!"

"He's level two, now," Craig pointed out flatly.  _Heh, so proud of your little barbarian, aren't you?_  Token smiled minutely before switching to the second drone angle and watching the same few seconds over again from the new point of view.

"So are you!" Tweek yelped.  _They have formations, but they're very adaptable. I wonder how long Kyle worked on these? Whereas we have nothing of the sort and what are the chances Cartman would take the time to bother?_

The drone footage, which could be accessed on the scorekeeping Facebook page of the fantasy game, existed so the rule keepers could keep track of who was at what level. Seeing as the robotics club had been all too eager to join up with the computer club to monitor the game, the Drone system had been quickly implemented. With mostly unbiased people looking over every altercation, whether it be a chance encounter or a full-scale battle, people's rankings were kept up with and there was no chance of foul play.

Humming under his breath, Token switched back to the first feed and sped it up to around halfway through the battle before taking a moment to watch the changes in the Elves' tactics.

"You two only got to level two? Hah, Token's level three so he's got  _both_  of you beat!" Clyde announced as if it had been a competition. At the sound of his name, the boy glanced up, pausing the footage so he could focus fully on what was going on around him.

"You're almost level nine," Token pointed out, raising his eyebrows at Clyde, who stuck out his chest proudly. "I don't think it matters what level the rest of us are quite yet. Other than working out our abilities, which neither of you has done yet."

"Well, considering the Elves kind of attacked right away, they didn't have much of a chance to do something like that," Clyde admitted, screwing up his face slightly before shrugging. "Oh well, you guys can figure it out!"  _How eternally cheerful…_  Token thought, his eyes wandering.

"Oh Jesus, what do you mean we have to choose our abilities!?" Tweek was sitting on the couch alone at the moment, Craig having vanished behind the bar to find something to drink. Absently, Token took note of what he was wearing. His war paint had faded slightly with time, though there were still dark stripes across his face. Token wondered if he was imagining the clear finger marks in the streaks or if they were really there. Because they'd come straight to the rich boy's house after the battle, Tweek hadn't had a chance to pick up a shirt of his own. Right now, he was wearing an oversized tee-shirt that had the faded words  _Red Racer_  emblazoned across its front.

Though it didn't seem like anything to care about, it immediately became obvious why this mattered when Craig reappeared from where he'd been, fetching drinks. "Of course we do, how else will we know what we're able to do?" Craig said flatly. He'd changed out of his Thief costume into a spare set of clothes he'd left over at Token's at one point or another. All except for the shirt, which was an old shirt of Token's.

Because Craig's spare shirt was currently being worn by Tweek, who muttering something about pressure while he pulled on his hair.

_Hmm…_

Sitting down right beside Tweek, close enough that the two of them were squished together, Craig looked over at Token. Feeling compelled to say something, the boy pulled up the Facebook app on his tablet and said, "You might as well build your characters now. I went ahead and did mine already."

Of course, the scorekeepers had been forced to develop different abilities for him and attempt to create a balanced character so Token hadn't had much of a choice but to work on it early but those were just details.

"OH GOD WHAT IF WE CHOOSE THE WRONG THING!?" Tweek all but screeched, tearing at his hair.  _Of course he'd worry about something like that._  Token waited for a beat, almost able to time the inevitable. Like clockwork, Craig's hand came up and landed in Tweek's hair. His twitching slowed almost at once, just as Token had known it would.

_Hmm…_  Token thought again as Tweek curled up against Craig's side and accepted the cup of coffee the boy offered to him. His thoughts were cut off by Clyde, who snatched the tablet out of his hands and passed it to Craig.

"Come on, you need to start stacking your abilities! Here, you should be able to just go to the main page, then go to the abilities section…" Pulling a face, Clyde grabbed the tablet out of Craig's hands once more and quickly found what he was looking for. "Okay, just choose what you want!" He shoved it back at the Noirette.

As Craig looked over it, Token pulled out his phone and brought up the drone footage there. But even as he returned to watching it peacefully while Craig and Clyde argued about which build was the best, his attention wandered.

To be fair, it was wandering in a very specific direction. Glancing back up at his friends, Token watched as the device was passed to Tweek and the boy instantly started freaking out over the choices.  _Wait for it… Now._  Craig put his arm around the smaller boy and pulled him closer, calming his fear. Clyde didn't even blink at this, but Token took note of it mentally.

He'd been noticing a trend, after all. It was an interesting one and not something that he was prepared to put any energy into disrupting. That thing was the strange relationship between Tweek and Craig. A little over a month ago, they hadn't even spoken to each other before. Now, they were inseparable to the point of drawing attention to themselves because of it. So far, it hadn't caused any problems, but Token found himself deliberating over the change every time he spent an extended period of time around the two.

It was strange to see Craig, someone who disliked even normal human contact and always tried to get away when Clyde tried to hug him, be so touchy with another person.  _And a boy to boot. Hmm…_ Well, Token wasn't about to make a judgment one way or another in that department. If Craig wanted to act like that with Tweek, it was his business, but that didn't mean he was above observing it. It was just fascinating to watch, the seemingly endless excuses Craig found to touch Tweek in some way.

It was the hands in the boy's hair, the arms around his shoulder, the hand holding and the way they always sat pressed up against each other. Token had lost count of how many times he'd seen each thing occur at this point, it happened so frequently. Even something as simple as choosing out a character class seemed to involve far more casual contact that seemed necessary.

Another thing he'd picked up on was how Tweek reacted to it, the way he always calmed down. Craig's presence seemed to do that for the boy, took his panic and turned it into something approaching peace. Every time he screeched, pulled on his hair, banged his head on a table or just twitched in fear, Craig was there with his casual touches and points of contact and like magic, Tweek would settle right down.

To be honest, Token didn't know much about Tweek, he didn't even really know that much about Craig, despite how often they hung out, but he knew how to read people. For him, both of the boys were as good as open books.  _They take comfort in each other._  Craig would have probably flipped him off if Token said any such thing, so the boy kept his mouth shut, not wanting to disturb the dynamic that existed between them.

_I wonder if he realizes how much he cares about Tweek?_  Token doubted it or at least doubted that Craig would put it in as many words. That right there was another fascinating thing to watch because, in all his years of knowing Craig, the boy had never really  _cared_  about another person before. Oh sure, Craig would probably quibble about the semantics, but Token could see it was true. The Noirette was practically  _known_  for his lack of shits-to-give about anyone and everyone.

And yet here was Tweek, a twitchy, spastic, short blond, a boy who was every bit Craig's antithesis, becoming that thing that Craig could care about. To be honest, Token wasn't the least bit surprised. Ever since Craig had started watching Tweek every day in class, the rich boy had assumed something like this would happen.

So maybe the reason they were so close so quickly, why Craig touched Tweek so easily and Tweek took such comfort in it, was that they'd both been starving for human affection for years. Token was quick to label it as affectionate because that's what he saw it as. Perhaps it was easy to see it as something else, but what he saw were the seeds of something that was going to become something so much bigger.

Or maybe he was seeing things that weren't really there. It was a tossup when it came to those two. Letting out a soft sigh, Token realized that he wasn't paying attention to the drone footage anymore. Pausing the video feed at random, he stared at the screen. It was easy to pick out the various people in the midst of battle, each of their costumes standing out against the green of the Elves. Token cracked a smile as he steadily identified each person.

There, in the corner of the yard, Token found himself, his hands held out over squirming warriors who were anxious to return to battle. He could still remember standing there, struggling to remember the various healing spells clerics had at level one while yelling at Clyde to  _for the love of god, pay attention to the people attacking them._  Not that it had worked very well, Clyde had been insistent on throwing in his two sense every few seconds.

Speaking of which, there was Clyde, guarding Token fearlessly. His helmet was askew in the shot, knocked off balance by an Elven arrow. He had his teeth grit together in an insane grin, and his sword was flashing through the air. It was easy, from this distance, to pretend that it was real. That the glare on the lens was the reflection of steel and iron instead. He looked pretty cool like that, Token had to admit.

Eyes traveling over the rest of picture at last, Token picked out Butters, waving his hammer about with what was probably supposed to be a fierce expression. Near the castle, the boy found Kenny, or Princess Kenny as he apparently wanted to be called now, firing a pink plastic bow against an Elven ranger. Stan and Cartman weren't anywhere to be seen, but Token was pretty certain that they'd been inside the keep. He couldn't be sure though, the footage of everything that happened inside both castles wasn't available for viewing.

He was about to set aside his phone and try to rejoin the conversation his friends were still having, but something caught his eyes. A head of wild blond hair, and a yellow puffball topping a familiar blue hat. Smile crawling across his face, Token took a screenshot of the image then pulled it up so he could zoom in.

Tweek and Craig were locked in combat with a Ranger/Archer pair, their weapons both drawn and swinging. At that moment, Tweek had been in the process of lunging forward at the Ranger, his frying pan raised like the club it supposedly was. His green eyes were wild and happier than usual, Token could only assume that was thanks to the boy guarding him.

Craig was in the process of crouching low, shielding Tweek from an arrow aimed for his chest. Token could see the determination hiding behind that flat expression, the fierce loyalty and pride. Together, the two of them looked strong, far more powerful than the game dictated they should be. Those expressions were the faces of those who were standing strong against the rest of the world. Token could practically feel the bond between the two.

Glancing up, he caught Craig's eye, who had disengaged from the conversation with Clyde and Tweek in favor of staring his way. The boy's arm was still curled around Tweek's shoulders protectively, and the sight made Token's eyebrows hike up for a moment before he visibly shrugged it off. However Craig wanted to act around Tweek was his business, Token wasn't about to pretend otherwise.

"What about you Token?!" Tweek's squeak drew the boy out of his thoughts at last. "Did you get a weapon?"

"Dude, I don't think he needs one!" Clyde bubbled, bouncing on the coffee table, where he sat. Eyes flying to Token, he asked, "Do Clerics use weapons? They don't, right? Maybe you'll get a staff or something!" Chuckling under his breath at Clyde's enthusiasm, Token turned off his phone and thought about the question for a moment.

"No, I don't think I'll need one, considering I'm mostly doing holy magic," Token decided at last, thinking of the different options for a staff. "Though I might be trying to dual class as an assassin, just so I can have some close-range damage." Tweek's eyes widened at the idea, his mind no doubt racing with different ideas of what that would look like. Craig just nodded in approval.

"I think that'd make a good combination," he said coolly, grabbing for his soda and taking a sip. "But you'll have to get it past the game mast." Craig made a good point, and Token frowned at it. He wasn't really sure who the scorekeepers favored yet, but the chances that it would be Cartman were admittedly pretty low.

"I could probably manage to sell it to them," Token said at last, as though it would be simple. "Though I'm pretty sure they're already fed up with me after choosing Cleric as my class." It was true, he'd ended up trying to deal with seven different moderators, all of them struggling to put together a character that matched the skills he'd already used. The whole mess hadn't been funny per say, but it was also fair to say Token had gotten a lot more enjoyment out of the process than anyone else involved.

"Jesus, do you think I annoyed them by choosing Barbarian?" Tweek squeaked, grabbing for his coffee before sucking it down. The amount of coffee the boy consumed was unreal, but Token supposed he'd never been addicted to something so he wouldn't know. "Th-they're probably going to make my character suck because they don't like me! What do I do?!"

Craig's hand instantly went to Tweek's hair while Clyde chirped, "Don't worry Teacup! They aren't going to be upset with you for something like that. Besides, Barbarian is just a variation of a Warrior class, you'll be fine." Tweek didn't look entirely convinced, but he also wasn't twitching as hard as before, which in both Clyde's and Craig's books was an improvement.

Glancing up at the clock behind the sofa, Clyde made a plaintive noise. "Ugh, it's getting late." Turning to Token, the brunette put on a pathetic expression and begged, "Token, let me stay over. I don't want to have to walk home!"

Token rolled his eyes. Sometimes, he felt like he was older and he was dealing with a bunch of children. "Clyde, you always stay over," he pointed out reasonably. Looking to both Tweek and Craig, Token asked, "Do you two want to stay as well?"

Craig nodded instantly, which Token had expected. "Yeah, sure dude." Though Craig didn't exactly talk about it, Token knew full well that his home wasn't exactly the most pleasant place. It wasn't even anything that the boy had said, it was just a generally bad feeling Token got about the whole situation. Maybe someday, when they all got older, Craig would say something more, but for now, the rich boy was happy to share his home as a haven for the Noirette.

Unlike Craig, Tweek instantly started panicking. "AUGH! WHAT TIME IS IT!?" he screeched, his hands clenching over his coffee mug. "OH GOD MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL ME!" Whipping his head around, Tweek made a spastic keening noise as he reached for his hair with one hand and pulled hard. "I- I need to call them! What if they think I've been abducted and they call the police and then-"

Craig opened his mouth to say something but Clyde cut him off with an excitable, "It's okay, Token has a phone upstairs! You can use that one to call them." Grabbing for the wrist of the hand that was in his hair, Clyde pulled the twitching blond to his feet and started dragging him towards the stairs. "You should ask if you can stay over, that would be so sweet! We could all play video games or watch Red Racer."

As he was tugged along, Tweek shot Craig a pathetic look, like he was looking for help or just for what to do. All Craig did was tilt his head to the side slightly. Though Token couldn't see his expression, he could imagine what it would be. One of those soft, calming expressions that he'd magically developed over the past month just for dealing with Tweek. It worked apparently because Tweek's mouth snapped into a worried line even as he followed Clyde up the stairs anyway.

The moment they had left, Token's attention focused on Craig. Though the boy was obviously distracted, no doubt thinking about Tweek, Token opened his mouth. "Tweek did pretty well today," he commented, watching Craig's reactions carefully.  _He didn't need you to protect him, he was fine. You don't need to worry so much._

Facing forward, Craig stared at the blank TV as he drunk his soda. It was funny, when Tweek wasn't around, Craig went right back to being almost the boy that Token used to know. The one that didn't care about anything, the one that was unbelievably alone. "Yeah, I'm proud of him," he said, flatly.

Token almost laughed, but that probably would have ruined it. Instead, he simply said, "I know." Craig's head rotated to face him at that, but Token ignored the look Craig gave him. Pulling out his phone once more, Token turned it on and stared at the picture that came up, the one of Tweek and Craig fighting together. "What did Cartman say?" he asked at last, his attention going back to the Noirette.

"Nothing important," Craig muttered, his brows furrowing slightly.

_Liar._

So Token changed tactics. Craig was easy to play, if you knew how to do it. "He's calling you Feldspar to keep you in line," the boy commented, methodically putting what pieces he had together. "Cartman's still afraid of you." Anyone who'd watched the boy's behavior closely would have seen it, and Token had definitely been doing that.

"He called me a monster," the tall boy suddenly said, still in a monotone.  _So that's what he said._  Token was almost impressed by how quickly Cartman had picked up on the one thing that would actually bother Craig, other than Tweek.  _Though it has to do with Tweek, doesn't it?_

Examining Craig's expression, Token said, "Tweek doesn't think so."

"What if he's wrong?" Craig asked. He probably hadn't meant to say that, but Token knew that it was unconscionably easy to get Craig say things he didn't want to if you pushed him in just the right way. Leaning over and grabbing his tablet off the coffee table, Token slid his phone in front of Craig, drawing the boy's attention to the picture on it.

"He will never be scared of you," Token stated with absolute certainty.  _He might hate you, he might not always believe you care, but he will never be scared of you again._  Turning on the device in his hands, Token closed down the tabs Clyde had opened for the other two boys.

"How do you know that?" Craig asked, but Token didn't answer.  _You'll figure it out yourself someday Craig, if I helped you now, that would be like cheating._ So instead of paying attention to Craig, Token simply flicked through his tabs.  _I should probably watch the rest of those videos…_  Ah, but he could do that later.

He was about to turn the tablet off when he passed by Cartman's Facebook page and something caught his eye. Furrowing his brows, Token paused and looked at the last post. Eyes widening, Token muttered, "Oh, Tweek's going to want to stay for this."

"What?" Craig asked, Token's phone still held in his hand.

Clicking on the message, Token blinked several times before letting out a soft whistle. "Get dressed in your costume again, you're going to need it." Getting to his feet, Token turned off the device and put it down, already mentally working out how long it would take to get to Cartman's house. Taking his phone from the confused Craig, Token quickly brought up his Facebook there and sent a message to Cartman.  _[Craig, Clyde, Tweek and I will be there soon]_

"What's going on?" the Noirette asked, following Token as he walked towards the stairs. "What the fuck are you talking about?

Turning around, Token told him, "The Elves just took back the Stick and Cartman is pissed."

Eyebrows going up, Craig softly muttered, "Well shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, can I just say that I crammed so many little things in here, I can't even begin to pick them all out. It's crazy, I just couldn't help myself.
> 
> So this is actually going to become a thing. Every twenty-four chapters, I'll throw in two perspectives of someone else. If you want to suggest who it is next, I encourage you to do so! The popular vote will likely win, after all.


	27. Sleep Baby Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUUGHGHGHG!!!
> 
> This chapter is super late and I feel so guilty, you have no idea. I feel like a total monster, someone kill me, seriously, I don't deserve to live.
> 
> Ugh, I spent the day hanging out with one of my friends. He and I watched Baby Driver while trading the spiciest memes. I shouldn't have, but I couldn't resist. Now it's so late and I'm only just finishing this chapter. *sniffles* I'm a monster.
> 
> On an entirely unrelated note, I have an important question for everyone that will become clear later on. What has been your favorite line of the story? Honest question, and it'll be important, I just want to know which line jumped out at you the most. Any chapter, any perspective, I'm simply curious... (they lie)
> 
> Ah, but enough about me.
> 
> Enjoy.

"No, he's doing this because he's a dirty Jew Elf and he wants to win!" Cartman was pacing back and forth between his Castle while the meager amount of Human warriors he'd been able to summon at this time of night stood before him. He was currently on the phone, holding the device out in front of him while keeping it on speakerphone. Craig felt bad for the poor kid who'd been woken up for something so petty and stupid.

_"But it wasn't technically against the rules,"_  The boy on the other end of the line protested, his voice slightly muffled. Cartman groaned and dragged a hand across his face. It was almost amusing watching him get so upset, but Craig wasn't easily amused and to be honest, he didn't want to be out at this time of night either.

Tweek was standing next to him, shivering from the cold. Craig could hear his teeth clacking together, the sound more than a little distracting. They were all dressed in their costumes again, and at this time of night, after the sun had set, it was freezing outside. So here Tweek was, shirtless once again and not better off for it.

Craig's mind instantly went to his mystifying conversation with Token.  _He will never be scared of you._  That's what the black boy had said, with such conviction that Craig had almost wanted to believe him.  _How did he even get me to talk about that?_  It didn't really matter, in the end, it was just another thing Craig found himself thinking about. It felt like he just kept getting hit with reasons to stay away from Tweek, which pissed him off. Mostly for reasons he didn't even understand.

What he wanted to do was wrap his cloak around Tweek's shoulders and be done with it, but something in him warned that this wouldn't be a good idea. Not when Cartman was already in a foul mood and the fat boy was the very person that Craig most wanted to protect Tweek from.

Of course, at that moment, Cartman was more than a little preoccupied. "But it was complete bullshit!" he was screeching into the phone, his entire body conveying how annoyed he was. "You can't just show up in the middle of the night, beat up a princess, then take the Stick! That should be common sense!"

Eye's gravitating towards Kenny, Craig had to admit that he looked worse for wear. His wig was tangled and dirty and his dress was stained and torn but the boy sat there regardless, a grave expression on his features.  _How does it feel to have two of your friends turn against you?_  Craig wondered, snorting under his breath. That wasn't to say he was glad about Kenny getting his ass handed to him, but at the same time, he wished he could have seen it.

_"Well, to be fair, you did kinda cheat with the whole Cleric thing. You would have lost that battle if you hadn't bent the rules like that,"_  the gamekeeper pointed out, yawning. Craig glanced at Token, who shrugged and turned back to Cartman.  _"Why can't we deal with this tomorrow?"_  the boy Cartman was talking to all but begged.  _"It's pretty late…"_

_"Because,"_ Cartman started, like it was obvious. "We're taking the Stick back tonight. That Jew Elf is not going to get away with this kind of shit!" Craig's eyes traveled over the gathered kids skeptically at those words. They'd only been able to get together a dozen, roughly, considering the time. All of the Humans looked tired, most of them having been awakened by the call to arms. So far, all they'd gotten to do was listen to Cartman gripe over the phone, which wasn't exactly the most riveting of activities.

Tweek's teeth kept chattering. Craig was about ready to throw in the towel and just go home, taking the blond with him. This wasn't worth it.  _Damnit, why are we even here?_  His house was just a block away, they could be there in a few minutes, whereas this could go on for an hour or more.

_"You can't attack their base at night,"_  the game master argued.  _"That's against the rules, you'll have to wait until morning."_ Craig looked up at the sky.  _Thank fuck. Can we leave now?_

Cartman looked ready to hit someone. "But Kyle did it! He fucking came here like the sneaky Jew he is and took the Stick of Truth in the middle of the night! That's fucking bullshit!"

From behind them, there was the squeak of a door. Tweek yelped as if someone had hit him and twitched hard at the unexpected noise. As light spilled out over their gathering, Cartman's mom called, "Sweetie, it's getting late. You should probably be quiet when you're talking to your little Druid friends."

"Oh my god Mom, we're not fucking Druids! We're Warriors of Zaron!" Cartman snapped at his mother, his beady eyes narrowing.

"Well why don't you and your Warriors keep your voices down?" his mother suggested, still in that absently pleasant voice. Craig wasn't really paying attention to the conversation; his focus was on Tweek, who still hadn't calmed down. Catching the boy's eye, Craig tried to communicate without words that everything was going to be fine. All Tweek did was twitch harder and make an involuntary sound.

"Ugh, shut up mom!" Cartman spat, glaring venomously at his mom.

"Okay Sweetie, just be inside soon," the woman said as if her son wasn't a total monster. Craig rolled his eyes. Times like these, he realized that his family wasn't the only dysfunctional one in South Park. As the door was closed, plunging them back into dim lighting, Cartman stared back down at his phone.

Apparently sensing the interruption was over, the boy on the other end of the line said,  _"We added a rule after it happened. You'll have to attack him tomorrow, otherwise, the battle won't count."_  As if deciding that was that, the boy finished with a clipped,  _"Goodnight,"_  and hung up.

"Oh boy," Cartman muttered, kneading his forehead in an attempt to calm down. Craig just stood there between Clyde and Tweek, silent and patient. They'd been standing outside for a while now, waiting for Cartman to get off the phone with one of the game masters. The subject? The Stick of Truth, and the fact that Kyle and Stan had apparently broken into the kingdom and stolen it while no one was around. To be honest, Craig was a little hazy on the details, he'd only figured out that much from what he'd heard Cartman saying over the phone and what Token had told him.

"Um…" Stott Malkinson tentatively raised his hand. "What's going on?" A valid question, one Craig would have asked himself if he wasn't so preoccupied with being irritated at the whole thing in general.

Cartman gave another long sigh of utter exhaustion. "I need a moment. Princess Kenny, would you like to tell our warriors what happened tonight?" Getting to his feet, Kenny bobbed his head at Cartman before walking before the other boys.

Fixing each of them with calm eyes, Kenny disclosed, "I was staying late tonight, studying our strategy, when it happened." Running fingers through tangled blond hair, the boy continued, "I had just put out the lights when I heard a rustling from around the corner. I hid, wanting to know who it was." Craig struggled not to roll his eyes. Why Kenny couldn't just tell them the story normally was beyond him.

"I assumed it was going to be Cartman, but when no one came around the front, I started to grow worried. Of course, I grabbed the Stick, not wanting anything to happen to it." Putting a hand to his forehead, Kenny gave a great sniffle. "The High Elf and his right-hand Ranger appeared before I had time to run. I tried to fight them but it was just too much. They overpowered me and took the Stick before I could stop them!"

Several of the gathered kids gasped. Tweek let out a shriek and tugged at his hair, making Craig's stomach clench. He could care less about Kenny's dramatic retelling of the story, all he cared about was the boy beside him, who just kept twitching and shivering.  _Don't do anything stupid._

Finally done pouting, Cartman stepped forward and put a hand on Kenny's shoulder. "Thank you, Lady McCormick," he said, his voice coated in sympathy. "I know that was very hard for you." Looking at the rest of the people gathered, Cartman continued, "Gentlemen, tonight, the Stick of Truth was stolen from us by the wicked Drow Elves. They used underhanded and dirty tactics that were complete bullshit to do so. Now, we are at a disadvantage. We have been slighted, and what's more, Kyle won't answer my Facebook messages. This will not stand."

Looking at each of them, the boy started pacing again. "I called you all here in the hope that we could reclaim the Stick tonight and keep the Elves from gaining any sort of advantage. Unfortunately, fighting them at night is  _suddenly cheating_  so getting the Stick back tonight is out of the question."

"So then what  _are_  we doing tonight?" Clyde asked, tilting his head. Cartman groaned, as if asking a simple question was just too much for him to handle. Craig on the other hand quite agreed with Clyde, if they weren't going to fight, then why had they come all this way?  _I could be at Token's right now. Tweek could be warm and happy instead of freaking out and shivering._

"If there's nothing we can do tonight, can we go home now?" another kid asked, sounding tired. Cartman glared at the boy, who just said, "We can figure it out later!"

"Look, if you're not useful, you can go home," Cartman grumbled, obviously not happy about the fact. "Everyone else is going to help plan out an attack against the Drow Elves. That means Princess Kenny, Clyde, and myself are going to stay. Paladin Butters was unfortunately detained, but we will have to make do. The rest of you are free to go, though be warned, we will be riding against the Elves tomorrow."

Tiredly, those who had not been named started to filter out of Cartman's backyard, their gratefulness at being dismissed clear. Craig was tempted to leave as well, but when Token didn't move, he resigned himself to staying. Beside him, Tweek whipped his head around, looking between Craig and the people leaving before whimpering and staying as well. For a moment, Craig debated whether he should just leave with Tweek, but when Clyde shot him a pleading look, he resigned himself to staying.

"Hmph," Cartman huffed, watching the other kids leaving sourly. "We should probably get working, there is no time to waste," the boy muttered, turning around and heading for the castle. "Daylight will come soon."

Clearing his throat, Token stepped forward. "If I may, Grand Wizard," he said, his tone level and calm. "I would like the opportunity to help with your strategies, I feel I may be of some use." Turning back towards the black boy, Cartman narrowed his eyes.

"Token, you just joined today, what makes you think that you know the Drow Elves better than I do?" Cartman asked, sneering. Tweek squeaked out something about pressure, but Token didn't move, he just blinked peacefully.

"I've been studying them for a while now," Token admitted, which caused Cartman to frown suspiciously but also caused Kenny to raise his eyebrows. "I know how they operate and I think I can help improve your strategy." Narrowing his eyes, Cartman just stared at Token. As Craig had expected, Token didn't flinch.

"If I may," Kenny interjected, coughing daintily behind his hand. "I think that Token might be of some use. Give him a chance at least, Grand Wizard." Batting his eyelashes at Cartman, Kenny clasped his hands together, and said pleadingly, "For me?"

With a great sigh, Cartman said, "Very well Princess Kenny. Token, I suppose you can join." Beckoning them forward, Cartman said, "Now come along, we might be able to reach Butters through the scrying mirror."

"How wonderful, I'm sure Butterfree would be  _delighted_  to see your face in the scrying mirror," Kenny told Cartman with an odd light in his eyes before primly spinning on his heels and striding into the castle. As his skirts vanished, he called, "Careful with your  _warriors,_  Grand Wizard!"

Grumbling something under his breath, Cartman strode after the Princess, his staff making a  _tap, tap, tap,_  as he followed the boy up the drawbridge. Token and Clyde took half a beat longer to leave, Craig didn't blame them. He didn't want to be anywhere near Cartman at the moment either. Beside him, he heard a soft, "Ngh- oh god-" and his mouth tightened into a hard line.

Nodding to Clyde and Token when the two boys looked back at him, Craig instantly focused his attention on Tweek. The boy was staring at him like he was caught between panic and doing nothing. He was back in his battle outfit, the pan he'd been given as a club already secured by his belt. Though he looked cool, all Craig cared about was the fact that he was whimpering and shivering.

"Jesus man," he hissed, crossing his arms over his chest and hunching his shoulders. "Why would they do something like that? Do you think someone betrayed us?! W-what if Princess Kenny is a traitor?! What if they're all secretly working for the aliens?" Sighing, Craig moved closer, against what was probably his better judgment.  _Fuck it, no one's here anymore anyway._

Reaching out an arm, Craig grabbed Tweek's shoulder and pulled the boy closer, just like he'd wanted to do for the past twenty minutes. "She-  _He_  isn't a traitor, Kenny's just a dumbass," Craig told Tweek firmly, using his other hand to pull his cloak around Tweek's bare shoulders. Though his shivering didn't stop, his twitching stilled considerably. "It'll be fine, we'll kick the Elves' asses and get the Stick back."

When Tweek didn't say anything more, Craig carefully nudged the boy towards the low wooden bench someone had set up at some point. Sweeping the leaves off of it, Craig sat down, pulling Tweek with him. Easily, Tweek relaxed against Craig, allowing the boy to more firmly wrap his cloak around him.

"H-how long do you think they'll be in there?" Tweek asked, his hair brushing against Craig's chin. Lifting a hand, Craig put it in Tweek's hair, even though he didn't really need to.  _He trusts me… Why am I letting Cartman get to me?_

"Dunno," Craig answered simply. "Not too long." Dragging his gloved hand through Tweek's hair for a moment more, the Noirette let his hand fall back to his side. Almost at once, Tweek's head fell against Craig's chest, like he was too tired to keep it up. Craig felt something in his chest go tight, but he didn't understand why, so he ignored it.

Lazily, his attention strayed, his eyes wandering up towards the clear sky. Above them, the galaxies spread beautifully, like a shining blanket. Slowly, he let his eyes trail over the softly glittering stars.  _So much better than anything I can put up on my ceiling…_  Nudging Tweek to get his attention, Craig waited for the boy's head to come up before pointing up. "Look."

Tweek's tired eyes blinked then widened as they stared up at the sky. Mouth parting in a silent  _oh,_  the blond asked, in a hushed voice, "Do you know all of those?" Watching Tweek's wonder, all those dazzling lights reflected back in vivid green, Craig found a smile tugging on his mouth.

"I know some," he said noncommittally, easily able to recall the different star maps he'd spent hours reading and rereading. With his free hand, he traced a grouping of stars and said softly, "That one's Sagittarius right there." Moving his hand up, he continued, "And that's Aquila the Eagle, I think."

As he spoke, Tweek's head fell back to Craig's chest, though he was still following Craig's hand, a peacefully happy expression on his face. Though the Noirette could still feel the boy shivering, it was much less, now that he'd been warmed up a bit and successfully distracted. Gradually, Craig managed to get distracted as well as his concentration was placed on remembering as many constellations as possible.

It was fun, and he found himself smiling through the entire thing. Tweek's breathing got slower as time passed and Craig found himself starting to run out of constellations to point to, but he didn't much care. Honestly, he was content, just sitting there with Tweek.

"It's too late in the season to see all of it, but that's Taurus right over there," Craig was saying, pointing to the horizon. "But right above it is Perseus. And there's his Pegasus above him, get it?" When Tweek didn't answer, Craig glanced down at the boy. Somehow, he was unsurprised to find the blonde's eyes closed in sleep.  _Huh, I didn't know he could sleep._ He looked so peaceful though, Craig didn't want to wake him up.

Suddenly, another person slid onto the bench beside Craig. Turning, Craig's mood soured when he found Kenny McCormick resting his interlaced hands on his knee while he batted his eyelashes at the Noirette. "Aww, look at our little Tweekers," Kenny cooed, his voice soft enough not to disrupt Tweek. "He's so cute when he's asleep." Tugging on a piece of his hair, the boy hummed and muttered, "Actually, when was the last time that he actually slept?" Sticking out his bottom lip, he said, "Must be all tuckered out from a full day of fighting."

Flipping Kenny off, Craig muttered, in an even softer voice, "What do you want McCormick?"

Flattening a hand over his heart, Kenny opened his mouth in feigned horror. "Feldspar, breaking character so thoughtlessly? You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" Expression quickly slipping back into a grin, the boy primly corrected, "That would be  _Lady_  McCormick to you."

It was harder, Craig realized, to slip into his usual mindless, careless attitude when Tweek was around. Generally, something like Kenny talking to him wouldn't have even ruffled his feathers, but Tweek was sound asleep on his shoulder and his hair kept brushing his chin and that somehow changed something. Craig wouldn't have been able to vocalize the feeling, but it was the reason that he simply fixed the boy before him with a flat stare and said, "What,  _Princess?"_  instead of something else.

Looking down at Tweek for a beat longer, Kenny did a half-turn on the bench so he could lean against Craig's free shoulder. "I just came to warn you, Fucker, about tomorrow." The high voice was gone, so too was the fake, princess-y airs he'd been putting on. Glancing upwards, the boy murmured, "You're going to get your ass handed to you and there's nothing you can do about it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Craig growled, wanting to push Kenny off of him but still unwilling to disturb Tweek. He didn't want to listen to cryptic warnings coming from annoying boys dressed up in pink satin and lace. What he wanted to do was go back to staring at the stars and just listening to Tweek's soft breaths but apparently, that was too much to ask for.

Thankfully, Kenny seemed to be in a sharing mood. "Cartman's going to send you against the Elves tomorrow and they're going to be beyond ready while you are only going to have yourself and a ragtag band of useless soldiers, courtesy of the planning of yours truly." He said this like Craig should be proud of him, which he most certainly fucking wasn't.

"So you're setting me up to fail?" Craig interjected, tone flat but eyes murderously boring into the back of Kenny's skull.

"You misunderstand me, Craig, I'm not setting you up to fail," Kenny corrected, finally straightening so he could do another quarter revolution and face the opposite way as the Noirette. "I'm setting us all up to succeed once Cartman pulls his shit together." Waving a hand dismissively, he continued, "He always does this, he always fails, it's always pretty pathetic, but he never learns."

"Why is he sending me though?" Craig asked, trying to figure out if he should be upset with Kenny or not.

Giving Craig a sly look, Kenny reached a gloved hand up and flicked the puffball on the top of Craig's hat. "Because he wanted to send Tweeky there, and I didn't think you'd be too happy about that." Apparently satisfied that he'd said his piece, Kenny got to his feet. "Now if you excuse me, there's a bed waiting somewhere that just has  _Princess_  written all over it. It's not mine, but it's somewhere."

Craig didn't say a word as the boy giggled and walked off.

Stirring from his resting place on his shoulder, Tweek blinked his eyes groggily and slurred, "Wh-what's going on?"

Hand instantly going to Tweek's hair, Craig softly answered back, "Nothing." _No, nothing at all…_ he thought. Aloud he murmured, "You must have been dreaming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sniffles* excuse me while I go cry because Tweek is just too pure.


	28. Say A Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh!!! I love all the pieces you pulled out of my story!! Your favorite quotes all really helped, though I won't say why yet. If ever a line really sticks out at you, say so!! Trust me, someday it will all become clear.
> 
> I'm so sorry I've been so bad about keeping up with comments. I'm doing my best to cycle through and respond to everything but it's a big job XD You people leave so much love here for me, I can hardly handle it. It makes me so happy, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
> 
> Now here's some fluff as a reward!
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek wasn't exactly sure how he'd gotten where he was when he woke up. He could vaguely remember warm arms, muffled voices giving directions, and soft blue eyes, but even those memories felt unreal. Though could you really blame him? He didn't sleep often, his body was hardly used to the sensation.

All he knew was that when he woke up, he wasn't in his own bed.

 _OH GOD, I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED!_  Mind leaping into high gear while his body decided that really, he needed more sleep, Tweek let out a soft, "Ngh-" as he tried to struggle upright. But he couldn't there was a weight across his chest and he couldn't move.  _I've been kidnapped and they tied me down and now I can't escape! What are they going to do to me? What if they never let me go?_

Feeling as though he was suffocating, Tweek wriggled around, needing fresh air.  _Oh Jesus! I'm going to die!_  He was panicking, making the whole situation worse, but he couldn't even begin to calm himself down. Not when he didn't know where he was or what he was doing there or who had put him here.  _I was with Craig at Kupa Keep! What happened?! What if they killed him!_

Finally managing to turn over, exposing his face to the cool air around him. He was about to use this opportunity to scream when his blurry vision cleared and he realized what was above him.  _Stars._ Hundreds of little, glowing plastic stick-on stars, enough that they spanned the ceiling, were gleaming above him. Any and all panic sputtering and dying in his throat, Tweek looked to his right and realized what the heavy weight on him was.

Craig's arm.

Because this was Craig's room, and Tweek was on Craig's bed, under Craig's old blue covers, with Craig sleeping next to him.

Tweek's previous panic was replaced with a very different kind of worry.  _I've never slept over at someone's house before. What if I do something wrong? What if Craig wakes up and is upset with me and makes me walk home in the dark?_ "Ggh-" Tweek twitched hard as the worries and possibilities started crowding his head. Eyes darting around the almost entirely dark room, Tweek's eyes finally found what he was looking for. The glowing, space-themed clock on Craig's desk.

It was only two in the morning.

 _JESUS, WHAT IF I WAKE HIM UP!?_  Struggling not to make any sounds, Tweek forced himself to think about something else. Anything to distract his mind from the monsters that started to creep up the walls in the stillness. It wasn't as bad as it was when he was at home, but at least there he could turn on his lights and scare them away. At least there he had his coffee. _At least here, I have Craig._

Focusing on the boy beside him, Tweek's eyes, which were slowly growing accustomed to the dark, were able to pick out his features. He'd changed before getting into bed. All of his Thief paraphernalia had been exchanged for a ratty shirt and soft fuzzy leggings. His hat, Tweek realized, hadn't left his head.  _Does it ever? Does he wear it when he showers so it can get clean? Does he have more than one?_

Shifting his own body, Tweek realized that he too was wearing something different. Considering how big the shirt felt, he could only assume it was another one of Craig's.  _Just like the shirt he let me wear at Token's house._  Tweek would probably never understand why Craig had insisted that Tweek wear his only spare shirt instead of one of Token's many shirts that were available, but he was thankful all the same. It was stupid, but wearing something of Craig's naturally made him feel less panicked, like it soaked up all of that crazy and allowed him to clear his mind.

In the glow the stars cast over the room, Tweek reflected that Craig's face looked calm. Not flat like it usually looked when he was awake, that kind of give-no-shits attitude that showed up quite vividly on his face. No, this was peace. The boy appeared lighter like this, like whatever made him so grounded and firm during the day had been lifted off his shoulders, making him into the ten-year-old boy that he really was instead of the stoic and immovable force he usually was.

This close, Tweek's eyes could trace each feature of Craig's face. His long nose, the dark raven hair escaping from under his hat, the still fading scars where the glass from the shop class window had cut him, the blond could see it all. Turning his head, Tweek's eyes followed Craig's arm. It was funny, he spent so much time with long sleeves on, Tweek almost felt like he was looking at something foreign. Maybe it was just the shadows, but Tweek could have sworn he saw scars trailing up the skin.

Letting his eyes travel back up to the ceiling, Tweek found that for once, he wasn't really twitching. Maybe his body was too tired to let him, but Tweek realized that for this moment in time, he was entirely still. In that quiet, Tweek could hear Craig breathing. He could  _feel_  the rise and fall of the boy beside him. It was so utterly calming, he couldn't imagine anything better.

The stars above him made him smile slightly as he stared at them. He'd helped Craig put up the really tiny ones just a week ago. It had been wonderful, seeing Craig get so excited about something like that. He'd shown Tweek his books of stars and arranged the various ones he had on the floor so that when he stood on the ladder he'd be able to see where he was supposed to put the new dots.

Then they'd both laid out on the floor with the lights off and Craig had pointed out all the new constellations.

Turning back to the side, Tweek suddenly let out a yelp when he found impossibly blue eyes staring at him. Snapping his mouth shut, Tweek watched as Craig blinked several times before mumbling something and rolling back slightly, shifting the arm that had been resting over Tweek to the side. Without that warm weight resting over him, Tweek found a chill running through him. His teeth knocked together as he gave a convulsive shiver.

"Cold?" Craig's voice sounded scratchy with sleep, but just as deep as Tweek knew it to be.  _Wait, he asked me a question! Oh god, what am I supposed to say? Is there a right answer? This is his room after all! IT'S TOO MUCH PRES-_  Craig rolled back over, and suddenly Tweek found his thoughts completely smothered by the other boy's presence.

Still feeling the need to say something, Tweek mumbled, "Only a little," into Craig's shirt before burrowing closer to Craig. The other boy felt like a furnace after all. Tweek didn't have to feel bad about stealing some of that warmth. Letting out a soft breath, Craig's arm went back around Tweek's shoulders and he was pulled that much closer. Tweek couldn't complain, though he wondered if Craig knew that he was treating him like a teddy bear.

After a moment more of silence, during which Tweek half-wondered if Craig had fallen asleep again, the Noirette finally chose to speak again. "You slept," he commented, as if it was a miracle. "I didn't think you did that." Considering how deep the dark circles under Tweek's eyes were, the blond couldn't blame the taller boy. Sometimes, he wondered if he slept at all too.

"I did," Tweek acknowledged, wonder in his own voice. "I –ngh- d-don't do that much."  _Ugh, I'm pointing out the obvious. I'm being annoying. Craig's too tired to deal with me being annoying. I should just stop talking._  But the longer he stayed quiet, the more stuff built up in his head. At last, he just burst out, "What happened with Token and Clyde?" He made sure to stay at a whisper, not wanting to disturb Craig's family. Ruby, according to Craig, slept in the next room over after all.

"They planned stuff out for a while. They came out alive," Craig muttered, his sentences clipped short, no doubt from exhaustion. Tweek wondered if he was keeping the boy up and almost felt bad, but Craig's arm curled around his shoulders didn't allow him to panic as much as he would have otherwise. When Craig spoke again, Tweek let some of the worry drain away. "We're attacking the Elves tomorrow."

"We are?" Tweek asked, picturing another battle like the one he'd already been in and feeling excitement stir up at the thought. Right now, Tweek couldn't think of anything better.

But Craig made a soft sound, letting worry creep into Tweek's mind once more. "Actually, I'm the only one who's going." His flat voice sounded almost guilty, and Tweek was suddenly struck with the desire to be able to see Craig's face. Struggling upwards, despite Craig's hold on him, Tweek squirmed about until he was facing Craig, their heads both sharing the same pillow. Just as he'd imagined, Craig's eyes held regret.

"Why?" he squeaked softly, struggling not to let his disappointment show on his face. He didn't want to make Craig feel any worse about it than he already did. Tweek hated making Craig upset, not just because he was worried that Craig would hate him if he made him too upset, but because the Noirette didn't deserve weight like that on his shoulders. When Craig just stared at him, Tweek let his eyes fall to the blue covers over them and asked, "D-did I do something wrong?"

"No," Craig said at once, his voice unexpectedly firm. "You didn't do something wrong." He said it with such conviction, Tweek couldn't help but believe him.  _But if I didn't do something wrong, then why don't I get to go? Don't Craig and I work better as a team?_  Like he could sense Tweek's thoughts, Craig finally sighed and said, "Someone has to stick around to protect the castle, right?"

Realizing that Craig did indeed have a point, Tweek felt marginally better.  _But there are other people to protect the castle, why can't I go with Craig!?_  Realizing that Craig wouldn't be able to do anything about it, Tweek decided not to say that out loud. Instead, he just pressed his head more firmly into Craig's pillow and muttered, "I guess I just like –ghn- fighting with you b-better."

"I like fighting with you too," Craig agreed solemnly, his eyes growing distant, even as they remained fixated on Tweek's. Another moment of silence stretched forward, but then Craig finally spoke again. "It's much better than fighting against you. I didn't like that as much."

Nodding, rumbling the pillowcase under his wild hair, Tweek twitched and agreed, "Yeah, I prefer this too." Remembering back to just a month ago when he still thought Craig wanted to kill him, Tweek found himself giggling helplessly. He wasn't even sure why the noise escaped him, the fight with Craig hadn't been funny in the slightest, but remembering how ungrounded his fears had been definitely was.

At the soft, burbling sound, Craig's lips twitched into a smile and his gaze cleared. Tweek liked that, liked that he could make Craig smile without having to make a fool of himself to do so. He wondered if Craig knew how happy it made him to see the Noirette happy, but he couldn't put the question into words, so he just grinned at Craig and counted the little flecks of light that reflected in the boy's eyes.

"How did I get here?" Tweek asked once the moment had passed. At his question, Craig's brows hiked up and he turned his head so he could stare at his ceiling. Tweek had a vague memory of staring at the sky outside with Craig, but he couldn't tell if it was a dream or not. Part of him wanted to ask, but the rest of him accepted that the question would sound needlessly stupid and he hated sounding stupid in front of Craig.

"You fell asleep waiting for Clyde and Token to get done, so when they got out, I didn't bother waking you up," Craig explained, his words fading into the dark around them. Tweek wondered if just the boy being awake scared away the monsters, or if the shadows on the wall had been his imagination. Sometimes, he couldn't tell.

Turning back to Tweek, Craig softly continued, "You woke up several times, but you went back to sleep pretty quickly."

Furrowing his brows, Tweek asked, "Did I w-walk here?" He felt like he would have remembered something like that, but all he could remember was Craig's warm, brown cloak wrapped around him. It was a comforting memory, if it hadn't been his imagination.

"No, I carried you," Craig said, entirely blasé about it, as if carrying Tweek a whole block hadn't fazed him. Tweek squeaked at that, feeling guilty. He weighed almost as much as the Noirette, carrying him couldn't have been easy. Also, he didn't like to think that Craig saw him as a baby, needing to be carried from place to place, but he had a feeling that Craig would never see him like that.

So in the end, all he said was a soft, "Oh," before going back to being silent. Reaching his fingers forward, Tweek found the edge of Craig's shirt and tangled his small fingers in the fabric, pulling himself closer to the boy once more. Craig didn't stop him, he just tightened his arm slightly and let Tweek do what he wanted.

"I'm glad you slept," Craig commented, his voice sounding more rumbly this close to his lungs. Tweek didn't respond, so Craig continued talking. "I think you need more sleep."

"There are too many monsters," Tweek admitted in hushed tones, shivering at the thoughts of the creatures hiding in his room, just beyond where the light could touch, close enough to grab him if he got too close. "They're everywhere, if I go to sleep for too long, they'll –ngh- come and eat me."

The hand that had been tucked under Craig's head pulled out so he could place it in Tweek's hair. At the sensation, Tweek could feel the trembling that had been threatening to manifest itself calm down. Drawing a shuddering breath, Tweek looked up at Craig, seeking reassurance.

Softly, the boy said, "Don't worry, I'm here. The monsters won't come h-" Whatever Craig had been about to say was cut off by a horrendous slamming sound. Letting out a yelp, Tweek started, twitching violently in fear. Before he could ask Craig what that had been, the Noirette suddenly pressed his hands against Tweek's ears, keeping them there even as Tweek tried to move them.

Craig's eyes were wide. Tweek had never seen fear in the boy's eyes and would never have accused him of being afraid of anything but at that moment, there was something approaching terror in those deep blue eyes. Even with Craig's hands covering his ears, Tweek could hear the slamming of another door and shouting coming from beneath them.

His shaking returning in full, Tweek felt fear rush through him as a smashing sound cut through the night. A cry of panic kept trying to work its way out of Tweek's throat so he covered his mouth with a hand, struggling to hold back the sounds.  _Oh god. Oh god! What's going on!? Why is Craig afraid?! WHAT IS HE AFRAID OF!? WHAT'S DOWN THERE?_   _I THOUGHT HE SAID THE MONSTERS WOULDN'T HURT ME!_ There was another bout of shouting, then a scream of pain and anger. Sounds escaping the hand clapped over his mouth, Tweek shook harder and stared into Craig's eyes, unable to look away.

Whatever Craig was trying to keep him from hearing was making the boy's face contort into a look of fear. His lips were parted and with every crash and shout, he flinched, the motion traveling through his arms and into Tweek, getting lost to the blonde's trembling.  _If it scares Craig, it must be something horrible! Don't Craig's parents hear it? Aren't they going to do something about the monsters in their house?!_ There were what sounded like screamed words echoing throughout the house, but with Craig's hands over his ears, Tweek couldn't understand them.

As the fear choked him, Tweek struggled to breathe but found he couldn't quite manage. He could feel Craig's heartbeat hammering, just through the boy's palms alone. Or maybe he was hearing it. Maybe Craig's heart was trying to drown out the sounds of the monsters underneath them. Images of fearsome beasts filled Tweek's mind, but he didn't dare ask Craig what they were, too scared of being heard by the creatures below them.

Whimpers escaped his nose, Tweek couldn't stop them. The sounds drew Craig's eyes away from the darkness and towards him. Desperately, he shook his head, his eyes begging Tweek to keep quiet. Like this, huddling and terrified, Craig didn't look like a giant, he looked unbearably small. It terrified Tweek, because he couldn't even hear what was going on, he just knew that it was bad. He just knew that if he made a sound, the monsters would find them.

Forcing himself to keep quiet, Tweek found tears leaking from his eyes, dripping down his face and dampening the hand Craig had over the ear Tweek had been pressing to the pillow. They felt damp and hot, horribly scratchy and disgusting, but Tweek couldn't stop them. He was too afraid to do any such thing.

He thought he could feel the floor shaking.

Suddenly, Craig's eyes got, if possible, even wider. Pulling Tweek as close as possible, Craig pressed the blonde's damp face against his shirt. For a moment, one of Craig's hands pulled off of Tweek's ears and the boy could hear thudding footsteps coming up the stairs. Yanking the covers over Tweek's head, Craig whispered, "Shhh," in Tweek's ear before covering it again with his hand. Held close like he was, Tweek could feel Craig trembling.

All at once, there was a flare of light that came through the small gaps in the covers. Tweek could only stare at them as Craig pressed the hands over Tweek's ears more firmly together, like he was trying to crack Tweek's head in half. There were muffled roars, and Tweek hid the sob that worked its way from him in Craig's shirt.

Then the door slammed closed, plunging the room back into darkness. There was a moment's more thumping and crashing, but finally, the whole house fell silent. Tweek didn't dare budge, he just cried silently into Craig's shirt and twitched and shook until he managed to get his breathing under control.

After a while of lying there in fearful silence, Tweek realized that Craig had simply frozen. Though he was still terrified that the monsters would come back, Tweek squirmed upwards and stared at Craig. The boy's eyes were fixed at a point above Tweek's head and his mouth was hanging open, a horrified expression on his face. Panicking, Tweek wondered if the monsters had frozen Craig, turning him into a statue.

Whimpering softly, Tweek let go of Craig's shirt so he could wrap his arms the boy in a hug.  _Please be okay, please don't look like that._  Because Craig had protected Tweek from the monsters instead of protecting himself and Tweek couldn't handle the idea that the boy would never speak again.

As if brought back to life, Craig suddenly twitched under him and wrapped his own arms around Tweek, finally allowing the blond to calm down.

"Wh-what was that?" Tweek whimpered softly, trying to stop crying, trying to be brave when Craig so clearly needed him to be. It was hard, he wasn't used to being brave, not when he had so many of his own monsters to fend off. Something like this, something that could scare even Craig, was too scary for someone like him to handle. But he needed to be strong, just in case the monsters came back. For now, though, he just wanted to know what he was facing.

"Nothing, nothing at all," Craig lied, his voice cracking as he spoke. Tweek wished he could see Craig's face, but at the same time, he was glad he couldn't. He didn't want to know, in the end, he just wanted Craig to be okay. He never wanted to see the Noirette that afraid again.

"It was a monster!" Tweek insisted, shivering and clinging to Craig tighter.

Very softly, in a trembling voice, Craig whispered, "It's okay; the monsters won't hurt you while I'm here." Tweek wished he hadn't realized the difference between what Craig had just said and what he'd said before.  _He said they won't hurt me,_  Tweek thought, shivering as he struggled to keep his breathing even.  _But he never said they won't come._

That would mark the first time that Tweek ever came close to seeing Craig's demons.

But even at that moment, lying in the dark, Tweek knew it wouldn't be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> Okay, I lied. That was angst.
> 
> I'm sorry.
> 
> (No I'm not.)
> 
> ((Actually, I sort of am...))


	29. Keep Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, y'all survived
> 
> 100,000 words, yay!! 
> 
> But seriously, I'm sorry about that last chapter. I needed to hit you with it so I could introduce the conflict and use it later. That being said, It was still painful. I promise I won't make you put up with that very often, angst is best when interspersed throughout a story to make it feel like real life.
> 
> Can you believe it, this story hasn't been out a month and it's already at 100,000. Someone tell me that isn't impressive. This is crazy, admit it. You people are wonderful, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without you.
> 
> Enjoy.

If Craig had expected them to get sleep after what had happened, he was wrong.

_I shouldn't have brought him here,_  he thought fiercely, feeling sick to his stomach.  _I should have taken him to Token's house or his own house. Why did I have to be so stubborn about bringing him over? Why did I want him over in the first place? Hell, I could have taken him to Clyde's house, his house is just down the street from Cartman's house._  But no, he'd brought him here and paid the price in full.

At least Tweek wasn't crying anymore. Craig wasn't sure if he could handle that anymore, not tonight, not ever. He hated the sight of those sparkling eyes filling with tears, no matter how justified they'd been. It was his fault, after all, that Tweek had been crying, his fault for bringing the blond to his house when he knew what could happen.

Monsters? Heh, he wished. No, the reality was always so much more terrifying.

But how was he to have known that tonight would just happen to be one of those nights his father returned from the bar and some ungodly hour, drunk and pissed and mean? How was he supposed to know that his mother would get into a fight with him instead of just letting him work off his own frustrations? How was he supposed to know that tonight wouldn't be one of those blessedly peaceful nights were his family could almost pass off as normal?

So now Tweek still had his arms wrapped around Craig's chest and the boy kept shivering and trembling, even though there was no way he was cold. Craig knew what it was though, knew why he was scared and agreed with him wholeheartedly.

Usually, when something like that happened, Craig didn't get so scared. Maybe inside he was terrified, but he was better than someone his age should be at shoving all that fear and worry down into the back of his brain and putting on a bored face. He wasn't supposed to care anymore, this had been his entire life, but with Tweek there, Craig had been deathly afraid. Because he didn't know what would happen if his parents found Tweek and he didn't want the boy to know what really went on inside his house.

When they fought, generally Craig would just close his eyes and pretend he was asleep, pretend he couldn't hear them. After every fight, they would always come into his room, as if to make sure he was asleep and to yell at him if he wasn't. To scream that it wasn't any of his business what they were fighting about and sometimes worse, but Craig found that he could avoid the whole thing if he just hid under the covers and pretended to be asleep.

Sure, they'd come and yank the covers back before leaving, but at least they wouldn't scream at him.

But with Tweek there, he'd forced himself to bear the full brunt of it, just so they wouldn't find out that the fragile blond was there too. His mom had been livid that he was awake, but when was she not upset with him. He'd seen the bruise on her chest, probably from his dad, but he'd know that it didn't much matter because she'd likely given as good as she'd got. And even though he'd frozen up in terror, he'd kept Tweek safe, so it was all okay.

And if Tweek went the rest of his life thinking that there were monsters in Craig's house, then that was fine. As long as he didn't know the truth, everything would be okay. Because he knew what would happen if his parents found out he'd told someone and he'd rather avoid  _that_  at all costs.

At least they hadn't hit him tonight.

But he was still left with the problem that it was four in the morning and Tweek was still wide awake, as was he.  _I need to get out of here, if they find Tweek in the morning, it'll be just as bad as if they'd found him last night, probably worse._  Moving, shifting his body so Tweek would know he was still awake, Craig softly said, "We should probably leave."

Tweek started and let out a squeak that was muffled by Craig's tee-shirt. Popping up from under the covers, the boy twitched and asked, "W-why? Oh Jesus, are the monsters gonna come back!?" It was clear that while he had relaxed a little bit, he was far from calm. Craig didn't blame him. He wished he could have spared Tweek that whole ordeal, but at least the boy didn't know the truth.

"They might," he admitted, going with the lie because the lie was so much easier than the truth. Shifting upright, pulling Tweek with him, Craig looked over the boy, at the mess that he'd become. His eyes were still swollen, those dark circles under his eyes doing nothing to make it better. There was so much fear still in that gaze, it made Craig's chest swell with guilt.  _Why is this my life?_  Because life wasn't fair, it never had been and it never would be. "So we should leave before they do."

"Augh!" the blond boy yelped. Tweek's eyes kept darting to the walls and the door, as though he expected the monsters he'd imagined up to pop up at any second. "W-we should get your parents!" Tweek insisted, grabbing Craig's hand and shaking his arm about. "So they know that the monsters are-"

_Shit._  Lunging forward, Craig seized Tweek by the shoulders and hissed with as much vehemence as he could manage, "You can't tell anyone about the monsters!" Tweek's eyes widened in fear and Craig felt something in him wither and die.  _You're wrong Token, I can scare him._  But he supposed it didn't matter because if he scared Tweek into listening to him just this once then it would all be fine.

"Why not?" Tweek asked pathetically, twitching in Craig's grip. His teeth kept knocking together and there were tears welling up in his eyes once again. Feeling horrible for even thinking for a moment that scaring the boy was a good thing, Craig sighed and pulled Tweek forward until they're foreheads bumped together.

"Because if you tell my parents, the monsters will kill me. They would be upset that someone else might have seen them." Tweek let out a soft sound of fear, so Craig moved one of his hands to the boy's hair, struggling to calm him down to the best of his ability. Under his hand, Tweek's breathing started to steady. Trying to think of anything else he needed to make clear about the situation, Craig quickly added, "And we can't talk about them, otherwise they'll come for me."

"What?!" Gripping his hair with his hands, Tweek pulled hard, no doubt trying to release some of the pressure building up in his head. Craig wished he could stop the boy, but he was already doing everything he knew to calm him down and the subject matter wasn't exactly going to get better. "Jesus, you haven't told anyone? W-what about –ghn- T-Token or Clyde?"

Keeping his eyes fixed on Tweek's as steady as he could keep them, Craig admitted, "Clyde knows about the monsters, but Token doesn't. He just thinks he does." When Tweek's eyes widened and he started to speak, Craig hurried to repeat, "But you can't talk about them Tweek, you have to keep quiet."

"Wh-what if they know I was here?" Tweek asked in a hushed voice, sounding fearful. Craig didn't blame him. He wished he had a perfect solution to the problem, he wished he had a solution period, but he didn't, so he just tried his best to sound reassuring.

"I'll handle them," He told Tweek, setting his jaw and staring at the boy as calmly as he usually did. "I won't let them hurt you."  _I mean it, fuck, I mean it. I won't let them take Tweek away from me._

Maybe Tweek could read his mind, maybe it was something else, but almost at once, Tweek demanded, "What about you?" as if this was more important than his own safety. He stuck his bottom lip out and clenched his jaw together, probably in an attempt to look brave. It might have worked if he could stop twitching.  _He's trying to be tough for me, isn't he?_

Dragging his fingers through Tweek's hair, in as much an attempt to calm himself down as to calm the blond, Craig cleared his throat softly to get past the lump that had formed there and said, "I'll live." He wasn't sure if he sounded confident, but Tweek's shoulders relaxed slightly, so Craig assumed he'd done a good enough job on the whole thing.

He was about to move back so he could start getting dressed when Tweek spoke again, true bravery shining through the attempted mask he'd put on. "If they hurt you," he said, his tone tentative, even as he moved his hands out of his hair and clenched them in his lap. "Then come over!" As Craig straightened, Tweek leaned forward and insistently said, "You can hide with me on my bed and all of my monsters will scare them away. I've got way more than you do."

Something in Craig's chest broke at those words. For a long moment, he just sat there in silence, unsure how he was supposed to even begin to answer what Tweek had just said, but finally, he forced his throat to work. "Okay," he promised, his tone flat even as something inside him clenched painfully. "If they hurt me, I'll come to you."

Nodding, Tweek took a shuddering breath and said, "Where are we –ngh- gonna go then?" Taking a moment to register what Tweek had asked, Craig finally shook himself from his daze by blinking once before sliding off of his bed and softly getting to his feet.  _We could go to Token's house, but that's a long way for walking somewhere in the middle of the night._ He knew that the black boy wouldn't mind, but he wasn't sure if that was the best idea, considering, so he settled on the only other option.

"Clyde's house," Craig answered firmly, remembering that they were going to be fighting the elves tomorrow and grabbing his Thief costume.  _Might as well change into it now, the chances I'm getting sleep_ anywhere _is next to none._  Grabbing his backpack, Craig shoved Tweek's costume, pan and all, into the bag before stuffing in a change of clothes for himself and zipping it closed.

"W-why not my house?" Tweek asked nervously, stumbling over the words. Looking over at the twitching boy, Craig considered the option. Shifting on the bed, the blond continued, "I mean, i-it's closer and –grr- I-I know where the spare key is and I just thought that maybe if you wanted to we could- could-"

"We'll go to your house," Craig agreed, cutting off Tweek's nervous ramblings. Looking relieved, Tweek nodded quickly, his wild hair fanning out around his face at the motion. Deciding that the matter was over, Craig quickly turned and stripped out of his PJs and dressed up in his Thief paraphernalia. Securing his knives on his belt and checking to make sure the butter knife he'd originally fought Tweek with was still safe, Craig tied his cloak on and looked over at Tweek, who still hadn't moved.

"Do you want to change?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Tweek opened his mouth before snapping it shut and shaking his head. Grabbing Tweek's boots, Craig handed them to the blond before shouldering his backpack, allowing his cloak to cover it. When Tweek kept looking at him, Craig realized how stupid he was being.  _He's going to freeze in that, what am I thinking?_

Grabbing the blue coat he wore everywhere, Craig walked over to Tweek and wrapped the thing around the boy, helping him into it. Looking up at Craig with a twitch, Tweek asked softly, almost as if he wasn't sure if he should, "How long have the monsters been here Craig?"

Drawing in a sharp breath, Craig managed to push out, in an even tone, "Ever since I was born."

Nodding, Tweek watched as Craig went ahead and helped put the boy's shoes on as well. Quietly, Tweek admitted, "That's okay, my monsters have been around since I was born too." Looking up at the boy, Craig was struck by the fact that of all the people he'd met, of all the people who knew or suspected his parents weren't as normal as they pretended to be, Tweek was the first who had ever looked at him without pity in his eyes. There was only a deep solidarity there because the blond lived with monsters just like he did.

They might not have had the same shape, but they were monsters just the same.

The moment his shoes were on, Tweek got to his feet and looked around the room. "How are we going t-to leave?" he asked, looking towards the door apprehensively. Craig didn't blame him in the slightest; he didn't want to leave through the downstairs either. The chances that his father was down there were high, and he didn't want to get caught in his lie, so he walked over to his usual means of escape.

Throwing open the window, shivering slightly in the breeze that blew through, Craig said, "You can climb down through here." The drainpipe plus the convenient hooks that had been stuck into the siding for one reason or another made it the perfect escape route. Glancing back towards Tweek, Craig accepted that this was going to be a bit harder than he'd originally assumed.

"N-no way man!" Tweek squeaked softly, shaking his head. "Oh God, I'll fall and crack my skull open and the mutant rats will eat me andIdon'twanttodieJESUS!" Putting out his hands insistently, needing Tweek to stay quiet, Craig took the several steps back to the blond and pulled him over to the window gently.

"It's fine, I'll go down first," Craig told him evenly, fixing the boy with a calm expression. Now that they were leaving, he found that he was able to calm down again. As soon as they were out of the house, his parents couldn't touch either of them. Watching him nervously, Tweek swallowed hard and looked out the window.

"It's so far down!" Tweek moaned, pulling on his hair as he looked between the ground and Craig's unchanged face.

"I'll catch you if you fall," Craig said, even though he knew there was a greater chance of Tweek flattening than of him actually catching the boy. But he didn't let those thought show on his face, and Tweek gradually seemed to calm down.

"Okay," he finally agreed, even though he shivered as he said it. Confident that Tweek was going to make it, Craig swung himself out of his window, making sure to get his feet secure on the drainpipe before moving his hands. Slowly, aware that Tweek was watching what he was doing so he copy him, Craig made his way to the ground. The moment his feet hit the ground, Tweek leaned his head out and hissed, "Jesus man, you make it look so easy!"

"It is," Craig reassured the boy, beckoning him down. "Come on, you'll be fine. I told you I'd teach you to climb, right?"

"Ngh- y-yeah," Tweek mumbled. Without any further arguments, the boy clambered out of the window, nowhere near as gracefully as Craig, but not that badly for his first time. "Oh god, I'm gonna fall!" he squeaked, clinging to the sill in terror.

"You need to close the window before you come down," Craig told him calmly, moving closer just in case the boy fell after all. Reaching up, Tweek managed to yank the window down without falling. "Okay, now just come down." Slowly, Tweek inched his way down the drainpipe, taking much longer than Craig had, but also not falling. He looked almost funny, drowning in Craig's jacket and baggy sleep pants, scrambling down the side of a building like an overgrown blond spider.

The moment his feet touched the ground, Tweek sagged against the wall and caught his breath, which was coming in short pants as if he'd just run a marathon. Easily wrapping his arm around the blonde's shoulders, Craig pulled the boy away from the side of his house and into the backyard. Tweek just tangled his fingers in Craig's cloak and asked, "Did I do alright?"

"You did great," Craig said sincerely, his voice firm. Satisfied with this, Tweek relaxed against Craig and allowed himself to be led through the break in Craig's fence and into the median between Craig's side of the block and Tweek's side of the block. Looking for the dark house that was set in front of the darkness of the morning, which was harder to do than he'd originally thought it was going to be, Craig just started forward.

As he walked, Tweek by his side, Craig wondered if this was going to be the rest of his life, hiding and running from his problems. It was easier and much less painful. When he got older, Craig assumed that he'd be able to stand up for himself and his parents would be easier to deal with, but he wasn't sure. What happened when you got older? Did things get better, or did they just get worse?

_Well, as long as I have Tweek around, things can't get that bad._

Suddenly pulling Craig over, Tweek started towards the only house that had lights on inside it. Squinting at it, Craig supposed that it was dark brown, even though all the houses kind of looked the same in this light. Thankfully, Tweek knew his own home better, so Craig was confident they were going the right way.

Following Tweek through the fence, Craig let go of the boy's shoulder so he could hurry ahead. Pulling up a garden statuette that was in the shape of a coffee cup, Tweek produced a key and said, "Come on, l-let's get inside." Lengthening his strides to his normal pace instead of the slower one he adopted when walking with Tweek, Craig easily caught up and waited behind the boy as he unlocked the back door of his house.

The first thing that he was aware of was the ever-present smell of coffee as he stepped inside after Tweek. The second thing was the sounds of eating coming from the other room. Freezing, Craig looked to the dining room, expecting, presumably, Tweek's parents to come and see what the noise was, but no such thing happened. Quickly, Craig glanced at Tweek, hoping for some explanation, but the boy wasn't even paying attention. Reaching for the silver thermos that was by the sink, Tweek walked over to the coffee machine and poured himself a cup, sweetening it to his tastes.

When he turned back around, Craig noticed the dullness of the boy's eyes but didn't question him. "Come on, let's go upstairs," Tweek insisted, twitching slightly as he spoke. Taking a sip of his coffee, the boy led Craig through the dining room. Tweek's parents were at the table, already dressed and entirely chipper looking.

Craig didn't quite know what to make of Tweek's parents. There was something off about them though, he was sure of it. It showed when Richard Tweak looked up and smiled pleasantly as if it wasn't four in the morning and Tweek hadn't just shown up out of the blue with Craig in tow. "Hello son," he said brightly, smiling absently. "How was your day at school?"

Ignoring the way that Craig's mouth fell open in dumbfounded shock, Tweek easily said, "Ngh- It was f-fine, Dad."  _What the heck, do they even know what time of day it is?_

"That's great, son," the man said, before taking another bite of eggs. Craig looked between Tweek and the boy's dad, unable to believe his eyes.  _What am I witnessing?_

"Ooh, Craig, how is your mother?" Tweek's mom asked, her eyes twinkling as she stared at the two boys, almost like she was a doll and not a human. Realizing that he'd been spoken too and that he should probably answer, Craig said the first thing that came to his mind.

"She's great." The woman didn't seem to care that Craig didn't sound at all convinced of his own words, she just smiled more widely and hummed under her breath. Glancing at Tweek, Craig tried to ask the boy with his eyes if they could leave, but Tweek wasn't looking at him.

"It's so wonderful that you two are getting along," Tweek's dad said, taking a sip of his coffee and smiling at the two of them. "I'm glad you're making friends son, you're in second grade, after all, that's when I made my first friend." Craig's eyes got, if possible, even wider.  _Is this what Tweek's parents are always like?_

"Don't you have to open the coffee shop in an hour?" Tweek asked, his dulled eyes shifting from his mom to his dad to the table, to the wall. His fingers were clenched around his thermos to the point of his knuckles going white, but Craig wasn't sure if now was the time to try and calm the blond down.

Smiling serenely at the question, Richard Tweek said, "Ah yes. We must open bright and early every day. Bright, like the glow of the sunrise over the mountains. Bright, like the light reflecting off of the surface of a perfect cup of coffee. Bright, like-"

"ACK! I g-get it!" Tweek burst out, trembling. "I'm going up to my room."

"Okay sweetie, make sure to eat something," Tweek's mother called. Ignoring her, Tweek grabbed Craig's sleeve and pulled him up the stairs after him, his eyes fixed straight ahead all the while. Attempting to figure out what he'd just witnessed, Craig kept glancing behind him as if that was going to make things any more normal.

_What is wrong with them?_ "Hey… Tweek-" Craig started uncertainly, unsure how to even begin to broach the subject. How were you supposed to ask your friend if their parents were bat-shit insane, after all? It wasn't a particularly easy thing to do. Nevertheless, the Noirette attempted, "Are your parents…"

Looking up at the boy, Tweek said softly, "Don't worry about it, they're –ghn- fine. They're always like this." With that, he opened his bedroom door and walked inside, leaving Craig standing in the hallway.

Shaking his head, Craig walked after the boy. After all, who was he to judge people on their parents?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't these boys just a mess??
> 
> I'm serious this time when I say I'll answer your comments. I'm trying to get through as many as possible, especially the ones from the last chapter, but I have quite the backlog. Just know that I'm loving all of your wonderful words and any that you're willing to give me are welcome in my book. 
> 
> You're all beautiful!~


	30. Bled Dry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***appears in a flash of light* Wowow, still here?? I'm pleasantly surprised.**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **If you've been here this long, that must mean you either enjoy it, or hate it and are just too salty that I've kept you around this long to put it down. Either way, I applaud you.**
> 
>  
> 
> **But as you already know, I am here to ply to you the official discord for this[piece-of-trash fanfiction](https://discord.gg/eramcuT). You should totally join and say something. I'm not saying you need to, but it sure would be swell if you did~**
> 
>  
> 
>  **Now I'm off again~ AUTHOR OUT!**  
>  Original A/N: Omg, I think I died and went to heaven. TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE JUST DID FAN ART FOR ME AND I'M DYING BECAUSE IT'S ALL SO BEAUTIFUL!!!
> 
> SocksGhost did a wonderful piece of Craig patting Tweek's head to calm him down and I think I started crying because it's exactly as I imagined it and it's so adorable. https://twitter.com/tinysmallghost/status/940838385089961985 <\-- You can find it here! You really should check it out!!
> 
> The other one was done by Tweekaddict on Tumblr and it's all from the chapter of Token's perspective! It's honestly so cute, I will never be able to get over this picture of Tweek in Craig's Red Racer tee-shirt. These boys are so pure and this human is an angel for drawing them!! You can find it here --> https://tweekaddict.tumblr.com/post/168394579099/this-fanfiction-is-my-religion-i-recommend-you
> 
> Ugh, honestly you people, I'm just a fetus, I don't deserve so much wonderfulness. I love all of you so much you have no idea.
> 
> Enjoy.

 

_HOW DID HE DO IT SO NEATLY! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!_

Dragging his trembling fingers over the faded pattern of stripes on his face, Tweek let out a soft, "Aghu~" as his fingers once again went outside of the lines. He hadn't even tried to use the coffee mix he'd made with some of the grounds that his parents had left in the basement, he was just trying to steady his hands enough to do it at all.  _Craig's much better at this than me…_

Turning his head, Tweek looked over at said boy. Even after being wide awake, thanks to the monster incident and then running over to Tweek's house, Craig had managed to fall asleep on Tweek's bed, sitting upright with his back wedged against Tweek's headboard. It couldn't be comfortable, but like he was, still dressed up in his costume, Tweek thought that Craig looked a little like a rag doll, like if he touched the boy, he'd find fabric and stuffing instead of skin.

At the thought of the monsters, Tweek shivered and his eyes darted about his room. To the closet, to under his bed, to his underwear drawer. He knew the monsters were still there, but with Craig in the room, they were kept at bay. Remembering the roars he'd heard in Craig's house, Tweek twitched hard and bit his lip.

Craig had told him not to talk about it.  _Why is he hiding?!_  Well, obviously because the monsters would kill him if he told someone.  _That's so much pressure! How is he still alive? Is that why he's so scary sometimes? Because he's dealt with real monsters so all the monsters at our school look like nothing?_  Wrapping his arms around himself, Tweek squeezed his eyes shut tight. He hated this, but he wasn't sure what to do but listen to Craig.  _At least Clyde knows. That's what he said, right?_

Pushing those thoughts away, keeping them from overwhelming his mind, Tweek turned back to the mirror and looked at Craig's clothes hanging off of him.  _Ugh, it's six in the morning, I should change._ The tee-shirt he was wearing had a guinea pig on it, one that was dressed up in a pirate costume. Tweek didn't get the joke, but he supposed that it would be something Craig would wear.

Picking at the fuzzy pants he was wearing, ones that pooled over his feet and had planets all over them, Tweek smiling slightly, the expression attempting to pull his lips upward to limited success. He wished he could push the last few hours out of his mind entirely, but he couldn't. Maybe it was worse because he couldn't even ask Craig about it.  _And now he's seen how crazy my family is. He probably thinks I'm just like them. I'm such a screw-up, I wish he hadn't seen that._

But he had, and now Tweek supposed that both Craig and he had revealed all the horrible things that hid in their closets. Craig had his monsters and was able to feel fear, Tweek had his parents and his own monsters. Was that a good thing that they'd let all of the horrible stuff out? Was it a bad thing? Tweek didn't know.

Needing to distract himself, Tweek struggled out of the clothing Craig had lent him and opened the bag that Craig had brought over. Finding his costume stuffed into the bottom, Tweek struggled into the pants and made a fool of himself trying to get the shoulder belt secured properly. No matter how much noise he made, Craig kept sleeping, no doubt exhausted from everything that had happened.

Once he'd managed to get dressed, Tweek stood in front of his mirror and spread his arms wide. The fading stripes of coffee-stained skin stood out against the rest of his pasty flesh and the club hanging on his belt weighed his entire costume down, but he still looked cool.  _Like a real barbarian._  Unhooking his club, Tweek raised it above his head and growled at the mirror.  _I could be scary, just like Craig._

Reattaching the club to his belt, Tweek stumbled over to the dresser and grabbed the cup of coffee stain. Carefully walking back to the mirror, Tweek knelt before it and tried to still his hands enough to paint his skin.  _I keep shaking! Maybe I should wake up and ask Craig to do it? But I've got to work on being more independent!_

"Y-you're better at this," Tweek said, belatedly realizing that he was talking to a sleeping boy and an empty room. Swiveling his head quickly to make sure he hadn't woken Craig up, Tweek twitched hard and let out a soft, involuntary noise. Craig just kept sleeping, his chest rising and falling slowly, the only sign that he wasn't just a mannequin that someone had put on Tweek's bed.

"I don't have steady hands," Tweek continued softly, tentatively, as if he expected the sleeping boy to yell at him for talking to him while he was asleep. When Craig didn't even twitch, Tweek said, "I twitch and spill things, I c-can't draw on myself."

Turning back to the mirror, Tweek dipped his fingers in the stain again and very slowly dragged his fingers over his hip and up his stomach. "You're really steady all the time Craig," he commented, unsure why he was still talking but not about to stop. "Even when scary people –ngh- get upset with you, you just flip them off."

 _I wish I wasn't so pathetic, I wish I could be strong, like Craig._  "I'm sorry I'm not as strong as you." Finishing the stripe he was working on, Tweek was absently surprised to find that it had turned out alright. Moving on to the stripe just below his elbow, Tweek muttered, "I'm trying, b-but I'm not very good at it."

It was weird, it felt good to say those things to Craig, like he was finally able to get his concerns off of his chest. While he spoke, his hands didn't shake as much and he was able to get his lines almost as straight as Craig's. Dipping his fingers back in the coffee, Tweek stared at his own reflection in the mirror and said, "If I was strong, then you wouldn't have had to protect me from your monsters like that."

The moment he mentioned them, Tweek snapped his mouth shut, remembering what Craig had said about talking about the monsters. But Craig was asleep right now and he wouldn't hear it, so Tweek figured he might as well. Besides, he had to familiarize his own monsters with Craig's demons, just in case they came after him. Then they'd know to keep them away. So as he dragged his fingers over his bicep, Tweek started talking again.

"Your monsters are really scary Craig, I w-wish you could tell someone about them." More coffee, more skin re-stained. "But I guess you don't want to die, so you don't tell your parents. I wish you could tell them anyway." Tweek had only met Craig's mom before, so he really didn't know much about his parents, but she'd seemed okay.  _She seemed normal, unlike my mom._  But she'd also seemed stiff, like she held her head high because she thought that everyone else would judge her if she didn't.

"But maybe your parents would be like mine and wouldn't believe your monsters are real, so it's better n-not to –ghn- t-tell them," Tweek said in a rush, closing his eyes as he remembered his own disastrous attempts to explain to his parents that there were things out to kill him. "Th-they never listen, Craig, which doesn't make sense, b-because they all have monsters too." He knew it was true, he'd seen the way his mother did certain things like if she didn't, something horrible would happen. He'd seen the way his father refused to walk into a room if the lights weren't on. Everyone had monsters.

Tipping his head back so he could draw over the stripes on his neck, Tweek continued, "I guess they think that they're grown up, s-so they're not allowed to have monsters anymore." Turning around to Craig, Tweek twitched slightly and said, "I don't think anyone around here is grown up, they're all just better at pretending than we are." Shivering, he jerked his head back around to the mirror and once again tried to draw across his face.

He couldn't talk while he did this, but he kept thinking, his mind running a million miles a minute.  _You don't understand the depths of the crazy that exists in this house, but that's okay because I don't understand what goes on inside your house. I don't know what makes the walls feel like they're screaming and I don't know why your parents don't wake up when the monsters start throwing things around. But you will never understand why my dad can't remember how old I am and why my mom forgets to be human sometimes._

Tweek was pretty sure that everyone had problems like that, but they also had closets to hide things in. Tweek's closet was already full of monsters, so he couldn't put anything else in there. And maybe that was why Craig's monsters were so loud, because he kept Stripe in the closet and he didn't want to freak out his guinea pig with those demons that haunted him. Finishing the stripes along either side of his jaw, Tweek sat back and looked himself over. "You're still better and drawing than I am," he informed the sleeping boy behind him. "Even if you do have monsters."

Turning his head, Tweek very carefully re-did the stripe across his face. Now that he'd let out all of his worries and thoughts, his fingers were almost steady. He could still feel pressure building up in his head, but at least he could finish his war paint. Closing his eyes, Tweek finished it off by dabbing his eyelids with the stain then leaving them closed. He didn't like sitting here like this, vulnerable while he let his stain dry, but he supposed that Craig was still on the bed so the boy would wake up if anything came out to attack Tweek.

Suddenly, there was a squeaking sound and Tweek's eyes flew open as he tumbled backward, trying to see what was going on. "ACK!" Slapping a hand over his mouth to stifle the cry of surprise, Tweek twitched hard and turned to find Kenny sitting on his window ledge, smoothing out his princess skirts as he did so.

"Tweekers! Already dressed up for battle! My my, just look at you~" Grinning from ear to ear, Kenny slipped off the window ledge and leaned over Craig, a mischievous look on his face. "Aww, Tucker's all  _tuckered_  out. Must've been hard, carrying you all the way here." Picking at Craig's cloak, much to Tweek's distress, Kenny muttered, "Didn't even have time to change before he conked out, poor lad."

Scrambling backward over his lego-strewn floor, Tweek squawked, "H-How did you know we were here?!"  _Oh God, why does he always do this?! Can't he ever stop, just once?!_

With a laugh, Kenny grabbed the footboard of Tweek's bed and swung himself around, hanging off of the thing after doing so. The hair of his wing trailed out beneath him, like a sparkling wave. "I had it on good authority where you'd be. I checked out little Thief's house first but, alas, no luck. Thankfully, I came here next and voila~ Both of you at once!" Giggling girlishly, Kenny said, "Didn't get any more sleep after stargazing with Craig, right?"

 _So that wasn't a dream after all._  Trying to get his heart rate to go back to normal after it had confusingly jumped up, Tweek insisted, "I s-slept!" Struggling to his feet, Tweek leaned against the wall as his vision blurred before stumbling forward. "W-why are you here?"

Twirling the fingers of his free hand, Kenny spun off of the footboard of Tweek's bed and exclaimed, "Why, I've come to get you and Feldspar here! The Grand Wizard requires your presence immediately~" Twirling a piece of his hair between thumb and forefinger, Kenny added, "We are attacking the Elves after all. I'm sure you know that Craig is leading the charge."

Nodding nervously, Tweek gnawed on his bottom lip and shuffled his feet before muttering, "I heard I'm n-not part of the assault." He hated how he sounded like a winy child saying that, but he couldn't help it. Even though he'd told Craig he was fine with it, Tweek didn't like that the boy was going off on his own, he felt like he should be there too, even though he was technically the weaker of the two.

Floating over to him, Kenny tutted softly. "Oh Tweeky, come now, do you really think you and Feldspar are going to be sent on every mission together? Don't be ridiculous." Circling the boy, Kenny hummed under his breath and picked at the belt slung over Tweek's shoulder. "You look so unarmed like this, you need a bow, something barbarian-esque. Wouldn't you agree, Tweek?"

Stumbling away from the Princess, Tweek twitched to the right and insisted, "B-But you're a princess! Can't you convince the Grand Wizard to let me go too! I can help and –ngh- be useful and stuff!" When Kenny only gave him a pitying look, Tweek let out an, "Augh! Y-You're useless!" Clenching his fists, Tweek glared at the floor, wishing he could think of something to say that would change Kenny's mind, but he came up with nothing.

Thankfully, he didn't have to come up with anything, because it was at that moment that Craig's low, irritable voice bit out, "What are you doing here, McCormick?" Turning, Tweek found Craig getting up out of his bed, already wide awake and glaring at Kenny. He looked frightening, not that Kenny seemed to care. All the Princess did was giggle brightly.

"Look who has awakened," Kenny commented, breezing past Craig so he could throw an arm over Tweek's shoulder. The shorter blond instantly squawked and struggled to escape, but Kenny's arm around his neck was like a vice. "Tweekers and I were just talking about the fact that the Grand Wizard has summoned you for battle!"

Glancing at Tweek's clock, which was shaped like a mug of coffee, Craig rubbed his face with a hand and groaned softly. "It's seven," he muttered, his face smoothing out into his usual flat expression. "Are we really attacking this early?" Looking over Kenny, who was still leaning on Tweek, and then to Tweek himself, Craig raised an eyebrow.

"Well, far be it from me, a mere Princess, to question what the will of the Wizard is," Kenny commented, catching the expression on Craig's face and decidedly letting Tweek escape. The moment he was able to get away, Tweek hurried over to near where Craig was standing and grabbed his boots. "I would get going. In fact, since you're both ready, I'll escort you there."

Turning to look at Kenny once his boots were on, Tweek squeaked, "Did they really p-plan this out last night?" The moment he tried to get up, he found Craig's hand there, offering him help. Taking the assistance, Tweek let the taller boy help him to his feet.

Shrugging, Kenny picked at his skirts as if there was something wrong with them before sighing. "Well, this is plan A. There is a plan B that Token created with my help, but I think Cartman hopes that plan A will suffice." Looking between Craig and Tweek, Kenny clapped his hands together. "Now, let's get going! We don't want to be late~"

Slipping into his own shoes, Craig caught Tweek's hand and pulled him along, his face calm as always. Tripping on a few of the legos scattered about his own floor, Tweek hurried to keep up with the other boys as they left his room and started down his hallway. Glancing down at him, Craig was silent for a moment before asking, "Do you want to grab some coffee first?"

Widening his eyes at the idea of being allowed to bring coffee with him, Tweek nodded his head and squeaked, "Hang on!" Letting go of Craig's hand, the boy darted back into his room and grabbed his silver thermos off of his table. It was empty at the moment, but he could remedy that pretty quickly. Dashing back out into the hallway, Tweek screeched, "I'LL BE READY IN A MOMENT!" before almost falling down the stairs in his haste to get to the kitchen.

As he set the pot of coffee up and waited for it to brew, Tweek listened to the bits of conversation Craig and Kenny were having drift in from the living room. "Come on Craig, do you think Cartman cares what you think? If you do, you're sorely mistaken."

"He could at least try not to make such horrible decisions," Craig said, his voice flat and calm. Tweek wondered why what bad decision they were talking about, but the coffee pot dinged, bringing him back to the present abruptly. Fumbling with the pot, Tweek emptied the whole thing into his thermos before dragging out the cream and sugar.

"He wouldn't have been able to wait till Monday to do something, he's not that patient," Kenny was telling Craig just as Tweek finally managed to get his thermos lid back on and raced into the living room. Grinning widely, Kenny clapped his hands together and announced, "Look at you Tweeky, a veritable barbarian with your weapons and a skein of the bitter, boiling, ruthless and depraved blood of tired men."

Nodding, unsure what else he was supposed to say to that, Tweek squeaked, "Aren't we g-gonna go now?!"

"But of course Tweekers, we do have a Grand Wizard to see!" Breezing past Tweek, Kenny opened his front door and walked out of it. Coming up beside Tweek, Craig put a hand in his hair for a brief moment and ruffled his wild mane before grabbing his hand and leading him out of the house, closing the door behind them both.

Surprisingly enough, the moment they'd stepped out of the house, they were met with a panting Butters, who looked like he'd run all the way here. Upon seeing Kenny, he let out a breath of relief and said, "Th-the Grand Wizard me down t'find you, Princess! He said the mean ol' Drow Elves might've gotcha or somethin' an'that's why you were taking' so long!" Looking behind Kenny, Butter's face split into a grin. "Well heya fellas!"

With a sigh and an eye roll, Kenny patted Butters' arm and said, "The Grand Wizard clearly grows impatient. At least we'll have a strong Paladin to accompany us back to the Kingdom." As Butters blushed and tried to stammer out something, Kenny looped his arm around the boy's and beckoned Tweek and Craig forward. "Well, let's not make him wait any longer."

Craig started forward and Tweek hurried after him a moment later. Even though he wasn't supposed to be fighting today, he could feel his body thrumming with excitement. He wasn't sure what he'd overheard Craig and Kenny talking about while he'd been making coffee but Tweek wasn't worried. After all, why would they send them into a pointless battle?  _I'm so glad we joined the game! I thought maybe we'd never join, but now that we have, it's so exciting. I wonder if Craig's having fun, he seems like he is. I hope he's enjoying himself._

As they reached Kupa Keep, Butters ushered them into the backyard, which was a flurry of activity. Swords were being cleaned and sharpened, Archers were practicing, and even the Stables seemed to busy. Eyes widening, Tweek found Clyde, who spotted him at almost the same moment. Letting go of Craig's hand, Tweek squeaked, "Clyde!" and waved his hands over his head.

A grin spreading across his face, Clyde bounced over to Tweek, his helmet going lopsided with the motion. "Teacup! You're here! And you even brought Craig!" Catching Tweek in a hug, Clyde exclaimed, "Are you excited?! We're totally going to kick those Drow Elves' asses!" Looking at Craig, Clyde bounced on the balls of his feet. "You're going to get to put those Thief skills to good use and get that Stick back!"

"Yes indeed!" Stepping out of the castle, Token in tow, Cartman planted his staff on the ground before him and leaned forward, looking their group over. "Today Feldspar, you will bring glory to Kupa Keep with your superior skills. It is my hope that you can retrieve the Stick and right the wrongs which were committed against us last night. Do you think you're up to the task?"

Stepping forward, walking away from Tweek so he could draw in front of Kenny and Butters, Craig tilted his head up and clearly said, "Yes, Grand Wizard. I think that I am up to the task." Tweek watched him with wide eyes. After everything he'd see the night before, the blond couldn't help but be awed with how easily Craig pushed his monsters aside and stood tall and fearless.  _He's so strong, I wish I were that strong. I wish I could be like Craig._

Watching him silently for a moment, Cartman lowered his head in a nod before raising his head and calling, "Those who have been tasked with attacking the Elves, gather and go! The Kingdom of Kupa Keep will be great once again!"  _If Craig's leading them,_  Tweek thought, feeling emboldened at the sounds of the gathered soldiers cheering.  _Then of course it will._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! They're totally going to kick ass.
> 
> And by kick ass I mean they're probably going to lose but Craig's going to look bad ass doing it.
> 
> So because I've still got a shit ton of comments to answer but I want to bring this up now, the person who went into Craig's room was actually his mom. Both of his parents are abusive, though I would agree that his father is worse. I hope that clears things up!


	31. Go Down Swinging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first off, oh my gosh, I almost have a thousand comments. Holy shit.
> 
> Secondly, FINALLY SOME ACTION!!! Goddamn, I've been waiting for this. Granted it's not as exciting as it would have been from Tweek's perspective, but it's still pretty damn awesome. 
> 
> So yeah.
> 
> Enjoy.

_Jesus Christ, this is bullshit._

As the cheering of the other boys rose around Craig, he found his face darkening. Yanking down his Chullo, the tall boy attempted to keep his mutinous thoughts to himself.  _This is going to fail, none of you realize this is going to fail._  None of the people who were excited right now realized that this whole plan was going to fail but Craig and he didn't like it. He didn't want to be doing this at all, leading a group of kids into a battle they couldn't win, but that's what he'd been tasked with, right?

_You're not doing it cause you want to, you're doing it so Cartman doesn't send Tweek instead. You're doing this for Tweek._  Heh, what didn't he do for Tweek? At the thought of the boy, Craig turned around and saw green shining eyes staring back at him from under a fresh layer of coffee stain. Something in him wanted to stand taller at the sight of that  _belief._  Tweek thought he could do it, didn't he? So maybe he should actually try.

Truth be told, he hadn't even been thinking about the battle since Kenny revealed he'd be leading the charge. Everything else had just been too damn time-consuming. What with the catastrophe his parents had caused and then taking off to Tweek's house, only to find a barrel of crazy there too, the fact that he'd be fighting in a pretend game in the morning had escaped his mind. Until, of course, Kenny had reminded him.

At least the real plan, the one Token had come up with, would work. This was just killing time.

Walking over to Tweek, Craig looked down at the boy calmly and said, "It looks like I have my marching orders." Though he seemed a little nervous about something, Tweek's face was still glowing with excitement.

At Craig's words, he let out an involuntary sound before changing it to a growl. "You'll kick ass!" Tweek exclaimed, his eyes shining with more determination than Craig could muster. Feeling better, just because of the blonde's enthusiasm, Craig resisted the urge to ruffle Tweek's hair and instead focused on Butters, who'd appeared at his elbow.

"I'm t'go into battle with you, Craig!" the boy announced proudly, puffing out his chest and standing as tall as he could. "Now I-I might be a higher level, but th'Grand Wizard put  _you_  in charge so it should be you rallyin' the men, okay?" Nodding, Craig spared one last glance for Tweek before the blond boy was pulled away by Kenny, who seemed to have a mission on his mind.

Putting all concerns he might have had aside when he saw Clyde follow Tweek, Craig turned his attention to Butters. Instead of responding to the boy, he just watched him silently, which was fine because Butters seemed perfectly capable of carrying on a one-sided conversation.

Walking towards the break in the fence, where a group of around fifteen kids had loosely gathered, Butters said, "Well, since you're a Thief, you're a lil' weaker than most, b-but that's okay, 'cause I'll be there with you!" Looking at the gloves on his hands, Butters continued, "Th'Grand Wizard said the plan is t'split into two groups. One'll go 'round the front the normal way, an'then while the Elves're all distracted, we'll go 'round the back!" Smiling, he waited, probably for Craig to say something.

"Hm," was all Craig managed to give in response. To be honest, it did sound like a decent plan, but it also sounded horribly simple and clearly something Kyle and Stan would have thought of. Then again, Cartman wasn't very creative.  _Token's plan will be better at least. Considering how much he studies these battles, he knows more than any of us._

"Don't worry buddy," Butters told him, patting his arm, an action with Craig instinctively shrugged off with furrowed brows. "I'll be there t'keep everyone all safe! I'm the highest level fighter goin' after all."  _Well, at least Token kept Cartman from throwing away anyone useful._  Sparing Butters a nod, Craig drew level with the other kids and looked them over. He noticed a couple fifth graders, one third-grader, but mostly fourth graders that he knew by name. None of them were powerful, they were really just a group of Warriors and Mages.

Upon seeing him, the soldiers stood at attention, all sheathing swords and strapping shields in place or pushing up the sleeves of their bathrobes-turned-robes and readying their staffs. Craig noticed that, with the exception of one of the fifth graders, he was the tallest of the group. It wasn't something he actively cared about, but it did make things more convenient, just in terms of looking like he was in charge as well as acting it.

When no one did or said anything for a few long moments, Butters nudged him in the side and hissed, "Y'know, you're supposed t'give a speech or somethin'." When Craig looked down at him, face still blank, the boy tilted his head like a puppy and insisted, "Y'know, for moral an'stuff."

_Well, way to pick on my weaknesses._  With a soft sigh, Craig faced the other kids, fixing them with a bored look. "We're going to fight the Elves," he began, with volume if not emotion. "Which you already knew."

Everyone just blinked at him.  _Even Tweek would be better at this than me!_  At least Tweek was positive about the whole thing.  _That's it, I've got to think positive._  "I'm positive we're not going to do the best," Craig said, without really thinking it through. When everyone gave him varying degrees of stricken and shocked looks, he quickly backtracked. "I mean, we're good, but they're clearly going to be waiting for us."

_Shit, this isn't going well…_  Fishing around for something better, Craig followed his hopeless statement up with, "But they're Elves, and they suck. So we're still cooler than them." Catching sight of Butters' encouraging nodding out of the corner of his eye, Craig finished, "So while we might not win, I'm positive we're going to kick ass. So if you're going to go down, take as many of those fuckers down with you as you can." When there was no reaction to his conclusion, Craig simply flipped off the other kids.

Instantly, they all started cheering loudly.  _Fucking figures._

Turning around for a moment, Craig caught sight of Tweek being poked and prodded by the makeshift armory. Though he wasn't about to yell over to the boy, he held his head high and nodded once. With a lopsided grin on his face, Tweek twitched and gave him the thumbs up. Feeling his chest swell with something, confidence he assumed, Craig turned back to the soldiers and put a hand on one of his wooden knives, ready as he'd ever be.

"Let's go," he announced flatly, drawing a knife and lifting it into the air. With more cheers, everyone drew their various weapons and headed out towards the street, leaving Craig and Butters alone. Looking to Butters, Craig shrugged internally and started towards Kyle's yard.

As they walked, Craig's mind wandered minutely. Traveling to Tweek as it so often did, Craig found himself thinking about the night before. He was actively trying to force as much of it into the back of his mind as possible, after all, he'd told Tweek he didn't want to talk about it and so far, the boy had been honoring that wish. But he couldn't help himself from wondering how the blond was handling the whole mess.  _I never got a chance to ask him. I hope he's alright._

At least they had the game to distract them.

"Ah- Now, th'Elves are gonna be waitin' for us, probably," Butters told Craig, breaking through his train of thought. "S-so you should be ready to fight as soon as y'get through the fence."  _Well, that's where I would be waiting._  Nodding, Craig watched as Stan's fence slipped by before they came to the fence that contained the Elven Kingdoms. Kyle's tree fort rose above them, mildly ominous and menacing.

"Also, you should know, I'm not so good at climbin' up th'back way," Butters warned, his voice getting softer as they got closer. "B-but I'll be right up as soon as possible buddy." Looking to the break in the fence, Craig motioned for Butters to stop talking and crouched beside the gap. From where he was, he could see one of the Elves fiddling with his wooden sword. Conveniently, he could also see the back of the tree, which did have a rather precarious way up

Hearing the faint roar of the other kids approaching, Craig thought of Tweek's confident, shining eyes before counting off on his fingers for Butters.  _Three. Two. Fuck it, let's lose with style._  As Butters yelled, "We're gonna send you to heck!" Craig charged through the fence just as the other group of soldiers burst through the fence at the front of the yard.

Instantly, Craig focused his attention on the Elf who'd engaged with him. Drawing both of his knives, Craig attacked first, having the element of surprise and therefore the first move. Without a sound, he struck the Ranger quickly three times. When the boy tried to counter, Craig danced backward, shielding himself effectively with several quick parries.  _Crap, this kid is several levels above me._

Decidedly not wishing Tweek was there with him, Craig struck again, trying to speed up the battle to the best of his ability. His serrated wooden blades caught in the other boy's cape as he darted around behind him and struck his back.  _That's gonna leave a bruise._  He was faster than the Ranger, but he was weaker. Frustrated with his own ineffectiveness, Craig lunged forward more recklessly. He managed to land a critical hit, but he could feel the wooden sword coming down across one of his arms, making him draw in a quick breath.

_I can't afford to lose health._  He could hear cries of war and orders being thrown left and right but he didn't pay attention to any of it. Craig's attention was solely on defeating one enemy at a time. As Butters finished off his own opponent, he turned to Craig and yelled out, "Hammer of Justice!" before hitting the boy over the head with his hammer. As the boy went down, Butters touched Craig's shoulder and said, "There, now I healed you, buddy, go get th'Stick!"

Nodding, Craig dashed towards the Tree, sticking his knives back into his belt as he went. An arrow came at him but he ducked low, letting it whiz right over his head. Dodging around several pairs of warriors locked in furious combat, Craig took a flying leap at the tree and managed to catch onto the first piece of wood. Drawing the butter knife he still had, Craig stuck it between his teeth and used all the skill he'd picked up from climbing out of his own window and up to Tweek's to scale the tree.

Several other warriors had already managed to get up to higher levels. As he reached the first tent and branch, Craig's eyes were drawn by the Ranger and Warrior trying to push each other off the branch but to limited success. Suddenly, Craig's attention was brought back to his own problems as he found himself being assaulted by a yelling archer, who struck at him with a knife that he drew from his belt. With only the butter knife immediately available, Craig blocked the strike quickly, surprised when he managed to deflect it.

In the process, however, he happed to look at the ground and what he saw disheartened him. The Human forces were outnumbered and it showed. They were all surrounded by Elves, who had no doubt expected and planned for this attack.  _Shit shit shit, we're already losing._

While he was distracted, the kid landed a hit on the hand Craig had been holding the knife with and he almost dropped it. He could feel his knuckles flair with pain but all Craig did was grit his teeth and scowl at the other boy. "You're dead," he managed to spit before lashing out with his knife. It wasn't even the blade that caught the Elf but Craig's arm that sent him tumbling off the small platform and into the smaller branches. Though the kid managed to catch onto a branch, he definitely wasn't going to be rejoining the fight anytime soon.

Satisfied and too preoccupied to do more, Craig stuck his butter knife back between his teeth and dodged around the still fighting Elf and Human so he could continue scaling the tree. Though the slats were far apart, thanks to his height, Craig had no problem climbing up to the next level. Though he was painfully aware of the fact that he'd lost health and he didn't have any to spare, Craig pushed it from his mind.

The moment he got to the next level, Craig was beset by a Ranger and an Archer. Blocking the strike the Ranger leveled at him, Craig suddenly felt his eye flare up in pain as an arrow hit it.  _Damnit, that's a critical. I'm dying!_  With a growl, Craig darted around the Ranger and landed several hits on the Archer's torso before the boy could block.

Roaring, the Ranger charged at Craig but he sidestepped the boy, only suffering a few hit points in the process. Dodging another one of the Archer's arrows, Craig decided to finish the boy off quickly.  _If I'm going to die, might as well take him with me._  With speed and skill the Archer couldn't hope to match, Craig danced around him and stabbed him in the back, hard enough to send the Archer tumbling to the ground, smacking his face on the wooden floor.

As the Ranger realized what had happened, the boy spat, "Human scum! You'll pay for this!" Running forward, the boy was about to hit Craig when a hammer got in the way, protecting him.

"Nu-uh! Not today y'won't!" Engaging the Ranger in battle, Butters shot Craig a meaningful look and said, "Go on Buddy, don't let anyone stop you!" Stepping back, Craig turned tail and started up the tree once more.  _Thank god I'm good at this._  The tree wasn't easy to climb. If it hadn't been for his gloves, Craig would have ended up with half a million splinters. As it was, he was going to have several lovely new bruises on his arm and a black eye from the arrow.

Reaching the next level, which was surprisingly empty, Craig took a moment to breathe. There was a table here and quite a bit of space, clearly so multiple people could gather there comfortably. Walking over to the table, Craig's eyebrows hiked up at the sight of a map with game pieces scattered over it.  _Token would love to see this._  Reaching into one of the pockets in his belt, Craig pulled out his phone and snapped a few pictures of the map before replacing his device and heading back to the trunk.

As he heaved himself up to the top of the tree, Craig was first struck by the fact that the leaves above them made this part of the fort dark. There had been several clumps of leaves ripped out to allow for sunlight to stream through, but Craig still felt like he'd been blinded. At first, he tossed his head about aimlessly, unsure what else he was supposed to do when he couldn't see a damn thing, then something caught his eye and he stopped.

Because there it was. Just like Clyde had said it was. The Stick of Truth.  _We might actually pull this off…_

"End of the line, Thief." Drawing his knives at once, replacing the butter knife in his belt, Craig squinted against the darkness and watched as a hulking figure stepped out of the corner. It was a sixth grader, tall, hulking, angry. Craig wasn't sure how Kyle or Stan had managed to get a sixth grader on their side when most sixth graders hated fourth graders, but that didn't change the fact he was facing one.

As the boy narrowed his eyes at Craig, he groaned. "Oh come on, really? I have to fight a fourthy?!"  _Point proven._  "Aw, this sucks ass. I thought they'd at least send someone bigger!" His sword was as long as Craig's arm and his stance proved that he was good at this. Craig, however, didn't feel intimidated. After all, compared to his dad or his mom even, this sixth grader was nothing.

"If I'm so easy, then why don't you just finish me off," Craig said flatly, tipping his chin up to make himself look as tall as possible. "Should be easy right?" Keeping one knife guarding his torso and the other guarding his throat, Craig shifted so he'd be ready to run at a second's notice. When the kid just sneered, Craig did the one sure-fire thing to piss him off. "Pussy." He flipped the kid off.

"Die, Human!" the boy roared. Without much grace but with enough force to shake the floor, the sixth grader charged. Darting right, Craig landed a hit to the boy's ribs, but the kid only turned and raised his sword. "Do you have any idea how much health I have?" he asked, swinging at Craig. "You're toast."

Raising his knife to block the hit, Craig found himself being tossed to the floor of the fort. Wincing slightly as his shoulder flared up with pain, the Noirette found himself having to dodge or be crushed. "Come on," he taunted flatly, picturing Tweek's bright eyes in his head and tightening his grip on his knives. "Is that the best you can do?" He knew he didn't have many hit point left, but he wasn't going to go down without a fight.

"You want to see me do better?" the boy asked, grinning. Lifting his sword over his head, the boy lashed out, striking Craig across the face. Once again knocked off his feet, Craig winced. He wasn't 'dead' yet, but he was close. "How do you like that, fourthy!?"

"Eh," Craig commented, wiping the blood from his split lip onto the back of his glove. "I've been hit by worse." Without warning, he darted forward. Using his relative shortness to his advantage, Craig struck at the boy's joints with as much force as possible, smacking the sixth grader's knees, elbows, and wrists with surprising accuracy.

Letting out a shout, the boy fell to one knee for a moment. Taking a step back, Craig tried to judge if he could just go and grab the Stick now while the other boy was down. Before he could decide either way, a hand rested on his shoulder and Butters called, "You're healed, Craig, for half of your hit points!" Though that didn't stop his body from feeling the various hits he'd sustained, Craig felt determination well up within him.  _Tweek wouldn't want me to stop, so I won't._

"You're dead!" the sixth-grader suddenly bellowed. Attention snapping back to him, Craig darted around the boy and struck quickly. His blade managed to hit the boy's ribs again, causing him to let out a grunt of pain. But even as he did so, the sixth grader managed to land a hit on Butters.

"Oh no, I've been vanquished!" Butters announced, before falling to the ground. Annoyed that he'd just lost his healer, Craig darted forward and smacked the boy over the head with his wooden knife, dealing what he hoped was a critical.

"Stupid kid, you're only level two!" Surging toward the Noirette with a yell, the sixth grader struck Craig across the chest, dealing a critical of his own. Feeling the bruise already forming, Craig coughed as he stumbled upright.

"I might be level two," Craig muttered, readying his knives. "But at least I'm still alive." With a grunt, Craig lunged forward once more. With a leap, Craig caught the boy's neck between his two wooden blades and dragged him down by his head, flattening him. Stepping back from the boy, who played dead as was per the rules, Craig finally turned back towards the Stick.  _I did it. We actually did it._

"I'm sorry dude, but I'm going to have to stop you." Stepping out of the shadows with Kyle behind him, Stan drew his sword. "That was pretty cool, I'm not going to lie, but I can't let you take the stick."

Even though he knew he was going to die, Craig still flipped the boys off and said, "Just remember to send me against someone challenging next time."

"We literally whipped your asses and you're still flipping us off." Snorting, Stan raised his sword and said, "You are so full of shit, Craig. I like you."

"It's a shame you chose to be part of the Humans, you'd have made a kick-ass Elf," Kyle commented, crossing his arms. "Remember, you have to play dead after this. Your other teammates will carry you back."

Nodding, Craig readied his weapons. Without any more banter, Stan struck. Craig tried to block it but he already knew he wouldn't be able to. As the wooden sword hit his chest, Craig muttered, "Oh no, you got me," before tumbling backward and falling to the floor of the fort. As his head protested his carelessness and Butters scrambled to his feet to begin the process of helping get Craig to the ladder so he could climb down on his own, Craig thought of Tweek and decided that he hadn't done that badly.

Tweek would have been proud.

_I hope he's okay…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Craig giving a pep talk XD Literally me.
> 
> Also, I feel like I'm going to be putting off the events of the game for as long as possible because there's a lot to work out XD Oh well, we'll get there eventually.


	32. Hearts Beat In Favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE HIT 1000 COMMENTS AHHHHHH!!!!
> 
> I'm sorry, I'm just very excitable.
> 
> I just want to remind you that yes, Tweek sees everything as if it's real. So... yeah.
> 
> Enjoy.

"Do you think this bow suits him? I don't think this bow suits him. It's too sleek, he needs something brutal, this is prissy. Clyde, where do you keep the Mongorian bows?" Kenny picked at the belt around Tweek's shoulder before letting it snap back. "On second thought, do we have any small Mongorian bows? We don't want to crush him."

"Hang on, they're on the other side of the stand." Clyde let out a groan. "People either need to know what they're doing with this armory or they need to ask for help! They just keep messing things up." He didn't sound particularly annoyed, Tweek doubted he could get annoyed. "AH! I found the bow, I just need to get the matching quiver. After the fight yesterday, no one bothered to put things back in order."

Catching the bow Clyde tossed at him, Kenny held it up and pulled back the string, testing its strength and sights. "Wow, this one's not even half bad. It doesn't even require any enchantments to make it work. What do you think Tweekers? Like this bow?"

Tweek, of course, wasn't paying a lick of attention to Kenny's attempts at outfitting him with a bow. His sole focus was on Craig, who seemed to be talking to the group of kids that were attacking the Elves.  _I should be beside him!_  Tweek thought with unexpected vehemence.  _But what if I got in the way?! What if I tripped him up while he was in the Elf fort and he fell and he broke his spine!? OH GOD, THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_

Suddenly, Kenny leaned down towards Tweek and said in a softly musing voice, "Look at our little Feldspar. So good at rallying up his men." Kenny's voice right by Tweek's ear made the blond feel even more jittery than he already had been. "I'm telling you Tweek if ever there came a day where he went to these people and told them to defect with him, most of them would go without question. People like power, he's got power."

Before he could tell Kenny to leave him alone or pull on his hair or anything of the sort, the warriors surrounding Craig cheered loudly. Tweek opened his mouth to call out to the boy, but before he could, Craig turned around and looked at him. The boy looked like a warrior right then, with his head held high and his knives at his belt. Grinning despite himself, Tweek pulled both hands up into a twitchy thumbs-up gesture. Even though Craig turned around before he could catch his expression, Tweek had a feeling that Craig would have had determination shining in his eyes.

_Of course he would, he's going to win!_

"No no, don't do that, stop it." Straightening and pushing Tweek's hands down, Kenny tutted under his breath and pushed the bow into the blonde's grip. "You're not supposed to wave to them like that, sending them off to battle with encouragement and a smile is my job. You're acting like a wife sending her husband off to war." Jumping at that, Tweek stared wide-eyed at Kenny.

"B-but you only ever do that for Butters!" Tweek squeaked, unable to think of anything else to say that sounded mildly intelligent. As it was he wanted to die for having put his foot in his mouth.  _Craig and I don't act like that! He's my friend, I'm encouraging him! Besides, he's gonna win anyway so why does it matter?_

Pulling at a clump of Tweek's hair sharply, causing the boy to yelp, Kenny chided, "Come on Tweeky, you can't say things like that out loud. Who I offer my womanly support to is my business and my business alone. Mind your manners." Shivering at Kenny's perfect falsetto and the look he was giving him, Tweek nodded nervously and held up the bow under the pretense of sighting it.

Suddenly, his head was accosted as Clyde wrapped his arms around it and rested his chin on the blonde's head. Letting out a cry, Tweek found that Clyde didn't seem to care that he was making the blond panic so he simply resigned himself to letting the happy brunette do what he wanted. "Come on Lady McCormick, him and Craig are best friends! It's different! Isn't that right Teacup?" Tweek tried to respond, but his words were muffled by the arm over his mouth.

Kenny put a hand on his hip and scowled primly at Clyde. "I'm trying to protect them both Clyde, don't be so pigheaded." Clyde let out a cry of protest at that and no doubt pouted. "Feldspar and Tweek need to get their act together if they want to be true warriors of Zaron." With that, the boy snatched the bow from Tweek's hands.

Now with his hands free, Tweek managed to pry Clyde off of him. "Ngh- Craig and I  _are_  warriors!" Tweek insisted, twitching hard.  _Oh Jesus, do they not think we're warriors yet? What do we have to do? What if they make only one of us a warrior and the other one gets kicked out! What if they don't let me be a warrior and Craig gives up the game for me!? I'd feel so horrible!_

Taking the quiver of arrows that Clyde offered him, Kenny shook his head as if Tweek's statement had been amusing and simply said, "Oh Tweekers, you are a warrior. You're simply the bestest and the bravest." Patting his head, which was just terrifying rather than calming when someone other than Craig did it, Kenny brightly chirped, "Yes Clyde, I think this bow will do wonderfully~!"

Puffing out his chest, Clyde crossed his arms over his chest and said, "Well, you know how it is, I'm the weapons expert around here." While they talked, Tweek grabbed for his thermos, which was resting on one of the armory tables, and struggled to open the lid. His hands were shaking and he wished that Craig was there, before chiding himself for thinking like that.  _He's off fighting the Elves! He's doing something way more important than anything I could need him for._

"I've been  _trying_  to get the Grand Wizard King to put you in charge of the armory but he won't listen to me!" Kenny exclaimed, sighing in a very princess-like way. "It's ridiculous how stubborn he can get sometimes." With a cry, Tweek dropped his thermos and just stood there above it, watching coffee dribbled out the slightly loosened lid with a certain level of defeat. Sighing, Tweek quickly dropped to the ground so he could grab his coffee.

"That would be sweet, but the Grand Wizard has the final say," Clyde said, sounding slightly disappointed, but heartened at the same time. Taking several long gulps of coffee, Tweek almost dropped his thermos again when he heard the sounds of screaming and fighting swell up. "Looks like they made it," the brunette commented, before noticing Tweek on the ground. "Do you hear it Teacup!? That's the sound of Craig kicking Elven ass!"

At the mention of Craig, Tweek found a smile pulling at his lips. Hands steadying somewhat, he managed to close his thermos before stumbling to his feet. The moment he was up, Kenny looped an arm with Tweek's and pulled him away from the armory, Clyde in tow. "That's wonderful, now Tweek, you need to focus! You're going to learn archery, so you'll be more versatile."

Nodding, Tweek tried to keep up with the Princess as he attempted to block out the sounds of battle from his mind.  _It's okay, he's probably doing great. He's way stronger than me after all, what help would I be there? I'd just get in his way. Jesus, do I usually get in his way?! I did last night, I probably do all time! Why does he put up with me at all?_ "OH JESUS, IT'S –ACK- TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek screeched, yanking on his hair with the hand that wasn't still holding his thermos.

"Come on Tweek, you'll be great at archery!" Clyde insisted, confusing Tweek for a moment. He was so used to Craig, who knew what was going on in his mind, that he'd forgotten most people couldn't tell what he was freaking out about. That only succeeded in stressing him out more, but he swallowed it back.  _Come on, don't be such a baby!_

"Y-yeah," he stammered, pulling his fingers out of his hair and simply biting his lip. As Kenny brought them over to the target range, to the side of which was the med tent, Tweek was pushed into position as Kenny started fussing over him, attaching his quiver and finding a place for his bow.

Wandering out of the tent, Token leaned against a small tree and looked the scene up and down. Catching sight of the rational boy, Tweek sent him a plaintive look, which Token didn't respond to. "Learning archery?" he asked, though it was fairly obvious that they were. "Did you go with the Thresher bow or the Mongorian?" he asked curiously.

"Mongorian," Clyde answered, helping to tighten the straps before handing Tweek the bow. "It fits him better than the Thresher." Nodding, Token watched curiously as Kenny took out an arrow, quickly showed Tweek how to notch it, then stepped back. Armed with the bow, which looked horribly dangerous in his small hands, Tweek aimed it at the target and let out a squawk as the arrow escaped his fingers and went flying down range.

Cringing back, Tweek twitched hard.  _I screwed up, I totally screwed up, why am I such a screw up all the time!?_  "TWEEKERS!" Jerking his head up, Tweek stared at Kenny, who was spinning in happy circles. "You're a natural at this!"

"Well done Tweek, that's pretty impressive," Token agreed, as Clyde hugged Tweek jubilantly while letting out a string of praises. Tentatively looking down range, Tweek's eyes widened when he found that his arrow had embedded itself in the center of the target. "Well Princess, it looks like you've discovered a natural-born archer."

"Of course I have, I knew he'd be great at it," Kenny preened, twirling a lock of hair around his finger and holding his head up high.  _How did I do that?!_  Panicking, Tweek shook his head and backed up.

"NO! I-It was an accident!" he screeched, shaking hard. Not letting him get away, Kenny took out another arrow and handed it to Tweek. "I-I don't like archery!" Tweek tried to insist, terrified that once he screwed up this time, they'd all be horribly disappointed in him. "I'd rather just stick with my –ghn- club!"

"Come on Tweek, don't be so nervous," Kenny chided, guiding his hand into notching the second arrow. "Just do what you did before, it's not that hard."

Shivering, Tweek tried to see down the sights, but it was impossible to aim when he was so jittery.  _Craig would believe in me, Craig would say I could do it!_  But his hands wouldn't cooperate and his heart wouldn't stop racing. Frustrated, Tweek just let out a loud yell, yanked back the bowstring and fired it.

The second arrow landed right next to the first. Staring at the target in hopeless resignation, Tweek hung his head and allowed everyone to praise him.

_Maybe you're just better at this than you thought._  Head whipping up, Tweek was shocked to find a familiar, wavering image of Craig standing before him. He had a black eye, a split lip, and several over nicks and scrapes, but it was the same image of Craig that had haunted Tweek before he and the boy had become friends. At the sound of that voice, however in his head it was, Tweek felt himself calm down.

_But I'm not as good as Craig,_  he insisted, hardly caring that he was talking to his subconscious. As Kenny and Token started talking about something and Clyde went to retrieve Tweek's arrows, the image of Craig shrugged and walked over to him.

Even though it wasn't real, Tweek could almost feel the hand in his hair.  _You don't have to be,_  the image said, that deep, familiar tone so soothing.  _I'm proud of you._

"THEY'RE BACK!" Suddenly, the image of Craig vanished as there was a swell of pandemonium around them. Looking over towards the break in the fence, Tweek felt his heart stop as he realized what he was seeing. It was the remanence of the soldiers who'd gone to fight, but they were covered in blood and injuries. Some of them were even being carried by others it was so bad.  _Oh god, they lost…_

"Token, get the medical tent ready," Kenny ordered, his eyes wide and worried. Racing over to the group, the Princess, pushed warriors out of the way until he'd found what he was looking for. Butters was injured badly, but at least he was still walking. Him and fifth grader were supporting someone between them. Unsure what he was supposed to do, Tweek just trembled and stayed where he was.  _Where's Craig? I don't see him!_

"Butters, what happened?" Kenny was asking, his hands fluttering over the boy but not touching him, no doubt for fear of hurting his injuries. Butters arm had a horrible gash in it as did his forehead, which had to have hurt. "Did you get the stick?"

"N-no, they were waitin' for us, M'lady," Butters said, his voice scratchy and heavy. "We made it pretty far, but they were too strong!" As they got closer, Tweek's stomach dropped and his whole body started to shake because he  _knew_  who that was, the person being supported between Butters and the fifth grader. "Craig almost made it, but th'other fellas got 'im in the end!"

Craig's entire front was covered in blood. The gash that was ripped in his tunic showed a dark, bloody wound that crossed his torso. Other gashes on his arms and legs were just salt in the wound.  _Is he even alive?! OH GOD, THEY KILLED HIM!_  But then Craig raised his head. For a moment, Tweek felt relief, but that relief was quickly turned into horror as he saw the boy's face.

His mouth was bloody, probably because of internal bleeding, but that wasn't what Tweek focused on. No, all he was able to see was Craig's bloody and damaged eye. Instantly he wanted to throw off his bow because he was certain an archer's shot was what created that. He wanted to close his eyes and scrub the image of Craig's missing eye out of his head forever, but he couldn't stop staring.

Catching Tweek's eyes, Craig's gaze focused and he gave the boy an entirely calm look, as though he wasn't dying. Then the crowd of injured soldiers passed him, shoving him aside. As Tweek watched, Craig's good eye slid closed and didn't open again.

"Okay, Okay, lay them out carefully," Token was ordering, though his voice sounded far away. "I want them properly spaced and set up. Clyde, go tell the Grand Wizard what's going on but  _don't_ bring him, I don't need this place any more crowded than it already is. Actually, get Scott Malkinson first, I need his medical training here. He's technically got more than me." Tweek heard all of that but he didn't understand, all he could see was Craig being laid out on a cot and  _not moving._

"Tweek, be a dear and get the medical supplies, the should be in the smaller building off from the left side of the keep." At the sound of Kenny's voice, Tweek leaped into action. His limbs kept shaking but all he could think was that he needed to do something or Craig might not survive. Taking off, he dashed in the direction Kenny had told him too, his legs getting tangled as he did so.

_They lost. Craig lost! B-but it's Craig, how could he have lost!?_  Tweek shook his head, terror clouding his brain. No, he should have been there with him, he should have been there protecting Craig. That way it would have been him with the injuries and not Craig who was just a Thief and not a Warrior and didn't deserve this! _Why did this have to happen? Why would Cartman send them out on a battle that they were going to lose!? Shouldn't he have known?_

Bursting in through the door of the smaller part of the castle, Tweek looked around the dimly lit space and finally found a bag labeled  _medical supplies._  Stumbling on the flagstone, Tweek grabbed the bag and tripped his way out of the castle.  _Oh, Jesus, he's going to die! WE ONLY JUST STARTED PLAYING, WHY DID THIS HAPPEN!?_

Nearly falling into the medical tent, Tweek held out the bag to Scott before blearily looking around for Craig. Token was hovered over him, muttering under his breath some sort of spell. His hands danced with holy light as he conjured up the magic and held it over Craig. Collapsing to his knees beside Craig, Tweek grabbed the boy's hand tightly in his own tiny palms, feeling sick as he noticed the gash that ran over his knuckles.

Suddenly, the glowing light enveloped Craig's chest and before Tweek's eyes, the wound across his torso stitched itself closed. As if in reaction to the healing spell, Craig's hand twitched and it closed around on of Tweek's hands, enveloping it. Putting his head down, Tweek let out a breath of relief as the bloody socket that had been Craig's eye began to heal as well, flesh reconstructing itself before his very eyes.

Craig didn't wake up, but Tweek didn't care, he was just so thankful that the boy wasn't dying.

"He'll wake up soon," Token reassured Tweek, taking a moment to fix him with a calming look. "I need to heal other people, Scott will be over to finish the job in a moment." Nodding, Tweek watched as the black boy moved on to the next bloody unconscious warrior. Tweek just swallowed back any number of whimpers and squeezed Craig's hand to keep himself calm.

From beside Craig's cot, Butters was still talking to Kenny, even though he was injured. "A-and when I got up there, I saw this big ol' sixth grader fightin' Craig. He was in bad shape, b-but Craig just kept goin' like it was nothin'!"

Running his hand absently through Butters' hair, Kenny said, "I'm surprised he was still standing."

Eyes widening, Butters said, "I healed him a bit, b-but then I was taken out. But you should have seen Craig! He got a  _huge_  hit that took most of 'is health, and 'e  _still_  put the sixth-grader on the ground!" Looking to Tweek, he insisted, "I wish y'could've seen it Tweek. You'd've been so proud'a him. It was a shame th'High Elf was waitin' for him with Stan. He'd'a definitely gotten the Stick if they hadn't been."

Wiping some of the blood away that was dripping from the gash on Butters' forehead, Kenny mused, "It was a good idea to make him the leader." Tweek thought, in so much as he could when most of his mental power was being spent on Craig's condition, that Kenny looked worried about Butters, but was doing a better job of hiding it than Tweek was hiding his worry for Craig.

"Yeah! But I think he'd've done better if he'd had Tweek with 'im," Butters said, nodding sagely. "Cause Craig doesn't have much damage, but he's awful good at bein' fast and sneaky!" Looking at him, Tweek trembled and twitched. As if he could tell when he was nervous even while unconscious, Craig's hand tightened around Tweek's.

"Well, that's most likely true," Kenny agreed, his eyes distant as he studied Craig's face. Whatever else he might have said was stopped when Token knelt beside Butters to heal him, drawing their attention towards him instead of Tweek. Glad that the conversation was over, Tweek focused his attention on Craig.

Scott Malkinson came over a moment later and brushed Tweek away. "I need to heal and bandage him!" the boy insisted, his tone firm. "You can talk to him in a moment." Stumbling away from Craig dejectedly, Tweek stumbled away and went for his forgotten thermos, which had been left in the dirt by the archery range. Grabbing the thing with twitching fingers, Tweek played the story Butters had told over and over in his mind.

Even though Craig had lost, Tweek couldn't help but feel his chest swell. He'd been every bit as awesome as Tweek had known he would be. Noticing that Scott was moving on, Tweek hurried back over to Craig's side and dropped his unopened coffee in his haste to grab Craig's hand. Very slowly, Craig's eyes opened. He had bandages over his hand and his arms, but his eye was now only bruised and his mouth didn't look so bloody.

Impossibly blue eyes fixing on Tweek, Craig let out a breath and muttered, "We lost." He sounded so dejected, Tweek's heart ached for him. Twitching hard at that, Tweek was surprised when Craig yanked him closer using the hand that the blond was holding his with. Suddenly finding himself awkwardly collapsed over Craig's chest, Tweek felt his heart slow down when the Noirette's free hand patted his hair. "I'm sorry," Craig added, his voice sounding rumbly from Tweek's position.

"No! Y-you didn't lose!" Tweek insisted, struggling to straighten up so he could give Craig an intense look. "I mean –ngh- you didn't get the S-stick, but you were so bad-ass before you got knocked out!" Craig blinked in surprise at that, and Tweek could feel his heart beating in his throat at the sight. He wanted Craig to understand that everything was okay, but he couldn't think of how to do so.

"Stan beat me," Craig insisted, furrowing his brows slightly. "Even after everything, he just took me down with one hit." Tweek wished that he'd stop sounding so self-deprecating.  _You face monsters every night that are ten times more scary than Stan or a sixth-grader! Why can't you just understand that you did fine!_  Frustrated, Tweek just said the first thing that he could think of, the one thing that never failed to make him feel better when he heard it.

"It's okay, I'm proud of you."

Instantly, Craig's face smoothed out and though it might have been Tweek's imagination, he was nearly sure that the boy smiled slightly. "We'll beat them next time," he said, sounding absolutely certain through his monotone. "You'll see."

Smiling, Tweek nodded and said, "Yeah, of course we will." Because no matter what anyone else said, no matter what Craig thought, the Noirette was indestructible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE FLUFF!!!! SOMEONE SEND HELP I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK (ᗒᗨᗕ)


	33. I Have A Plan, Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS TWO HOURS LATE AND I'M SORRY!!!
> 
> Also, I found something in my comments and UGH IT'S SO CUTE!!
> 
>  _Tweek let his mind float whilst his fingers untangled the thick tufts of oily black that made up Craig’s hair. Craig had his head securely nestled in Tweek’s lap as he napped and Tweek took full advantage of the position, brushing his thumb along Craig’s hairline with masterful precision. Craig had only sighed before resigning himself to this treatment, falling into deep slumber shortly after Tweek started. He’d been worried his friend would wake if he stopped, so for the last half hour Tweek continuously combed and glided his hands through silky strands. The action was soothing and even he’d started to feel mildly drowsy. Watching Craig’s chest steadily rise and fall, along with the serene expression erasing tension from the day before, Tweek let his eyes drift shut and his back relax against the wall behind him. Even the birds chirping in the trees outside did nothing to stress him, in fact the sounds just served to lull him into a further state of peace. Only Craig’s presence could do this to him. Tweek sighed. Only Craig could get him to sleep. He wouldn’t have it any other way._ \- AussieDollVA
> 
> Like holy shit, it's so cute!! I can't believe you're reading my story if you guys can write like this. I feel so incompetent XD
> 
> Enjoy.

When he'd first been dragged back into Cartman's backyard, playing dead as per the rules, Craig had been feeling too bruised to really care about much. He'd fought to the best of ability, inevitably, he'd lost. Really, he'd been perfectly content to let Butters drag him wherever they were supposed to go.

Then he'd seen Tweek and the horrified and panicked look on his face, and suddenly everything had become a big deal.

Because okay, it was one thing to play dead for a bunch of kids that knew he was just pretending but it was another thing entirely when Tweek, someone who already had trouble telling reality from pretend, saw him hanging between two people, not moving. He'd tried to calm him down, but he was pretty sure that had just freaked the boy out more, which didn't his own mental state in the least.

It hadn't helped that the moment Tweek had run off, Kenny had softly muttered to him, "Look at Tweeky, he thinks you're actually dying. So precious." It had been all he could do not to shoot up and do  _something_  to stop Kenny from saying things like that.

But then Tweek had returned and he'd had to go back to playing dead, which again, probably wasn't helping.

So to be honest, he wasn't too surprised when the outcome ended up being a very concerned and worried Tweek holding his hand like he might disappear if he let go. Even after he'd been  _healed_ Tweek hadn't bothered to let go. Though Craig knew it was probably a bad idea, he let it happen, because Tweek needed it and to be honest, he felt better because of that small point of contact as well.

His only complaint was that Token insisted that he still had to stay lying down because he'd just fought and he needed to rest.  _Typical Token, playing mom._  But Craig didn't complain. He was very aware of the fact that Tweek would likely leap to his defense if he did and he didn't need that right now.

He couldn't stop thinking about what the boy had said to him.

When he'd woken up, the first thing he'd seen was Tweek, crouching over him, an expression of relief and terror plastered over his face. That much hadn't surprised him a bit, what had surprised Craig was that even after everything, after losing to the Elves when Tweek had believed he could do it, the blond had told him that he was proud. Craig hadn't known how much he needed to hear that until Tweek said it.

Pretend game though it might be, Craig was distinctly glad to know that no matter how many pointless battles Cartman threw him into, Tweek wouldn't think any less of him.

Right now, his mind had wandered to the bow that Tweek had somehow occurred at one point or another while he'd been gone.  _I wonder who gave it to him… Probably Clyde, he's always around the armory._

"-and then Craig kicked this mean ol' Elf off'a the tree! Wh-which looked cool from the ground, 'cause he looked so frightenin'." Drawn from his thoughts by the little laugh Tweek let out at Butters' retelling of the battle, Craig looked over at the boy and raised an eyebrow, even though it pulled at the bruise over his eye.

"He shouldn't have been standing so close to the edge," Craig pointed out, voice flat. Really, that moment had been almost amusing, but he'd been too into the battle to pay attention. Of course, he could have pointed to any number of other parts to laugh at, but who didn't want to kick an Elf out of a tree?

"Ngh- I wish I could have seen!" Tweek exclaimed, his hands tightening around Craig's fingers. "Ugh, I m-missed all the cool stuff." Feeling his twitching working its way down Craig's own arm, the Noirette turned to him and gave him a calm look.  _It was a losing battle,_  he wanted to say.  _We were never going to win in the first place. You should be glad they didn't throw you to the wolves like they did to me._

"Come on Tweekers, that's not true, didn't you have a good time with me?" Kenny pouted, pausing in his weird grooming of Butters' hair to look at Tweek. When the boy only yelped, the Princess rolled his eyes and haughtily commented, "Well I don't know about Tweek but I had a wonderful time teaching him archery. You should have seen him Fucker, he's a natural."

Raising his eyebrows at Tweek, Craig said, "Oh?"

"GAH NO I'M NOT!" Tweek instantly screeched, making several of the other people around them wince. Looking horribly guilty Tweek twitched hard and mumbled, "I'm not that good at it, it w-was an accident the first time and just luck the second." Wishing he could sit up so he could more easily reach Tweek's head, Craig instead simply squeezed the boy's hand.

"I bet you were pretty cool looking," he commented evenly, picturing Tweek firing a bow and finding that he thought it did look pretty bad ass. Glancing again the bow on his back, Craig added, "Especially Mongorian bows, those things are notoriously hard to do well with." Even though Tweek was frantically shaking his head, Craig could tell that he wasn't shaking as badly as he had been before.

"He hit the bullseye every time," Kenny boasted as if he'd been the one to do it and not Tweek. "I'm so proud of my little junior archer, he's excellent at this." Craig's brows furrowed at that tone coming from Kenny, but he wasn't sure why it annoyed him so he just ignored it. After all, it worked with most everything else that irritated him. "Tweekers, you should show Feldspar over here your archery at some point, I'm sure he'd be impressed."

Looking at Craig almost nervously, Tweek squeaked, "N-no! I don't think I want to!"  _So he'll do it for Kenny but not for me?_  Squashing  _that_  particular rouge thought before it got anywhere, Craig simply sighed and struggled upwards so he was sitting up instead of lying down. "W-what are you doing!?" Tweek squawked, his eyes widening.

"I'm sitting up," Craig told him evenly, before combing a hand through the boy's hair and turning an irritated expression on Kenny which only made the boy smirk. "If he doesn't want to do archery, don't make him," Craig said shortly, his tone not one that encouraged debate. Under his fingers, Tweek calmed down, which in turn made the Noirette feel better. Briefly, he wondered when his emotions had started to hinge so entirely on how Tweek was feeling, but then it escaped him when a particularly annoying voice invaded his general space.

"Feldspar, what the  _hell_  is this supposed to be?" Quickly removing his hand from Tweek's hair, Craig turned to face Cartman, who was storming towards the sick tent with an angry look on face. Getting ready for the shitstorm, Craig tuned out Tweek's frightened yelp and simply focused on giving Cartman a bored impassible look. Part of him wished he was standing, but the rest of him knew that he'd only get more grief for breaking character.

"The Elves were too powerful for the number of people you gave me to work with," Craig said blandly, not really caring if he offended the people he'd fought with.  _They should have known it was a losing battle._  "We fought as hard as we could, but without proper forces-"

"No, I'm not talking about the fact that you all look like a bunch of pussies for loosing," Cartman dismissed, waving away Craig's attempt at a well-crafted response. "I'm  _talking_  about this!" Shoving his way through the other recuperating soldiers, Cartman shoved his iPad into Craig's face. "What the hell is this?!"

Glancing down at the screen, Craig slowly said, "It looks like me climbing up the tree to retrieve the Stick." From behind him, he could hear Tweek's sharp intake of breath, as though he was awed. Craig couldn't even begin to pretend that the little sound didn't make him feel infinitely better.  _See Cartman, someone thinks I did okay._  "What's wrong with it," he ventured to ask, lifting his chin and raising an eyebrow.

"What are you doing with a knife in your mouth!?" Cartman demanded, sounding furious. Narrowing his beady eyes, Cartman spat, "We are not playing pirates, Feldspar, we're warriors of fucking Zaron!" Huffing, he pulled the device out of Craig's face and said, "I never want to see that again."

"Oh, be nice Grand Wizard," Kenny chided, his arms folded over his chest and his eyes disapproving. "Feldspar did a better job than anyone else would have in that situation. He was doing it purely for convenience sake." Craig didn't particularly want the boy to stand up for him, but he decided that this was one of those things he wasn't going to fight.

"Lady McCormick, I'm just trying to make sure my warriors are at the top of their game," Cartman attempted to explain, clearly perturbed that Kenny would argue with him. "I don't want the Elves to die laughing at us because then  _Kyle_  might say that we're cheating. Clearly, he's the cheating one, that dirty Jew." Crossing his arms, he glared at Craig, who just blinked passively and didn't react. "Just don't do it again Feldspar, you are a Thief so kindly act like it."

"But he still did good, right?" At the sound of Tweek's voice, Craig quickly turned around and looked at the boy. He was watching Cartman nervously with wide green eyes. "He almost got the Stick! D-does it really matter if he looked like a pirate?" Huffing at Tweek's question, Cartman looked at his iPad as if it had personally wronged him.

"Well, I have to admit, everyone who fought had a practically miraculous kill ratio," Cartman said, tapping away. Looking over the rest of the tent, who was now paying attention, the boy muttered something under his breath before holding his arms wide and saying, "Humans, soldiers of Kupa Keep, I understand that you kind of suck because you all lost, but you still fought bravely and your efforts will not be in vain, we will take back the Stick and we will make those Drow Elves suffer for every drop of blood that was shed today."

"What do you think you're doing, giving war speeches in here?" Suddenly, Token appeared beside Craig, his arms crossed and a skeptical look on his face. "This is a sickbay, not somewhere for you to be causing disruption." Looking at Craig, Token asked, "What do you think you're doing. Lay back down, you almost died." Sighing, Craig fell backward, hardly complaining when Tweek caught his head with a squeak, clearly worried about it hitting the ground.

Turning back to Cartman, Token said, "These people have just fought a major battle, they need to heal if you want to have them back in commission." He made sense, which obviously annoyed Cartman.

"Yes, but I need to go over this battle with Feldspar because he was the one who led it," the boy argued. "So you have to let him out."

"B-but he's still injured!" Tweek insisted, twitching. "He should be in here for a while!" Craig, on the other hand, actually agreed with Cartman for once. Then again, with Token standing over him, Craig decided not to annoy the black boy.  _I'm fine, it's just a game, after all, I'm not really that badly injured, just bruised._

"Give him another health potion then, I need to speak with him." Giving Token a stern look, Cartman said, "You're a good Cleric Token, but I need you at the strategy table as well. As with you Lady McCormick. I'm sure you understand." At the mention of strategy, Craig's eyes widened and he struggled to sit up again, despite both Tweek's and Token's protestations.

"I managed to get a look at the Drow Elves' strategy board," Craig said, his words making Cartman's eyes go greedy and Token's eyebrows shoot up. "I used my- Uh…" He fished about for a game appropriate name for a moment before saying, "My glass of future sight to preserve an image of the board for you to see. I thought that maybe it would be of some use to you."

Apparently swayed by this, Token called, "Scott, do you have any healing potions left?" Looking up, the diabetic boy tossed over a package of chips, which Token caught and passed to Craig. "Very well, I suppose this does take precedence over him resting. We'll meet you back in the Castle soon, Grand Wizard."

"Excellent, I'll await your presence," Cartman said before turning to Kenny. "You too Princess, I expect you to be with them, after all, you are one of my chief tacticians."

Glancing down at Butters, Kenny gave a very princess-like sigh and said, "Grand Wizard, if I may, I'm sure you can deal with this on your own. I'll probably just get in the way." Craig  _almost_  snorted, because he was pretty sure that the only reason Kenny wanted to stay here was because of Butters, but then he'd never understood the strange boy so he didn't comment.

"G-Grand Wizard King!" Butters struggled to sit upright against Kenny's attempts to keep him down so he could sit up. "Before you go, d'y'think I did well against the mean Drow Elves?" He looked like a puppy, so eager for praise, Craig almost felt bad for the boy. "I mean, I didn't last as long as Craig here, b-but I did do pretty well, right?" Whatever else he did or didn't think, Craig didn't miss the look of irritation that crossed Kenny's face.

"It's  _Feldspar,_  Butters," Cartman corrected, sighing in annoyance. "And yes, you did fine."

"On second thought, I think I will come with you!" Brightly bouncing to his feet, Kenny straightened his skirts before skillfully edging around Cartman and walking towards the castle. "I'll see you there, Grand Wizard."

Rolling his eyes, Cartman muttered something under his breath again and walked after Kenny, leaving the rest of them alone. Looking between a confused Butters and the quickly disappearing skirts of Kenny, Craig shook his head and decided not to question it.

Opening his package of chips, the Noirette expediently ate a few of them before realizing he hadn't had any food since last night at Token's house and wolfing down the rest of them. Seeing this, Token sighed and said, "Just don't tell Cartman," before going and grabbing another bag of chips, which he passed to Tweek. Glancing at Craig, the boy asked, "Did you really get a picture of the Elves' strategy?"

Craig nodded. "Yeah, I did." Waiting for Tweek to finish his food, because he was taking the blond with him, Cartman be damned, Craig pulled his thankfully uninjured phone out of his pocket and brought up the picture. "It's a decent one too. You should be able to get some useful information from it."

Glancing over his shoulder, Tweek let out a squeak. "Jesus man! They're way better at strategy than we are! W-what if we lose?!" Patting the boy on the head absently, ignoring the look that Token gave him, Craig shrugged in response to Tweek's question. "Ghn- I hope that you can do something!" Tweek exclaimed, looking up at Token.

"Don't worry, we're not going to fail," Token told Tweek. "Now, we should probably go, before the Grand Wizard comes back to yell at us." Looking over at the other medic, Token called, "Scott, you're in charge. Butters, if you've got the energy, it would be great if you could help."

"You got it!" Butters exclaimed, whatever confusion he'd been feeling earlier gone.

Getting to his feet, helping Tweek to his feet as well, Craig quickly stooped to grab Tweek's coffee thermos before taking the lead and leaving the medical tent. The blond followed him close behind, though he didn't grab Craig's cloak. Glancing sideways at him, Craig had to admit that he was looking more and more like a barbarian by the day. Now with a bow over his back and his pan still hanging at his belt, he looked more armed than most of the other kids there and he definitely looked more wild, what with that war paint streaked over his face.

_I wonder when he redid it…_

Pushing his way into the tent that served as the keep, Craig allowed his eyes to adjust to the dimmer lighting before turning to look at the gathered group of people around the strategy table. There was only one more seat open, which he assumed was for Token, so Craig simply stood to the side, waiting for Cartman to give him an order.

"Craig! You're healed!" Clyde cheered, grinning at Craig from his seat at the table. Cartman glared at him, probably for using the wrong name, but Clyde ignored it in favor of grinning at Tweek. "Tweek, you're here too? Wonderful!" Tweek simply squeaked and twitched, whereas Craig flipped the boy off. Clyde pretended to look offended but he was too busy grinning to make it work.

Clearing his throat, Cartman frowned and said, rather loudly, "Okay, I believe we're trying to strategize right now, Clyde. If you wouldn't mind focusing that would be nice." Turning to Craig, the boy said, "First thing's first, Feldspar, for your bravery and your strength fighting against the Drow Elves, you're now level three."

Tweek let out a cheer as did Clyde, but Cartman just rolled his eyes and said, "Now, I believe you have something to show us Feldspar?" Nodding, Craig pulled out his phone and tossed it onto the table with the picture proudly displayed on the screen. "Very nice Feldspar, I'm impressed that you thought of something like this."

Grabbing the phone, Token quickly looked it over. "Interesting. Kyle clearly knows what he's doing when it comes to strategy." Falling silent, he studied the screen for a moment, his eyes focused. Craig knew that Token could spend an hour just looking at that strategy map and he'd still find something new to talk about. But as he'd expected, Cartman didn't have that kind of patience.

After about thirty seconds of silence, the boy interjected, "Um, excuse me, but what's interesting about it?" Leaning on his staff, Cartman glanced at the screen over Token's shoulder. "All I see is Kyle trying to be a sneaky Jew Elf like always."

Mind wandering, Craig glanced down at Tweek, who had his eyes fixed quite plaintively on the coffee cup in Craig's hands. Remembering himself, Craig quickly opened the thermos for Tweek and handed it down to the blond boy, who shot him a quick smile of thanks before sucking down. As he watched, Craig found the sudden desire to run his hands through Tweek's hair overwhelming his mind and he jerked his eyes back up towards the strategy meeting at once, unsure what he was supposed to think about that.

_He's not even panicking about anything. What the fuck?_

"What I want to know is if it affects our other plans," Kenny commented, lacing his hands under his chin and staring at the board contemplatively. "I mean if everything goes according to plan, we should be luring them out to fight tomorrow so we can take back the Stick, right. That does make the most sense after all."

"No, they're expecting that," Token said, shaking his head. "Kyle's got this figured out really well. If we try to do something like that, we're screwed." Reaching out blindly, Token started shifting pieces on the strategy board, his attention still focused on the screen. "Grand Wizard, we have control over the territory by the Princess's residence, correct?"

"As far as I was aware, yes," Cartman said, frowning, trying to keep up. Suddenly looking horrified, he exclaimed, "Oh, don't tell me that Elf is trying to take control of that land  _again._  That is so not cool, we have had  _three_  battles over that piece of land. They have most of the forest but I'm  _not_  giving up this part of it! I don't care if he does have the Stick, he's  _not_  taking that piece of land from me again!"

"The last time we had a fight there, two kids ended up getting attacked by homeless people," Clyde added, looking concerned. "Why would they try to take it back?" Remembering Clyde's retelling of that story, Craig leaned forward and looked at the board. Noticing where Token was moving the pieces, Craig frowned slightly.

"So why are you moving us towards the park?" Craig asked slowly, working through what Token had clearly already seen. "You made it sound like they were attacking the edges of the forest." As if suddenly understanding, Kenny's eyes widened and he smiled, nodding at Token, who raised his eyebrows.

"You're right, they will be attacking from that direction, but most of their forces are going to be coming from the Park." Looking between Cartman and Clyde, who were starting to catch up, Token explained, "If we send most of our forces to head them off at the park while only sparing as few soldiers as necessary to hold the line in the forest, we can probably take the park from them."

"That," Cartman said, his mouth stretching into a grin. "Would be so cool. If we have the park then we'll have finally taken back all the land that Kyle stole from us last week!"

"It would be on Monday, an hour after school gets out," Token warned, looking around the strategy table. "So we wouldn't be able to take the Stick back from them tomorrow, but we can use tomorrow to plan out a more thorough defensive strategy."

"I think that's a splendid idea," Kenny announced flipping his hair behind his shoulders. "What's more, I think that Tweek and Craig should lead the defense in the forest. They're both good warriors, despite being new, why not let them show us their strength?" Craig could feel his blood starting to quicken at the thought of fighting with Tweek again. He knew that they could do it and this would be the best possible time to prove it.

Squeaking from where he stood huddled beside Craig, Tweek let out a, "Rrrr- Th-that sounds dangerous! Are you sure we're ready for something like that? I don't know man, that's a lot of pressure!"

A malicious smirk crawling across his face, Cartman said, "You know what Tweek, I think that you are." Thumping his staff on the ground, Cartman announced, "Well men, I suppose we have our strategy decided. Tomorrow, we prepare, on Monday, we attack."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is way too much fun, seriously. It's all I can do not to write more than one chapter a day.


	34. Would You Care?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I'm late.
> 
> I wasn't actually going to post tonight, mostly because all day I've been out of ideas, but then I took a second look at the first, oh, I dunno, five hundred words of the chapter and started putting in things and shifting things around and working out the kinks and adding in more fluff around the edges until suddenly I had a chapter.
> 
> I deleted the other five-thousandish words of nonsense.
> 
> This one right here, this is gold.
> 
> Enjoy.

The sun set early in South Park. Most places, it took longer to get dark, but in the basin formed by the foot of the mountains, Sunset was around four in the afternoon. Everything would start to get dark and businesses would start turning on their lights. Sometimes, the sky wouldn't start to turn colors until after the sun itself had set behind the mountains. Only then would the sky light up in a dazzling myriad of hues as the atmosphere reflected back that refracted sunlight into the heavens.

Earlier, the sky had been saturated with color, like if you wrung out the clouds you'd squeeze from them streams of red and gold. Tweek didn't usually watch the sunset, his window faced away from it and even if he had been able to see it, the sky wasn't something he generally found interest in. That being said, right now, as he walked next to Craig in the dark, Tweek wished the sunset was later so he could see it here where he had a clear view instead of from Cartman's backyard where he had to try to see around the castle to watch it.

Currently, Craig and he were on their way to Token's house after having grabbed the Noirette's backpack from Tweek's house. Keeping a tight hold on Craig's hand, Tweek kept glancing up at the sky, waiting for the stars to appear. It was too light out for them to appear, but it was too dark for Tweek's liking, so he just waited for it to get dark enough for Craig to talk about Outer Space and stumbled along after the boy in the meantime.

Clyde and Token had just gone straight to the black boy's house, so it was just Craig and him. Tweek wasn't sure if he liked it better this way or not, after all, Clyde and Token were good friends, but he did like the quiet and he liked walking next to Craig without having to pay attention to what other people were saying. It was a lot more peaceful this way, and the Noirette seemed content so Tweek saw no reason not to be himself.

They hadn't stopped at Craig's house at all before heading for Tweek's. The blond got the feeling that Craig was avoiding his house, but he didn't blame him. After hearing the boy's monsters, he didn't want to go anywhere near there at night again either. Though, if Craig usually had to deal with them then Tweek wasn't sure why he'd avoid them now.

But maybe that was why Craig spent so much time with Token and Clyde even though he seemed like he didn't need human contact to function, unlike some people. Because he was hiding. Tweek wished he could banish the thoughts from his head, but his brain had a terrible habit of holding onto things for far too long.  _Craig probably hasn't even thought about it since this morning._

There was a sound from behind them and Tweek twitched hard, squeezing Craig's hand in favor of screaming. Stoically, Craig glanced down at Tweek before tightening his grip around the blonde's small hand in return.  _It's okay, his monsters can't follow us here. If they do, I'll protect Craig this time!_  Tweek knew it was ridiculous, but with his bow still strapped to his back, and Craig next to him, the boy felt confident he could do something.

Of course, there was still the chance that Craig would get in trouble for being out. He hadn't called his parents or contacted them yet and Tweek doubted he would. On one hand, he could understand parents not caring about where their children were because his parents never cared, but at the same time, he didn't think Craig's parents were the same.

"You sure it's okay for you to be out?" Tweek asked, still nervous about the matter. His voice sounded weird to his own ears and he cringed at it, shivering at the way the silence rushed back in to fill the void. Craig took a moment to answer, simply walking on as if he hadn't heard Tweek at all for a few minutes. Then he blinked and glanced down in Tweek's general direction.

Eyes fixed somewhere in the blonde's hair, Craig said, "They won't mind." For a moment, Tweek thought the boy would ruffle his hair, but then Craig went back to watching where they were going and the idea was dismissed. Tweek wondered if he'd heard bitterness in Craig's voice when he'd spoken, because that would have been the tone he would have used if he said similar, but the blond hadn't heard anything.

Looking forward himself, Tweek glanced at the street before turning his eyes skyward. The stars were only just starting to come out, each little twinkling light battling the remaining light in the sky and the lights of the cities below. He tried to identify the constellations that Craig often pointed out to him, but he wasn't good enough to know them all yet. Listening to the soft scuff of Craig's sneakers against the pavement, Tweek felt the silence begin to be oppressive once more.

Changing the subject abruptly as a thought flitted through his mind, Tweek asked, "Why did Princess Kenny and Cartman want us in charge of the forest defense?" He wasn't sure why the question had occurred to him to ask, but the moment it had slipped off his tongue, he realized that he'd been thinking about it for a while.

"I mean, I'm not as high a level as you! Besides, w-what if I fail and they lose the territory they already have? Oh Jesus! WHAT IF THE ELVES CAPTURE ME?!" At the thought, Tweek all but screamed. In his panic, the grip he'd had on his thermos loosened and the container of coffee fell from his hands. Quickly, Craig's hand shot out to catch the thing, but he missed. It clanged noisily as it hit the pavement and started to roll away. Letting go of Tweek's hand, Craig caught the runaway coffee container while Tweek watched and shivered.

Once he'd gotten a hand on the container, Craig straightened and walked back over to Tweek. "You're going to be fine, I don't think they allow prisoners in this game." Unscrewing the freshly filled thermos, Craig handed the container back to Tweek. Taking it from the taller boy's hands, the blond sucked down the coffee inside, letting his frozen limbs relax as he did so. While he drank, Craig's hand naturally gravitated towards his hair.

"I-it's still a lot of pressure man!" Tweek squeaked, closing his thermos before turning back to Craig and starting back down the sidewalk that would take them to Token's house. As he walked next to Craig, Tweek couldn't help but notice how many steps he had to take to cover the distance just one of the Noirette's strides took him. "I'm not as strong as you!"

"No, you're stronger," Craig told Tweek firmly, his hands stuffed into his pockets now that he was no longer holding Tweek's hand.  _Stronger!? OH GOD, NO I'M NOT!_  As if he could sense Tweek's desire to protest, Craig turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. "Dude, your character is built to be stronger than mine. That's just how this is."

"B-but you're stronger in real life," Tweek insisted, trembling lightly as he hurried to keep up with Craig. "I'm way weaker. Plus; I can't even climb trees! What good will I be in a –gnh- f-forest battle?!"  _What if I fall out of a tree and break my neck?! Oh god, what if Craig tries to save me and he dies instead? I don't want Craig to die!_  "IT'S TERRIFYING AUGH!"

"Maybe you can just fall on people then." His voice was so flat, it took Tweek a moment to realize that Craig wasn't being serious and was actually joking. Once he got it though, he couldn't stop himself from convulsing in high-pitched giggles. The idea of falling on someone was actually pretty funny, especially considering how ridiculous he usually looked anyway. Glancing up at Craig again, Tweek found that the boy was smiling slightly.

"No man," Tweek finally managed to say, once he'd gotten his breath back. "I want to be scary! I don't want to just –grr- fall on people, that's lame!" Smiling fading from Craig's face, just to be replaced by his usual deadpan, the Noirette shrugged.

"I don't know, I'd be scared if a barbarian fell out of the sky on me." He sounded so serious, but Tweek was pretty sure he was just making fun of him. Shoving into Craig in annoyance, Tweek whined pathetically, making the Noirette roll his eyes but pat his head regardless. "It's okay, climbing trees isn't that hard," Craig reassured Tweek, who wasn't sure if he could believe that, but was willing to admit that if Craig said it wasn't then it probably wouldn't be.

"Jesus, I don't know man, w-what if I fall and break my neck?" Tweek mumbled, looking down at his feet before glancing at the sky once more to see if he could spot any more stars. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair or something like Timmy." Biting his lip, Tweek felt shame creep up his face. It sounded like such a stupid worry when he said it out loud like this.

But then he felt Craig's hand slip into his once more and the blonde's body temperature returned to normal. "You won't fall," Craig assured Tweek, his tone soft and even. "If you do, I'll catch you." Remembering how Craig had apparently carried him home the night before, Tweek didn't doubt that the boy would be able to. Feeling somewhat better, Tweek squeezed Craig's hand and slowed down his steps as Craig did a better job of matching his pace.

As they walked, Tweek's mind wandered once more. His parents were probably still at the shop, seeing as it was too early for his dad to decide to call it a night. They were always open way too late on weekends and Fridays. Tweek didn't really care enough to say anything about it, but when they'd stopped by his house, he hadn't been able to keep himself from noticing how empty the house had felt.

At least he'd had Craig there to make the silence more bearable. Even though the boy was quiet, Tweek felt that he filled the spaces in between the words very well. Like just his breathing alone could fill the empty dead space. Sometimes he wondered what it was like, being the white space between words, but Craig seemed to be doing pretty well, so Tweek assumed it wasn't all that bad.

Sometimes, when he thought too hard, Tweek realized just how much Craig still confused him. He didn't know why the boy acted like he did, so different from everyone else. Tweek couldn't wrap his head around what went on inside the Noirette's head, even things as simple as why the boy never took off his hat eluded him. But even then, Tweek felt like he understood Craig. At some fundamental level, he  _knew._

That being said, when his mind flitted back to the fact that Craig hadn't told his parents where he'd be going, Tweek felt panicked. He hadn't told his parents, but that was because they wouldn't have understood what he was saying to them. The idea that Craig hadn't bothered just made Tweek feel antsy, even when he shouldn't. Vibrating, even as he walked, Tweek hummed under his breath and looked up at Craig. The boy looked so peaceful  _how does he look so peaceful when he's wandering off to Token's house like this?_

"Y-You're not gonna get in trouble at all?" Tweek blurted out, even though there was no context to his question.  _I sound stupid, I always sound stupid._  "I mean with your parents. W-when they find out and stuff…" Trailing off as Craig slowly turned his eyes on him, Tweek scuffed his feet some more and wished he could melt into the pavement while at the same time he struggled not to ask more.

"They don't care, it's not like they'd look for me," Craig told Tweek, his eyes moving away from the twitching boy. Squeezing Craig's hand, Tweek tried to shake some of the ideas out of his head that kept bouncing around. The way Craig said it, Tweek wondered if he'd gone bad places, just to see if his parents would find him.  _Jesus! Craig would never do something like that!_

But there was so much hanging off of that statement so Tweek frantically tried to condense everything he wanted to say into a few words. "Do they ever care when you just go places?" he finally asked, his body trembling. Suddenly, Tweek wondered if he should be asking the question at all, but he wanted to know so he didn't say that out loud or apologize for asking. He did, however, tell himself that he wasn't going to ask anything else.

For a long moment the silence stretched on, then the Noirette finally opened his mouth. "No," Craig answered in that characteristic straight and to-the-point way of his. His voice was flat, Tweek couldn't tell if that  _no_  was a bad one or a good one. Some kids would have been happy to have parents who let them do whatever, but others saw it differently, Tweek included. He saw it as neglectful. Considering how he'd been brought up though, he was probably biased.

Watching the look in Craig's eyes darken slightly, Tweek twitched and frowned.  _Maybe Craig doesn't know if it's bad or good either. I wonder if his parents are like mine after all? No, my parents are insane, no one is like them. Except for me. But they wouldn't remember I was alive if I didn't sit at the table and eat with them almost every night._

As the thoughts beat at his brain incessantly, Tweek felt the need to add, "My parents d-don't care either!" Instantly he felt stupid for speaking, like he'd said the worst possible thing as loudly as could be, but Craig didn't react, he just kept walking. Biting his lip hard to keep anything else from slipping out, Tweek twitched and shivered as he stared at his feet.  _Why did I have to open my mouth? Craig's going to get sick of me eventually._

If he wasn't already sick of him.  _No, Craig likes me being around, that's why he talks to me. He's my friend!_

"How long have they been like that?"

Tweek hadn't been expecting the question and he let out a yelp at it. Tripping and almost face-planting, the blond stumbled upright with Craig's help before staring at the boy with wide eyes. He wasn't even sure what he was supposed to say in response to a question like that.  _Oh god, why is he asking about them? Is he wondering if I'm like them!? What if he finds out how crazy they are and he doesn't want to hang out around me anymore because of it?!_

"Your parents, I mean," Craig clarified, as if Tweek needed clarification.  _OH JESUS, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS QUESTION! IS THERE A WRONG ANSWER? IS THERE A RIGHT ANSWER? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM ANYTHING!?_  How was Tweek supposed to explain that his parents couldn't remember his birthday and chose a random day every year for it to be? How was he supposed to tell Craig what it was like to live with robots? As the blonde's face shifted from panicked to downright terrified, Craig blinked. There was a shine of guilt in those blue eyes before the taller child sighed softly. Looking away from Tweek, Craig gently said, "If you don't want to answer-"

"GAH!" Tweek suddenly burst, twitching hard. "N-no! It's fine! I just- um…" Biting his lip again, the blond looked at his feet and mumbled, "Yeah, they've always been like that." He waited for Craig to judge him, to judge his parents. To rant and rave about how Tweek was in a bad situation or about how it was child abuse to forget a kid like that. Hell, Tweek just waited for him to do anything that anyone else would have done in response to what the blond had just told him.

But he didn't, Craig just let out a breath and said, "I get it. I think my parents like it better when I'm not around." Tweek's breath caught at those words and he could feel Craig's hand tighten around his once more. He kept waiting for an explanation, but when one didn't come, he accepted that it probably wouldn't. _How can someone live like that, thinking that no one wants them?_ He wanted to ask questions, but one look at Craig's face told him that wasn't the right thing to do.

So instead he huddled closer to Craig and softly said, "Mine wouldn't even n-notice the difference." He wasn't sure what he was trying to communicate to the boy with that, but he was pretty sure that the Noirette understood, because Craig put a hand in his hair and let it rest there for a moment. Taking comfort from that gesture, just like he always did, Tweek glanced once more at the sky and stared at the shimmering stars that had finally come out to play.

As they reached Token's gate, Tweek's mind wandered once more as he watched Craig type in the code. Shivering, he stepped back as the smaller side gate swung in, admitting them inside. Looking at all the trees around them, Tweek found himself thinking once more about the upcoming battle. "Craig, I really can't climb trees," he told the boy, needing to get the point across. "I'm going to do horribly on Monday and Cartman'll kick me out of the game."

There was a rustle of cloth and Tweek found Craig's cape settling over his shoulders as the tall boy beneath it drew him in tight to his side. "I'll teach you tomorrow," Craig told Tweek, his eyes distant as he stared down the path they were walking up. "We can go to the forest together and you can climb the trees there until you get it down perfectly."

Feeling a wash of relief crash over him, Tweek nibbled on his lip twitchily for a moment before putting his head down saying, in the vague direction of his feet, "Okay. If that'll make me better."

"Of course it will," the Noirette said, voice as flat as ever. "That's how everyone learns. By doing it until they know how." It made sense, and Tweek found himself grinning like a fool even though there was nothing remotely funny about it. Feeling like he needed to get out some of that energy, Tweek pulled out from under Craig's cloak and ran along the path for a bit, staring up at the sky the whole time.

Spinning around in a slow circle, Tweek pointed up and said, "That's the Eagle, right?" If he tilted his head, he could see the body, and even the wings coming off of it. He wasn't sure how people way back when constellations had been invented had found the pictures in the sky, but he supposed it was good they had done it, because he would never have seen them otherwise. Looking at Craig, Tweek found the boy staring not at the sky, but at him.

"Yeah, that's Aquilla," he confirmed, nodding slowly.

Looking back up at the sky, Tweek asked, "Don't you ever feel small when you look at the sky, Craig? L-like you're nothing but a bit of dust on the universe that it could flick away at any moment?" Twitching, Tweek commented, "I sometimes feel like that. We're s-so small all the way down –ghn- h-here, I bet the universe wouldn't notice if we all just vanished."

He wasn't sure why he'd said that, but the moment he did, Tweek found himself adding, "I think the universe would notice even less than not at all if I vanished." Letting his arms fall to his sides, Tweek heaved in a breath and let it out in a surprised  _whoosh_  as Craig eclipsed his vision. The boy's hat had been knocked askew, letting his dark, oil-black hair fall in his face. His head glowed, silhouetted by the millions of stars above him, and Tweek thought Craig looked otherworldly.

"Hey Tweek," Craig started, his voice steady and certain even though his eyes spoke volumes of a language that Tweek didn't speak. "I'd notice if you vanished." That was all he said, nothing else, just a few simple words that meant everything. Then he did something Tweek had never seen him do before. He took off his hat and put it on Tweek's head instead.

And then he walked away, leaving Tweek standing there twitching, unsure what he was supposed to say.

As Tweek hurried to catch up, the stars kept glittering above them like a blanket of light that stretched on forever. When he looked up at them once more before following Craig inside of Token's house, Tweek thought that they were even more beautiful than the sunset ever would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you everyone (๑◕ㅂ▰) all of your comments and support are what keep me writing. I can't believe we hit 10000 views. I'm so happy, I can't even begin to describe it.


	35. Tree Powers Activate!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I'M VERY HAPPY TODAY!
> 
> The last chapter went over well, I think but I hope this chapter is more fun. I'm sorry for all the angsty fluff, it needed to happen.
> 
> Also, if anyone is interested, I just posted the first chapter/prologue of a little Style story I've been working on. It's called Forces of Nature. Don't expect daily updates there, but if it gets support, I'll keep up with it. Promise.
> 
> Enjoy.

Craig had never been a particularly outdoorsy sort of person. Seeing as how they lived in Colorado, a place that was either hot or freezing and always dry as bones, this made a certain amount of sense. His parents didn't exactly make a point of making him or his sister go outside anyway so it was sort of a moot point anyway. Besides, Craig didn't like it anywhere, outside or in.

But he'd still spent a fair amount of time outside, especially around Stark's Pond. Animals, after all, tended to talk a whole lot less than humans did and when the weather wasn't abysmal, it was nice to just sit around and be still. Though he didn't do it often, Craig had done it enough to have gotten good at a few basic skills.

This included a rudimentary understanding of how to scale trees. Actually, at this point, it was probably past rudimentary. Craig was pretty fucking good at getting around, providing that he had enough handholds to rely on. He wasn't as good as Kenny, for instance, but he was better than Clyde and Token. And if it came down to a matter of speed and not the difficulty of the climbing surface, then Craig probably outstripped even the Princess.

Which is why, after a ten-minute argument with Cartman during which Craig had mostly stayed silent while Kenny argued with the fat boy, it had been decided that Craig would take the group of kids he was going to be leading jointly out to the forest to practice climbing.

Craig was trying not to be annoyed; after all, it was ridiculous to be irritated at something like this.  _If I wanted to teach Tweek alone that badly I should have done it and not gone and asked Cartman first. Besides, why do I care? He'll learn either way, it'll be fine. I'm being fucking ridiculous._  He should be focusing more on the task at hand, not how he felt about the hand-picked group of eight soldiers that he'd been allotted to lead with Tweek's help.

Said boy was currently walking a beat behind Craig. His hand was tangled in Craig's cloak, which made the Noirette feel slightly better about the whole thing (for whatever reason) but other than that, Tweek was acting perfectly confident. He'd been given a short sword to add to his already hefty collection of weapons and Craig had stopped by his parent's coffee shop with him in the morning to reapply the war paint, so he didn't look like his usual nervous self. He looked dangerous, and for that Craig was glad. He wanted the other kids to respect Tweek just as much as he himself already did.  _That's crucial for leadership, right?_

Still though, he wished it were just him and Tweek…

Currently, they were walking past Kenny's house, which was Human territory, even though everyone generally avoided it. As they walked through it, Craig kept his eyes peeled for the hobos he'd heard inhabited the area. He knew better than to dismiss it as a rumor, Clyde had pictures of the bites the kids who'd crossed the homeless people had sustained. They'd been nothing short of nasty.

A few rats scurried out of a trash heap and Tweek growled involuntarily, his face twitching slightly as he followed the path of the animals with his eyes. Craig was rather impressed with how well the boy was doing, considering. Then again, he didn't doubt that Tweek was worried about making a fool of himself in front of the other boys, so that made a certain amount of sense.

"I don't understand," Terry, a fifth-grader, said softly, coming up on Craig's other side and walking beside him. "Why do the Elves want this territory at all? It's not particularly useful." Glancing sideways at the boy, who was a level six Mage, Craig thought the question through. He made a good point of course, but the Noirette knew no better than he why Kyle wanted this piece of land in particular.

As Craig opened his mouth, Tweek answered before he could. "I th-think it has something to do with Princess Kenny!" the boy squeaked, keeping a grip on Craig's cloak even as he drew ahead a little so he could look at the Mage. Glancing up at Craig as if to confirm his answer, Tweek continued, "W-wouldn't it be good to have control over the land around your enemies? So you can control them?"

Furrowing his brows, Terry fell back a pace and admitted, "I guess that makes sense." They weren't really supposed to be talking about the matter at all according to Cartman, but seeing as the boy wasn't here, Craig wasn't going to enforce the rule. Cartman had a habit of putting too many rules on his warriors after all.

"Too many fucking hobos for me," Craig commented, his voice flat. At the mention of the homeless people that were probably around, Tweek gave a hard shiver and Craig kept himself from patting the boy's head to calm him down. Instead he just glanced at Tweek and said, "It doesn't really matter though, if any show up, we'll defeat them." He'd said it to everyone, but he'd meant it for Tweek.

"Remember what happened to Keven though?" That was a level five Warrior, a third-grader named Jesse. He sounded more than a little apprehensive. "He did everything he could, but the drifter still got him!" At the memory that they apparently shared, several of Craig's and Tweek's fighters shivered.

"If I see one, I'll knock their teeth out!" another Warrior exclaimed. Turning to look at Russell with raised eyebrows, Craig recognized the fear the boy was trying to hide and he decided not to put him down for it.

Luckily, Tweek was one step ahead of him. "Yeah! We're warriors of Zaron, we're not –ngh- scared of any hobos!" Letting out a growl, Tweek exclaimed, "W-we're going to beat the Elves so good tomorrow, no one will ever dare c-cross us!" He sounded believable, probably because he meant every word. Marveling at the amount of courage Tweek could have when he wanted to, Craig snorted but didn't disagree with the boys.  _Well, we will beat them, there's no question about that._

As they stepped into the tree line, Craig beckoned forward Daniel, the only kid in the group who'd been there when Cartman had officially drawn the territory lines for this area, and asked, "So you know where the border is?" When the boy nodded, Craig spared him a nod of his own. "Good. That's where we'll practice." Cartman had mentioned there being a two boy patrol out here, just to keep order, and Craig's eyes kept glued to the trees, looking for them.

While Craig searched, Tweek tugged on his cloak, distracting him. Glancing down, Craig raised an eyebrow. Twitching hard, the boy asked, "W-what about fighting on the ground?" Sensing his remaining nervousness when it came to learning how to climb trees, Craig sighed.  _It's probably because there are so many people around._  Eyes widening, Tweek suddenly hurried to say, "I mean, w-what if it's better to fight from the ground? I mean they're Elves so they all can climb and –gah!- N-Nevermind!"

"No, you have a point," Terry said, walking around Tweek's other side so he could look at Craig. "Are we going to have anyone on the ground?" Squashing the irritation that rose up at how everyone was still looking to him as the defacto leader, Craig chose to instead give the boy a bored look.  _Damnit, I wish it was just Tweek and me._

"Because the Elves fight in the trees so we should too!" piped up Ryan from the back, the only other fifth-grader apart from Terry. "We'll be at a disadvantage if we're on the ground."

Nodding along with this, Craig looked down at Tweek as he said, "If we can navigate the trees as well as the Elves, we'll get rid of their advantage and leave all of us on an even footing." Everyone else made sounds of agreement to this, but Craig only focused on Tweek, who still looked nervous.  _I'll protect you,_  he thought, knowing it was true.  _I would never let you get hurt._

Tweek tugged on the back of Craig's cloak again, but he looked more confident once more. "I guess that –grr- makes sense," he said his hand clenching around the handle of his pot. He'd been specifically told to leave his coffee behind today, and Craig suspected that was why his weapons had become his new thing he instinctively reached for.  _Jumpy, just like a real barbarian probably would be._

"Who goes there!" At the sound of that voice, Craig looked up and found the human guards above them in the branches of a pine tree. Lifting his hand, Craig waved once, showing that they were friendly. Unfortunately, the boy still aimed a bow at him, no doubt suspicious.  _He probably can't see shit from up there. God, Cartman's idea of Watchmen are stupid._

"W-we're here to learn how to climb trees!" Tweek called back, twitching. "Th-the Grand Wizard King and the Princess sent us!" When the arrow was directed at Tweek instead, the boy jerked, biting his lip visibly, no doubt to hold back a scream. Feeling an irrational amount of anger flare up at the thought of the watchman shooting Tweek, Craig gave into himself a little and allowed himself to put a hand on Tweek's shoulder and push the boy out of the way.

"It's Feldspar. The Grand Wizard said you'd be expecting us," Craig called up, his voice still even. Now that Tweek was out of arrow range, he felt a bit better. "Come on dude, don't be a shithead."

Walking forward till he could see up to the Archer, Daniel called, "Come on John, put on your glasses, I don't care that they're not cool. It's us." The boy raised his Jew staff and waved it around a few times as if to prove his point.

The other boy in the tree looked down at them and softly said something to John before calling. "Good day, fellow warriors. I hope your training goes to plan. Godspeed." Rolling his eyes and muttering something about  _D &D players, _Daniel beckoned Craig forward and walked towards the small creek that cut through the forest.

"This was decided as the official border," the boy commented, looking to either side of them as if judging the trees. "The High Elf and the Grand Wizard had an argument that lasted for hours over whether the line should start on this side of the stream or on the other side. At last, Princess Kenny suggested that we just have the border be as wide as the stream and make the territory in between no man's land."

Not particularly interested in the history, Craig looked up at the trees before turning to the other boys. "How many of you know how to climb?" When everyone raised their hands, Craig raised an eyebrow and reworded his question. "How many of you know how to climb well?" Most of the hands went down, with the exception of Terry and Daniel. Nodding, Craig quickly did his own mental calculations before feeling Tweek tug at his cloak again.

Looking down at the twitching Tweek, Craig recognized the light of an idea in Tweek's eyes. "Where would you put them?" he asked softly, perfectly happy to let the boy have a say if he wanted one.

Eyes lighting up, Tweek suddenly scrambled to let go of Craig's cloak as he darted towards the trees. "B-because we have an even number of –ngh- fighters, we should spread them out evenly!" Tweek squeaked, darting between the boys as he looked around with wide eyes. "I t-talked to Token about this and he said that if we find the most likely place for people to cross, then we have a pass to funnel them through."

As he talked, his bright green eyes lit up like lamps. He was animated with his speech, waving his hands around as he worked it through. Craig liked watching Tweek talk; when he wasn't focused on the people around him, he practically glowed. With his war paint on and all the purpose of a fighter to his words, Tweek really did look like a warrior, not just Craig's shadow.

Nodding along with Tweek's plan, William asked, "But what if they don't just come through here?" Twitching at that, Tweek let out a half-screech as if only just remembering that point before he started pushing the boys into two groups.

"Th-that's why we'll split up! About half can be here where they're most likely to come through, b-but the ones who are fastest at climbing will be over along the tree line just in case, s-so they can move wherever they're needed." When he didn't actively have to think about climbing the trees himself, Tweek seemed much more comfortable with the whole plan. "Ghn- Each group will have t-two Warriors, one Mage, and one Jew."

Noticing that Tweek had put both of the good climbers in one group, Craig assumed that this group was the one that would be spread out. It made perfect sense, and Craig couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.  _Of course Token would suggest something like that._  Looking at the two separated groups, Craig announced, "Okay, let's start climbing then." Then he flipped them all off, which seemed to only embolden them.

Instantly all the boys started climbing trees. As they did, Tweek screeched after them, "P-PRETEND YOU'RE ACTUALLY FIGHTING. IF YOU'RE A WARRIOR, YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO MOVE!"

Looking down at them, Brandon, the other third-grader, called, "What about you two? What's your strategy going to be?" Looking at the other climbing kids, the boy asked, "Aren't you going to be climbing too?"

Before Tweek could scream, Craig put a hand on his shoulder and called back, "We're going to scout out the rest of the tree line. If any Elves show up, try to get a carrier raven to Kupa Keep." Under his fingers, he could feel Tweek's twitching lessen, but not vanish entirely. When Brendon nodded and went back to trying to scale the pine he was clinging too, Craig pulled Tweek along further down into the forest.

"You did good," Craig commented once he was sure they were out of earshot of the other boys. Tweek looked up at him at those words and Craig didn't have a problem with putting a hand in the boy's hand then. Ruffling Tweek's admittedly soft blond hair, Craig said seriously, "I wouldn't have thought of that plan."

"I d-didn't," Tweek pushed out, grabbing onto Craig's cloak. "Token did." Letting his arm shift down till it was around Tweek's shoulders and pulling the boy against him, Craig thought about Tweek's statement.  _Heh, he must have stayed up later than I thought last night. I wonder if he slept at all?_

To Tweek, Craig just said, "Okay," because he was most proud of how Tweek had handled himself in front of the other boys. It didn't really matter to him who'd come up with the plan, only that Tweek had delivered it on his own without Craig's help. Looking around them, Craig remembered why they'd split off from the group and picked a tree at random.

Stopping next to the maple, Craig let go of Tweek and stepped back. Without any sort of preamble, Craig said, "Climbing isn't that hard, you just need to make sure you have at least one hand and if possible one foot on a sturdy place at all times." Grabbing for one of the broken stumps that had once been a branch, Craig dug his fingers in and reached up for a low branch. With a flutter of his cape, Craig turned himself upside-down partially and hooked a leg over a branch. Once he was straddling the branch, Craig glanced down to Tweek, who was biting his nails. "See, it's not hard."

"Jesus man," Tweek hissed, grabbing for his hair and tugging hard. "I c-can't do that! I'll lose my grip and fall! I don't think I should b-be doing this after all." Unwilling to give up so easily, Craig stood up on the branch and swung himself upwards higher in the tree, using handholds to keep himself steady. As he executed one particularly deft maneuver, Tweek screamed and yelled, "YOU'RE GOING TO FALL!"

Looking down at Tweek, who looked especially tiny when he was so high up, Craig called, "No, I won't. And neither will you." Swinging down, Craig got to the lowest branch possible before dropping to the ground. Walking over to Tweek, who still had his hands tangled in his hair, Craig ignored the way his insides lurched slightly and instead ran his fingers through Tweek's hair until the boy had let go of it. "Do you want to try on this tree or on another?"

Eyes jumping everywhere, Tweek shook slightly and pointed to an old twisted oak tree. "Th-that one." He said it firmly enough that Craig decided to go with it. Walking over there, leading Tweek over there with a hand on the boy's back, Craig looked up at the tree before looking at Tweek again. "Oh Jesus…" the blond muttered, running around the tree once before deciding on a branch beside Craig. Putting one of his small hands on the weirdly protruding knot in the trunk, Tweek hoisted himself up and managed to catch onto the low branch.

"OH GOD THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!" he screeched as his feet dangled above the ground and the hand clawing into the tree knot shook violently. Scraping his boots against the tree, Tweek let out a moan of terror. "I c-can't do this!"

"Yes, you can." Moving behind the boy Craig resolutely stood near Tweek and lifted his hands so they hovered over Tweek's ribs, just so he could catch the boy if he happened to fall. "Just put your foot in this hole and get a better grip. Nudging the foot to said hole, Craig watched as Tweek shivered and got a more secure hold on the knot of the tree.

With a shivery squeak, Tweek pulled himself up and scrambled to get his other foot into a deep groove in the knot. Looking down at Craig, who was still standing there patiently, Tweek visibly swallowed. From where he was, staring up at Tweek's admittedly long neck and his Adam's apple, which bobbed hypnotically when he swallowed, Craig felt something weird in his chest and spoke to distract himself from it. "You're doing great."

Turning back to the tree, Tweek hefted himself upwards and with one more push, he managed to get a knee around the branch he'd originally grabbed onto. Letting go of the knot so he could hold the arrows in his quiver and keep them from falling out, Tweek let out a whimper before sitting upright and grabbing for a new branch to keep himself steady. "D-did I do it?" he squeaked, his eyes tightly closed.

Using the same path Tweek just had to hoist himself into the tree, Craig touched Tweek's shoulder before grabbing it to keep the startled boy from falling. "You did it," Craig confirmed, moving his hand down Tweek's arm so he could grab it and pull the boy upright.

Slowly standing on the branch with a surprising amount of balance, Tweek looked around himself with a sort of stunned shock before looking up at Craig and whispering, "I did it." Laughing softly in what sounded like disbelief, Tweek moved his footing on the branch and said, "I'm d-doing it." Pulling out of Craig's hold, Tweek moved quite a bit quicker than the Noirette would have expected him to as he scaled the branches until he was crouched on one above Craig's head. "I'm climbing!" he exclaimed excitedly.

Swiftly scaling the tree to catch up, Craig followed Tweek as the boy used those small but talented hands to find grips on things that the taller boy wouldn't have even noticed. He swung between the branches, his laughter turning into those small squeaky giggles that Craig liked so much. "Catch me!" Tweek suddenly exclaimed, swinging not around the Oak again but instead grabbing for the branches of a tree near them and swinging to that tree instead.

Smiling despite himself, Craig called, "Oh, it's on!" before following Tweek. Finding himself falling behind the twitching boy, who was taking to climbing like a natural, Craig used his own tactics to head the boy off. Taking a different route, Craig swung in front of Tweek, causing the boy to shriek. Flailing his hands, the blond lost his balance and started to pitch forward.  _Shit shit shit._  Craig's stomach dropped. Without thinking, the Noirette let go of one of his handholds and used the free hand to catch the boy. In the same beat, Craig pulled Tweek closer, trying to slow his heart in the process

Tweek was trembling in his hold.  _Goddamnit, that'll teach me not to mess around like that. He could have fallen._ With a weight in his lungs, Craig pulled back so he could see Tweek's face. Instead of finding him shaking with fear, Craig discovered that Tweek was still giggling, his face pinched and happy. "I scared you," Tweek panted, his eyes twinkling mischievously as he gulped down air.

"Fuck you dude," Craig told Tweek, feeling his body lighten as he realized everything was okay.  _I shouldn't be that worried about him._  Letting Tweek go as the boy wriggled out of his hold and grabbed for a new handhold, Craig watched him, his heart still struggling to calm down.

Grinning, Tweek said, "M-maybe I'll have to catch you next time." Shaking his head, Craig snorted and followed Tweek as he swung to the next tree. "Come on, we should go find the others!" Tweek insisted, keeping ahead of Craig by a few branches.

"Yeah, let's," Craig agreed. And even though his heart was still racing after thinking that Tweek was going to fall, he found himself smiling. The sight of the blond enjoying himself was too good to not make Craig happy.

_We're going to beat those Elves' asses tomorrow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dawww~! It's so cute.
> 
> Tweek is the best. He's such a talented little coffee bean.


	36. Always With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this here, _this_ is what I call a chapter! It's got everything your heart desires. Fluff, drama, angst, pain and suffering, blood- oops, no wait, that's my list of what I like.
> 
> Tweek gets many head pats?
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek couldn't stop moving.

It wasn't a matter of being nervous or not having enough coffee, no, he was excited because after school today, they were going to wage war. Okay, maybe it wasn't war but it was going to be exciting. Tweek could feel his whole body vibrating to the beat of inaudible war drums.  _Craig and I are going to lead people against the Elves and we're going to win!_  He wanted to shout it from the rooftops.

Of course, he couldn't, that was the whole point of a sneak attack. But he was still ridiculously excited. After spending the whole day yesterday swinging from trees and practicing, Tweek was nothing if not ready for this.  _I should trust Craig when he says I can do something, climbing trees wasn't that hard._  Sure his fingers were covered in splinters, but he didn't really care. He'd had too much fun.

Because once it had been just the two of them, Craig always got softer somehow and Tweek never felt quite as nervous.

Flicking his eyes to the side, Tweek glanced at Craig, who was sucking on the eraser of his pencil as he stared at his paper. Craig had a habit of doing things like that. He never bit his lip like Tweek did and he didn't chew gum incessantly, but he did do things like roll the end of his pencil around between his lips.  _I wonder why he does it? Is it just an unconscious habit? I can never tell with Craig, I wish I could understand him like he seems to understand me._

Catching Tweek's gaze, Craig slowly raised an eyebrow, to which Tweek found himself smiling excitedly. Whipping back around to his own paper, Tweek stared at the worksheet before deciding that, really, he couldn't possibly do this. No, his head was far away from school and from boredom and from things of that nature, it was all focused on the battle after school.  _I can't believe that Cartman put me in charge with Craig. I hope I don't screw everything up. Oh Jesus, what if I do?_

Feeling himself start to get nervous, Tweek quickly grabbed for his thermos and drank down some of the coffee inside. No, it was hardly lunch yet, he needed to keep calm, otherwise, he'd end up freaking out by the time he needed to fight.  _Craig will be there, I won't freak out, he wouldn't let me._  Tweek believed that much, Craig knew him too well to ever let him get the point of a full-blown panic attack.

It was funny; when Tweek thought about it, he couldn't help but realize that in reality, Craig had only known him for a month or so. At this point, after everything they'd managed to put themselves through, it felt like a lifetime.  _Does Craig feel like it's been forever too? I wonder if he's going to get tired of me eventually…_  Shaking his head, a bit like a dog, Tweek dismissed the idea. No, he knew that Craig wouldn't. Friends didn't just get tired of each other after all.

Feeling Craig's eyes on him, a familiar feeling, Tweek jerked and spun in his direction just in time to feel a hand ruffle his hair. It was a funny sight, Craig with his pencil dangling from his lips, watching Tweek with a look of intense concentration as if fluffing his hair was the most important thing he could do and he needed to do it perfectly. As the nervous energy in him calmed down, Tweek stopped vibrating quite so quickly and actually sat still-ish for a moment.

Seemingly satisfied, Craig let his fingers slip from Tweek's hair, dragging some of it with him, pulling it over the blonde's face. Letting out a squeaky giggle, Tweek brushed the hair out of his eyes and grinned at Craig, who didn't exactly smile back but definitely looked satisfied with himself. As Mr. Garrison started to say something, Tweek let out a strangled sound and quickly turned back to his paper, not wanting to get himself or Craig in trouble.

Thoughts straying again, Tweek thought about the bag he had stuffed into his locker that held his Barbarian gear, including a small jar of the coffee paint. The plan was to stop by Craig's house to get changed before hurrying off and using what remained of their time before the Elves attacked to get ready. Picturing Craig in his Thief's outfit, sailing through the trees like some sort of hawk or bird of prey, Tweek shivered.  _This is going to be so awesome, I can hardly wait!_

Glancing up at the clock, Tweek hardly had time to jump in excitement before the bell rang, signaling the beginning of lunch. With a yelp, Tweek almost fell out of his chair in his haste to put his things into his backpack. Craig grabbed his thermos and held it patiently as he waited for the other kids to stream around them, leaving the classroom as quickly as they could. "You're excited," he commented, watching Tweek as the boy looked up at him quickly and bobbed his head.

"Aren't you man?" Tweek asked, struggling to stuff his books into his already stuffed bag. "W-we're going to be so cool!" Lowering his voice, just in case any Drow Elves were listening, Tweek hissed, "I bet after this battle, I'll –ngh- gain two levels!" The idea excited him into fumbling one of his textbooks. The thin hardcover made a slapping sound as it hit the linoleum.

Stooping to the ground, Craig patiently took over Tweek's attempts at putting his things away, handing the shivering boy his thermos to hold as he worked. His long fingers were so much swifter than Tweek's, so much more precise in what he was doing. Twitching as he clutched at his thermos, Tweek watched with wide eyes as Craig finished packing his back in half the time it would have taken Tweek to do it.

In response to Tweek's earlier statement, Craig calmly said, "Probably," before handing Tweek his backpack. Shouldering it, Tweek shot to his feet and bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for the second it took Craig to straighten.  _Oh man, I wish it could be the end of the day right now!_

As they both started towards the door, Mr. Garrison called, "Craig Tucker? If you wouldn't mind, I'd like a word with you." Turning around towards the man, middle finger already raised, Craig stared at the teacher, who simply glared at said, "You'll be out to lunch in a moment."

Looking between them, Tweek stared at Craig nervously for a moment before the boy waved him towards the door and said, "I'll be there in a moment. Wait for me outside?"  _Go out there without Craig? Oh Jesus!_ Feeling nervous, but unwilling to let it show, Tweek put on a brave face and nodded jerkily before hurrying from the room, closing the door behind him.

Without Craig, the hallway seemed ten times more claustrophobic, but Tweek managed not to get trampled as he scrambled towards his locker. Keeping his eyes peeled for anyone who might try to cause trouble for him, Tweek wondered where Clyde and Token were as he crouched over the lock on his locker and shakily put in the code. They were probably in the cafeteria with Cartman and Kenny, which made Tweek's face twitch into a frown. He didn't particularly want to deal with Cartman without Craig around, and besides, the Noirette had told him to go outside and wait for him, so that's where Tweek would go.

Depositing his bag, Tweek shut his locker door and allowed the swell of children to push him towards the playground outside. The chill of late autumn hit him and he shivered slightly, from the cold before he managed to fumble his thermos open and take several sips of the still hot coffee inside. Eyes darting over the playground, to the group of Elves that had started gathering on one side and then to the group of Humans that typically congregated in the other corner, Tweek chose to head for the Merry-go-round, the most familiar of any territory.

Sitting down on it, Tweek tried to stretch his short legs to kick himself around but as always, he had trouble getting up any speed. With one hand wrapped around his thermos and the other holding on tightly, Tweek managed to spin himself in a circle, enjoying the free, sailing feeling he got whenever he spun around on the thing. Of course, he liked it better when Craig did it but Craig wasn't there at that moment so he'd make do.

Looking up at the sky, Tweek twitched and let various memories filter through his thoughts. They were nothing but snippets, conversation and moments of time, but they all sort of formed a picture. Recalling small smiles, hands in his hair and Craig's hat on his head, Tweek found himself smiling. Despite the drama that he'd been put through, he'd never been happier in his life than he had been this past month with Craig. He'd always thought that he was nothing but a freak, but now, he was able to believe that despite being a freak, he was capable of so much more.

Suddenly, the gentle spinning of the Merry-go-round stopped, jerking Tweek to a halt and nearly sending his head into the bar. "AUGH!" Twitching, Tweek watched as his thermos tumbled out of his hand and to the ground below. Throwing his head around, Tweek's eyes widened when he saw who had stopped the Merry-go-round.

The boy was tall, taller than even Craig by a good bit. Looking him over, Tweek realized it was because he wasn't a fellow fourth-grader.  _OH JESUS, WHY IS THERE A SIXTH-GRADER HERE?! WHAT DID I DO?!_  Shaking, Tweek could do nothing as the boy glared at him and slowly spun the equipment around, bringing the blond closer the angry looking boy.

Before he could scramble away, the sixth-grader seized him by the collar of his improperly buttoned shirt and dragged him off of the Merry-go-round. Powerless, Tweek twitched violently and let out a screech of terror as the boy holding him shook him roughly. "Where the hell is your fuckbuddy, fourthy?" Unable to understand what the boy was saying, Tweek just trembled and let out a cry of pain when he was tossed to the ground.

"GHA- I-I- I don't kn-know what you're –ngh- talking about!" Tweek screeched, scrambling back over the ground as the sixth-grader advanced on him.  _Oh god, what does he want from me?! What's going on? Where is Craig!?_  Unable to get out of the way in time, Tweek couldn't avoid the boot the taller boy planted squarely in his ribs, kicking him a few inches over the ground.

Groaning, Tweek curled up and cringed as the boy snapped, "I asked you a fucking question twerp! Where's your boyfriend?"  _WHAT?! I don't have a boyfriend? Why would I have a boyfriend? Why is he hurting me? What did I ever do to him?!_  Twitching, Tweek whimpered as the boy got in his face. "Is there something wrong with your ears? Why won't you fucking answer me?!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Tweek shrieked, covering his head with his arms, fear clouding his brain. It had been a long time since someone had hurt him; since Craig had started hanging out with him actually.  _This is why I don't hang out at the playground!_  The sixth-grader, apparently fed up with Tweek's inability to answer him to what he felt like was a sufficient standard, dragged him upright by his shoulder, forcing Tweek to cooperate.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, fag!" the boy snarled, even as Tweek twitched and whimpered, his panic skyrocketing as he tried and failed to get away. "Your little Thief friend made me look like a fucking fool on Saturday and I'm going to beat the shit out of him for it! So where the fuck is he?!"

 _HE'S TALKING ABOUT CRAIG!? OH JESUS!_  Tweek shook his head wildly, not wanting to tell this kid where he was. The sixth-grader towered over him, his fist raised, but Tweek refused to tell him where Craig was.  _IF I TELL HIM, HE'LLL KILL CRAIG! I CAN'T LET HIM KILL CRAIG, THEN WHAT WOULD WE DO!?_  "N-No!" Tweek squeaked, even though his knees were knocking together and images of him lying somewhere in a ditch kept flashing through his mind. "I w-won't tell you!"

"Yes, you will!" Pain flashed through Tweek's mind as the boy's fist connected with his face, sending him sprawling. His cheek throbbed and when he coughed, he saw blood. Tweek wanted to scream for help, but as luck would have it, the Merry-go-round happened to be the one secluded place in the whole playground.  _And besides, who would listen if I called? Only Craig and Craig's not even here!_  Tweek could feel complete and utter defeat welling up in his mind and it quickly swamped any and all ideas of fighting back. Because he couldn't fight back, he wasn't strong enough, he'd never been strong enough.

"If you don't tell me," the boy warned, leering horribly at Tweek. "Then I'll just hurt you instead. That'll teach that Thief not to mess with someone like me again. I don't care if it is a game!" Trying to scramble to his feet, Tweek caught sight of his thermos in the corner of his eyes and wondered if he could use it as a weapon to defend himself. Before he could act on the idea, however, he was being dragged to his feet once more.

"Is that how you want to play it, huh? Think I won't get him later?" Face inches from Tweek's the boy snarled, "I'll get your boyfriend too, you can't protect him, you're just a shitty little fourthy who thinks-" Whatever Tweek did or didn't think, the blond would never know, because it was at that moment that a blue blur streaked at the corner of his eyes and the sixth-grader let go of Tweek as he stumbled back. In the confusion, Tweek's knees gave way, sending him tumbling to the ground.

"What the hell-" the boy started, rubbing his jaw and looking for who had punched him. Then his eyes focused and narrowed as he found who'd hit him. Tweek, meanwhile, stared up with undisguised wonder at the towering, strong form of Craig. The boy had his fists balled and his eyes narrowed in anger, all of it directed at the sixth-grader, who didn't look the least bit scared.

"Don't you fucking touch him," Craig growled, not an ounce of fear or apprehension in those dark eyes. Whereas usually, they were bright and full of life, Craig's eyes looked like nothing but twin black holes, soulless and furious. Feeling a shiver run through him, Tweek let out a soft whimper at the sight. He couldn't help it, Craig looked downright terrifying as he stared down the sixth-grader.

Chuckling, the sixth-grader straightened and said, "Well lookie here, the other fag has arrived to protect his little boyfriend." Advancing towards Craig, a frightening grin on his face, the boy said, "You're just the Thief I wanted to see!" Without a second's warning, he struck, his fist aimed for Craig's face.

Tweek screamed as Craig sidestepped swiftly and his own fist connected with the boy's shoulder. Looking very much like a bear flicking a flea off of him, the sixth-grader simply turned and threw his weight into Craig, who stumbled backward, nowhere near as heavy or strong as the boy he was fighting. "You think you can stop me from hurting you?!" the boy demanded, advancing on Craig. "You're fucking dead fourthy!"

"I never said I was going to stop you from hurting me," Craig said in that cold, soulless, and furious voice that Tweek had only ever heard when he'd seen the Noirette beat up Cartman. "I said I was going to stop you from hurting Tweek!" Quick as a snake, Craig darted back in and landed several punches to the boy's stomach, which drove the air from the sixth-grader's lungs.

"OHMYGODCRAIGWATCHOUT!" Tweek shrieked suddenly, seeing the strike before it connected. With far more force than he'd used with Tweek, the sixth-grader landed a blow to the side of Craig's face, which hit his nose. Tweek could see the blood coming from Craig's nose even from where he was huddled, hiding. As if the blow hadn't even affected him, Craig simply wiped the blood off his face and jumped back at the boy.

Craig was much faster than the sixth-grader. Throwing his weight against the other boy, Craig managed to kick out one of the boy's legs, making him roar like the bear he appeared to be as he stumbled backward. "You piece of shit!" the boy yelled, swinging for Craig, who dodged each strike by the skin of his teeth.

Drawing back his fist once more, Craig managed to land a hit on the boy's face, growling as he did so, "You're the piece of shit." Whimpering, Tweek backed up till he was pressed against the Merry-go-round. He just wanted the fighting to stop, he didn't want Craig to get any more hurt than he already was.  _Stop defending me and run! Why are you doing this?! He's going to kill you!_

As the boy pulled back his fist to hit Craig once more, the Noirette darted in and caught the boy's groin with his foot. When the boy doubled over, his face nothing but pain, Craig delivered a swift knee to the solar plexus, once more leaving the boy gasping for air and curled on the ground. Standing over him, Craig breathed heavily for a moment, wiping the blood from his nose as he did so. "Fucking serves you right," he muttered voice still dark and coated in rage.

Tweek couldn't help the small sound of fear that escaped him. Spinning around instantly, Craig's entire face changed as he hurried over to Tweek, all his own injuries forgotten as he stooped to the ground and crawled closer to the blond, who was shaking and twitching in fear as he watched Craig advance. Looking down at the blond in a helpless sort of way, Craig's hand traced the air over the side of Tweek's face where he'd been hit. Unable to help himself, Tweek jerked away from Craig's hand, his mind still in panic mode.

Looking devastated, if only with his eyes, Craig muttered, "I- I'm not going to hurt you," as if he thought that Tweek believed he would. Balling up his fists, Tweek uncurled himself and just let his head thunk against Craig's collarbone, allowing the boy's presence to finally start to calm down his thundering heart and his frantic mind. Freezing under Tweek, Craig gently lifted his hand and put it in Tweek's hair, slowly stroking it.

Hearing a groan from behind them, Tweek let out a shiver and an, "Ack!" of remaining fear. Eyes flickering behind them, Craig quickly helped Tweek to his feet and moved away from the Merry-go-round, pulling the blond with him. Grabbing Tweek's thermos from where it had fallen, Craig wrapped an arm around Tweek's shoulder and pulled him towards the school, entirely ignoring the kids who had witnessed the fight and were now staring at them with wide eyes.

Huddling against the Noirette's side, Tweek felt the urge to cry hit him and he clung to Craig's coat instead, shivering as he saw blood from the boy's nose drip onto it. "Fucking asshole," Craig muttered mutinously, opening the doors of the school for them and hurrying Tweek inside. "He's the Elf I fought on Saturday, I didn't think he'd try to get revenge like that. Piece of shit should be kicked from the game."

As he was pulled towards the Nurse's office, Tweek shivered and choked back a whimper as his cheek throbbed. "W-why would you do something like that?!" he demanded, his throat protesting his high-pitched words. When Craig pushed open the door to the Nurse's office, Tweek shivered, but no one was inside. Not caring, Craig threw on the lights and pushed Tweek onto one of the cots in the corner.

"Because someone fucking had to," Craig growled, his gaze darkening, his mind no doubt going to the sixth-grader once more. "No one is allowed to touch you,  _no one."_  Shivering, hating how dark Craig's eyes got when he talked like that, Tweek pulled on Craig's shirt helplessly and whimpered. As if he was being dragged back from the edge, Craig's eyes cleared and he looked down at Tweek, concern making his brows furrow.

"B-but you shouldn't have done that," Tweek insisted, his eyes wide and pleading. He could feel his ribs aching from where the boy had kicked him, but he ignored it in favor of trying to get his point across to Craig. "W-what if –ghn- h-he comes after you later?! What if he hurts you even worse? Jesus man, I can't handle that!"

Eyes softening, Craig's hand reached around and wove itself into Tweek's hair. Dragging the boy's head forward until it was pressed into his stomach, Craig rumbled, "I don't care if he comes after me later,  _no one_  is allowed to push you around." As Tweek's twitching started to slow, just because of the sound of Craig's voice and the hand in his hair, the Noirette continued, "Not Cartman, not fucking sixth-graders, not Stan or Kyle or Kenny."

Craig was silent for a moment before adding, "Not even me." Twitching in surprise at that, Tweek struggled to look up at Craig so he could see the boy's face. Looking down at him seriously, with the blood under his nose drying and his impossibly blue eyes fierce, Craig repeated, "No one is allowed to push you around, you're Tweek fucking Tweak and that means you don't deserve to take shit from anyone."

Biting his bottom lip to keep it from trembling, Tweek nodded firmly, unable to speak without breaking down into tears.  _No, Craig's right, I don't have to take shit from anyone! I'm Tweek Tweak and I'm stronger than that!_  Even though his body hurt and he felt pathetic, Tweek sat up straighter and held his head high.

Looking proud, Craig's face flattened out into its usual deadpan as he simply ruffled Tweek's hair, calming and peaceful in his familiar task. "I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner," the tall boy said, his tone even, yet regretful by the same token. "I shouldn't have let you get hurt at all."

Softly, Tweek muttered, "As long as you come –ngh- I don't care how late you are. I just d-don't want to be alone again."

Looking down at Tweek, Craig softly said, "I already told you, you aren't alone anymore."

And Tweek believed him. Because it was Craig and because it was all he wanted to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehehe, you think Craig's going to get away with that? Oh, you poor child.
> 
> SO I ALMOST FORGOT *i'm such a horrible piece of trash* BUT TWEEKADDICT DID ANOTHER PIECE OF ART FOR THE CHAPTER BEFORE LAST AND OMG!!! https://tweekaddict.tumblr.com/post/168696599569/an-early-christmas-gift-for-teamalphaq-i-had-to <\-- Seriously, you need to see it. It's the bit where Craig tells Tweek that he'd notice if he vanished and it killed me. YOU PEOPLE ARE BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU!!!


	37. Natural Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA I DID IT!
> 
> *giggles* I have to go to the DMV but before I go, I shall leave you with this gem. Look at me, updating like I used to. Why, I'm almost not a piece of trash.
> 
> Also, OMG OMG OMG!!! I was talking to Jinclair yesterday about the chapter where Craig put his hat on Tweek's head and I commented that it would be the best Christmas present ever if someone drew that scene. I was totally being silly but like an HOUR LATER THEY COME BACK AND SAY THEY DID SOME DOODLES AND OKAY, THESE ARE NOT DOODLES THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL. -->https://imgur.com/a/hBEdZ Seriously, you need to look at these things.
> 
> I'm trash, I don't deserve this.
> 
> Enjoy.

 

**_[Dude, where r u? We've been in the cafeteria waiting for u.]_ **

_[Im in the nurses office.]_

**_[OMG CRAIG ARE YOU OKAY?]_ **

_[Some 6_ _th_ _grader beat up Tweek. What do you think?]_

**_[IM BRINGING TOKEN HOLD ON]_ **

Slipping his phone into his pocket, Craig went back to filling the plastic bag he'd found with ice. Tweek was still sitting on the cot in the corner, sipping at his coffee shakily while he watched Craig with wide eyes. Just seeing that expression made guilt clench at Craig's gut. The bruise under Tweek's eye was starting to swell, stretching the coffee-stained skin as it went red and angry.  _Goddamnit, I should have been there._

Sealing the bag, Craig grabbed for one of those thin towels the nurse had lying around and wrapped it up. "Here," he said shortly, trading Tweek his thermos for the towel wrapped ice. Obediently, Tweek held the thing to his cheek, even while he watched Craig with those bright green eyes. Feeling like he needed to do something with his hands, Craig walked over to the small sink and turned it on, splashing water on his face in an attempt to get rid of some of the blood.

Staring at his reflection in the mirror, Craig felt something uncomfortable rise in his throat. For a moment there, right after he'd put the sixth-grader on the ground, he'd seen the fear in Tweek's eyes, seen the way he'd jerked away from his hand. For someone who was supposed to never be afraid of him again, Tweek seemed to do an awful lot of hiding from Craig.

Clenching his fists around the cracking porcelain of the sink, Craig glared at the soap dispenser like it had insulted his guinea pig. What did they expect him to do? If people hurt Tweek, then he was going to do everything in his power to hurt them back. Tweek didn't deserve to get knocked around, not when he was more likely to attempt to defuse a situation rather than make it worse. He didn't deserve Cartman pushing him around because it was easy, he didn't deserve to get beat up by a sixth-grader just because Craig had humiliated him. It wasn't fair.

_Life isn't fair. The world sucks. Get over it._  Letting out a heavy sigh, Craig released his grip on the sink, even though the blood under his nose wasn't anywhere near gone. _At least he didn't break it. That would have been more trouble than I'm willing to deal with._  Though, if he was honest with himself, a broken nose wouldn't have made a bit of difference, his face still wouldn't be much to look at.

"W-what did Mr. Garrison want?" At the sound of Tweek's soft voice, slightly muffled, probably because of the ice he was holding over his face, Craig turned around quickly. Looking at the curtain partition that hid the boy from his view, Craig took a moment to process the question. "I mean, h-he kept you after class and stuff," Tweek stammered. "Why?"

Though he didn't mean to, Craig's face darkened. "It was nothing," he said in his usual deadpan, as if it really had been nothing. Of course, it hadn't been, Craig was still irritated about the whole thing, mostly because he didn't understand why it was an issue in the first place. Sometimes, he just didn't understand adults and it pissed him off.

After all, why was it so wrong that he and Tweek spent a good portion of class looking at each other? They didn't talk, they weren't being disruptive. Hell, Craig paid more attention now that he was almost in the front and wasn't staring at Tweek  _all_  day, just part of the day. Mr. Garrison had no reason to be telling Craig that his behavior with Tweek was 'weird' or 'potentially inappropriate for school'. He'd been the one to move Craig to the front in the first place so he could keep Tweek calm, that's what Craig was doing, keeping Tweek calm.

But apparently, there was something wrong with that now.  _Fuck him, I'm not going to listen to a teacher about something like this._  No one else in the class gave a shit, Craig wasn't about to believe it was weird. He knew full well that the other kids in the grade were cruel and sadistic whenever they were given the chance to be. If Tweek and he were acting weird, the other kids would be quick to call them out on it.

"B-but then why did it take so long?" Tweek asked, his voice worried and shivery, like he always got when his mind was coming up with any number of horrible possibilities. "Jesus man, he k-kept you in there forever!"  _He did, and that's why Tweek has another bruise on his cheek because someone decided that he was an easy target._  Keeping his face flat, Craig walked around the curtain and into the back where Tweek was still sitting.

"He just wanted to ask about a homework assignment," Craig answered in an entirely flat voice. He knew it was a boldfaced lie, but he also knew that if Tweek got the idea into his head that the teacher was staring at him, he'd freak. Right now, Craig didn't want him to start worrying unnecessarily, he wanted him to stay still and not get hurt anymore. "It's nothing dude."

Nodding slowly, shivering again, Tweek looked absently at the stack of extra cots propped up against the wall and asked, "If it was something, l-like something that I had done, you'd tell me, right?" Jerking his head up so he could look Craig in the eyes plaintively, Tweek squeaked, "B-because, I don't –ngh- want you do get in trouble f-for me."

Drawing in a breath at how accurate Tweek's question had managed to be, Craig was about to try and come up with another bullshit answer when the door of the nurse's office burst open, saving him. "TEACUP!" Nearly slipping and falling on the floor, Clyde raced over to where Tweek and Craig were, a worried look in his eyes. "CRAIGTOLDMEAREYOUOKAY!?" he asked all at once, making Tweek twitch hard and lean back slightly.

Skidding to a stop in front of them, Clyde looked at Craig and his jaw dropped open. "Dude, Craig, what did you do?!" Before Craig could answer, Clyde's attention turned back to Tweek, who he hugged, albeit gently. "Sixth-graders are the worst Tweek, they seriously suck. It's okay, I heard that someone got sent home, I bet it was him, especially if Craig fought him."

"You did fight him, right?" Turning, Craig found Token making his way around the nurse's desk and towards the back at a much more sedated pace. Looking Craig up and down, Token sighed and grabbed a handful of those single-use towelettes off of one of the cabinets. Before Craig could answer one way or another, Token added, "Your knuckles are bruised."

Sighing, Craig allowed Token to rip open the little packages and wipe up the blood that had spilled down his chin. "He hurt Tweek," Craig answered stiffly, which only made Token raise an eyebrow and open another towelette. "It was over the fucking game, he's one of Kyle's Elves."

"I'm aware," Token answered, finally getting rid of the blood under Craig's nose. Feeling very much like a small child and not liking it, Craig snatched the disinfectant wipes and finished cleaning himself up. With his hands now free, the black boy crossed his arms and looked up at Craig. He wasn't too terribly short, probably around four foot seven, but it was enough of a difference that he had to tilt his head back.

"What?" Craig asked flatly, tossing the bloodied towelettes into the trash. There was probably still blood on his face and he knew that there was a bruise on the side of his face, but he didn't much care. "He fucking deserved it Toke, he-"

"I'm  _aware,"_  Token repeated, still not sounding any more impressed. Glancing over at Tweek, the boy's posture relaxed as he calmly asked, "How are you feeling Tweek?" Disgruntled, Craig stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared at the ground, his brows furrowed.

"I'm okay!" Tweek answered instantly, moving the ice from his cheek. "He only hit me a few times. M-my ribs are a bit sore and –grr- my shoulder hurts, but I'll be fine." He twitched violently and asked, "D-did he really get sent home?"

"As far as I can tell," Token answered, looking him over. "Have you had anything for lunch?" When Tweek shook his head, Token reached into the lunch bag Craig hadn't even realized he'd brought and drew out a sandwich. "Eat something then."

"How do you not eat?!" Clyde asked, his eyes wide. "I'd get so hungry!" Helping Tweek unwrap the plastic wrap around the sandwich, the boy bounced on the cot and said, "I bet Craig looked super cool beating up that sixth-grader! He's really strong, isn't he? He once hit a kid that was making fun of the fact that my mom died, Craig's the best."

Remembering the incident Clyde was talking about, Craig huffed out a bit of air and tugged on the edge of his chullo. "Piece of shit deserved it," he commented flatly. Noticing Token still watching him, Craig let out a sigh and said, "What."

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Token asked, his expression betraying nothing. When Craig didn't respond, he said, "Wonderful." Glancing at Clyde and Tweek, the black boy offered the two of them a smile before grabbing Craig's arm and all but dragging him away from the other two kids. Shaking Token off, Craig followed the boy to the doorway and stood so that he could still see Tweek, who was giggling at something that Clyde was saying.

"What were you thinking?" Token asked it as a question, but he said it like he already knew the answer. Looking at the boy, Craig raised an eyebrow but didn't answer. Sighing, Token rubbed his temples. "Craig, you can't do this every time someone hurts Tweek."  _The fuck? Really? Again with this shit?_

"Why not?" Craig asked, keeping his voice flat and his gaze steady. He didn't actually care what Token's answer was because it didn't matter. Whatever happened, he would stand up for Tweek. No one else did, obviously, so he had to. It wasn't a question of whether he could or couldn't, it was a question of when and where he'd have to do it again.

It was probably a good thing that he didn't expect an answer, because Token didn't give one. Staring at Craig in that unnerving way of his, Token slowly said, "You understand that you're not going to get away with this." Not a question, just a statement. "You're going to be lucky if they don't suspend you."

"I was defending Tweek," Craig answered stubbornly, his eyes wandering once more to Tweek, who had fallen over into Clyde's lap where he was giggling helplessly as the boy above him told him an animated story that had him grinning as well. Feeling something curling in his gut, Craig told Token, "They won't suspend me for something like that."

"Craig, apart from one sixth-grader, who is currently suspended might I add, you get into the most fights of anyone in this school." Token said it like he'd personally been keeping a tally of the matter. "You're going to get detention at least."

Furrowing his brows, Craig said, "So?" He knew that he should care more, but he really didn't. Tweek was safe, that was what mattered. Remembering the battle they were supposed to fight after school, Craig hissed through his teeth as he realized what Token was trying to say. "Shit," he muttered, tugging at the brim of his hat.  _It'll be fine, Tweek can fight on his own if he has to._

Token was silent for a moment, probably letting the consequences of Craig's actions finally sink in, then he spoke, his tone calm. "Craig, someday, you might not be there for Tweek." Before Craig could challenge him, Token help up a hand. "If you keep doing this, Tweek will never learn how to stand up for himself. People are mean Craig, you and I both know that."

"So what are you telling me to do?" Craig demanded, his voice getting louder if not angrier. He hated it when Token said shit like this, that someday he might not be able to protect Tweek. He'd protected the boy from everyone he could so far, and as long as he was alive, he'd continue to do the same. But Token was just staring at him like he should have already figured out the answer.

"You've been doing a good job of giving Tweek some level of confidence," Token said at last, looking away from Craig and glancing out into the empty hallway. "Keep doing that Craig, otherwise, he'll find himself entirely dependent on you."

Craig was about to ask what the hell that was supposed to mean when there was a crackling sound over the PA and Mr. Mackey's voice came through. "Um, If Tweek Tweak and Craig Tucker could both please come to the councilor's office, m'kay? Yes, Tweek and Craig, please report to the councilor's office immediately." As the announcement died, Token pointed at the ceiling and raised his eyebrows.

From the cot, Tweek screeched and there was the sound of the ice towel falling to the floor. "OH JESUS, W-WHAT DO THEY WANT ME FOR!?" Instantly forgetting Token, Craig quickly walked over to the boy and grabbed his thermos, pushing it into his hands. Shaking, Tweek looked between Clyde and Craig, his eyes filled with fear. "What did I do!?"

"It's probably something stupid," Craig commented, helping Tweek to his feet carefully, watchful for any unsteadiness in his legs.  _Fuck, Token was right. But why do they want Tweek, it was my fault._ Allowing Tweek to grab his hand, Craig flipped both Token and Clyde off and said, "Thanks for coming down," before walking through the Nurse's office, careful not to drag Tweek after him.

"Don't get into trouble Teacup!" Clyde called after them, to which Tweek let out a scream in return, which was as good as an answer honestly. Ignoring his friends, Craig kept walking, his mind a cloud of irritation. He knew why he was getting called but Tweek hadn't done anything wrong, which is why he was so annoyed.  _Fuck them all._

"D-do you think you're going to get expelled?" Tweek asked Craig in a hushed voice, shaking at the thought. There was fear in those green eyes, an expression that Craig hated to see on Tweek's face.  _Goddamnit, why is it that if I'm not scaring Tweek personally, I'm making him worry?_

Sparing a moment to ruffle Tweek's hair till the boy calmed down, Craig evenly said, "They won't expel me over this." Turning down another hallway, Craig avoided making eye contact with the few students that they passed, who were all staring at him, probably because there was blood down his coat and he'd just been called to Mr. Mackey's office. Ignoring all of them, Craig turned another corner and walked to the councilor's office door, dropping Tweek's hand at last. "We'll be fine," he told Tweek as firmly as he could, before opening the door.

"Mm, Tweek? Craig?" Looking at them, Mr. Mackey gestured at the two chairs he'd pulled up to his desk before saying, "If you'll sit down, m'kay? I need to talk to you about the incident at lunch." As Craig gently guided Tweek forward before taking a seat in the chair closest to the door, Mr. Mackey folded his hands on his desk and gave them both severe looks.

"Now, I understand there was a fight outside on the playground today, yes?" When Tweek just let out a soft squawk and Craig gave him a bored look, Mr. Mackey sighed in irritation. "Look here, this is a very serious matter, m'kay? N-now I know it seems easier to solve your problems with your fists, but that's not how it works in the real world. You can't be fighting like this!"

Lifting his chin, Craig easily said, "He started it." Tweek let out a whimper of fear at that and twitched hard. He was staring up at Mr. Mackey, his green eyes wide and frightened. Pushing down the thing inside him that always seemed to rise up when he saw Tweek upset, Craig focused on staring at the counselor. "It's not our fault."

"Craig Tucker," Mr. Mackey said, looking more than a little annoyed. "You have a history of getting into altercations with other students, m'kay? So excuse me if I have a little trouble believing that. I have people who saw this fight happen and they were very clear saying you threw the first punch."

"He hurt Tweek first," Craig told the man, unwavering in his gaze. He wasn't going to let anyone tell him that he couldn't protect the blond, fuck all of them. He was sick and tired of being told he couldn't do things like that. But Mr. Mackey wasn't listening, he was just glaring at Craig sternly.

"I'm sorry, but that's no reason to go beating people up. If Mr. Tweak here had a problem, he should have come and got an adult, m'kay? Not rely on you to fight this other boy off." Turning his gaze on Tweek, Mr. Mackey said, "And don't think that you get out of this just because the other boy attacked you first, fighting is not the answer."

"OH JESUS! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Tweek exploded, his trembling increasing by tenfold. As his grip became unsteady, his thermos dropped to the ground, clanging against the floor. Grabbing for his hair, Tweek shook his head and yelled, "HE STARTED HITTING ME AND I –NGH- DIDN'T DO ANYTHING HEWASTOOSTRONGOHGODDON'TKILLME!"

Attention instantly switching to Tweek, Craig stooped to the ground and grabbed the boy's thermos. Kneeling before Tweek's chair, Craig carefully shushed the boy, putting the thermos in Tweek's hands before stroking his hair till he stopped shaking. As Tweek looked at him with still fearful eyes, Craig turned to Mr. Mackey and said, "Tweek didn't hit anyone, I did."

"S-so you're admitting to being violent!" the man announced, pointing a finger at Craig. "See Craig, this is why you have so many problems. You always use violence first, even though violence doesn't help anyone." Getting to his feet, Craig stood in front of Tweek, blocking the shaking boy from Mr. Mackey's view. He could feel the boy's hand tugging on the back of his coat and it filled him with more determination than he'd already had.

"Yeah, he was hurting Tweek, so I hurt him back," Craig said firmly, lifting his chin.

Getting angry at Craig's defiance, Mr. Mackey said, "You are getting an hour of detention today, m'kay! Now I wasn't going to give you anything but this is disrespectful Craig Tucker. I am  _sick_  and tired of you hitting people and thinking you can get away with it." Without letting a single emotion cross his face, Craig lifted up his middle finger in response to Mr. Mackey's declaration.

"Did you just flip me off?!" the man demanded, angry.

Lowering his finger, Craig easily said, "No."

"That's it, get out of my office. I will see you after school, m'kay?" Huffing, Mr. Mackey crossed his arms and muttered something about disruptive children under his breath. Completely fine with leaving, Craig helped Tweek to his feet and started towards the door before the councilor said, "No, Tweek, you stay here, m'kay? I still need a private word with you."

Feeling Tweek pull his hand out of Craig's grip, the Noirette turned around to look at him and found Tweek giving him a brave look. "I'll be fine," Tweek insisted, twitching horribly but still holding his chin high.

"I'll be outside the door," Craig said instantly, hiding any and all anger behind his usual mask of calm. Leaving the room, Craig leaned against the wall and let out a huff of air.  _Fuck, now I won't be able to help in the battle._  The moment Tweek put two and two together; he was going to freak out. From inside the room, Craig could hear Tweek let out a scream and it made his expression darken. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he stared at the ceiling and forced calm. No, everything was going to be fine. Tweek was plenty strong; he'd be able to lead the other boys just fine.

There was the sound of something crashing from inside the office and Craig clenched his teeth together. Whatever Mr. Mackey had needed to say to Tweek was clearly freaking him out. Resisting the urge to push his way in and calm Tweek down, Craig forced himself to take slow, even breaths.  _I'm going to have to tell Cartman that I won't be able to fight today. Shit, he won't be happy._

From inside the room, he heard Tweek shriek,  _"OH JESUS, AUGH! WHY WOULD I DO THAT?!"_  Holding back any number of things he wanted to do, Craig remembered what Token had said and felt his stomach turn slowly. Maybe the boy had a point, no matter how little Craig wanted to acknowledge that he did. Perhaps teaching Tweek to be more independent was the right answer.

Suddenly, the door beside him banged open and Tweek all but fell into the hallway. Not bothering to close the door behind him, Tweek scrambled to keep his thermos in his grip as he stared at Craig. Looking down at the blond, Craig tried to convey as much calm as he could with his eyes. Shaking diminishing, Tweek grabbed Craig's hand and started pulling him away from the councilor's office as fast as he could.

"What did he want?" Craig asked, stopping Tweek from going any further once they were standing in the hallway that held the doors to the cafeteria. Shaking, Tweek shook his head for a moment, muttering under his breath something about aliens and monsters. Sighing, Craig wrapped an arm around Tweek's shoulder and waited for the boy to calm down.

"H-he said that I shouldn't –ngh- hang out with you because you were a bad influence!" Tweek squeaked, squeezing his eyes shut tight and putting his head down. "I told him no! I don't care!" Feeling something in his chest swell, Craig squashed the feeling by ruffling Tweek's hair and starting them down the hallway.

"I'm glad," he said, focusing on walking to the cafeteria. He really was glad, he didn't like the idea of Tweek running away from him because he was a bad influence. So what if he beat people up, he only did it when he had a good reason, or at least, he only did it now if he had a good reason. That was no cause for Mr. Mackey to be telling Tweek shit about who he could and couldn't hang out with.

"B-but that's not important!" Tweek suddenly shrieked his eyes full of panic even though his shaking didn't get much worse. "You have detention! Now what do we do about the battle!?"

Shrugging, Craig pushed his way into the cafeteria, letting his arm fall from its position around Tweek's shoulders. "Tell Cartman I guess." Walking into the room, not stopping Tweek from latching onto his sleeve, Craig quickly picked out the table where Cartman, Butters, Kenny, Token, and Clyde all sat at and headed for it.

Noticing him, Cartman's eyes narrowed. Before the fat boy could open his mouth, Craig drew up before the table and said flatly, "I can't take part in the battle today." Tweek let out a squeak from behind Craig and the boy had to fight the instinct to put his arm around the boy's shoulders.

"Why not?" Cartman demanded, his mouth turning down in anger. "What's the meaning of this Feldspar?" It was clear he was angry, but Craig didn't flinch. After dealing with that sixth-grader, there was nothing Cartman could do to intimidate him in the slightest. Even so, Craig worried about Tweek freaking out and so he attempted to temper his response.

"I got detention," he told Cartman calmly, shifting on his feet and shoving one of his hands into his pocket. "I can't fight today. Tweek can lead, but I can't."

Turning to the other people at the table, Cartman glanced at Kenny, who raised an eyebrow and said, "Well Fucker, thanks for fucking things up. I guess we'll have to discuss our options." Looking to Tweek, who shivered, Kenny said, "I hope you're prepared to lead an army Tweekers."

"If that's all?" When no one spoke, Craig nodded once. Turning around stiffly, the Noirette pulled Tweek away from the table, not willing to deal with any of their bullshit. Tweek hurried along behind him, keeping close to his side until they'd left the cafeteria. The moment they'd left, Craig turned to Tweek, who was shivering.

"You can do it, you know that, right?" Craig said, his voice firm.

Shivering, Tweek nodded but didn't say a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know it was super long. I'm sorry, I couldn't stop myself. I needed to get through a lot of information in a very short amount of time.
> 
> I might post really really really late tomorrow because I'll be in the car all day, but the moment I get wifi, I'll upload a chapter. So yeah, to anyone you usually stays up, don't. It won't be till like really late.


	38. With You, For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! We've stopped at a reststop and I'm posting from their shitty wifi!
> 
> So in the spirit of Christmas, I've elected to set up a little thing. Basically, for every piece of fan art I receive between now and Christmas, I'll write an extra chapter and post it on Christmas day. Two people have already chipped in (Jinclair, Tweekaddict, you're both beautiful creatures) so there will be three chapters coming out on Christmas day, but you can make it more~!
> 
> Haha, I'm sort of shameless. But hey, doesn't that sound like a good trade?
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek felt miserable.

His eyes were downcast at his paper, but they weren't seeing anything. All he could feel was unbearable exhaustion. Even his twitching was subdued, nothing but a slight tremble. He was pretty sure that Craig had noticed that something was wrong, but he doubted the boy knew how to help him at this moment. And anyway, it was thanks to Craig that he was freaking out at all.

 _Why did he have to protect me? Why did he have to get detention? Why did Mr. Mackey say that he was unhealthy? I don't get it! I can't deal with this!_  "Ngh-" Shaking, Tweek stared at his pencil, which trembled in his grip. Tightening his fingers, he felt helpless as it only shook harder. He'd already dealt with too much today, he needed a break. Or better yet, he needed Craig to not have detention.  _Oh, Jesus, I have to lead an army all on my own. What if they don't listen to me? What if I get them all killed? I can't handle it!_

As if that wasn't enough, his thermos was empty.

"AUGH! IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" he suddenly screeched, smacking his head on the desk hard enough to see stars. As his cheek and forehead throbbed against the cool surface of the desk, he felt warm fingers tangle in his wild hair, slowly dragging some of the helplessness out of him. Turning his head to the side, Tweek looked up at Craig, who wasn't even looking at him. The boy was focused on his paper as though nothing was wrong. Heck, Tweek wasn't sure if Craig even cared about the whole thing at all.

 _He said I could do it!_  That's what one side of his mind kept telling him, insisting it as loudly as possible. But the rest of him kept thinking  _but what if I fail?_  Leaning into Craig's hand, which was inexplicably calming, just like everything else about the taller boy, Tweek let out a soft whimper and wished that the end of class would never come. That way, he wouldn't have to face the Elves on his own.

Craig drew his fingers together in Tweek's mane and pulled lightly, tugging on his hair in a much more kind way than Tweek did to himself. Letting the pleasant sensation draw the tension out of his shoulders, Tweek slumped against his desk. Unbidden the memory of Mr. Mackey leaning over his desk with a concerned expression on his face invaded Tweek's mind.

 _Now Tweek, I-I understand that Craig has been being a big help to you, keeping you calm and such, and I don't want to ignore that, m'kay? But he also has a history of being very violent, and as your counselor, I don't want to see you get caught up in that._  What was that even supposed to mean? Tweek still didn't know. His whole brain hurt from thinking about it. Mr. Mackey had seemed so reasonable as he'd said it, but it had been all wrong. Craig wasn't a bad person, he just sometimes got upset. But he wouldn't hurt Tweek, the blond knew that, no matter how scared he could be in any given moment around Craig.

But Mr. Mackey hadn't seen it that way, had he?  _Tweek, I'm not allowed to share all of his information with you, because that's private, but Craig is dangerous. If you keep hanging out with him, he might take advantage of you, m'kay?_  It was so stupid! Tweek didn't get it, didn't want to get it. Shivering, Tweek wished he could reach up and grab the hand that Craig had probably forgotten was still in his hair. The Noirette wouldn't take advantage of him, Tweek was pretty sure Craig didn't know how. That was the kind of thing that Cartman did, not Tweek's closest friend.

Why then had Mr. Mackey been so unreasonable about the whole thing?  _I understand your judgment is clouded, but what's stopping Craig from hurting you someday, m'kay? The two of you have already gotten into one altercation and I don't want any of my students to get hurt. You should try to play with kids who are better for you, m'kay?_  Tweek hadn't liked that, in fact, the blond had hated it. The Councilor had always seemed so good about these kinds of things, but the fact of the matter was, he didn't know a thing.

Why would Tweek ever be afraid of someone who cared for his Guinea pigs like they were his world and who talked about Outer Space like he could grab it and trap it in a jar for Tweek to hold? Tweek would never be afraid of someone like that, not now, not when he got older and things changed. Craig meant everything to him, Mr. Mackey didn't get it at all.  _Or maybe he does and you're just being ridiculous…_  Frustrated, Tweek suddenly jerked upright, running his hands through his hair in an attempt to keep from tearing it out. He didn't want to hear that kind of thing in his head right now!

Suddenly, something poked his back and Tweek leaped about a mile. "ACK! I DIDN'T DO IT!" No one even looked at him. Feeling the same thing poke him, Tweek turned around rapidly to find Butters trying to give him something. Looking down at the piece of paper in the boy's hand, Tweek felt fear race through him.  _Jesus! I can't pass notes in class! That's so dangerous!_  But when Butters kept offering it to him, Tweek grabbed it quickly, just so the boy would sit back down properly.

Turning back around, Tweek stared up at Mr. Garrison to make sure that he wasn't looking at him before scrambling to unfold the note. Tweek could feel Craig's curious eyes on him and it made him shiver as he looked at the piece of notebook paper that already had a lot written on it then crossed out. Finding the one thing that was still legible, Tweek squinted at the page.

**_Hey Tweekers, do you know if_ ** **_Fu_ ** **_Tucker has his costume at school with him?_ **

Able to feel Kenny's eyes on him, Tweek let out a soft, "Oh god…" before gripping his pencil tightly and writing  _Yeah, he does,_  at the bottom of the note. Folding it back up, Tweek swiveled in his seat, all but slammed the note back on Butters desk, and then shrieked as he noticed Mr. Garrison looking his way.  _OH GOD, HE SAW AND NOW HE'S GOING TO SEND ME TO DETENTION AS WELL!_

Craig's hand went for Tweek's thermos. When he shook it and found it empty, his hand went instead to Tweek's hair, patting his head lightly, calming him down. As Mr. Garrison returned to his lecture, Tweek looked sideways at Craig, whose eyes were already on him. They were worried, and Tweek hated that he'd made the taller boy worry, but at the same time, he was glad that Craig cared enough  _to_  worry. Most people wouldn't have, not when it was Tweek and the blond was such a spaz.

Letting out a soft whimper, Tweek bit his lip hard and forced his breathing to even out. Once Craig turned back to his paper, the blond whipped around just in time to see Butters offering him the note again. Grabbing it, more quietly this time, Tweek quickly unfolded and squinted at the bottom.

**_Tell him to get dressed in his costume after class. You too. We'll explain later._ **

Shoving the note over to Craig, Tweek stared down at his paper, twitching. He wasn't sure what Kenny had planned, but he knew it had to be something if he wanted both he and Craig to have their costumes on.  _Probably something to do with the game. But why would he want Craig to be dressed as well? He's got detention! Did they forget? What's going on!?_

Suddenly, the bell rang and Tweek let out a scream. As everyone around them got up and started putting their things away, Tweek looked for Kenny, but the boy was already gone. Looking over at Craig, the blond squeaked and asked, "What was that about!?" Pulling on his hair with one hand, Tweek murmured, "This is so much pressure, w-why does Kenny do things like this?"

"It's Kenny, what do you expect?" Waiting for Tweek to put his things away, Craig grabbed the boy's thermos and stood there silently. Tweek didn't know how he could be so calm about the whole thing when Kenny was being cryptic and not explaining a thing, but the blond tried to copy him by not freaking out about the thing. It was a lot harder than it looked.

Thankfully, Craig was ready to grab Tweek's hand the moment the boy had his stuff together and the pressure of the Noirette's hand around his did calm the blonde's nerves somewhat. Following Craig out of the classroom, Tweek just stuck as close to him as possible as they went through their usual routine of going first to his locker then to Craig's. After they'd both grabbed the bags they had their costumes in, Tweek allowed himself to be pulled by Craig down a different hallway.

"D-do you think they have a plan?" Tweek asked, the moment they were out of the main press of students. Shrugging, Craig blew out a breath as he turned another corner. "I m-mean, would they have told you to put on your costume if they didn't have a plan?" Stumbling along, Tweek stared up at Craig, who seemed to be looking for something.

"Just because McCormick has a plan doesn't mean it's going to be a good one," Craig muttered flatly, before finding the door he was looking for and pushing his way in. When Tweek looked around in confusion, having no idea where they were, the taller boy pulled Tweek against him with an arm around his shoulder.

Suddenly noticing the cluster of teachers all staring at them, Tweek let out a scream that he muffled behind the hand that he slapped over his own mouth.  _WHAT ARE WE DOING IN THE TEACHER BREAK ROOM!?_  Tugging insistently on Craig's shirt, an action which the taller boy ignored, Tweek whimpered loudly.  _Oh god, we're not supposed to be in here! What are we doing in here?!_

Staring at the teachers, Craig flipped them all off before walking over to the counter. As all the adults in the room made some sort of protesting sound and Tweek twitched violently and covered his ears in fear, Craig simply put the blonde's thermos on the counter and grabbed for the coffee pot. "Hey!" called Mr. Adler, huffing as he stomped over to them. "Stop screwing around! What do you think you're doing?!"

As Tweek cowered against his side, Craig looked up at the man and calmly answered, "Tweek ran out of coffee," before turning back to his task of emptying the pot into Tweek's thermos. As he dragged the sugar and creamer over, Craig leveled some of each into the silver container while simultaneously ignoring Mr. Adler's protests and claims that they weren't supposed to be in there. Handing the fresh coffee down to Tweek, Craig flipped the man off again and said, "We were just leaving."

"Hey! Did you just flip me off again?!" The man demanded.

"I already have detention," Craig answered flatly before guiding the terrified Tweek out of the room.

"Jesus man, why d-did you do that?!" Tweek demanded, even as he sipped at the coffee that Craig had quickly prepared. It wasn't that bad, he was impressed. Though really, considering how closely the taller boy seemed to pay attention when Tweek made coffee, the blond wasn't surprised. Closing his thermos, Tweek insisted, "Y-you're gonna get in so much –ghn- trouble!"

"You needed more coffee," Craig told Tweek as if this had been obvious and he didn't understand why Tweek was asking questions.  _I needed coffee?! What kind of answer is that? What if the teachers lock him in detention forever and I never see him again?!_ When Tweek twitched hard, the Noirette sighed and put a hand in Tweek's hair. "Cartman wouldn't have let you have any of his coffee. I'm just making sure you have some."

Wanting to still be upset but unable to fight the swelling in his chest, Tweek shivered and said, "W-whatever, let's just get changed." Hurrying towards the boy's bathroom, which was blessedly empty, Tweek looked at the clock and let out a strangled sound. "JESUS MAN! YOU HAVE TO GET TO DETENTION!"

"I'll be on time," Craig insisted, quickly stripping out of his clothes without bothering to hide. Noticing a weird, dark purple bruise traveling up Craig's back, Tweek let out a whimper.  _Oh god, did the sixth-grader give him that? Why didn't I notice? But it looks old. Why does Craig always get hurt?!_  Pulling on his gray pants, Craig turned around and said, "Come on, get dressed."

Hurrying to comply, Tweek started stripping off his own clothing. His side was still painful, but it hadn't bruised yet, for which he was grateful. His shoulder, however, had angry marks on it from where the sixth-grader had grabbed him. Whimpering, Tweek pulled on his pants and boots, struggling to hook the belt and all its weaponry around his shoulder and waist. Craig was already dressed, the only things he was missing were his gloves and his chinstrap.

"I wish you hadn't gotten detention," Tweek said, waiting patiently as Craig grabbed the bottle of war paint out of Tweek's bag and got to work renewing the stripes on Tweek's body. Closing his eyes obediently, Tweek continued, "I mean, h-he did start it!"

"Mr. Mackey doesn't care," Craig told Tweek flatly, his fingers dragging over Tweek's skin with expert precision.  _But shouldn't he care that I got hurt? Isn't that his job!? Why is it he only does his job sometimes, why can't he do it all the time? Why are all the adults in this place so useless?!_  Curling his fingers into fists, Tweek stayed quiet as Craig fixed the stripes on his throat.

Abruptly, there was a return of noise as the door of the bathroom banged open and the sound of Clyde's excited voice filled the room. "TEACUP, THEY'RE LOOKING FOR YOU OUT ON THE PLAYGROUND!"  _Jesus, who's they!?_ When Tweek let out a squawk, Clyde changed the subject and asked, "Craig, why aren't you in detention right now? Aren't you going to get in trouble?"

"I'm helping Tweek," Craig explained. Feeing Craig fixing the stripes on his arms, Tweek opened his eyes and looked at the Noirette and his intense level of concentration as he carefully redid the blonde's war paint. "What's going on with the battle?"

"Oh don't worry, it's still going to happen," Clyde informed Craig happily. Looking at the grin on the brunette's face, Tweek let out a yelp. Looking to him, Clyde half-laughed, half cackled. "Come on Tweek, don't you have any faith in us? We're not going to send you out on a losing battle, that would be stupid. No, we've got something much better up our sleeves. Which is good, cause you don't have any." Laughing at his own joke, Clyde insisted, "Seriously though, you don't want to get in any more trouble Craig."

"I know that idiot." The moment Craig straightened, Clyde caught both Tweek and him in an excited hug. "Fuck off Clyde," Craig grumbled, holding the stain above his head so it didn't get anywhere. Tweek just struggled to get away, worried about getting coffee all over Clyde.  _Oh god, what's going on?! No one is making any sense!_

"This is going to be great, you're not going to regret it," Clyde insisted, grabbing Tweek's arm and pulling him out of the bathroom. Before he could be lugged away, Craig grabbed Tweek's thermos and handed it to the blond before he was pulled towards the door. Watching Craig disappear behind him as Clyde all but dragged him away, Tweek twitched hard but resigned himself to going with whatever Clyde had planned. "I'm telling you Teacup, you're going to go down in history for this one. I can't wait!"

Smiling tentatively at the other boy's enthusiasm, Tweek trotted to keep up, as all the while possibilities filled his mind. "But why did Craig have to get dressed? I –grr- s-still don't understand!" Twisting his head around to look at Tweek, Clyde only tugged him along faster. The brunette was always confusing to Tweek, he was used to Craig's silent and calm way of going about things. Clyde was all over the place and eternally excited.  _Still, I'm glad he's my friend._

"You're going to understand in a moment!" Dragging him outside, Clyde pulled him over to the corner of the playground. Keeping one hand tightly wound around his thermos, Tweek followed the boy as he was finally let go of then pushed into the bushes.  _OH JESUS, WHAT'S GOING ON!?_

When he looked up, however, Tweek's eyes widened when he found the group of soldiers he was supposed to lead today, as well as Cartman and Kenny, who was dressed in his princess regalia. Eyes moving over each of the boys before him, Tweek twitched hard and looked over at Cartman, who had a smug expression on his face. "W-what's going on?!" Tweek squeaked, his eyes wide.

"What kind of question is that Tweekers?" Princess Kenny asked, moving forward and throwing an arm around Tweek's shoulder. "This is the group of people you're going to be leading today." Glancing at them, Tweek squeaked when they all offered some version of a smile.  _All of them?! But why are they here? We're going to be fighting on the other side of South Park! What do they think they're doing?!_

Stepping forward, Cartman leaned on his staff and said, in a slow drawl, "Tweek, loyal warrior of Zaron, we have a major battle today and I will not allow the Elves to cripple us by taking away one of my most talented up and coming soldiers." Grinning, even though on him it looked evil, Cartman finished, "That's why, Tweek, we're going to take him back."

"What are you talking about?!" Tweek yelped, his eyes flicking back and forth between the group of soldiers, Kenny, and Cartman. "Craig's in d-detention! We can't do anything about that, he's going to be there for an hour and the battle is going to start in, like forty-five minutes!"  _They aren't making any sense, why did Craig have to get dressed? Why are they all looking at me like this?! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_

Just as he was about to let out a scream, Daniel stepped forward, his Jew staff already in his hand. "Don't you get it Tweek?" When Tweek just looked at his fellow fourth-grader and shook his head helplessly, the boy sighed and said, "We're going to break him out."

"Break who out!?" Tweek screeched, shaking his head. "I don't understand!"

"Tweek." Turning to look at Clyde, who was grinning from ear to ear and had shining eyes. "You're going to break Craig out. You and your warriors are going to break Craig out of detention and then you're all going to fight against the Elves together!"

Eyes widening, Tweek started to shake. Throwing Kenny's arm off of him, the blond threw his arms wide and exclaimed, "BUT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT!"  _Why do they want to do something like that!?_  He'd never even thought of doing something so stupid but the other kids were all looking at him expectantly as if he were supposed to be excited about this. "We're going to get in so much trouble!"

Putting his hands behind his back, Cartman let out a sigh. "Tweek, when you joined the warriors of Kupa Keep, you joined with the understanding that sometimes, you were going to be asked to do dangerous things. This is no different. They have locked Feldspar in the deepest dungeons, right within the lair of the Ginge scourge, those pale freckled bastards that prowl its corridors. It won't be easy, freeing him, but for the sake of Kupa Keep, you must."

Twitching, Tweek looked at the boys, all of them in turn, struggling to find something to catch onto that would push him forward. As if answering his call, there were the sounds of muffled footsteps from behind him. Turning, Tweek found the familiar mirage of Craig standing there, hands in his pockets, pencil hanging from between his lips.

 _Come on Tweek,_  Mental Craig said, picking the pencil from between his lips so he could fix Tweek with a flat, calm expression.  _Are you going to let them down, or are you going to show me the Tweek that can do anything?_  Feeling a swell of courage rise from within him at the words, Tweek clenched his hands and turned towards the people watching him, waiting for his decision.

"Warriors!" Tweek announced, drawing his short sword and rising it above his head. In the scant light streaming through the leaves of the trees surrounding them, the blade shone. "Today, we are going to show those adults that they cannot treat us unfairly by taking our Thief!"

As those gathered let out a cheer, Tweek stared at the sky and exclaimed, "Now let's show them what we're made of and rescue Craig!" Looking satisfied, Kenny nodded proudly and Cartman gave him a smug smirk. With a happy cheer, Clyde wrapped his arms around Tweek and this time the blond didn't struggle at all.

Because all he was focused on was the imagined feeling of Craig ruffling his hair and the calm words,  _Give them hell, my brave Barbarian._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now you know. Hey, it's entirely canonical, after all, they did say that there had been a first time they rescued Craig from detention.
> 
> So, I've got a little question and I'm curious to see who will answer it. What's the one ship that makes you feel weird? It doesn't have to be your notp, but it can be. Any fandom, any ship, I'm simply curious. Personally, the ship that makes me feel weird is Cartman/Kenny, simply because it feels like one of those instances where you have a group of four people and just because you ship two of them, the other two must be together.
> 
> Enough of my rambles though XD


	39. Locked and Keyed In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I got a lot of answers!! *is very excited* I loved hearing about all of those things. Honestly, most of the ships you guys brought up were other ones that I’ve always wrinkled my nose at. I mean, I hate being picky, but some people just shouldn’t be shipped together.
> 
> So yeah, I'm writing this yesterday technically, but never fear, I also wrote two more chapters today because DAFTYPHUN DID A PIECE OF FAN ART AHHHH!!!
> 
> Okay, but seriously, this thing is beautiful and I’m crying. I find it funny that the chapter that I felt was the most filleryish totally captured all of you. Seriously, check it out à https://daftyphun.tumblr.com/post/168807204239/okay-yall-gotta-go-read-semantically It’s beautiful.
> 
> So yeah, you’re up to three extra chapters~!
> 
> Enjoy.

Rolling his pencil around between his lips, Craig stared at the clock, bored yet still on edge. He had a feeling something was going to happen, why else would Kenny want him in his costume. Still, the boy wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. After all, it was kind of weird being the only one with wooden knives strapped to his belt and a cloak on.

Even though there were several other kids in detention with him, Mr. Mackey's full attention was on Craig. His brows were furrowed in suspicion and he kept tapping the desk with a finger, like he was trying to be intimidating. If he was, he was failing miserably. Although considering what Craig had been forced to deal with that day, maybe he wasn't the best judge of what was scary and what wasn't.

Forcing back the nigh-uncontrollable urge to flip the man off, Craig shifted his attention to the clock. If Tweek was indeed headed for the forest, he should be halfway across town by now. Remembering how well he'd done in the forest the day before, Craig almost found a smile creeping onto his face. Despite Tweek scaring him by almost falling, he'd done spectacularly. Granted the Trees on that side of South Park were pretty easy to climb, but he'd still performed better than Craig would have anticipated.

Now that his mind had found this particular groove to travel along, the Noirette found himself thinking about the other parts of that day. He had an image in his head, one of Tweek ahead and above him, silhouetted in the sun that always seemed to set too early. Backlit as Tweek had been, Craig hadn't been able to see his features, but he had seen the outline of a fierce Barbarian, one who could do anything. In the light, he'd looked like one of the stars that Craig knew so well, glowing and bright and full to bursting with power.

It was a shame he wouldn't be able to see that today. No, today he was stuck in here with Mr. Mackey and a host of other students he could care less about. Snorting, Craig rolled his pencil between his teeth, listening to the soft  _clack clack clack_  it made against the enamel. Narrowing his eyes at him, as if this was somehow suspicious, Mr. Mackey slowly reached over for his Walkie Talky.

"Hall monitors, yes, how's everything looking down there? Anything suspicious?" Rolling his eyes at how seriously the Counselor took his job, Craig slowly let his head slip off of his hand till it  _thunked_ against the tabletop. Looking at the seat beside him, Craig imagined Tweek was sitting there and felt marginally less bored. After all, it was easy to picture Tweek in his usual combination of rumpled jeans and awkwardly buttoned shirt, twitching and glancing his way every few seconds as if to make sure he was still there.

 _"Everything looks good here Mr. Mackey,"_  one of the Hall monitors responded, his voice sounding crackly through the speaker.  _"Don't know why you're worried about it, but no one is breaking in today."_   _Click, clack, click._  Craig's pencil left faint squiggly trails of graffiti behind it as he constructed an image of Tweek to keep him company.  _Soft, wild, blond hair, perfect for running your hands through... Big dark circles, because he never sleeps at night, there are too many monsters…_

"M'kay, well keep looking," Mr. Mackey said slowly, still staring at Craig as if expecting the boy to jump up and run away. "We wouldn't want anything happening, would we?"

"If you're talking to me, I have no idea what's going on either," Craig called lazily, letting out a breath of air. In his mind's eye, he could see his imagined version of Tweek freak out and scream because  _why would you talk to a teacher like that man?_  Of course, then he'd pat the boy's head and he'd calm down. His pinched expression would soften, and his eyes would take on some of that childlike innocence that made them so wide and expressive.

"I wasn't talking to you Craig, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey said contemptibly, narrowing his eyes further, which basically left him looking like he was squinting at the Noirette. "Unless I should be talking to you. Is there something you'd like to tell me, Craig?" Sucking in his cheek, Craig straightened his head, looking over at Mr. Mackey.

"Yeah, you're an ass." He put his head back down then, literally unable to give less of a shit. It was true after all, Mr. Mackey and his stupid ideas of who was and wasn't at fault and who Tweek could and couldn't hang out with could all collectively drop dead. Of course, the Counselor didn't feel the same.

"Craig Tucker do I need to make this two hour's detention?" he demanded, his brows furrowing and shooting up at the same time, an impressive feat to be honest. "Because I can and will, m'kay. You're only hurting yourself." Wanting to say more, just to piss Mr. Mackey off further, Craig started to open his mouth, but then he thought of Tweek, probably preparing for battle right now and terrified without him and the Noirette shut his mouth again.

"Mmm, that's what I thought," Mr. Mackey said, crossing his arms and leaning back.

From the Walkie Talky, there was a burst of static, which drew the Counselor's attention off of Craig for a moment as he grabbed the device.  _"Um, Mr. Mackey, don't want to alarm you or anything but the doors that lead into the gym are unlocked."_  The Hall monitor's words drew Craig's attention, if only minutely. He didn't particularly care, but anything was better than sitting here bored for the next hour.

"Hmmm," Mr. Mackey turned another glare at Craig, who just gave him a bored look in return as if to say  _you expect me to know why every fucking thing in this place happens?_  As if able to read Craig's expression, at least somewhat, the man slowly said, "Well, I don't think there's anything to worry about just yet, m'kay. Just, uh, lock the doors for now and see what happens, got that?"

 _"Yes sir,"_  the boy on the other end said, followed the sounds of footsteps. It was this, of all things, that drew Craig's attention. Though not many people would have been able to pick up on it, after every step the Hall monitor took, there was the slightly off-kilter sound of another step. It could have been an echo, but Craig knew that gait well enough to know it wasn't.

_What the fuck is Tweek doing in the school?_

_"Okay sir, the doors are locked- Hey, what are you doing in here?!"_  Craig's eyes widened as there was a growl and then the sound of someone falling to the ground. Straightening in his seat, Craig strained to pick out the tell-tale sounds of Tweek motherfucking Tweak, who had somehow broken into the school and had just knocked out a Hall monitor.

Mr. Mackey stared at his Walkie Talky in horror as on the other end Tweek let out a screech before exclaiming,  _"Oh Jesus! I think I killed him! H-he's not playing the game, he doesn't know the rules, what do I do?!"_

Struggling to pull himself out of his daze, Mr. Mackey suddenly barked, "All Hall monitors to the gym, m'kay? There appear to be intruders. I want them taken care of right now, m'kay? I don't want them to get away!"

Forgetting his own safety for a moment, Craig leaned forward and called out, "Tweek, if you can hear me, they're after you!"

 _"Craig!"_  the boy yelped, his voice sounding static coming through the Walkie Talky.

"Now listen here young man," Mr. Mackey said, sounding frustrated. "This is exactly what I was talking about! You are letting bad influences get the best of you! I want you to put down your weapons and not fight, m'kay? This doesn't have to get any worse."

 _"Shit, Tweek, we're about to have company. Don't listen to him, kill the connection."_  At the sound of Terry's voice, Craig suddenly understood what was going on.  _They're all here to break me out, aren't they?_  Suddenly feeling something in him lift, Craig clenched his fists and stared at the Walkie Talky like it was Tweek himself.

"I'm right here waiting for you, you're going to be fine." Mr. Mackey looked angry, but there wasn't much he could do to stop Craig. As the sounds of footsteps rushed by the cafeteria, the Noirette prayed he was right and let himself settle once more. There was a sudden burst of static and then all they could hear were the sounds of the other boys running.

"Goddamnit!" Glaring at Craig, Mr. Mackey pointed a finger at him and said, "Craig Tucker, I can not believe you. This is  _not_  appropriate behavior, m'kay? This detention is a punishment, you are not getting out of here, I don't care how many of your little friends are coming. You are being very foolish and this is having a bad influence on Tweek, m'kay?" He seemed to have forgotten there were other kids in the room, who were all staring at them in slack-jawed wonder.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Craig raised an eyebrow and deadpanned, "You have no idea what Tweek needs." He could hear the sounds of fighting coming through the Walkey Talky, probably because Mr. Mackey didn't know how to turn it off, but he ignored them. He wasn't sure when he became an expert on what Tweek did or didn't need, but Craig sure as hell knew more than Mr. Mackey ever would.

"He doesn't need you leading him into things like this!" Mr. Mackey insisted, thumping his desk. "You are a bad influence, m'kay, and I don't think that you know what Mr. Tweek needs either! Last I remember Craig, you were beating him up. What makes you think that you know better than I do?"

Feeling frustration well up inside him, Craig leaned forward and said, "Because unlike you, I happen to care." Though he didn't really register it, the moment he'd said the word, something in his mind slid into place. Because even though Craig didn't care about anything, even though he'd never thought it through or put it into words, he cared about Tweek. Of all the people he knew, of all the people he tolerated, of all the people he even mildly enjoyed, Tweek was different because Craig didn't just tolerate or enjoy or even like him, he  _cared_  and that changed  _everything._

But neither he nor Mr. Mackey fully understood what a revelation this was because it was at that moment that through the Walkie Talky, someone yelled,  _"Sir, they got away from us! They're headed for you now. We'll try to have the rest of our officers head them off!"_  Distracted from his conversation with Craig, Mr. Mackey picked up the device.

"How many did we lose?" he demanded, holding the thing tightly enough to make it squeak. "Damnit, you Hall monitors are useless! There's a reason I keep you around, m'kay and I need you to do your job for once and catch these people." Craig clenched his desk, his eyes fixed on a spot above Mr. Mackey's head.  _Come on Tweek; don't let it get to you. Fight!_

 _"We lost seven,"_  another voice reported, his voice fading in and out as he ran. Craig wished that he could hear Tweek's voice, just to make sure that the boy was still okay, but he had no way of making the boy understand that.  _"We've managed to head them off at the gate; we should be able to make them take the long way around."_

Mr. Mackey let out a string of words that didn't even sound like cursing but probably were to him. "This shouldn't be hard, why are they getting so many of you?"  _That's because you're dealing with a Barbarian and his band of warriors. You have no idea what's coming._  Turning in his seat, Craig stared at the cafeteria door, listening as he heard the sounds of fighting coming from outside.  _He's doing fine, I know he is. I believe in him._

 _"You don't understand Mr. Mackey!"_  The Walkie Talky crackled as no doubt another one was destroyed.  _"They've all got swords and bows and magic! One of them has a frying pan even! They're monsters, I'm telling you."_  Feeling a swell of pride at that, Craig couldn't help the flash of a grin that lit his eyes up.

 _"It's not a –ngh- frying pan!"_  Tweek suddenly exclaimed, his voice coming through the speakers, bringing Craig's head back around to the front.  _"It's a club!"_  There were the sounds of yelling for a moment, and Craig was pretty sure he could hear several other voices in the mix, but a moment later, there was another crackle and Tweek exclaimed,  _"Craig, th-they closed off the hallway! There's so many of them! We've got to get t-to the forest man!"_

"You're doing fine dude," Craig said evenly, not letting any of the emotions inside him show in his voice. Picturing Tweek in front of him, which his worried face and pot clutched in his small hands, Craig closed his eyes and said, "Come on, I know you can do this. They don't know how to handle you. Just go the long way around. They'll be waiting for you but-"

"I won't have you two talking!" Mr. Mackey interrupted, trying to take charge. "Craig, you are in detention and Tweek, you are going to be in detention as well as soon as I tell Principal Victoria about this, m'kay? You are both in big trouble and I want this to stop instantly." Swallowing back his desire to just get to his feet and leave the cafeteria by force, Craig firmly repeated in his mind,  _Don't let him get to you, Tweek, don't let him scare you._

 _"Then let our Thief go,"_  a different voice said calmly. Recognizing William, Craig ground his teeth but didn't say anything. Just because he wanted to talk to Tweek didn't mean he had to.  _"We don't want any more trouble than you do Mr. Mackey, but this is unreasonable."_  Mr. Mackey made a sound of protest at that, as if offended that anyone would call him unreasonable.

"I am not being unreasonable, m'kay? Craig broke the rules and now he's sitting out his time in detention. Now I want you all to  _stop_  playing this silly game and put down your weapons." Mr. Mackey looked like he wanted to strangle Craig, for which Craig honestly didn't blame him. "All of you are going to get detention if this continues!"

 _"Then –grr- give us detention!"_ Tweek suddenly exclaimed, his voice loud like he was holding the Walkie Talky to his mouth.  _"We don't c-care! We're gonna come and get Craig, just try and stop us!"_ There were the sounds of cheering before this Walkie Talky too went dead. Feeling his spirits soaring, Craig feigned calm by lacing his fingers behind his head and leaning back, staring at Mr. Mackey, who was practically pulsing with rage.

"All Hall monitors, stop them!" Mr. Mackey yelled, his spectacles slipping down his face. "I want them in this detention hall right now, m'kay? All of them! They are going to join Craig and finish his detention because I have had it with this nonsense, m'kay?" Pushing his glasses back up his nose, Mr. Mackey added, "And don't think you're getting away with anything Craig, I know you told them to come here and I won't tolerate that!"

Spreading his hands wide, Craig said, "I never told them to do anything. Tweek does what he wants." It was true, and Craig was distinctly glad that it was. He knew what Token had said earlier, about how he was going to end up entirely taking over Tweek's life, and he knew that this was proof it wasn't true. Tweek could do things on his own, hell, he could do anything. Maybe it took a bit more pushing than other people but he did it and he did it better than anyone else could ever hope to do it. Craig believed that; he believed in Tweek.

"Do you think I'm going to believe that Craig Tucker?!" Mr. Mackey demanded, planting his hands on his table. "Tweek Tweak used to be a wonderful boy who didn't do anything wrong, m'kay, and you ruined that. Sure there were a few incidents but those were accidents. You are ruining his life and you refuse to acknowledge it!"

"Of course I do," Craig answered back flatly, his voice rising in volume as the sounds of fighting got louder. Above the din, he could hear Tweek's screams of frustration and possibly fear as he fought and it made Craig's inside's clench. "Because it isn't true. Tweek needs help and no one else is going to give it to him. He wasn't wonderful, he was a wreck."

"So that's what this is then," Mr. Mackey asked, frustrated. "Some sort of attempt to fix him? Well, guess what Craig, you can't just fix people, m'kay? And you're too young to be trying anyway. If you think he needs help, you need to tell the proper people, not go off and make him join a cult or whatever you've done." Almost letting out a laugh of disbelief, Craig rolled his eyes and stared at Mr. Mackey like he was an idiot.

"It's called roleplaying," Craig informed the man, his eyes level. "And I don't care what you think. Tweek doesn't need fixing. He's a wreck, sure, but that's the way I like him." It sounded insane, even to Craig's ears, but it was so entirely true. He loved to see Tweek stand up for himself and fight, but it was that twitchy, spastic and wild personality that had drawn him to Tweek. It was those wide green eyes and that wild blond hair, it was the way he screamed about aliens and the way he hit his head on the desk when it was too much. Craig had never even thought about fixing Tweek, he just thought that as long as he could make it easier for the boy, then everything would be alright.

Before Mr. Mackey could respond, the doors to the cafeteria burst open and Tweek leaped in, his pan raised and his green eyes as vivid and full of life as ever. Behind him, the other boys they were supposed to be leading together came spilling into the room, their various weapons raised. Instantly, Craig was on his feet and walking over towards Tweek, who grinned from ear to ear when he saw him and yelled, "GRR- CRAIG!"

"Don't you do it, Craig Tucker!" Mr. Mackey said, his voice raised in warning. "I am going to get so upset if you do this, I will call your parents!" Even though that gave him a moment's pause, there really was no choice. Drawing one of his wooden knives, Craig stood beside Tweek and took the boy's free hand in his own, hiding the action behind his cloak.

Lifting the middle finger of the hand that held his knife, Craig said, "Mr. Mackey, fuck you." Feeling an unbridled sense of satisfaction at that, Craig turned around, letting Tweek draw ahead of him and lead.

"Curse you, I'll get you, m'kay!" Mr. Mackey yelled after them as they ran out of the cafeteria and down the halls full of unconscious or hurt Hall monitors. Several of their soldiers let out whoops of triumph and Tweek laughed, his eyes dancing with pride and joy. Craig thought, as far as he could, that the expression looked good on the boy.

"D-did you get the keys, Russell?" Tweek asked, twitching as he did so. With a laugh, the fourth-grader held up a keyring, jingling them as he did so. Nodding, the boy said, "Then let's get out of here, we have a b-battle to win!" As he spoke, his fingers tightened around Craig's, his excitement palpable.

While Russell and Daniel ran ahead to unlock the doors, Craig looked down at Tweek and raised his eyebrows. "So this is what they were planning." His tone was flat, but it still managed to convey the emotions he wanted it too. Looking up at him, shivering as he did so, Tweek tilted his chin up in an expression Craig recognized as pride.

"Yeah! I wasn't going to do it –ngh- at first, but then I did and it was easy!" Practically bouncing, Tweek exclaimed, "Two p-people could have taken them all down, but it was more fun with everyone else." Craig marveled at how happy Tweek was and reflected that the boy must have been ignoring what Mr. Mackey had promised about them getting in trouble for this. That or he'd honestly figured out how to make himself not care.

"Mr. Mackey thought I was behind it," Craig told Tweek, unsure if he was warning the boy or just telling him. Ahead of them, Russell struggled to get the front doors of the school open while Daniel helped. Tweek's attention, however, didn't waver from Craig's face. "He thinks I'm ruining you."

"Yeah," Tweek confirmed, the shadow of worry crossing his face before it vanished once more. Vibrating where he stood, Tweek continued, "I mean, I –ghn- h-heard most of it over the Walkie Talkies. We all heard you! I put together most of what you guys said towards the end." The lock of the doors finally gave way and Russell let out a cheer as they opened the doors.

Allowing their fighters to stream out first, Craig and Tweek followed them at a more sedate pace. "Am I?" Craig asked before he could stop himself. He didn't mean to ask it, after all, he knew it was ridiculous. That being said, it slipped out anyway. As soon as he'd said it, Tweek gave a particularly hard twitch and he stared at Craig, a fierce look in his eyes.

"No way man!" Tweek insisted, shaking Craig's arm as he vibrated. "You're not a bad influence at all." Biting his lip suddenly, as if trying to figure out how to phrase something, Tweek pulled a face and asked, in a slightly nervous tone, "W-were you being serious? Ngh- W-when you said that you liked me the way I am? B-because Mr. Mackey is right, I'm a wr-wreck." He said it like he half expected Craig to leave him right then and there, which made Craig's gut clench.

Unable to even begin to show those emotions properly, Craig just flatly said, "Nah dude, you're the right kind of fucked up." Cringing slightly inside because he hadn't meant it to come out like that, Craig was surprised to hear Tweek laugh almost bitterly and squeeze his hand hard.

"Y-you're the right kind of –Rrr- fucked up too," Tweek said, his voice changing slightly, becoming more serious and less excited. His eyes were firm as the strength in them blew Craig away. "We'll both be messes together." Something in Craig's heart cried out at that, and though he wouldn't remember it after that day, he knew that Tweek's words had resonated with him. Because it was different than someone tolerating him or putting up with his problems, this was Tweek, and Tweek was willing to be troubled with him. Craig hadn't known that he needed it, but the moment Tweek said it, he realized that he'd never be able to exist without it again.

Though he knew he probably shouldn't, the Noirette made sure none of their fighters were looking at them before reaching over and ruffling Tweek's soft hair. Blue eyes softening, Craig evenly said, "I'm proud of you."

A twitch, a grin, and with it all, impossibly green eyes. "I know!" Tweek squeaked, his eyes blazing with life. Turning to the rest of the boys, Tweek yelled, "Now, let's go beat those Drow Elves!" Around them, their warriors cheered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it was long but I couldn't stop myself! *is very sorry*
> 
> So I've got a new question for y'all and I hope I'll get some answers again. How many of you out there would consider seeing Tweek get hurt just so Craig can take care of him one of your favorite things? Do you like it, or does it make you feel angsty inside? Does it make you feel angsty and you like it anyway?
> 
> I just noticed that AussieDollVA has started a cult around Injured!Tweek and Caring!Craig and I was curious as to how many of you people are joining XD
> 
> I'm done, I'm done…


	40. Cut Me Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, I have to write two more chapters today and I'm not even mad. THERE'S SO MUCH FAN ART UGHHHH!!! You guys are seriously going to love the stuff that's coming, like wow, Tweek and Craig have got some crazy emotional arcs they're going to be following soon.
> 
> But going back to the subject of fan art, No1sKing94 did an adorable piece of Tweek and Craig leaving the school hand in hand and UGH ITS SO AMAZING!!! 
> 
> https://imaginarylasers.tumblr.com/post/168843157259/for-one-of-my-fav-creek-fics-semantically <\-- Seriously, you need to check it out. This is why you're going to be getting six chapters on Christmas instead of just five XD Omg, that sounds ridiculous now that I say it out loud.
> 
> In other news, there's apparently a cult now surrounding these two babies getting hurt and Craig showing his soft side. I regret to inform you that the next few chapters are kind of all about Craig getting hurt but pshhh, you didn't hear anything.
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek's heart was racing fast enough that he could hear it in his ears. It was a constant thrumming, the battle drums that he'd been hearing all day manifest in full. He didn't know if it had to do with the battleground he'd just left or the fight yet to come, all he knew was that he was ready for it.

Turning his head to the side, he saw Craig, just as he'd known he would. The Thief was moving more steadily than Tweek, but at a similar pace. His long strides matched Tweek's quick ones easily, and his cloak fluttered behind him as he moved. Though he had no idea what exactly was going on inside of Craig's mind, he could guess.  _He's probably excited about the fight too. After all, we did just rescue him!_

The whole rescue mission had been fun from beginning to end if a little terrifying all the way through. Thanks to Brandon, they'd managed to break in through the back, but the rest had been Tweek, mostly just blundering his way through the whole thing. It was surprising how fast some people went down when you hit them over the head with a club. Thankfully, he'd gotten good enough that he knew he wasn't going to kill anyone, but that was the experience of one battle and one day spent in the trees. Honestly, he wished he had more, but if this is what he was going to get then Tweek wasn't going to complain.

As Craig's cloak rippled up again, Tweek caught sight of the boy's shining chrome blades and shivered with excitement. Fighting the Drow Elves was going to be far better than fighting Hall monitors. For one, he wouldn't be getting detention for putting an Elf on the ground. Wincing internally at the realization that he was facing a whole lot of shit tomorrow, Tweek took comfort in the fact that Craig's hand was still wrapped around his and didn't let himself freak out.

_I fought one battle already, there's nothing these Elves can throw at me that I won't be able to deal with! But what if they do something I don't see coming? What if I get distracted and Craig has to rescue me?! What if Craig gets hurt because of-_

"What are your orders once we get there?" Letting Ryan's voice draw him out of his inevitable downward spiral, Tweek looked up at Craig, who glanced down at him and raised an eyebrow as if to ask  _Well, what are they?_  Suddenly realizing that after breaking Craig out, the other boys were looking to him as the defacto leader, Tweek let out a squawk and scrambled for an answer.

"Just w-what we've been practicing!" Tweek yelped, trying to inject some confidence into his voice and actually succeeding this time. Of course, it was a whole lot easier with Craig's strong, silent presence behind him than it was without. "We've still got ten minutes to get there. C-considering how –ghn- pattered Kyle is, they should stick to their plan!"

From beside him, Craig agreed, "They're probably only just getting into position. It's hardly ideal, but fuck it, we'll still beat their asses." Though his proclamation wasn't quite as positive as Tweek's was, it was still something to rally behind. Feeling more sure of himself with Craig's assessment backing his own, Tweek nodded twitchily.

"Do you think it would be a good idea to fan out before we enter the forest?" Daniel asked from somewhere to Tweek's left. Twitching his head in that direction, Tweek thought about it and wondered what Token would say to it.  _He'd probably like it because it makes sense. But wait, if we're split up it'll be easier for them to gang up on us! What if I send teams of two? But those will be more visible! Oh god, if I make the wrong decision it'll make both me and Craig look bad! I can't make Craig look bad!_

"Spread into the two groups Tweek arranged yesterday," Craig cut in, breaking Tweek's thoughts apart like errant clouds. "You'll know what to do once you're out there." At his words, Tweek relaxed again because he wasn't doing this alone, was he? No, they'd rescued Craig and now he had someone to share the burden of leadership with.

"We'll have the sun in our eyes, won't we?" Jesse asked, drawing up on Tweek's right. At the thought, Tweek growled as he realized this was true. Looking to Craig, Tweek twitched and bit his lip. He hadn't thought of that, and neither had Token. If the boy had, then he hadn't shared. It was definitely a handicap, considering they'd be trying to see into the sun while fighting.

"Then once we've identified the elves, we break into two teams and get people behind them," William suggested from somewhere. The Warrior's idea made perfect sense, and Craig nodded slowly, his face giving away nothing but his eyes saying that he found the idea a good one.

Noticing a problem, Tweek yelped, "M-make sure that you leave more people in front of them!" When Craig looked at him and raised an eyebrow, Tweek said, "So we don't miss any!" As they passed Kupa Keep, Craig nodded and finally let go of Tweek's hand. Though he understood the practicality of it, Tweek mourned its warmth and weight. Craig never failed to leave him grounded, sometimes, he needed that.

But right now, as they moved past the Elven Kingdom and into Princess Kenny's territory, they didn't have time for being grounded. Tweek needed to fly. He wasn't like Craig, with a cloak that fluttered like wings and hair that looked like a raven, Tweek had too much weight, too many things weighing him down. Right now, he needed to escape, to become the Berserker that  _Craig_  believed he could be.

It meant so much more when he thought about it like that.

As they raced past the trash heaps that sat outside of Kenny's house, Daniel caught Tweek's eyes and nodded to both him and Craig before breaking off with the others of his group. Looking to the other group, Tweek made sure to make eye-contact with Jack before both he and Craig slipped around Kenny's garage and split off from the rest of them.

Because Craig and Tweek weren't going to be attacking from the front like the other soldiers were, no, they were attacking from the back.

Logistically speaking, it was a risky move. Tweek had been a little wary of it at first, considering how much better at this the Elves were, but in the end, Craig's coaxing had won him over. Their task was simply to act as mop up, picking off the archers and forcing as many Elves to the ground as possible, where they could be sniped off. Of course, they knew that this wasn't going to be a large force, chances were, there weren't even going to be any healers with this group, but they'd likely be armed to the teeth regardless.

Tweek knew that Craig could do it, just based on the videos he'd seen of the boy attacking the Elven Kingdoms alone, but he also knew from fighting with him that Craig could be every bit as deadly here as he was in everyday life. He had no problem picturing the Noirette completely defeating the Elves, but himself? That was another matter entirely, one that for all intents and purposes was up to chance. Maybe he'd make it, maybe he wouldn't.

As if sensing his uneasiness, Craig turned to him and ruffled his hair. No words were spoken in that small moment, they were too close to the enemy to get away with it, but there didn't need to be words. Tweek knew the look in those eyes, knew it, felt it, believed it. It was the silent trust and absolute certainty that only Craig could possess. Latching onto it, Tweek attempted to banish all uncertainty from his mind as he put one hand on the handle of his club and the other one on his bow.

Nodding, Craig slipped his hand from Tweek's hair before motioning the two of them forward. Twitching, Tweek bit his lip and followed, careful not to make any sounds as he traipsed after Craig through the trees. They were most definitely on enemy territory right now, and the moment they were seen, they would be attacked, but Tweek wasn't scared. He could do this, Craig believed he could.

Keeping his eyes on the path ahead while Craig kept his blue eyes trained on the trees, Tweek searched for the path that the Elves were most likely to take until they came to two trees that he thought looked promising. They'd been marked with Kyle's signet, which meant they were important enough to be picked out from the others. Finding the easy places for grips, Tweek shot Craig one more look before getting a hold on the tree and starting the process of hoisting himself up to the top.

There was an optimum height for these things, a place where the branches were thick enough to walk on but also connected with the other trees around them. It wasn't hard to find this place and start moving out along the trees. Craig vanished from his view and Tweek felt a knot of worry well up in his throat but he pushed it down. If he needed the boy, he'd be there. For now, Tweek had to rely on himself to survive this.

Scanning the trees for Elves, Tweek heard the sound of talking and instantly he hugged the trunk of a tree, unwilling to be caught before he knew what he was facing. "-think that this is the best idea, but I guess if Kyle says it will be then it probably is." Tweek vaguely recognized the voice, it was someone in his grade probably, but he couldn't pull a name out of his head.

"Relax, this is going to be easy. If anything, you should be insulted you got chosen for this mission. They're not going to have time to mount a defense here, whereas they'll probably rally up a fair amount to defend themselves at that poor princess' house." That voice made Tweek straighten suddenly because he knew that voice.  _They sent Chris Donnelly on this mission?! But he's like seven levels ahead of Craig! Oh, Jesus, pressure!_

Unable to help himself, Tweek let out a squeak of terror. The moment it escaped his lips, he felt himself wince.  _Oh god, oh god, oh fuck JESUS!_

"Did you hear that?" Chris asked, his voice hushed yet wary. Tweek didn't blame him, but at the same time, he wanted to scream at him to go away. Biting his hand to keep from whimpering, Tweek forced his twitching limbs to steady and propped himself up against the trunk so he could grab his short sword with his good hand. The sound of steel sliding against leather made him hiss out a few choice words through his teeth.

"Someone's here," the other Elf said. As the sound of rustling leaves got closer, Tweek realized that the battle was about to begin whether he was ready for it or not.  _No, I am ready!_  Yanking his hand away from his mouth, sparing a glance for the war paint that Craig had done just that day, Tweek got a better handhold on the branch above him and readied his sword. _Three, two, OHGODOHJESUSAUGH!_

"GRRRAAAH!" With a yell, Tweek swung out from behind the trunk and swung at the Elf that was closest to him. Catching Chris' sword with his own, Tweek maneuvered through the tree, dodging out of the way of the arrows that were immediately shot at him.

"There's a human over here!" the Archer yelled, alerting probably the whole forest. As the leaves around him rustled, Tweek let out another yell and darted away from Chris Donnelly and the other Elf, drawing them away. His heartbeat started to drown out the sounds around him as Tweek used all the skills he'd learned the day before to barrel straight into the thick of the Elves.

Sheathing his sword in favor of his club, Tweek went in swinging. He felt an arrow strike his back, the pain it caused flaring up. Able to smell the blood, Tweek let out a scream of, "FOR HUMANITY!" before charging a group of two Archers and a Ranger. Swinging wildly, Tweek felt his club connect and he heard the scream of an Elf. Only emboldened by this, he swung again and connected with the shield of the ranger, breaking into pieces.

Suddenly, an Archer came up on his side, catching him on unawares. Tweek was about to attempt to parry when there was a blast of red fire. Looking forward, Tweek grinned as he saw Terry there, casting spells. Focusing on the Ranger he'd been fighting, Tweek dealt a blow to the boy, hard enough to make him stumble. Feeling the blade of another sword bite into the skin of his arm, Tweek let out a roar and turned on the Ranger, dealing the Elf a blow to the ribs.

Seeing Jesse and Russell swinging in from the side with battle cries of their own, Tweek took out the Elven ranger he was fighting with a good hit to the head. The boy's blade had cut him again, but he was still doing fine, the heat of the battle distracting him from the pain. Spinning to deal with the Elf at his back, Tweek's eyes widened when a glowing slingshot hit the Ranger, causing him to slump over the branch he was standing on.

"They're on the ground!" At the sound of Jack's shout, Tweek's eyes trained downwards to find several Rangers and two Archers on the ground, moving beneath them. With a yell, Tweek swung down the branches and took a flying leap downwards, letting gravity do the work for him. Landing on top of one of the Elven Rangers, Tweek took a swing at the next one and blocked several arrows that came flying at him.  _Shit, there were more than we thought!_

Suddenly, Ryan was there, laying into the Archers with his usual dramatic flair. Seeing one of the Rangers aiming a strike at the boy's torso, Tweek jumped in the way, taking the hit himself but dealing back a blow twice as hard. "JESUS CHRIST, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!"

"Come on Elven scum, show us what you've got!" Russell yelled, jumping down to join them. Deciding that they had it handled and needing to make sure that no one had gotten by further down the tree line, Tweek disengaged from the fight. "Go Tweek! Make them suffer!" the Warrior yelled after him.

"GHA!" Tweek screamed back, which was about as much of a response as he could formulate.  _Where's Craig? I haven't seen him in a while!_  The moment the thought had occurred to him, Tweek felt worry begin to trump the rush of the battle. He'd already taken significant damage and he didn't have any idea where his friend had gotten to. Throwing his head around, Tweek raced for the nearest tree and flipped himself up into it, slower now that he'd been injured. Unwilling to call out his name in case he was hiding strategically, Tweek looked for the flash of a yellow puffball as he raced from tree to tree.

 _Oh god, what if they killed him!?_ Feeling his heart twist and his stomach flop, Tweek looked around wildly.  _Jesus, if they killed him, I wouldn't be able to handle it! I can't do this alone, I need Craig with me!_  Feeling his twitching return in full and his shaking get worse as his injured limbs protested him, Tweek forced himself to stop so he could pull the arrow out of his back. Holding back the sound of pain, Tweek reached into the pockets of his pants and pulled out a health potion that Scott had given him the day before.

Scarfing it down, feeling the worst of his injuries heal, Tweek drew a breath and looked for the creek, which he used as a reference point. Leaping through the trees, Tweek's eyes scanned their surroundings, searching for Craig carefully.  _What if he's back with the others? Am I wasting my time?! Oh Jesus, what if they tell Cartman I ran away! Maybe I should go back. But what if Craig's out here! Jesus this is too much!_  Twitching hard, Tweek struggled to keep his breathing even.

Changing tactics, Tweek used a tenuous branchy bridge over the creek and looked around the other side for a fluttering cloak or flashing blades. There was nothing, not even a peep. He could hear the sounds of the battle at his back, but he didn't let himself be distracted. If Craig was out here, then Tweek needed to find him, if only to bring him back to the main fight.

Feeling helpless, Tweek stood on a branch, unable to do a thing but swing his head around like a lost dog. Biting his lip, Tweek had a sudden idea.  _Before, Craig liked to go higher than me because he's not afraid of falling like I am._  Drawing a deep breath, refusing to look at the ground, Tweek grabbed the nearest handhold and hoisted himself higher. He wouldn't be able to go between trees like this, he'd be stuck in one place unless he was willing to drop himself down, but maybe he'd be able to spot Craig.

Keeping a tight hold on the trunk, Tweek fought the feeling of his heart in his throat and looked around, searching for Craig.  _Nothing, he's not here. What do I do what do I do what do I-_  Suddenly, Tweek's eyes caught on something. It was a flash of a blade, nothing more. He couldn't see through the trees, what with the sunlight in his eyes and everything. Frustrated, he dropped down and crossed to the tree that was directly in the direction of the metallic shine.

Climbing upwards again, no more unsteadily than before, Tweek was frustrated when he was once again blocked by branches.  _Damnit, I can't keep doing this._  Looking around, Tweek noticed one of the more unsteady branches would take him into the place he needed to be. For a moment, he refused to do it, his mind rejecting the idea wholly, but something else in him pushed him forward. Biting his lip, Tweek caught ahold of the branch above him and almost let out a squeak as it bowed under his weight.

But then his toes caught on the limb beneath him and Tweek managed to balance on the new perch without falling. His eyes wanted to snap to the ground, but something else caught his eye, something entirely more alarming.  _OH GOD FUCK WHY NOTOOMUCHPRESSURECRAIG!_

The Noirette was bleeding, his whole body looking like it had been carved up like a turkey. Currently, he was pinned to the trunk at his back by a sword, his chest heaving as he breathed heavily. Over him, leering horribly, was the equally injured looking Chris Donnelly. His clothing was stained with his own blood, and it was clear that he was close to passing out, but he was still over Craig and Craig looked weaker.

 _OH GOD, I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!_  Panicking, Tweek started to look for a way down, only to find the yawning maw of the river beneath him, no convenient branches to cross with in sight. Yanking his head back up, Tweek stared at the boys. They were saying something, but he couldn't hear them, not from this distance. Feeling desperate, Tweek felt his breathing growing shallow as his panic increased.

 _NO! I have to stay calm, I have to help Craig._  Looking at his club and his sword, Tweek felt helplessness swamp him. If he couldn't get closer, he couldn't do anything, and Craig was about to be killed if he didn't act. There was no way he'd survive the next hit, Tweek could see it in the boy's eyes.

Staring at him, Tweek saw the absolute determination in Craig's gaze and he honed in on it, forcing himself to focus on it. Suddenly, the answer appeared to him, the weight on his back making it clear.  _But I'll need two hands for that._  Fine, then he needed two hands. Steadying himself, Tweek carefully took a breath and took out his bow, not letting go of the tree until he absolutely had to. With his back to the trunk, much like Craig's back was to his tree, Tweek notched an arrow and shut his eyes. He didn't even bother to aim, it wasn't like it was going to make a difference.

 _I CAN DO THIS!_ Eyes flying open, Tweek let out a feral cry and released the arrow. He couldn't even see its path, all he knew was that one moment Craig was being pinned to the tree and the next moment Chris stumbled back, his eyes growing wide as he stared at the arrow sprouting from his shoulder. Glaring at Tweek, the boy's mouth formed one word before he collapsed over the branch, his body limp.

Looking his way, Craig's eyes widened as he saw Tweek. "Tweek!" he called, his flat voice conveying every bit of relief that Tweek felt. Quickly dropping from where he was standing and swinging to the lower branches, Tweek rushed towards the injured Craig, who moved towards him as well. Reaching for the boy as soon as he was close enough to touch, Tweek grabbed a handful of Craig's tattered cloak just as the Noirette wrapped an arm around the blonde's head.

It was an awkward greeting, which was probably for the best because it gave Tweek a reason to laugh instead of break down crying as he'd felt like he was about to. Leaning into the taller boy, keeping one hand tangled in the branches beside him, Tweek gasped for breath as relieved and squeaky giggles tumbled out of his mouth. Craig's chin rested in Tweek's hair as he too snorted, not quite a laugh but definitely something happier than not.

"I thought he'd got me," Craig told Tweek, his voice sounding rough and husky, probably because of how hurt he was. "I thought I'd fucked up."

Shaking his head to the extent he could when Craig was still holding onto him like he was a lifeline, Tweek mumbled, "I didn't think I'd –ngh- b-be able to find you!" Feeling his shaking start to subside as his heart calmed down, the boy looked up at Craig and said, "You know I wouldn't leave you behind though, r-right!?"

Craig blinked down at Tweek for a moment, like he was trying to process the words in his mind, then finally he nodded, his expression unchanging. Again, Tweek felt like there was so much in Craig's eyes, so many things he'd never understand, but then the look cleared and Craig said, "I know." Realizing how it mimicked his own responses, Tweek shivered and smiled, staring up at the Noirette happily.

With the sun behind him, Tweek thought he looked like a god.

Before his thoughts could go anywhere else, there was a whoop from behind him and Tweek turned and looked down to find Brendon and Russell running along beneath them, waving their arms. "We did it!" Russell called, his grin wide and happy. "We beat their asses! The Elves have been taken out."

Looking down on his soldiers, who were very literally looking up to him, Tweek felt pride and excitement swell in his chest till he thought he'd burst. Stepping back from Craig, still not letting go of his cloak, Tweek let out a cheer of his own before screeching back, "WE'RE COMING DOWN!" Glancing back at the injured Craig, the blond let out a half shriek before scrambling for his only other health potion. Passing it to Craig, Tweek said, "B-Butters will be able to heal you once we join the main battle!"

"Oh, that's right," Craig said in a deadpan as the worst of his injuries turned to bad bruises and abrasions instead of bloody gashes. "We have a war to fight."

Smiling at Craig, Tweek said, "Yeah, so –ghn- let's go raise hell!"

Cranking up an eyebrow, Craig returned Tweek's smile with a tiny one of his own. "You know, I like the sound of that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay, so question of the day, what Country are you from? I've always been curious where my readers are from and I'd love to know!! Just country, nothing more specific, unless of course, you want to give it. I'm from the north USA. You know, up in the snow and the ice. XD It's quite cold, but I suppose that just gives me more motivation to stay inside and write!~


	41. No Monopoly on Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! You guys are from all over!! It's so cool to know where you guys are from, it seems like I have people from all over the world reading this story. That makes me happy. To think that people in the Philipines and Chile are reading this is honestly mind-boggling.
> 
> Also, there were (I think) three more pieces of fan art posted yesterday!!! Which is honestly beautiful and amazing and makes me so happy.This one --> https://imaginarylasers.tumblr.com/post/168858964354/another-pic-for-semantically-challenged-from was done by No1sKing and it's of chapter 15 from right after Craig punched Clyde XD It's so funny, I remember that chapter...
> 
> This one --> https://hyuumeii.tumblr.com/post/168883688849/a-sketch-ive-been-sitting-on-for-about-100-years was done by Hyuumeii and it's of chapter 20 (wow so long ago) and it's honestly so adorable. I love pictures of Craig looking all awkward and embarrassed.
> 
> And finally, this one --> https://www.instagram.com/p/BdFa-n2HiuNIsw7HBSupxsYf4SPHEC7U-THnDc0/ was done by Clio. They managed to pick up on the fact that Craig tries to catch Tweek's thermos every time in fails which makes me grin. I'm surprised someone caught that at all.
> 
> Though it pains me to say it, I must admit that I won't be able to write a chapter per piece of fan art after all. I should be able to give you about five extra chapters on Christmas, maybe six if I can swing it, but not the eight or nine that you all deserve. To be honest, I'm running on no sleep and lots of stress and I'm falling apart. I'd hate to crash and burn because I was pushing myself too hard.
> 
> But enough of me disappointing you.
> 
> Enjoy.

In a normal fight, Craig could have taken Chris Donnelly easily. The boy was shorter than him for one, for another he wasn't strong in any sense of the word. If they'd been fighting for real and not just in a game, Craig could have taken him. As it was, he'd almost been defeated and that would have been embarrassing.

Feeling the various bruises he'd sustained pull and ache, Craig pulled a face as he swiftly followed Tweek as they raced out of the forest. They'd lost two people, Terry and Jack, to the Elves. Considering how much damage they'd done, Craig was actually rather impressed with the other boys. They hadn't sustained the losses they'd originally assumed they were going to. That being said, Craig's hit points were low and he had a feeling that concern was echoed by the rest of the boys.

But they'd done it. They'd proven that they were every bit as capable as Cartman and Kenny needed them to be.

Looking to Tweek again, the Noirette felt something swell inside of his chest that he couldn't name. The boy had saved him, which was almost amusing considering how often it seemed like Craig was saving Tweek. Though it was just in a fantasy game and if he hadn't been following the rules he could have turned the fight around in seconds, Craig didn't really care. The fact of the matter was that Tweek had searched for him and pushed himself to do things he wasn't typically comfortable with just so he could save Craig.

That actually meant something.

As they all broke through the tree cover and raced through the dirty trash heaps that decorated Kenny's front lawn, Craig beckoned the fighters around the house, breaking away towards the park. He was glad to see the other boys were excited as well, even though they'd just been through a battle. Though he didn't know quite as much about leadership as he probably should, he knew that if the other boys were tired, they wouldn't do as well.

"Have we received word of how the war is going?" Jesse asked, drawing up beside Tweek and Craig so he could look between both of them. "Because I don't hear any fighting."  _Wait, what?_

At those words, Craig abruptly stopped, causing Brandon to crash into him and those ahead to get a few yards before they realized what was happening. Skidding to a halt, Tweek twitched and hurried back over to Craig's side. "W-what's going on?" he asked, looking around wildly. "Is something wrong?"

_I don't know._  But he couldn't say that to the other boys so instead, he just pulled out his phone and checked to make sure he hadn't gotten a message from anyone. Discerning that there was indeed nothing; Craig glanced at Jesse before tugging on the edge of his chullo and looking in the direction of the park. He was right, there was nothing coming from that direction, no yells or screams or spells being cast, just silence.

"Something's wrong," he said, furrowing his brows slightly as he tried to work out what it could be.  _They probably just finished fighting already._  Feeling the hand of Tweek tugging at his cloak, Craig glanced down at the violently shivering boy and gave him a  _well, what do you want to do about it_  look.

"S-someone would have sent word if –ghn- the battle was over!" Tweek squeaked, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Absently patting the boy's head to calm him down, Craig looked at the remaining soldiers. "If no one has sent word, th-that means that the fight is still going on or something is wrong!" Nodding slowly in agreement, Craig pointed at Ryan.

"Can you te- I mean, can you send a carrier raven to Terry to see if there's anyone back at Kupa Keep?" Craig asked, glad that Kenny wasn't there to get on him for breaking character. It wasn't his fault that the whole thing could be confusing sometimes. As Ryan instantly pulled out his phone and started tapping away, Craig heard someone clear his throat and he glanced over at Daniel.

"If I man, I say we head towards the park," he said, tapping his Jewish staff against the ground. "If they're there, then we've done the right thing. If they aren't we can take stock of the situation and decide from there."

"B-but what if the High Elf and his soldiers defeated everyone and we're walking straight into a trap!" Tweek yelped, yanking on his hair with one hand while grimacing at the same time. "Jesus man, that would be so much pressure!" Looking up at Craig, as though for answers, the blond yelped, "We're all injured, we w-won't be able to –ngh- survive a surprise attack!"

"Terry says there are only a few guards at Kupa keep!" Ryan called, glancing up from his phone so he could address everyone else. "Apparently they're as clueless as we are." Letting out a huffing breath at that, Craig's expression darkened as he glanced over at Daniel, who was still watching Tweek and him calmly.  _Well, it looks like we don't have much of a choice, now do we?_

Quickly, he glanced down at the vibrating Tweek, who looked fearful now that they weren't caught in the thick of battle. Though he couldn't risk patting the boy's head again, or rather, didn't want to chance making him look weaker by treating him as such, Craig did give him a long, calm look.  _It's going to be fine, we're going to be okay._  Only once Tweek nodded did Craig turn to address the rest of their warriors. "Let's go then, but keep your eyes peeled," Craig ordered.

"You don't have enough h-health to spare!" Tweek squeaked, adding his two cents into what Craig was saying. Nodding, the warriors spread out and started towards the park once more, now at a much more sedated pace. Tweek and Craig both held back, their eyes everywhere, checking to make sure no one was following them or otherwise sneaking up on them. Craig preferred it this way, when Tweek was right next to him, he didn't have to fear another incident like earlier that day at recess.

Besides, they fought better together. It was easier to say that than to admit that he couldn't get the whole playground incident out of his head. He could see the bruise on Tweek's shoulder, definitely in the shape of a hand. It made him feel sick and angry, right now when they were supposed to be fighting, he couldn't be thinking about that.

But it had been because of that moment that Craig had ended up getting into the fight with Chris Donnelly in the first place, even though he knew his chances of winning were next to nothing. It was because he'd seen the boy start to target Tweek and he hadn't wanted that to happen. It was his fault that Tweek had needed to come save him at all and it was because he kept making stupid decisions that were driven by that strange monster in his chest that demanded he keep Tweek safe.

And while he wanted to feel happy that Tweek had saved him, Craig couldn't help but feel guilty because it had been his fault that he'd needed to be saved at all.  _It's just a game, stop trying to make up for your mistakes by doing stupid shit._  Gritting his teeth, Craig forced himself to pay attention to his surroundings instead of getting mired in his own head. It didn't matter anymore. He'd apologized and Tweek had forgiven him and he'd beaten the sixth-grader's ass and he wasn't going to let it happen again. That was all there was to it.

"Ngh- W-what's wrong?" Tweek pushed out in a hushed squeak. Turning to look at him, Craig felt something in him twist at the worried look on Tweek's face. He knew, logically, that Tweek was asking about the game and not about if there was something wrong with him, but it felt the same. Guilt clogging his arteries, Craig defaulted to his usual bored face, not wanting to alarm Tweek and possessing no way of expressing himself even if he did want to speak.

"Nothing, you see anything?" Craig asked easily, looking over Tweek at the scant trees behind him. They were getting pretty close to the park, if he were the Elves laying a trap, he would have started it back here for maximum effectiveness. But there was still nothing and though he wasn't worried in any sense of the word, it was making their warriors antsy.

Tweek let out a frustrated growl before stuttering out, "N-no, there's –ghn- n-nothing." Looking down at the boy, who was clearly worried, Craig lifted a hand to pat the boy's head before thinking twice and instead tugging on his chullo. The blond bit his lip visibly but jerked his head away so he could train his eyes on his surroundings once more. Deciding to follow his lead, Craig turned away as well, struggling to focus on the present instead of the past and the uncertain future.

"Which is  _why_  this is bullshit!" At the sound of that voice, all of the boys stopped and looked ahead to the park. Able to easily see over everyone else, Craig could only blink in complete disbelief. Walking forward, allowing Tweek to catch onto his cloak and creep along behind him, Craig stared over at the park, him usual boredom replaced with something approaching confusion.  _The hell am I looking at?_

"No, Kyle, this is not bullshit, this is war!" The basketball court, which should have been a battleground right about now, was currently split down the middle. On one side stood the Elves, all of them in full battle gear. The other side had been devoted to similarly geared up Humans, none of whom were fighting.

And in the middle of the court stood exactly who Craig would have guessed would be there. Kyle and Cartman were almost nose to nose. Kyle looked like he was about to explode and Cartman looked like he might throw a tantrum. At Kyle's side stood Stan, looking angry but not quite as much as his friend. In fact, he almost looked like he wanted to pull Kyle away and Craig for one didn't blame him in the slightest. Next to Cartman stood Kenny, a smirk high on his face and his golden hair streaming behind him in the wind.

"IT'S NOT WAR IF YOU'RE FUCKING CHEATING!" Kyle yelled at Cartman, throwing his arms in the air. Squeaking, Tweek huddled closer to Craig, who simply put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him along as he slowly continued walking towards the park. The rest of their soldiers followed along, none of them quite knowing what to do instead. "THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU CARTMAN, YOU'RE A FUCKING CHEATER!"

"I didn't cheat!" Cartman exclaimed, crossing his arms and leaning backward, as if disgusted by Kyle's very presence. "If anyone is cheating, it's you, because you're a filthy Jew Elf and everyone knows that Jews always cheat." Walking into the court, standing by the gate as their injured warriors all edged in at the back, Craig lingered by the exit with Tweek, unsure what was about to happen.

"Hey, asshole, being Jewish has nothing to do with cheating! Get it through your fat head!" Looking down at Tweek, who was already staring up at him, a look of fear and apprehension on his face, Craig raised an eyebrow before glancing about for someone he could talk to. Spotting Clyde, Craig walked towards him, keeping Tweek pressed against his side, just on instinct.

"Oh really, well I'd believe it, Kyle, if you guys hadn't already CHEATED!" Cartman yelled right back, his hands balled into fists around his staff. "It was total bullshit that you got the stick and you know it!" Ignoring Cartman and Kyle, Craig edged in next to his friend, whose eyes widened when he saw the Noirette. For once, he didn't try to hug him or Tweek.

"What's going on?" Craig asked softly, leaning over so only Clyde could hear him. From beside him, Tweek let out a squeak and nodded his head ferociously, twitching as he did so. Trying to spot Token, Craig finally spotted the boy near the injured soldiers, muttering spells over them. "We fought the Elves in the forest, why are we not fighting here?"

"Kyle's trying to get The Slums territory on the grounds that Cartman cheated, knowing that he was going to be here. He's not letting it go, dude, they've been going at it for ages," Clyde muttered back, giving Craig a wide-eyed look as if to say,  _what can you do?_  Blinking once, Craig turned back towards Cartman and Kyle, the urge to roll his eyes too big to just ignore.  _Is this for real? Fucking really guys? This is what you're going to do? I just got broken out of detention and probably into even more trouble for this?_

"B-but it's not cheating, right?" Tweek hissed, his eyes going from Craig to Clyde then back again in rapid succession. "They should have been guarding it! And it's n-not in the rules! They shouldn't get Princess Kenny's house!" Shaking under Craig's arm, Tweek tugged on his hair and made a soft sound of panic. "Jesus, that's not fair!"

"I know Teacup," Clyde agreed gravely, nodding his head as he watched Cartman and Kyle yell at each other. "I know. But these things are diplomatic, I think. We're not supposed to think they're fair." Shrugging when Craig gave him a flat look, Clyde muttered. "Whatever happens, I'd go over and get healed while you can. Toke's got your Coffee, Tweek, if you want it."

At the mention of getting Tweek his coffee, Craig's mind was made up. Before Tweek could ask Clyde any more questions, Craig guided him away, edging around the gathered boys towards where Token was. The moment the black boy was in sight, Craig let go of Tweek who darted around their warriors till he reached Token, who instantly produced Tweek's coffee from his bag of medical supplies.

Walking over at a more sedated pace, Craig stood to the side as Token healed William, who raised his eyebrows at Craig and jerked his head towards the front, where Cartman and Kyle were still screaming. "You'd think they'd get tired of it," he commented, shaking his head. "Sometimes I wonder how they ever became friends."

"Tell me about it," Craig responded, rolling his eyes. Looking over the heads of everyone else, Craig watched as Kyle waved his arms around angrily, causing Stan to lean out of the way to avoid getting smacked accidentally. Attention drawn from the fight by the sound of Token clicking his tongue, Craig turned back towards his friend, who held out his hands.

"I might as well heal you," Token told him, shrugging. "I assume you're at less than half health." When Craig nodded, the black boy muttered something under his breath and waved his hands in a pattern. As he worked, Craig glanced over at Tweek, who was talking to Jesse and sucking down his coffee like he was never going to see another cup of it. He looked so happy, like he was on top of the world, that the Noirette found himself feeling marginally better as well, even though his entire mood had been rather sour all day.

Touching Craig's upper arm, Token leaned in and murmured, "I prefer you being happy to you looking guilty all the time." Before Craig could ask him what that was supposed to mean or how he'd known, Token was already moving on to the next injured boy. Shaking it off as nothing, Craig walked over to Tweek, who looked up and gave him a wide-eyed expression. Leaning against the fence next to where the blond was sitting beside Jesse.

"Ugh, they sure fight a lot, don't they?" Jesse asked, watching the crowd but talking about the four boys still arguing. "I wonder when we're actually going to fight?"

From the front, Craig heard Kenny say, "Gentlemen, who cares who and who isn't cheating? If you've both cheated then you're both dicks and we can just leave it at that!" Apparently, neither Cartman nor Kyle liked this because both rounded on the Princess, who held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, or you can keep looking stupid."

"Shut up Kenny!" Kyle demanded, his face red and his hair escaping out from under his hat and crown in his anger. "You're just as bad as Cartman! Heck, I bet you were the one who set this whole thing up!" Stan attempted to put a hand on Kyle's shoulder, but the redhead shoved it off, to which the other boy looked hurt.

"Hey, watch your mouth asshole!" Cartman demanded, edging his way in between Kyle and Kenny. "That's Lady McCormick you're speaking to! She is the fairest in all the lands and I will  _not_  have you disrespecting her!" Craig felt the overwhelming urge to facepalm. It was entirely asinine, this whole thing, and the best (or worst) part was that technically, he was responsible.  _Oh joy, more bullshit._

"If w-we already fought in the forest, doesn't that mean that they still did attack?" Tweek asked, gnawing on his fingernails while staring straight ahead at nothing. Letting his hand fall to his side, Craig just managed to brush his fingers through Tweek's wild hair. Tugging on a few of the strands lightly to draw the boy's attention, Craig fixed his gaze on the twitching Tweek.

"I'm pretty sure we're going to have to sit through it," he told Tweek, shrugging. Taking his fingers out of his mouth, Tweek let out a soft involuntary sound and clutched his thermos tightly. Stuffing his hand back into his pocket, Craig returning to listening to the four idiots that were supposedly the leaders of this stupid game.

"Guys." Holding out his hands, Stan gave a sigh and said, "Listen, if we're going to keep arguing about this, we should probably call a moderator. I mean, it's kind of creepy just having these drones hovering over us." Looking up, Craig found that, yes, there was a veritable army of drones all hovering above their heads. Tweek let out a panicked screech at the sound, which unfortunately drew Kenny's eyes.

Though he probably couldn't see Tweek, Kenny smirked and pressed his hands together daintily. "I agree with the Elven Ranger. We must settle this. Why not fight, it would be the most advantageous for both sides, right?"

"No, it wouldn't be!" Kyle growled. "You guys have the advantage, you guys have already taken out our forest patrol!"

"Oh don't give us that bullshit," Cartman complained, his vast robes rippling as he crossed his arms and huffed. "They were out there to try and take our land. It's not our fault that we happened to have a guard there to fight them off."

"Now look who's spouting bullshit!" Kyle snapped right back. "There was no way those people were a guard. You had ten soldiers  _attack_  our Elves! The carrier ravens said so, you can't just ignore what the carrier ravens say!"

"They could be spreading fake tidings," Cartman argued back, lifting his chin in defiance. "Besides, it doesn't matter if they did attack your Elves! Your Elves were on  _my_  territory which I will not tolerate!"

Kenny gave a loud, long sigh. "You know, I thought we were making progress here. Can't we come up with a compromise or something? This fighting is giving me a headache, I fear I may need a healer if this continues on."

Stan, clearly bent on being the more reasonable one, quickly cut off what Kyle was about to say with, "What are you proposing? Because we're not going to fight over this territory, it's not a fair fight, even you have to admit that much."

From the crowd, the voice of Butters piped up. "W-what about a festival or somethin'?" Craig's eyebrows hiked up at that.  _What the fuck? These people are so weird._  "I mean, w-what if it's a time of peace an'such? W-we could send some people to the Giggling Donkey, seein' as it's not all that far away and get drinks an' food an' maybe even the Bard would come!"

"Oh, Jesus, a festival!?" Tweek squeaked, his fingers going for his hair. "B-but don't we hate them?! What is he talking about, why would we have a festival!?" Many other people on both sides were saying similar things, the muttering rising into a din of sorts. When Tweek let out a moan of abject confusion and fear, Craig quickly knelt down and sat down next to the boy, pressing up against him until the blond stopped shaking. Even though he couldn't see anymore, Craig felt better.

"Why would we have a festival with a bunch of Humans? Kyle demanded, sounding suspicious. "That's bullshit, we hate each other! We should be fighting, not having fun together!"

"Oh Butters, you're so wise!" Kenny trilled, sounding delighted as opposed to Kyle's anger. "Oh High Jew Elf, perhaps you should reconsider! For a day, we could be civil with each other instead of being so hostile. After all, are we not  _all_ people of Zaron?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea actually," Stan said, sounding relieved, probably because Kyle was no longer yelling.  _Well, I guess if it were me and Tweek, I'd feel better if Tweek wasn't upset._  "I can send a carrier raven to them right now, we can probably get food from City Wok."

Token, who had been listening silently up until that point, pushed through the crowd of kids till Craig couldn't see him anymore. "If everyone else will chip in, I can probably cover a good portion of the costs. After all, the clergy does have money to feed the poor." Craig snorted at that.  _Oh man, way to get away with literally insulting everyone else here Token._  Sometimes, he forgot how ballsy Token could be.

"I can probably get some food from my family's restaurant," a kid named David called over from the Elven side of the court. There was a rumbling of agreement at that, probably because the food David's family made was good.

It was Cartman, inevitably, that decided to raise a fuss. "But there's no fighting!" he whined, sounding frustrated. "We were going to fight the Elves today and this ruins that!"

"Oh don't worry Grand Wizard," Kenny all but purred, and Craig could feel something icy travel down his spine. "There will be fighting today, after all, we've got to have entertainment, right?"

Tweek let out a squeak at that, but all Craig could do was wrap an arm around the boy's shoulders. Because whatever was coming wasn't going to be good and he would be damned if he was going to let Tweek get caught in it.  _He's gotten caught in enough after all._

"Very well," Cartman said, with a long and loud sigh. "I suppose it is settled then. Let the first Festival of Zaron begin!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah! This is pretty much the equivalent of me jumping in your face and yelling "PSYCH!" No darlings, there was no battle, but there will be something very gut-wrenching in the chapters to come~


	42. Ale and Cider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
> 
> AHHHH!!! The day has finally arrived and here is the beginning of your Christmas gift darlings~ I'll be posting the chapters throughout the day so they can really sink in because these chapters are very important.
> 
> I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has done fan art. Every piece has been beyond delightful and every time I get one, I get so happy, I can't even describe it. To think real people out there are reading this story and taking time out of their day to draw something is mind-boggling.
> 
> So let me give back with more~
> 
> Enjoy

Tweek wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to think. One moment, he'd been expecting them to break out into an all-out war, the next, the park was being converted into a festival, complete with banners and music, courtesy of Jimmy and several other kids. To be honest, he was still clinging to Craig's sleeve, his eyes wide and nervous.

On one side, in the playground area, both sides had come together and set up a place for weapons to be bought and sold. Over there, Elves and Humans alike haggled over prices and examined different arms and armaments. They'd even set up a makeshift row of practice dummies and targets. It was so surreal, seeing people that had been fighting for weeks suddenly get over their differences and exist together, Tweek kept wondering if he was dreaming.

As for the various injured soldiers, everyone had come down here to be healed so they could join in the festivities. Even Chris Donnelly was limping around, helping Scott and Butters set up tables for the food David's mother had brought down. It honestly felt like everyone was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Tweek knew he was, and judging by the way Craig's eyes slowly scanned the people around them as they wandered around, the blond was pretty sure the Thief was also suspicious of the proceedings.

At the head of the basketball court, a makeshift dais had been erected for both Cartman and Kyle to sit at. They were both on their respective thrones at that moment, sitting in stony and mildly irritable silence. Tweek didn't want to get anywhere close to them, he could feel the tension from where he stood and he hadn't even spoken to any of them. It made him feel like tearing his hear out.

As the owner of City Wok argued with Token about prices and a group of Elves and Humans carried the food out of the truck and started setting it up, the figure of Stan suddenly blocked Tweek's view. Pulling Tweek back, almost like it was instinctual, Craig cleared his throat and said, "What do you want, Marsh?" Wishing his could grab Craig's cloak and pull it around his shoulders, Tweek huddled up next to the boy and stared up at Stan fearfully.

_Oh god, he's from the other side! What if he wants to hurt us!? But we're at a festival! They wouldn't hurt us now, that would be stupid!_  Forcing himself to simply hang onto Craig's sleeve, Tweek struggled to take deep breaths. Thankfully, Stan's eyes seemed to be looking anywhere but at them. Scratching the back of his neck, the boy looked at the sky and said, "Um, about lunch today…"

"Yes," Craig bit out. His voice didn't change, but Tweek could tell that even the mention of the sixth-grader made him upset.  _He's not here, you don't have to be angry._  Though he himself shivered at the thought of encountering that boy again, Tweek firmly knew that Craig would protect him and honestly wasn't upset over the whole thing anymore. He had too many worries to constantly be terrified over any one thing. Why Craig, someone who never cared about anything, seemed so worked up over this one thing was beyond him.

"Look," Stan said frankly, looking uncomfortable. "I talked to Kyle about it and we've banished him from space and time. We can do that because we have the stick. He's not part of the game anymore." Glancing down at Tweek, furrowing his brows as he did so, Stan said, "I'm sorry he beat you up." He didn't sound sorry, he sounded stiff and awkward, but Tweek didn't really care.

"It's alright," he squeaked, forcing himself to stand up straighter.  _Come on, you fought a bunch of Elves earlier, Stan's no different! Don't be such a wuss._  Lifting his chin, Tweek managed to stutter, "Craig –ngh- p-protected me!" Though it might have been his imagination, Tweek could have sworn he felt Craig stiffen beside him, but that was ridiculous so he didn't give it credence.

Blinking, Stan nodded jerkily and muttered something about finding Kyle before walking off. Glancing up at Craig, Tweek waited for the boy to stop staring at the retreating figure of Stan before saying, "Is there s-something wrong?" When Craig didn't answer, Tweek could feel nervousness creep in.  _Oh, Jesus, there's something wrong, isn't there?! Why doesn't Craig tell me when he's upset? Why can't he be more easy to understand, I don't read minds!_

But Craig just said, "No, I think he means it. They felt bad enough to boot the fucker out of the game anyway." It took Tweek a moment to understand what Craig was saying, but when he did, he let out an involuntary noise and twitched hard.  _I WASN'T ASKING ABOUT STAN! WHY DOES HE NEVER THINK I'M ASKING ABOUT HIM?!_  Unsure how else he was supposed to ask, Tweek decidedly gave up, shoving the issue from his mind.  _He'd tell me if something was wrong, right?_

The hand that inevitably landed in his hair was gentle, and it made Tweek sigh, though it did nothing to diminish his worry for the boy standing beside him.  _Everything's fine, Craig's here, nothing bad is going to happen._

"Tweekers! Fucker! My two favoritist warriors and I didn't even have to look for you!" Suddenly, Tweek found him and Craig forcibly separated as Kenny swung in between them, wrapping an arm around both of their shoulders. It probably should have been an awkward maneuver, but the Princess pulled it off with ease. "You two should be enjoying yourselves! Have you seen the most recent rankings? You're both at level four now!"

Roughly pushing Kenny off of him, Craig flatly said, "What do you want, McC- Lady McCormick?" Feeling panic start to bubble in his chest as Kenny turned the arm around his shoulder into a side hug, Tweek stared at Craig, who wasn't looking at him. Giggling at Craig's annoyance, Kenny laughed harder when Craig said, "If you don't need anything, fuck off."

"Aww, so mean." Poking Tweek's cheek, Kenny trilled, "At least Tweeky here likes me, isn't that right? Come on Tweek, let's go somewhere else where Feldspar isn't being such a Debbie Downer." As Kenny started to pull him away from Craig, Tweek let out a shriek and struggled free, hurrying back over to Craig, who instantly pulled him in protectively. Pouting, Kenny said, "For your information, there's currently a table of people who want to hear about your side of the battle!"

Pushing out a breath, Craig released Tweek and shoved his hands into his pockets instead. "We fought the Elves, we won. There, that's my story." Tweek giggled at that, unable to stop himself from finding Craig's short, to the point synopsis hilarious.  _He's like that isn't he, so concise, unless you find the things he wants to talk about._ It was funny because Tweek felt like he always took way too many words to get out what he wanted to say, and yet Craig put up with him easily.

Huffing in a very princess-like way, Kenny crossed his arms and tossed his hair behind his head. "As Princess, it's my duty to make sure you two don't become anti-social. Come on." Grabbing Tweek's wrist, to which the blond let out a loud shriek, Kenny continued, "You're both going to come and entertain. After all, I'm  _always_  entertained when I'm watching you."

"GHA- W-WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?" Tweek screeched, trying and failing to free himself from Kenny, who was marching him over towards the table of people with a single-minded purpose. "Craig and I –ghn- aren't entertaining!" the blond insisted, feeling more panicked by the moment.  _Entertain Elves?! But I can't entertain anyone! What if I screw up and they all hate me! Jesus, that's way too much pressure!_

"Of course you two are entertaining!" Kenny insisted, picking invisible bits of stuff out of Tweek's hair as they walked, like he was doing his best to make him presentable. "I mean look at the two of you, a class act! Why, the only thing I find more fun to watch than the two of you is Stan and Kyle, and everyone knows that they're- Oh hey Feldspar, I thought you weren't coming!"

Looming into vision suddenly, Craig grabbed the wrist that Kenny had taken hostage and very precisely pealed the boy's fingers off of Tweek. Instantly feeling better now that he wasn't being dragged around by Kenny, Tweek scurried to the other side of Craig so that the other blond wouldn't attempt to drag him off again. "Fuck. Off," Craig said, his tone making it exceedingly clear to Tweek exactly what the boy thought of Kenny.

Opening his mouth to protest, the boy was cut off when an Elf, one Tweek recognized as the one he'd jumped on waved them over, a grin on his face. "Hey!" he called, looking entirely amicable for someone who had been fighting Humans quite fiercely earlier. "Tweek, isn't it? And Craig! Come on, we were talking about the fight earlier."

Looking over at them, Chris Donnelly managed a smile of his own as he commented, "Yeah, come on Tucker, you were an absolute beast out there earlier." Running a hand through his curly blond hair, the boy scooted over and beckoned them forward. "Don't be so uptight, it's a festival, isn't it? Our leaders are managing peace, somehow."

Shivering, Tweek stepped out from behind the comfort of Craig's cloak and looked at the boys nervously. They did not look like they were going to hurt anyone, in fact, they were all acting like they used to, before the game was a thing and everyone became enemies. "H-he really was," Tweek blurted out, feeling horribly awkward when everyone's attention focused on him. "I mean –ngh- y-you were going to win, but he's really strong!"

"Come on Tweek, you're strong too!" insisted Jack, from where he was sitting next to an Elf Archer. "You're a motherfucking monster when you want to be. A true berserker!"  _Really, they think that I'm strong?_ Finding himself smiling, the blond caught Craig's sleeve and pulled the boy after him so they could sit down at the food-laden table.

"It's true!" another Elf piped up. "You're pretty strong!"

"Shut up, you're the one who took me out," Terry complained, taking a bite of City Chicken. "You Elves are way too good at this."

"Well, we had better be because your strategies suddenly got a million times better!"

Though Tweek wanted to get lost in the conversation, he could feel Craig's eyes on him and he turned around jerkily, giving the Noirette a wide-eyed stare.  _I wonder if he doesn't like it here. Maybe we should leave. Oh god, what if I'm making him feel uncomfortable! Though he doesn't normally talk! JESUS WHAT DO I DO!?_  Remembering the thermos that he still had in one of his hands, Tweek suddenly fumbled with it, struggling to open it with shaky hands.

As if reanimated by this, Craig quickly moved to open the container for him. The moment his hands closed over it, Tweek grabbed for his tunic and tugged at it insistently, his eyes wide. Looking up at him, Craig furrowed his brows. Biting his lip, Tweek twitched and tried to word his question correction.  _Are you alright?_  That's what he wanted to ask, but he couldn't push the words through his lips so instead, he shook his head and just took his open thermos back, drinking down some of the coffee.

Though Craig didn't say a word to him, Tweek could feel him shift closer and it made him feel better. He would probably never understand the somewhat arbitrary clauses that surrounded how Craig acted around him, but he knew that he'd probably always take comfort from the boy's presence.  _I wonder if I'm comforting to him? I bet I'm not, but I guess that's okay, as long as he's willing to put up with me. Ugh, I sound so pathetic, but it's true. Jesus, why do I have to be so lame?_

"So what I'm curious about," Chris said, leaning over the table as he talked, waving his plastic knife around as he did so. "Is what this entertainment the Princess was talking about is going to be. I mean, fighting is pretty open-ended, wouldn't you say?" Snapped out of his rather depressing train of thought, Tweek remembered Kenny's talk about fighting and let out a soft scream.  _Oh god, that's right! Why do we have to fight?! Isn't this supposed to be a peaceful festival!?_

"It's probably bullshit," Craig commented, grabbing for a plate and heaping it with things before setting it between himself and Tweek. Grabbing for a piece of unnamable meat, Craig took a bite and flatly said, "Everything the Princess comes up with is bullshit." Several Elves laughed and even a couple Humans managed to find it funny.

"I bet they're going to have a few Elves fight a few Humans and call it entertainment," Daniel commented from somewhere down the table. At the suggestion, Tweek let out a yelp and tugged at his hair.  _Fight Elves?! In front of people? Jesus that's so much pressure! What if I'm picked and then I fail and everyone thinks I'm a wimp!?_

Bumping up against him lightly, Craig took another bite of his food and said, "If they do that, they'll probably choose two of the strongest to go against each other." At those words, Tweek felt himself relax slightly. He wasn't the strongest, not by a long shot. Heck, most of the people he'd fought with that day were stronger than him.  _That means they won't pick Craig or me, so I guess it's okay._

"I kind of want to see the High Elf and the Grand Wizard fight," Chris said, grinning mischievously. "I mean sure, there's no way they'd actually do that, but damn, who doesn't want to watch that happen?" Picturing it, Tweek found himself trying to work out how either of them would be able to do anything at all if they couldn't stop screaming at each other.

"Dude," Ryan muttered, a stupid grin on his face. "I would  _kill_  to watch that fight go down. Aren't they always fighting anyway? My younger brother is in your grade and he says they're always going at it."

"You have no idea!" called Russell.

"Honestly," one of the Elves admitted, swirling around his bottle of water absently. "I only joined this side cause I wanted to see the Grand Wizard get the shit kicked out of him. So far, I've been disappointed."

Suddenly, Tweek found himself getting pushed into Craig as Clyde nudged his way onto the bench beside him. "Am I seriously the only one who remembers Craig handing the Grand Wizard's ass to him on a plate?" Squirming over to make room for Clyde, Tweek was unsurprised when the boy rested an elbow on his shoulder and grabbed for some of the food that was literally everywhere. "I mean it was scary, but man, it was satisfying."

Twitching, Tweek shook his head and squeaked, "Grr- No way man! Do you know how much trouble Craig and I got in for that!?" Shivering at the memory, Tweek said, "We w-were suspended for one whole week. That was so long! N-never again!" Clyde laughed at that and ruffled his hair, which Tweek protested but didn't fight off.

From beside him, Craig snorted and raised an eyebrow. "Asshole was asking for it. I'd take another week of suspension any time just to make that fat fucker pay." Letting out a squawk at Craig's words, Tweek pulled on the boy's cloak, shaking his head.  _Oh god, how can he say things like that about Cartman when he's literally right over there!_

"Okay, so maybe we won't get to see the Wizard and the High Elf fight, but what about Stan and Princess Kenny," Jack suggested, munching on a bread roll. "They'd make an interesting battle. Pretty evenly matched, you know? And besides, the Princess is actually pretty bad ass."

"Did I hear someone say my name?" Abruptly finding a weight on his head, Tweek all but screamed to find the hair of Kenny's wig getting in his eyes. "What are y'all talking about now? Me and Stan fighting? Trust me, I'd dispose of him in short order." All the Humans at the table cheered while the Elves made various sounds of protest. "Come on, that boy gets sick around girls, we all know I'd have an easy time of it."

Glaring at Kenny, Craig muttered, "I'm pretty sure you'd just trip over your skirts and go ass over tits." The gathered warriors burst out laughing, but Kenny finally moved off of Tweek so he could press his hands to his heart in abject horror. Grateful, Tweek leaned against Craig, letting his presence calm him down. Even as he picked at his food with a bored expression, Craig's arm slipped around Tweek's back, making the blond feel that much better.

Letting out a huff, Kenny looked to the side and pouted. "So rude~ I think some of you just need to appreciate the finer points of a Lady. But I suppose with people like Fucker around, you never will." When everyone got a chuckle out of that, except for Craig, who muttered something about Kenny being an asshole under his breath, Kenny clapped his hands together and said, "Now, I hate to ruin your festivities like this, but I have to whisk one of your men away. The Grand Wizard requires his presence immediately."

Before anyone could ask who it was, Kenny put a hand on Tweek's shoulder and sweetly said, "Tweekers darling, be a dear and come with me." Blood going cold, Tweek let out a shriek and squirmed away from Kenny, fear filling him.  _OH GOD, WHAT DOES CARTMAN WANT WITH ME!? I didn't do anything! I've been a good Barbarian! Did I screw something up!? Oh Jesus, I probably screwed something up!_

"What does he want with Tweek?" Craig asked instantly, reminding the blond of his presence when he tightened the arm he still had around him. Trying to get himself under control, Tweek twitching violently and let out an involuntary whimper that he smothered with a hand. Big wide eyes flicking between Kenny and Craig, Tweek tried to understand the battle that was going on with their eyes, but it only made him freak out more.

"If you're so curious Feldspar, why don't you come with him," Kenny invited, giving a curtsy. "By all means, be my guest. But Tweeky needs to come, otherwise, a certain pair of Kings are going to be very disgruntled and everyone knows what happens when one of those Kings gets upset." His smile was dangerous, and it made Tweek shiver, but he still got up when Craig rose to his feet as well and pulled the boy after him.

"Fine, we'll go," Craig bit out, looking down at Tweek quickly as if to make sure this was okay. The way his eyes softened the moment they weren't looking at Kenny was amazing. "It's probably something stupid anyway."

"Come back in one piece Craig!" Clyde insisted, grabbing the plate of food Craig had left behind and instantly starting on it.

"Don't let him eat you!" called Chris to Tweek, which made the whole table roar with laughter. Wishing he could find it as funny, Tweek let out a scream in response and allowed himself to be gently tugged away by Craig as they followed Kenny towards the dais.  _Jesus, what if Cartman does eat me!?_  But no, Craig wouldn't let that happen, so Tweek would probably get away with not being devoured.

Then again, the moment he caught sight of the devious expression on Cartman's face, Tweek felt himself start to shake harder than usual. It only got worse when Craig let go of him and shoved his hands into his pockets, lifting his chin and staring straight ahead as if Tweek had just ceased to be a thing. Hardly able to stop Kenny, Tweek allowed himself to be dragged forward by the Princess, who gave a slight bow to Cartman, though he giggled as he did it.

"Grand Wizard," Kenny greeted, straightening and standing at attention primly. Tweek felt his blood run cold when he noticed that Kyle was staring at him intensely, a finger pressed against his temple in thought. Beside him stood Stan, a grim expression on his face. "I brought you Tweek, just as you asked."

"Wonderful Lady McCormick, you are the most wonderful maiden in the land," Cartman said, the platitudes sounding like a memorized script at this point. Leaning forward, the boy gave Craig a suspicious look, which the Noirette returned with his usual deadpan. "I don't understand why Feldspar had to accompany him, but I suppose that's how these things work."

"W-why am I here?!" Tweek suddenly squeaked, the words escaping his mouth as the fear finally overloaded the circuits in his brain that told him to keep quiet. He couldn't help but ask, he needed to know before he actually went crazy like he thought he might.

"We're going to have a gladiator-style match as entertainment," Kyle cut in, his tone blunt. "An Elf and a Human, just to let people get worked up over something."

"Yes, the Jew is correct," Cartman purred, not even flinching when Kyle attempted to start at him and Stan held him back. "After reviewing your progress during the battle you fought in the woods, as well as the fight that took place at the school, it's been decided that you are going to fight against Stan here to the death."

_OH GOD NO FUCK WHY I CAN'T HANDLE ITWHYARETHEYMAKINGMEFIGHTSTANNO!_ Tweek's hands flew to his hair and he yanked on it as hard as possible as he screeched, "TO THE DEATH!? OH JESUS, THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"

He would have freaked out further, but abruptly, he found Craig in front of him, his form blocking Cartman from view. "No," the Noirette said flatly, his voice louder than it usually was. Panicking, Tweek pulled insistently on the back of Craig's cloak, frantically confused as to what the boy was trying to do.  _You can't just fight what Cartman says! Stop trying, you're going to get in trouble!_

"Feldspar, what the hell?" Cartman asked, sounding frustrated. "Tweek is going to fight Stan and that's it. He'll do fine. He's level four now."  _No, I won't do fine but what does that matter!? Just don't fight him, Craig, there's no point, you can't do anything!_

"Let me fight instead," Craig said, crossing his arms. At the words, Tweek felt his stomach revolve. He didn't want Craig to fight for him, he didn't want to fight either but he definitely didn't want to see the Noirette get hurt for him.  _Jesus, he does that enough already!? Why is he doing this?! It's so stupid, he's going to get hurt!_

"Dude, just let Tweek fight," Stan said, stepping forward. The boy had a troubled look on his face, like he was trying to figure Craig out. "Your character isn't built for fighting a character like me. You wouldn't stand a chance." Tugging on the back of Craig's cloak harder, Tweek prayed that he'd just listen to Stan and stop trying to throw himself into danger for once.

"I don't give a fuck," Craig said. "I'm fighting and that's final." Twitching, Tweek shook his head and tried to tell Craig to stop but he couldn't get the words out.  _WHY IS HE TRYING TO GET HIMSELF KILLED!?_

But even if he could have asked, it wouldn't have mattered. Clapping his hands together, the action sounding very much like a death toll to Tweek, Cartman let out a laugh and said, "Very well then. I think we should announce the event then. Feldspar versus Stan. After all, I heard that he kicked your ass earlier Feldspar. I'm sure you want revenge."

_That has nothing to do with this!_  "Sure," Craig agreed, too quickly. Tweek just let out a muffled shriek that he let loose into his hand, which he had clapped over his mouth.

"Then I guess it's decided," Kyle said, as if the bearing of the decision had no effect on him whatsoever. Getting to his feet, the Elf clapped his hands and shouted, "HEY!" Once he had most everybody's attention, Kyle raised his arms and called, "It has been decided that the entertainment for today will be a battle to the death between a Human and an Elf. The contestants are Stan, fighting for the Elves, and Craig, fighting on behalf of the Humans." Turning to look at Cartman, Kyle said, "Let the best Race win."

_Oh god, Craig's going to get beaten,_ Tweek realized, even as Craig stood there stoically, as if he didn't give a fuck about any of it.  _He's going to get beaten and he doesn't even care._

Unexpectedly, he felt a knot of anger as well as fear build in his gut.

"Let them indeed," Cartman agreed, his eyes narrowing. "Let them win indeed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, oh boy Craig, bad move buddy, bad move.
> 
> LET THE ANGST BEGIN!


	43. Not My Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Chrismas again!! Look at us, we're at chapter 43. Has anyone else realized this?? Man, this story is now officially my longest story in terms of chapters.
> 
> So, since it's Christmas, what did you all get?? It feels like such a childish question but come on, it's Christmas, who doesn't want to act a little childish.
> 
> I personally got more fan art than I knew what to do with ☆ﾟ･*:｡.:(ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾟ･*:..:☆
> 
> Enjoy

Craig knew it had been a stupid idea.

They were right, he wasn't built for fighting Stan, not in the game at least. He was a Thief, Stan was a Ranger. Heck, Stan was more than twice as strong when it came to levels! It was probably suicide. Even if he'd had the advantage of surprise, he probably wouldn't have been able to win.

Somehow, that had ceased to matter.

Maybe, Craig reflected as he watched the Elves and Humans around them cheer loudly, excited for the bloodshed to come, he was losing his mind. Because jumping in and taking Tweek's place had been a gut reaction, and not the good kind. There was something in him that had heard Tweek would be fighting and had given him an image of the blond, cowering and scared, cheek bruised and eyes wide. He couldn't let that happen again, so Craig had insisted on fighting instead of Tweek because at least then it would be him getting hurt and not the blond.

And he knew he'd made a mistake, but there wasn't anything he could do about it now so he just stood there stoically and forced himself not to think about anything. Not about the guilt still twisting in his stomach that had been brewing since lunch, not about Cartman's leering grin as if he couldn't think of any better entertainment than watching Craig get hurt, not even about the shivering boy next to him who looked like he was about to explode if he didn't speak.

 _What the hell am I doing? I'm acting like an idiot._  Somehow, that connection between the logical part of his brain and the part that seemed to be ruled entirely by the negative emotions that were associated with Tweek getting hurt had been severed.  _As long as Tweek doesn't get hurt, then it doesn't matter, right?_

"You're so going to lose this time, fatass," Kyle said smugly, crossing his arms and sitting back down on his throne. "There's no way Craig is going to beat Stan in a fair fight." At those words, the blond beside Craig let out a twitchy growl, as if he were angry. Glancing down at the boy, Craig found Tweek's brows furrowed and a conflicted expression on his face.

At the sight, Craig felt something in the pit of his stomach revolt.  _Why does he look like that? I'm trying to protect him!_  He wasn't going to let Tweek get hurt anymore, there wasn't anything to be angry about. So he was probably just upset about something else. For the life of him, however, Craig couldn't think what.

"I'm sorry, I could have sworn I heard a fag talking about his boyfriend being cooler than my Thief," Cartman mocked in a high voice, earning himself a yell of anger from Kyle and Stan, as well as a ladylike swat from Kenny. "I'm just saying, Feldspar is very dangerous and you shouldn't take him so lightly."

"Ugh, your testosterone is suffocating me," Kenny complained, putting a hand to his forehead. "If you'll excuse me, I have a battle to set up." Drawing Craig's attention away from Tweek for a second, Kenny twiddled his fingers and trilled, "I would suggest you go rest for a while, after all, you were fighting not a half an hour ago. I wouldn't want you to lose because you weren't at your best Feldspar."

Craig was about to tell Kenny to fuck off, a pretty typical response to anything the boy said at this point, when Tweek twitched and muttered, "Y-yeah, we should go somewhere else." Crossing his arms, hugging his chest, Tweek walked away, leaving Craig behind to hurry down the dais and catch up.  _He's clearly upset. What's wrong? Is he worried about me?_  Watching the boy stay several steps ahead, of him, Craig followed Tweek as he walked away from the dais towards the fence between the court and the playground.

As they walked, many kids waved and said things about the fight, how excited they were and such. Craig ignored them, his attention entirely focused on Tweek, who still wouldn't look at him. Walking up beside the boy, Craig looked down at the blonde's face, but all he found was that same twitching frustration as before. He opened his mouth to say something, but he lost the idea before he could get it out.

Stopping just short of the fence, right near where Jimmy was singing some sort of song, Tweek curled in on himself. His eyes were fixed on the ground and he didn't say anything, he just twitched and shivered, letting out little involuntary noises as he did so. From his little stage, Jimmy sang, "O-o..once there were t-two mighty kings, Who clashed about for si-silly things."

Once again trying to speak, Craig found himself at a loss for words. He couldn't get around the lump in his throat and all Tweek did was stand there and shiver. Craig kept waiting for the boy to speak but he kept not saying a word. It was clear as day that he wanted to say something, but Craig could no more read minds than the next person. Tweek's fear, he could understand, Tweek's anger, well, he had no idea what to do."

"But boy, did they have some c-c-common traits~" Jimmy continued, his song causing the boys listening to laugh. "For one, to be the biggest b-b..bitch before it's too late." As everyone cheered, Craig finally cleared his throat and moved closer to Tweek, who didn't respond.

Clenching his teeth hard enough to hear them creek, Craig took a breath and finally spoke. "Tweek," he prompted, his brows furrowing as he stared at the boy. "Is something-"

"I can't believe you did that." Craig was taken aback at how upset Tweek sounded. Whatever was going on in his mind was clearly stressing him out, Craig could see the way the boy's fingers dug into his own arms and how violent his twitching was becoming. It wasn't until a few seconds later that Craig started to try and work out what Tweek was talking about.  _What is he talking about? Me taking his place? What did he expect me to do, let him get beat up by Stan?_

"Do what?" Craig asked, unable to believe that  _this_  of all things was what had pissed Tweek off so royally. He hadn't seen anything close to this kind of emotion from Tweek since they'd fought, and Craig wasn't sure he liked seeing its return. Reaching for the boy's hair, Craig felt his stomach drop when Tweek jerked backward, his eyes wide and accusatory as they flew up to his face and fixed there.

"How is it n-not obvious?" Tweek asked, his breathing coming in shallow gulps. Craig hated seeing Tweek like this, stressed out and angry. He just wanted the boy to calm down but he still couldn't comprehend what was going on. "I c-can't believe you'd just –ngh- throw yourself into danger like that!"

Sighing, accepting that Tweek was probably mostly upset about the idea of him getting hurt, Craig evenly said, "I'll be fine." He tried to keep his face as flat as possible as he calmly reassured Tweek, "I'll be able to beat Stan just-"

"No, you w-won't!" Tweek suddenly snapped, his eyes narrowing as if that had been the last thing he'd wanted Craig to say. As his breath came harder, the boy reached up into his hair and grabbed fistfuls of it, his eyes darting around and looking anywhere but at Craig. "D-don't you g-get it?! They –ghn- w-weren't tossing me into a fight I couldn't win! I would have d-done fine!"

Feeling that thing that kept reminding him of how badly he'd screwed up earlier that day rise up once more, Craig found himself clenching his fists and saying, "I don't give a fuck, I'm not going to let them do that to you."  _Why doesn't he get it? I'm not saying he would have done badly, I'm just saying I can't take that chance._

"STAN IS GOING TO KILL YOU!" Tweek's shriek made Craig's eyes widen. "H-he's a Ranger and –ngh- he's way stronger and I could have done fine and why are you doing this?! W-what is this supposed to be?!" As he ranted, his hands yanked at his hair and he started pacing, shuffling one way then the other in a frenetic figure-eight. "I can't handle this! IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"

"I'm going to be fine," Craig insisted, his eyes following Tweek, wanting to reach for him but knowing that the blond wasn't going to let him get close. "Why are you so upset?"  _Scared I get but angry? I didn't do anything to him! I helped him._  "Dude, there's no reason for you to be stressed. If I lose, I lose. At least it's not you."

"AUGH! STOP SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT!" Tweek screeched, his eyes blazing as he turned them on Craig. "Y-YOU DON'T GET IT AT ALL!" Twitching and shivering violently, hard enough that his teeth clacked together and his body looked almost contorted, the boy yelled, "YOU. C-CAN'T. WIN! I CAN!"

Taking a step forward, advancing on the furious blond, Craig bit out, "Do I look like I care?" Even though his insides kept rebelling and his mind shouted that this wasn't okay and that he shouldn't be upset with Tweek, Craig  _was._   _I'm doing this for him, why is he acting like I'm doing something wrong?_  He just wanted to keep Tweek safe, that was all. It wasn't any sort of slight against the boy, it was just that the idea of Tweek getting beaten up as some sort of sick entertainment made Craig  _furious._

"NO!" Tweek squeaked, his vivid green eyes swimming with the screams of injustice. "NO YOU DON'T CARE! GRRRrrr- Y-you're just b-being stupid!" Craig just stared at him, unwilling to back down. It wasn't like he could anyway, he'd already agreed to fight and he would be damned if he stepped down now. Not if the blond would be the one taking his place. Looking between his eyes, Tweek twitched violently and gave a scream of frustration. "Why is this any d-different from fighting in a battle? I did fine there!"

"That's different," Craig insisted drawing back a pace, crossing his arms and staring down at Tweek with a frown. "This is just entertainment for those fuckers. I'm not letting you be entertainment."

Shaking his head, like he was trying to deflect Craig's words, Tweek snapped, "W-what if I want to be entertainment! What if I don't c-care either?"

"You're not doing it," Craig told Tweek, his face stony. He could tell that the whole conversation was only pissing Tweek off more but he discovered that he didn't care. As long as he could keep Tweek from getting hurt again by another bully, another person who was stronger than he was, then Craig would do it. Tweek didn't have to like it.  _Fuck, what am I saying? I sound like an asshole._  Well, he was, and he didn't care because Craig Tucker had  _never_  cared.

Shivering, Tweek's glared dropped for a moment and all Craig saw was helplessness. "W-what if I don't want to see you g-get hurt again protecting me?" the boy asked, his tone plaintive and begging. "W-what if that scares me, Craig?" His voice almost swayed the Noirette, almost made him change his mind, but then he saw the bruise on Tweek's shoulder and his expression hardened once more.

"Of course I'm going to protect you," Craig said evenly, as if this was any sort of answer to what Tweek was saying. Stupid it might be, but he wasn't about to give in. Not now, not ever. "I'll come back in one piece, you don't have to be scared." He was about to reach forward and ruffle Tweek's hair when the face of Butters appeared in his vision, his smile bright.

"Th'Princess sent me t'fix you up, F-Feldspar!" the boy announced, holding out his hand. "It's not gonna be much longer before y'fight Stan, after all." Waving his fingers around, Butters said, "Th-there y'go! Now you've got all your hit points back!" Looking between Tweek and Craig, Butters brightly asked, "Aren'tcha excited Tweek? Feldspar is gonna beat that ol' Drow Elf real good, you'll see!"

Biting his lip, Tweek shivered and squeaked, "I hope so!" before looking back at his feet. Still feeling sick about the whole thing, Craig resolutely pushed it off.  _He's just worried. That's all. He's just worried about me._  He really wanted to continue his conversation with the boy, but Kenny chose that moment to show up as well, draping himself over Butters so he could rest his chin on the boy's shoulder. The Paladin turned bright red at this and stammered something out, which Kenny giggled at but didn't listen to.

"Aww, look at you two. Tweekers, so worried about watching Feldspar fight." Sticking out his bottom lip, Kenny cooed, "It's going to be okay. If he gets beaten then he just wasn't as good as Stan." When Tweek let out a soft scream, Kenny laughed delightedly and looked back at Craig. "What about you Fucker? You ready to make a fool of yourself?" Before Craig could answer one way or another, the boy brightly chirped, "Wonderful! We've got everything set up~"

"OH JESUS!" Tweek shrieked, yanking on his hair. Kenny chuckled at the boy's reaction while Craig clenched his hands and decidedly didn't reach for Tweek like he wanted to.  _He's probably still upset with me. Fine, once this is all over, I'll apologize._  Once more he found himself thinking about the fact that it was guilt more than anything that was driving him into this, but Craig pushed that down as well. He couldn't let that cloud his mind, he needed to be calm and collected for this. He needed to be paying attention.

"I'll be fine," Craig told Tweek once more before turning to Kenny and saying flatly, "Fine, where do I go?" Clapping his hands in delight, Kenny straightened at last and floated around so he could catch Craig's arm and tug him along, though it was mostly Craig following willingly.

"Come along Feldspar, we've got it all set up!" he said, his falsetto as terrifyingly accurate as ever. "You're going to have just the bestest time fighting Stan, oh I'm just so excited!" As they got past the other boys who had all begun crowding around the makeshift ring, Craig noticed Stan. He was standing on one end of the ring, his sword drawn, a prepared expression on his face. Beside him stood Chris, who was no doubt telling Stan how Craig fought.  _Shit. No surprises I guess._

Turning around once before he entered the ring himself, Craig managed to catch sight of Tweek huddling up next to Clyde and Token, who both seemed to be making him feel at least a little better.  _Good, because apparently, I can't do that anymore._ Struggling to whip his brain of that particularly resentful thought, Craig turned back towards Kenny, who was dusting off his cloak and fussing with his clothing, as if he gave a fuck.

Before he was done, Kenny leaned in quickly and said into Craig's ear, "I know what you're doing Fucker and it's a baaad idea. It's a good thing I enjoy watching you make a fool of yourself, otherwise, I might be tempted to tell you how stupid you're being." Pushing him back, Kenny blew him a kiss and said, "Go on Feldspar, make us Humans proud."

As he stepped away, Craig turned back towards Stan and slowly walked forward, standing in the middle of the ring, his back straight and his face a mask of boredom.  _I don't care. I don't care about any of it._  He didn't even glance at Tweek, because he didn't need to see the boy's anger right now and he definitely didn't want to bear witness to the fear that he'd put on the blonde's face.

Walking forward as well, Stan looked at Craig, his brown eyes calm. "I just want to say, Craig," the Ranger said, his tone not exactly helpful but definitely kinder than Craig would have expected. "Tweek would have done fine. You're being stupid."

"That's what everyone keeps telling me," Craig muttered in return, an eyebrow rising. Why everyone seemed to need to inform him that he was making a bad choice was beyond him at this point, but he didn't care. It was just another fight. Drawing his knives, Craig prepared himself and added, "But I think I can hold my own." A bluff, but who was counting.

From the dais, there was the sound of clapping at the gathered boys fell silent, Elves and Humans alike looking up at Cartman, who was standing and holding his staff high to draw attention to himself. "Elves, Humans, this festival has been nothing short of successful," the boy said, looking over the crowds with those naturally cruel eyes. "Of course, now is the moment you've all been waiting for. The entertainment of the night."

From the side of the ring, Jimmy walked forward and said, "F-f-fighters, the duel will last until one of y-y-you has been r-rendered unconscious by the other." When both Stan and Craig nodded, Jimmy gave a smile and said, "V-very well then. Let the battle be- b-b-beg- Let the battle b-begin."

Instantly, Craig moved. Feet scraping over the pavement, the Noirette lunged in, ducking low in an attempt to get in a quick hit. Of course, Stan was waiting for him, his wooden sword already coming up and blocking Craig's strike. The sound of wood against wood sounded just about as hollow as Craig felt.

Around them, the boys let out cheers as Stan slashed at Craig, a strike which the boy just barely dodged. Ducking around Stan, using his speed to his advantage, Craig threw himself at the boy's unguarded side and managed to land a hit, however glancing. With a growl, Stan retaliated, sweeping his sword down and catching Craig across the back.

Rolling out of the way of further damage, Craig cursed under his breath. He could hear humans and Elves alike yelling out encouragement for both of them but he forced himself to tune it out.  _I can't lose health, I don't have anywhere as much as him._  Shielding himself with one blade, Craig moved back in and struck several times in quick succession, but each strike was blocked by Stan.

"You can't do this dude," Stan called, gritting his teeth as he swung at Craig's head, a move which the Noirette only just dodged. The boy wasn't giving an inch of ground and already Craig felt like he couldn't see a way in.  _Damnit, he's too good at this._  "You're going to lose, I told you, this was a stupid idea."

"Fuck off," Craig growled in return, darting past Stan and managing to land a critical hit on Stan's back. Spinning around, Stan swung viciously and Craig only just got his blades up in time to defend himself. He could hear people gasping and screaming but Craig couldn't tell what was positive and what wasn't, it all sounded like the roaring of a faceless monster. Feinting to the side, Craig struck for Stan's left and never saw the boy's blade until it hit against his arm, leaving a bruise and definitely taking far more health points than he had to spare.

"You've been acting weird all day," Stan pushed out through gritted teeth, preforming a series of lunges that Craig only just managed to counter. The bruise on his back flared up with pain at the movement and suddenly Craig found himself wide open to an attack. Taking the opportunity, Stan slashed at him with a growl of, "It's fucking weird Craig."

 _Fuck, he's noticed it too._  Blocking the hit but still taking damage, Craig deadpanned back, "I'm fine, why do you  _care."_  The last word of his sentence was punctuated with a strike to Stan's neck that he managed to land. The boy was definitely slower, but considering how little damage he was doing, Craig knew that his chances were looking slimmer and slimmer by the second.

"Because it's weird!" Stan exclaimed in return, as if this was a good reason. Drawing back for a moment, Stan took a strong stance and blocked the hits that Craig attempted to level at him easily. It was a losing battle and Craig knew it but he threw everything into it, even as Stan managed to kick out one of his knees, forcing him to roll to the side or get hit again. Standing up even though his leg was throbbing, Craig few again at Stan.

"I don't give a shit," Craig growled, managing to get a knife around Stan's throat. With a grunt, Stan shoved Craig off of him and landed a strike across the boy's ribs driving some of the air out of his lungs. Couching, feeling his body protesting this fight after the stress he'd already forced it to deal with today, Craig only just barely managed to get his knife up in time to block Stan's next hit.

"This is pointless," Stan told him, his blade flashing around Craig's head. The boy couldn't even begin to block the strike to the side of his head, which made his ears ring. "You're losing!"

"I know!" Craig pushed out through gritted teeth. Throwing himself at Stan, even though there was no way he could strike from this angle, Craig felt the boy's sword drive the remaining air from his body and didn't bother to fight it. As he went stumbling back over the pavement, he struggled to see straight.  _It's all for Tweek, as long as Tweek's okay…_

But then he saw something that made his whole body freeze up. Tweek, standing on the edge of the ring, his eyes wide with fear and panic. His mouth was open in a scream but Craig couldn't hear it, all he could do was stare at the boy and realize fully that he'd been the one to put it there.  _God, what am I doing?_  A moment later, he felt Stan's blade hit his throat, bruising it almost instantly as the brown-eyed boy pushed him over.  _I lost,_  he thought numbly, but he couldn't care less because his mind was screaming at him and all he could see was that look on Tweek's face.

As Stan raised his sword and the Elves cheered, Craig stared at the sky and felt misery seep into his bones. Because in the end, he couldn't protect Tweek, all he could do was make it worse and watch helplessly as the blond got hurt.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to Telesthesia for writing Jimmy's little ditty. She wrote one about Tweek and Craig as well and it's brilliant. Trust me, it'll appear in a later chapter.
> 
> Also, MY POOR BABIES CRAIG YOU FUCK WIT!!


	44. But Your Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I already feel ridiculous. What are we up to, three chapters?
> 
> I really hope they all turned out alright. Most of them were written on little to no sleep XD I hope it was worth it, I'm not doing that again for a while. I guess I just underestimated the power of your collective awesomeness.
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek was screaming even before Craig went down. He'd been watching in abject fear as Craig fought Stan and lost more and more ground every second. Every strike Stan had landed drew blood, carving Craig to pieces and yet the boy had kept fighting, determination shining in his eyes. Except Tweek knew that wasn't what was driving Craig, no, there was something else behind those blue eyes that was pushing the Noirette to do stupid things.

It had really become obvious when Craig had taken Tweek's place in the Gladiator's ring, but it had been there before, Tweek felt. There was darkness in Craig's eyes that he didn't understand and no matter what he did, he couldn't seem to make it go away. Probably, it was the reason that Craig had fought Chris Donnelly earlier, even when that boy was more powerful than him and had almost beaten him.

He'd been upset about it because he didn't want to see Craig get hurt and yet he'd been forced to let the boy go against Stan, who was clearly going to kill him. Then he'd talked to the boy and been furious because all he'd seen was Craig's stupid idea that he was somehow going to protect Tweek when the boy really should be standing up for himself. He'd tried to get Craig to understand that, screamed at him, but Craig had been so  _stubborn._  Tweek hadn't been able to get the words out in a sensible manner and Craig seemed bent on being as obtuse as possible

And now the Noirette was laying there on the ground bleeding out and Tweek couldn't decide whether he wanted to cry, run, or scream at Craig for being an idiot. Clyde still had a hand on his shoulder, something about keeping him from running in to stop the fight. He didn't blame the boy for thinking he would, Tweek had  _wanted_  to, no matter how stupid the idea was. But now that it was over, Tweek needed to get over to Craig, needed to make his head stop spinning.

He was still so  _angry_  because if Craig had just listened, he wouldn't have gotten hurt at all, but there was nothing he could do now that it was over, no magic way to reverse what had been done. Now Craig was hurt and Tweek was powerless to help him.  _Why does he keep doing this? Why does he keep defending me? Why does he think I can't handle myself?! WHY DOES HE ALWAYS LOOK SO GUILTY I DON'T GET IT I DON'T GET HIM I WANT OUT!_

Trembling harder, Tweek let out a strangled sound as Stan raised his sword to more cheers from the crowd and Craig coughed weakly, blood from his various injuries staining the ground. He just wanted Craig to be okay, why didn't the Noirette understand that? Tweek liked having Craig around but he didn't want the boy to put himself in unnecessary danger all the time, especially for him. There was no reason for him to practically throw himself onto Stan's blade, it was just stupidity. Just stubbornness that Tweek would never  _never_  understand.

"I think that we h-h-have a victor!" Jimmy announced, walking forward and standing beside Stan. "Th-the Elves have w-w-w-won." As the Humans booed and made disappointed or disgusted sounds, the Elves whooped and cheered, their pride in Stan clear. Even Kyle was smirking, a small smile that he seemed to be sharing only with Stan. Tweek just shook his head, trying to get it out of his head.  _Please, just do something about Craig!_

With a great sigh, Cartman said, "Well, that was frankly disappointing. Feldspar, I expected better of you." Waving his hand, he muttered, "Someone had better get him out of there before he dies or something." Instantly, both Token and Butters strode into the ring and headed for Craig. A moment later, Tweek managed to shake Clyde's grip loose and he raced for Craig.

Almost falling face first onto the horribly injured boy, Tweek grabbed fistfuls of his hair and screeched, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?" Pulling hard enough to make his head ache, Tweek trembled and twitched as he stared down at Craig, who gave another cough before shrugging, the action making him wince. Though his expression was as flat as ever, Tweek could see the guilt in his eyes and it pissed him off more.

"NO! Y-You don't get to do things like this!" Tweek screeched, his glare full of all the force he could through behind it. "I t-told you that Stan was way stronger than you!" Dropping to his knees beside Craig, hardly caring when he got in Butters' way, Tweek trembled as he looked over the boy spread out over the ground. "Y-You're almost dead!"

Craig's eyes just got that much more guilty and Tweek hated it. He had so much anger building up in his body and he had no idea what to do with it. Slowly, Craig reached a hand up but lying on the ground like he was, he couldn't reach Tweek's hair. Just that action alone made Tweek want to scream.  _HOW CAN YOU ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT!?_  "WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS?!" Tweek demanded, biting his lip until it started to bleed. "YOU'RE SO S-STUPID!"

"Tweek, we need to move him out of the ring." At the sound of Token's calm voice, Tweek's head flew up and he twitched hard to one side. He wanted to bang his head on something, just to dislodge the terrified and angry thoughts racing about up there. "Tweek, it's over. Once I've healed him, he'll be fine."

"NO! IT'S NOT –RRR- FINE!" Tweek yelled, frantic.  _Why am I the only one who understands that? Why am I the only one who understands how_ not  _okay this whole thing is?!_  "HE KEEPS DOING STUPID THINGS! WHY DOES HE K-KEEP DOING STUPID THINGS?!" Tweek wasn't sure if he was going to cry or tear something apart. But he didn't want it to be Craig so he scrambled back, hating himself and hating the Noirette for acting like an idiot.

"At least your fine," Craig said softly, his voice surprising Tweek out of some of his wild thoughts. Twitching hard, staring down at the boy, Tweek felt his mouth fall open in absolute disbelief.  _Why is that the only thing he cares about? Doesn't he care about himself? Why is it just me? Why can't he go back to how it used to be! I don't need him to throw himself in front of me to keep me safe, I need him to stand beside me and make me strong! THIS ISN'T HELPING!_

"THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE!" Tweek shrieked. Tearing at his hair, Tweek let out a moan of pure frustration and pushed out, "YOU'RE HURT BECAUSE OF –NGH- ME! I j-just want you to go back to normal Craig! S-stop doing stupid things!" Getting to his feet, needing to get some air, Tweek stumbled away from Craig, who stared after him, which didn't help a damn thing.

As Token and Butters both started casting spells over Craig, Tweek clenched the handle of his club. He just wished he could show Craig that he didn't need to be protected like this! He'd broken the boy out of school! He'd fought the Elves and saved Craig's life! And yet when it came to something like this, Craig thought he was helpless.  _WHY DOES HE THINK I'M HELPLESS?!_  As golden magic enveloped Craig, Tweek drew in a shuddering breath. At least the boy wasn't dying anymore.

Though admittedly, what was left behind didn't look much better. Craig looked battered and bruised in all kinds of ways, the lack of bloody gashes really didn't make much of a difference. As Butters attempted to help Craig out of the ring before the boy shook him off and limped towards Tweek, the blond shivered and trembled. He didn't want this. He didn't want Craig to think that this was okay. He couldn't  _handle_  watching Craig end up a bloody mess again, not when it was his fault. It wasn't fair! Craig shouldn't be allowed to do this to him!

"Look," Craig said softly, spreading out his arms, even though it made him wince to do so. "I'm fine." He looked so unaffected that Tweek really did scream. The sound made Craig's brows furrow, which only pissed Tweek off more because  _why couldn't the boy show more emotion!?_ Why did Tweek have to be the only one losing his mind while Craig could look like he was fine except for the guilt in his eyes which was still there!

"Y-you're not fine!" Tweek snapped, backing away from Craig, unable to help himself from being furious. He needed to get this out somehow and he didn't know how. "I'M NOT FINE!" Shivering, grabbing the handle of his club in an attempt to steady himself, Tweek pushed out, "Why do you keep doing this?"

Taking a deep breath, Craig asked, "Doing what," as if he didn't know what he was doing. Shaking, Tweek shook his head, trying to force the words to order themselves. They wouldn't, Tweek didn't know what he was supposed to say. He just wanted Craig to be okay and he wanted the boy to stop acting like he was Tweek's savior when all he was doing was getting hurt over and over and over again. Looking into Craig's eyes, Tweek searched for the strength and calm he needed from the boy.

But all he found was that horrible, clawing guilty. "That!" Tweek screeched, pointing a shivering finger at Craig. "L-looking at me like you're guilty w-when you haven't done anything wrong! Throwing yourself in front of me when I don't need you to! Acting stupid and getting hurt! I can't handle it! I can't handle you getting h-hurt it's too mUCH PRESSURE!" The words seemed to trigger something in Craig, which made the boy's eyes go from guilty to guarded.  _WHY CAN'T HE JUST UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY?! DO I HAVE TO SHOW HIM?!_

"I'm not acting stupid, I'm not guilty," Craig countered, even though he very clearly was on both counts. It was so infuriating that Tweek almost let out another scream. Vaguely, he was aware that the two of them were drawing attention to themselves, including Stan's. Kyle and Cartman were too busy arguing about something to pay attention, but everyone else was staring and it only made Tweek panic more. "I know that you're capable, I've seen you."

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU ACT LIKE IT!?" Shaking his head like a dog, Tweek glared at Craig, who just stared back with that same flat blank expression like nothing got through to him. But it wasn't calming, it was infuriating because  _Craig's_  calm was gone, there was something wrong and he wouldn't tell Tweek and he kept getting hurt and Tweek just wanted to prove that he was okay on his own. "Why won't you –rrr- let me fight my own battles? Why!?"

"I do," Craig argued. "But this wasn't your battle. This was a fucking stupid-"

"The only one b-being stupid is you!" Focusing in on Stan, who was still standing there, still bleeding from his own injuries, a dumbfounded look on his face, Tweek knew what he had to do.  _If Craig can't admit that he can't take me seriously, if Craig has to protect me from things that I don't need to be protected from, then I'm going to_ prove _to him that I'm fine!_  Clenching his fists, Tweek walked forward, pushing past Craig when the boy tried to get in his way.

Drawing his short sword, Tweek twitched as he pointed it at Stan, who just blinked at him. "I WANT TO FIGHT YOU!" Tweek announced, his voice as loud as he could make it. He didn't care that it sounded horribly high pitched and squeaky, it did what he wanted because at once, everyone started to murmur and Kyle and Cartman finally stopped arguing so they could look at him. When no one else said anything, Tweek continued, "I was supposed to fight you in th-the first place so let me fight you for real!"

"Tweek, the fight is over," Stan pointed out, looking down at him with furrowed brows. Tweek couldn't tell what was going on behind the boy's eyes but he could guess.  _He thinks I'm crazy, they all think I'm crazy! Even Craig must think I'm crazy by now. I don't care! I'm going to fight him. Screw everyone else! Isn't that what Craig always says? Why can't I say it too?_  "Dude, Craig lost, I'm not going to fight you."

Of all people, it was Kyle who spoke up. "Hold on, Tweek's right. It was supposed to be him against Stan." There was more murmuring from the other kids, though Tweek couldn't make out what they were saying. The blood rushing in his ears was too loud, it drowned everything else out. Unwilling to back down or be cowed, Tweek summoned up more of that seemingly endless anger that Craig had created within him and stood strong, even though he twitched as he did so.

"But Feldspar kind of did step in," Cartman pointed out, crossing his arms and staring at Kyle with a glare as if his only objective was to be contrary. "I don't know, I think I'd rather listen to some bardic music or something." Feeling worry start to creep into his mind, Tweek forced it out and instead glared at Stan, not letting Cartman's words take away his determination.

"Heal Stan and let me fight him!" Tweek demanded, loud enough so that everyone could hear him. Kyle was nodding slowly, and Stan was looking at him as though Tweek was a weird thing someone might find at the circus, but the blond cared about neither of them. All he thought about was the guilt in Craig's eyes and the helpless anger that watching the Noirette take his place in the fight against Stan had brought him.

"You know," started the playful voice of Princess Kenny, who had somehow found his way back up onto the dais with Kyle and Cartman. "In the interests of keeping the peace, I think that we should let Tweek and Stan fight. After all, we wouldn't want this to turn into some kind of war or something." The way he said it, it was clear he was mocking Cartman and Kyle, but Tweek seized onto the boy's words regardless.  _Yes, just let me fight Stan and prove to Craig that I'm not helpless!_

Letting out a huff, Cartman drawled, "Well, I suppose it wouldn't be the worst use of our time. What do you think, oh High Jew Elf?" He sneered at Kyle, but Tweek just fixed his eyes on a point above the horizon and struggled to keep from shaking too hard.

"I say they should fight," Kyle muttered, sounding disgruntled. Looking down at Stan, the boy asked, "Stan? Are you willing to fight Tweek?"

Frowning at Tweek, Stan said, "Yeah, I guess. It's stupid but whatever."

"Well then, get him healed then let the fight begin!" Kenny announced, grinning widely behind a dainty hand.

Now that he was certain of getting what he wanted, Tweek turned to look at Craig. The boy was staring at him, his mouth open and his eyes full of emotions that Tweek couldn't name. Feeling his irritation well up once more, Tweek walked over to him, his footsteps sure. Looking up at Craig, Tweek said in as firm a voice as he could manage, "Watch m-me, Craig. Watch me."

Without waiting for the boy to respond, Tweek turned around jerkily and walked towards the middle of the ring, drawing his club as he went. He was going to fight and he was going to win and then Craig would never be able to say that he was helpless again. Never! Then maybe Tweek could have back the old Craig back who let him be strong and was there to keep him from falling over when he started to get scared. Right now though, that felt hopeless, so Tweek was prepared to settle with proving himself once and for all.

As Stan walked forward, his sword already drawn, Tweek narrowed his eyes and let out a growl. Stan was bruised a bit, but he looked much better than Craig did, which made Tweek feel like this was a fair fight. He'd been through one battle today and so had Stan. It was as even as it was going to get and it was about all he could hope for. Letting the frustration that had been building up fill him, Tweek tightened his grip on his club and stared at Stan, not an ounce of fear in his body.

Not anymore. There wasn't any room for it. Just like the time he'd faced Craig in a fight, Tweek felt nothing but frustration and stress from the whole situation and he was ready to let it out. Walking forward, Jimmy said, "Well, it l-l-looks like we get some m-more entertainment. How unexp-p-p- How unexpec- c- What a happy coincidence." Looking between both Tweek and Stan, Jimmy said, "Now, if you're both r-r-r-ready. One, Two, Th-thr-r-r- Three."

Tweek struck.

Swinging his club up with a scream of frustration, Tweek though,  _HE NEVER LISTENS WHEN I NEED HIM TOO!_  As Stan raised his sword to block him, Tweek changed directions and pulled his blow, aiming instead for Stan's unprotected side. The club connected, knocking Stan back several paces. Feeling satisfaction shoot through him, Tweek lunged forward again, all of his stress translating into quick movements.

 _I just want to show him that I'm worth something!_  Stan's sharp blade nicked Tweek's cheek but he was already moving, swinging at the Ranger's head this time.  _I just want things to go back to the way they used to be!_  When the Elven boy blocked his strike, Tweek let out another growl and swung to the other side, managing to hit Stan's head, even though the boy was fast enough to avoid the worst of it.

Refusing to look at Craig, even though he could see the familiar blue chullo and cloak out of the corner of his eye, Tweek danced around Stan, each blow carrying vast quantities of stress that had been building up since lunch.  _Since the sixth-grader attacked me!_  The moment he realized it, Tweek's mind started to understand.  _He's guilty because he couldn't protect me then. He's trying to protect me now!_  Well Tweek had forgiven Craig for that and he wasn't going to let the Noirette screw everything up now.

Attacking Stan with newfound vigor, Tweek poured all the fear he'd felt when facing the sixth-grader into these moments, using that manic energy to strike harder, fight better. Stan kept blocking him, but he slipped up every now and then and Tweek was always there, dealing harsh blows to the boy. He could feel Stan's blade biting into his skin but it wasn't enough to stop him, not when he was so determined, so focused.

Managing to deal several quick hits to Stan's ribs, Tweek darted back to avoid the slash to his chest. It was clear that Stan was getting desperate but that just meant that Tweek was winning. His hands were full of power and his mind was nothing but a constant stream of frustration and stress. Releasing it felt good, fighting felt good and Tweek felt vindicated as he realized that he was winning.  _See Craig! If you'd have just let me fight, everything would have been fine!_

Though he knew full well he shouldn't, the blond turned towards Craig for the barest fraction of a second. Tweek half expected to see pride on the boy's face, maybe even a look of understanding as it dawned on him why Tweek could handle himself. But what he found instead made something in him want to tear everything apart. Craig wasn't even looking at him, instead, the boy's eyes were fixed on the ground, a frustrated look in his gaze.

 _You aren't even watching?_  As the injustice of it all pressed down on him, Tweek let out another banshee screech and launched himself at Stan. He didn't mean to take out his anger on the boy but it had been this whole stupid fight that had made everything so terrible so Tweek felt justified. Even if Stan was good, there was no way he would have been able to protect himself against Tweek at that moment. Stan might have had experience, but Tweek had pure, unadulterated rage.

Striking at him relentlessly, Tweek managed to hit Stan's hand with his club, causing him to lose his hold on his sword. Suddenly rendered defenseless, Stan could only attempt to retreat as Tweek advanced towards him. With two short bursts of angered growls, Tweek struck out one of Stan's legs then the other, driving the boy to the ground. Drawing his short sword with his free hand, Tweek swung it around and stopped it just short of taking Stan's head off.

For a moment, he stood there panting, standing over the thoroughly beaten Stan, a furious scowl still on his face.  _Did you see that Craig? Did you see me that time? Do you believe that I can handle myself now?_  Around them, the other kids were silent. Unlike when Stan had beaten Craig, no one cheered for Tweek, everyone just stared, silent.

With a growl, Tweek pulled his sword back from Stan's throat. Turning away from the Elf, the blond stalked over to the edge of the ring, heading straight towards Craig. The boy was staring at him, conflicting emotions warring for control over his expression. Before the boy could even begin to open his mouth Tweek twitched hard and hissed, "Never  _never_  fight my fights for me again."

Craig looked like he wanted to say something, but Tweek didn't want to hear it. He just pushed past all of them, sheading his weapons as he went. Dropping the belt that had his Mongorian bow and quiver full of arrows, Tweek took a moment more to undo the belt that held his club and sword, but managed it too at last. Letting that fall to the ground as well, Tweek just kept walking, right through the gate and out of the park. The moment he was out, he felt a horrible, miserable and tearing sensation well up in his throat and without another word he broke into a run, slipping and skidding on the ground as he put as much distance between himself and the others as possible.

 _I screwed everything up, he's going to hate me forever._  Squishing his eyes closed against the thought, Tweek ran harder, no rhyme or reason to his direction, just the need to get away driving him.  _Craig is going to hate me and it's all my fault. I made him upset, I acted horribly. He's going to never talk to me again._

All Tweek had wanted was the old Craig back, the one who stood beside him and caught him when he was about to fall down, the one who was strong when he wasn't and inspired him to be brave by doing so.

But he wasn't going to get him back now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHA! Angst.
> 
> Sorry, it had to happen. Tweek needed to show he was an independent young coffee bean.


	45. Real Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, such angst, much wow. It's OK, I'm here to relieve you.
> 
> Merry Christmas once again!!!
> 
> Enjoy.

"You know," Kyle said in a hoarse voice. "I think that Tweek won that one." It was quite possibly the most useless thing the boy could have said, but Craig was too far gone to give a shit anymore.

He'd fucked up. He knew that he'd fucked up. He'd known that he'd fucked up from the moment that Stan had beaten him but he hadn't known to what extent until Tweek decided to challenge Stan, just to prove Craig wrong.  _God, he's pissed at me._

Speaking of Stan, the boy was still sitting on the ground, no doubt stunned into inaction like the rest of the people who'd been watching. Tweek had been a demon, after all, nothing short of a monster. He'd attacked with such a single-minded ferocity that he'd left everyone too shocked to even speak. Craig's silence was in part because of that, but it was in part because of how everything had been hitting him at once.

 _This is my fault. Again. It's always my fault that Tweek is upset, I'm always the reason he's hurting or scared or stressed. It's always my fault._  Except it was more than that. Craig had finally realized just how stupid he'd been acting all day.

Because it had taken watching Tweek beat the shit out of Stan to realize that Craig had been suffocating Tweek by trying to keep him safe. So terrified had he been that there would be another incident where Tweek wasn't strong enough to fight back and Craig wouldn't be able to save him that the Noirette had inadvertently fucked up everything else trying to keep it from happening. Now Tweek was gone, run off to goodness knew where and Craig hadn't been able to do a thing to stop him.

 _Never,_ never  _fight my fights for me again._  That's what he'd said to Craig, right? That was proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was Craig's fault that this whole mess had happened at all. And yet Tweek had done amazingly, far better than Craig or in fact anyone had thought that he would. He'd beaten Stan handily and hardly taken any damage himself. But it wasn't just game stats that had hit Craig hard, no, it had been the yells of fury that Tweek had kept letting loose with that had gotten him.

Craig knew why he'd been upset, Tweek had  _told_  him why he was upset without qualms, and yet Craig had deliberately ignored him, just so he could play the hero when he'd never been the hero in his whole life.  _That's not my position. I'll never be a hero, I'll never be someone Tweek can look up to. Hell, I don't even know if Tweek is ever going to look at me again after how I've acted._  It made Craig feel sick to his stomach. It made him want to hurt something.

It made him want to find Tweek and beg for forgiveness, even though he was Craig Tucker and he didn't beg for shit from anyone.

But he'd beg for this. It hardly even factored into his head that this was fourth grade and really he shouldn't be dealing with things like this, Craig just wanted Tweek by his side again. As his equal, not something that he had to protect from things that weren't even there.  _What did I say to Mr. Mackey? What did I tell Tweek? I said that he's a wreck and I like him that way. I fucking do! Why did I forget that so easily? Fuck, I've screwed everything up for good this time._

From somewhere in the crowd, a kid called, "I- I think he left for good." Craig didn't even twitch at the words because he knew they were true. Tweek was gone, he'd managed to drive away the one person that he cared about.  _Because I care about him, don't I? Fuck…_

Beside him, Clyde whistled softly. "Geeze, I didn't think he got that mad." Craig almost nodded in agreement, but he was pretty sure his muscles were too frozen to do anything so instead he just stared at the spot where Tweek had vanished and cursed his own stupidity and stubbornness till he ran out of words.

"Well," Cartman said, sounding actually impressed for once, if a little taken aback. "That was actually a little terrifying. Maybe we should have gone with the music instead."

"He would have fought whether you let him or not," Token said, moving up beside Clyde slowly, no doubt also stunned by Tweek's behavior. "Better to let him get it out than let it turn into a war." Token sounded so damn logical about the whole thing but Craig wanted to explode because that was Tweek they were talking about and it  _wasn't_  best to just let him scream and run. Craig should have listened to him the first time and never let it come to this.

A soft tutting came up from behind him and Kenny appeared at his shoulder, shaking his head as if he'd seen it all coming and he'd predicted it, which was bullshit. "What a shame," the Princess commented, twisting a finger in his hair absently. "You know Craig, I think you screwed the pooch on that one."

Shaken from his trance by Kenny's break of character, Craig found himself softly croaking, "What do I do?" Why he was asking Kenny's help was beyond him at this point, all he wanted was an answer. Just one damn answer to even one of his questions.

"I don't know, what do you think?" Kenny answered back, just as softly. It was clear he was speaking for Craig's benefit alone. "I don't want to step in where I'm unwanted, but I'd say you owe it to Tweekers there to go after him."

 _He hates me though,_  was what Craig wanted to say.  _What kind of person goes after someone who clearly hates them?_  And yet, Kenny's words struck a chord with him. Maybe it wasn't a logical chord, but it hit him hard all the same, impacting him enough that he blinked and slowly turned to face the boy. "And if I can't find him?" he asked, unsure why this of all questions was the one that he brought up.

Clicking his tongue, Kenny cranked an eyebrow up and said, "Then keep looking till you do find him, Tucker. He's your friend, you're a pretty shitty one if you don't at least make the effort." Looking back towards where Tweek had run off too, Craig drew in a deep, steadying breath. He was still so uncertain, he had no idea if this was a good idea, but at the same time, he felt like it was the  _right_  idea.

What really solidified it though was when Clyde nudged Craig's side and said, "Don't leave Teacup alone, I'm worried about him." Looking to his oldest friend, Craig made up his mind. It was the only decision that he could make, considering.

Walking through the path that Tweek had cut through the other kids, Craig passed by the table they'd been sitting at earlier and snatched Tweek's thermos up before walking along methodically, gathering up the boy's other arms and armaments as he went. Shouldering the bow, Craig hooked the pot to his own belt and simply carried the sword. He must have looked ridiculous, but he didn't much care.

"Now that that's over, why don't we go back to the festival!" Cartman announced as Craig reached the gate. As everyone shook themselves from their dazes and started going back to what they were doing before, Craig left the park, following the boot prints Tweek had left on the ground. There weren't actually all that many to follow, but Craig just settled on going in the direction they pointed to until something stopped him. It wasn't like he had a better idea.

As he passed through the open field, Craig wondered if Tweek had just headed back home. He thought that maybe he should check, but something told him that Tweek wouldn't have gone there if he needed to calm down.  _There's too much stress at his house for it to be calm._  So Craig just kept walking, his eyes slowly scanning everything for a glimpse of golden hair and striped skin.

Maybe, if he hadn't been such an idiot, this wouldn't have happened, but Craig wasn't sure if there was a magic answer for how this whole mess could have been averted. As far as he could tell, it had been inevitable. It sounded terrible, but Craig was pretty sure it was true. Goodness knew he'd been a stubborn ass, and Tweek wasn't the kind of person who could just blurt out what was bothering him. No, his mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.

Really, Craig should have noticed what he was doing and put a stop to it before it had a chance to get worse, but at this point, he wasn't sure if that had ever been an option. Maybe they were just destined for this?  _What was it that Token said? That we're destined to stick to each other like glue or explode spectacularly?_  Well, apparently Token had been right because they'd definitely exploded this time.

Turning into the forest on a whim, not caring that he was technically on Elven territory, Craig cast his eyes skyward and stared up at the setting sun. It was too soon to get dark, that's what his mind kept telling him as the light streamed through the trees and dappled the ground below. It was too soon for the stars to come out if Tweek wasn't there to stare up at them with him. But Craig was just an insignificant speck of dust to the universe and the earth turned whether he liked it or not.

Feeling his chest grow heavy, Craig remembered how Tweek had said the same when he'd stared at the sky. Right after telling Craig that he was alone, he'd said that no one would notice if he vanished. It had hurt because the Noirette had felt the same on numerous occasions, had stared at his ceiling while lying on the floor thinking those same thoughts as the pain from his latest bruises seeped into his heart. He'd always thought that saying things like that was normal but then Tweek had said it and he'd been able to understand that it wasn't okay, it was wrong. It was painful and it wasn't true.

So he'd told Tweek that he'd be there. Maybe not in as many words, but that had been his meaning all the same. It didn't matter how angry Tweek was with him or how much the blond hated his guts, Craig would always remember him. Even if Tweek told him to fuck off tonight, Craig wouldn't give up that easily. Because if he didn't have Tweek with him… Well, Craig didn't know, but he feared the possibility enough that he refused to even think about it.

 _I keep acting like it's Tweek who needs me, but I think I need him more._  Craig doubted he'd ever be able to think so clearly about it again, but he let the thought sink in and sit in the back of his brain. He'd forget it, it would slip from his thought processes after this, only to crop up every now and then. But it would always be there, the knowledge that no matter how damaged Tweek was, the blond was still a rock to Craig. Something to cling to in a world of things that he hated and that hated him.

Coming to the creek, Craig carefully crossed it, not wanting to fall in and get wet. Not that it would have sent him home or anything, but it would have made him a little bit more miserable. Pressing on, letting his feet take him where they wanted, Craig wondered if Tweek was thinking about him, cursing his name. Or maybe he was feeling something like Craig was. Lost. Helpless. Upset with no way of fixing things.

Or maybe he was projecting. He was pretty sure Mr. Mackey had mentioned something like that during one of their many talks.

Walking on, Craig found himself walking in a specific direction. He wasn't sure why he'd chosen this path of all of them, but he vaguely remembered it as the one he'd taken when he was taking Tweek out to teach him to climb.  _Yet another thing he's capable of doing without my help. So why was I so quick to act like Tweek was helpless?_  He already knew why, rolling it over and over in his mind wouldn't do him any good now.

Tweek's thermos was still warm.

Craig wondered why the night had to feel so cold.

As he reached the twisted old oak that Tweek had first climbed, Craig once again raised his eyes skyward. Something in him jumped when he saw golden hair reflecting in the dying light. Throat growing tight, Craig cleared his throat.

"AUGH JESUS!"  _Just like the first time I talked to him._  Tweek's bright green eyes looked down at him, the emotion swirling in them taking Craig's breath away. There was so much pain and regret in those orbs that he almost wanted to break down himself. But he didn't. Instead, he simply looked at the boy and tried to communicate with a look everything that had been running through his mind while he looked for the boy.

But maybe could read him because the boy jerked around, pulling his face out of view. "W-what are you doing here?" the boy asked, his voice muffled like he had his face buried in his knees. Heart pulling, Craig clenched his jaw and tried to fit everything that he was feeling into a few words. He wasn't used to feeling this much, but that's what Tweek did to him. He made Craig feel a million uncomfortable things that he didn't necessarily want to feel, and yet he made him chase those feelings like an addict.

So in the end, all he said was, "Looking for you." Tweek let out a soft, involuntary noise at that. Craig didn't even need to see the boy to know he was shaking. When Tweek didn't scream at him to get away, Craig took a breath and hooked his chin around Tweek's thermos so he could climb the tree. Flipping up into it without dropping anything, Craig kept his head tucked down around the warm metal of Tweek's thermos, partly so he didn't drop it, partly so he could avoid looking at Tweek for as long as possible.

Reaching the level right below Tweek, Craig chose a branch that was as close to the blond as possible before settling down, hooking Tweek's sword over a broken stump of a branch before taking Tweek's thermos out from under his chin. Pinning it between his knees, feeling Tweek's eyes on him as he moved, Craig calmly reattached Tweek's pan to his belt before taking off the boy's bow and quiver, adding those to the growing collection. Finally unladen, Craig looked up at Tweek.

The boy was staring at him, his mouth slightly open. Craig wondered if he was imagining the tear tracks that streaked down Tweek's face before wondering if maybe it was that the tears were missing from his own eyes. Whatever it was, Craig pushed it aside so he could speak, his voice strong and clear.

"I fucked up." Tweek didn't say anything, just twitched and let out another small noise. Drawing in another slow breath, Craig continued, "I felt guilty because I couldn't protect you from that shitty sixth-grader, and I let that ruin everything else." The moment he'd said it, a weight lifted off his chest. It wasn't everything, but it made him feel fifty pounds lighter.

"Y-you didn't fuck up," Tweek said in a small voice, his eyes focused on Craig like he was going to cry again. Craig wished he could have ruffled Tweek's hair, but he had no idea if he'd even be allowed to, so it was probably best that he couldn't reach up that high. "I couldn't even tell you what was wrong, I was s-so –ngh- stupid about the whole thing."

"You told me just fine," Craig said, his eyes softening even if his expression didn't change. "I just wasn't listening." Turning away from the boy, focusing on a point in the middle distance, Craig pulled at his chullo before admitting, "I don't like to see you hurt."

"I don't like to see  _you_  hurt!" Tweek squeaked at once, sounding almost nervous. "Jesus man, th-this game isn't just a game, okay? I kn-now that I'm imagining stuff –rrr- b-but it doesn't feel imaginary when I see you bleeding out on the ground, okay?" The words made Craig's heart do something unpleasant and he couldn't help but rub at it, as if he could make the pain just go away. It didn't, it just reminded him how cold it was out there.

"Okay," Craig just answered instead. He knew that Tweek sometimes saw things that weren't real, but he figured that was okay because he often didn't believe some real things existed. Feeling the need to say it, if only to say it and get it out there, Craig softly told Tweek, "I won't fight your battles anymore. You're strong, you can protect yourself."

"I'm glad that y-you're around!" Tweek insisted quickly, as if he was worried Craig had the wrong idea. "I mean, I was really happy when you –ghn- b-beat up Cartman. I would never have been able to do something like that man, never." He was quiet for a moment, and Craig could hear him fighting, even without looking at the boy. "I can't always do that, not care, like you do. B-but when you're with me, I feel strong."

"When you're around me," Craig said softly, watching as the stars started to come out, hardly visible in the still light sky. "I feel like the world isn't so shitty after all." When Tweek twitched beside him, Craig calmly handed the boy up his thermos. He didn't unscrew it, but he did it on purpose, having a feeling that doing something like that would be a bit counterproductive. Tweek took it instantly, hardly fumbling at all to open the cap and take several sips of coffee.

"It's okay Craig," Tweek said suddenly, looking down at the boy, who stared into those lamp-like eyes with his mouth half-open. "The world is really really big, and the universe is even better. We're just dust, remember? That would be an awful lot of dust to be shitty." It struck Craig only after Tweek had finished speaking that he hadn't stuttered once, hadn't even twitched. "It's just this town," Tweek added. "Just these people."

Nodding in agreement, Craig softly said, "Someday we'll get out of South Park, just you wait. We'll get out of this fucked up town, away from our fucked up homes, and we can live somewhere else with our own fucked up minds." Tweek giggled, and Craig's chest warmed instantly.

"F-fucked up together," Tweek muttered, echoing his statement from earlier. Feeling the weight of those words hit him for a second time, Craig found himself falling to the side till he was leaning against Tweek's side. Though he kept one hand tangled around a branch, he leaned most of his weight against Tweek and it felt good to just relax there. As he lay there, Tweek's twitching slowly stilled till it was nothing but a shiver.

Unexpectedly, as they sat there in the quiet, Craig felt Tweek pull his hat off. A moment later, small, talented fingers started combing through his hair, leaving Craig with a feeling that he'd never really experienced before. As Tweek slowly went about undoing the tangles that Craig's perpetual hat hair left behind, the Noirette found his eyes closing.

In that moment, it was just them. Just them and the stars and Tweek's fingers in Craig's hair, fully calming the boy down for the first time since lunch. Humming under his breath, Craig found himself smiling, even though he couldn't pinpoint one particular thing he was happy about. It was just this situation, Tweek next to him, that made him happy. Tweek made him happy. Tweek made him feel.

Tweek made him care.

Token was right, he needed that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, but like, I'm not sure about the next two chapters cause they're full on angst. On the other hand, we've got those fun POVs coming up so yay!


	46. Freak Like Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as this Christmas draws to an end, I think that we can all say that this was very much worth it. I will never regret those nights of no sleep that it took to bring you this. You all deserved it.
> 
> I mean that in the good, not scary and threatening way, of course.
> 
> Enjoy.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

Tweek twitched and glanced around in surprise. Somehow, they'd already made it to his home, which was downright confusing to be perfectly honest. It was dark outside, entirely dark. Craig and he had spent quite a bit of time in the forest after all, silent and contemplative. They'd only decided to head home after Craig said something about his parents getting upset if he wasn't back in time. Tweek had imagined that it would take longer for them to get to his house, but it had taken an almost depressingly short amount of time.

Then again, they'd spent at least an hour just sitting up in the tree, calm, talking only when they felt like it. Tweek was still surprised it had happened at all, seeing as he'd been convinced that Craig would never speak to him again. Yet the boy had come, and things had returned to normal, the fog had cleared from Craig's eyes. It hadn't mattered that he'd ended up in tears, because the moment the Noirette had arrived, Tweek had known that it would be okay.

And he'd been right. Now they were standing outside of his house, Tweek's hand tucked into Craig's, just like normal.

"Y-yeah," Tweek agreed, shivering slightly and tightening his fingers around his, now empty, thermos. "I guess so." Thinking back to what Mr. Mackey had said, Tweek twitched and muttered, "Jesus man, we're gonna be in so much trouble." _It's okay, I was rescuing Craig, I would do it again._  It was true, but that didn't stop him from trembling.

The other boy was silent for a moment, as if working out what he meant, then his hand ruffled Tweek's hair softly. "We'll live," Craig commented, looking down at Tweek calmly. For a moment, they just stood there, then Craig dropped Tweek's fingers and stuffed his hands into his pockets. Tweek's eyes gravitated to the bruises decorating Craig's face, but it was the boy's calm gaze that kept his attention from darting away.

Everything was okay again. Tweek  _knew_  that, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Raising an eyebrow, Craig sucked in his cheeks before spinning on his heels and ambling back down the street, leaving Tweek standing there outside his own house, watching him go. After a moment of silence that felt empty without Craig's presence to fill it, Tweek hurried inside, his hands fumbling with the spare key for a moment before he managed to unlock the door.

Quickly darting inside, worried as always that something was going to get in, Tweek slammed the door behind him before locking it. Turning to face the rest of the house, the blond only had a moment of peace before his stomach lurched uncomfortably. Sitting at the kitchen table, with those blank, smiling faces turned towards him, were Tweek's parents. Letting out a squeak, Tweek flattened himself against the door, wishing that he could just run outside again and catch Craig before he got too far away.

"Hello, son," Tweek's dad said amicably, still smiling. "Have a seat." He gestured to Tweek's usual place, which was empty of everything except a coffee mug that appeared to be full of fresh coffee. "We need to have a talk."  _Oh Jesus, what do they want to talk about? What did I do? It's too much pressure!_ But it wasn't like he could get out of it, not when both his mom and dad were watching him with those unaffected, unflinching smiles. Twitching, the blond let out an involuntary noise before walking forward reluctantly, shaking as he did so.

As he sat at the table, biting his lip to keep from screaming, Tweek vibrated in his chair as he looked between his mom and dad, waiting for them to do something. Suddenly remembering that he was still in full battle gear, courtesy of Craig bringing his things back to him, Tweek let out a strangled sound and frantically tried to rub the coffee stains off of his face, as if he was going to be able to do anything about them like this.  _Are they upset about me taking those coffee grounds? But they weren't going to use them? Why are they both here, they never do this!_

"Have some coffee Sweetie," his mother insisted, smiling and tilting her head slightly, her porcelain skin looking almost sickly in the artificial lights of the dining room. Jerking to the right, Tweek made a sound before grabbing for the coffee quickly and taking several big gulps of it. There was nothing intrinsically wrong with it, but Tweek felt like he could taste the fakeness of everything.  _Why are they staring at me?!_

"Tweek," his father started, the moment he'd put the mug back down. "Today we got a rather interesting call from the principal of your school." At those words, Tweek had to slap a hand over his mouth to hold back a screech. Shaking, mind filling with terror, Tweek went through everything that had happened today and started to feel viscerally sick.  _OH GOD, THEY KNOW WHAT I DID! THE PRINCIPAL TOLD THEM AND NOW THEY'RE GOING TO NEVER LET ME SEE DAYLIGHT AGAIN!_

"Principal Victoria said you broke another student out of detention," Tweek's mother supplied, her tone airy and winsome as if they were discussing the weather and not the blonde's imminent demise. "She said that you also beat up several ginger students."  _THEY JUST HAPPENED TO BE GINGER I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE OH GOD WHY DID THEY CALL MY PARENTS?!_

"Now son," Richard Tweak started, still smiling because of course he didn't care that his son was ripping his hair out and shaking like a leaf. "You're in sixth grade now. I understand that this age is a very confusing time, but this behavior is just unacceptable." Teeth creaking as he clenched them together, Tweek let out a whimper as he yanked on his hair.  _I'm not even in sixth grade, they don't even remember, why are they talking to me about this at all? Why are they so calm about it?!_

"B-but they were keeping Craig in the dungeon!" Tweek blurted out, instantly wanting to curl up and die for even opening his mouth. Yet he couldn't stop from babbling, "He –ghn- g-got detention for no reason! It was s-stupid! I had to rescue him." Finally managing to shut himself up Tweek's eyes flickered between his parents, waiting for them to say something but neither of them reacted to a word that he'd just said, they just kept  _staring_  at him.

"You know son, if you do things like this, I'll have to sell you into slavery," Tweek's father told him as if Tweek had never opened his mouth at all. "At least we'd make some money off of you that way." Tweek really did scream at that.  _JESUS, I CAN'T BE SOLD INTO SLAVERY! I'D NEVER SEE CRAIG AGAIN AND I'D BE ALL ALONE AND I'D DIE!_  Completely ignoring his son's outburst, Richard Tweak continued, "We could sell you to a coffee plantation, so you could pick coffee beans until your fingers fell off." He said it so placidly, Tweek felt his panic only getting worse.

"ACK! JESUS I'M SORRY!" Tweek screeched, what little he had in the way of nails scraping against his scalp, leaving long marks behind. "I –ngh- w-won't do it again, I swear!" Shivering, Tweek tried to get his breathing under control but he couldn't, his throat wouldn't work right. It was made all the worse because they just kept  _smiling_  and he was sure they were robots at this point because only robots would act like this.

"Tweek needs more coffee," Richard Tweek told his wife, not even looking down at Tweek's glass before saying so. As his mother hurried to comply, her absent demeanor not stopping her from performing the motions with perfect precision, Tweek let out a moan of terror. Even though his fingers felt frozen, the blond stared at his coffee and finally managed to let his hair go. Grabbing for the coffee once more, Tweek tightened his grip around the warm ceramic, trying to keep calm.

It was a losing battle.  _Oh god, what are they going to do to me?! Why do they have to choose now to remember they have a child?_  Tweek didn't know, he never knew, but that didn't change the fact that his father was smiling in a pleased way, as if all was right with the world.

After the silence had stretched on long enough for Tweek to wonder if they'd gotten stuck in a time loop, his dad moved, unfolding his hands from where they had been in front of him. "Son, let me tell you a story," his father suggested pleasantly, getting to his feet so he could stand behind Tweek's mother, who tilted her head again and blinked her doll eyes so perfectly. "When I was younger, I was quite the troublemaker myself. I'd always do stupid things that were petty and childish, but I thought were quite fun."

"It's true," his mother agreed in her high, floaty voice. "He was quite the rascal." Tweek shivered in his seat, unsure what he was supposed to do. He never understood his parent's stories, they never made a bit of sense, but maybe this time, they'd manage to put together one that he understood.

"Well, at one point, one of the other children convinced me to actually skip a class." Shaking his head as if disappointed by his own foolish youth, Richard Tweak continued, "Well, you can imagine that the teachers at my school were less than pleased with me. So they called me to the office and gave me a detention." Blinking, Tweek's dad smiled for a moment longer before grabbing for the mug of coffee that had been sitting before his own place and walking towards the kitchen with it.

Getting to her feet as well, Tweek's mother took her own cup as well as the coffee pot and started towards the kitchen, leaving Tweek in his seat, staring after them and twitching violently. "Well?" he squeaked, shivering as he sat there. "W-what happened?!"

"Oh, I think the principal ended up getting hit by a car and the school closed for a few days," Tweek's dad called from the other room, still as cheerful as ever. "Isn't that right?"

Looking to Tweek with a smile, his mom nodded slightly and said, "Yes, school was out for a week." As if this was a satisfactory ending to the story, they both vanished, leaving Tweek alone in the room. Breathing growing ragged, Tweek suddenly let out a shriek and slammed his head against the table, splashing some of his remaining coffee over its wooden surface.

Hitting his head over and over again, Tweek screamed, "AUGH! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING USEFUL TO SAY! YOU'RE JUST ALIENS!"  _Why is this my life!? WHY AM I STUCK WITH THESE PEOPLE?! THEY AREN'T EVEN HUMAN!_

Peeking his head back in, Richard Tweak smiled and said, "Now son, don't you think fifteen is a little old to be believing in aliens?" Staring at the man, his mouth open in a silent moan of mental agony, Tweek jerked to one side and ended up toppling out of his chair, crashing to the floor with an unholy racket as his various weapons clattered against the floor. Like he hadn't even noticed, Tweek's dad called, "Have a good night son," before returning to the kitchen.

Laying there, sprawled on the floor, Tweek stared at the slightly blurry ceiling and wished that Craig was there until he thought his brain was going to explode, before he forced himself to scramble to his feet. Grabbing his half-finished coffee off the table, Tweek scrambled up towards his room, his mind nothing but an oppressive static. He almost wished he'd have gotten in trouble, because at least that way he would have been able to pretend like his parents were human, but no, it had been another dead end conversation that only freaked him out.

_I'm going to get detention tomorrow, I know I am. Why do I have to get detention? Jesus, what if they give Craig detention again as well! Oh god, they wouldn't do that, he doesn't deserve it!_  Of course it didn't matter, adults never helped, they never cared. They were just children who'd gotten taller and meaner. Pushing into his room, putting his coffee on his side table, Tweek struggled to throw off his various pieces of equipment, leaving them all piled in a corner like he usually did. He felt miserable, but then he always felt miserable when he was alone in his room, so really there wasn't much of a change there.

Striping out of the rest of his clothing, Tweek wandered around for a moment, unsure what he was supposed to do next. Catching sight of his own reflection, Tweek stumbled forward, stood in front of his mirror and stared at himself, at the stripes covering his arms and torso, put there by Craig's gentle hands. Under them, he could see the bruises he'd managed to accumulate that day. His ribs on one side were yellow, probably from where the sixth-grader had kicked him and the bruise on his cheek was still noticeable. Adding to that the injuries he'd gotten fighting Stan, Tweek found himself pretty black and blue indeed.

Staring at himself in the eye, Tweek clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes, trying to look scary. Letting out a growl, Tweek started at his mirror, as if he were going to attack it, but the squeaking of the window behind him caused Tweek to let out a high shriek and stumble forward. Smacking his forehead against the glass, Tweek collapsed to the floor, his body twisting weirdly as it slid down the length of his closet door.  _Jesus, the ax murderer is going to get me!_  Leaping backward with another scream, Tweek twisted wildly, trying to figure out who was there at all.

"Tweekers," Kenny tutted, shaking his head as he slipped into the room. "Don't act so shooken, it's just me, no monsters here~"  _Don't you know that's worse!_  Scrambling to his feet, suddenly aware he was only in his underwear and Kenny was staring at him quite curiously, Tweek let out a squeak and darted for the tee-shirt Craig had left behind. Struggling into the Pirate Guinea Pig shirt, glad that it sagged down to his thighs, Tweek shivered and stared up at Kenny.

"What do you want?" Tweek asked, suddenly lunging forward and grabbing his coffee cup, remembering Kenny's habit of stealing it when he got the chance. Kenny had lost his princess dress at some point between the festival and coming here. Now, the only sign he'd spent all afternoon dressed as a girl was the mascara still on his eyelashes and the rosy cheeks.  _Why does he always show up? What does he want this time?! What if Cartman sent him and I have a mission? I won't do it! It's the middle of the night, they have no idea what's out there!_

Lazily sauntering forward, Kenny fell back on Tweek's bed and stretched across it luxuriously. Looking up at Tweek, upside-down and through half-lidded eyes, Kenny let out a chuckle and said, "Oh, I dunno, just wanted to check up on my bestest friend in the whole wide world." When Tweek let out a whimper and tugged at his hair with his free hand, Kenny grinned and let his eyes slip closed. "Tweeky, you're just too easy."  _Jesus, what's that supposed to mean?!_

"Th-that's not a reason!" Tweek accused, his face contorted in fear as he stared at Kenny, careful not to get too close to the edge of his bed in case the monsters lunged out and grabbed him. "Y-you only ever come here when –ghn- you want to t-torment me!" His accusation caused Kenny's calm face to pinch in consternation, as if his words had hurt the boy.

Cranking open one eye, Kenny hummed low in his throat and asked, "So did F- Tucker ever find you? He was all worried and worked up and looking as constipated as ever, I'd hate to think that you two never made nice at the end." Twitching at the thought of Craig, in mental pain because of Tweek, the blond let out a distressed whimper that Kenny only laughed at. "I'll take that as a yes then."

"Grr- W-why do you even care?" Tweek squeaked, his hands trembling around the warm ceramic of his mug. He'd never understand why Kenny got so wrapped up in his business when he couldn't possibly care. It was just another thing he did to annoy him. "It's not like it makes a difference whether we're talking or not!" The only one it mattered to was him. Craig, as well he supposed, but definitely not Kenny, who only drifted through his life and didn't seem about to take up any sort of permanent residence there.

"Of course it matters to me Tweekers," Kenny said brightly, his fingers wiggling about. "I'm pretty sure that everyone wants you two to stay friends, it's a comforting sight to see after all."  _Comforting?! Is he going crazy for real? Why would he say something like that?_  When Tweek let out a squeak, Kenny stuck his bottom lip out and commented, "It sounds so strange to say it out loud, but I think people like to imagine that even if they're as fucked up as the two of you, there's always going to be someone else who will put up with them."

Staring at Kenny, Tweek shuddered as he thought about so many people noticing him and pushed out, "W-we're fine, everything's fine." He didn't want to talk about the rest of it, not with Kenny at any rate. There was something about that time that he'd spent with the Noirette that seemed precious, not something he wanted to just hang out in the open for anyone to see.

Letting a lazy smile crawl over his face, Kenny said, "Wonderful." Then he just lay there, silent. Twitching, Tweek waited for him to say something else, but it quickly became apparent that he had nothing more to say.  _What? Why isn't he saying anything else? Is he done? Why on earth would that be important enough to warrant coming over here?_

"Is that the only reason you came?!" Tweek asked, trying to take a sip of his coffee but shaking too hard to manage it.  _I've had too much today for this, why won't Kenny just go away!_  "You could have asked me tomorrow. Jesus, w-why would you come all the way over here for something like that?" He hated it when Kenny did things like this, but the boy had always had a mind of his own so Tweek wasn't very surprised to be entirely honest.

Turning over so he could look at Tweek right side up, Kenny propped his chin up on his elbows and admitted, "I was  _going_  to go and see Butterfree but he was in the middle of getting yelled at." Eyes growing coldish almost, Kenny shrugged it off, as if it had no consequence. "I decided to go for a walk rather than go back home. I passed by your house. I decided to stop by." Biting his lip, Tweek relaxed slightly, deciding that this honestly wasn't the worst reason Kenny had ever given.

"W-why is Butters in trouble?" Tweek asked before he could stop himself. Feeling shame crawling up his neck, Tweek quickly took several sips of his coffee, trying not to look at Kenny. He knew he shouldn't be prying into other people's business but he wasn't sure what else he was supposed to say to Kenny. It wasn't like the usually had things they talked about. Mostly, Kenny just drove him crazy and then laughed at his outbursts.

Chuckling bitterly, Kenny shook his head. "Oh, it's not important Tweekers, nothing for you to worry your crazy blond head about." Almost glad that Kenny hadn't answered, Tweek looked around his room for something to do and ended up wandering over to his Lego table. As the boy set his coffee cup down and started picking at pieces with twitching fingers, Kenny softly mused, "You and Craig are an interesting pair, aren't you?"

"Ngh-" Shivering at the mention of Craig, Tweek jerked his head around to look at the blond before looking back at his own hands, unsure how he was supposed to answer.  _Why can't he ever make sense? Why does it all have to be some sort of game!?_  Frustrated, more with his own inability to comprehend what was going on than with Kenny, Tweek snapped several Legos together without any real pattern before mumbling, "We're n-not interesting."

"You see, usually I'd agree with that," Kenny commented, his tone thoughtful. "And really, there are far crr _aai_ zer things around South Park than just little ol' you. But a surprising number of people are watching you two Tweekster, even if they don't see anything other than what they expect to see. In fact, you two are practically the poster children for seeing what you want to." Kenny fell silent once more and Tweek added several more pieces to his creation, unsure what he was building but finding it decidedly better than freaking out about what Kenny was saying.

Snapping out of his own thoughts, Kenny finished, "But with all that attention, you've also got  _all_  the wrong eyes on you, and those eyes are watching  _very_  closely." Head snapping up at that, Tweek let his fingers keep moving over the Legos, just so he wouldn't tear his own hair out, while he stared fearfully at Kenny. Tapping the side of his nose, Kenny stretched languidly and got to his feet so he could slowly wander over to the blond. "I'd tell you to be careful, but since when does anyone listen to me? I'm just another freak at the sideshow."

"W-what are you trying to say?" Tweek asked fearfully, feverishly snapping Legos together without focusing on them.  _I don't get it, why is he telling me to be careful? Who are the wrong eyes? Who's watching us!? WHY CAN'T HE JUST MAKE SENSE?_  Dropping his creation onto his desk, Tweek grabbed for his coffee and finished it off, draining every last drop in an attempt to calm his nerves.

Leaning over Tweek, Kenny softly said, "I'm just saying that someday, it's all going to catch up with you. Whether you'll like it or not, well, that's a tossup, isn't it?" Reaching forward, the boy picked up the thing Tweek had just built and held it above his head. "Hah, it's a guinea pig, isn't it?" Looking at it himself, Tweek's eyes suddenly widened and he snatched the rough figurine of Stripe out of Kenny's hands.

Shaking his head, Kenny stuffed his hands into his pockets and said, "Later Tweeky, I'm done bothering you. I'm going to go bother Buttercream now." Walking towards the window, Kenny climbed back through the thing and called after him, "Don't have a heart attack too soon!" before shutting the thing.

Tweek just stared at his Legos, unable, for the life of him, to understand what Kenny had meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO~! If you all have time to answer a question, I've got one for you! 
> 
> Yae or Nae to Phone destroyer?
> 
> Also, I hope that you've enjoyed these five chapters!! On one hand, I like posting only one a day so that I can hear back on each of them, but I suppose this was wonderful in its own right. Just look at all that plot arc we got through!! I mean, it's impressive if you ask me.


	47. What A Waste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Now that Christmas is over, we're back to normal. I know, how disappointing. Don't worry though, a chapter a day isn't _that_ bad, right??
> 
> ALSO! Someone did fan art for the Christmas chapters!! Treesftw did some little doodles that honestly made me giggle so hard. ("confused Stan Noises" XD ) --> https://aminoapps.com/c/south-park/page/blog/semantically-challenged-is-my-jam/xB7v_ZjC2uw41DWkZGpm8Kg8QaDYdnnmeD You should seriously look at them. Honestly, they're so beautiful and I wish I could draw at least a little bit so I could compare to you people. I'm really so very blessed.
> 
> But I've talked enough.
> 
> Enjoy.

Craig didn’t really want to leave.

Too much had happened today, he felt like the day should have been longer just to accommodate it all. As it was, he was already headed home, the memory of Tweek’s fingers in his hair and big green eyes staring up at him the only thing to keep him company. Honestly, though, Craig would have argued that this was plenty. It might not have been as good as the boy himself was, but it was better than the usual crushing emptiness.

Now that he was alone, he started to remember the fact that he was bruised from head to toe and exhausted as hell. The game, no matter how much fun it was, could be exceptionally painful. At least he was used to bruises. _At least they aren’t real swords._ Recalling what Tweek had said about seeing the game as if it were real, Craig took a moment to be thankful that he was only getting bruised and not carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

As the bits and pieces of what he’d talked about with Tweek filtered in through his head, Craig wondered if maybe they were both losing their mind collectively. He’d always known Tweek was crazy and that he was a thousand different kinds of fucked up, but this was a different kind of insanity. It was the kind that left him with this strange feeling that things were getting better. They weren’t, he’d have to be a fool to think that shit would ever get better, but that’s why it was madness.

Tweek inspired that madness, brought it along with him like he was the sun on a cloudy day. There was still rain, but he made Craig believe that happiness was attainable. And even though they’d had a fight, they’d gotten over it pretty quickly. He’d never be stupid enough to call it easy, but they were better off for it. _He_ was better off for it.

The whole fiasco with the sixth-grader, Craig understood now, had been a freak accident that he hadn’t been able to control. Did he wish he’d been there to protect Tweek or better yet, pull him away and avoid the situation entirely, oh absolutely. But did he feel guilty over it anymore? Not really. He wasn’t going to be that careless in the future, but Tweek could handle himself. The blond didn’t need Craig to swoop in every time he got a bit nervous, he just needed Craig to believe that he could handle it.

 _Besides, that particular fucker got booted from the game. So we’ll be fine._ Letting out a sigh, Craig cracked the bones in his neck slowly and stared straight ahead, at the barely visible sidewalk and it’s uneven cracks and paving slabs. It was amazing how quickly he’d memorized this path, each spot that provided a tripping hazard for Tweek, who could trip on anything, and every light that would spill from the houses to his right. All of it, Craig could recite in his sleep.

It used to be, very little stuck in his mind. He went through the motions of his day to day life and things just sort of slipped through the cracks. Whole days could pass without him remembering a moment of them. There hadn’t been _good_ moments, but there hadn’t really been bad ones either, mostly because they too were muffled by the bag he’d been metaphorically wearing over his head. He’d walk the same path to Token’s house or to Clyde’s house and he wouldn’t be able to tell you anything about it. It was just a path, nothing but a series of directions that his muscles remembered but his brain never registered.

Nothing was ever vivid enough to stick.

Except for one thing of course. Tweek, from the beginning of fourth grade, when the boy had first caught his attention, had been cast in incandescent color. Like a glaring neon sign that brightened that corner of his mind. Everything about the boy, from his tics to his twitches to his green shirt and bright blond hair, had filled Craig’s mind with color. He remembered the boy, memorized him when other things slipped through the cracks. If asked, he wouldn’t have been able to remember what color Clyde’s house was, but he knew by heart that Tweek’s eyes were a brighter green than the manicured lawns of Token’s house and that Tweek’s hair glowed like spun gold when the sun hit in the afternoon light that streamed through the window beside his desk.

And even though his friends had picked up on it at once, Craig had never noticed it was happening. It hadn’t even registered that Tweek’s color was bleeding into his life but little by little until after they’d fought. Because once they were friends, officially, things had started looking more colorful. Maybe not brighter, in fact, if he was being honest, the bruises started to hurt more and the yelling at night had seemed louder. But the other side of things was that when Tweek smiled, the world glowed and when the boy had first lain with Craig on the floor of his room to stare at the stars, it had been like watching the milky way instead of simply looking at glow in the dark plastic.

Craig had spent his whole life staring at a world made of shades of faded gray, Tweek had touched it and suddenly, the trees had color and the sun felt warm. And maybe he was letting his imagination get away with him because it seemed a little stupid to even believe half of what he was thinking, but Craig knew it was at least partially true. Whatever else he could say about the addition of Tweek to his life, Craig couldn’t deny that the boy had touched his shades of gray and turned them into green and gold.

 _Yup, I’ve gone crazy._ Though he didn’t smile, Craig did let out a snort and put his head down. If he could have gone and told his messed up kindergarten self that had originally decided the world wasn’t worth shit that he was going to find someone that made it worth something again, Craig would have told himself to fuck off. Heck, he was still considering telling himself to fuck off, he was getting on his own nerves, being so sentimental about this stuff, but as long as he could confidently say it made his life better, he was going to try to stay in this world of color that Tweek had brought to him.

Turning onto his street, Craig hurried the rest of the way to his house, seeing no sense in taking his time. The sooner he got home, the sooner he’d be able to get some sleep and the sooner that happened, this day would be over. He’d dealt with way too much, his brain wasn’t built to handle this level of eventful.

Briefly taking into account the lights were still on in his house, even though they should have probably been off, Craig tried the door handle and was unsurprised to find it open. Experiencing that curious heavy feeling that occurred when one gets home after a long day, Craig slipped in the door and quickly closed it behind him, his footsteps naturally growing quiet as if to accommodate the stifling feeling of his house. After all, there were some silences that were not meant to be broken.

Turning, intent on heading toward the stairs and inevitably his room, Craig caught sight of his sister, Ruby, sitting on the stairs, her little hands wrapped tightly around the stiles as she stared at him with wide eyes. Instantly knowing that something was amiss Craig tilted his head at her, only to receive a furious shake from her, a clear sign to get away. Confused, the tall boy took a step forward, wanting to know what she was trying to tell him. After all, it wasn’t often that she took the time to care about what was happening to him. There were only two times she did; when she thought she could get something out of it and when-

“Craig Tucker, where the hell have you been?” Blood going cold, Craig slowly looked away from his sister and turned on the balls of his feet to face the person who’d just entered the room. Thomas Tucker looked as intimidating as he always did, that permanent scowl already on his lips, his ruddy face warning Craig that the man had been drinking. He looked furious, Craig, in his state of tired confusion, was having trouble figuring out why.

“I was out with my friends,” he answered back, struggling to inject some confidence into his flat monotone. Moving out of the doorway slowly, Craig faced his father, trying to think what it could have been _this time_ that the man was furious about.

“We heard.” Turning to face the sharp voice that came from the kitchen, Craig watched as his mother walked in, her arms crossed and her face pinched into a furious expression. “Believe me, Craig, we heard all about it.”

Eyes flying between the two of them, his body tensing up in preparation to flee if he had to, Craig quickly worked through what they were talking about, trying to remember what he’d done that his parents would be upset about… _Oh…_ Face paling, Craig clenched his teeth together. He’d entirely forgotten about what Mr. Mackey had said, how he’d promised to call his parents if he left detention. Heart rate kicking up a notch, Craig’s entire demeanor went dead as he quickly tried to smother the fear that rose up in his mind.

“What the _fuck_ were you doing, _breaking out of_ detention?!” His father demanded, advancing on Craig. The boy instantly took a step back, not stupid enough to stand his ground. “Bad enough that you were in detention in the first place, but to then _leave?_ I can’t fucking believe you’d do something so stupid!!”

“I didn’t deserve the detention anyway,” Craig attempted to say, wanting to calm his father down before it got violent. More violent than it was bound to get regardless. “They put me in their unfairly. I was standing up for someone, they just put me in detention because-”

“Don’t you backtalk your father like that!” Craig’s mother snapped, glaring at him. Cursing mentally, realizing he’d made a stupid mistake, the Noirette took another step back. He could practically hear his heart in his ears, a constant reminder that he was terrified. “You _deliberately_ skipped out on detention Craig Tucker! Do you have any idea what it’s like to be told something like that?!”

 _Embarrassing for you, probably,_ Craig thought, but didn’t say. He was too busy holding up his hands and trying to keep himself calm. “Look,” he said as his father got closer again, his mean beady eyes furious. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again, I just-“

“NO! I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHAT YOU _JUST_ ANYTHING!” There was no time between Thomas Tucker’s roar and the hand that flew out at him for Craig to avoid it. All he knew was that one moment he was on his feet and the next his ribs exploded in pain as his father’s fist connected with them. Stumbling back, not letting the pain show on his face, Craig attempted to regain his balance as his dad yelled, “YOU ARE A FUCKING DISGRACE CRAIG TUCKER!!”

Even though he knew he shouldn’t Craig found himself yelling back, “Don’t you think I already fucking know that?!” He attempted to get out of the way of Thomas’s next strike but the man was much older and much faster than he was.

Vision going blurry for a moment as the man’s fist connected with one of his ears, Craig heard through his distorted hearing his mother shouting, “Don’t you _dare_ curse at us, you bastard! You are the one who can’t do anything right, we _have_ done _everything_ to raise you as a normal child and _this_ is what we get in return!?”

Stomping towards him, Thomas Tucker’s hand clenched in the folds of Craig’s cloak and before the boy could escape, the man was physically lifting him into the air. “You make me _sick!”_ the man shouted, delivering a punch to Craig’s stomach when his words failed to provoke a reaction. Body crying out for air, Craig convulsed and coughed as his father bellowed, “I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD! I HAVE GIVEN YOU A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD! I HAVE FED AND CLOTHED YOU AND ALL YOU DO IS DISRESPECT AND DISGRACE US!”

“I haven’t done anything wrong,” Craig insisted weakly, scrambling to get away as the lack of oxygen made his head spin. He could practically smell the alcohol on his dad’s breath and it made him feel physically sick. _Of course, I did something wrong, I’m wrong simply for existing to these people._ As his vision started to go spotty, Craig choked out, “Please-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” The world turned upside-down as he was tossed away from his father bodily. Back slamming into the wall, Craig could do nothing as he fell to the floor, his whole form in pain. Every inch of him cried out and yet he still struggled to get to his feet. “YOU’RE A FUCKING PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT!!” He couldn’t even see Thomas Tucker, his head was spinning too much, all he could do was listen to what he was saying and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were true. “If I could, I would wipe you from my life entirely!!”

“I was protecting someone!” Craig insisted back, his arms shaking as he tried to use them to push himself upright. _Why am I trying to reason with him? It never works, never! I’m just wasting my time._ But just like always, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to make his dad see reason, even if it never worked. “I couldn’t watch my friend get beaten up, I had to do something!”

A hand connected with the back of his head, tossing him down again to the floor. “Who the fuck would want to be friends with someone like you, you’re worthless, all you do is fuck things up!” Unable to avoid the subsequent and vicious kick, Craig just allowed himself to go limp, attempting to hold in the pained sounds he wanted to make as his ribs were abused. “YOU ARE NOTHING, YOU UNDERSTAND ME!! NOTHING!!”

Opening his eyes, Craig looked up and saw his mother. She was still standing in the doorway and her arms were still crossed. Begging her with his eyes to _make it stop,_ Craig was simply rewarded with a boot to his chest, which knocked his head back against the wall. “Don’t you go looking to your mother for help!” Thomas Tucker spat at him. “She isn’t going to help you, you deserve this!”

“I’m sorry,” Craig said softly, putting his head down and squeezing his eyes shut tight. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry.” He just kept repeating it, wishing that his father would just accept it and let him go. Finally, the shadow over him drew back and Craig dared to open his eyes, staring up at the man that made his life a living hell.

“You had better be,” Thomas Tucker told him, his eyes narrowed. “Now get the fuck out of my sight or you’re sleeping outside.” Even though everything hurt, Craig scrambled to his feet, using the wall to steady himself. The moment his father turned away, Craig limped as quickly as he could towards the stairs, not about to throw away this chance of escape. Clinging to the railing to help get himself upstairs, Craig just kept moving, not letting his mind think, not allowing himself to fall into the dark pit that threatened to consume him.

His sister was still sitting on the stairs, just out of sight of the main room. Ruby’s eyes were wide and fearful as they stared at him, her lip caught between her teeth. _Tweek does that._ Heart clenching, Craig softly said, “Go to bed,” ignoring the way his voice cracked down the middle of the sentence.  “Lock the door behind you.” Stumbling to her feet, his little sister darted ahead of him, racing towards her room and quickly shutting the door behind her.

Heading towards his own room, Craig tripped through the entrance way and only just managed to close the door before he fell to the floor, his legs simply giving out on him. As he started to shake, the terror and pain finally overwhelming his mind, Craig curled up into a fetus position, unable to do much more. _Why, why does this always happen? Why do I have to be such a fucking piece of shit? Why can’t I be good enough?_   Letting out a muffled sound of pain as he rolled onto one of his bruises, Craig sucked in bottom lip as his stomach threatened to empty itself over his carpet.

He should have thought of this, he should have gone to Token’s house instead. Shaking harder, Craig squeezed his eyes shut and wished it didn’t hurt so much. It used to be this didn’t affect him, he just shook until he fell asleep, now all he felt was terror as the realization of what had just happened sunk in. _Why did they have to call them?? Why did they have to tell them that I left detention? Why did they have to make everything so horrible?_

Rolling over, Craig attempted to even out his breathing as he stared at the stars on his ceiling, but he couldn’t. _I’m worthless, why does anyone care about me? Why does Tweek even put up with me? I’m a wimp. I’m a fucking coward._ He felt like he was going to cry, but he wouldn’t, couldn’t let his father have that sort of satisfaction. _I HATE HIM! I HATE THEM BOTH WHY DO THEY BOTH HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME!?_ Because he deserved it, because he’d left detention and because he’d gotten a detention in the first place.

 _But I was protecting Tweek, right?_ Thinking of the blond made Craig’s throat close up. He’d been so fucking _happy_ just sitting in the tree with the boy and now everything had gone to shit. Lifting his aching arms to his face, Craig pressed on his eyes and gritted his teeth in an attempt to hold the tears at bay. He didn’t deserve that kind of happiness, not when he was such a dark person, not when he brought pain and suffering with him everywhere he went. And yet he craved it, wished he had Tweek here so he could hold on tight to the one real thing he had.

Breath coming in short, pained gasps, Craig felt the warm wetness of the tears finally spill out over his cheeks. The moment the horrible salty clamminess pushed past his palms, Craig’s arms fell limp and he let them collapse to his sides. On his ceiling, the stars grew blurry as the pain manifest itself on his face. He was acting like a fucking weakling, but he couldn’t stop himself. Gone were the days when he could face something like this emotionlessly, now, everything was so much more vivid and painful.

As silent sobs started to choke him, closing up his throat and leaving him unable to breathe, Craig wrapped his arms around his chest and struggled to keep quiet. Though really, there was no risk of him making noise, no, Craig knew how to cry silently, despite the fact he hadn’t done so since he was six. As his face grew blotchy with tears and his head started to pound, Craig rolled over and curled up once more, letting his carpet soak up his tears.

All he wanted was to be anywhere but there. All he wanted was someone to tell him that it was going to be okay. But he knew that it would only ever be a lie because this would _never_ be okay and he was pretty sure it would never end either. Wrapping his arms around his chest, hiccupping as his sobs turned to nothing but dry gasps, Craig clenched his teeth hard enough to make them hurt and struggled to pull himself back together.

 _Just go to bed,_ his mind told him. That’s what he always did. Get over what had happened, push it to the back of his head and forget it. Except he hadn’t been beaten that bad in a long time and he wouldn’t have been able to go to sleep at that moment if he tried. Not here, not with his parents downstairs, liable to come up at any moment and scream at him some more. His mother especially loved to do that, drag it out for as long as she could until he was well and truly whipped.

Staring with blurry eyes at the little stars that Tweek and he had glued to his ceiling together, Craig found himself pushing himself to his feet. No, he wasn’t going to be able to sleep here, but there was somewhere where he might be able to sleep. Pushing his mind back into blankness, Craig struggled to take deep, calm breaths as he got together everything he’d need tomorrow for school, including a change of clothes and a spare shirt and bottoms to wear.

Once he was sure he’d gotten everything together, Craig stood in the middle of his room for a moment, his legs still shaking uncertainly. Glancing over at Stripe, who was at the bars of his cage and watching Craig as though he knew what was going on, Craig softly said, “I’ll be back tomorrow.” He knew that his pet couldn’t understand, but he felt better saying it out loud. His voice still sounded broken, but he’d be fine. Everything was going to be fine.

Walking over to his window, Craig threw it open and swung himself outside, ignoring the pain that rocketed through his body at the motions. So he was hurt, so what? He’d get better. Bruises healed. Besides, he’d feel better once he’d gotten where he was going.

Because Tweek had said that Craig could come to him if the monsters got too bad and Craig wasn’t about to say no to that. _So what if I’m a piece of shit that doesn’t deserve someone like Tweek, at least he doesn’t know that._ It wasn’t a lie if he never told Tweek one way or another. So he just closed his window and climbed down, unwilling to think about it anymore. It didn’t bear dwelling on.

And all the while, he just kept telling himself that he didn’t care, because he was terrified that if he stopped, the pressure would finally crush him at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm probably going to work Phone destroyer in, just for some fun. I got some nos, but I can assure you that I will make it every bit as enjoyable as the rest of this story. Of course, if you don't like it, I suppose that's not saying much XD *is actually very sad if you don't like it* *Tries harder*
> 
> Tomorrow, the update will likely be late like today, but it will be there!! I swear I won't leave you hanging. You need resolution after that XD


	48. Clockwork Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH!!! This chapter is coming out way sooner than I expected (I thought I'd post somewhere around later XD) But look at me, getting shit done like an adult. *is very proud*
> 
> I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THE LAST CHAPTER! Yes, Craig does need Child Protective Services, Yes, it was really harsh. No, it won't get better for a while...
> 
> At least he's got Tweek~
> 
> Enjoy.

 

"Ngh-" Tweek's fingers twitched and fumbled with the Legos as he tried to put them together. The model of Stripe was still sitting on his counter, next to the larger one he was trying to build. Considering that he hadn't known what he was doing in the first place, Tweek wasn't sure what he was doing now, but he supposed that it sort of looked alright. Why he was putting together little versions of Stripe, Tweek wouldn't have been able to say, he just knew that he felt at least a little better doing this than he did just sitting in the middle of his floor doing nothing.

Flinging his head around, looking for antennae to use as whiskers, Tweek gave a cry of frustration and tumbled out of his chair, instantly searching his floor for the pieces he knew would be there. He wasn't even sure what time it was, late, probably. Maybe this should have been concerning, but it wasn't like he slept anyway. He couldn't count the number of nights he'd spent, awake and staring at the clock until the sun came up.

Finding an antenna, Tweek managed to snap it into place on Stripe before losing his hold on the creation and watching as it tumbled across the floor, breaking off both of his front feet. Letting out a moan of distress, Tweek pulled on his hair for a moment before crawling after it, not wanting the monsters under his bed to see it and steal it from him. Snatching the Guinea Pig off of the floor, Tweek snapped it's little paws back into place before staring at it, his brain conjuring up an image of the real animal instead of just the Lego rendition.

Wishing he could recreate the soft fur and twitchy nose, Tweek messed with the tiny, hinged ears and bit his lip hard.  _I wonder if Craig would like it?_  He wondered absently, thinking of the way the boy would sometimes watch him play with his Legos, just watching Tweek for hours in silent contemplation.  _I bet he would. Though he'll always like Stripe the best._

Grabbing another antenna, Tweek added another whisker. He'd show Craig tomorrow, that is, he'd show the boy if he could convince him to come over.  _Oh god, we're going to have detention tomorrow. Jesus, that's so much pressure! They're probably going to give detention to everyone else who helped him. It's going to be all my fault that they get in trouble!_  Shaking his head in an attempt to get rid of the bad thoughts in his mind, Tweek stared down at his creation and carefully ran his fingers over the bumpy Legos as if it were the real animal.

_It'll be okay, Craig will be there._  Huddling up inside the taller boy's shirt, Tweek took several breathes that at least attempted to be deep before feeling around for another antenna. He'd never had detention before, not even when he broke through the window of the school. The idea of sitting in the cafeteria while Mr. Mackey watched him was frankly terrifying. How Craig could stomach it was beyond him. Then again, the boy was able to handle a lot more than he was, just by the benefit of not caring one bit.

Holding up Stripe, Tweek muttered, "Squeak squeak, I know Craig really w-well and I know that he's super badass and that Mr. M-Mackey doesn't scare him at all." Hugging one arm around himself, Tweek muttered, "You're r-right Stripe. He –ghn- doesn't care at all."

"Tweek?"

"OH JESUS AUGHGHGH!" Leaping back for the second time that night, Tweek shielded Model Stripe from being crushed as he rolled over the floor, away from the voice.  _OH GOD, WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!?_  Twitching, letting out a groan as he did so, Tweek pealed his eyes open and pulled up till he could see who was there, even though he sort of already knew the answer to his own question.  _Ugh, he's too good at sneaking up on me._

Craig sat perched on the window ledge, his cloak ripping behind him as it streamed out of the window ledge. He had his backpack on his shoulders and his eyes were downcast, making Tweek sit up and twitch in fear, unsure why the boy looked so upset. Noticing the fresh bruise on the side of Craig's face, Tweek let out a soft whimper and shivered. "C-Craig?" he asked, biting his lip as the boy didn't move, just sat there silently as if he was broken.

Without looking up, Craig abruptly said, "I got bored, I figured you'd still be awake." As if this was ample explanation even though it only made Tweek feel more worried, Craig slipped the rest of the way through the window, sweeping his cloak out of the way of the window so he could close it behind it behind him. Still crouching on the ground, unsure what he was supposed to say to this, Tweek shivered and stared at Craig, wanting to ask a million questions but not knowing what those questions were.

"Jesus man! Y-you should be sleeping!" Tweek squeaked, his fingers tightening around his little Model Stripe before he forced himself to relax them. Craig was already removing his cloak, rolling it up haphazardly and tossing it into a corner after doing so. Digging fingers into his hair, Tweek let out a plaintive squeak before asking, "W-why were you still awake?!"

Still not turning to look at him, Craig told the wall in a rough approximation of his usual, flat voice, "Couldn't sleep." Tweek wanted to just take the boy at his word but why wasn't Craig willing to look at him? They were fine, right? Sure, things had been pretty horrible but they'd gotten over it, they weren't fighting anymore! So why then was Craig acting so strange? Why did it sound like he had something stuck in his throat?

Watching as the boy unhooked his weapons belt and his shoulder strap, both of which he still had on, Tweek blurted out, "I never sleep!" When Craig didn't respond, he looked down at the toy Stripe and fiddled with its ears as he continued, "I m-mean, I sleep sometimes, but –ngh- I don't sleep often. My head is too loud for me to sleep, I close my eyes and the noise gets louder, s-so I stay awake."

As Craig set his weapons down, he paused for a moment and asked, "Do the monsters talk to you?" He sounded so defeated, pained, Tweek shivered. The bruise on the boy's head was glaringly obvious and he wanted to know, but at the same time, he didn't. Thinking about Craig being hurt by something terrified Tweek, and he couldn't make himself calm down.

Twitching, staring at his bare knees in silence, Tweek muttered, "Yeah, th-they do. But I know when it's the monsters and when it's not, cause they sound different!" Shivering, wondering how he'd managed to get talking about himself when all he wanted to do was ask Craig why he looked so horrible, Tweek threw his head up and asked, "Craig, what are you-"

"You'd never think I'm a monster, right?" Craig questioned, interrupting him. Taken aback, Tweek twitched and bit his lip harder. The boy was struggling to get out of his tunic, though it looked like it was causing him pain.  _It's because he fought Stan, right? That's why he's hurt. Maybe he came here because he didn't want his parents to see his bruises and worry. But he says they don't care, so why would he come here? I don't get it!_

"You're not a monster," Tweek told Craig, trying to sound as certain as possible. He believed it, he really did, but he was having a hard time sounding certain of anything when so much of his brain was being consumed by worry. "I mean, you can be scary, b-but you aren't like the voices under my bed, so you're not a monster at all."  _No, he scares them away._  Because Craig could be scary when he wanted to be, and he was always scary when he was protecting Tweek.

"Then what am I?" Craig pressed, finally managing to pull his shirt off. At the sight of those ugly, blue, purple and black bruises, at the yellowing skin and swelling flesh, Tweek let out a scream that he muffled behind his hands. The Lego Stripe tumbled to the floor, it's paws breaking off once more. Turning sharply towards him, Craig met his eyes for the first time since he'd arrived.

Tweek's heart started thudding as his mind scrambled in panic. Craig's eyes were red and swollen, like he'd been hit several times. There were streaks of red skin down his cheeks, making his usually dark face look blotchy and horrifying. But it was the pain in that vivid blue that made Tweek's heart sputter to a stop. Sure, Tweek had seen Craig upset. He'd seen the boy angry and he'd seen him scared but he'd never seen so much  _agony_  condensed into such a pure form. Maybe he was just losing his mind, but Tweek thought that the Noirette looked like he would cry for help, if only he knew the words.

"Craig…" Tweek whispered past his fingers, unsure whether he should scream or run towards the boy. Staring at him for a few more moments, Craig's mouth tightened into a line and he looked away. As he went for a shirt that he'd brought with him, a black one that had a cat on it with galaxy glasses, Tweek let out a whimper and said more loudly, "Craig, are you-"

"I'm fine, forget I asked anything," the boy muttered, his flat voice sounding almost bitter. There was still that horrible choked sound to it and it made Tweek's insides do terrible things. Shivering as those bruises vanished from view as Craig pulled his shirt on, the blond pulled his hands away from his face so he could breathe more easily. It didn't help, he still couldn't stop shaking violently, still couldn't keep himself from taking his air in shallow gulps.

"B-but those –rrr- bruises!" Tweek squeaked, his teeth clacking together as fear clouded his mind.  _Were they there the whole time?_  His voice got even more high-pitched as he pushed out, "C-Craig?"

"They're just from Stan and Chris," Craig said quickly, his fists clenching visibly around the hem of his shirt before he moved to pull off his gray trousers. Shutting his eyes tightly, Tweek twitched and tried to wipe the image of those painful purple and yellow marks. Those kinds of things weren't made by swords, they weren't the right shape. Tweek knew what those bruises were supposed to look like and this was something else entirely.  _He's lying to me, isn't he? Why would he be lying to me!? Why wouldn't Craig just tell me what's wrong? Doesn't he trust me!? Oh, Jesus, this is too much! I can't handle this!_

When he opened his eyes again, Tweek found Craig pulling on his pajama bottoms before whipping at his eyes, as if brushing something away. Letting out a shriek that whistled through his teeth, Tweek exclaimed, "Th-those aren't from swords!" The moment he'd said it, he clamped his mouth shut, feeling like a fool. Craig turned to look at him once more, but this time, his eyes looked too bright, like there was something in them.

"Of course they're from swords," Craig muttered, his tone sounding stuffy. "What else would they be from?" Shrugging off the matter, as if it wasn't anything to worry about, the boy pulled down his chullo before kicking off his shoes and looking over at Tweek's bed. Glancing questioningly at the blond for a moment, the tall boy hunched his shoulders and crawled into Tweek's bed. Unlike when Kenny did it, Tweek didn't freak out. Then again, he had other things that were making him panic.

Fighting to pull himself out of it, unsure how he was supposed to face Craig when the boy was clearly upset and not telling him why, Tweek twitched to one side and found himself saying, "K-Kenny came by earlier." When Craig looked over at him, his dark, upset eyes narrowing somewhat at the revelation, Tweek quickly said, "He just w-wanted to know if we made up and stuff. Ngh- Nothing bad!"  _Why am I bringing up Kenny? Everyone knows that Craig doesn't like him. I'm only going to stress him out more! Why am I doing this?_

But Craig's face just smoothed out as he wiggled against Tweek's pillows, slowly sinking down into the blonde's bed. "Fucking figures," he muttered, his voice sounding slightly better than before, as if he'd calmed down. Tweek wasn't sure if that was a good thing, but it definitely wasn't bad. "He likes getting into other people's shit."

Remembering what Kenny had said about people watching the two of them, Tweek shivered and muttered, "A lot of p-people are interested in our sh-shit." Needing to distract himself, the blond scrambled across the floor for another antenna piece, affixing it to Stripe the moment he got his hands on it. He could feel Craig's eyes on the back of his neck and it made chills run down his spine. Wishing he had more coffee but unwilling to leave Craig alone, Tweek squeaked, "Kenny said w-we had bad eyes on us."

"He says a lot of shit," Craig told Tweek, his calm voice full of exhaustion. "Ignore him." Tweek wished he could ignore a lot of things, like the hiss of pain Craig let out as he settled in the blonde's bed or the angry bruise on the side of the boy's head, but he couldn't. They kept crowding out the rest of his thoughts, making him vibrate uncontrollably. Huddling over his Legos, Tweek dragged himself to his feet and padded back over to his table where he went back to work on Stripe.

"H-he's not usually wrong," Tweek admitted, his fingers shaking too badly to put the pieces together correctly. As the clacked together uselessly, reminding him of how fucked up he was, the boy let out a growl and let Stripe clatter to the table with his other heaping Legos. The paws broke off once again, making him moan in frustration.

Craig didn't answer for a long moment, long enough that Tweek turned around to look at the boy. He was staring at the drawings on Tweek's wall, a frown on his face. Tweek wondered briefly if the boy was trying to distract himself from something, before realizing that if that was the case, it opened up far too many possibilities for what he was trying to distance himself from. At long last, the boy took a labored sigh and said, "Yeah, you're right." Glancing over at Tweek with those tired eyes, the boy asked, "Do you really care that people are watching us?"

"I just wanna know w-why, man," Tweek squeaked, burying a hand in his hair while the other wrapped itself around the back of his chair. "Jesus, w-what if they hate us!? I can't handle the whole school hating me, i-it's too much pressure!"

"Fuck them," Craig said, too easily. Tweek hated seeing that darkness in the boy's eyes, but he didn't know how to make it go away. There was so much he didn't understand and he had no idea how to fix that. It was the redness around Craig's eyes, the bruises all over his body, the pain in his gaze, all of it made Tweek feel powerless. And yet Craig could act like none of it mattered so  _easily_  that the blond was worried that if it happened again, he might never notice.

Letting out a whimper, Tweek whipped back around to his Legos and stared at them till the colors started to blur together. His brain felt like it was full of static, and yet he needed to do something. Craig was clearly upset and that  _killed_  him. It wasn't fair that the Noirette got to be so secretive while Tweek ended up spilling his guts more often than not. He just wanted to know what was wrong, but apparently, that was asking too much.

Clutching at the edges of his table, resisting banging his head against it only because if he did he'd crush Stripe, Tweek squeezed his eyes shut tight and tried to block out the racket in his brain. The silence felt deafening, something he wasn't used to when he was with Craig. Fearful of what it meant, Tweek shivered and tried to get the words that spun in his head out of it.  _Do you think I'm a monster?_  No, he didn't!  _Then what am I?_

What was the boy? Tweek didn't know what he was supposed to answer to that, but it kept driving him insane. He was fearless, but he could still get scared. Tweek had seen it with his own two eyes. Sometimes he was scary but that didn't make him a monster, not even slightly. There were times Tweek thought he acted emotionless, like a statue, but here he was, showing emotion.  _Jesus! How does he expect me to answer a question like that?! I don't get it! WHAT DID HE MEAN?!_

"You're like a broken machine!" Tweek suddenly yelped, his words coming out weirdly because he clapped his hand over his mouth halfway through. Face going hot with shame, Tweek whimpered as Craig turned to look at him.  _Oh god, why did I say that? That sounded so bad! He's already upset I'm just gonna make it worse!_  Fumbling over his words, Tweek pushed out, "I m-mean, you're made of gears inside, right? S-so some of your gears are loose."

When Craig still didn't say a word, Tweek found that he couldn't stop his mouth from moving. "Y-you're usually not scary –ghn- b-but sometimes you are. And then sometimes you're never scared, but you can get scared and th-that's because you're gears are all out of line!"  _I sound crazy, why am I still talking?!_  "But th-that's okay, since if you were a robot you'd be like everyone else in this town. S-so you're a broken clockwork angel, because you're perfect most of the time until you break down and aren't."

"A clockwork angel," Craig repeated softly, his voice cracking as he said it. Turning, Tweek found the boy rubbing at his eyes again, not looking at him. Shivering, the blond looked around in panic, no idea how to help Craig. All he could do was stare as the boy hid his face and muttered, "Just a few broken gears."

Unsure what made him say it, Tweek stammered out, "Craig, are you here because of the monsters?" Biting his bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood, Tweek shivered when Craig froze before slumping against the pillows, like someone had deflated him. Knowing that he'd gotten it right and instantly wishing he hadn't, Tweek murmured, "You are, aren't y-you?"

"Yeah," Craig muttered, his voice sounding thick and tremulous. That was all he said, but it was enough to make Tweek feel like he was going to cry. Shivering, Tweek watched helplessly as the boy pulled his hands away from his face, revealing the tears that had no doubt left the red splotches the blond had seen before.  _Oh god, Craig is crying._  Shaking harder, the blond shook his head, wanting it to stop but having no way of making it. All he could do was huddle up in his chair as he watched Craig fall apart before his eyes.  _Make it stop. Make it stop. I can't handle this make it stop!_

But he found himself asking another question, even though he knew it was hurting the Noirette. "They were the ones who left those bruises, w-weren't they?" When Craig let out a soft choking sound, Tweek's heart broke. He wasn't even sure what he was supposed to say or do. There was too much in this horrible moment for him to pick out any one thing and focus on it. Instead, all he managed to push himself to do was whisper, "I'm sorry."

Drawing in a sharp shuddering breath, Craig said, "It wasn't you. It's not your fault. It's my fault." He said it with so much conviction, Tweek wanted to shake him until he took it back.  _It's not your fault! How is this your fault? Why would you say something like that when it's not true?!_  As Craig stared up at Tweek's ceiling, he muttered, "It's always my fault. I fuck up everything."

"No, you don't," Tweek said softly, wishing he could do something to make Craig stop crying. Slowly slipping from his chair, the boy got as close to the bed as he dared, considering the monsters that lurked underneath. Standing like that, shivering and shaking, the blond watched the Noirette, hands trembling.  _Please, just stop crying, I can't handle this…_  "Y-you just make mistakes sometimes."

Glancing Tweek's way, Craig took a deep breath before tugging his chullo down and looking away. "I hope so," he muttered brokenly, the pain shining through the cracks in his voice. "I hope I'm just a broken angel because otherwise, I'm a monster, just like them."

_JESUS THAT'S NOT TRUE!_ Gritting his teeth, Tweek took a flying leap for his bed and landed on it, rolling over until he was in the middle of it. With an involuntary growl, he looked down at Craig and said, "You'll never be a monster! Never!" When Craig just stared up at him with those pain filled eyes, Tweek shivered and said, "I won't let you be a monster."

Opening his mouth, Craig looked up at Tweek with those impossibly blue eyes. Even as the blond watched, the tears stopped flowing from the Noirette's eyes. Pulling in a shuddering breath, Craig suddenly rubbed at his eyes viciously and said, "Okay." Even though it was one word, Tweek felt unbelievably better hearing it. Because he knew that Craig meant it. Tweek didn't know if he'd solved anything, in fact, he was pretty sure he hadn't, but he could tell that Craig had relaxed, and that was the best he could hope for.

As Craig's eyes started to close and his breathing deepened, the blond realized that he'd finally managed to put the boy at ease. Nibbling on his lip, Tweek crawled over to his bedside lamp, the one light he still had on, and clicked it off, plunging the room into darkness. Diving under his blankets before the monsters could get him, Tweek curled up as close to Craig as possible and let the boy wrap his arms around him.  _Because that makes him feel better, right?_

And even though he at first doubted he'd go to sleep, Tweek could feel his body grow heavy as Craig's slowing heartrate drew him down into the darkness. Uncharacteristically, he let it, because, with Craig, Tweek felt safe.

_Even though you're broken, you're still an angel._

Without another thought, he slipped into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *is torn between crying and cooing* It's... something?
> 
> I'm so sorry I haven't been answering comments. I guess you could say that my way of taking a vacation is completely abandoning all of my responsibilities... Thank you anyway to everyone who has been leaving them. I honestly grin from ear to ear every time I get one.
> 
> Now, who want's to guess as to the extra perspectives??


	49. This Old Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAH! Bet you didn't see that coming (who am I kidding, you all saw that coming) I feel like I should put a warning before this chapter. EXTREME FLUFF IS CONTAINED IN THE FOLLOWING 4000 WORDS
> 
> ☆⌒Y⌒Y⌒Y⌒Y⌒ヾ(●´Ｕ｀●)ﾉ There, you've been warned. Say thank you to Telesthesia for keeping me from writing more angst instead~
> 
> MORE IMPORTANTLY!! Okay, so if you haven't already seen it, Telesthesia wrote an adorable story for me that's pure Creek and pure fluff and I think we all need some wholesome fluff after the last few chapters. So yeah, if you haven't already seen it then READ IT!! It made me a very mushy Q inside.
> 
> Speaking of adorable, TWO MORE PEOPLE DID FAN ART!! Nannertadertoot did the most _amazing_ piece of art for chapter 26 of Tweek asleep on Craig's shoulder and it made me cry. https://nashiekoots.tumblr.com/post/169007939076/this-is-my-first-attempt-at-digital-art-please-be#notes  <\--Remember that?? Remember when our boys were soft and sweet and innocent instead of all angsty like I've left them?? Yeah, me neither...
> 
> The second piece of art is from the simply stellar Socksghost who did a thing for chapter 19 which made me squeal an unnecessary amount (Who am I kidding, darling when it comes to your work every bit of squealing is perfectly acceptable) https://twitter.com/tinysmallghost/status/946582815595831298 <\-- Honestly, I loved that part when Craig said he saw the galaxies in Tweek's eyes. It's become even more meaningful the further we get in the story.
> 
> So, now that I've squealed over my beautiful readers enough, the chapter.
> 
> Enjoy.

Staring up at the sky, Kenny sucked in a breath and absently prodded his cheek with his tongue. Each footstep echoed down the empty street, an ode to how quiet the world around him was. He'd always appreciated the silence. No matter how many people you surrounded yourself with in futile attempts to pretend you weren't lonely, in the end, the empty blackness would return and you'd be alone again. Kenny had discovered long ago that it was best to make peace with the dark rather than fear it.

Tasting the ridiculous lipstick he'd stolen from Kyle's mom still on his lips, Kenny pulled a face and wiped off the remaining color from his lips. Just because he dressed up like a girl for the fantasy game didn't mean he had any love for the stupidly sparkly crap that women spread all over their faces. He understood its place in the universe, but he'd had too many instances of accidentally gluing his eyes together with mascara to enjoy it.

Of course, that was the price he had to pay to go through the game unquestioned. He was surprised, actually, he'd expected either Kyle or Stan to confront him about letting them have the stick. Neither of them had. Kenny was almost disappointed. Then again, there was the reason he'd dressed up as a girl. It was because if he looked like a woman, people would let him get away with  _anything_  including meddling in everyone's business and controlling Cartman's actions nine times out of ten. He supposed that Kyle and Stan were too wary to actually bring up the matter, probably because they were sure they'd be implicated in the process. Well, all the better for him.

After all, without him, how would anything get done at all?

Speaking of things that he'd messed with… Kenny turned around briefly. Though he couldn't see Tweek's house, he could imagine it. Among the many things he enjoyed observing, Tweek had recently become quite a prominent feature. He'd always enjoyed the odd, twitchy boy, but things had gotten so much more  _interesting_  when Craig had been added to the mix.

Tweek had continuously been a source of entertainment for Kenny. When he'd first seen the boy, back when they were in kindergarten, he'd thought, as everyone else did, that he was weird and off-putting, but unlike everyone else, Kenny had found this something to encourage rather than suppress. Now, he wouldn't be so arrogant as to claim that Tweek's whole school experience had been his doing, but he'd certainly worked hard at keeping the boy just as crazy and paranoid and  _fascinating_  as ever. And every now and then, he'd flit through Tweek's orbit and check to make sure the boy wasn't completely losing his mind.

If he was being honest, it went deeper than just curiosity. To Kenny, Tweek had always represented an interesting class of humanity. It had started when the shorter blond had first told Kenny that he'd  _seen you die just y-yesterday! What are you doing here!? WHY ARE YOU ALIVE?!_  It had sort of snowballed from there. Kenny had never been sure how to coax the blond into friendship, so he'd just done his best to be there when his crazy parents were being especially heinous and he'd made sure to keep Tweek from growing too complacent with solitude.

All in all, the boy had never really encouraged or deterred Kenny so he'd decided that it was all okay. In love and war, all was fair, after all.

Craig, on the other hand, was a very different story. Kenny had picked him out, among others, as another interest of his. Not quite to the extent that Tweek was, but Kenny certainly made sure to irritate the boy just enough to keep himself in the Noirette's periphery. They were similar after all, and Kenny loved nothing more than to bother people. To be fair, it wasn't that he tried to bother anyone, he just liked to keep most people on edge, people were more likely to trust him if he did. Be too nice and people suspected you, be too hostile and people were off-put, but if you could be just annoying enough to hit the sweet spot, people would tell you anything.

Then again, Craig had never told Kenny much of anything. No, the boy had been forced to figure out most things on his own. It helped that his sister and Craig's little sister were best friends. That gave him as much of a way in as he needed. So sometimes, he'd show up in Craig's room and sit on the boy's floor and talk to the Noirette, even though the boy didn't usually talk back. Though Craig openly disliked him, Kenny suspected that this was mostly because the boy was jealous that he made  _not caring_  look so fun. And Kenny knew, or at least suspected, that Craig needed some people around that were unafraid of him simply because they were, not because they were friends with the boy.

Even if they weren't friends, Kenny had been sure to keep enough fingers in the boy's life that he could insert himself wherever he pleased when he so desired. It was an art. Kenny had lived enough lives to master it.

Never in a million years had Kenny ever expected two of his little projects to collide so spectacularly. But they had, and they'd end up joined at the hip. A perfect example of why you should never combine a lonely, neglected child with a lonely, abused one. You ended up with a codependent relationship that was strong, close and  _oh so_ dangerous. And yet Kenny enjoyed it in a certain way, because even though he had to coax it along at times, the two of them were turning into the most interesting thing he'd seen in a long while.

Take just today for example, who would have ever imagined that Tweek and Craig could turn a perfectly normal fight into a Grecian Tragicomedy fit for a stage? Well, Kenny had, but he was the exception. Even so, it was impressive how well the two of them did with the limelight on them. He would have predicted Tweek fleeing and becoming a shut-in again but apparently, they were bent on defying his expectations. And what about Craig? That stoic little pebble had turned into a protective mama bear so quickly Kenny was almost proud.

_They grow up so fast,_  Kenny thought to himself, wiping away an imaginary tear. And to think that none of it, or at least very little of it, would have happened without his masterminding the whole thing. It was almost impressive. Even Cartman hadn't been able to tear it down and goodness knew he'd been trying. Keeping Cartman from messing things up was a feat that even Kenny wasn't used to managing.

Grinning, awe-struck at his own ingenuity, Kenny turned his eyes to where he was going, unwilling to trip or something equally stupid. He was glad he did because the first thing he noticed as he turned the corner was a bowed figure with a fluttering cloak. Eyes widening, Kenny did his best duck and cover, darting out of the way of the person and into the bushes to the side of the sidewalk. He wasn't sure what made him do it, but he was glad he did because a moment later, he recognized the form as Craig Tucker himself, headed down the sidewalk with a backpack slung over his shoulders.

Keeping quiet, the poor boy watched silently as the Noirette approached. Narrowing his gaze, Kenny caught sight of the bruise on the side of the boy's face and the red-rimmed eyes. Taking note of both, Kenny nibbled on his lip as he worked out what he could only assume had happened.  _Headed for Tweek's house? Hmm… I wonder if Tweek knows why?_  Letting the thoughts dissipate, Kenny shrugged internally.  _I'll have to tell Karen to ask Ruby if she's alright._

Waiting patiently for the upset boy to turn the corner, Kenny softly crept out from behind his chosen bit of cover and straightened, sucking in his cheeks in thought.  _Funny how one walk can bring forth so much interest._  Clicking his teeth together once, Kenny decisively turned back towards where he'd been headed and walked down the sidewalk, putting the issue from his mind entirely.  _Tweekers'll handle it just fine, I'd just be unwelcome._

Besides, he had somewhere he wanted to be. Mood souring at once, Kenny recalled the sight of a tearful Butters being yelled at once again by his dad and he frowned. Far be it for  _him_  of all people to comment on how parents should or shouldn't treat their children, but he was perfectly happy to place Butters' father firmly into the category of 'complete dicks'. The boy didn't deserve the shit that was leveled at him, but then, neither did half the kids in this goddamn town so Kenny supposed there was no point to complain about the matter.

Tugging the hood of his parka up and tightening the strings, Kenny stuffed his hands in his pockets and ducked his head down as a car passed him. They didn't stop to question why a kid like him was out at this time of night, but then, just because South Park was a small place didn't mean its residents cared much for each other. Kenny could confidently say that he liked it that way. Just cause he knew everyone didn't mean he wanted everyone to talk to him. No, he very much preferred to be in control of who he talked to and when he chose to converse with them.

Right now, all he wanted to do was get to Butters house so he could roll in through the window and onto the boy's bed where he could cheer the emotional boy up after the tongue lashing he'd no doubt received. That, to Kenny, sounded like a perfect way to spend a night. Humming tunelessly under his breath, Kenny looked both ways before crossing the street before hurrying to the other side. Just because he knew what getting crushed by a speeding vehicle felt like didn't mean he wanted a repeat.

Counting the houses, Kenny swerved into the Stotch's yard, carefully peering through their windows to get a read on where Butters' parents were. After all, the last thing he wanted to do was get the boy in more trouble. He didn't deserve that, not at all. Catching sight of the boy's mom in the kitchen and the boy's dad in front of the television, Kenny quickly darted around towards the side of the house were Butters' room was on. There was nothing to it really, he'd snuck into harder places.

Using a drainpipe that he knew wasn't going to fall on him, like Tweek's had that one time that he preferred to forget, Kenny swung himself up towards Butters' room, a smile on his face. He'd always adored the boy after all, ever since meeting him in fact. He knew full well that Cartman and the others had tried to replace him with Butters once, but he didn't hold that against the sweet blond. The boy wouldn't hurt a fly, much less maliciously try to replace someone. It had just been circumstances, and besides, Kenny almost wanted to thank the other boys for bringing Butters to his attention.

Creeping along the roof towards the boy's bedroom, Kenny jiggled the window carefully until he got the thing unlocked before slowly pushing it up and unceremoniously rolling through Butter's window and into the boy's room. Sitting up on Butters bed, Kenny found the boy in question staring at him from next to the door, half undressed, his Paladin headband still pushing his hair out of his face. As the boy turned bright red and tried to stutter something out, Kenny spread his arms wide and announced, albeit softly, "It's me Butterfree~ Betcha weren't expecting that, huh?"

"Kenny!" the boy squeaked, his big blue eyes widening further as he squirmed under Kenny's gaze. "W-what are you doin' here?" He looked so worried, Kenny started to feel a little guilty. Lowering his arms slightly, the boy in the orange parka reeled back some of his excitement and attempted to look a bit more composed. Butters, meanwhile, stammered, "I mean, it's real late an' all, y'should be in bed!"

"Come on," Kenny coaxed, shutting the window behind him as if to solidify his position in Butters room. "Who needs to go to bed when there's you to talk to?" Flopping down on Butters' bed, which was a great deal more comfortable than his own, Kenny propped his chin up on his elbows and gave the boy a wide grin. "Trust me Butternut, there's nothing I like more than coming over here."

That was actually true, Kenny liked being around Butters more than he did most anyone, excepting his little sister. The boy was much kinder than the rest of South Park, and honest to a fault. Whereas most people got annoyed when Kenny showed up unannounced, Butters always seemed to be genuinely happy and though the boy didn't really mind annoying people, he liked that there was one person who actually wanted him around.

Suddenly jerking back into action, as if needing to do something, the smaller blond stumbled around trying to get out of his Paladin costume. "I-I dunno Kenny, I'm already in enough trouble as it is!" Watching the boy's back as he finally managed to pull off the turquoise tunic he spent most of his afternoons in, Kenny allowed his face to fall into a frown. Of course, he already knew that, but he would rather not tell Butters that he'd seen his parents berating him.  _It's embarrassing, after all._

So instead he pulled a pout just as Butters turned back to him and said, "Aww, what's that supposed to mean? Why would you get in trouble?" When Butters muttered under his breath, Kenny dragged his bottom lip in and nibbled at it. If it had been anyone else, he wouldn't have had a problem with coercing the information from them, but Butters was different. Kenny didn't like manipulating the boy, it always left him with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Thankfully, this time, it didn't take any coercion. "M-my parent's grounded me again," Butters' muttered, probably trying to sound mad but only sounding pitifully upset. Heart lurching, Kenny held back the anger that always surged up when he heard of the continuous injustices leveled at Butters by his parents. Instead, he watched as the boy struggled into his soft pajamas while he continued, "If they caught y'up here, I'd b-be in all sorts'a trouble."

Sitting upright so he could cross his legs under him, Kenny pulled down the hood of his parka and said, "Come on, grounded again?" choosing to completely ignore the second part of the sentence. When Butters turned to look at him, Kenny let a sympathetic expression come over his face. "What was it this time?"

"It wasn't even m-me!" Butters exclaimed softly, crossing his arms over his chest and wandering over towards his closet. "It was Craig an' Tweek and them all breakin' Craig outta detention! I didn't even think it was a good idea! I told y'at lunch, it's s-stupid, it'll only get us in trouble an' stuff. " Feeling a knot of guilt well up in his chest, Kenny pulled a face that Butters didn't see. He couldn't help but feel partially responsible for the whole thing. It had been his idea, after all, to break Craig out of detention in the first place. "But now I'm grounded 'cause they all got in trouble for it an' my dad doesn't want me t'get any ideas or nothin'."

Stuffing his own thoughts back into his skull, Kenny spread his arms wide and said, "Come on, do they really think you'd do something like that?" Shaking his head, tutting under his breath, Kenny said, "Your parents just don't know you that well Butterfly, you're much too smart to be breaking anyone out of detention."

Looking up at him, Butters turned pink and mumbled, "Ah, well, I dunno 'bout that, I guess I just don't got the guts t'do something like that." Hanging up his costume, Butters stared into his closet for a moment more before closing the doors and wandering over to his light switch. "Y'all are much more brave than I am."

Disliking the self-deprecating tone Butters had somehow picked up, Kenny shook his head and frowned as the boy turned the lights out, leaving only his bedside lamp on. "You know that's not true, you're one of the best warriors in the whole game!" Kenny insisted truthfully. "We wouldn't be doing nearly so well if it weren't for you."

Shuffling towards his bed, Butters climbed into the thing and huddled up under the covers, his toes digging under Kenny's leg as if to warm them up. "I'm not gonna be much use t'anyone for a few days," he told Kenny, resting his arms on his knees, which he had drawn to his chest. "I'm gonna be trapped up here for so long, y'might finish th' game without me!"

Leaning towards the boy, Kenny bent down till he was able to look into Butters' eyes before saying, "Don't worry, as the Princess, I'll make sure to visit you every day if I have to." He meant it too, he'd do anything to get Butters to smile, even just a little bit. Just as he'd hoped, the blond smiled slightly and turned pink, as he was given to do when anyone complimented him. "Besides," Kenny continued, physically having to shake himself away from staring into Butters' eyes. "I'll bet you anything Tweek and Craig will be in detention for at  _least_  a day after this debacle."

Shifting under the covers, Butters sighed and said, "I guess you're right…"

"Of course I am!" Kenny said brightly sitting up and putting his hands on his hips so he could puff his chest out proudly. "I'm  _always_  right about these kinds of things Butterscotch, just you wait. Those two will be stuck in detention, practically sitting in each other's laps for at least two days after this."

Giggling, Butters grinned and said, "Y-you've gotta point there, they are awful close, aren't they?" His eyes lit up as he thought about it, as if the thought of Tweek and Craig made him strangely happy. "I mean, I thought they didn't much like each other, after fighin' like they did, b-but they seem to be buddies now!"

"You don't know the  _half_  of it," Kenny crooned, falling over so he was resting against Butters knees. Waving his hands ceiling-ward, Kenny continued, "You'd have thought that they wouldn't get along after beating the stuffing out of each other but look at them now! Those two are joined at the  _hip_ , they are inseparable if you ask me."

Letting out another one of his cute giggles, Butters agreed, "They really are! They're such good friends, it makes me happy to see Tweek finally found someone t'talk to. He was so lonely before, y'know?" As if an idea had just seized him, Butters let out a little gasp and asked, "D-d'y'think that maybe, I dunno, Craig and Tweek have got crushes on each other?" When Kenny straightened abruptly and turned to look at the boy, Butters flushed and quickly continued, "I mean, I know they're both boys an' all, b-but that don't really matter, r-right?"

_As I've said before, the poster children for seeing what you want to._  Unable to come up with something coherent to say, Kenny finally settled on laughing and half tackling the boy in a hug. "Oh Butters, my sweet,  _adorable_  little ball of confusion, you're so precious.  _So precious,"_  he cooed, picturing Tweek and Craig together and snickering at it again. "Wouldn't that just be the bestest if they ended up together?" Letting go of the spluttering blond, Kenny fell back on the pillow next to the boy and spread his hands wide. "Tweek and Craig, the best couple you'd ever seen."

Relaxing against his own pillow, Butters admitted, "I think it'd be real sweet if they got together, y'know, cause they're so close now."  _Leave it to Butters of all people to see a romantic relationship where everyone else is too blind to seen anything but a platonic one._  Grinning, Kenny rolled over and snuggled up against the boy, delighting in the embarrassed squeaks he managed to provoke from Butters.

"I think it would be amazing," Kenny agreed, stilling as he curled up over the covers that Butters was curled up beneath. Taking a moment to just quietly breathe, listening to the other boy's breathing as well, Kenny mumbled through his face full of covers, "Of course, you know South Park, they'd probably hate them for it."

"I dunno about that," Butters answered back, his voice sounding tired, making Kenny feel his own exhaustion begin to creep up on him. "I think we're getting' better, doncha think? I mean, m-maybe we're not all that nice right now, b-but I think that if they did end up fallin' in love an' such, people wouldn't mind all that much."

"I hope you're right Buttercream," Kenny commented, rolling over so he was staring at the ceiling. Sitting up, even though he could have lain next to Butters all night, the boy continued, "Of course, we'll need to finish the game first, otherwise Cartman will make their lives hell."

"Eric's not all that bad," Butters insisted, fidgeting with his covers as he got comfortable. "H-he can be a big ol' meanie sometimes, b-but I think he's just lonely." Closing his eyes, the boy finished, "Deep down, he ain't all that bad. No one's that evil once you get down to their gooey center."

Staring down at the boy, fighting the burst of jealousy that leaped up, Kenny muttered, "I suppose you're right Butterfly, I suppose you're right." As he watched the boy's body relax as sleep claimed him, Kenny reflected that it didn't take a lot of digging to get to Butters' gooey center.

As the boy slipped into sleep, Kenny slowly slipped off of the boy's bed and turned off his bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness, all except for the windows, which cast moonlight over Butters' bed. Clambering back onto the boy's bed, Kenny looked down at the peacefully sleeping boy. His hands were drawn close to his face and his lips were parted slightly like he'd been about to say something else but had fallen asleep before he could.

Staring down at the boy, Kenny felt that by-now familiar flutter in his chest and let out a long, slow sigh. He'd memorized every bit of the boy, from his pale, river blue eyes to his floppy, bleach blond hair, to his soft, round face that screamed innocent and kind. Really, Kenny knew that he was only torturing himself with what he couldn't have, but he hadn't exactly had a say in the matter. Sometimes, his brain did what it wanted and he couldn't stop it or even begin to slow it down.

Which was probably why he'd fallen head over heels for Butters after first meeting him.

Puffing out his cheeks, Kenny let out a soft laugh and said, "Latter Butternut, keeping being you for me, alright?" When the sleeping boy didn't answer, Kenny turned and pushed open the window before slipping through it and clambering onto the roof.

After all, he'd see the boy tomorrow. For now, there was a lot he had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO CUTE!!
> 
> Kenny's got a little crush~~  
> ?  
> So, I've got another question for y'all that's been tugging at the back of my mind. Who's your favorite background character? I mean, in the story. So that basically just excludes Tweek and Craig. Other than those two, who do you like the best? As you might have guessed, Kenny's my favorite. I know, I'm trash, but he's such a multi-faceted character that it would take me another whole story to fully explore him. I love it.
> 
> But I want to know who _you_ like!!


	50. Seriously Pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***drifts in* Is it weird that I feel like I have to cheer people on to get them to read this monstrosity?? I mean, who actually picks up a story this long and actually chooses to read it? Maybe I should put convenient markers so people can skip to whatever plot line the want to read about...**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **But that is not something for you to worry about XD.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Unless of course you want to discuss how the story's going... Because if you do want to talk to some[like-minded individuals](https://discord.gg/eramcuT) then you should come join the discord and do so!! It'd be cool to have you around.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Now I must go. *vanishes***
> 
>  
> 
> Original A/N: I would like to point out that if I had gone with my original plan, the story would be over. I'm sure we can agree to this is much better.
> 
> So if anyone's counting, Clyde apparently has the majority when it comes to the most popular secondary character. Honestly, I am unsurprised. He's such a sweet, adorable puppy dog and his nickname for Tweek is legitimately one of my favorite things ever.
> 
> But alas, we will have to wait for his perspective. For now, we get to see inside of Stan's head instead.
> 
> Enjoy.

“Ah! Fuck fuck fuck fuck~”

“Are you done moving yet?” Sucking in a breath, Stan hugged his knees tighter and allowed Kyle to finish stretching his current band-aid over the bloody stripe he’d managed to incur from the sharp lip of Tweek’s frying pan. The antibacterial ointment stung, probably because it was the old tube he’d dug up from the back of the medicine cabinet. Even so, he hadn’t screamed yet so he felt like he was doing just fine. Biting his hand, Stan hissed as Kyle dabbed more of the greasy stuff over his injury before putting another flower-covered bandaid over it.

“You’re making this take way longer than it needs to,” Kyle puffed out, sitting back for a moment, giving Stan a moment to breathe. Though he sounded irritated, Stan knew better than to assume he was. He knew the redhead well enough to know when he was worried and trying not to act it. For that, he was grateful. Bad enough that he’d lost the fight in the first place, he didn’t also need Kyle mother-henning him unnecessarily.

“Dude, do you want to trade places?” Stan asked, twisting his head around to see his friend, who was frowning. The boy’s emerald eyes were fixed on his back, as though he were trying to scare the abrasion into healing with just his glare alone. Well, if anyone could do it, Stan guessed that it would be Kyle. “This seriously sucks, you try and sit still through something like this.”

Rolling his eyes, even though his frown deepened, Kyle muttered, “Well you could at least pretend not to make it such a big deal.” Despite his disgruntled words, the boy was gentle as he went back to cleaning Stan’s injury. The reason they were using the burny cream in the first place was because Kyle insisted that he _didn’t know where Tweek’s club had been and if you got sick from an infection, that would be really inconvenient._ In the end, Stan supposed he didn’t mind. It gave him an excuse to have Kyle over, even though he really didn’t need one.

“It’s not a big deal,” Stan insisted, digging a hand under the helmet he had yet to take off so he could run fingers through his hair. “It just fucking hurts dude.” He could practically hear Kyle roll his eyes again, but he was distracted when another dollop of ointment was smoothed over his open cut and another band-aid was stretched over it.

“I didn’t realize Tweek hit that hard,” Kyle muttered, his tone rueful. Stan agreed, he looked like he’d been beaten up, what with all the black and blue marks covering him. The one on his back just happened to be the worst of it, but his ribs looked like they’d been kicked by a horse and he was pretty sure his knees were going to hurt for days to come. The most he could really say was that he’d come out of it alive. “I mean, he’s _Tweek.”_

“That shouldn’t have been such a one-sided fight,” Stan agreed, looking at the back of his hand at his knuckles, which were bruised and even a little bloody. They creaked as he gently straightened them, sending little jolts of pain through his hand and up his wrist. He was pretty sure he heard Kyle wince. “I’m telling you, Kyle, he was a fucking demon. I honestly thought he was going to kill me or something.”

Stan could hear the way Kyle’s teeth ground together, proving his suspicion that the boy was upset. Furrowing his brow, Stan looked at the duvet cover on his bed without really seeing it as he tried to gauge how out of sorts the redhead behind him was and why. _Still worried about me?_ Feeling the need to distract him, the raven-haired boy quickly continued, “Speaking of weird, Craig was out of it as well. I mean, I know what the game stats are just as well as you do, but he should have done better. It was like he was letting me kick the shit out of him.”

Eyes traveling to his bedside table, then to his closed door, Stan added, “I dunno dude, maybe it was just me but stuff was all over the place today. I’m not sure if any of it made sense.” As Kyle’s fingers pressed another Band-Aid over Stan’s skin, the boy bit his lip to hold back his hiss of pain. He wasn’t sure how much longer this was going to go on, but at some point, Kyle was either going to run out of skin or run out of Band-Aids.

“That second fight was bullshit,” Kyle muttered darkly, sounding more upset with himself than with Stan or even Tweek. “I never should have let myself be convinced by Tweek, you shouldn’t have fought someone else.” Rotating his head, worriedly looking over at his super best friend, Stan wasn’t exactly surprised to find an angry and miserable expression on Kyle’s face.

The boy still hadn’t changed out of his game costume. His red and gold robe was puddled around him as he sat on the bed and his crown/hat combination was tilted over, like he didn’t care enough to straighten it. When his brown eyes met Kyle’s green ones, Stan felt something lodge in his throat. He hated to see the boy this upset, it always made him feel stupidly helpless, like he should be able to keep the other boy from ever having to be distressed and he’d somehow failed.

“Dude, there was no way you could have known that Tweek was going to act like that,” Stan insisted, clearing his throat awkwardly as he pulled his tunic back down over his back and moved to face Kyle. “Besides, they did sort of have a point, I was supposed to fight Tweek originally and instead I fought Craig, who was way weaker.”

“No, they didn’t have a point,” Kyle spat, looking away from Stan so he could roughly jam the cap back on the antibacterial ointment  like he was mad at it. “Craig threw himself in front of Tweek, Craig fought you, Craig lost. I shouldn’t have let you fight Tweek, it was stupid of me.” Shoving the two remaining Band-Aids back into their original box, Kyle continued, “I got cocky and I thought I could one-up that fatass and you paid the price.”

Opening his mouth to speak, Stan was cut off by his friend suddenly pushing off of his bed with the medical supplies while he said, in a louder voice, “He’s such a smug _bastard-“_ He threw Stan’s door open. “About literally _everything-”_ There was a similar crash as Kyle presumably treated the bathroom door the same way. “That whenever I see him, I just want to wipe that smirk off his _face!”_ An alarming series of crashes followed by Kyle’s shout of, “Shit!” pushed Stan off of his bed so he could find his friend.

Somehow, in the process of putting the medical supplies away, Kyle had managed to trip over his own robes and push half of the things out of the cabinet as he tried and failed to keep his balance. The result was a very angry redhead tangled up on the floor amid bottles of cream and cases of pills. Though it probably should have been comical, Stan could only furrow his brows in worry as he knelt next to Kyle, who simply glared at the ceiling. “It’s all _bullshit.”_

“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Stan said with a sigh, fetching Kyle’s Trapper’s hat and crown from where it had fallen. As he messed with the familiar green material, the boy kept talking, his voice as steady as he could make it. “It’s not all bullshit. Of course Cartman’s an asshole, he’s always been an asshole. I know you hate it, of course you want to get one over on him. Hell, I want to get one over on him.”  Looking up from Kyle’s hat at the boy himself, Stan found him glaring at his knees as he ran his fingers through his wild ginger hair.

“When does this game even end Stan?” Kyle demanded, his tone mutinous. “Are we just going to keep this up forever? When does Cartman take off that hat and Kenny put down the bow and I lose the stupid crown and we all just go back to being friends?” Pushing himself to his feet, even though he was limping awkwardly, Kyle shouted after him, “Why’d I even agree to this bullshit in the first place?”

Watching the boy vanish, Stan quickly got to his feet and left the bathroom a mess in favor of following Kyle. “You agreed because it’s fun,” Stan reminded his friend, walking back into his room to find Kyle pacing back and forth at the end of his bed. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists, like he wanted to hit something but wasn’t sure what to hit. “Dude, you’re an Elven _King._ There are people in our grade who do all sorts of stupid things, just cause you tell them to. Who doesn’t want to do that?”

“Me!” Kyle burst out, turning those blazing emerald eyes on Stan. “I’m not like Cartman, I don’t want that kind of power!” _He’s been fine with it up until now, what suddenly changed?_ When Stan only tilted his head slightly in worried confusion, Kyle let out a loud scoff and threw his hands in the air. “Then only reason I agreed to be King or High Jew Elf or whatever is because Cartman said that’s what I was going to be. I didn’t _choose_ anything!”

Concern bubbling in his gut, Stan tightened his fingers around the Trapper’s hat that still hung from one of his hands. “Okay, so it wasn’t your choice, so what?” the raven-haired boy said stubbornly, shifting his weight. “It’s all just a game Kyle, it’s not like we’re real soldiers killing each other.”

“But when does it stop being a game?” Kyle demanded, facing the wall as he stood there, stock still. Wanting to reach for the boy, simply to calm him down, yet unsure if it would be welcome, Stan awkwardly stood his ground, staring at the redhead. “When do people put down their weapons and say that Cartman and I are being unreasonable? Where’s the line and how is anyone supposed to know when it’s being crossed when everyone’s so eager to bleed and _die_ for an imaginary faction in a make-believe game?”

Getting frustrated an unable to figure out why, Stan waved the hand that held Kyle’s crow around as he exclaimed, “No one is dying! We’re just playing Kyle, we’re allowed to have fun, remember? If people want to take it seriously than let them! I’m taking it seriously, I want to win this thing, don’t you want to win as well?”

“We already have the stick!” Kyle shot back, whirling around, gesturing widely with his hands as he did so. “We’re already better than Cartman. He might have managed to stop us from getting more territory this time but that’s because he was cheating. If I waved my hand at random at a piece of South Park, there would be forty boys at least who would leap up and take that territory. What more is there to win Stan?” Breathing heavily, the boy let his hands fall to his sides gradually. “When does the game end?”

Feeling his insides do that unpleasant thing they did when Kyle looked at him with those sad, frustrated eyes, Stan heaved in a breath of his own before shrugging. “I dunno,” he admitted, because there was no point in pretending like he understood what Cartman’s end goal was. “I guess when we get bored of it.”

Swallowing hard, looking over Stan almost like he wanted to start yelling again, Kyle managed to ask, “When does it get to be a game again, Stan? When?” The redhead’s voice was so thick, Stan wondered if Kyle was going to cry, even though Kyle didn’t _cry._ Realizing the boy was looking at the nasty bruise on the side of his face, Stan’s chest compressed as the air in his lungs left him in a whoosh. _Oh… I get it now._

Sighing slightly as understanding started to filter through the cracks in his mind, Stan tossed Kyle’s crown onto his desk before walking over to the slightly shorter boy. Standing in front of him, the bruised boy lifted his chin and said very clearly, “Kyle, I’m alright, okay. Tweek might’ve put me through the wringer, but I’m fine dude.”

Face crumpling in dismayed defeat, Kyle crossed his arms and mumbled, “Bullshit, look at you. I shouldn’t have let you fight him at all, this is my fault. I was just being stupid because I wanted to show Cartman that the Elves were better than the Humans. It’s not even real and I still let you get beat up over it.” Feeling horrible in the face of Kyle’s upset frustration, Stan opened his mouth to say something before giving up and simply wrapping an arm around his super best friend, pulling the boy into his shoulder.

He’d done similar for years, as long as they’d been friends as far as Stan was concerned. Kyle had always had this habit of getting unbelievably worked up over seemingly inconsequential things and though he didn’t know why it happened, Stan had learned through trial and error that sometimes, his presence was enough to calm the boy down. It didn’t exactly make much sense, but he’d accepted it a long time ago and honestly, he found it equally calming to be able to reign in Kyle’s anger and frustration put it to rest.

As Kyle’s curly hair brushed up against his neck, Stan tried to take deep, calming breaths in an attempt to soothe the other boy. Like he’d taken the starch out of Kyle’s spine, the boy relaxed against Stan, winding fingers in the front of the raven-haired boy’s tunic as if he needed something to keep himself steady. Lifting his free hand, Stan allowed himself to run his fingers through Kyle’s wild hair, even though usually he considered the boy’s hair to be off-limits. Tamed as he already was, this action made Kyle practically melt against him as the strain of the day drained from him.

Looking through the wild strands of Kyle’s hair at his wall, Stan quietly murmured, “I took it way more serious than I should have, you’re right, we’re forgetting where the lines are. I chose to fight today Kyle. You originally wanted to send Chris in but I insisted you send me. It’s not even a little bit your fault dude.” As he untangled the strands of Kyle’s bright red hair, Stan felt the boy let out a soft breath that crawled over his neck and sent weird chills down his spine.

“You stepped in because he’d already fought,” Kyle muttered, his voice muffled by Stan’s shoulder, which he still hadn’t moved away from.  “That was you being a decent human being and seeing what I should have seen first.” At that self-deprecating tone, Stan couldn’t help but hold Kyle all the more firmly.

Feeling some of his own shame work its way over his face, Stan cleared his throat and admitted, “Nah, I just wanted to impress you and stuff.” It was true, Stan had been feeling almost pathetically useless when he’d been denied the fight for Kenny’s territory that he’d been promised earlier. It had only turned to a stupid feeling of jealousy and inferiority when Chris Donnelly, who’d already managed to fight Tweek and Craig’s battalion, had been picked by Kyle to represent the Elves in the gladiator match. Though he felt ashamed of it now, Stan knew that he’d been desperate to remind Kyle that _he_ was the redhead’s right hand man and not Chris.

Abruptly letting out a weird laugh that left his chest feeling warm, Kyle drew back from Stan and looked at him with those big, emerald eyes that were blessedly free of the anger and frustration from earlier. “You looked pretty badass fighting Craig,” Kyle admitted, a smile stretching those freckled cheeks. “Your sword is a whole lot bigger than most everyone else’s and I don’t care that it’s just wooden, you’re really good with that sword of yours.”

Even though he knew he shouldn’t, Stan couldn’t help but swell with repressed laughter. As Kyle looked at him in confusion, Stan snickered, quickly putting a hand over his mouth to hide his wide grin. Mouth opening slightly as he tried to work out why Stan was laughing, Kyle’s eyes suddenly widened and he turned a bright cherry red. “Dude!” he yelped, which only made Stan laugh harder.

“What Kyle,” Stan asked, clutching his stomach as his ribs protested his wheezing laughter. “Anything else you want to say about my –pfft- _sword?”_ Dodging the slap that the red-faced Kyle attempted to land on him, Stan stumbled backwards and landed against his bed where he pulled his knees to his chest, curled up and laughed until he was pretty sure he was crying.

Poor Kyle could do nothing but sputter and yell, “YOU FILTHY BASTARD!” over and over again. Of course, that only encouraged Stan’s mirth, which was honestly starting to make his stomach hurt. “I fucking hate you sometimes!” the redhead blustered, crossing his arms and flopping to the ground beside Stan’s bed so he could lean against it and pout. Swallowing the snickering that threatened to overwhelm him again, Stan wiped at the tears in the corners of his eyes with the back of his sleeve before taking a deep breath and grinning again.

“Come on, you were kind of asking for that one,” Stan said once he’d finally gotten his vocal chords back under control. _Damn, I’ve missed being able to have fun with Kyle, it feels like everything is so serious now._ When Kyle kept sulking, Stan stretched out over his bed and leaned over the side so he could look down at Kyle’s head. Taking another long breath, Stan said, in a more serious voice, “Thanks though dude, you make a pretty epic High Elf.”

Ducking his head slightly, revealing the flush on the nape of his neck that revealed Stan had succeeded in flustering him slightly, Kyle muttered, “Yeah well, it’s not that hard.” Chuckling at the boy’s embarrassment, Stan propped his head up on his arm and listened as Kyle continued, “I mean if Cartman can lead the Humans then it’s not rocket science.”

Thinking about the boy, Stan commented, “Everyone knows that it’s really Kenny who’s doing everything. Cartman’s just good at pretending to be in charge.” As he talked, he stared down at Kyle’s curly hair and wondered, as he so often did, why the boy was so weird about not letting anyone see it. He thought it was magnificent, but he wasn’t about to argue with the redhead about something that he had no control over.

“I still don’t know what Kenny’s angle is,” Kyle muttered, messing with his robes as he thought. “I mean, he gives us the Stick, then he prevents us from fighting a war that would have definitely ended with us losing territory. What’s his deal? Who’s he really fighting for?”

“Don’t ask me,” Stan muttered, letting his hand dangle over the edge of the bed so he could reach down and tug at the flyaway pieces of red hair that stuck up from Kyle’s mass of curls. “I mean, he’s undermining Cartman, but at the same time he seems to really support Butters. And then there’s the whole thing with Craig and Tweek and I don’t even know what that’s all about. He’s acting really weird to me.”

Chuckling, Kyle let his head fall back so he could stare up at Stan with big, slightly glazed eyes. His lids were half-lowered and he looked more relaxed than he’d seemed all week. “Who even knows. Does Kenny even know what he’s doing?” Wrapping one of his fingers in one of Kyle’s tight curls, Stan managed to provoke a soft sigh from the boy.

“Probably not.” Eyes growing unfocused, Stan blew out a breath through the corners of his mouth before asking, “What do you think is up with Tweek and Craig, man? Kenny totally planned that whole gladiator match because of them, I’d bet on it. So what’s so interesting about them?”

“You know Kenny loves to stir things up,” Kyle mumbled, scrunching up his face before smoothing it out. “But you’re right, there’s something up with them.” After another moment of comfortable silence, Kyle finished, “I think they’re just really good friends. Kind of like us, just weird.”

Nodding, letting his hand hang limply so he could simply brush it through Kyle’s soft hair, Stan said, “We don’t act like them though dude, they act like they’re dating or something. That’s a little weird.” Kyle nodded tiredly in agreement under his fingers.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Kyle muttered. “But that still doesn’t explain Kenny.”

As the silence stretched between them once more, both Stan and Kyle puzzling over the matter of Kenny in their sleep-addled brains to the best of their ability, Stan finally shook himself awake and said, “Do you want to play Call of Duty or something?”

Eyes popping open, Kyle smiled tiredly and admitted, “You know what, yeah, I would like to.”

And even though he was sore and tired, the sight of Kyle’s smile made Stan feel a million times better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this from a fancy shmacy restaurant in the middle of Atlanta Georgia. It's the road again for me, soon I shall return home and start answering your comments once more~
> 
> As I've made a habit of asking questions, I'm curious to know, what's the most interesting place you've ever been. The coolest place I've ever been is New Orleans. It's so steeped in culture and full to bursting with life. I could have written a million stories about those back alleys and crumbling shotgun houses.
> 
> But I'm curious about y'all~ indulge me ◉‿◉


	51. Coming Up Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first off, I'M SO SORRY I MISSED UPDATING YESTERDAY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GUILTY I FEEL!!! Seriously, I'm such a piece of shit, I should have posted, but I just... Stuff came up and I wasted so much time doing other things *is very sorry*
> 
> But I'm here now, I promise that I won't do it again!!
> 
> Also, we've got more fanart!!! Captain_Cap is wonderful and beautiful for doing this frankly amazing piece of art of Tweek with a NASA Tee-shirt and a coffee cup and I love it so much. I totally can picture Craig having a shirt like this and lending it to Tweek and AHHH!!! --> https://definedetermined.deviantart.com/art/Java-Jockey-722906408 Seriously, check it out.
> 
> Now, without further adieu
> 
> Enjoy.

Craig didn't wake up in his own bed, but he did wake up warm, content, and at peace.

He wasn't disoriented, there was no moment of panic as he tried to remember how he'd gotten there. Perhaps there should have been, after all, it's not exactly normal to wake up like that, but he was calm. Because somehow, he sort of  _knew_  where he was and that made everything alright. Why panic when he knew that he was okay.

It wasn't often he woke up like this, Craig chose to savor it while he could.

The spot next to him was slightly warmer than the rest of the bed. Slowly, he rolled over into the heated spot that Tweek had undoubtedly left behind before wondering absently how long it had been since the boy had gotten up. He was surprised at how good he felt. He'd half expected to wake up feeling like shit, as he usually did after an evening like last night, but instead, his usual neutrality had already returned. Hell, he'd really meant it when he'd thought of it as peace. Sure, life sucked, but Tweek didn't, and currently, he was with the blond and not at his home so everything was fine.

As memories started to filter through his head, Craig's body ached and he held back a soft groan. He could remember talking to Tweek, could remember trying to convince the boy that everything was fine. To be frank, he should have known that Tweek would see through his bullshit, the boy knew him too well to just believe that he was fine when he was so clearly not. But then, he hadn't expected the blond to have the nerve to pry into the matter once he'd shut it down.

 _I cried, didn't I?_  It was strange, he'd expected to feel worse about it, but really, he actually felt better. If it had been anyone else, Craig would have hated himself for it, felt weak for letting himself fall apart, but it was  _Tweek._  Even though he didn't know exactly what that meant, he knew it meant that he didn't have to worry about being looked at as less for what had happened. Tweek wouldn't treat him differently.  _And besides, he still thinks it's the monsters._  That was probably lying, but Craig would have called his parents monsters any day of the week so it wasn't  _entirely_  a lie either, right?

He couldn't quite remember what Tweek and he had talked about just before he'd fallen asleep, he did, however, recall how much calmer he'd felt with his arms around the other boy.  _Heh, I guess I've never had a friend like this before. I've never had someone like Tweek._  Speaking of the boy... Though they felt crusted shut, Craig pulled his reluctant eyes open and blinked them several times before edging his head above the covers. The blonde's room was sunlit and quiet, but it didn't feel empty like the rest of the boy's house. No, instead it felt like Tweek, and Craig liked that.

Looking about slowly, Craig found Tweek already staring at him, a cup of coffee clutched between his fingers. On it, the words,  _Addicted to Pot,_  with a little coffee pot in place of the o, were written in big bold black print. Craig wasn't quite sure if he was supposed to find it funny or not. If anyone else had been holding the cup, he would have assumed it was a joke, but considering it was Tweek, he wasn't altogether convinced that it wasn't, in fact, a warning label of sorts. As the blond blinked twitchily, Craig closed his eyes once more and relaxed back against Tweek's numerous pillows.  _It's Tuesday, isn't it? Fuck..._

"We have school," Craig muttered into the pillow, who's pillowcase was the same green as the shirts Tweek always wore. His voice was miserably scratchy, but he'd expected that.  _Christ, I have to cover all these marks, don't I? Well, at least I have that fight with Stan as an excuse. Only Tweek is going to know the difference._  Opening his eyes once more, Craig gave a one-eyed look at Tweek, who shivered under his gaze.

"Y-yeah, we do," the boy agreed, taking several gulps of coffee as he did so. His green eyes were flickering over Craig, a bit of worry still in them. Though Craig didn't blame the boy, he hoped that expression would vanish soon. He'd be fine, after all, he didn't exactly need Tweek spending all his time treating him like glass. "But don't worry! We have p-plenty of time."

"Maybe we can catch the bus or something," he mumbled, wanting more time to sleep and knowing that he wasn't going to get it. Not when Tweek was sitting there watching him and there was light streaming through the windows.  _Well, better now than later I guess..._ Sitting up, even though his back, ribs, and other various extremities protested his movements, Craig glanced first at Tweek's clock then at the boy himself. "How long have you been up?" he asked, eyes drifting as he did.

"Not that long," Tweek squeaked, twitching. Eyes growing wide, he suddenly blurted out, "I was gonna make you –ngh- c-coffee or something, b-but I didn't know if you liked coffee and I couldn't find the hot chocolate or anything so I just didn't make you anything!" He shifted back and forth in his chair nervously, as if he expected Craig to get upset.  _I never would, not with him._

"I've never actually had coffee," Craig admitted, eyes traveling to Tweek's desk. There was a small Lego creature sitting there, and though he couldn't be sure, he was pretty sure that it looked like Stripe. Absently, Craig continued, "But I'm sure if you made me coffee, I'd like it."

"Jesus man, y-you don't know that!" Yanking at his hair with a hand, Tweek moaned, "W-what if you hated it!?"

"Well I'd have to try it first," Craig reminded Tweek, looking away from the Lego Stripe at last.  _He's so talented, I wonder if it's because his mind is always so full of ideas that he has to let them out somehow…_  "Besides, wouldn't your family have the best coffee."

Tweek shook his head vehemently, twitching hard as he did so. "N-no way!" Looking as though he were about to say something that he wasn't supposed to, Tweek confided, "Actually, I try not to even drink most kinds of coffee my parents have. Th-there's something weird about it man, I only –ngh- d-drink it when they offer it to me or something. I keep separate bags of coffee downstairs even." Shivering, Tweek muttered, "Jesus, w-what if it's actually poison or mind control drugs or something! I d-don't want you messing with that stuff."

"I'm sure you wouldn't let them poison me," Craig told Tweek, reassuring him. As he spoke, his eyes wandered again. Though he hadn't noticed it the night before, now that he was conscious, he couldn't help but stare at what Tweek was wearing. The familiar picture on the front made his brows furrow for a moment before a ball of warmth grew in his chest. He wasn't even sure why seeing the blond with his pirate guinea pig shirt on made him so happy, but it definitely did.  _Now I'm just being ridiculous... I must still be tired or something._

Needing to distract himself, Craig looked back at Tweek's face and asked, "Did you get any sleep?" He wasn't sure why he was asking about something like that, it wasn't like it mattered to the blond. Though he'd originally been mildly alarmed over Tweek's sleep schedule, he'd quickly learned that sleep did very little to affect the blond either way. He was still just as spastic either way. Besides, he drank so much coffee that it probably didn't matter whether his body was worn out or not. Yet he still found himself asking because he had a feeling that Tweek had stayed by his side the whole night and that couldn't have been interesting if the boy hadn't gotten any sleep.

Jerking right, Tweek took several more sips of coffee before answering, "Yeah man, I -ngh- g-got lots of sleep actually!" Shivering, he fussed with his mug as he continued, "I m-mean, I don't usually sleep like that, b-but with you there it was like the monsters didn't really matter, you know? I think you scared them away!" Looking at Tweek's wide-eyed expression for a few seconds, Craig put his head down slightly. It felt oddly reassuring to know that he wasn't the only one who's monsters quieted down when they were together.  _I guess if I'm helping Tweek too then it's all okay if I'm a little selfish sometimes._

"I'm glad you got some sleep," Craig said at last, swinging his legs out of bed. He almost fell over when he first tried to stand up, but after a moment, he managed to shake his legs awake. Tweek kept watching him, which confused him slightly. Turning to look at the boy, Craig gave him another once over. His eyes were still full of worry, but there was something else there, something that was more prominent. Uncertainty, Craig realized suddenly. "Tweek?" he prompted, making the boy jump and almost slosh coffee over himself.

When Craig gave him a flat look, Tweek twitched hard. "Are you..." Swallowing, the boy put down his mug of coffee and fiddled with his fingers. Finally looking back up at him, Tweek softly asked, "Are you okay?"

Letting out a breath, Craig glanced at the ground while he thought the question over. In the long run, he probably wouldn't be okay, but that was old news. Right now, he was still a mess inside, but he'd sorted it out enough to make everything seem a lot less shitty. That was mostly because of Tweek, and Craig didn't want to let the boy's work go to waste by simply regressing back into that self-hating mindset that tended to show up after he let himself get too introspective. So he picked his chin up and gave Tweek a steady, calm look. "Yeah, I'll be fine," he told the boy, as confident as he could push himself to be.

Mouth tightening, Tweek nodded once, and the uncertainty and worry left his eyes. "Okay."

That was it, but that was really all that was needed.

))))-((((

"CRAIG~! TEACUP! What are you two doing here?!"

As Craig pulled Tweek along behind him into the bus, he looked over at Clyde, who was waving his arms wildly and bouncing up and down in his seat. He wasn't particularly surprised to see Clyde so excited, after all, Craig didn't usually ride the bus. Generally, he chose to walk, mostly so he could walk with Ruby (or rather, behind her because she didn't like to be seen with him). Every now and then, it would get late enough the Craig would find the bus ride justified. Today was one of those days, especially considering he was too bruised to walk all the way to school.

Feeling Tweek twitch behind him, Craig flipped off the overexcited brunette before walking to the back of the bus where the boy was sitting. Choosing to take the empty seats behind Clyde, Craig let Tweek sit down first before taking the aisle seat and answering his friend with a, "Too lazy to walk." Watching Tweek gingerly sit on the edge of his seat, no doubt terrified of all the germs surrounding him, Craig took a moment to pat the boy's head before turning back to Clyde, who was grinning like an idiot.

"I should have known you'd be at Tweek's house, after all, you two did go home earlier than everyone else." Eyes going to Tweek, Clyde furrowed his brows and said, "Speaking of which, are you okay Teacup?" When Tweek let out a shriek and looked up at Clyde, the boy shrugged and said, "You know, because you were upset yesterday. Everything is alright, right?"

"Y-yeah," Tweek said, biting his lip looking down at his thermos, which he had clutched between his hands as usual. Craig's brows furrowed in Clyde's direction, not exactly happy about the boy bringing up the mess that he'd managed to get himself into, but the brunette was too busy leaning over the seat and staring at Tweek with concerned eyes. When Tweek looked up and saw Clyde's expression, he twitched hard and insisted, "Jesus! D-don't look at me like that! Everything is okay!"

Brightening instantly, Clyde poked Tweek's forehead with a laugh and exclaimed, "That's great!" Bouncing in his seat slightly, Clyde bubbled, "I can't wait to see what's going to happen next in the game. I mean can you believe it? We avoided war by like  _this much."_  Demonstrating with his fingers, the boy shook his head. "I still can't believe that Kenny managed to convince them to do that. He's got balls, standing up to both of them at once like that."

"Careful not to speak of the devil, he has a tenancy of appearing." Sliding into the empty seat next to Clyde, Kenny gave both Tweek and Craig a wide grin, which only grew wider when Craig flipped him off. "I heard you all talking about yesterday, I must admit, I am a genius." When Tweek let out a squawk, Kenny pulled a pout, which made Clyde laugh. "Aww come on Tweekers, don't be like that! You  _loved_  yesterday, didn't you? Besides-" Kenny shot a mischievous look sideways to where his usual group of friends was sitting and said more loudly, "You really kicked Stan's ass, Tweeky. He didn't stand a chance!"

Just as he'd no doubt intended it to, the remark made Stan throw up his hands and let out a scoff. Kyle on the other hand, was quick to lean over Stan and yell, "Shut up asshole!" Kenny only cackled at that, while Tweek shivered and twitched, clearly terrified of being the center of attention. Nudging up against him, Craig looked down at the blond and waited until he stopped twitching so hard and met his eyes.  _It's okay, they always do this,_  Craig thought, even though he already knew that Tweek couldn't read his mind.

"Come on Kyle, stop being such a salty Jew," Cartman chided, leaning back and crossing his arms. "You should have know that my Human would whoop your Elf's ass. It was kind of expected." When Kyle let out a cry of anger, the fat boy held up his hands and leaned back, saying, "Whoa Kyle, calm down, I'm just speaking the truth here. Your side kinda sucks ass."

Before Kyle could retaliate, Jack, who was sitting in the seat in front of Clyde, called out, "That fight was seriously badass! I don't care who won, Tweek's a motherfucking monster!" Looking over in the boy's direction, Craig had to agree with him. Tweek was fearsome when he wanted to be. Feeling pride bubble in his chest, Craig glanced down at Tweek once more, who looked amazed that someone had recognized his actions at all.

"Honestly, I thought the whole festival was enjoyable," William agreed, turning around as well so he could join in the conversation. Looking over at Cartman and Kyle, he added, "It was a good idea to hold the thing, I think that we needed a moment of peace."

Holding a hand to his heart, Kenny let out an indignant gasp. "Are you forgetting who came up with the idea in the first place?" Looking over at Butters, who was sitting behind Cartman, Kenny gave a grand flourish of his hand and announced, "It was Buttercream's idea in the first place. Those two couldn't come up with anything half as brilliant to save their lives." When both Cartman and Kyle let out similar sounds of protest, and the rest of the boys on the bus broke out into laughter, Kenny simply shrugged and said, "What, it's true."

"I actually preferred the battle we fought before the festival," Jack called, to which several Elves nodded and made sounds of agreement. "We totally won  _that_  one!"

"You guys had an unfair advantage!" Chris Donnelly yelled back, though he still sounded rather good-natured about the whole thing.

"Not true," Daniel pointed out, looking up from the book he'd been reading. "We had to break Craig out of the dungeons first. That means we'd already taken damage before we'd even got to you guys. Ergo, you lost even though you had the advantage." Russell let out a whoop at that, and Kyle yelled something about how the Human's had been cheating, but Craig's attention was on Tweek, whose eyes had gone wide with fear.

"JESUS MAN! I'M –RRr- NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!" he screeched, yanking on his hair with a hand. "That was  _way_  too much pressure! B-besides, we're gonna get in so much trouble once we get to school. You heard Mr. Mackey! We're all gonna get detention!"  _Yeah, but I think the two of us had to deal with the worst of it…_  Not about to say that out loud, Craig edged over and grabbed for Tweek's free hand, holding it to calm the boy down.

"Oh man, you're right," Russell agreed, rueful. "We are so screwed. They called my parents last night and man, they were  _pissed._  But I think it was worth it, considering how epic it all was!"

"I suppose when you look at the options we had, it was the best one," William conceded, shrugging. "It was either that or try to fight the Elves without one of our leaders. Still, my parents got the call too, we're in deep shit."

Glancing over at Cartman, who was smugly grinning at Kyle, who looked irritated beyond belief, Craig felt a stir of resentment at the realization that the people who had orchestrated his escape weren't going to feel a bit of the consequences. Aloud however, Craig simply commented, "We'll live. It's just Mr. Mackey after all."

"Man, I  _wish_  I could have seen that," Chris said, looking over at Craig with a half-grin. "Those hall monitors are dicks, they deserve every bit of what came to them. So does Mr. Mackey for that matter." Shrugging, he raised an eyebrow and said, "You had better hope that we don't take all your territory while you're locked up in detention."

"Fuck off, that's so unfair!" Jack yelled, a chorus of agreement following him. "You can't do that! We're stuck in the dungeons, it's not like we can do anything about it."

"No, it's totally fair," Stan cut in, crossing his arms and looking over at Jack. "You guys should have thought of that before throwing yourselves against t school like that. Besides, we have the stick so we have control over the universe."

While the other boys continued to argue, Clyde leaned over his seat again and asked, in a quieter voice, "Do you think they're really going to take all our territory. They already have a lot."

Pulling a face, Kenny admitted, in a similarly soft tone, "They might, it's what I would do if I were Kyle." Sighing, Kenny looked at Tweek and Craig and told them, "It wasn't exactly our best idea, but I'm sure it'll all work out in the end. The Elves can't win forever."

"Oh god, w-what if the humans lose while we're in detention!" Tweek squeaked, shivering beside Craig, squeezing his hand tightly as he did so. "What if the Elves capture everyone and then they banish us from the game and w-we have to flee South Park because they're after our heads! Ghn- I don't think I could handle that!"

"They're not going to banish us," Craig told Tweek, tightening his own hold on the boy's small fingers. He could picture Cartman doing something like that, but he was fairly sure that Kyle wouldn't go that out of his way to be spiteful. Though he didn't doubt that Kenny was right in saying that the Elves would take a lot of territory while they had the chance.

"Besides Teacup," Clyde added on cheerfully, clearly unworried about being banished. "Even if they did make us quit the game, we could just make a new faction and take them over or something. And ours could be way more badass than theirs so they'd all get jealous." Laughing at Tweek's squawk of fear, the boy insisted, "I'm kidding!"

"Yeah, of course he is, because there's no way he could come up with something that cool on his own," Kenny agreed, provoking a cry of protest from Clyde. "Now, if someone asked  _me_  to make another faction of kids, I could probably do a kickass job of it."

"Fuck off McCormick," Craig muttered, noticing Clyde's hurt expression. "Clyde would do better than you any day. The best you could do was be a traitor." Instantly, Clyde's expression brightened and he let out a laugh as Kenny crossed his arms and huffed in a way that was reminiscent of his princess act.

"If I were a traitor, I'd be the best traitor ever," Kenny said, lifting his chin. The act was ruined by the grin that slipped back onto his face. Popping one eye open and looking at Tweek, the sandy-blond asked, "What do you think Tweekers? Think I'd be good at betrayal?"

"JESUS DON'T BETRAY ANYONE! THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Huddling against Craig, Tweek shook his head and yanked at his hair. "Y-you're already cool enough as a character Kenny, d-don't do anything stupid!"

"What about you Fucker," Kenny cooed, batting his eyelashes at Craig, who scowled at him. "Think I'd make the most sparkly and fabulous traitor in the whole wide world? Say you think so just for me!"

Irritated at Kenny for stressing his blond out, Craig lifted his middle finger at Kenny. "Up yours, asshole." Patting Tweek's floof of hair, Craig was gratified when he calmed down and relaxed against him.

"Careful Craig, wouldn't want to go making promises you don't want to keep," Kenny said, wiggling his eyebrows. From beside him, Tweek let out a screech and covered his ears, clearly horrified at Kenny. Craig just rolled his eyebrows and ignored the boy in an attempt to, if not make him go away, then at least make him shut up.

As the conversation moved on and Craig tuned it out, he noticed that Tweek was still shivering against him. Glancing past Tweek at the town they were driving through, Craig nudged the blond and softly said, "We're going to be fine, okay?" When Tweek let out a squeak and looked up at him, Craig calmly said, "Detention isn't all that bad."

Twitching, Tweek bit his lip and smiled slightly. "Yeah, I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehe kenny's mind is so filthy. I love it.
> 
> Also, foreshadowing so that's wonderful.
> 
> Can you guys believe we're starting a new year tomorrow?!? I'm blown away, really I am. My personal new year's resolution is to finish this story by the end of the year, even if it takes all 365 days to do it. But I want to know if any of you have any hopes/dreams/resolutions for this year!!


	52. Make Nice Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH!!!!! The Beautiful Selienne, who has finally made an account (congratulations darling ;) ) was kind enough to grace us with a fanfiction inspired by this!! It's really good and it's not particularly long, so I hope you'll take the time to check it out! It's called They Have Each Other and it's super adorable. It's like a piece of fan art, just more wordy XD 
> 
> Anyways, I'm rambling on. Sorry this is so late!!
> 
> Enjoy.

"Now boys, I'm sure you all know why you're here."

Tweek had always thought, privately, that Principal Victoria looked like an owl. That didn't stop the fact that he was sitting in her office right now absolutely terrifying, but he still thought that she looked rather like a nocturnal bird. What with her perpetually pinched mouth and wide eyes and fluffy hair, he'd never been able to look at her without picturing her rotating her head all the way around so she could watch  _everyone._

Then again, maybe she was an alien because she was another one of those people who acted concernedly inhuman. Perhaps she'd been sent down to watch them so that no one would escape before the Aliens could eat their brains. Maybe every time someone ended up in the office their brain got replaced and that meant that Tweek was next along with all of the other boys there with him!  _OH JESUS, I CAN'T HAVE MY BRAIN HARVESTED!_

"GHA!" Tweek shrieked, yanking on his hair and twitching hard. Almost instantly, he felt Craig's fingers in his hair, reminding him of the taller boy's presence.  _Oh yeah, Craig's been here lots and there's no way that an alien stole his brain, so I guess it's okay, as long as he's here anyway…_  Slowly releasing his hair, Tweek shivered and stared up at Principal Victoria. Once he'd calmed down, Craig's hand slipped from his golden mane.

Looking at them, the woman blinked her owlish eyes at them and said, "Your parents should have all received phone calls last night about this, it's actually a very serious matter." Shivering under the condescending tone she was using, Tweek struggled to keep his hands in his lap holding his thermos instead of grabbing for Craig's sleeve like he wanted to. He'd never been in the office for something like this and it was seriously stressing him out.

From beside him, Jesse, who was shifting in his seat, looked up and piped up, "My parents got a call!" as if he thought that Principal Victoria was actually asking the question. From around them, seven other boys gave various forms of agreement. Tweek let out a squawk of fear instead and Craig went to flip the Principal off before stopping and pulling back his hand slowly as if thinking twice.

"Yes, I'm sure they did," the woman agreed, nodding. "So I'm sure you know that we're here to talk about your inappropriate behavior after school yesterday." No one said a word, but several of the boys sat up straighter and from beside Tweek, Craig lifted his chin and fixed the Principal with his most impassible deadpan. The defiance in the room was palpable and it made Tweek cower backward in his seat and shiver violently.

When no one said anything, Principal Victoria let out a tiny sigh and asked in that voice she always used when talking to children, "Mr. Mackey, would you like to tell us about what happened?"

From the corner where he was pouting, arms crossed, head down, bottom lip stuck out, Mr. Mackey mumbled, "I don't want to talk about it, m'kay?" Tweek looked over at the man, but he wouldn't make eye-contact with any of them.

Turning back to the boys, Principal Victoria said, "Well, perhaps one of you would like to tell me what happened then?" There was the distinct air about her that said this would go on all day if it had to. Tweek didn't want to be stuck in this scary office with an owl or possibly an alien staring at him all day. He'd really lose his mind then.

From behind Craig, Ryan crossed his arms loosely and said, "Mr. Mackey locked our Thief in the dungeons so we had to break him out." The fifth-grader made it sound so reasonable, Tweek found himself nodding along with several other boys.

"Okay, those are not the dungeons, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey blurted out, sounding upset. "Craig was in detention because he got into a fight and then he was disrespectful to me on top of all that." As he spoke, his voice kept getting louder, as if this was something he was honestly angry about. "He's not a Thief and I'm tired of your stupid imagination game."

"Now Mr. Mackey, we need to use our indoor voices," the Principal chided, giving him a reproving look. "Let's use our words nicely, there's no need to go throwing any insults around." Huffing, Mr. Mackey went back to staring at the floor, a frown on his face. "Now," the woman said to the boys after the Counselor was calm. "What do you children think of what Mr. Mackey just said?"

From where he sat beside Ryan, Jack flatly said, "It's not a stupid imagination game. We're warriors of Zaron and Craig is a Thief."

"Yup, he's a level four Thief named Feldspar," Russell chimed in, nodding vigorously. Tweek bit his lip but nodded as well. Though he was terrified of the Principal, he would rather stand with his warriors than with her.  _Jesus, are they still my warriors? We're done with that battle, I guess they're not anymore. But they keep looking to us as leaders so what's that supposed to mean?! Jesus, it's so much pressure!_

"What Craig is, is a bad influence," Mr. Mackey butted in again, glaring at Craig, who just stared at the man like he didn't have a care in the world. Tweek didn't know how he could do that when he was still bruised all over and was in the principal's office, but then again, he still didn't understand the Noirette entirely. "He convinced these boys to break into the school, m'kay? And I won't tolerate it."

"Actually, it wasn't Craig who convinced us to do anything," Daniel commented, tapping his foot against the leg of Brandon's chair, which was in front of him. He was staring at the wall ahead of him as if Mr. Mackey wasn't worth his full attention. "If it's a question of who convinced us to do it, it was Lady McCormick and the Grand Wizard who originally set the whole thing up and planned it out. Craig didn't even know what was going on."

"That's not true, m'kay!" Mr. Mackey insisted heatedly, leaning forward in his chair so he could scowl at them.  _Oh god, why won't he believe us! It wasn't Craig at all, he shouldn't be in trouble at all! This is so unfair, don't they care about that?!_ Shivering, Tweek let out a whimper as the Counselor continued, "Craig was all dressed up when he was in detention, and- and he was giving them instructions! So clearly, he was in charge of the whole thing!"

Unable to help himself, Tweek burst out, "Ngh- Craig didn't do anything! H-he got ready because he was told to! And he wasn't giving us instructions at all! Why would he have done that, he w-wasn't even out there with us!" He kept waiting for Principal Victoria to nod or agree or do something, but she kept not saying anything and he couldn't handle it. Twitching hard, Tweek dropped his thermos as he screeched, "WHY WON'T YOU JUST LISTEN T-TO US!?"

"Now boys," the Principal cut in, silencing both Tweek and Mr. Mackey. "Who came up with the idea and who didn't isn't really the issue here, now is it?"  _Of course it's the issue!_  But Tweek could do nothing but twitch uncontrollably in his seat as the boys around him grumbled in annoyance. "What's important is that you all decided that the best way to deal with your frustrations was through violence, isn't that right?"

_WHO SAID THAT'S WHAT WE WERE DOING?!_  Letting out a cry of distress, Tweek grabbed fistfuls of his hair and pulled hard, trying to rid his mind of the Principal's stupidly pointed voice.  _Make it stop!_ A warm weight knocked against his chest, pressing some of the air out of them. Looking down, Tweek found Craig crouching before him, the principal and, for that matter, everyone else, entirely forgotten in favor of picking the blonde's thermos up and handing it to him.

Shivering, Tweek stared down at Craig, whose eyes were entirely calm. Of course he was calm, he didn't get perturbed or ruffled by anything, not even principals or aliens or sixth-graders. This to him was nothing, he'd probably had worse.  _And he's here right now, so I guess it doesn't matter if the adults listen to us or not because Craig would do something if it mattered that much._  Biting his lip, Tweek slowly pulled his hands out of his hair and grabbed his thermos. As though he was satisfied with this, Craig straightened and turned to face the Principal.

"Maybe we wouldn't have so many frustrations if you guys weren't such shitty people," Craig told Principal Victoria blandly, standing in front of Tweek and stuffing his hands in his pockets like he didn't give a fuck. Though Tweek kind of wanted to scream because  _Jesus why did he say something like that?!_  He found himself more comforted by the fact that Craig was defending him.

"Craig Tucker you watch your mouth!" Mr. Mackey snapped, glaring at the Noirette. "You are in trouble, m'kay? And I will not tolerate that kind of language here!" Needing to distract himself from the budding fight, Tweek fumbled with his thermos and manage to gulp down some of it without dropping the thing again. "Now sit down, m'kay, before things get even worse for you."

Though the tall boy tilted his chin up as if in defiance, he still shifted back towards his seat and did as he'd been bid. Clearly getting gradually more and more frazzled by the proceedings, Principal Victoria gave a little shiver like she was ruffling and settling her feathers before saying, "Now boys, I understand that sometimes things don't go your way but you can't go solving your problems with physical violence like this." Turning her attention on Tweek once more, the woman said, "You broke into the school after hours and did quite a bit of damage, not just to Mr. Mackey's communication systems but also to other students. What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"They started it," Brandon said at once, cheeky as ever. Jack and Ryan both laughed, which only seemed to give the boy more courage to continue, "And they're also ginger, so I don't know what you were expecting us to do." Even though most of him was terrified, Tweek couldn't help but let out a little squeaky giggle at that, impressed with the little third-grader's courage.

Principal Victoria opened her mouth to respond, but before she could Mr. Mackey cut her off. "That is no excuse! You clearly started the fight by breaking into the school in the first place!" Clenching the arms of his chair, Mr. Mackey continued, "The hall Monitors were just doing their jobs, m'kay? And you should have been doing your job by not breaking and entering! They had every right to fight back."

"To be fair, we did hit first," William admitted, which provoked a shriek from Tweek because he wasn't about to forget that it had been him who'd taken out the first hall monitor and he doubted that Mr. Mackey was going to forget either. "But your Hall Monitors are way more forceful than they should be."

"Yeah!" Terry agreed from where he sat beside Craig. "Just because they're ginger and hate the world doesn't mean they get to take it out on us." When the other boy's nodded in agreement, Terry continued, "So maybe Principal Victoria, you should be looking into Mr. Mackey's unorthodox methods of monitoring the school after detention."

"Several of the Hall Monitors had severe burns," the Principal told Terry, giving him a pointed look.

"Hey, it's not my fault that I'm a Flame Mage," Terry said, crossing his arms defensively.

"Children, this is not how you should be acting," Principal Victoria said sternly, furrowing her brows. "I do not like getting calls from Mr. Mackey saying that I have to explain to seventeen families why their children are unconscious and injured. You can't solve your problems like this, even if you think that your friend has an unfair detention. We don't assign these things arbitrarily and when you do things like this, you hurt everyone."

"And that's why you're all getting detention for the rest of the week, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey was quick to say, butting into the Principal's speech. "Because this was inappropriate behavior and I'm not going to let it slide."  _OH JESUS, A WHOLE WEEK!?_ Tweek let out a screech that was echoed in various forms by the other boys, who all let out cries of protest, all except for Craig, who just rolled his eyes. "No!" Mr. Mackey blustered. "You are going to deal with the consequences of your actions, m'kay?"

Giving the Counselor a reproachful look, which caused Mr. Mackey to return to sulking, Principal Victory turned to the other boys and said, "Yes, you do all have detention, but that's not what I want you to take away from this, boys. I want you to learn that violence is never the answer and being violent only ever hurts you in the long run. Now-" The woman clasped her hands together and smiled at them pleasantly. "I want you to all apologize to Mr. Mackey for hurting his feelings by breaking Craig out of detention."

_Apologize?! Jesus, why do we have to apologize?_  As if sensing the question, Principal Victoria added, "If you don't, it will be two weeks detention." Twitching, Tweek looked around at the other boys, who weren't moving.  _Oh God, fuck! Why aren't they doing anything?! They're going to make it worse!_  Looking over at Mr. Mackey, who was still pouting, Tweek jerked hard to one side. It wasn't that big a deal, it was just saying sorry, that was all.

Suddenly, Tweek felt Craig's hand close over the fingers that the blond still had wrapped around the lid of his thermos. Twitchily, Tweek whipped his head around to look at the Noirette, who was already watching him steadily. Even though he couldn't read Craig's mind, Tweek unexpectedly felt a swell of determination within him.  _That's right, we're the leaders still, so we have to make the first move._

Looking away from Craig and back to Mr. Mackey, Tweek lifted his chin and said, as clearly as he could, "We're s-sorry, Mr. Mackey, for hurting your feelings." Like that had been the right move, Craig's hand tightened over his before the boy cleared his throat.

"Yep," Craig confirmed, popping the 'p'. "Sorry." Following their lead, just as Tweek had realized they would, all the other boys mumbled out their own forms of apologies, some more sincere than others. Shivering, the boy glanced up at Craig, who wasn't looking at him. Though Craig's attention was focused elsewhere, Tweek could see the ghost of pride in those deep blue eyes and it made a warmth bubble up in him that drove away the fear he'd been feeling earlier.

It was okay. Even if they did have detention for a week and even if the Elves took all their territory and even if they ended up as fugitives on the run from headhunters who wanted their blood, it would be  _okay._  Because Craig was there. Tweek had already memorized enough reasons why that meant something.

"That was wonderful children," Principal Victoria said in regards to the apologies, cutting though Tweek's thoughts with her words. "If you could have used your words in the first place, then maybe the rest of this could have been avoided. Now Mr. Mackey, what do you say to them?" When Mr. Mackey continued to sulk, the woman encouraged, "Come on, we were doing so well. They all apologized, what's the right thing to say in response."

Turning his head grudgingly and looking somewhere above their heads, Mr. Mackey muttered, "It's alright… M'kay."

"Good!" Turning back to the boys, the Principal primly said, "I expect all of you to report to detention today after school, otherwise, more severe measures will have to be taken. You're all dismissed to go back to class."

))))-((((

"This fucking blows, man!" Jack exclaimed, throwing his paper wad at the wall and catching it once more as it bounced back.

"At least we weren't suspended," Daniel pointed out, his nose buried once more in his book.

Jesse let out a loud groan. "But the Elves are going to take all of our territories and we're going to be stuck in here, unable to do  _anything."_  The paper wad Jack had been playing with hit the side of the third-grader's head.

Picking up the crumpled piece of paper, Ryan said, "If they take our territory then we'll take it back, they won't stand a chance."

"But until then we're stuck in here!" Russell exclaimed, catching the paper ball that Ryan tossed his direction. "Which is boring as hell."

"If we do what they say, we'll be out of detention by the end of the week," William pointed out, plucking the paper wad out of Russell's hands so he could open it and look at what was on it. "It's not as bad as it could be."

"Maybe we should just sneak out or something," Brandon suggested, leaning over William's shoulder so he could see what was on the paper as well. "I mean, if Mr. Mackey is going to spend any more time out in the hall talking to those Hall Monitors, I'm pretty sure detention will be over before he gets back anyway."

"Actually that doesn't sound like a half bad idea," Terry admitted, tipping backward in his chair so he could take the piece of paper and crumple it back up into a ball again. "What do you think Craig?"

Craig, who'd been staring at the front of the room while he rolled his pencil between his teeth, reached out a hand and caught the paper wad before it hit Tweek in the side of the head. "I think both of you are fucking stupid," Craig told Terry and Brandon, tossing the paper ball back at Jack, who caught it and went back to throwing it at the wall. "But that's just me."

Tweek wasn't exactly sure what he'd expected detention to be like, but this certainly wasn't half as terrifying as his mind had told him it would be. With his chair pressed up against Craig's and his freshly filled thermos, courtesy of the teacher's lounge, next to him, Tweek had to admit that it wasn't the worst thing in the world. Of course, Mr. Mackey wasn't in the room so it felt a whole lot more relaxed than it probably would later, but so far, Tweek was pretty sure he'd make it through the week.

The other boys went back to talking to each other, but Tweek kept silent, not wanting to get roped into anything. His attention was currently fixed on the piece of paper in front of him which he'd been doodling on. He wasn't very good at art, everything he did looked shaky and horrible, but he was still trying his best to draw a face. Pencil scratching away, Tweek made a sound of distress as he jerked, leaving the face looking like it was bored instead of happy.

"Alright!" Turning around sharply, Tweek shivered as Mr. Mackey walked in, his steps purposeful. "Now I want no more talking for the rest of the hour, m'kay? I had to talk to the Hall Monitors, but I expect silence! This is detention, which means you are here because you've done something wrong. That means no talking, got it?" When no one said anything, Mr. Mackey crossed his arms and said, "M'kay, glad we understand each other."

Looking back down at his paper, Tweek found Craig had stolen it from him and was doodling on it. Letting out a squeak, Tweek tightened his grip on his pencil as Craig passed back the paper. There was the rough outline of another head next to the one Tweek had been drawing, but what drew the boy's eyes was the words written on the top of the paper.

**_Do you think Mr. Mackey's head will explode if he gets angry enough?_ **

Slapping a hand over his mouth to hold back the laugh that almost escaped from him at the idea, Tweek twitched and quickly scribbled back  **That would be really messy if it did! Think about all the flies and rats and stuff, they carry diseases man!** Before looking back at the face he'd been starting to draw. Shivering, Tweek tried to draw eyes and ended up with a pair of bored orbs that sort of matched the hat. Growling in frustration, the blond quickly reached for his thermos and drank several large sips of coffee to calm himself down.

By the time he'd looked back at the table, Craig was already sliding the piece of paper back towards him.  ** _I don't think the school has rats, dude. Just kids who act like them._** Giggling, Tweek glanced down at Craig's doodle. It had sprouted some eyes too, but the ones he'd drawn were almost comically wide and the mouth below them was a squiggly line.

Switching his focus to his own drawing, Tweek chanced a look up at Craig to find the boy disinterestedly staring at the wall, clearly bored. Eyes widening, Tweek let out a yelp and quickly returned to scrawling. Because if you looked at it right, his smiley face almost looked like Craig. After he'd finished drawing a terrible rendition of Craig's hat, Tweek answered Craig's message.

**Not everyone in this school is that bad!**

Sliding the paper over to Craig, a tad nervous, Tweek waited with bated breath as Craig looked down and furrowed his brows at the drawing of him that Tweek had done. Sucking in his cheeks, the boy stooped to add his own additions to the drawing. Impatient, Tweek shifted back and forth in his seat before peeking up at Mr. Mackey. The man was watching him with a glare.  _OH JESUS!_ Squawking, Tweek tangled one of his hands in Craig's coat hem and tugged at it insistently, shaking.  _HE'S WATCHING US WE'RE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE._

Looking over at Tweek, Craig briefly flicked his eyes up to Mr. Mackey before turning back to the blond and ruffling his hair lightly and pushing the paper back to him. Feeling better, Tweek looked back down at the paper and found a grin pulling at his mouth, despite himself. Though it was terrible, Craig had added a spiky halo of hair to his doodle, making the thing look like a ridiculous image of Tweek.

Remembering that they'd been having a conversation Tweek looked up at Craig's words and felt his chest get tight at the words he found.  ** _You're right. You and Clyde and Token are the only reasons I still bother with this shitty place._**

**Yeah, Token and Clyde are great, but you're the one who makes me look forward to coming to school every day,** Tweek wrote in response before shoving the paper back to Craig.

To Tweek, the smile on Craig's face when he read the blonde's words made every moment of detention worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. That happened XD
> 
> Also, headcanon that Mr. Mackey acts just like a child when he gets his feelings hurt. Actually, that's already kind of canon so whatever. I just think it's funny.
> 
> There are going to be some time-skips now, seeing as I don't want the SoT plot arc to go on forever. Don't worry, you won't miss anything important, just the daily grind that you'll eventually get tired of me writing about XD I only have so many ideas to make it interesting.
> 
> That being said, I'm sure you'll love the bits that come next. Telesthesia and I have been plotting up some truly delightful things indeed...


	53. Credible Threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So few reviews last chapter... *is sad* 
> 
> XD I'm kidding, if this were any other story of mine, seven reviews would be amazing. I love all of you regardless. Besides, this chapter is too much fun for me to pout for long. In case everyone is confused, this chapter takes place about a month after the last one, sometime in December.
> 
> Enjoy.

The snow fell around the pair like a muffling blanket. They'd already gotten a foot the day before, but it had been the heavy wet kind. This new layer was the glittering kind, with big, puffy flakes that stuck to things rather than melt off.

Nestling his face further into the face guard he'd added to his costume when the snows of winter had first started showing up, Craig let out a slow breath. The snow kept getting in his eyes, making his surroundings difficult to discern. It didn't phase him in the slightest, he just kept trudging along, following the shorter boy ahead of him.

Tweek's hair was starting to look more like ice crystals than his usual blond halo. Craig supposed that was appropriate, seeing as it made him look dangerous instead of fluffy. They both looked more dangerous than they had in the month previous. Around Tweek's shoulders, the Manbearpig pelt he'd started wearing caught more snow, almost like the weather was attempting to help the boy blend into his surroundings. He'd only adopted the extra layer the week before after they'd defeated one of the monsters with the help of Al Gore. In Craig's opinion, the addition fit.

Letting out an involuntary growl, Tweek tossed his head around before leading them both up towards the tavern, which was really just Jimmy's house. Silent as ever, Craig tilted his head up and stared at the sign that had been hung over the boy's door.  _The Giggling Donkey_  it read, it's badly painted red letters looking worn after seeing so many storms. Refocusing on Tweek, Craig found the boy looking at him already, his glittering green eyes almost dangerous behind his war paint.

Sensing the unasked question, Craig gave a barely perceptible shrug then nod. Twitching, Tweek faced the door once more and pushed his way inside, allowing Craig to ghost in behind him like a shadow. The warm blast of air made Tweek shiver and growl again. Craig, meanwhile, didn't bother to react to the change as the snow covering his cloak started to melt.

The room was much darker than outside, the curtains having been drawn to give the room a musty atmosphere. It was warm, but the atmosphere was tense, probably because of who they were. Inside of the tavern, the conversations happening nearest the door stopped as the rough looking crowds of mercenaries, the elven and the human alike, took a moment to eye Tweek and Craig. Tweek didn't bother looking at any of them, he just straightened his wild fur cloak and headed towards the bar. Much more cautious of potential hit men, Craig carefully scanned the room, taking note of anything that looked even suspicious.

"Ngh- D-do you think he's here?" Tweek asked Craig softly as they stopped at the bar, his hand clenched around the hilt of his pan-turned-club. Sensing the boy's underlying unease, Craig made a point of reaching out and straightening Tweek's bow, brushing his fingers through the boy's icy blond hair as he did so. Giving the room another once over, Craig shook his head minutely.

"Not in this room," Craig told the blond, who turned back towards the bar and signaled the bartender, who gave them both a  _wait a moment_  gesture before going back to serving the boy already sitting there. "But you know Bradley, he's usually around here." Of course, he could be out on a job, but if he wasn't then this was the best place to find him.

Tweek let out a growl of irritation before turning back to the bartender, who was standing before them. "What can I do for you two… gentlemen," the boy said slowly, cleaning a glass as he spoke. Craig didn't blame him for his shifty attitude, it was only natural not to trust people around these parts. Especially because the bar already had a rather bad reputation for attracting undesirables.

Rapping his knuckles on the bar, Tweek murmured to the boy, "A pint of Hogsbreath Mead for my companion." Even though he didn't seem openly hostile, Craig could tell the blond was ready to strike at any moment if need be. They were both on edge, though Tweek was doing a good job of concealing it. Craig, on the other hand, kept scanning the bar. Confidence might have been important, but it was easier to be confident if you were still alive.

"Anything for you?" the bartender asked Tweek, his hands already busying themselves with filling up one of the clear plastic cups with Coca-Cola. The blond shook his head and the bartender shrugged before shoving the drink over to Craig, who caught it and nodded before turning back to the room at large. There was the jingle of coins as Tweek dropped fifty cents onto the bar as payment. As if this had been a signal of sorts, everyone else went back to their conversations, ignoring Tweek and Craig at last.

Unhooking the small thermos that Kenny had given him from his belt, Tweek took a sip of the expresso inside before looking up at Craig, who raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Clicking his teeth together jerkily, Tweek leaned back towards the bartender and said, "Not particularly b-busy today, are you."

Glancing up at the blond warily, the bartender shrugged and trained his eyes on the counter. "Too much upheaval for wasting time. This territory changed hands for the third time this week just yesterday." There was a note of accusation in his voice, but Craig shrugged it off, as did Tweek. The boy had a point after all, with how the war had been going, the Humans had been forced to fight tooth and nail for every bit of land they could get their hands on. It was only thanks to Clyde and Butters that they'd managed to take back the territory around the Giggling Donkey back from the Elves at all.

Biting his lip before letting it slip back through his teeth, Tweek shivered and said, "What a shame, I was hoping to find –ghn- s-someone today." The Elf who was sitting at the other end of the bar looked up at them at that, his eyes suspicious. Returning the look with a cool warning in the form of a stare, Craig waited until the other boy had looked away before resuming his earlier task of watching the rest of the tavern and sipping at his drink.

"If you don't see 'em here, stop looking," the bartender advised, his tone gruff. "I don't need any trouble today." It was generally good advice, the mercenaries in the game really didn't like to be messed with, mostly because they'd broken in-game rules and didn't want to deal with the consequences. They were nasty fighters and they tended to gang up on anyone who was getting too nosy. That being said, Craig wasn't worried. His and Tweek's reputations preceded them. No one was going to be picking any fights if they didn't need too.

"Perhaps you c-could tell us where the Bard is, then," Tweek suggested, one hand skating over the numerous weapons around his waist. "I'm sure he could help us instead." The bartender's eyes followed Tweek's movements nervously and his hand twitched towards the sword Craig knew he kept behind the counter, but he didn't draw.

"You know the Bard isn't too friendly with your kind anymore," the boy told Tweek, his voice even yet mildly threatening. "After last week, he'll only talk to Elves. Besides, you should do your business without involving him." Tweek bristled and let out a twitchy growl at that, but Craig surreptitiously reached out a hand and touched the boy's arm, calming him down somewhat.

"We're old friends of the Bard," Craig said, his voice low and quiet. "From before the war even, surely he'd make an exception." The bartender glared at the Noirette; Craig didn't bother to get ruffled. He just stared right back, his blue eyes unswerving. When the man didn't speak, Tweek leaned in and twitched his lips upward in a leering smile.

"Or maybe we could skip all th-that and you could just tell us what we want to know," Tweek suggested, twitching as he spoke. There was something intimidating about it, the way the fur on his coat shivered and rattled slightly and how vivid his eyes looked against the dark war paint on his face, Craig didn't blame the bartender for leaning back slightly, eyes nervous.

"Who're you looking for," the boy finally bit out, looking upset about letting them get to him. Snarl turning to a more pleasant smile, Tweek straightened up.

"Bradley," Tweek said, entirely more amicable now. It was amazing how much one month had changed the boy. He'd entirely settled into his barbarian role and when he knew what he was doing, he acted every bit the intimidating character that he supposedly was. Craig was perfectly content to let the boy act like this, satisfied with being the shadow that followed Tweek rather than the shadow that Tweek hid in.

Even though it was just an act, Craig maintained that Tweek was a  _very_  good actor.

Huffing under his breath, the bartender jerked his thumb in the direction of the back room. "Just don't make it messy. I'm sick of having to clean this place up." Tweek's squeaky laugh somehow managed to sound ominous. "I'm serious, do you know how many teeth I've had to pick out of the carpet?" the boy demanded, disgruntled.

"Don't worry, w-we'll let him keep most of his teeth," Tweek reassured the man, shivering as he straightened and looked up at Craig. Raising an eyebrow at the boy, Craig fell into step as Tweek led the way to the back of Jimmy's house, taking only a second to shoot the bartender a cool glance before focusing his attention on what was going on.

Without paying attention to the eyes that were watching them, Tweek walked towards the doors set into the side of the tavern, one of which would take them downstairs and the other which led to the bathroom. As Tweek leaned against the wall beside the door, closest to the rest of the Tavern, Craig waited patiently for the sound of the toilet flushing before putting a hand on the smallest of his knives and standing a little straighter.

The boy who walked out was a rather short fifth-grader with sandy brown hair and the rough outward appearance of many of the other mercenaries around the place. Of course, the moment he saw Craig and Tweek, his eyes went wide and he started to back up. "Oh man, what do you guys want this time?" the boy whined, looking between the two of them nervously. "I didn't do anything, okay? I've been keeping my nose clean, I swear."

Shutting the bathroom door before the boy could trip through it, Craig raised an eyebrow. "Come on, I thought we were friends," he said, his flat tone doing nothing to soothe Bradley's nerves.

"No way man, us? Friends? No one makes friends with people like you two," the boy said, shaking his head fervently. "You two are crazy, I'm not doing this again." Tweek shot the pair of them a look and twitched right. Nodding, Craig drew the butter knife that he still kept around and held it close to the fifth-grader's eyes.

"Fine then, acquaintances," Craig amended, watching as Bradley went cross-eyed trying to keep the knife in view. Lowering the blade slightly, Craig tilted his head slightly and stared down at the scared boy. "Don't look so scared, we just want some information."

Wetting his lips with a darting tongue, the mercenary shook his head. "No, I'm done helping you two. You're bad news, I've heard how you two operate. I'm not making the same mistake twice." Cracking the bones in his neck, Craig took a quick step forward and pressed Bradley against the bathroom door, knife to his throat. Face crumpling in fear, the boy blubbered, "Aw come on, don't do this to me. Things are already bad enough around here without me helping you two."

"Come on, it's just a small favor," Craig informed the boy, making sure not to put too much pressure on the knife. He didn't want to accidentally kill the kid in-game, that would make the whole thing way harder than it needed to be. "We just need some information and we thought you might have heard something."

"Why can't you ask the carrier ravens?" Bradley whined, trying to lean away from the butter knife even though there was nowhere to go. "Why me? I don't want to help you Humans, or the Elves for that matter. You're all bad news! At least the people around here will stab you in the back, you and your factions deal in poison." Rolling his eyes, Craig pressed his knife against the boy's throat a bit harder, causing the boy to squeal, "Dude don't! The healers here are crap, I'll be out of the game for days if you hurt me."

"Th-then maybe you should –ngh- answer the question," Tweek suggested, twitching as he watched the rest of the Tavern. Turning back to Bradley, who was still whining, Craig shrugged, as if to say  _hey, I wasn't the one who said it._

Letting out a groan, Bradley said, "Okay okay, I'll help you, just get that thing away from me." Pulling back the butter knife just enough to give him room to breathe, Craig shifted his weight and raised an eyebrow. Clearing his throat, Bradley looked pointedly at the blade until Craig had pulled it away and had stored it under his cloak once more before glancing to the side and muttering, "What do you want to know?"

Crossing his arms, Craig tipped his head back and bluntly asked, "Who's been carrying out the sneak attacks on the Humans?" This was what Token had sent Tweek and him here to find out. For weeks now Humans had been getting picked off one by one by a force that seemed to be unconnected to the Elves. Even though it didn't seem like that big of a threat, whoever it was had lost them several key battles because of the people they'd taken out of commission. Sure they'd been able to heal the boys, but not anywhere near fast enough.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Bradley scuffed his foot over the ground. "I don't know! I'm not going to mess with that stuff man. Whoever it is, they're bad news." Tweek whipped his head around and let out a growl at that, startling the boy.

"Someone shot Clyde in the head with a p-pink and gold arrow!" Tweek snarled at Bradley, advancing on the mercenary. "He's  _still_  out of commission, and we have good healers! S-so start talking or we'll  _make_  you –ghn- talk." When the boy looked up at Craig in fear, as if asking him to do something, the Noirette just raised his eyebrows and took a slight step back, as if to say  _my hands are tied here._

"I mean it!" Bradley insisted, cowering under Tweek's glare, even though the blond was a good five inches shorter than him. "No one knows who they are!"

"So they're not mercenaries as well," Craig clarified, his usual deadpan set on his face. When the boy shook his head fervently, Craig's brows furrowed slightly. "Then who are they?"

"I don't know man." Shivering, Bradley rubbed the back of his neck. "I just know that the Bard has paid his dues, they won't touch him." When Tweek let out an involuntary sound at that, he leaped backward, smacking his head against the door. "The Elves talk to them man, I don't even know who they are!"

Looking to Craig, Tweek jerked left and said, "Rrr- H-he's got a point, Token said they aren't touching the Elves at all, just the humans." Letting out a breath, Craig looked to the side as he slid his teeth together in thought.  _Damnit, but we can't go back empty-handed. Token needs something to show Cartman then he'll never take him seriously._  This, Craig knew, would only lead to further half-finished conversations with the black boy as he tried to figure out the mystery on his own.  _So we're going to get some information, or we're not going back._

"So if you don't know who they are," Craig finally said, at last, turning back towards Bradley, who started. "Then who does?" When the boy gave another pathetic whine, Tweek let out an exasperated sound. With a twitchy growl, he moved, drawing one of his own wooden knives and shoving it under Bradley's throat. "Tell us," Craig warned, his voice low. "And we'll let you walk away from this in one piece."

"Come on, they're my friends," the boy complained, eyes flickering between Tweek and Craig. "I know some of them are Elves, but we don't care around here. We don't have enough of anything to care. I scrape by on what I can get and they do as well. You can't just come in here and make me give them up. That's not cool."

"We can," Craig told him. "And we will. It's one fucking name Bradley, don't be a bitch about it."

"You're the worst," the boy muttered. Shifting under Tweek's knife, the mercenary said, "It's not like he's been around in a while. You'd have better luck finding them yourselves at this rate." When Tweek twitched hard and let out a rumbling sound, he finally relented and said, "He's an Elf named Philip. He's the one the Bard sends when he wants to talk to these people. But I don't know how much he even knows or if he'll tell you. I'd just give up man."

Drawing back and sheathing his knife, Tweek twitched hard and looked up at Craig, who spent a moment staring into those vivid green eyes before turning back to Bradley. "We'll decide when we give up." Reaching into one of the pouches on his belt, Craig grabbed about a dollar's worth of coins and handed them to Bradley, who looked between the two of them before scurrying around them and through Jimmy's kitchen, no doubt intent on escaping through the back door. Fixing his attention on Tweek, Craig asked, "What now?" only to find the boy staring into the Tavern's main room.

"Ngh- I th-think we're in luck man, Philip's the really tall blond, right?" When Craig nodded, Tweek shivered and jerked his head towards the Tavern. "He's here." Stepping out so he could see what the blond was gesturing at, Craig's eyes widened as he watched the very person they were looking for walk through the door, followed by two other Elven mercenaries. Unlike when Tweek and Craig had entered the bar, the other kids didn't even look up at Philip.

Looking around, Philip's eyes happened to land on Tweek and Craig. Instantly, his hand went to his sword and his eyes narrowed. The Elves beside him went on the defensive as Tweek stepped out of the shadows, leading Craig towards Philip. Tilting his chin up, Craig looked at the other people of the Tavern, who were going for weapons. His expression was a clear sign not to intervene.

"What do you want?" the blond spat. He was a fifth-grader, but unlike Bradley, this boy was taller than even Craig. That being said, the Noirette refused to give an inch. He wasn't scared, why act like it? "I want no business with beings like  _you."_  There was enough contempt in the air to stick a spoon in.

"Huh, that's interesting," Tweek said, twitching to the side hard as he stared up at Philip. "What a shame –ghn- we have business with you." Walking right up to the tall boy, Tweek cocked his head to one side and said, "W-what's say we get a drink and talk this out like civilized people?"

Philip bristled, staring down his nose at Tweek. "There is no civility when it comes to Humans. Especially not those who fight for the Grand Wizard King. You have no honor."

"And you do?" Craig asked evenly, raising an eyebrow. "Well, that's news to me."

"Fuck. Off," Philip said clearly, his pale brown eyes narrowing.

"So we're not going to do this the nice way?" Tweek clarified, shifting his weight into a steady stance. In response, the Elf to Philip's left drew his own short sword and growled. Sighing, Tweek's mouth turned up into a wild grin. "W-what a shame." Without warning, his hand flew to his club and he struck.

As the bartender let out a shout and chairs around them scraped against the floor as other boys got to their feet, Craig darted in to cover Tweek. An arrow from the other Elven mercenary flew at Tweek and Craig blocked it easily with a knife. Drawing his own sword, Philip tried to help the Elf that Tweek had originally attacked before Craig caught the boy's blade and lifted an eyebrow in a clear challenge.

"You know," Craig commented, parrying the boy's blows easily as Tweek put the first Elf on the floor and moved on to the archer. "This would have been so much easier if you just agreed to Tweek's offer. This is so much more _messy_ _."_ As Philip let out a yell and lunged in, Craig twisted to the side and managed to catch the boy's stomach with one of his knives. Using the moment while the boy was winded to his advantage, Craig darted in and delivered two quick jabs to each of the boy's kidneys, further incapacitating him.

Suddenly, Philip's sword came around, slamming into Craig's knees. Swearing, Craig stumbled back and lunged in again, unwilling to allow himself to be taken down by a  _mercenary._  Bringing both of his blades around, Craig slammed the flat of one of them into Philip's back while catching the boy's windpipe with the other. As Tweek took out the archer, Craig dragged the tall blond Elf down to his knees where he could lean over him and glare into his eyes.

"Now," Craig said venomously, even with his flat voice. "Let's talk."

"Fuck you," Philip spat, gritting his teeth and growling at Craig, who simply pressed his wooden blade harder against the boy's throat.

"Grr- D-don't talk to him like that!" Tweek snapped, looming over the pair of them, his frying pan raised. When Philip snapped his mouth shut, Tweek let out a rumbling sound before asking, "Who's the new group who's been attacking the Humans?"

Baring his teeth, Philip said, "I don't know." Hardly even irritated, Craig applied more pressure to the boy's windpipe until he had him bending over backward so he could breathe at all.

"Liar!" Tweek hissed, twitching sharply. "We know that you know, s-so why don't we just cut the b-bullshit?" Craig raised an eyebrow at Philip and waited, for either the boy to speak or for Tweek's signal to just kill him.

"It's none of your damn business," the boy growled, unwilling to be cowed by Tweek and Craig. "Why are you even talking to me, we're not on the same team. The Elves and the Humans are at  _war,_ that means we don't  _help_  each other." He made a good point, but Craig wasn't about to listen to  _good points,_  not when they needed this information.

"Well, it's not like the Elves are standing up for you," Craig pointed out, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "It's a simple question Philip, just tell us what we need to know. We have it on good information that you're the one who deals with these people for the Bard." Shrugging, Craig said, "Just give us a name."

Clenching his teeth hard enough that Craig could hear them creak, the boy finally said, "I won't give you a name, but I'll give you a location." Letting up the pressure he was putting on the boy's neck, Craig tipped his head up and raised an eyebrow. Coughing, Philip took a moment before saying, "I can't say they'll come or even if they won't kill you on sight, but you can find them outside of the City Hall building."

"That's in –ghn- Elf territory," Tweek pointed out.

Letting out a long, low laugh, Philip barred his teeth in an ugly semblance of a grin. "Well then you'll just have to go into Elf territory, won't you?" When Craig growled and pressed harder on his throat, Philip choked out, "After all, it's not as if the Elves like either of us."

With a sound of disgust, Tweek twitched and muttered, "Come on, Craig. We're n-not getting anything else out of this one." Smoothing out his face till it was his usual disinterested mask, Craig stood up abruptly, letting Philip fall to the floor where he coughed and rubbed at his throat. Sweeping his cloak back around him, Craig moved to stand next to the blond, who was staring around them at the rest of the tavern. No one moved, no one dared.

Wrinkling his nose, Tweek gave a shiver before starting towards the door, Craig on his heels. As they walked away, Philip called out from behind them, "It's not going to make a difference, they don't like you!" Stopping, Tweek slowly turned around, jerking to the right as he did so. Putting a hand on Tweek's arm, keeping him from lunging at the boy, Craig furrowed his brows as the Elven mercenary continued, "They hate the Grand Wizard, you won't be able to pay them off like we can."

"Let us deal with that," Craig said calmly, looking at Tweek as he spoke. "Go back to playing dead." As the shivering blond looked up at him, Craig offered him the barest ghost of a smile before settling his cloak and walking out of the tavern, Tweek at his side.

All in all, he was going to mark this one up as a success…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH!!!! Does anyone want to guess what the threat is? YOU'LL NEVER GET IT RIGHT (unless you do, in which case I'll feel stupid for feeling so clever for coming up with it)
> 
> But oh well. Tweek's a bad ass, Craig is a deadly shadow, I use random OCs way too much, what else is new? XD


	54. Butting Heads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAANNND Some of you got it right. Which I should have expected. Seeing as I'm not going to officially reveal anything until the next chapter, I won't spoil anything XD But you're going to love it. Promise.
> 
> Also, omg, there was so much kindness last chapter, I can hardly believe it. YOU PEOPLE ARE SO WONDERFUL!!! I'm glad that the last chapter was properly excellent, I had a feeling you'd like it. Bamf Tweek is the best, just saying.
> 
> But I've rambled on enough~
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek was cold.

The Colorado air was frigid, not that he could do much about it. The Manbearpig pelt definitely helped keep some of the cold out, but his bare torso was entirely numb at this point. Then again it had been his choice to stay dressed like this, mostly because a barbarian with a shirt wasn't all that scary. And if he was going to be a barbarian at all, the least he could do was be scary.

_Besides, I can probably get away with stealing Craig's cloak for part of the meeting._

Twitching, Tweek shrugged his shoulders to settle his fur pelt and glanced to his side. Just as he'd predicted, Craig was there, his cloak pulled up around his face and his hands hidden beneath it. There was blood on his clothing, but Tweek satisfied himself with the knowledge that it was someone else's blood and not Craig's.  _Another successful mission._ He couldn't help the flutter of pride in his chest as he considered it.

As they crossed the road, a group of Elves rose up from the bushes with weapons drawn, but one look from Craig had them crouching back down. It used to be they would have been attacked, now, no one but the most powerful Elves dared mess with either of them. Shivering, Tweek pressed on ahead of Craig, urging the boy to hurry up.

Keeping his eyes fixed on the horizon, instead of letting them drift around like he often did, Tweek asked, "S-so, do you think we got anything useful from –ngh- them?" His feet crunched through the fresh and old snow, leaving a clear trail behind him. There was something about the sound that was uniquely satisfying.

Craig was silent for a moment before saying, "Well we know that we're not imagining things, so that's something." Tweek frowned slightly at that because he knew that Cartman thought they'd been making things up.  _At least now we have proof. He wouldn't turn away evidence, would he? Who would do something like that!?_  He didn't like it, but then, he didn't like most things that had to involve Cartman so was that any real surprise?

The whole thing had started several weeks ago when an entire patrol had been taken out by a guerrilla-style attack that they hadn't been able to pin on anyone. They hadn't even seen who was doing the aggressing, it had been mostly arrows, thrown spears and rustling bushes. Despite Token's insistence that this didn't follow any of the Elves' previous attacks, Cartman had maintained that it was nothing but Kyle being a 'sneaky Jew'. After that, it had been a constant fight to protect themselves against an enemy that their leader wouldn't even admit existed.

Tweek originally hadn't wanted to believe that there was someone out there that the game moderators were hiding from them, but after Craig had been wounded by a glittery spear that had come out of nowhere, he'd changed his mind. Someone was out there attacking them and if they didn't deal with them, then they were just going to get picked off one by one until there was no one left to fight. This was the first official lead they'd gotten, and while it was pretty terrible, it was better than nothing.

"We have a location," he pointed out to Craig, unhooking his small thermos from his belt with shaky fingers and opening the warm container gratefully. As the expresso calmed his nerves somewhat, Tweek continued, "That –rrr- means we have somewhere to start."

Tugging down his chullo with a gloved hand, Craig flatly said, "It could be fake, or it could be a trap." At those words, Tweek's stomach did a roll but he didn't let it show on his face, he just twitched hard and gritted his teeth.  _Jesus, they wouldn't lie about something like this, right? Why would they do something like that? What if they tell these people that we're coming?_  "But," Craig continued suddenly, blowing out a breath. "We know that the Bard deals with them and Philip did say they would try and kill us on sight. Why warn us if they were planning a trap?"

Tweek could think of half a dozen reasons just off the top of his head, but he clamped his mouth shut and didn't bring them up. He wanted this lead to be genuine, even if it meant that they were about to face a potentially unbeatable enemy. "He said that these people hate th-the Grand Wizard! Do you think that m-means anything?"

"No," Craig answered instantly. "Who doesn't hate Cartman?" Well, he had a point there, though Tweek was inclined to believe there was something special about how much this new threat hated the Grand Wizard if Philip had felt inclined to mention it. The whole situation stunk, but no matter how he looked at it, he couldn't think of who would be trying to take them down.

"Grr- The Elves pay them off!" Tweek reminded Craig, shivering and grabbing onto the handle of his club on instinct. "So does the B-bard! Doesn't that mean that they don't like anyone, not just us?" But the Noirette was already shaking his head, his brows furrowing behind his hat. Frustrated, Tweek let out an involuntary growl and pushed out, "What else could we offer t-to make them leave us alone!?"

"Considering we don't know who  _they_  are," Craig muttered, his eyes trained on Tweek, as blue and calm as ever. "We don't really have a good way of knowing what they might want." As they stopped in front of Kupa Keep, Tweek twitched and pinched his mouth closed. He didn't like it, but as always, Craig was right. Tweek knew that it made sense, but he wanted a solution now! This whole game of going into things blind was too much pressure for him to handle.

Shaking it off, Tweek let out a soft growl before running for the fence around the Castle. Using the window ledge beside it as a handhold, Tweek launched himself upwards and, with minimal scrambling, managed to toss himself up and onto the top of the fence before using the drainpipe to help himself down. Several Humans looked up as Craig flipped himself over the fence with a great deal more grace, but they settled back down once they knew who it was. After all, no one was about to question where Tweek and Craig went.

Having that much notoriety was a little terrifying, but Tweek was dealing with it as well as he could. Besides, Craig was there with him so it wasn't like he was alone.

As they both walked towards the Castle, Tweek looked around at the people huddled up around the small fire pits that had been set up. Noticing the new injuries on several of the warriors, Tweek twitched hard and let out an involuntary squeak. He didn't get it, and he was scared to find out. Even so, he refused to let it rattle him, he just clenched his hand around his club and took deep, shaky breaths.

Catching sight of a familiar face, Tweek raised his hand in greeting to Terry and Jesse, who were both sitting by the fire pit closest to the Castle. When they looked at him, Tweek noticed the cut above Terry's eye and the bruise on Jesse's jaw. Wincing internally, the blond bumped up against Craig, who looked over at the two soldiers. Brows furrowing slightly, the Thief drew in a sharp breath, but still tilted his chin high and gave them both a nod. As if emboldened by this, both injured boys picked their heads up and looked stronger somehow.

Walking up the drawbridge towards the Castle, Tweek was met with a blast of warm air as the magical fires inside whisked away a good portion of the cold. Twitching, blinking rapidly in an attempt to adjust his eyes to the darkness, Tweek looked at the gathered warriors that had been deemed important enough to be part of strategy meetings. Everyone looked grim, no doubt for the same reasons that the boys outside had been injured and it made Tweek's stomach twist.  _We can't handle any more bad news. Everything has been horrible already!_

Looking away from the strategy map that Token had created weeks ago, Cartman raised an eyebrow and said, "Tweek, Feldspar. It took you long enough. I thought that perhaps the Elves had taken you both out." Frowning, adjusting his wizard robes, the boy said, "Well, sit down. We might as well start." The defeat in the boy's posture made Tweek growl involuntarily, he wasn't used to Cartman of all people looking hopeless.

Taking a seat next to Clyde, who'd been allowed to leave the sick tent for this, Tweek looked around at the faces of the other kids. The first thing that drew his attention was Butters and the bruise that was covering one of his eyes. The next thing he noticed was that Token was standing as well, his arms crossed and a frown on his face. As Craig sat down next to him and Tweek dragged the edge of the boy's cloak around his own shoulders on instinct, Tweek shot a questioning look at Clyde, who shook his head and frowned.

_Oh god, what's happened this time?_

Clearing his throat, Cartman said, "I'm sure I don't have to remind you all that we are in dire straits right now. Winter has not been kind to Humanity, in fact, if things continue as they're going, we won't last until spring." In front of Tweek, Kenny put his head down and beside him, Clyde hissed through his teeth. "We managed to take back the stick last week for a short period of time thanks to the efforts of Princess Kenny and Feldspar, but we lost it again. At this rate, we're headed for destruction."

Pacing before the map of Zaron, Cartman folded his hands behind his back and continued, "What is worse, even after the staggering losses we've already taken, we lost the Tweek Bro's territory today."  _Wait, what?!_  Letting out a yelp, Tweek twitched hard and stared at Cartman, who simply nodded gravely. Fighting not to grab for his hair, the blond shivered and looked over at Butters as the injured boys he'd seen outside started to make sense.  _But wait, doesn't that mean they'll attack us if we try to go there?! JESUS THIS IS SO MUCH PRESSURE!_

From where he sat fidgeting, Butters piped up, "Ah, w-we managed to hold 'em back at th' cinema, b-but there was nothin' we could do!" Clenching his fists in his lap, Tweek tried to focus on the feeling of Craig's arm wrapped around him rather than the thought of his family's business being under the control of the Elves. "An' if that wasn't enough, we got shot at when we were headin' back!"

Letting out a huff of breath, Token tapped his foot and said, "Which is the next thing we should be focusing on, instead of complaining about how much we've lost." Rounding on the black boy, Cartman scowled and crossed his arms, clearly frustrated with the matter being brought up yet again. "We aren't going to be able to win anything if we're getting picked off, one by one," Token pointed out, not backing down. "Grand Wizard, I'm trying to do what makes the most sense."

"And I've told you," Cartman drawled, frustrated. "We don't have any evidence that there's anyone but Kyle and his sneaky Elves attacking us. This is all just a distraction tactic, we can't let ourselves be fooled by them. Besides, if someone new joined the game then they'd show up on the Game's Facebook page."

Shaking his head, Token carefully said, "Not if they were specifically leaving them out. There was something suspicious already about the fact that the GMs haven't been answering my questions about these surprise attacks, but the fact that I can't find any footage of the attacks? That means that they're hiding something, probably because they've been told to." Spreading his hands wide, Token finished, "Tell me that sounds normal Grand Wizard because I don't think it is."

"You don't have any proof!" Cartman exclaimed, exasperated. "Token, usually, you make good points, but this is not a good point. They're just Elves, not some brand new faction."

"Their weapons are pink and gold," Token fired back, expression darkening. "None of the Elven weapons look anything like what we're being hit with. Isn't that proof enough." From beside Craig, Tweek let out a soft squeak.  _Why do they have to argue this?! We have proof now, just call on us!_

But Cartman and Token were too caught up to even look their way. Advancing on Token, Cartman pointed at Kenny and said, "For the love of god Token, Lady McCormick uses pink and gold weapons! The color of those arrows means nothing!"

"Don't you drag me into this!" Kenny protested hotly, his skirts fluffing up as he bounced in his seat indignantly. Tweek didn't blame him, he would have freaked out if anyone even pretended to implicate him as a traitor. "I had nothing to do with this at all."

"That's what I've been trying to prove!" Token said more loudly, cutting through Kenny's protests. Looking around, Token huffed and said, "Tweek, Feldspar, please tell me you found something today." As soon as his name was called, Tweek leaped to his feet, stumbling as Craig's cloak pulled on his torso in a way he hadn't been expecting.  _Finally!_

"What are you talking about?" Cartman demanded, crossing his arms. "Feldspar and Tweek were out on our southern borders, right?"  _Wait, what?!_ Grabbing for his club to avoid screaming, Tweek's eyes jumped between the two boys, fear running through him.  _But Token told us to go to the Giggling Donkey! When were we supposed to patrol?!_

Waving off Cartman's words, Token watched Tweek and Craig calmly as he said, "I sent them to the Giggling Donkey instead to gather intel, seeing as you wouldn't do anything about it." Before Cartman could interrupt, Token said, "Go on, what did you find?"

Glancing up at Craig, who had also gotten to his feet, Tweek shivered when Craig raised an eyebrow at him. Taking it as a clear signal that Craig was waiting for him to start, Tweek let out an involuntary noise before quickly saying, "Ngh- W-we went to talk to some of our informants at the Giggling Donkey about this new th-threat! After a bit of asking around –rrr- w-we discovered that there was indeed a new faction of people th-that were attacking the Humans."

Crossing his arms and glaring at Craig and Tweek, Cartman puffed out his chest and said, "I don't believe it. That's too convenient. You two only found what you wanted to find."  _He doesn't believe us?!_  Tweek could feel his shaking start to get worse as he stared wide-eyed at Cartman.  _Jesus, why doesn't he believe us!? Why would we be lying?_

Then Craig's hand landed in his hair and Tweek could feel his courage start to return as the Noirette flatly answered. "We found exactly what we beat out of these people." As if Cartman's skeptical expression didn't affect him in the slightest, Craig continued in a bored tone. "The Human Mercenary we asked said that whoever these people are, both the Bard and the Elves are paying them off to avoid being attacked. Which means that whoever they are, they aren't on anyone's side."

Feeling emboldened, Tweek twitched to the right and said, "The Elf we questioned, who's the one who deals with these people on behalf of the Bard said that he wouldn't give us a name, but he gave us a location to find them at." Though the Grand Wizard pulled a sulking expression, Token nodded and smiled, as if this had been the right answer.

From where he sat, Clyde raised a tentative hand. "Um… I don't know what you guys think but I'm pretty sure we should be doing something about these people."

"I agree," Kenny said, no doubt still a little peeved at being implicated as a traitor. "I take it we won't be able to pay them off like the Elves?"

Craig shook his head at the same time as Cartman's yell of, "Oh  _hell_  no, we are  _not_  paying some group of warriors to keep them from attacking us. We will either convince them or we will destroy them. I am not bribing anyone."

"Th-they wouldn't take your money anyway!" Tweek found himself blurting out, twitching as he did so. "The Elves say that they hate you the most!" Eyes suddenly widening, Tweek clamped his mouth shut and took a nervous step back as Cartman narrowed his eyes in the blonde's direction.  _Oh god, why did I have to say that?! But it's true! So why wouldn't I say it?!_

Quickly catching on to what was happening, Token chose that moment to butt in. "I think the more important question is where they say we can find these people." Looking at Cartman, who stood back a pace and held his tongue for the time being, the black Cleric looked back at Craig. "It's on Elven territory, isn't it?"

"Yep," Craig answered, rocking forward on the balls of his feet before rocking back to his heels. "Right in front of City Hall." Vibrating where he stood, Tweek waited for Token's verdict while his eyes traveled around the room. Cartman seemed to be accepting the news rather well now that he'd gotten over himself. Butters looked terrified and Clyde looked worried, which made sense, but it was Kenny's reaction that Tweek didn't understand. The boy looked almost peeved, like whoever this new threat was, they were more of an inconvenience than anything.  _What's that supposed to mean? They're dangerous, not just inconvenient!_

Breaking the silence, Cartman said, "Well, that sounds wonderful. I  _totally_  have enough soldiers to just throw a few at a mission that's probably a trap." Jerking, Tweek stared at the boy, who had his arms crossed stubbornly. "The fact of the matter is that the Elves are still a bigger threat than this new faction."

"But we're never going to be able to beat the Elves if we're trying to deal with two different hostile forces at once," Token argued, furrowing his brows as his mouth twitched down in a scowl. "If this new threat is a smaller problem, why not deal with them first?"

"We don't have men t-to spare!" Butters exclaimed, his pale blue eyes wide and scared. "I mean, I jus' don't think we can do somethin' like that. If we tried, w-we wouldn't have enough to fight off th' Elves, an' they're always attackin' now!" Gesturing towards Butters, Cartman raised an eyebrow at Token as though this proved his point.

"Hang on," Kenny interjected, getting to his feet amid a flurry of pink lace. "Who said we needed to send a patrol? In fact, I'd say the smaller the better." When both Token and Cartman opened their mouths to object, Kenny held out a hand and planted the other one on his hip as he continued, in a louder voice, "These people are guerrilla warriors, they're more likely to come out if they think they can take out the threat if they need to. So send a couple Humans and call it done."

Narrowing his eyes, Cartman huffed but didn't argue. Instead, he tapped his foot and thought about what Kenny had said, an irritated expression on his face. Token, on the other hand, was tipping his head back thoughtfully. "These people don't like to be seen, we'd have to draw them out if we want to ever have a chance of figuring this out. You're right, two or three people would be a lot less threatening than seven or eight soldiers armed to the teeth."

Face morphing into a pleased expression, Kenny nodded, sweeping his hair behind his shoulders as he did so. "Exactly! And I'm not saying we don't arm the people we send, but I'd say this is going to turn out to be a more diplomatic mission than anything else. After all, they aren't showing their faces, they're not about to attack us like the Elves would."

"So maybe we send in one to draw them out an another to tail them when they show up," Token suggested, clearly already working it through in his mind. "That or draw one of them out so we can question them."

Annoyed that he was being ignored, Cartman interjected, "Okay, whoa, wait, I am not sending in two random soldiers into this mess." Looking about himself at the people there, Cartman's eyes landed on Tweek and Craig and his mouth split into a malicious smile. "Since they're so interested in this matter already, why don't we send Feldspar and Tweek to do it."

Shivering, Tweek looked at Token, expecting the boy to say no, but all he found was the boy nodding, a contemplative expression on his face. "That could work actually." Looking over at Kenny, Token shrugged. "Tweek could draw them out, Feldspar could tail them. They're both powerful enough to hold their own, plus, other than me, they already know the most about this. It makes sense."

Turning around to Tweek and Craig, Kenny gave a bright smile and pressed his hands together in delight. "Ooh that sounds like a  _wonderful_  idea!" he exclaimed, looking between Tweek and Craig, his baby blue eyes glowing with a terrifying excitement. "You two make just the bestest pair ever! What do you say, hmm? You wouldn't let us all down and say no, would you?"

With a twitch, Tweek clenched his hand around his club hard enough that his knuckles creaked so he wouldn't scream. Knowing that everyone's eyes were on Craig and he, the boy looked up at Craig jerkily and waited for Craig to stop glaring at Kenny so he could meet the blonde's eyes. He wished he could read the things that Craig was thinking in the boy's eyes, but from what he could understand, he knew that Craig was asking him if he wanted to do it.  _I don't, but I don't know if we have a choice._  Shaking, Tweek jerked left and let out a soft, "Ngh~"

Expression smoothing out, Craig turned to the other boys as his hand went to Tweek's hair. As his long fingers ruffled Tweek's blond mane, the Noirette clearly said, "We'll do it." The moment he'd said it, Tweek felt his resolve return. Because as soon as he knew that whatever happened, he was going to be with Craig, nothing seemed quite as worrying anymore. Even once Craig's hand slipped back to his side, Tweek still stood straight and looked at the other boys with the confidence that he wished he could always show.

"Good," Cartman said shortly, his eyes narrowed. "You can carry out this mission tomorrow. Until then, this meeting is adjourned."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, the next chapter is going to be sooo much fun. I haven't _quite_ decided how I'm going to set it up yet but I can confidently say that this is one of the last plot arcs before the official stick of truth game. Which is going to be fun, (obviously). Because then we can move on to phone destroyer and then on to Tweek x Craig... it's gonna be great.
> 
> So anyway, I've been thinking a lot about music lately, especially when it comes to these two characters. I just love the idea that you can have a song that perfectly describes how a character is feeling. If you couldn't already tell, I was wondering what songs y'all think of when it comes to these characters? I personally think of two off the top of my head. Monsters, by Adam Jensen, and The Scientist, by Flux Pavilion. But I want to know what music _you_ guys think of!!
> 
> Before I let you go, I just wanted to say that the beautiful Telesthesia is currently writing a story that I _love_ and I thought that all y'all lovers of the stargazing scenes in my story might want to check it out. It's called Star Gazer~ Personally, I think it's a beautiful idea and it's' being executed wonderfully.
> 
> That's enough of me rambling, ta-ta for now~


	55. Ride Of The Valkyries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O.O There were so many good songs that you guys came up with for these two!! I love them all!! I'm still listening to a playlist of them though so it might be a bit before I can answer every comment. I want to listen to each one before I comment on them XD I did see some songs I recognized though, which made me happy. I agree, Medicine by Daughter is great for Tweek, though it made me get a bit teary-eyed thinking about it. Likewise, Dance with the Devil by Breaking Benjamin for their relationship gave me chills!
> 
> Anyways, this chapter is super duper long, sorry about that. I had a thing I wanted to get through and I just kept going until I got through it XD 
> 
> Enjoy.

"Can you believe it's almost next year?" Tweek's eyes were trained skyward, even though they were walking through Elven territory. Craig had noticed that, the way that in the game, Tweek had gone from being ultra-concerned about his surroundings to hardly caring about them at all. There was something appropriate about it, like someone as strong as Tweek shouldn't be worried about getting jumped. Besides, Craig was there to keep a look-out, so it was fine either way.

"It's not even Christmas yet," Craig commented, spotting two Elves between the O-mobile store and the Post Office. He didn't bother to point them out to Tweek, it wasn't like they were a threat. Drawing level with the shorter boy, Craig's eyes went back to scanning the rooftops as he asked, "Or did you just forget a holiday?"

"Rrr- I d-didn't forget!" Tweek insisted, grabbing for his thermos and taking several sips of Expresso. "I just d-don't like Christmas much." Craig looked down at the boy at that, one eyebrow hiking upward in surprise. Though he didn't have the best family, they still got together for Christmas and pretended to like each other for those two days in December. He'd always appreciated Christmas, just for that reason alone, so he couldn't imagine why someone  _wouldn't_  like the holiday.

"Why not?" he asked when Tweek just twitched under his eyes and jerked his head back around so he was watching the horizon. Spotting a lone Elven Archer on the roof of Unplanned Parenthood, Craig gave the boy a  _don't even think about it_ look as they passed. "Do you not celebrate Christmas?"

"Have you seen my house man?!" Tweek squeaked, his eyes wide. "W-we celebrate it way too much! My parents are crazy, th-they always take Christmas way too far. Ngh- I hate it!" The boy's fingers tightened around his sword hilt as he shivered and shook his head. "Besides, th-they haven't even noticed the last few years that I've –ghn- hidden in my room for Christmas."

"Oh." Staring at the snow-covered pavement in silence for a moment, Craig tried to imagine his parents letting him get away with skipping Christmas. He was pretty certain they'd force him to join the rest of the family if he tried.  _And Tweek just sits alone in his room on Christmas…_  Somehow, that felt wrong.

As they passed by the wide, empty space next to the town hall building, Tweek shivered and asked, "D-do you think we'll find the new faction?" Looking around carefully, alert for even a rustle of leaves that could signal the presence of someone else, Craig took a moment to think about the question and calculate what odds he could.

"If anyone does the finding, it'll be them finding us," Craig answered calmly, glancing behind them as he spoke, checking to be sure they weren't being followed. Met with an empty sidewalk, Craig was forced to accept that if someone was following them, they were fucking good. He wasn't worried, the two of them could handle just about anything thrown at them, but he still didn't like the feeling of walking in blind.

Tweek, on the other hand, didn't seem worried. "Good, that means w-we don't have to do anything." Glancing down at the boy sharply, Craig tilted his head, only to find the boy biting his lip to hold back a grin. Snorting and rolling his eyes, the Noirette nudged Tweek's shoulder, which only made the boy giggle softly. Doing his best to keep a serious face rather than smiling like he was tempted to do, Craig made sure he had a hand on one of his wooden knives before walking into the snowy plaza, Tweek next to him.

As they walked into the paved square before the City Hall building, Craig was struck with the horrible feeling of being exposed. They were out in the open, surrounded by excellent hiding places for anyone who might want to sneak up on them. Though Craig hadn't seen anyone on his way down, something gave him the feeling that they were being watched regardless. Maybe it was the empty looking City Hall building ahead of them, with that single dark window in the upper story that overlooked them. Or maybe it was the trees that were just a little too still, like they were holding their breath.

"Hey Tweek," Craig said softly, furrowing his brows at the ugly way his voice broke the silence.

"Y-yeah?" Tweek asked, turning to face him with a twitch.

Abruptly realizing that he hadn't thought of what to say, past  _I think someone is watching us,_  Craig found himself saying, "For Christmas, want to spend it at my house?" Though he was momentarily confused as to why that had been the first thing he thought of to say, Craig decided to stick with it. Besides, the idea of Tweek alone on Christmas was still troubling him, this seemed like a good solution.

Eyes widening in surprise, Tweek shivered and opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but he shut it just as quickly.  _Why did I ask him something like that, we're in the middle of a mission._  Feeling foolish and slightly awkward to boot, Craig quickly turned away and muttered, "Forget I asked." Fixing his eyes on the tree-line resolutely, Craig pushed all extraneous thoughts out of his head so he could focus on what they were supposed to be doing.

Tweek let out a soft involuntary sound, but he didn't argue, for which Craig was glad. Instead, the boy started for the City Hall building, one hand already resting on the handle of his frying pan. Craig, on the other hand, kept listening for the sound of rustling pine needles or muffled footsteps that would give away someone's presence.  _They're probably watching us right now._  Swinging his head around sharply, as if he might catch sight of a pair of eyes if he moved quickly enough, Craig found something else that gave him pause.

"Red?" His cousin, of all people, was standing at the mouth of the town square, staring at him. The red-haired girl was definitely dressed for the weather, with the blue coat his mother had gotten the girl at the same time that she'd gotten Craig his coat on and gloves on her hands, but he still was surprised to see her there. It wasn't as if he had much occasion to talk to her, despite them both being in the same grade.

From behind Craig, Tweek let out a growl that quickly turned into a yelp of surprise. "JESUS! W-what are you doing here?" As the boy quickly ran over to Craig's side, the Noirette noticed that he'd drawn his club, no doubt assuming that Red had been an enemy at first. Deciding to follow his example, even though his cousin definitely wasn't someone they were going to be fighting, Craig drew one of his knives, hiding the motion beneath his cloak.

Crossing her arms, Red cocked her hips to one side and asked, "What are you doing here?" Resisting the urge to flip the girl off, Craig rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.

"It's a role-playing game," he told her, half expecting his cousin to roll her eyes at him and scoff. When her expression didn't change, Craig shook his head.  _Of course, she wouldn't understand._ "Look," he attempted to explain, mildly irritated by the interruption. "We're kind of in the middle of a mission that has to do with this new faction, just leave us alone."

"Yeah!" Tweek agreed, practically vibrating beside Craig. "Th-this is a boy's game!"  _Fuck, if there was anyone here they're probably long gone by now,_  the Noirette realized, already tired of talking to Red.  _There goes any chance of us getting anything done today..._

Craig was about to just turn around and ignore Red entirely because this was really wasting time, when suddenly the girl said, "That's what I thought." Before Craig could even begin to figure out what that meant, there were the sounds of swords being drawn behind them. "I'm sorry you two, but you just messed with the wrong faction."

It was instincts that kept Craig alive at that moment, that was all. Without even giving his mind time to catch up, Craig drew both knives before ducking and rolling, avoiding the three arrows that had been launched at him. Unsure what was going on, Craig leaped to his feet to find Jenny Simons and Annie Knitts, of all people, were behind him. Swearing as Annie swung a bejeweled sword at his face, Craig just barely managed to counter the strike with the edge of one of his own knives.

"W-what are you doing!?" From the other side of the plaza, Tweek was trying to fend off Red, who had somehow gotten her hands on a sword of her own, while two other girls fired arrows at him. "GRR- W-what's going on?!" He wasn't doing anything to attack Red, but Craig didn't blame him.  _What the hell is going on? The girls aren't part of the game!_

"What does it look like?" Heidi Turner exclaimed, abandoning her bow in favor of the short sword hanging from her belt and the flowery shield strapped to her arm. "We're attacking you, idiot!" Cursing again, more loudly this time, Craig feinted to the right before ducking left and catching Heidi's sword, which would have caught Tweek across the back. He kept seeing openings to attack and not just defend, but he kept passing them up because  _these are girls, they're not even supposed to be playing!_

Finding himself being forced away from Tweek by Annie, who had a killer intent in her eyes, Craig could do nothing but watch as Jenny's spear hit Tweek in the ribs, probably leaving him a bruise but definitely taking away hit points. Using his distraction to her advantage, Heidi slammed the flat of her blade across the Noirette's chest, knocking him back a few paces. Gritting his teeth, Craig swung his blades in tandem, managing to land a hit on the girl.

Instantly feeling dirty because  _damnit you aren't supposed to hit girls,_  Craig almost ended up getting his head taken off by Annie, who'd come up on his other side. Cornered, Craig was forced to return to defending as he managed to exclaim, "But you're girls!" As if this were the wrong answer, Heidi let out a growl and delivered several quick hits that he only just managed to counter.

"Since when does that matter!" Esther asked, training her bow on Craig instead of Tweek. The glittering arrow caught him on the shoulder, making him curse under his breath. "We can fight just like you can!"

"B-but why were you attacking the Humans?!" Tweek yelped out, knocking another arrow out of the air with his frying pan. "We n-never did anything to you!" Though he was holding himself together better than he might have if this had happened a few weeks ago, it was clear that fighting girls was making him panic.

"Because your leader is a total misogynist!" Red growled, her words earning her cries of agreement from her fellow warriors. "And because it's not fair that the boys get to play and we don't!" Her sword connected with Tweek's frying pan with a clang. "So now, you're going to pay!"

"We just came to talk," Craig insisted, even as he ducked around Annie and landed a critical hit on the back of her neck. Wincing as the skin instantly flared and angry red, Craig avoided Heidi as he continued, "We're fucking losing and it's your  _fault!"_  The last word was punctuated by a swing at the girl closest to him, which she blocked with an answering growl.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have sided with Cartman!" Annie exclaimed, even as she traded blows with Craig. Aware that they weren't going to be able to keep this up forever, Craig attempted to get back to Tweek, only to be cut off by Heidi. "He's an asshole and anyone who follows him is just as bad!"

"We just w-want to –ghn- TALK!" Tweek all but shrieked. There followed a cracking sound as Jenny's spear broke in half. Frustration welling up in his chest, Craig tried to push aside his reservations about fighting at his best and flew at the two girls he was facing with twice the force as before. Feinting to the side, Craig dragged one of his serrated blades across Heidi's ribs, only to feel Annie's sword slamming into his elbow.

"We don't talk to boys," Heidi growled, shoving Craig backward with her shield. It didn't seem to matter that she was hardly any taller than Tweek, she made up for every inch with an almost demonic power. As the air left his lungs in a  _whoosh,_ Craig stumbled upright, only just defending his face from Annie's blade.

"You talked to Philip!" Craig's words brought a look of surprise to Annie's face that was mirrored by Heidi. Exchanging a quick look, Heidi suddenly got in the way of Craig's blades, allowing Annie to pull back for a moment. Seeing the girl get out her phone, Craig grit his teeth in frustration and insisted, "We fucking did, and he said you bargained with the Elves and with the Bard!"

Looking up from her phone, Annie announced, "She says take the tall one!" Before Craig could ask what that was supposed to mean, Heidi got in his face and forced him to back up with several slashes of her sword. As Annie rejoined the fight, Craig could only do his best to defend himself as both girls landed hit after hit, quickly draining his health.

"NGH- TAKE CRAIG WHERE!?" Tweek demanded, though his hands were full trying to deal with the three girls surrounding him. "W-WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH HIM!?" He had his short sword drawn as well now and was swinging it along with his frying pan, managing to keep Esther, Red, and Jenny from killing him, but not doing much damage.  _Shit, we're losing!_

"It's none of your business, Human scum," Heidi growled. With a final strike, the girl caught Craig across the cheek with her sparkling blade, knocking him to the ground with the help of Annie, who dragged down on the back of his cloak at the same time. He didn't even need to be told to know that they'd just knocked him out, Tweek's scream was plenty. As he fell, he watched the boy attempt to push through the girls to get to him, only to be shoved back by Red.

"Hold the Barbarian down!" Annie called to the other girls, pulling something out of her pocket. When Craig saw the strip of cloth, he tried to struggle away, only to have Heidi plant a foot on his chest and Annie hiss, "You're unconscious, so you had better act like it." Gritting his teeth, Craig managed to get a hand up so he could flip her off, even as she roughly tied the cloth around his eyes, blindfolding him.

Now blinded, Craig could only stumble as Annie and Heidi yanked him upright and started dragging him away. From somewhere to his left, he heard Tweek's cry of, "RRR- CRAIG!" but he couldn't answer, not without incurring the girls' wrath once more. Gritting his teeth against Tweek's incensed and terrified noises, Craig let Annie and Heidi haul him out of the plaza, having no way of knowing where they were taking him.

There was the sound of a car door opening from somewhere to his right, which was accompanied by Annie saying, "If you could just not fight us, that would be great." Moving his head in the direction of her voice, Craig pulled his mouth down in a scowl, but still let them push him into the vehicle. He wasn't exactly sure what else he was supposed to do, it wasn't like the Humans or the Elves took captives, they usually just incapacitated enemies.

As the girls got into the car with him, an older girl's voice from the front seat said, "Another one of these kids? Jesus, what do you girls do to them?" Both Heidi and Annie giggled, as if this were the funniest thing they'd ever heard. Craig kind of wanted to run now while he still had a chance of getting away, but he knew the game rules as well as anyone else who played the game so he just sat back in his seat and let them strap a seatbelt over his lap.

"Come on, it's just a game!" Heidi said brightly from Craig's left. "You know where to take us~" There was the sound of the engine starting, then they were moving. Though he wasn't supposed to, Craig couldn't help but turn his head in the direction he knew the City Hall was, wishing as he did so that he could see Tweek.  _Fuck, he's probably going crazy. Fuck fuck fuck-_

On his right, he heard Annie say brightly, "Yes! Yes, we do have him. He's behaving wonderfully." She paused, and Craig realized that she was talking on the phone. "I know it's not the best, but he knew about us." Whatever the girl on the other end said, Annie made a sound of agreement in the back of her throat. "Well, you're the one who originally let the Elves know about us so you should have assumed something like this would happen."

Clenching his hands under his cloak, Craig struggled to relax as he fingered the butter knife he had stitched into the pocket of his pants. He was technically unconscious right now, but that didn't mean he wouldn't fight back if they started to do anything weird. To be honest, he wasn't sure what kind of weird things they'd even do, but he was willing to say that kidnapping was one of them.  _See, this is why we don't let girls play…_

There was a sigh from Annie. "Come on, you know that's because-" She cut herself off with a sympathetic cooing noise. "No no no, sweetheart, I know, I know you just broke up with him. I know it hurts. It's okay, I didn't mean it like that."

From Craig's other side, Heidi scoffed softly and muttered, "She always breaks up with him, she'll be back together with him in a few days. It's so stupid." Though he wasn't allowed to talk, Craig wanted to agree that, yes, everything about this situation was stupid, especially the part where they'd only taken him and not Tweek, but he was pretty sure talking was still off limits.

"No, Red, Jenny, and Esther are still back at the square," Annie said, her tone not exactly irritated, but definitely disgruntled. "It took all of them to hold Tweek back." A pause. "That's what I thought!" At the mention of the blond, Craig grit his teeth together hard enough that he could hear them creak. Without Tweek's presence at his side, Craig felt weird, almost naked somehow. He was used to the silence being filled with those soft little sounds the blond made and without that constant energy next to him, it was like going deaf.

"Alright, we'll discuss it when we get there!" Annie announced happily. "Sunshine sparkle!" There was a rustling, then the girl said, "We should be there in a moment. Sorry about the blindfold, we don't want boys knowing how to find us."

"Yeah, because boys suck," Heidi agreed.

"But we'll heal you when we get there, so that you can talk and stuff," Annie finished brightly. "Because we aren't barbarians."  _No, because at least Barbarians have class…_

Sitting there, unable to talk, Craig simply smoothed his face out to his most neutral expression and faced straight ahead.  _The least they could have done is bring Tweek with us._  Without him, Craig was currently looking at having to talk to the girls alone and he was pretty sure that was going to end… well, badly to say the least. If he was lucky, he wouldn't fuck up anything too horribly.  _You see, this is why they shouldn't have sent us. At least Token would have known what to do. Or Kenny! He's been pretending to be a girl for a while, isn't he more qualified?_  But they couldn't have known who the threat was and besides, the Humans didn't have people to spare.

At least he didn't have to sit there in silence for long. Almost too soon, the car was stopping and Craig was being hustled out of the car. As the girls hurried him into a building, he heard lots of greetings and even more sounds of disgust. He didn't blame the girls, he didn't want to be here with them any more than they wanted him around. Most girls were just sort of annoying and weird, he would have picked Tweek over all of them any day. Token and Clyde too, but he was having trouble not thinking about the spastic blond at that moment.

"He needs to be healed!" a voice called from somewhere behind him.

A moment later, someone gingerly touched his arm before saying, "There, I guess. I still can't believe we have to bring them here."

"It's not our fault," Heidi said defensively. "We were told to."

Through another door he was pushed, then finally Annie pulled him down and quickly removed his blindfold. The first thing Craig registered was pink. Everywhere. The next thing he picked up on was the sheer number of girls in front of him, all arranged behind separate desks. Some of them were decked out in winter appropriate clothes; others had color coordinated armor on. From what he could see, every one of them had some sort of weapon on their person. Blinking to get his eyes readjusted to the light, Craig slowly looked up at the front of the room, where something like a judge's podium had been erected.

Wendy was in full battle gear. A spear was strapped to her back and a flowery shield hung in front of her desk, all of it in matching shades of purple. Below her were two more girls, each with notebooks in front of them. He vaguely recognized them as kids from his grade, but he'd never had occasion to interact with any of them. That being said, the looks of silent displeasure they were giving him were sharp enough to cut glass.

From her throne, Wendy sharply said, "The Three-hundredth and Eighty-First meeting of the girls is hereby called to order. Sunshine sunshine!"

"Sparkle!" chorused the other girls in the room, including Annie and Heidi. Looking about, Craig did the first thing that came to mind and flipped them all off.

"Sunshine sparkle," called the girl below and to the right of Wendy. "Annie Knitts has the floor."

Stepping forward, her short curly hair bobbing with her, Annie brightly said, "If it pleases and sparkles, I've brought the Human warrior, Craig, that you requested to see~" Several of the girls let out groans, but the sound of Wendy smacking the table with her mallet quickly brought them to order. Undeterred by the negative reaction to her words, Annie continued, "We knew we'd have to deal with them eventually Wendy, you can't just ignore them forever."

Frowning, Wendy turned towards Bebe, who was sitting to her right. "Bebe, come on, you're the one who's in charge of dealing with the Humans. I thought they were under control!"

"Sunshine sparkle, Bebe Stevens has the floor!"

Clearing her throat, tall girl tossed her long blond hair over her shoulder before saying, "If it pleases and sparkles, the Humans  _were_  under control. This is the first I've heard of them having knowledge of our operations!" Crossing her arms, Bebe let out a quick, calming sigh before turning to look at Craig and saying, "Nothing against you Craig, but you weren't supposed to find out about us."

The other girl under Wendy suddenly called out, "Red just set a message! They say that the other Human has been dealt with and they're headed back now!" Craig's blood ran cold at that, thoughts of Tweek lying bruised and battered in front of City Hall flashing through his mind.

"What did you do to Tweek?" he demanded, his usually even tone louder than usual.  _If they hurt him for real…_ Craig wasn't sure what he'd do but he was getting pissed just thinking about it. Ever since finding out that Tweek saw the game as real, and not just pretend, Craig had been more aware of how game injuries translated in his mind. The idea of Tweek freaking out at the sight of his own blood and passing out was enough to put him on all sorts of edges.

Exchanging looks with several of the other girls, Wendy finally said, "He'll be fine. You should be more worried about yourself."  _Like I give a shit about myself. Fuck this, why did they send me on the mission of peace?_ "What did you come find us for?"

"Fuck. That." Craig said, his voice as flat and seemingly calm as ever even if his insides weren't. "What the fuck do you mean by you  _dealt with him?"_

Letting out a sigh that seemed to be directed at Wendy, Bebe fixed Craig with one of those calming smiles that all girls seemed to practice, and said, "It probably means they escaped him without him following them." Waiting for a moment for the information to sink in, the girl continued, "It's okay Craig, we girls don't like to resort to violence in cases like this."

"It sure as shit didn't stop Red from attacking me," Craig pointed out, crossing his arms and furrowing his brows. "We're the ones who came for peace, you're the ones who've been fucking shooting at us when we're already injured and beaten. I don't know what shit you think non-violence is but this isn't fucking it." Having exhausted the anger that the situation had built up in his system, Craig fell silent and just stood there, unmovable in his irritation.

After staring at him for a moment in awe-inspired silence, the girls broke out into a bout of murmuring as they all talked about what he'd just said. Standing there among them, Craig waited until, inevitably, Wendy banged her gavel on the desk and said, "Okay okay! I know that this isn't glittery, but we don't like the Humans, remember?"

"If it pleases and sparkles, Craig does have a point," Millie piped up, her short pigtails bouncing along with her movements. "We've let the Elves and the Bard get away with not getting attacked, besides, do we really want to keep playing this game for forever? I vote we listen to him."

"I think so too!" Annie agreed from beside Craig. "He didn't even want to hit us when we were fighting, I don't think the Humans are as bad as you're making them out to be Wendy." Heidi nodded as well, which surprised Craig because the girl had been vicious when fighting him.

"Come on, Wendy," Bebe insisted, looking to the leader plaintively. "I mean you don't even have to talk to Cartman. Craig's not all that bad, at least he isn't a lying two-faced bitch like some people I could name." Her words were met with a chorus of agreement as all the other girls no doubt thought about the person that Bebe was talking about and agreed that Craig was nothing like her. For not the first time in his life, Craig was struck by the thought that girls were  _vicious._

"I guess you're right about that," Wendy admitted, looking to the side in irritation.

"Sunshine sparkle, the motion to hear Craig out passes!"

Crossing her arms, clearly still annoyed, Wendy said, "Fine, you've got five minutes Craig Tucker. Convince me, why should we, the girls, listen to the Humans about anything?" As one, all eyes in the room turned towards him.

Among the many other things that crossed his mind, Craig took that moment to think,  _Well shit…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that was fun. Poor Craig, he's not good with public speaking XD Let's hope they don't kill him.
> 
> So the weirdest thing happened to me while I was writing this chapter. This girl messaged me on Tumblr who said that she just wanted to talk to random strangers. One thing leads to another and I eventually figured out she was a cam girl and she was giving me a free pass to watch her stream. (｡￫∀￩｡) needless to say, I wasn't interested in watching porn XD But she happened to say that because it was the pre-show she'd do anything I asked. Is it wrong that the first thing I did was think of several different creek fluff stories that I could ask her to read aloud? I'm horrible.
> 
> But seriously, I'm curious, how many of you have gotten random DMs or messages from people who're just interested in something sexual? Because damn, I don't even have my picture on my Tumblr or Instagram and it's still happened several times.


	56. Bleeding Through The Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first off, say thank you to Telesthesia for spending time helping me with this chapter. She kept it from being the complete mess it was headed towards being. *claps* You're beautiful and wonderful darling, never stop spreading your magic over the world.
> 
> Secondly, OH MY GOSH OKAY SO I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU GUYS!! *pretends to be all mean and tough* If you're gonna do fan art, why wouldn't you leave a comment saying you did it!! （＞Ц＜●）I found, like, two new pieces of fan art for this story on Tumblr and no one even told me!! Telesthesia had to send one of them to me because I never search tags or anything there! They're super good and no one even told me *is sad* I just want to be able to give you all the love and credit that you deserve, all you gotta do is leave me a link to it in the comments!! 
> 
> The first one is by Daokomoon right here --> https://daokomoon.tumblr.com/post/169319042213/based-in-the-stick-of-truth-and-inspired-by-the Seriously, this picture is so adorable and it made my heart melt. I mean I know that there's no way I can put that into the story right now, but I wish so hard because it's so CUTE!! It looks like Craig's gonna kiss Tweek and it makes me wish I could get to Tweek x Craig already!
> 
> The second is by Splatter-pop and it damn near killed me. You all know I'm weak for that scene where Tweek tells Craig never to fight his fights again. It's so gut-wrenching and it kills me and UGHHHH This picture just encapsulates all of those emotions perfectly. -->http://splatter-pop.tumblr.com/post/169066637394/based-off-of-a-pretty-damn-good-fanfiction-ive You need to look at it, it's a crime if you don't.
> 
> So yeah, before I let you read, I just want to say one more time that if you've done art, please please please tell me!! I love this stuff and I'm bad about finding things if people don't tell me about them. 
> 
> But enough of me talking.
> 
> Enjoy.

He’d known it was a trap.

He’d  _ known _ it was a trap! It wasn’t some way for him to feel better about what happened, blaming other people, no, Tweek had known the whole mess was going to end up being a trap the moment they’d stepped into that stupid plaza and he’d been right. No, he’d known it was going to end up being a trap from the moment that Craig suggested that it was. The idea had lodged in his brain and call in fatalism or whatever you want, but he’d  _ known _ they were walking right into a trap.

_ And now Craig is gone. _

Quite possibly the worst part of it all was that Tweek had seen it in Craig’s eyes, the fact that he thought it was a trap as well. They’d both been  _ ready _ for a surprise attack, they’d been waiting for it! It was entirely expected, and yet they’d  _ still _ gotten jumped like they were a couple of green warriors seeing their first battle. Even after they could see their enemies, they hadn’t been able to win.

_ And now Craig is gone. _

Who would have even thought that the girls of all people would join the game and then be that good at fighting? Tweek hadn’t expected it. Seeing Red hadn’t even triggered his paranoia. Since when did girls want to join a fantasy game!? And for that matter, how was it fair to have them around when they were all wielding dangerous weapons that could hurt people? Tweek wasn’t going to hurt a girl! That was wrong, right?

_And now Craig is gone._ _Craig is gone and it’s all my fault because I should have known what was happening and I should have fought the girls harder so they couldn’t carry him away and I should have protected him instead of letting him get torn to shreds. He was bleeding all over and being dragged away by the girls and I couldn’t even do anything!! I couldn’t even follow him and I lost the girls and now I can’t do anything and CRAIG IS GONE!!!_

“AUGH!!!” Yanking on his hair, despite the way it made his injuries flare up with pain, Tweek tossed his head around, looking about the City Wok complex helplessly.  _ There’s no one! Nothing! They’re gone!! _ Everywhere he turned, all he found was more clean pavement that didn’t show footprints and more  _ nothing. _ The girls he’d been chasing had vanished, seemingly into thin air, taking with them any hope of finding Craig.  _ No no nonono why? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!? _

Shaking, Tweek crouched down on the ground, holding his head in his hands, trying to make his brain shut up. But he couldn’t! They had taken Craig and he’d been bleeding to death already! Everyone knew that the girls hated boys, why would they help him?! What if they questioned and tortured him?? What if Tweek never saw him again!? What if they killed Craig and then came and killed the rest of the Humans too? It was aLL TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!

He felt like his head was going to explode, though, for the life of him, Tweek couldn’t think of how that would make things any worse.  _ Why did they have to take him WHY!? _

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” At the sound of that voice, distorted through his screaming thoughts, Tweek slowly looked up, his expression nothing short of murderous. Shaking, he slowly stood up, even as he heard the same voice yell, “Hey! You’re a Human! This is Elven territory.”

“Th-they took Craig…” Tweek mumbled under his breath, twitching harder the longer the seconds dragged on.  _ He’s gone. The girls took Craig. They kidnapped Craig!! _ The pressure kept building in his head, it was too much. He couldn’t handle it!

“What are you mumbling about?” another Elf called. The addition of a new voice only made Tweek shake more violently. “Hey, Human! Get out!”  _ Get out?? But he’s already gone!! _

With a screech, Tweek spun and leaped at the Elves with a cry of, “HE’S GONE!!” Unable to even begin to defend themselves against him, the Elves could do nothing as Tweek swung his club, knocking one of them off his feet and tossing the other one back. “HE’S GONE THEY TOOK HIM!!” Leveling another vicious swing at the unfortunate Elves, Tweek hardly registered the sound of his club connecting with flesh. His vision was distorted, all he could see was the image of Craig getting dragged away and it made him want to  _ hurt something. _

The Elves were yelling something at him, but he couldn’t hear them anymore. All he could see was red. All he could hear was the screaming in his own head. An arrow hit him, but he couldn’t feel the pain anymore. With a roar, Tweek leaped at the blurs of green in his vision, laying into them with his weapons as he desperately tried to escape his own head.  _ THEY TOOK HIM HE’S GONE HE’S DYING HE’S DEAD JUST MAKE IT STOP!!!! _

Even though he couldn’t see anymore he just kept swinging, desperate to make it all stop.  _ Why did they take him?! Where did they take him!? WHY WON’T IT STOP??? _ He heard screaming but he couldn’t even tell if it was in his own mind or not. It was only once it stopped that Tweek realized it had been him. Falling to his knees as the weight of everything crashed down on him, Tweek shivered and trembled as the ground wavered in his vision. The Elves were gone, but so was any remaining idea of what was and wasn’t real.

Slamming his palms into his forehead, hardly caring when the blood on them got on his face, Tweek struggled to force his brain back into place.  _ They took him, he’s gone. They killed him, I got Craig killed. I couldn’t even catch the girls. I’m useless, I’m nothing, I’m worthless, I’m- _

_ Get up. _

Quick enough that his neck creaked, Tweek flung his head up, staring through the haze at a distorted and shimmering image. He couldn’t make it out, there was still too much static in his mind for anything to be clear, he was panicking too much to calm down, much less stand. But he knew that voice. He  _ knew _ that voice.

_ Pick up your weapons and get up. _

Scrambling around on the ground, Tweek’s fingers curled around the smooth handle of his club. At the feeling of that quickly cooling wood under his fingers, Tweek watched as his vision started to clear. Slowly, the sun started to brighten and the world ceased to look quite so red.

_ You’re alive, so get up and act like it. _

Twitching violently, Tweek blinked repeatedly as he looked up at that seemingly ever-present image of Craig. Injured and bloodied, the wavering apparition was standing above him, one of his knives drawn, a solid, stony expression on his face. Even though it wasn’t real, even though it was all in his head, Tweek could feel himself get to his feet, something in him resonating with the image.

_ You didn’t need me before, so fucking pull yourself together. _ Craig’s facsimile looked down at him as Tweek stood there, shaking and in pain. Even though he sounded mean, Tweek could hear that familiar strength and that unerring calm just under the surface. Clenching his fingers around the handle of his club, Tweek bit his already bleeding lip, holding back any number of things he wanted to say, to ask.

Because Craig was right, he’d done this for years before the boy had ever shown up.  _ It wasn’t like this, people weren’t dying. It was just me. I just had to keep me alive. _

_ Then keep yourself alive now, _ the image of Craig told him, his expression unchanging.  _ I’ll be fine. _ Though Tweek wanted to protest, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to come up with the words to fight his own mind. Instead, he just lifted his chin and dragged in a shuddering gulp of air that filled his lungs and drove out some of the fear that he was drowning in.  _ Good, _ Mental Craig said, and Tweek could have sworn that something brushed his cheek.  _ Now go. _

Without any real conscious direction from his mind, Tweek started to run. As his feet pounded against the pavement and his lungs started to burn with exertion, the blond tried to let all of the panic out before it killed him. He didn’t have time for one of his anxiety attacks, Craig was in danger of dying, he had to do something. Though he’d never managed to fight off one of his panic attacks before, he also hadn’t had one since Craig had become his friend.

As long as Craig was out there somewhere, he’d be fine. No, he  _ needed _ to be fine.

Skidding over icy pavement, Tweek kept running, passing through Elven territory and Human territory alike without thought. All that mattered was getting to Kupa Keep. Clyde and Token would be there, one of them would know what to do. They’d be able to save Craig where he couldn’t. He clung to those thoughts, along with the faint sound of Craig’s voice in his head telling him to keep moving.

He’d never thought about how big the Kingdoms of Zaron were until he was trying to get through them. Everything stretched and bent like it always did when he was on the verge of lapsing into a panic attack but he refused to stop running. He could collapse once he got there, he could crumble later but right now he  _ had _ to keep moving.

Darting through a street, Tweek was met with a flash of lights and the sound of screeching. Turning, he saw one of the monsters that had always scared him away from these things headed towards him. Without even giving it a second thought, Tweek danced around the roaring beast of metal and steel as he escaped its deadly path. He could hear the blaring of horns but he just clenched his teeth tighter and kept moving, unwilling to let it stop him.

Everything hurt, but he could hear Craig’s voice in his head, and that calm power was what carried him forward.

Just when he was sure his legs were going to give out on him, Tweek caught sight of the towers of Kupa Keep as they loomed large in his vision. Hardly even able to draw breath anymore, Tweek could do nothing but stumble forward and collapse to the ground outside of the kingdom’s walls. Vaguely, he could make out yelling and people around him, but all he could do was fight the feeling of something crushing his chest and preventing him from breathing.

_ You’re fine, you’re alive. _

As feeling started to return to his lungs, Tweek opened his eyes and stared up at the image of Craig before letting his lids close once more, unable to do more than pant heavily and twitch. Aware of someone trying to help him to his feet, Tweek did his best to cooperate, forcing aching legs to jolt into action once more, even though they protested his every step. Catching sight of a flurry of pink and purple and orange, Tweek felt some semblance of normality take away the panic still encroaching on his mind.

“-to him? Is he alright?” Tweek twisted his head in the direction of the voice, but he couldn’t make his sore throat answer the question.

“I don’t know! Tweekers just collapsed on the ground in front of the house~”

“Hang on, where’s Craig.”

“It’s Feldspar, Ryan.”

“What happened to ‘im? He’s all bruised an’ stuff!”

Voices around him beginning to blur into one, Tweek picked his head up and focused on the person directly in front of him. As the worried looking brunette threw Tweek’s other arm over his shoulder, the boy asked, “Teacup, what’s wrong?”

“Th-they took Craig,” Tweek croaked, looking up into Clyde’s brown eyes urgently as he tried to use whatever was left of his strength to communicate what was happening.

As he was guided over to the medical tent, Clyde asked, “Who took him? What are you-”

“THE GIRLS!” Tweek forced out, even though his voice cracked horribly halfway through. “Jesus,” he whimpered, shivering as Kenny and Clyde carefully sat him down. “H-he was bleeding out and th-they just took him and I could –ghn- I couldn’t do anything!” Reaching for his hair with aching limbs, Tweek clenched his hands in the tangled blond strands, unable to even pull without making it hurt worse.

“Tweeky, you’re not making sense,” Kenny said patiently. Now that he was sitting down, the world was starting to settle down for Tweek. While things came more into focus, Tweek struggled to take deep breaths. Turning around, Kenny put a hand to his mouth and yelled, “Scott! Be a dear and get a healing potion for Tweek!”

Still holding onto Tweek’s arm, Clyde shook the boy lightly and said, “What are you talking about Teacup, why are you talking about the girls?” Fighting the panic that wanted to rise up at the disbelief surrounding him, Tweek shook his head, forcing himself to keep calm enough to talk.

“Th-the threat! The attacks! It w-was the girls! They attacked us, we couldn’t-” Voice giving out, Tweek spent a moment coughing, even though it made his lungs burn, before talking again. “I couldn’t stop them. Th-they separated us and th-then they- They blindfolded Craig and- The girls, th-they- He’s-” As words failed him and the sudden urge to cry overcame him, Tweek could do nothing but press his trembling lips together and let Clyde wrap his arms around him in a hug.

Clenching his teeth to hold back the tears, Tweek kept muttering, “It’s all my fault,” as he shook and shivered. Wishing desperately that he could just make Craig reappear, Tweek found himself shaking in Clyde’s arms as Kenny kept yelling things at various people, no doubt trying to figure out what was going on. Beside him, someone was trying to offer him a healing potion but he couldn’t make his hands move. Nothing was working right.

Suddenly, a red cape swirled in his view and Tweek’s body started to glow with golden light as Token carefully pried Clyde away from him. Handing the healing potion to the worried looking brunette, the Cleric muttered a healing spell over Tweek, removing the worst of his injuries from the fight against the girls. As the healing potion was pushed into his hands, Token knelt down before Tweek and asked, “Are you alright Tweek?”

Letting the healing potion soothe his painful throat, Tweek nodded, even though he knew that he wasn’t okay and wouldn’t be until they did something about Craig. But Token nodded anyway, accepting his answer. “Now,” his brows furrowed as a dark look came over his face. “Are you sure that the girls attacked you?”

“Toke, come on, leave him alone,” Clyde insisted, frowning at his friend. “Teacup needs to rest right now, look at him.” Twitching, Tweek shook his head and pushed himself into a more upright position, trying to make his body cooperate with him.

“N-no! I have to tell the Grand Wizard!” Tweek insisted, his small hands grabbing for the edge of Token’s cape. There was no calming property to the red fabric, unlike when Craig’s weathered brown cloak touched him, Tweek’s shaking didn’t subside. But it did give him something to pull at as he desperately continued, “I swear! Ngh- It w-was the girls! Th-they attacked us Token! They took Craig! W-we have to-”

“Tweek, stop,” the boy ordered, getting to his feet. “Unless you know where he is, we can’t do anything.” Upon hearing those words, Tweek could feel his twitching start to worsen.  _ No, no they have to be able to do something!! We can’t just leave Craig there, he’s going to die, the girls are going to kill him!! _ Shaking his head violently, Tweek let out a soft whimper that prompted Clyde to put a hand on his arm.

“Token, th-they’re gonna kill him!” Tweek insisted frantically, reaching a hand for his hair before Clyde caught it and held it down so he couldn’t pull on his hair. Twitching horribly, the blond struggled weakly against the brunette’s hold as he pushed out, “He w-was bleeding and- and I don’t know where they t-took him and-”

“Tweekers, they’re not going to kill him.” Settling into Tweek’s vision in a cloud of sparkling skirts, Kenny took the remaining health potion from his hand and continued, “They would have killed him there if they were going to kill him at all. It’s going to be okay, I promise.” Tweek wished he could believe the Princess but the memory of Craig’s calm, bloody face kept creeping up.

“Why the  _ hell _ is everyone talking about the girls fighting as Warriors of Zaron?” At the sound of Cartman’s voice, Tweek’s head shot up and he started to scramble to get up once more, needing to explain himself.  _ But there’s no way he’ll listen to you!! What if he laughs?! What if he tells everyone to do nothing?! What if Craig dies?? _ Shaking those thoughts from his head, Tweek managed to push off the protesting Clyde as he scrambled to get to his feet.

“GRAND WIZARD!!” he all but screeched, despite his protesting throat. Holding out one of his bloody hands, Tweek stumbled over to Cartman, who was already staring at him. His arms were crossed and a vaguely displeased look was on his face, but Tweek refused to allow himself to be cowed by it. It wasn’t as if things could get any worse.

“Tweek, what the hell is all this supposed to be?” Cartman demanded, glaring down at the blond. As he stopped before Cartman, his whole body trembling, Tweek could only stand there as the boy continued, “I sent you and Feldspar to do a very simple thing and now you’re coming back and spreading fake tidings that the  _ girls _ are playing! What is that supposed to be?”

“B-but it’s true,” Tweek hurried to say as Clyde came up beside him, that same worried expression on his face. “Red showed up and then a bunch of other girls surrounded us and th-they just jumped us, man! Ngh- Oh Jesus, y-you have to believe me!!” In the face of Cartman’s continued skepticism, Tweek could feel himself start to break down.

“I don’t have to  _ do _ anything,” Cartman said stubbornly, crossing his arms. “This is completely ridiculous, there’s no way that Feldspar, a level nine Thief, could have been dragged away by the girls. He’s far too strong.” Squeezing his eyes shut to prevent himself from screaming, Tweek let Clyde pull him back as he forced his mind to calm down.  _ Why won’t he listen?? Why does he never listen?! Craig’s going to die!! _

“To be fair, oh Grand Wizard, it would make sense if it were the girls,” Kenny pointed out, floating up on Tweek’s other side. “Also, Tweekers isn’t the type of Berzerker to lie about something like this. I think you should take him seriously~” Opening his eyes and staring at the Princess, Tweek watched in amazement as Cartman huffed and looked at Kenny grudgingly.

“Lady McCormick, you are the fairest maiden in all the land, surely you can understand why it’s ridiculous to think that there are any girls who are more powerful than you,” Cartman attempted to argue, though he didn’t look like he believed himself. “Girls aren’t  _ allowed _ to be warriors of Zaron, you’re, like, the only one.”

_ NO, HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE THERE ARE MORE OF THEM!! _ Tweek tried to get back to Cartman, but Clyde pulled him away, dragging him over to where several other Human warriors had gathered. “Teacup, it’s not worth it,” Clyde was saying, getting in front of him so he couldn’t see Cartman or Kenny anymore. “You know the Grand Wizard is really stubborn.”

“He’s got a point,” Daniel pointed out, drawing Tweek’s attention. Crossing his arms, the level six Jew commented, “There’s no way he’s going to accept that there are girls in the game now. You know how he is.” Shivering, Tweek let out a whimper because  _ of course _ , he knew how Cartman was, but that didn’t stop him from being wrong.

“Is it true though, are there really girls playing?” Brandon asked, his eyes wide with wonder. “What did they look like?? Were they like Princess Kenny?”

Shaking his head helplessly, Tweek pushed out, “N-no! They were all in -ghn- f-flower armor and had sparkling shields and they were terrifying man!!” Looking up at Clyde, Tweek twitched hard and said, “Th-they  _ hate _ us! They hate humans!!” Shivering at the recollection, Tweek looked down at the snow-covered ground as he tried to keep his breathing even. “Oh god, they’re going to kill Craig!”

From behind Clyde, Tweek could hear Cartman insist, “Token, there is no way in  _ hell _ that there are girls playing this game. Pigs will fly before girls will ever be cool enough to play Warriors of Z-”

Whatever else he’d been about to say died in his throat. As the sounds of boys gasping echoed around him, Tweek peaked around Clyde as the brunette turned around and he too let out a sound of awe. All Tweek could do was struggle not to scream because there, walking into the kingdom of Kupa Keep like nothing could touch them, were six people. Five, whose armor glittered in the sun, and one who shone for an entirely different reason.

In the stunned silence, Kenny muttered, “Looks like we’re going to have to find some flying pigs now.”

There, looking battered but  _ okay _ was Craig. His cloak was fluttering around him and his vivid blue eyes were looking about the scene like he was searching for something. Whatever they were looking for though, the moment the landed on Tweek, they stayed there. Feeling his heart start hammering again like when he ran to the Castle, Tweek just stood there as the panic in his mind faded to nothing but a dull buzz.  _ He’s okay. He’s okay. Craig is okay. _

“What. The hell?” Cartman asked, his voice sounding strangely strangled as if he was choking on something.

Stepping forward, his gaze still never leaving Tweek, Craig stiffly said, “These are the Valkyries of Valhalla.” It was only now that Tweek managed to register the people that Craig had brought with him.

Around Craig, almost like an official entourage, stood five girls, all decked out in glittering and shining armor. At the head of them was Wendy, her shield and sword both bearing matching purple flowers. To her right stood Bebe. The girl’s long blond hair was fluttering behind her and her bow and quiver matched her red coat. To Wendy’s left, Annie stood proudly, one hand on the hilt of her sword, the other on her hip. Behind them, both Red and Heidi were watching the boys around them with cool, collected gazes. Eyes flying back to Craig, Tweek tilted his head in question, only to receive a small shrug as if he were just as clueless as the blond as to how five girls had gotten into their kingdom.

From beside Tweek, Clyde softly murmured, “Wow, they’re so…  cool…”

Stepping forward, Wendy lifted her chin and looked at the gathered boys coldly. “As the leader of the Valkyries, I would like to extend a hand of peace to the Humans of Kupa Keep. I hope that this marks the beginning of a profitable alliance between our factions.” Turning to Cartman, the girl stiffly said, “Because if it does not, the girls will have no choice but to join with the Elves and destroy you.”

In the silence, Kenny asked, “So… Does that mean we get our Thief back?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE NEXT CHAPTER IT'S GOING TO MAKE YOU LAUGH SO HARD YOU WILL C R Y.
> 
> So the general consensus I've found is that, yes indeed, people on the internet can be scary XD It seems like lots of you have had the same kind of experience I have. I'm so sorry if you have! It's super uncomfortable, isn't it? Like no matter how many times you say no, they just keep coming after you.
> 
> After getting several comments about this, I've decided that I need to leave this open to another question. The whole SoT plotline has gone on for a long time. It's still got a ways to go, even though I'm closing in on the end. The original plan was to do Phone Destroyer after that, but the fact of the matter is that if I do, that's going to be that much longer before Tweek x Craig happens and they finally get together.
> 
> The long and the short of it is, do you want Phone Destroyer to be part of this story, or do you want me to press on ahead to Tweek x Craig and leave Phone Destroyer to become a side story where I can really give it the attention it deserves? It's up to you. I'll take a popular vote and decide, let's say, by the next different perspective? So everyone can have time to vote. I'm willing to give you whatever you want, so why not let you guys decide.
> 
> But that's enough of me talking. See you tomorrow~!


	57. The Exact Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured this would be the consensus, so I'm glad I asked. You guys have spoken, Phone destroyer is either going to come after Tweek x Craig and the Fractured But Whole, or I'll designate an entirely different story to it. We need these boys together as soon as possible, this torture has gone on long enough.
> 
> On a more positive side, let's be glad I got a chapter done today because I was feeling horribly unmotivated until, like, seven tonight XD
> 
> Enjoy.

Craig hadn't even realized how much he'd needed to see Tweek until the moment that he was standing in front of him.

It wasn't like he was clingy, Craig hated the idea of being anything of the sort, but it was one thing to peacefully say goodnight to the boy after an afternoon spent playing together, and it was another to be brutally ripped from him by two girls whose goal was to shove him blindfolded into a car. This was something that he was not used to and he didn't  _like it at all._  So even though he'd done his best to barter with the girls, the only reason he'd tried at all was that the sooner he got out of there, the sooner he'd be able to get back to Tweek. Or find him. Or pull him out of the corner of his room if he had to.

Whatever the method of getting there, the goal had been Tweek. Whether he'd been aware of it at the time or not. And maybe he'd deny that he needed the boy quite that much, maybe he would do his best to forget about this moment and others to come that were like it so he wouldn't have to face reality. But no matter what he said to the contrary, it was always Tweek.

So the moment Kenny spoke and the tension at least broke somewhat, it was all Craig could do not to run to the blond, who struggled past Clyde so he could get to him. Despite the fact that they were technically in a tense situation, Craig could honestly care less about what Cartman and Wendy were talking about. All that mattered was the way Tweek whimpered out his name as Craig grabbed the shorter boy in a hug. Distantly, Craig wondered if it was his heart beating that fast or Tweek's. In the end, he was pretty sure it didn't make a difference.

"Jesus man," Tweek squeaked out, his whole body trembling visibly as Craig clung to the boy like he'd vanish if he didn't keep ahold of him. "I thought –ghn- th-they'd killed you!" Hearing that just made Craig hang on tighter, because if he hadn't already felt like shit for leaving Tweek then this made everything ten times worse.  _I'm surprised he's still in one piece._

"I thought the girls might've really hurt you," Craig admitted quietly, the words mumbled into Tweek's fluffy blond hair. "They said they'd dealt with you but I didn't know what that meant." Tweek twitched hard at those words, which made Craig almost snort softly. Pulling back slightly, he reached up a gloved hand and carefully combed through Tweek's hair until he stopped shaking quite so badly. It took a while, and Craig didn't want to think what that meant for the boy's mental state, but he elected to ignore it.

Disentangling himself from Craig's tunic, Tweek stared up at him with wide green eyes and squeaked, "I'm just g-glad you're in one piece." Craig was glad too, but he sensed that it meant a whole lot more to Tweek, who had probably spent the last hour or so thinking Craig was dead.

"You know I wouldn't let them do that dude," Craig reassured the boy, stepping back just enough so that Tweek could grab the cover of his cloak and pull it around his slim shoulders so he could huddle up against the Noirette. "I was gonna come back eventually." As he walked over to Clyde, who seemed to be entirely transfixed by something, Craig continued, "They're just girls."

"They're vicious!" Tweek insisted, shuddering again. Wrapping his arm around the boy, Craig let out a hum of agreement, even though he wasn't about to say anything out loud. "Th-they just dragged you off and I thought –ngh- that I'd never see you again! It was really scary." Craig could hear the stress that Tweek put on the words and it made him feel that much worse. After all, it wasn't fair to Tweek to put him through something like that and it had been cruel of the girls to expect him to handle it.

He was just about to say as much, when a voice from behind him tentatively said, "Tweek?" Turning his head, feeling Tweek jolt against him, Craig found Bebe standing there, a concerned look on her face. "Tweek, please?" At that apparently magic word, Tweek nervously peaked his head out and looked at Bebe, who tucked her hair behind her ear so she could give him a truly apologetic look.

"Rrr- What?" Tweek asked, twitching against Craig. Keeping his arm around the boy, the Noirette turned more so they were facing Bebe. From the corner of his eye, Craig noticed the awe-struck look on Clyde's face but dismissed it in favor of paying attention to Tweek, and by some extension Bebe.

Looking relieved that Tweek was talking to her, Bebe gave Tweek that same calming smile she'd given Craig earlier and said, "Look, I just wanted to say I'm really really sorry for Craig getting dragged away like that. I don't think the other girls understand that you two are…" She spent a moment searching for an appropriate word before settling on, "They don't get how close you two are. They just think all boys are the same."

Blinking slowly, like a new doe first exposed to light, Tweek smiled uncertainly and shivered before mumbling, "It's f-fine." Craig didn't agree with this statement because the whole thing had most definitely not been fine, but if Tweek was okay with it then he was going to follow suit. Twitching hard, Tweek gnawed on his lip for a moment before blurting out, "God! Just –ghn- d-don't do it again!" Seemingly satisfied he'd said his part, Tweek tugged Craig's cloak around his shoulders more firmly and went back to staring at the ground.

As if Tweek's acceptance of her apology actually made her feel better, Bebe fixed the two of them with a sweet smile and said happily, "Trust me, if any of the other Humans are anything like Craig, we won't be fighting you guy for long. He totally won over most of the other girls, it's pretty much just Wendy who isn't convinced." From behind her, Craig watched as Cartman said something to Wendy, causing the girl to pretty much throw the fatass to the ground so she could yell something back.

"Good luck," he muttered, his free hand somehow finding Tweek's hair again, even though the boy wasn't actively freaking out. It was enough to cause him momentary confusion, but Craig didn't much like being confused, so he decided to just go with it.

"Yes, well…" Sighing, Bebe turned, no doubt looking for Wendy, only to stop and her eyes to widen as she caught sight of Clyde. He's pretty much been standing there dumbly for the past few minutes with the stupidest look on his face that Craig had ever seen, but the moment Bebe looked at him, he animated once more and snapped his mouth closed and even managed a natural looking smile. Trying to make sense of what he was looking at, Craig could only watch as Bebe blinked once before exclaiming, "Clyde!"

"Hey," the brunette answered, though his voice sounded a little fainter than usual. His eyes were all but shining as he stared at Bebe, leaving Craig to wonder if something was wrong with him. If Tweek's muffled yelp was anything to go by, Craig wasn't the only one thinking that something was amiss.

"Listen-" Pulling the hair that she'd tucked behind her ear back out so she could tug on it absently, Bebe awkwardly said, "Um… How's your head?" Like with Tweek, the girl sounded genuinely concerned, leading Craig to believe that she honestly meant it when she acted worried.

"Oh! Yeah, that," Clyde said, rubbing the back of his head as if trying to remember what had happened. It took Craig a moment to remember himself, but then Tweek tugged on his tunic and he remembered what it was.  _Oh yeah, some girl shot him in the head with an arrow, didn't they?_  A second after Craig recalled it, Clyde seemed to remember it as well. "Oh, you know, it was just one arrow."

In a rush, Bebe said, "I'm really sorry about that. That was my arrow! I swear I wasn't aiming for your head or anything but you just happened to move and I couldn't do anything!" Tugging on her hair harder, rather like Tweek did when he was nervous, the girl said, "Honestly, I don't usually go on missions like that but this time I did and I guess I'm not as good at archery as the other girls tell me. It makes it harder when the target is moving, you know?" Suddenly, Craig got the weird sensation that Bebe was babbling.  _I didn't know she could do that…_  It was especially weird, considering her and the other girls still looked like the most powerful people in the yard.

"No, it's fine!" Clyde quickly insisted, actually managing to laugh. His hand fell from his hair as he said, "I'd say that makes you a really good shot, wouldn't you? Heck, most of the Humans can't shoot like that and I bet we've had more practice than you." At those words, Bebe tucked her hair back behind her ear and stood up straighter so she could laugh.

"Come on! I always thought the Humans were cooler than the Elves," she insisted, her face brightening into a dazzling smile, one which made Craig feel like he needed to look away or risk being blinded.  _Jesus, girls are so weird…_  "I mean we all know Wendy likes the Elves better, and a lot of the girls don't like you guys because you're fighting with Cartman, but I still think that it doesn't really matter. He's just your leader, I'm sure you had a bunch of other reasons for going with him other than siding with Cartman for the sake of siding with him."

"Yeah!" Clyde was quick to agree, grinning from ear to ear. "Not all of us Humans are like Cartman, he's kind of a dick, to be honest." Bebe giggled at that, her posture relaxing as she did. From under Craig's cloak, Tweek let out one of his high-pitched giggles as well, which drew Craig's eyes. Looking down at the boy, the Noirette raised an eyebrow, only to get a twitch and a grin from Tweek, who seemed to be doing much better than before.

"I know!" Bebe exclaimed, her eyes wide. "That's what I keep trying to tell the girls but they-"

Before she could finish, Wendy's sharp voice cut through their conversation like a knife. "Bebe! Get over here! What are you doing, talking with the  _boys?"_  She said boys like it was a dirty word. After spending time with the girl, Craig knew for a fact that Wendy really did see it as something filthy. It was almost amusing because she seemed rather attached to Stan Marsh.

Turning her head sharply, Bebe called, "Of course Wendy! Sunshine sparkle!" Turning back to Clyde, Bebe sighed and said, "Sorry, I'm not really supposed to be chatting with you guys." Giving them all one last beaming smile, the girl quickly hurried over to Wendy's side, who had already gathered the other girls to her. Currently, Wendy was talking to Kenny, who was twirling a piece of his hair between thumb and forefinger while he chatted with them.

"Wow…" Clyde said softly, staring after Bebe with badly concealed wonder. "Can you believe it, Craig?" Not really sure what he was supposed to be unable to believe, Craig rolled his eyes and ignored his friend, who wasn't making much sense at that moment. He was tempted to ask Clyde if he was having a stroke, but that would probably only freak Tweek out, and he didn't really want to risk the blonde's sanity.

So instead he bluntly stated, "Dude, she's a girl."

"I  _know,"_  Clyde agreed as if this somehow held all the secrets to the universe.

Deciding that he'd had enough of Clyde's weirdness, Craig wandered closer to where the girls and Kenny were talking, mostly so he'd have something to do. Of course part of him kind of still wanted to take Tweek back to his house so the boy would warm up and calm down just that much more and maybe while they were at it they could play with Stripe. But the rest of him knew this was highly illogical so he should really stop thinking like that.

"Okay, but your leader is still a sexist pig and I'm not listening to him if this is all I'm going to get!" Wendy was exclaiming, waving around her hand in irritation as Kenny cooed at her sympathetically, much like Annie had cooed over the phone. "He's horrible, and the whole reason I  _didn't_  want an alliance with you people in the first place!"

"I know, I know he's horrible," Kenny agreed in his perfect falsetto, entirely ignoring Cartman's cry of indignation. "We're not all like that Wendy, it's just the Grand Wizard. Honestly, I think this alliance will be very beneficial for both of our sides!" Giggling, the boy added, "And may I just say your armor looks positively stunning on you!"

"Oh, well~" Looking a little off-put by this, as if unsure whether to be flattered because Kenny was a girl in-game, or angry because he was still technically, to the best of anyone's knowledge, a boy in real life. "I know that not everyone is like him. Craig was very polite, actually."

Looking surprised, which made Craig furrow his brows and give Kenny an irritated look, the Princess trilled, "Feldspar was well-behaved? Oh my, well isn't that just wonderful! It's good to see that him and Tweek spending time together has paid off!"

Letting out a shrill shriek, Tweek twitched hard and demanded, "Gha! W-what's that supposed to mean?!" Nodding in agreement, Craig glared more pointedly at Kenny and flipped the boy off, which only made him hide a giggle behind one dainty hand as he waved them both off. Giving up on flipping Kenny off in favor of fluffing Tweek's hair till the boy calmed down, Craig kept glaring at Kenny until Wendy interrupted.

"Well, Craig- Ah, I mean, Feldspar said that you'd be able to give us what we wanted." Having recovered quickly, Wendy tipped her chin up and looked down at Kenny, though her glare wasn't nearly as ferocious when she was facing the Princess as it was when she was dealing with anyone else. "Because if you don't, we might as well side with the Elves and wipe you out. At least  _their_  leader knows manners!"

"Hey! Kyle is nothing but a dirty rotten Jew and you know it!" Cartman snapped, clearly furious about being compared to the redhead. Predictably, both Kenny and Wendy ignored the boy. Rolling his eyes, Craig decided that there was really nothing of use here either. He would have walked away, but Kenny looked at him with a mischievous smile and he realized that he wasn't getting out of this so easily.

"Of course we can give you what you want~" Kenny all but sang, fluttering his fingers. "We are mere humans but we are not without agency you know!" When Wendy nodded grudgingly, Kenny grinned happily, as though this was the best possible answer. "I would say we should discuss terms right now, but I fear it is getting late and we will need more time to talk this through." Several of the other girls nodded at this, seemingly convinced that it was too late to be doing anything more.

"But we have to solve this soon," Wendy said sternly, crossing her arms and sniffing. "Feldspar might have convinced us to stop the attacks on the Humans for now, but my patience will wear thin very quickly if a more permanent agreement is not come up with forthwith." Nodding in agreement, Kenny put on a properly serious face, as if anyone believed for a second that he really cared about what was happening.

"I  _completely_  understand," he assured the girl, looking at all the other girls as well, who were all quite a bit more uncertain about him than Wendy. "You really are too kind to withdraw the attacks, we hardly deserve your good grace. You are such a very wise leader, unlike a certain Wizard I could name." All of the girls gathered giggled at that as if gossip were the one thing that put them at ease. Even Wendy managed to crack a smile at that.

"Well, if all of the Humans were like you Princess, then maybe we would be fighting together instead of against each other," Wendy said, at last, her voice still sounding a little stiff but a whole lot less hostile. "If we could schedule a date for the peace talks, that would be wonderful."

"Considering Christmas is coming up, I would suggest a day after the holiday," Kenny said brightly, smiling in Craig's direction. "In fact, I'm sure that Tucker and I could both attend unless of course, you'd like to deal with someone else instead. Whoever would be the least offensive to you, of course, would be the best, yes?"

Nodding absently, Wendy agreed, "Well, I guess Feldspar has already seen our base, so it can't do much more damage. And you're a girl, so you're allowed in, technically." Several of the girls let out sounds of protest, to which Wendy whirled around and said, "Lady McCormick says that she's a girl so you will treat her like a girl! We have to be understanding to  _all_  girls, alright?"

As all the girls made various sounds of defeat and acquiescence, Kenny turned to Craig and Tweek and softly said, "Well Fucker, looks like you've got your marching orders. I'll send you a carrier Raven with the exact time once Wendy and I have agreed on something." When Tweek let out a squeak from under Craig's cloak, Kenny looked at the boy and commented, "Aww, look at you Tweekers, happy you have your Thief back?"

"JESUS, W-WHY ARE YOU ASKING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!" Tweek screeched, shaking against Craig. As Kenny laughed and Craig glared at the boy, Tweek simply drew Craig's cloak around his shoulders and hid his face in Craig's side, making sounds of mental pain in the process.

Tired of things stressing Tweek out, Craig flipped Kenny off once more and said, "I'm leaving." He didn't leave it open for someone to stop him, he wasn't going to put up with any more of Kenny's shit. His shit, or anyone else's for that matter. Deciding the subject was closed, Craig turned around and pulled Tweek with him, headed for the gap in Cartman's gate, too lazy to walk through the boy's house again. As soon as they were out of the yard, Tweek let go of Craig's cloak and put some distance between them so he could simply keep a hand clenched around the hem as he trailed behind the Noirette.

Craig wasn't about to say that he missed Tweek's familiar twitching presence pressed against his side because he most certainly didn't. That would be mildly weird and Craig wasn't that clingy.

As they walked the long way around the houses, trudging through the snow as they so often seemed to do these days, Tweek let out a soft sound and finally asked, "S-so how did you get them to let you go?"

Tilting his head, Craig furrowed his brows because to be honest he still wasn't sure how he'd pulled it off. One moment, he'd been facing the prospect of being butchered by pink for not saying the right thing, the next all the girls had been giggling and whispering about how awesome the Humans were. "I don't know," he admitted, stuffing his hands back into his pockets, thankful that they'd given his knives back eventually before letting him go.

"But you said something to them, right man?!" Tweek asked, sounding worried, almost like the idea of Craig talking to the girls was stressing him out. "Jesus, y-you can't just flip people off and expect things to happen!" Snorting, because of course, Tweek  _would_  guess right that Craig had flipped the girls off several times, Craig turned around so he could look at the blond.

The boy's eyes were wide and worried, though that was something that Craig could look past at this point. Right now, it was the way those orbs looked like they were glittering that caught Craig's attention. Far more than even the sun on the snow, which glowed pretty fucking brightly in his opinion, Tweek's green eyes looked like lamps. Just like always.  _Just like always…_  Shaking himself out of the trance he'd managed to put himself in, Craig finally said, "I didn't just flip them off."

Hurrying to catch up so he was walking next to Craig, Tweek shivered and grabbed for his small thermos as he asked, "Ngh- Th-then what!?" He tipped it back and drank probably the rest of it in one go, though Craig didn't blame him in the slightest. They had been through a lot. Coffee was the least of the things that Tweek desperately needed at that moment.

Shrugging, Craig admitted, "I told them that Cartman was a dick and that I didn't give a fuck what they did to him. I also told them that we'd be able to get them anything, and if we didn't they could just destroy us because Cartman deserved it anyway."  _And I said that all I cared about was getting back to you…_  But Craig was actively trying to forget that he'd said that part out loud, so he didn't repeat it.  _Fuck it, I meant it didn't I? There's nothing wrong with it._

Tweek giggled, which made Craig smile even though he felt like he had a lot on his mind. "I don't know how that convinced them, b-but I'm glad they didn't kill you, man." Sensing the remaining nervous energy behind those words, Craig reached out a hand and ruffled Tweek's hair, enjoying the way the boy let out a soft, contented sigh when he did.

"I'm glad they didn't too," Craig agreed. Letting his hand slip from Tweek's hair, he contented himself with walking beside the blond boy, happy to be quiet. Besides, the peace was his favorite sound of all. Well, quiet, mixed with Tweek's little sounds that made the twitchy boy the spaz he was. It kept that smile on Craig's face, even though he had no reason to be so stupidly happy.

As they reached the street and Craig walked over to the crosswalk, not wanting to freak Tweek out by trying to cross at a random spot, the Noirette realized Tweek was fidgeting an unnecessary amount with the lid of his thermos. Furrowing his brows, Craig stared at the boy, trying to think of what could have made the boy nervous this time. When nothing came to mind, Craig nudged the boy's shoulder, which made Tweek let out a soft yelp.

"What's up dude?" Craig asked easily, looking both ways before catching Tweek's hand in his own so he could walk the boy across the street. Left without a hand to mess with his thermos, Tweek let out a soft whine. The moment they reached the other side, Craig looked down at the boy and waited patiently for Tweek to say something.

Abandoning his thermos in favor of tugging lightly at his hair, Tweek twitched hard before suddenly blurting out, "Yes!"

Tilting his head, unwilling to admit that he had no fucking clue what the shivering blond was talking about, Craig tried to remember if he'd asked a question recently that Tweek might be answering, other than the one he'd just asked. Tugging at his chullo with his free hand, Craig was about to ask what Tweek was talking about when the blond suddenly yelped, "OH JESUS, I MEAN WHAT YOU ASKED ABOUT CHRISTMAS!"

Suddenly remembering, Craig's eyes widened. With all the drama that had been happening, he'd almost entirely forgotten about the matter of Tweek being all alone for Christmas. Shivering, the boy muttered, "I m-mean, I don't know why you'd want me around, but –ngh- I'll come."

Feeling that something that had been bothering him all day settle into place, Craig gave a firm nod. "Good."

And it was, and he suddenly felt a whole lot better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, but seriously though, if someone will draw me a picture of Clyde staring at Bebe like she's the fucking sun, I will not only love you forever, but I will write you a one-shot of your specifics and/or an extra chapter of this. Because seriously, I need that picture in my life. There's no time to explain, but I _need_ it.
> 
> Also, rip Craig's heterosexuality. From the moment he saw Tweek, he was gay forever.


	58. A Lonely Christmas, Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy...
> 
> Okay, every time I think "hey, this is a good idea!" I end up realizing that I've made a terrible (or wonderful) mistake. I asked for, like, one drawing of Clyde and Bebe because I thought that if I was lucky, y'all would maybe give me a sketch or something I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE FLOOD OF ART I GOT ARE YOU PEOPLE EVEN HUMAN??
> 
> Oh man, the first two pieces of art are by Mianewarcher. This first [one](https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169427333645/httparchiveofourownorgworks12739188chapters) is of Clyde and Bebe talking, naturally. It's so adorable because they're all aged up and they look like it's a real AU instead of just a game. I like to think it's what Tweek sees when he's playing the game. The best part by far though is the look on Craig's face. You can practically hear him thinking "Wtf are you doing Clyde, why are you talking to a girl?"  
> "I'm too gay to understand this."
> 
> The second is of the scene where the girls first come in and they're all dressed in their armor looking badass and shit. I love everything about this piece, especially how cool Tweek and Craig both look in it. My precious bois, they grow up so fast. -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169433084955/teamalphaq-fic-semantically-challenged-chap-57-on<\-- What really sold me though was Cartman's expression. He's so horrified, like "Wtf are girls doing in my game!"
> 
> The next one was done by Putkbum from chapter 45, when Craig and Tweek were sitting in the tree making nice after having their first fight. I love how vast the forest looks and how tiny they are sitting up there together. It's adorable and really beautiful. I just adore this sort of aesthetic, of being very small compared to how big the world is. XD -->https://putkbum.tumblr.com/post/169422202516/two-boys-sitting-in-a-tree-it-took-me-2-months<\-- really though, check it out!
> 
> The fourth (wowow) is done by our darling Jinclair! It's another one of Bebe and Clyde, though I love this one especially because of the starstruck look in Clyde's eyes. Like you can definitely tell that he's head over heels and Bebe looks so cute in her flower armor, talking to Tweek and Craig. And don't get me started on the fact that Tweek is hiding under Craig's cloak! Ugh, there's just so much adorable. -->https://twitter.com/casuallysleepy/status/949941698301378562
> 
> The fifth was done by No1sKing49~ It's a really sweet little sketch of Bebe asking Clyde if his head is okay and Clyde basically giving gibberish as an answer. Can you really blame him? He's face to face with a powerful and beautiful woman. I would be speechless too XD -->https://imaginarylasers.tumblr.com/post/169435218324/more-for-semantically-challenged<\-- As an added bonus, if you needed one, there's also a drawing of Tweek and honestly, he looks so cool!! Like oh man, I wish I could look that cool with my shirt off and coffee all over me XD
> 
> The last one was done by Ha_Xici and it's mostly of Bebe just being adorable and awesome and Bebe. I love it though. I have quite a few plans for her character so I hope you don't mind her being around. Anyway, the picture's made even better by the fact that Clyde's behind her looking absolutely overcome by her beauty and it makes me giggle. Sweet little sunchild, you have no idea who you're falling for XD -->https://kenny-my-son.tumblr.com/post/169449498890/when-ur-crush-smiles-at-u-and-ur-just-in-love
> 
> I just want to say that I'm so blessed and honored that you're all my readers. I mean, I have no idea how I keep convincing you all to stick around and yet you're always here, so I guess I don't have to worry about it. However this story goes, I just want to make all of you smile. It would be a small thing compared to how many reasons you all give me every day to just get out of bed and keep living, even one more day.
> 
> So yeah, thank you.
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek really should have brought a coat.

Currently, he was shivering uncontrollably as he stood in front of Craig's door, his hand still raised in the effort to knock, even though he still hadn't worked up the courage to do anything. For someone who usually ran around in a Manbearpig pelt and jeans in this weather without showing the effects, Tweek certainly wasn't doing well right now. Of course usually, he was moving a lot more. He'd been standing outside of Craig's house for ten minutes now, not having moved an inch in that entire length of time, apart from the twitching.

It wasn't that he was nervous about Craig's house, goodness knew he spent enough time over here that it didn't matter anymore, but it still made him scared. It was hardly even noon, he couldn't imagine why Craig would actually want to see him on Christmas. He'd skipped the original time Craig had asked him to come because there was no way he was going to be here at eight to open presents with his family. That was a family time, he couldn't just invade it. It made him feel horrible to even contemplate it.

But he'd finally convinced himself to go, figuring that if he didn't, Craig would think something was wrong.  _Jesus, I don't want that!_  Giving another convulsive shiver, Tweek stared at the coffee colored house and let out a whimper. His arm was honestly starting to hurt. Maybe he should just go home. Craig would understand, right? It was Christmas, which meant it was a family time. Craig didn't really want him around; the boy was just being nice. Tweek had only agreed out of some naïve hope that he wouldn't have another sad, lonely Christmas. That was all.

Clenching his teeth together hard enough that the creaked, Tweek couldn't help but let out a frustrated scream as he pulled his hand away from the door so he could tug at his hair. He hadn't even brought his coffee! Why hadn't he done that?! Now he had nothing but frozen fingers and a broken promise to Craig.  _God, what if he hates me?! What if I get frostbite and he laughs because he thinks I deserve it?! What if I get thrown out of the game because no one wants a barbarian with no fingers or toes and Craig never talks to me again? JESUS, I DON'T THINK I COULD HANDLE THAT!_

Shaking his head, wishing he could scream again, Tweek was about to turn around and run away from the door when there was the sound of footsteps from behind it. Letting out a shriek, Tweek could do nothing but tumble over backward as the door was flung open by none other than Ruby Tucker. As his head connected with the pavement and his head spun, Tweek whimpered softly, unable to see straight. From somewhere above him, he heard Ruby yell, "HEY CRAIG! TWEEK'S HERE!"

Unable to quite make the girl come into focus, Tweek let out an involuntary sound as his head throbbed with pain and his body shook and trembled, courtesy of snow that was heaped around the walkway. "You didn't need to fall over," the girl commented, sounding irritated. "I just opened the door." When Tweek did nothing but moan in pain, Ruby said, "That's what happens when you hit your head on icy concrete. Maybe you should remember that for next time."

"Ruby, kindly fuck off." At the sound of that familiar flat voice, Tweek opened his eyes once more to find Craig looming over him. The boy's brows were furrowed, and immediately, Tweek opened his mouth to attempt to excuse the fact that he hadn't come over earlier, but Craig cut him off by saying, "Your hands are blue." Looking at them, Tweek let out a screech because  _oh god, that meant they were going to fall off!_

Letting out a short breath, the tall boy stooped down and physically scooped Tweek up like he didn't weigh a thing. Ignoring Ruby, who stared at her brother and Tweek like they were from another planet, Craig carried the boy inside. Shivering in Craig's warm arms, Tweek twitched hard and decidedly curled up against the boy's chest instead of fighting to free himself. Honestly, he was too cold for something like that.

As they walked through Craig's house, Tweek noticed Craig's mom, looking at them like she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do, and Red, who glanced over only to roll her eyes and look back down at her phone.  _Oh god, what are they thinking? I bet they think I'm pathetic and disgusting! Just because I am doesn't mean they have to think it!_  Squawking, Tweek suddenly yelped out, "JESUS! I CAN –GHN- WALK ON MY OWN!"

"No you can't," Craig informed him evenly, his expression just as deadpan as ever. Twitching hard, unsure how he was supposed to respond to something like that, Tweek let out a whimper, staring at Craig with wide green eyes. Raising an eyebrow, Craig kept walking towards the stairs, entirely ignoring the rest of his family. Unable to keep himself from wiggling nervously in Craig's arms, Tweek almost managed to get himself dropped down the stairs before Craig got a more secure hold on him.  _Oh god, I look so stupid…_

"How was your Christmas?" Craig asked conversationally, making Tweek shiver and look at him in terror once more. He wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, especially because he knew that he'd promised Craig he'd be there earlier and then he hadn't been there.  _Jesus, I hope he's not mad at me! He's mad, isn't he? I've made him really mad and now he's going to take me to his room and throw me out the window or something!_

"OH JESUS, DON'T THROW ME OUT THE WINDOW!" Tweek screeched, grabbing onto Craig's shirt and holding on tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. Even though his eyes were closed, Tweek could still feel the boy's eyes on him and it terrified him.  _I should have just come earlier, why didn't I do that!?_  As the sound of Craig's door being kicked open registered, Tweek started shaking harder, sure that he was about to be killed gruesomely for being such a horrible friend and not coming over when he said he would.

But a moment later, Tweek felt Craig's soft, space-themed comforter under his fingers and he opened his eyes tentatively to find Craig systematically untucking the corners of his sheets from his bed. Before Tweek could ask what the boy was doing, Craig was suddenly wrapping him up in his covers haphazardly, winding them around the boy until he looked more like a blob of soft than a person. Putting his hand on Tweek's head and ruffling the boy's hair, Craig calmly said, "I'm not going to throw you out the window, dude."

Shivering, Tweek looked up at Craig in fear and stammered, "S-so you're not mad at me?" Unable to believe it was true, the boy started twitching harder, shaking his head quickly as he tried to fight off the thoughts cramming themselves into his brain. "B-because I missed when I was supposed to come and –ngh- I said I'd be here and I wasn't and oh god, I f-feel horrible!"

Hand ceasing in his systematic hair ruffling, Craig stared down at Tweek with furrowed brows, causing the boy to whimper in fear.  _Oh god, I can't see what's going on in his head! Why is he looking at me like that!? I don't get it! I don't-_  Without any real warning, Craig plopped down next to Tweek on his bed and pulled the blanketed lump that was the blond against his chest, probably smothering himself. "It's fine Tweek, I'm not upset," the boy said calmly, his deep voice as soothing as ever.

Still shaking, Tweek looked up at Craig, only to find the boy was already looking at him. The calm acceptance in those eyes was enough to take the fear right out of Tweek's spine. Sagging against Craig suddenly, Tweek didn't much care when he fell into Craig's lap. Curling up there, feeling the weave of Craig's jeans press against his cheek, Tweek mumbled, "Okay, if you s-say so."

"So did you have a good Christmas?" Craig repeated, his fingers finding their place in Tweek's hair once again. Shivering, because there was something about Craig's warm hands coming through his cold hair that made Tweek feel weird in a weird way, the blond took a moment to answer. He wished he could say he'd had a good Christmas, but in reality, he'd spent most of the morning freaking out because the underpants gnomes had stolen half of his underwear in one night.

"Rrr- I g-guess," he mumbled, hiding his face in Craig's NASA tee-shirt. He didn't want to ruin Craig's Christmas by telling him about how miserable he'd been, freaking out about not going to the Noirette's house sooner, not daring to go downstairs for fear his parents would rope him into something else horribly insane. It hadn't been fun, not at all, but at least he was here now. This was way better than anything else he could have done all day, no matter how bad it had been before. Because at least Craig wasn't insane. At least the boy cared.

Hand pausing for a moment, buried deep in Tweek's messy, wild blond mane, Craig spent a moment just sitting there entirely still before continuing to comb his way through Tweek's snarls. "Mine was boring," the boy told Tweek, his flat tone leading Tweek to believe that Craig, unlike him, was telling the truth. "We sat around the tree. Ruby was an asshole. Red was a bitch. It would have been more fun if you'd been there."

Stomach rebelling, Tweek let out a groan and shivered against Craig. Even as the feeling returned to the rest of his body, Tweek still felt cold traveling down his spine. "That's your time t-to spend with your family!" the boy insisted, fisting his hands in the covers wrapped around him and pulling them closer to his face till they muffled his voice. "I couldn't –grr- just interrupt you like that!"

Again, Craig didn't answer for a long moment. Tweek nibbled his lip as the silence stretched on, but didn't freak out because he was still wrapped in Craig's blankets and Craig's hand was still in his hair so how bad could whatever Craig was thinking about be? Letting out a soft, involuntary sound as Craig tugged at his hair lightly, trying to remove a particularly irritating tangle, Tweek closed his eyes for the first time since the day before yesterday and almost started to relax. That's what Craig did to him, allowed him to slow down and just  _rest_  for a moment while the rest of his body caught up with his mind.

Quietly, Craig asked, "Did you know that Clyde's mom died when he was really young?" When Tweek only let out a  _Rrr_  of shock because  _why is he talking to me about something like this?_  Craig continued, "Yeah, he was six, I think." Tweek felt a knot build in his stomach at the thought. Clyde always acted so happy, you wouldn't have known his mom was dead if you looked at him. Deep down, Tweek had always wished he could be happy like that, but somehow he felt he hadn't earned that kind of carefree joy.

Clyde wasn't disgusting inside. Clyde didn't break promises with friends. Clyde had been through so much, so he deserved to be happy. Tweek didn't.

After a moment more of silence, Craig continued, "You know, that first Christmas his dad wasn't even home." As he spoke, Tweek's eyes opened so he could stare up at the Noirette. The boy was looking absently at Stripe's cage, a thing he often did when he wasn't sure what he was going to say next. Drawing in a deep breath, Craig muttered, "People said a lot of shit about him. It pissed me off."

Remembering what Clyde had told him about how Craig had stood up for him once when they were younger, Tweek felt something inside of him cry out because he would have bet anything that this had to do with that story. He wasn't sure why Craig was telling him this story. It was Christmas, not the time to be reliving sad memories, but he didn't dare interrupt. He just twitched in Craig's lap and waited for more.

"But that Christmas, and several others after that, he spent Christmas over here." Falling silent again, Craig muttered, "This is the first year he hasn't been over here since it happened. It's weird, not having him here." Shivering, Tweek wished he could just listen to the story and not feel like a piece of shit for making Craig sit through Christmas without him, even though he'd promised he'd be there. That was horrible of him, he was a monster for it.  _Jesus, why am I such a fuck up?_

"Ngh- Jesus man," Tweek mumbled, turning his eyes back to the bed so he wouldn't have to look at Craig's face. "I'm sorry." He wasn't even sure what he was apologizing for, all he knew was that he felt oddly guilty after hearing about what had happened. Like maybe he was trying to fill Clyde's shoes and doing a horrible job of it. He'd always known that Craig and Clyde were like brothers and this just sort of proved it.

"No, I'm glad," Craig commented unexpectedly, making Tweek jerk his head around so he could look up at Craig. "His dad is home, and he's having a good time." Looking down at Tweek, the boy frowned unexpectedly, before shifting Tweek off of his lap and getting to his feet.  _Oh god, I did something wrong, didn't I?_  As the boy walked over to the other side of the room, Tweek struggled to sit upright as he tried to figure out what he'd done wrong. There was no other explanation for why Craig would have just gotten up, right?

"Craig?" Tweek squeaked, looking after him worriedly as if waiting for the boy to explode at him or something. Instead, Craig just rifled through his drawer before pulling out something that the boy couldn't see. Walking back over to Tweek, Craig tugged on his chullo before shoving the thing at Tweek. Rolling backward with a shriek, the blond leaned away from the unknown object before opening his eyes and seeing what it really was.

Wrapped messily, with too much tape and probably not enough paper, was a present. There was no bow, no card, nothing that reminded Tweek of the numerous and uncomfortably perfect presents his parents had wrapped up under their tree. But because of that, Tweek found that it looked even more personal. Glancing from it to Craig and back again, Tweek let out a whimper and yelped, "B-but I- Why are you giving me something?!"

"Because I wanted to," Craig answered, instead of saying something that Tweek might have expected like 'it's Christmas' or 'because you're my friend'. Shivering, Tweek looked between the present and Craig once more, still unconvinced that this was really his.

"But –ghn- I never got you anything!" he insisted, shaking his head jerkily as he attempted to back up over the bed and only got his feet tangled in the covers wrapped around him. "Oh god, I'm so sorry!" Just like that, Craig lowered the present in favor of ruffling Tweek's hair. Now that it had been combed out, the sensation felt almost more soothing, enough so that he made a soft sound.

"It's okay dude," Craig told Tweek calmly, holding the present out again. "I just wanted to, you don't have to get me something back." Wiggling until he'd managed to free his hands from the blankets, Tweek awkwardly caught the present in one hand and struggled to undo the paper, mostly because it was more tape than paper at this point.

Finally managing to get it open, Tweek's eyes widened as the soft material of a shirt met his fingers. Even though it was definitely too big for him, Tweek unraveled it, curious as to what was on it. Once he'd finally turned it around and looked at the front, however, he let out a yelp and dropped it, scrambling away from it. "JESUS MAN WHY DID YOU GET SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!"

Looking confused and almost hurt, Craig picked up the shirt and looked at it. "Why not? I thought you'd like it." Shivering, Tweek shook his head hard enough that it pounded. Because why on earth would he ever want a shirt with  _aliens_  on the front of it!  _If they see it, they'll kill me for sure! Why would he get something like that?! Probably because aliens don't hurt him, so he doesn't know how dangerous it is. I thought I've told him though!_

"BECAUSE –GRRR- IT HAS ALIENS ON THE F-FRONT!" Tweek exclaimed, reaching up with his now free hands so he could tug on his hair hard and twitch harder. "Jesus, don't you kn-know they're gonna come for you if you have that! They d-don't want anyone to know they –ngh- exist!" Shaking harder, Tweek grabbed the comforter and yanked it up over his head, hiding him from the rest of the room.

Letting out a sigh, Craig walked forward and pulled back the blankets that were over Tweek's head, not so much prying them from the blonde's fingers as coaxing him to let go of them. Looking down at him with even, impossibly blue eyes, Craig calmly said, "Don't worry dude, it doesn't work like that." When Tweek twitched hard and tilted his head to the side in confusion, Craig explained, "It's like a shield, you know? They'll think you're their friend and they won't bother you if you have it on."

 _He… What?_   _Does it really scare off aliens?_ Blinking, still scared but already feeling that fear give way to wonder, Tweek stared up at Craig as the boy pulled down the brim of his chullo before adding, "But if you don't like it, you don't have to wear it…" Suddenly letting out a yelp, Tweek almost tumbled off the edge of Craig's bed as he rocked forward and hugged Craig's middle, as much to keep himself from falling as to make the boy stop looking quite so… upset.

"No!" he said fiercely, feeling Craig's hand awkwardly patting his back as the blond refused to let go.  _He got something like that for me! He knew that the aliens were after me so he got me something to protect me!_  Feeling his chest swell with emotion that he couldn't name, Tweek hurriedly continued, "Rrr!- I r-really like it! I'm sorry I didn't get you anything, I w-wish I could have gotten you something so amazing!"

Unexpectedly, Craig muttered, "Well, you're here, aren't you?" When Tweek drew back and looked up at the boy in confusion, Craig coughed and looked away.  _Oh Jesus is he okay!?_  Worried that Craig might be getting sick, Tweek attempted to leap up out of Craig's bed so that he could help. In the end, all he managed to do was pitch himself forward off the edge of Craig's bed. Before he could fall headfirst though, Craig's arm came around and caught him.

Setting him back upright, Craig cleared his throat and looked down at Tweek, who twitched and only then realized what the boy had said. Eyes widening, Tweek felt heat flood his cheeks for some confusing and entirely unknown reason. As Craig stared at him and his face only grew warmer, Tweek twitched hard and covered his face with his hands.  _Oh god, what if I have a fever! What if I'm sick and I pass it on to Craig!_

As he lay there on the bed, making pitiful noises as his chest kept getting tighter like his heart was going to burst and his face only grew hotter, Tweek was unsurprised to find Craig's hand in his hair. A moment later, the bed sunk a little as the boy sat down next to him and went back to playing with Tweek's hair, the new tee-shirt left on the other end of the bed forgotten. As his heart started to slow down and his face thankfully went back to a less alarming temperature, Tweek peaked from between his fingers so he could look up at Craig.

The boy honestly looked peaceful, like nothing in the world was wrong. Tweek wished he could feel like that, calm and collected. When he was around Craig, he got as close to the feeling as he thought he ever would, but he knew he'd never be truly calm. Even so, he chased that feeling, leaning into Craig's hand and attempting to soak up as much of the calm that permeated the boy's room as possible. He liked this, with the comfortable silence and the warmth, when Craig was calm and he was as close to calm as he could ever get. Honestly, he wished every day could be like this.

It was impossible, but it was times like this where he figured it didn't really matter. As long as Craig existed, then peace was out there and maybe one day, he'd finally manage to reach it.

In the quiet, Craig gently said, "Hey Tweek?"

Looking up at him, blinking admittedly heavy eyes, Tweek softly mumbled, "What?"

For a moment, it looked like Craig wanted to say a lot of things. It wasn't often that Tweek saw that particular gleam in his eyes, Craig didn't tend to enjoy talking. But at that moment, it looked like he was trying to formulate one hundred sentences at once and failing to speak a single one. At long last though, the boy glanced over at his guinea pig and muttered, "How was your Christmas?"

Hearing those words again, after everything, made Tweek deflate slightly. Looking down at the covers heaped over him, Tweek awkwardly twitched and said, "Ngh- Not good…" Knowledge that Craig was staring at him beating down on him, Tweek fussed with the blankets and continued, "I just –ghn- d-didn't want to interrupt you, so I just sat up in my room and the underpants gnomes stole my underwear again and I felt horrible because I promised I'd be here but then I wasn't and I just-" Words dying in his throat, Tweek could do nothing but stare up at the oddly sad look in Craig's eyes.

"You shouldn't be alone on Christmas," the Noirette said abruptly, something off about his classically deadpan tone. "No one should be alone. Not me, not Clyde." Glancing down at Tweek, Craig gently muttered, "Especially not you."

Even though part of him sort of wanted to cry, Tweek managed a smile, a slow, soft one that spread across his face in a bittersweet way. "I'm happy now that I'm here," he told Craig sincerely, his words quiet yet sure. At his words, Craig's breaths did a funny thing, like they cut out for a second before they shuddered back into being.

Tugging the edge of his hat down, Craig said, "Good."

And maybe not everything was good, but Craig's fingers were in Tweek's hair, and the room was quiet, and Craig's breathing was evening back out. To Tweek, that was plenty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha, this was another one of those chapters I had almost done before scraping it all and starting from square one. I hope it worked out.
> 
> For now though, I'm going to bed. Author out~


	59. The Price Of Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHATEVER YOU THINK IS COMING, YOU HAVE NO IDEA~!
> 
> Also, yes, I realize that last chapter was very gay. I liked it. It was cute. Also, Apparently I'm not the only one who liked it because the esteemed Mianewarcher did art for it!! -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169467620800/upacreekwithcraigandtweek-teamalphaq<\-- I mean, I knew the whole thing about Craig carrying Tweek up to his room in his arms was a little gay but damn, this picture still made squeal helplessly. I love it, I love everything about it. Also, if you have the time watch the video!! It's so cool watching her draw it and honestly, the commentary made my heart melt a little. (and by a little, I mean a lot jesus, I'm just a puddle of happy author right now)
> 
> But on with this chapter. You're going to hate me~!
> 
> Why does that make me happy...
> 
> Enjoy.

Craig had not signed up for this. No, there was nothing that could have prepared him for this. Not even Kenny's numerous lectures on manners and proper diplomatic procedures, and they had been plenty. In fact, the whole situation hadn't even really computed in his mind even when Tweek had been hovering over him, screaming about how his hair was a tangled mess and  _did he even take his hat off? JESUS!_

Nope, it wasn't until the moment that he walked in through the doors of City Wok that he finally realized what his life had become.

Breezing past him, Wendy beside him so he could chat with her happily, Kenny turned to Token and said, "The Castle  _is_  looking a little run-down these days, wouldn't you say? If only the Elves stopped attacking us for long enough to neaten it all up. I'm holding out for curtains but I fear it's a losing battle."

"Our fortifications are clearly superior," Wendy said, crossing her arms and lifting her chin as if this was something to be proud over. "But we have an unfair advantage." Rolling his eyes, walking through the door that was being held open by Scott Malkinson, Craig looked down at Tweek, who looked funny without his usual weaponry adorning his person. Seeing as this was peace they were discussing, it had been wisely recommended that they leave most of the heavy weaponry back at Kupa Keep and the girls' layer respectively. It also might have had something to do with the fact that they would be sitting in a restaurant and not outside somewhere.

As Token went up to the counter to tell the proprietor of City Wok that, indeed, this was his reservation and that, no, they didn't particularly want food but water would be fine, Craig hung back so he could stand next to Tweek. Unfortunately, the blond had not made the cut to sit at the negotiation tables. Craig was, apparently, required to participate, but Tweek had been allowed to escape it, no matter how much the Noirette insisted that the shorter boy would be an asset as opposed to a detriment. Kenny just hadn't been about to budge on the matter.

Reaching up for his chullo, only to belatedly remember that he hadn't been permitted to wear it, Craig tugged at a piece of his combed hair and looked down at Tweek, who was currently wearing the same hat he'd just been looking for. It looked funny, with that blond mane exploding out around the sides of it like you'd tried to contain a bomb and failed miserably. The sight made him feel slightly better. Nudging Tweek to get his attention, Craig asked, "So, what do you think about this?"

Shivering, Tweek shook his head fervently, his eyes wide and wild. "Jesus man, w-why are we making alliances with people who just drag people away?!" He said it quietly, probably because he didn't want any of the girls still streaming through the doors of the restaurant to hear. Just as the Humans had all turned out for this historic event, so had all the girls shown up to listen in on their leader's decisions. Craig didn't see what the big fucking deal was, but then, he still didn't understand why the girls seemed to like him so much so was that any real surprise?

"Because we don't want to get dragged away anymore?" Craig suggested, wishing he could ruffle Tweek's hair but unwilling to remove his hat from the boy's head. If it was going to be anywhere, he would rather it be with Tweek than with someone else, anyway. "I don't know, the girls are fucking weird dude." His assertion was only further backed up by the sight of two girls looking at the two of them and then hurriedly whispering something to each other before giggling.

As Clyde and Bebe walked by, both of them talking happily, Tweek let out a, "Rrr-" before squeaking, "I think Clyde understands them!" Craig wasn't too sure about that either, but he supposed that if Clyde had to talk to any girl, Bebe at least was pretty nice most of the time. She didn't seem as crazy as Wendy, or as sharp as Red. That being said, he still didn't understand one thing about them. Even his sister was a mystery. Apparently, though, that sort of knowledge came with age, if Kenny was to be believed.

Letting out a breath as Tweek bumped up against him, Craig watched as some of the Humans tugged tables this way and that as they arranged everything. Not particularly wanting to help, Craig just sat back and observed, content to stand next to the shivering blond and not get involved any sooner than he needed to. As they watched, Butters brought both Wendy and Kenny cups of water, to which Wendy thanked him and Kenny let out a squeal as he hugged the boy happily. Rolling his eyes, Craig looked back down at Tweek, who was watching the scene with a nervous expression.

"It's not that bad," Craig said casually, in an attempt to be encouraging, even though he wasn't entirely sure what Tweek was worried about. "At least Cartman isn't in charge of the peace talks."

Shaking harder, Tweek tossed his head about, as if he were trying to dislodge the thought from his mind. Tugging on the flaps of Craig's chullo till he'd almost entirely pulled the hat over his eyes, Tweek softly screamed, "JESUS MAN, NO WAY!" Craig snorted at the blonde's reaction, and carefully pulled up his hat so he could see Tweek's terrified eyes. Sucking in his cheeks, Craig smiled slightly, unable to help himself.

"It's fine, Token's got it. He knows what the fuck he's doing, even if no one else does." Nodding at that, probably calming down at the thought of the black boy taking care of everything, as usual, Tweek twitched and leaned against Craig, his sudden change in posture inexplicable to the taller boy. Nevertheless, Craig didn't argue, he just let Tweek take several deep breaths, playing with the escaping strands of blond hair as he did.

"Yeah, p-probably," Tweek agreed, not sounding entirely convinced yet definitely sounding a lot less nervous. Puffing out a breath of air, the boy twitched and added, "I'm just –ngh- worried about what Princess Kenny is gonna do! Oh god, what if he d-does something crazy? I don't get him at all, man! He d-doesn't make sense." Agreeing with Tweek in his head, Craig just kept fluffing the boy's hair, finding the action almost as calming to perform as it seemed to be for Tweek to feel.

"He won't do anything too crazy," Craig reassured the boy, looking into Tweek's eyes when the blond straightened and stared up at him as he bit his lip. "I mean, he's fucking nuts, but he's got the rest of us to think about." Even though this didn't do much to convince either of them of Kenny's intentions, Craig decided to leave well enough alone. He really didn't need to be worrying about something like that. Anyway, Token would be there. That was insurance enough, he was pretty sure.

Looking over at said people, Craig happened to catch their eye and was no surprised when Kenny beckoned him over with a dainty hand. "Oh Feldspar~ We need you over here, you know what's happening, I'm sure." Scowling at the irritating Princess, Craig forced his features to smooth out when they moved on to Wendy, whose arms were crossed while a rather unimpressed expression adorned her features. "Be a dear and let Tweek go back to being his usual scary barbarian self!"

Rolling his eyes again for what felt like the millionth time that day, Craig gave Tweek one last reassuring look before striding over to where Kenny was standing with several other girls, Butters and Token. "Wonderful, I think we're just about ready to start." Looking to Wendy, who gave Kenny a nod, the Princess clapped his hands together and said, "Oh, this whole thing is just so wonderful. Look at our sides, all working together. Sort of." The last bit was tacked on as they looked around and realized how split their two groups were.

"Well, at least we tried," reasoned Annie, who'd lost her sword in place of a new sparkling cape and done-up hair. "I can't really blame them, it's a little jarring trying to talk to boys." Kenny nodded wisely, which would have been irritating if Craig was in the mood to get irritated about something so petty. Instead, he let it roll off of him, his eyes naturally gravitating towards Tweek, who'd managed to find several Humans that he knew relatively alright.

_Well, I suppose Terry and Jesse aren't all that bad…_

"I suppose we might as well- hang on, where is Bebe?" Putting her hands on her hips, Wendy looked around only to find Bebe and Clyde still talking, both of their faces alight. Rolling her eyes and scoffing, as if seeing her friend happy was merely an annoyance instead of something to be glad about, Wendy clicked her tongue and called, "Bebe! We are about to start, stop talking to that Human and get over here."

Looking over to Wendy with wide eyes, Bebe quickly turned back to Clyde and no doubt apologized before hurrying over to her leader's side. "Sunshine sparkle," she said quickly as if this was some sort of apology in girl speak. "I was just… Getting to know the Humans a little better, you know? For better communications between our two sides and stuff."

"They're Humans, you don't need to get to know them," Wendy chastised before making sure that her other officers were with her. "Now we can start."

Gesturing at the table that had been set out in the middle of the room, Kenny trilled, "Then let us take our seats!" As he floated over to the table, Butters hurried ahead of him and pulled out his chair, grinning from ear to ear as he did, like this was the best thing ever. Kenny, naturally, blew the boy a kiss before shooing him away to one of the Human tables. Though Craig would have rather just sat down as well, he did as Kenny had instructed him to by going around the table and pulling out the chairs for the other girls, as if they were incapable children instead of warriors. Something about manners, probably. He didn't understand it, but then, he didn't understand Kenny or girls, so again, it made sense.

As he was finally permitted to sit down on Kenny's right, Craig looked over at Token, only to find the boy calmly watching Wendy and the other girls like he was studying a map or something. Giving up, Craig just sat back in his seat and attempted not to slouch, as Kenny had explicitly commanded. Looking at the single wine glass in the middle of the table and at the spoon that had been placed next to it, Kenny cleared his throat daintily and picked the utensil up so he could clink it against the empty glass. "Attention all!" he called out, his voice bright and airy. "The official peace talks between the Humans and Valkyries has now begun."

From her side of the table, Wendy called, "Sunshine sunshine."

"Sparkle!" all the other girls answered, in unison.

Pulling out a notebook from under his cape, Token flipped it open before saying, "So, as previously discussed, this meeting has been set to discuss the terms that the alliance between the Humans and the Valkyries is to contain. Of course, the requests the Humans have are simple." Tapping the pencil that he'd pulled out of his pocket against the paper, Token read out, "No more attacking our soldiers if we are not in a specified conflict. That means no more shooting at us when we're injured or helping the Elves, however indirectly."

"We should be able to help whoever we want," Red quickly argued, crossing her arms and sticking out her bottom lip. "If we're still going to be playing this game, we should get to follow the same rules that the rest of you do!" Annie nodded in agreement, but Wendy just stared over Kenny's head at the table behind them. Quickly turning to see who it was, Craig, predictably, found Cartman glaring at the girl.  _We're never going to get anything done…_

"That's very fair," Kenny agreed, nodding along with what Red was saying. "But on the flip side, we've been very careful to keep both of our teams about as even as possible. If the Valkyries join the Elves, then we lose automatically. There's no possible way for us to stand up to  _both_  of you at the same time, and that just isn't fair." Red sighed and rolled her eyes, but it was clear she understood what was being said.

"Currently though," Wendy said, finally looking away from Cartman so she could focus on Kenny. "We have been acting as a separate faction with separate goals. I'm not sure what else we can do."

"Maybe stop sniping us off from the fucking trees?" Craig suggested, ignoring Kenny's lady-like gasp of indigence. "That would be a good start." Unexpectedly, Wendy nodded at this and Bebe's eyes lit up with agreement.

"Craig- er- Feldspar is right," Bebe agreed. "I mean if we're going to make an alliance, that kind of means we shouldn't be attacking them anymore. Plus, I don't mean to be un-glittery or anything, but we don't attack the Elves at all. That's a little unfair, especially because I keep telling you that several of our girls have gotten mocked by Elves for trying to play at all." Annie nodded at that, and several of the onlooking girls made sounds of agreement. "The humans have actually been pretty okay so far, except for the Grand Wizard."

Frowning, clearly disgruntled, Wendy pointed out, "Well Bebe, you're the one who likes the Humans way too much so I'm not sure if you're in any place to be saying anything." Huffing, the girl looked to the side and muttered, "That being said, I agree that the preferential treatment needs to stop. I really do think this alliance would be best for all of us. The girls are getting tired of this game after all."

"That's entirely understandable," Kenny cooed, putting out a hand as if to pat Wendy's arm, even though he didn't get anywhere close to touching her. "You know these men, they can be very stubborn. But I suppose that's why the Elves and the Humans still haven't managed to get along and we've had years to attempt to do so." Several girls tittered at this, which seemed to be what Kenny was going for because he smiled slightly, clearly pleased.

Tapping his notebook, effectively returning them to their conversation, Token said, "So, for the Humans, what we have is that you will, with this treaty, call an official cease-fire between us and your Valkyries. After this, any open act of hostility towards us would be counted as an act of war and we would officially be in conflict with your people after that."

Nodding, Red said, "That sounds fair, what do you think Wendy?"

"Well, I suppose it makes sense," Wendy agreed.

"Now, for your wishes!~" Kenny said perkily, clapping his daintily gloved hands together in delight. "I'm sure you want something from us other than money, as you seem to not want any money that's been given to you by the Grand Wizard."

"Yes, yes we do."

Bored, Craig let his attention drift again. Everyone was listening, the tables around them filled with kids that were all staring intently at their table as if it held all the answers to life on it.  _If teachers could get kids to pay attention like this, we wouldn't need to spend most of the year in school._  Twisting his head slightly, Craig found Tweek staring at him, eyes wide and white-knuckled hands clenched around the back of his chair. Giving his head a slight tilt, Craig raised his eyebrows slightly before blinking slowly.

Whatever this communicated to the boy, it did its job. With a twitch, Tweek's hands loosened around the chair back and his shaking became a little less pronounced. Even though he wished he could be sitting next to the boy, Craig forced himself to be satisfied with this much so that he could turn around and attempt to pay attention to the conversation once more.

"-And trust us, we've asked the Elves, but they refuse point-blank to go with it." Crossing her arms, Annie commented, "It's infuriating, that's what."

Nodding, looking a little tired, Bebe said, "I have to admit, I thought they'd be a little nicer than this. But they're just so rigid about the whole thing." Sighing, the girl looked to the side and continued, "I guess I sort of get why, but it seems like such a small thing, you know? And they just keep telling us to shut up about it just because they're paying us not to attack them."

"I for one, am sick of the balance at our school being upset," Wendy agreed, looking a lot more cross about the whole thing. "You are all so  _irritating._  I could scream, I swear."

"I know Honey, I know we are," Kenny agreed, nodding sagely as gave Wendy a sympathetic expression. "I promise, we'll do everything we can." Feeling more than a little out of the loop, Craig looked over at Token, who helpfully decided to read back what had been said at that moment.  _Heh, he probably knows I wasn't paying attention._

"So, in return for their halt to these attacks, the girls want two things: For the Humans to not make any more sexist and derogatory remarks about them playing through the Carrier Ravens."

"You know it's just the Grand Wizard," Red put in, her chin in the air. "We're not blaming all of you, we just want it to stop."

Nodding, Token continued, "And also for the school to be declared a game-free zone. Officially."

Eyes widening at that, Craig leaned forward and said, "You do realize for that to happen we'd need to take back the Stick? It's the only object with the power to allow us to make a game-changing decision like that." Frowning at the girls, who all looked rather set on the idea, Craig let out a puff of air before leaning back and muttering, "Don't mind me, I guess we'll just have to magically get the Stick back then, won't we?"

"Yes, you will," Annie supplied. "Don't worry, we'll give you until, like, march first or something."

"That makes it all  _so_  much better," Craig said flatly, his expression a perfect deadpan.

"All that aside," Kenny said pointedly, smiling at the girls. "Those are the demands, correct?" When the girls grudgingly nodded, he smiled and took the piece of paper Token offered him, complete with the pencil he'd been using. "Then I guess we can sign on the treaty then!"

"Hang on," Wendy said, holding up a hand. "This is all very well and good but what if one of your Humans decides to go and break the rules of this? What then? I don't have any faith in you people, what's to say you won't just ignore this entirely?"

Eyes lighting up in a practically evil way, Kenny smiled brightly and said, "Oh Wendy, you really are much smarter than anyone in this room could ever fully appreciate." Planting his elbows on the table so he could lean on his hands and bat his eyelashes at the girls, Kenny continued, "You bring up an excellent point, one that I was thinking of myself, to be honest. I do agree that it might be of some concern, you know, us breaking the agreement. We all want something a little more concrete to be proof of our alliance past a little piece of paper. And I'm sure there are ways to have something like that, ways that would be beneficial to both sides!"

Raising an eyebrow, Annie asked, "Do you have something in mind, Lady McCormick?"

Smiling perfectly, as though he was an innocent Princess instead of the boy that Craig knew he could be, Kenny said, "Well, I'll admit, I have come up with at least one solution that would perfectly solve all of these problems and provide a  _lasting_  sign that we are entirely one when it comes to this decision."

"What is it?" Token asked curiously, even though Craig wanted to signal him to for-the-love-of-god not encourage Kenny. "I thought the treaty would be plenty."

"Well, it's pretty good," Kenny agreed, still watching Wendy. "But I decided to take some inspiration from real people of this time period. You see, often times, when people were making an alliance of some sort, they were dealing with many people that couldn't quite comprehend what some words on a piece of paper meant. If you don't mind me saying Wendy, the Humans are less than skilled and quite grasping the nuances of situations."

"Exactly my worry," Wendy agreed, nodding. "So what's your plan."

As if his words were the most excellent and wonderful idea in the world, Kenny announced, "I suggest a marriage of a Valkyrie and a Human to truly symbolize our groups' commitments to maintain peace!"

Staring at Kenny as if the boy had lost his goddamn mind, Craig was about to ask what the hell that was supposed to mean when Red interjected, "Actually, that makes a lot of sense. If one person from our side dated a Human from your side, then we'd all have a good reason not to attack one another."

Looking around the table, waiting for the other shoe to drop and someone to say this was a horrible idea, Craig was stunned to find even Token nodding along, contemplatively looking at the ceiling. "I have to admit, that's actually pretty ingenious Kenny."

"Of course it is!" Kenny burbled, grinning from ear to fucking ear. "Naturally, it couldn't be just two random people and it couldn't be the leaders either." Looking to Wendy meaningfully, Kenny said, "That means no one is suggesting that any one of your beautiful warriors would have to date the Grand Wizard. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But it would mean that one of your more respected officials would date one of our more important warriors."

Craig felt something in his stomach flop uncomfortably as Kenny slyly looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "In fact, I'd say that Feldspar here would make the prime candidate for this peace couple. That is if none of your warriors object to him." From behind him, Craig could hear the muffled scream of Tweek and he quite agreed because what the  _hell?_

"No, we don't," Wendy said, looking over Craig, who was staring at Kenny as the words the boy had just said sunk in.  _I have to date one of the girls… Wait, I have to fucking go out with one of these people!? WHAT THE FUCK!_  "And besides, this has nothing to do with love or anything as it is purely an arranged marriage. It wasn't as if things like this back then were done with love in mind."

"Exactly," Kenny agreed, looking over at Craig with that smile on his face like he was so  _fucking_  pleased with himself. Craig meanwhile was trying to think of a way out of this and failing. "It would be better for us all."

"Well then," Wendy said, a smile crossing her face as well. "Bebe, as the leader of the Human division of the Valkyries, I suppose it's your job here to support your sunshine sisters and marry Feldspar, for the sake of peace between our two sides." Blinking, clearly taken aback by this as well, Bebe looked at Craig, who could only give her a flat expression instead of what he wanted to do which was say something about how if they wanted to do this at all then they might as well pick Clyde because at least he'd be happy about it.

Nervously, Bebe said, "I- I guess so."

"Wonderful!" Both Kenny and Wendy said in unison. Picking up the pencil, Wendy scrawled her signature on the bottom of the document in front of her before saying, "I suppose we'll be in touch to plan the wedding."

"Yes, I suppose we will," Kenny agreed brightly. "I hereby call this meeting of peace to be disbanded."

"Sunshine sunshine!"

"Sparkle!"

But all Craig could think was  _Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh heh heh... 
> 
> Okay okay, but hear me out, this is GOING TO WORK OUT I SWEAR CAN'T YOU JUST SEE THE POTENTIAL OMG TRUST ME.
> 
> Seriously though, Telesthesia and I have been plotting up something fierce and I swear, if you don't like it, I'll eat my own foot. (not really, but you get the idea)


	60. Informally Insecure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'll admit, that last chapter went over better than I expected.
> 
> To be honest, I woke up today feeling sick to my stomach because I thought that I might have made a terrible mistake, which was the inspiration for this chapter. I hope you aren't too upset when I say things are going to be horribly angsty from here until, oh, I dunno, chapter 80? It won't be that bad.
> 
> Oh who am I kidding, it'll be terrible.
> 
> Enjoy.

You know that feeling when something's wrong, but you don't know what that thing is? Usually, it only shows up right after something happened that shouldn't make you upset, so it's hard and even more uncomfortable to actually point to that thing and say  _that's what's making me upset._  So you just end up feeling queasy and sick to your stomach as you wonder  _what's wrong with me_  because this shouldn't be an issue but for some reason it is and you still don't want to admit that something's making you uncomfortable.

It's that feeling you get when you need to confess to a lie. It's the feeling you get when you've broken the unspoken rules but only one person is willing to call you out on it.

It's how Tweek felt as he watched all the other Humans and Valkyries get up and start going their separate ways, seemingly content with how the peace talks had gone. Wrapping his arms around his stomach, the boy twitched minutely as he stared at the floor, unsure what he was supposed to do. He felt sort of like he wanted to throw up, but he didn't know why.  _Maybe I'm sick or something?_

"Is that really the best idea?" Jesse was asking Terry worriedly, rubbing his knuckles together in a repetitive motion that drew Tweek's eyes, mostly because he wasn't sure where else he was supposed to look. "I thought for sure Craig would say no."  _So did I…_  Tweek sort of felt like maybe he should be panicking, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what he was supposed to be panicking over. Because there was nothing, heck, he should probably be happy right now.

"Well, Bebe doesn't seem that bad. And it wasn't like he had a choice," Terry pointed out, shrugging. Both boys were getting to their feet but Tweek didn't budge, he just sat there staring at his feet like he'd suddenly been rendered immobile. "Tweek? You coming?" Glancing up at Terry, who was watching him with expectant eyes, Tweek shivered and tried to formulate some sort of response.

_Jesus, what's going on? What's wrong with me?_  "Y-yeah," he managed, letting go of his stomach so he could wiggle out of his chair and numbly follow the boys as they started gravitating towards the door, talking to other people along the way. Gritting his teeth, Tweek frustratedly tugged at the flaps of Craig's hat, pulling it down lower over his face. He still felt sick and he didn't know why, which was stressing him out.  _I don't get it._

What was he even supposed to get? Staring at the floor, Tweek found himself stopping in the middle of the room, unsure why he was even going anywhere. The only thing that kept going through his head was those words that Craig and Bebe were going to start dating. It was weird how they kept playing on repeat as if his brain felt the need to remind him of something that he wasn't about to forget. Like a curse, another wave of nausea hit him and he made a soft whimpering sound.

He should probably be smiling, that's what people did when they heard about something happy like this.  _But they don't even like each other, why are they going to have to date?!_  But maybe Craig would end up liking Bebe, the girl seemed really nice as far as the blond could tell. She was smart and funny and if Clyde was to be believed absolutely beautiful, but Tweek still felt like he wanted to throw up.  _Why do I feel sick? I should be happy right now._

"But why did you agree with them?" Tweek didn't even bother to glance up at the sound of Clyde's voice. All he did was twitch and nibble on his lips, wishing that he'd just feel better already so he could go back to normal. "It's not fair that Craig gets to marry Bebe! Why wouldn't you even agree to that, he probably doesn't even like her."

"Clyde, it made perfect sense," Token argued back. Tweek felt like he should be nodding in agreement with the black boy but he really just wanted to agree with Clyde.  _No, I'm being stupid, Craig and Bebe will probably be really happy together._  "Craig's influential, Bebe's influential, both of them will care enough about the rest of the game to make things work. It's not like it's a real marriage."

Whining in irritation, Clyde complained, "You know that's not what I meant! They're still going to be dating! Why would Princess Kenny choose Craig out of everyone, it totally does  _not_  make sense." Shaking harder, Tweek reached up and pulled at Craig's chullo again, wishing that he could find some measure of comfort in the action. But there was nothing, his stomach just rolled. "I know it's for peace but couldn't they have chosen some other girl?"

"Who?" Token asked, sounding mildly impatient. "Annie doesn't seem like she has a big enough roll in this faction and Red is Craig's cousin. Wendy is off the table because a: she's still hung up on Stan according to Lady McCormick, and b: she's the leader and the leader of a faction should never have direct ties to another faction. It's not good for politics."  _We're ten, why do we care about politics?_  Tweek shook his head minutely and pursed his lips together, just so he wouldn't say it out loud. Token probably knew best, he always did, right?

"Okay, but what about a different Human?" Clyde argued, still sounding unbelievably stubborn about the whole thing. "Craig's not the only one who's important in the Human Kingdom. He's, like, only one of the most important. Why didn't they choose someone else, like, I don't know, you or Butters or me or even Tweek!" Shaking his head harder at that, Tweek let out a squeak of protest, but couldn't quite make himself freak out about it like he normally would.  _Something's wrong with me, what's wrong with me?_

Sighing, Token patiently said, "I wouldn't be a good choice because I'm one of the chief strategists and giving me ties to another faction would be foolish. No offense Tweek, but I think that you'd be too worried about screwing things up to make a peace-keeping relationship work. Butters might look like a good choice, but he's way too quick to cater to Cartman's every whim and will. The girls wouldn't want to deal with that."

"But what about me?" Clyde insisted, sounding honestly upset about the whole thing. Tweek didn't understand why Clyde was upset, but it made more sense than his own feeling of sickness. Because he was pretty sure that Clyde liked Bebe, so that was probably why he wasn't happy about the whole thing, but Tweek had no reason not to support Craig and Bebe wholeheartedly.  _Maybe I just feel bad for Clyde? But that doesn't make sense! Why doesn't anything make sense?! Why do I feel so horrible?_

"Clyde-" Token drew in a breath. "Don't take this the wrong way, but Princess Kenny needed to choose someone that would actually tempt the girls to agree to the whole marriage thing. They all seem to like Craig already, so it makes sense to choose him. It would guarantee that no matter who ended up having to date him, they wouldn't be upset about it. You've been playing the game longer than Craig and you're more loyal to Cartman. It makes the most sense for Craig and Bebe to be the couple. You don't have to like it, you just have to support it."

"I'm not gonna support it, the whole thing is stupid!" Clyde exclaimed. "Come on Tweek, back me up on this one, it's stupid for Craig to date Bebe, right?" Shivering harder, Tweek stared at the floor and bit his lip as he tried to fight back the bile building up in the back of his throat.

Even though his throat didn't seem like it wanted to work right, Tweek mumbled, "I -ghn- d-don't know, I guess as long as Craig is happy then we should support them." He knew it was the right thing to say but he didn't want to say it! It felt so wrong coming out of his mouth that it made him whimper softly and wrap his arms around his stomach once more, trying to drive away the horrible gnawing sensation inside of him. "I m-mean, we want the Humans and the Valkyries to be peaceful, right?"

"Oh come on," Clyde said in exasperation. "Don't tell me you believe them too!"

"Jesus man, I don't know!" Tweek squeaked, twitching and squeezing his eyes shut tight. "It's what th-they're saying is going to happen so -ngh- we can't even do anything!" Clamping down on his lip to hold back all the terrible sounds caught in the back of his throat, Tweek tasted the coppery cloying matte of blood and almost choked on it.  _Why am I upset, why do I feel so terrible? What's going on?_

Before anyone else could say anything, Tweek felt something tug at the strands of escaping hair that were flying up from under Craig's hat and the familiar deep voice of the boy saying, "What's going on?" Without even really thinking about it, Tweek's head jerked up and he flinched back from Craig.  _Jesus, why did I do that?_  Shivering, Tweek stared up at Craig, who stared right back his brows furrowing as he did so.

"We were just talking about the fact that  _you_  are going to get married to Bebe," Clyde said, narrowing his eyes. Flicking his attention to the brunette, Tweek made an involuntary sound as the boy pointed to Craig and said, "What's that about, huh? Why didn't you say no? Why did you let the Princess push you into something like that?"

Attention leaving Tweek, Craig tipped his chin up and looked down at Clyde, like he was trying to work through why the boy was so upset. "Dude, do you think I  _asked_  for this?"  _No, but you didn't say no._  Banishing that thought, frustrated with himself for even thinking about it, Tweek bit his already bleeding lip as his eyes shifted back to Clyde, who had his arms crossed petulantly across his chest.

"I don't know Craig, but the least you could have done is put up a fight," Clyde shot back, his face a mask of frustration. "I mean why would you get married to a girl if you don't even like her!?" Craig's brows furrowed at that as if Clyde's words had finally managed to annoy him slightly.

"Clyde kindly shut the fuck up," Craig told his friend, looking him in the eye. "I wasn't just going to tell Bebe that I didn't want to date her, she's not that bad."  _See, Craig's okay with it, so should I be._  Shivering, Tweek dug his fucked up fingernails into his bare sides, like they were ten little knives. Anything to keep himself from screaming about something he shouldn't even be upset about.  _But I'm not upset about this, it must be something else! Why would I be upset about Craig and Bebe getting together, it's fine!_

"Not that bad!?" Clyde ground his teeth together. "She's perfect Craig, and you don't even like her so why are you willing to marry or date or be together with her or whatever? It's just a stupid game! Why would you do something like that?"

"Guys," Token tried, looking tired. "Can we please-"

"If you have something to say then fucking say it," Craig growled back, cutting Token off, clearly frustrated. "Don't just blame me for this shit. It wasn't my idea, but at least I'm not trying to sabotage the whole thing." Crossing his arms and looking down his nose at Clyde, Craig continued, "Everyone else here cares about this Clyde, they want the Humans and the Valkyries to get along. I thought you did too." As Craig talked, Tweek could feel the pressure in his head building, making it hard to even think anymore.  _Jesus, why is he saying those things?!_

"Since when have you given a fuck what everyone else thought?" Clyde asked, his expression morphing into frustrated disbelief. All Tweek wanted was for them to stop fighting, but he felt so sick he couldn't even begin to say anything. It was too much, he couldn't handle the pressure! "Who are you and what have you done with my friend?"

"I don't know dude, I'm wondering the same thing about you," Craig muttered back.

Unable to take it a moment longer, Tweek let out a shriek. "JESUS, JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!" Instantly, both Craig and Clyde looked at him, neither of their expressions happy. It didn't take long for Craig's face to melt back into his usual flat look, but Clyde just looked hurt, like he'd been betrayed by Craig and Tweek in some way. A look of worry flitted through Craig's eyes and for a second, Tweek thought that the Noirette was going to say something, but then a different voice interrupted them.

"Hey, guys." As one, all of the boys looked up to find Bebe standing there, her hands clasped in front of her like she was nervous and her eyes a little sad almost before the brightened again like emotions were just something to be turned off and on. "I hope everything's okay." Catching a fold of the skirt of her armor, Bebe twisted it as she continued, "I know that was kind of a surprise, but I hope that we can make the best of it." At those words, she turned to Craig, who stood up a little straighter.

"Yeah," he agreed, his tone as flat as always. Tweek shivered and wished that he'd show just a little emotion, anything so that the blond didn't have to feel like he was floundering around.  _Come on, it's Bebe, she's really nice and pretty, you should be happy for Craig._  "It's just the Princess' usual bullshit, you get used to it eventually."

Giving a little sigh that made her shoulders rise and fall so daintily, Bebe said, "I don't think Princess Kenny is that bad, I'm sure she- er- he means well." Eyes flicking to Clyde, Tweek was somehow unsurprised to find a lost and longing look ghost through the brunette's eyes. Upset that his friend was upset but having no way to fix it, Tweek looked back to Bebe to find the girl already looking at him.

"Tweek?" she started cautiously, almost like she didn't want to say anything wrong.  _Why is she being so nice? She should hate me for not being happy for her and Craig! Why are people like this, why is any of this even happening!?_  When he made a soft spastic sound in acknowledgment, Bebe carefully continued, "I just want to say, you really don't have to worry about me stealing Craig from you or anything, I promise I won't upset any of your friendships." Looking to the other boys as well, she insisted, "I'm the intruder here, I'll do my best not to ruin anything."

Quickly, almost like he couldn't stand to see Bebe upset, Clyde said, "No no, it's fine, you're not going to ruin anything, don't worry." As her eyes focused on Clyde, Bebe brightened slightly and Clyde did too, though his smile was tinged with melancholy.  _Oh god, why is this happening?! Even Clyde is fine with it, why am I acting like this?!_

"It's okay Bebe, we understand," Token said with his usual calm warm voice. "It's a little abrupt, but I'm sure you and Craig will figure something out." His look turning more serious, he continued, "I know it's a big responsibility, keeping the Valkyries and the Humans peaceful with a relationship, but I think that both you and Craig will rise to the challenge admirably."

As Bebe's eyes turned to Tweek, clearly waiting for his confirmation of her words, the blond panicked, unsure what he was supposed to say. Forcing himself to open his mouth, Tweek all but choked out, "Rrr- I think you and Craig w-will be a great couple!" Instantly, he felt his stomach rebel and he trembled hard as he realized that he'd just lied and he didn't know why. It shouldn't even be a lie, so why did it feel so wrong? _Something's wrong with me, I'm so fucked up._

Letting out a breath, the girl said, "Well, I'm glad that everything is okay with all of you. I suppose I'll be seeing you all soon for the wedding." At the word wedding, Bebe's eyes flicked to Clyde and her lips pulled down into a frown before she gave a little shake of her head and pushed a smile back onto her face. "Someone's got to keep the girls and the boys from killing each other. I guess that's going to have to be us, Craig."

"I guess," Craig echoed, though his words sounded weirdly hollow and he scuffed his feet against the floor of the restaurant as he spoke. Heart crying out for him, wishing the Noirette would just  _tell_ Bebe that he didn't want to date, Tweek slapped a hand over his mouth to keep himself from screaming again. Bebe glanced at him at the movement, and Tweek desperately wished she'd just stop staring at him with that  _pitying_  expression like she could see inside his brain to the horrible fucked-up thing that was making him feel sick at the thought of her and Craig getting together.

"Well, I should probably be going, bye~" Shooting Clyde one last look, Bebe added, "See you later Clyde," before she quickly hurried away, her long curly hair fluttering behind her. Watching her go, shaking his head twitching as he did, Tweek swayed as another wave of nausea hit him.

Suddenly needing to get out of there before he threw up or Craig and Clyde went back to arguing, Tweek jerkily yanked Craig's hat off of his head and folded it up several times before shoving it at the Noirette. "I'm going -nggh- home," Tweek mumbled, the moment Craig's hand had closed around his chullo. Without waiting for anyone to say something, Tweek pushed past his friends and headed out the front door, shivering as the cold hit him full force.

Clutching at the corners of his Manbearpig pelt, Tweek hunched his shoulders, wishing the fresh air would take away the sick feeling from his gut. It didn't, if anything, it kept getting worse.  _Jesus, why did I just leave? I should have stayed and talked to Craig. They're going to think I don't support Bebe and Craig, of course, I support them. But it's just a stupid game!_  At the thought, it was like reality started to melt around him. Suddenly, he felt like he was just a ten-year-old kid instead of a warrior. And Craig was just another kid who was letting a stupid game control his life, just like Clyde said. It made Tweek feel even worse, mostly because it didn't matter if Craig and Bebe were doing this for the game, they were still going to start dating.

"Ngh- Oh god, why?" As pressure built up behind his eyes, Tweek shoved the heels of his palms into his sockets as if that would help him get rid of the horrible helpless feeling that was swamping him. Biting his lip, whimpering as his teeth sunk into already abused flesh, Tweek walked faster, not even sure of his direction but knowing that it would get him  _out._  Away from the situation and away from Craig, who Tweek felt like he needed to get away from at that moment.

Switching to yanking his hair, just so he could see, Tweek tried to force himself to be happy. This was so stupid, his mind was stuck in a loop, he'd been thinking the same things since it had been announced. It was going to happen in the game, and Bebe was probably going to start hanging out with them more so he should probably get used to it.  _Jesus, what if Craig doesn't come over anymore because he's with Bebe all the time? What if he forgets about me?!_  Well then he should probably be fine with it because Bebe was going to be Craig's  _girlfriend_  and that made her more important, right?

_What if he hates me because I'm not happy about this?_  Shivering, Tweek made a sound that sounded an awful lot like a dry sob, which just frustrated him more. "W-what's wrong with me?" Tweek asked aloud, twitching hard and staring at the sky as if there were answers there. "Why am I so -rrr- m-messed up?"

"Tweek?"

"AUGH JESUS!" Spinning around quickly, almost toppling over backward, Tweek found Craig standing behind him, looking a little winded like he'd ran to catch up. Shivering hard, resisting the inexplicable urge to bolt, Tweek could do nothing but watch as Craig got closer and slowly reached out his hand like he wasn't sure if he was allowed to touch him.  _Oh god, I'm making Craig upset now, aren't I?_

Feeling practically monstrous for  _ever_ making Craig worry about anything, Tweek shuffled forward that extra step and butted his head against the taller boy's palm. Unexpectedly, Craig's other arm came around and Tweek was suddenly being pulled into a hug. Tweek had never seen it coming because on the few occasions where they had hugged before, Craig hadn't so much hugged him back as patted his head. But right at that moment, Craig was definitely clinging tightly to him, his arm almost wrapping entirely around the blonde's shoulders. Holding Tweek there, like he was worried the boy was going to run away if he didn't, Craig asked, "What's wrong?"

_Oh god, I can't answer that, can I?_  Shivering in the Noirette's arms, Tweek reached his own spindly limbs around and squeezed Craig's torso. "I'm just tired of th-the game, today," the blond mumbled, hiding his face. That much was true, he didn't want to pretend to be in a world where Craig was going to replace him with a wife that was pretty and wonderful and  _everything that Tweek would never be._  It made him feel sick to his stomach to think it, but he just hung on tighter to Craig in the hopes that it would make the thoughts go away.

"Okay," Craig said, his voice as even and flat as ever. "But what's wrong?"

Clenching his teeth hard enough that the creaked, Tweek forced himself to take a step back from Craig, slipping out of the boy's grip. Looking up at him, the blond took a deep breath and held it for a moment as he searched the Noirette's face for the worry he'd heard behind the boy's words. It was there, as was something like guilt and quite a bit of confusion.  _That's my fault._  Letting the breath go, Tweek clenched his fists and put on as happy a smile as he could manage.

As an almost unbearable sadness washed over him, Tweek twitched and said, "N-nothing's wrong. It's just…"  _Say it. Say it otherwise it'll never be true._  "Even though this is a weird way to start a relationship -ghn- I h-hope you and Bebe are happy."

Even as his chest felt like it was being crushed and the queasy feeling surged up once more, Tweek felt something like the ghost of relief flow through him as Craig's eyes calmed and he ruffled Tweek's hair easily. "Thanks, dude," he said, tipping his chin up and looking as strong as ever. "Now, do you want to go to my house and watch Red Racer?"

All Tweek could do was nod, because he didn't trust himself to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWEEK IS SO JEALOUS OMG
> 
> Poor little boy, he just wants Craig to be happy and he's not even thinking about himself. He really should, he deserves to be happy as well, wouldn't you say?


	61. His Beautiful Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first off, I apologize for last chapter. I intend to fully follow through on that promise of angst in my usual... fabulous fashion.
> 
> Second, yes, this chapter is really long. I'm very sorry for that as well.
> 
> Third, well...
> 
> Enjoy.

_**[I'm glad he's fine, I was a little worried. Watch out for him Craig.]** _

Putting down his phone with a soft sigh, wishing he'd told Token that he too was worried about Tweek, Craig looked over at the blonde's Lego table, where the boy was slouched over, sound asleep. He'd probably be awake within the next hour, but for now, he was catching up on what little sleep he could. The boy's cheek was pressed against his Legos, the pieces poking into his pale flesh. Craig didn't doubt that it was uncomfortable. He really wanted to just get up off of Tweek's bed and carry the boy the short distance to his bed so that he could get some proper sleep. But he didn't dare move him, because the moment he did, Tweek would wake up.

He didn't want that, Tweek desperately needed sleep.

To be honest, Craig wished he could fall asleep. The day had been stressful, he didn't want to deal with it anymore. If he fell asleep, then it would be over, but he couldn't. He was wide awake and probably would be for the next few hours. Glancing at Tweek's clock, which read ten o'clock, Craig blew out a breath and glanced back down at his phone.

They'd stayed at his house for several hours after the whole peace treaty fiasco. Together, they'd watched Red Racer until Craig's mom had come home, then they'd both left to go to Tweek's house. After scrounging up something from the fridge for dinner, something that Craig had a feeling the boy did often, they'd ended up in Tweek's room, where Tweek had babbled on about his new theory involving solar flares and brain waves until he'd simply passed out on his table. Heck, he'd fallen asleep mid-sentence, his mouth still hanging open in the memory of whatever he'd been talking about.

Craig really wanted to pick the boy up and put him in bed where he belonged, instead of letting him lay there imprinting Legos into his face while he slept, his mouth opened like he'd wake up at any second and just start talking again. If Tweek was in bed, then maybe Craig could convince himself to be tired as well, just so he could go to sleep along with the boy. Though maybe he'd just stay up, staring at the ceiling and wishing for sleep some more.

_I'm going to start dating Bebe…_  The whole day still hadn't entirely computed. He knew that Clyde was pissy at him about it, but Craig wasn't sure what he was supposed to do about that so he had settled on ignoring it. And he also knew that it was stressing Tweek out but he didn't know why and he didn't know how to fix it so he was sort of trying to ignore that too. It wasn't working well, but Tweek had told him that he was fine so Craig felt like he should try to take the boy at his word.  _He doesn't exactly lie after all. Maybe I'm imagining things._

Well, even if Tweek wasn't upset Craig certainly felt like he had several reasons to be. He hadn't been expecting Kenny's plan, he hadn't been expecting Wendy to agree with it. He definitely hadn't foreseen how uncomfortable the whole thing made him feel but he wasn't sure he could do anything about it. At least Bebe wasn't that bad, but he still didn't like it.  _Maybe it'll be better than I think._

Beside him, his phone buzzed. Glancing down, Craig found a new message from Token waiting for him.  _ **[I've been thinking, since you and Bebe are going to start dating, you should probably get to know each other.]**_  It was almost like Token knew what was going to make him feel worse. Grinding his teeth, trying and failing to make himself treat this like it was any other stupid thing, Craig quickly sent a text back.

_[Why are you bringing this up at 10 pm dude?]_

Really, he should be happy. Even Tweek thought that Bebe and he would make a good couple. If Tweek thought it would go well then Craig was pretty sure that it would. He still didn't like it though. He just didn't want to date Bebe, that was it.  _Why couldn't they have chosen Clyde, then at least I wouldn't be fighting with my friend._  No, it was like he was arguing with his brother, to be honest. Which really did make it worse.

Another buzz.  _ **[Because Kenny just sent me her number. Come on Craig, it's the least you can do. Please make an effort here.]**_  Glancing over at Tweek, who was still sound asleep, Craig tugged his chullo down over his forehead. There was something about the idea of texting Bebe while he was at Tweek's house that felt wrong, but since everything else felt wrong right about then, Craig wasn't exactly in any place to be making any sort of assertions as to what was and wasn't a good idea.

_[Fine.]_  Looking at the number that Token sent to him, he quickly copied and pasted it into a new message. Eyes naturally returning to Tweek, Craig spent a moment noticing the way the boy's breath stirred the soft golden hair around his face before looking back at his phone and reluctantly texting Bebe.

_[Hey.]_  After a moment, Craig took a second look at his message and nearly groaned. Because Bebe probably had no idea that the random 'hey' she'd just gotten was from him so why would she answer. For a moment, Craig almost didn't say anything else in the hopes that he could pass this off as an attempt at  _talking_  but a moment later he realized that there was no way he'd be able to get that by Token, so he added another text.

_[This is Craig, btw]_  Squinting at the message, Craig let out a soft breath before adding,  _[Token gave me your number.]_  Satisfied that he'd done his due diligence, Craig quickly sent a text to Token telling him that he'd texted Bebe before dropping his phone and leaning back on Tweek's bed, feeling the frankly impressive number of pillows slowly close around him like some sort of quicksand. He wasn't sure why the boy needed so many pillows, but then, he'd seen some of the pillow forts Tweek had made. They wouldn't have been half as epic if the boy had possessed fewer squishy feathery lumps.

It sort of amazed Craig that every single pillow was the same color as Tweek's shirts. All that same green that paled in comparison to the boy's vivid green eyes. Craig was pretty sure if he dropped Tweek into the pillows and the boy was wearing one of his green shirts, then they'd never be able to find the boy again.  _So I suppose I shouldn't let go of him if he's here, otherwise he'll probably panic because he doesn't want to suffocate._ If he kept ahold of Tweek, the boy would feel better.

He'd do it, he wouldn't complain about something like that. It was Tweek.

From beside his leg, Craig's phone buzzed again. Sitting up, wiggling so he could escape Tweek's pillows, Craig pawed at the device, expecting it to be Token. Looking at the screen, he nearly dropped it because, in fact, it was Bebe.  _Why is she up this late?_  Was his first thought, quickly followed by,  _well I am so I guess it makes sense…_

Opening the text, Craig read,  _ **[Hey! You're still up? Isn't it getting late?]**_  Snorting, Craig raised his eyebrows.  _Looks like we're both thinking the same thing._  Briefly, he wondered if he should say something back along the lines of her being right and that he should just go to sleep, but considering he'd have a better chance of coaxing Tweek to get in bed and actually go to sleep if he was still awake, Craig dismissed the idea.

_[You're awake]_  he pointed out. Eyes traveling over Tweek's room, Craig wondered if the boy ever bothered to pick up or if he simply shifted the mess around. Every time he came over, it seemed like the scene had changed. Though Craig couldn't claim to be especially neat, he at least kept things in vaguely the same place. Tweek on the other hand apparently used his sleepless nights to reconstruct his room over and over again.

Then again, it made sense that it was always changing. Entire civilizations had been raised and destroyed in Tweek's room, constructed from the mess and then returned to it when the blonde's attention shifted. Sometimes, if Craig came over and was especially silent, Tweek would start telling stories, acting out entire lifetimes with whatever stand-in for people he was using that day. Always, he'd have those stuttered words, and little twitches. Occasionally his monsters would intrude into the plotline, but his stories still had complex emotions within them. They had depth, life,  _death._  If Craig could have written them down, they would have been novels.

It was a shame he only ever remembered bits and pieces. A character here, an interesting twist there. He had a few complete scenes committed to memory, but he could never remember the whole story. Only Tweek could keep so much in his head.  _It's no wonder he doesn't sleep, there's too much in his head for him to ever rest._

Glancing down at his phone, Craig realized that Bebe had texted him back already. Almost irritated that she'd interrupted his train of thought before deciding that annoyance was ridiculous given the circumstances, Craig read the messages.  _ **[That's true.]**_  then  _ **[I guess today was a little wild, I have a lot on my mind.]**_  Blinking at the screen, Craig wondered if he was supposed to ask or not. He didn't speak girl. Tweek, at least, would usually just tell him if he waited long enough, Craig just had to ask the question he wanted to be answered and the boy seemed to naturally be willing to explain what was wrong. After having a sister for six years, he knew that girls seemed to be hell-bent on making everything more complicated.

So he decided not to ask and instead just hit right at the heart of what he felt was the only thing she could possibly be talking about.  _[We're going to start dating? Yeah, McCormick is a fucking piece of shit]_  It was only after he'd set the message that he belatedly wondered if perhaps he should watch his mouth. Then again, he'd heard Bebe curse so did it really matter?

He was going to put his phone down again, but she texted him to quickly. Blowing out a breath, Craig read it.  _ **[He has reasons, I'm sure.] [How's Tweek handling it?]**_  The second message made a weird feeling get stuck in Craig's chest. Though he didn't know why, he suddenly felt a weird scratchy heat around his collar because no, it was his job to worry about Tweek. Clyde and Token were allowed to worry too but why was Bebe asking? It wasn't like her and Tweek were friends. Since when did random people get to pretend that they had Tweek's best interests at heart when they'd all literally ignored him for going on five consecutive years?

Swallowing in an attempt to dismiss the thoughts, Craig quickly texted back,  _[Why?]_

_**[Because he seemed upset about something, I don't think he likes the arrangement.]**_  Resolutely shoving that scratchy heat back down where it belonged, which was not in his brain, Craig let out a terse breath and stared over at Tweek. Almost at once, he felt that pressure in his head lessen. There was something about how utterly peaceful Tweek looked, his hands curled into loose fists and pulled in to his head and his usually contorted face free of stress and fear, that calmed Craig.

Accepting that Bebe was just asking a question and being upset about it was stupidly irrational, Craig quickly tapped out a  _yes_  before deleting it and instead writing,  _[Something's bothering him, but he says that it's got nothing to do with this]_  Though he didn't know what possessed him to answer that honestly, Craig decided it must be a side-effect of being shoved together with Bebe like they had been. Besides, if he was going to date her, he should probably at least make the effort to trust her, if only on the basis that she still hadn't done anything to make him not trust her.

_**[Are you with him?]** _

Furrowing his brows slightly at the weird question, Craig spent a moment trying to figure out if there was some sort of angle to the question before remembering that this wasn't Kenny and not everything Bebe did had an ulterior motive.  _[Yep.]_  Then, for whatever goddamn reason, he snapped a picture of Tweek sleeping and was about to send it before giving it a second look and just saving it. No, Bebe didn't need to see Tweek sleeping, that was… Special? Because Tweek didn't sleep often, so Craig figured the boy was only willing to fall asleep when he was around people he trusted, so sending a picture would be weird and rude. Instead, he just quickly added,  _[I'm at his house, he's asleep right now]_

Almost at once, Bebe texted back.  _ **[Oh wow, I didn't know he slept!]**_  A second later, he got a flurry of texts, almost like the girl was flustered.  _ **[I mean] [I knew he slept] [Everyone sleeps?] [But Tweek seems like he would stay up all night.]**_  Again, Craig glanced over at Tweek and his lips twitched upwards before he remembered that he actually had to answer Bebe.

_[He doesn't sleep often, but I guess his body needs to catch up at some point]_  As he stared over at Tweek, watching the way the boy's hair quivered with his breaths, Craig found himself adding,  _[Usually when I spend the night he just stays up. I've only seen him sleep a few times.]_

_Why am I talking to her about this?_  But Craig found that it came naturally, talking about Tweek. It wasn't as if he didn't already talk about the blond. Sure, typically it was Token or Clyde that he was talking to about it, but they had a habit of telling Craig to stop talking about Tweek in some way or another. Whereas right now, it felt like Bebe was genuinely curious.  _I'm sure Tweek wouldn't mind if I told her about him…_  Well, there was no point in feeling guilty about it, not when it was something so innocuous.

Looking back at his phone, Craig read Bebe's new messages. The first was just a surprised looking emoticon, the second said,  _ **[Doesn't he get bored with no one else awake?]**_  Snorting, Craig's eyes traveled around the room once, taking in all of the things that made Tweek's room  _Tweek._

_[He's never bored]_

_**[What does he do all night then?]** _

Craig took a moment to try and formulate any sort of answer to that question, before realizing that there was only one appropriate response.  _[Everything]_

_**[Come on, name one thing.]**_  Letting out a puff of air, Craig looked around the room, trying to find just one thing that he could name. Noticing the remains of a mildly familiar towering structure made of nothing but popsicle sticks, a bit of super glue and nothing more, Craig carefully shifted out of Tweek's bed and carefully padded over to the buildings.

Snapping a picture of the building, Craig sent it before adding,  _[This is the remains of an ancient civilization called Tandaum, I think]_  Struggling to pick out the bits of Tweek's elaborate story that he remembered, Craig continued,  _[They lived off the air, but a rival species happened to breathe out something other than air, so the people were poisoned and most of them were killed off]_  Even texting it out made it sound absolutely insane, but he couldn't help but keep going.  _[The remaining people ended up mutating into monsters]_

_**[He told you this story?]**_  Craig didn't blame the surprised emojis Bebe had added to that question. It was amazing what Tweek could create. There was so much in the boy's mind that even if he had nothing to look at and nothing to do, he could still come up with stories and crazy theories and other wonderous and terrifying things until the end of time.

Unsure how to contain all of that in simple words, Craig just answered,  _[Yeah, among others]_

_**[Do most of his stories end with monsters?]**_  Tilting his head at the question, unsure why the girl would ask something like that, Craig thought back and tried to remember as many of Tweek's tales as he could. Because she had a point, and he knew it. The boy's delusions often did invade even his stories, distorting happy, ordinary lives with cruel demons and grotesque monsters and terrifying aliens. Yet as he thought about it, something else occurred to him.

_[Yeah, there are monsters, but sometimes, there are angels]_  Puzzling over why he'd decided to say that, Craig judiciously stepped around Tweek's breaking tower and moved on, needing to move away from the thoughts that were invading his mind. It wasn't even the words that were making him feel weird, but there was definitely something swelling in his chest that made his heartbeat echo in his ears. Drawing deep breaths in an attempt to calm his racing heart, Craig was almost glad when Bebe texted back.

_**[What other things does he do?]**_  Not willing to question the sudden change in subject, mostly because he was glad for it, Craig looked over Tweek's walls at the drawings that were plastered there. Of course, the boy had a few posters, but even those had been covered up by pencil, crayon and marker sketches of… well, of everything. Walking over to the first one that caught his eye, Craig snapped a picture of the drawing.

_[He draws a lot]_  The picture was one of the weirder ones, one of those pictures that Craig hadn't asked Tweek about. It was mostly crude, black crayon, but under the crayon, you could see creatures. They'd been too obscured to entirely make them out, but their red lines were still there. In the center of it all, there was a tiny spot of entirely blank paper that had been roughly faded out to make it look almost like it was glowing. Originally, he'd sort of assumed there was a figure in that blank white spot, but now that he was closer, he realized there was nothing.

_**[Does he tell you what they're of?]**_  Bebe questioned.  _ **[Do you ask?]**_  Knowing it was about the picture he'd just sent, Craig looked at the drawing and felt that  _thing_  that had decided to take up residence in his chest claw at his throat. When he'd thought there was a person in the white dot, Craig had always assumed it was a representation of Tweek's mind. But there was nothing there, so he didn't get it, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.  _Maybe I should ask…_

But maybe he really shouldn't.

Moving on, Craig answered,  _[Sometimes.]_

_**[Show me another.]** _

Decisively picking a drawing that was just a typical monster, Craig took a picture and sent it. This one was of what Craig had thought was a cat-like creature. Now that he was closer, he could see it almost resembled a fox in shape. Though it was done in two colors of pencil, dark blue and a reddish brown, it was amazing how many details Tweek had managed to cram in. Like the stripes on the whip-like tail, or the ribs and other bones roughly standing out against the creature's body, or the vicious claws that had been filled in with the reddish brown. The creature's mouth was gaping open, but it had no teeth, all it had was stringy looking brow dripping from its maw.

The monster's eyes were gaping pits of red-brown.

_[Most of them are monsters]_  Craig told Bebe, vaguely remembering Tweek's story about how the monster was something that only came out on Easter and how it ate children, traditionally. He couldn't remember its name, something like a Chupacabra, but that wasn't right…

_**[He talks to you about them?]**_  Glancing over at the still-sleeping Tweek, Craig remembered the long rants the boy when on, each having carved a new path in his mind. The boy's words had a habit of doing that, sticking there and becoming yet another tie the Noirette had to Tweek. Maybe he wished that the blond wasn't haunted by the terrifying horrors that he'd chosen to plaster his walls with, but at the same time, he accepted that they were there to stay. All he had to do was learn to live with them now, much like Tweek did.

_[I just ask him to tell me what he sees and he talks about them for hours]_  Clutching his phone a little tighter, Craig was struck by a savage wish to just be able to catch a glimpse of what terrorized Tweek, if only so he'd be able to better comfort the blond. He knew that he couldn't do anything, but he wished that his promise of protection could fully extend to the horrors that lurked in Tweek's mind. No matter how much he ruffled the boy's hair in that weird way he'd sort of adopted or told him that things were fine, the monsters would still come back.

_**[Do you protect him from the monsters?]** _

Staring down at Bebe's entirely innocuous question, Craig clenched his jaw before answering,  _[I try]_

_**[Do you do a good job?]** _

As the clawing in his stomach turned to a sinking feeling, Craig typed back his reply.  _[I don't think so]_

_**[He's sleeping, isn't he?]** _

_[All humans sleep]_

Pushing away the matter, determined to change the subject, Craig moved on to another picture. Choosing this one at random, Craig took a picture of it and set it to Bebe. It was another one of those ones he'd never asked about, mostly because it hadn't seemed like it meant anything in his passing glances at it. Of course, Craig was starting to realize that once he got close enough, Tweek's drawings always started to look different.

He'd always thought that it was just of a small person. It was drawn in heavy marker, just a round head, a rectangular body with softened edges, stick arms and rectangular legs. There was nothing remarkable about it from a distance, but now that he got closer, he noticed that around the figure, erased, were round heads. He called them heads because he was pretty sure that all of them had eyes. But they'd been erased, leaving nothing but the figure behind. All of the heads were facing the little person.

_**[I can understand why he doesn't sleep much I guess.]**_  Bebe commented. Feeling mildly skeeved out by the drawing, Craig moved on, needing to put distance between himself and the uncomfortable thoughts that kept creeping up in his mind.

_[He's got a lot on his mind]_  Craig answered back, aware that the statement was vague but unsure if he wanted to go into detail. He didn't understand most of Tweek's especially strange drawings, but he was starting to wonder if he even wanted to.

_**[Show me one more.]**_  Craig considered telling her no, but he found himself looking for a new drawing regardless. Moving closer to where Tweek was sleeping, Craig finally found a drawing that wasn't of a monster. Before he could decide against it, Craig took a picture and sent it.

He'd honestly never seen this one and he had no way of knowing how old it was, but there was something about it that struck him as familiar. It was of a person's upper body, or at least, Craig thought that the shape looked sort of humanoid. Now that he was studying it, Craig realized it was one of Tweek's most detailed. This wasn't one of his feverish sketches he did when he was in the middle of a panic attack, this drawing looked like he'd spent time on it.

Or, at least half of it was detailed. On the right half of the paper, there was a face of sorts. It had all been done in silvers and bronzes and the features were hard to make out. The reason for this was the fact that the half-face was made of what looked like gears. He wasn't sure if any of them interlocked, or even if there was anything driving them, but it looked like Tweek had piled gear on top of gear until the person was entirely filled out. The only thing that wasn't done with gears was the oval left for the dark-blue eye.

It would have looked really cool, but the left half of the person was nothing but melting browns and golds. Like someone had taken a blow torch to the gears and they'd all flowed together like crayons under the hot sun. It was a weird, goopy mess, and it made Craig feel strange.

_**[Are those wings?]**_  At Bebe's questions, Craig took a second look at the drawing to find that she was right. Behind the bust, draw in cream-colored pencils and crayons, were rough wings, like they were sprouting from the person's back.

_[I told you, he talks about angels too]_  It was the only response he could come up with. He wasn't sure if it was satisfactory, but it was what he was going with.

Moving slightly away from the drawing, and closer to Tweek again, Craig quietly walked around the boy so he could see his face. He was still sound asleep, his coffee forgotten and growing cold beside his hand. There were many half-finished creations laying scattered across the table, but Craig was having trouble looking away from Tweek long enough to examine them.  _He'll probably wake up soon…_  So instead he just chose to stare at the blond and marvel how the creature that was Tweek motherfucking Tweak ever managed to close his eyes when his world was so intensely vivid and terrifying.

Feeling his phone vibrate once more, Craig was taken by surprise at Bebe's next query. He even had to read it a few times before it even made sense.

_**[Do you believe him?]**_  It took him a long time to even know what Bebe was talking about, but it dawned on him when his eyes shifted to the drawings surrounding him. Before he could act on this information, Bebe sent him another message.  _ **[When he talks about his monsters, do you think they're real?]**_

_[Yes]_  Staring down at his own answer in mild surprise, Craig realized that what he'd said was true. Typing out the the thoughts as they came to him, the Noirette continued,  _[Tweek sees them, he believes in them, so I do too] [They're real after all, we just can't see them] [People always tell him they aren't real, but I think they're more real than most of the people in this fucking town]_

Even though he'd stopped himself before, Craig ended up taking a picture of Tweek and sending it to Bebe.  _[I know he's fucked-up, but so are all of us]_  Taking several deep breaths, as if what he'd just said had actually taken energy from him, Craig took a step back from Tweek and tugged his chullo down over his forehead. That lump in his chest was making it hard to breathe, but he ignored it, it was just another one of those things he couldn't change.

_**[He looks cute like that, asleep.]** _

Without even thinking, Craig agreed,  _[Yeah, he does.]_

_**[I should probably go to bed and leave you alone.]**_  Bebe told Craig at last. Glancing at the clock, which now read eleven, Craig didn't blame her in the slightest.  _ **[Besides, I feel like I'm intruding. You're at his house, you probably should be paying attention to him.]**_  Remembering his earlier misgivings and how accurately this reflected them, Craig snorted softly.

_[Yeah, night I guess]_

_**[Goodnight~]** _

No sooner had Craig slipped his phone into his pocket did Tweek's head suddenly jerk upright. As if he'd never fallen asleep, Tweek twitched and continued, "And -ngh- that's really why the sun does stuff like that, b-because our programs are glitching out. Jesus man, I'm telling you, th-the aliens are controlling us! They want to harvest our brains!" After he'd finished, the boy abruptly rubbed his cheek and looked around, as if the fuzziness of sleep was only just now setting in. "W-wait, what?"

For a second, Craig just stood there watching Tweek silently. The boy's hair was flatted on the side of his head that had been lying on the table, making him look weirdly lopsided. Just as Craig had predicted, there were little pink indentations of legos in the boy's cheek, each of them standing out starkly against his ivory skin. His eyes too were still sleepy, like dawn slowly spreading out over a green mountain range.

Remembering that he had to say something, Craig cleared his throat and stepped forward. Ruffling the boy's hair, returning it to its normal shape, the Noirette calmly said, "You fell asleep." His voice sounded weirdly distorted after having not used it for so long. "It's fine dude. But you should probably go to bed or something."

Nodding, that lost expression slowly clearing from Tweek's face, the boy said, "I -ghn- guess."

Craig just stared at the wall and once again decided that this day had gone on for far too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, I think we all needed that.
> 
> So, because I love to be nosy, my question for you today is more of a challenge really. There were four drawings in this chapter, I'd love to see if you guys can figure out what they all mean. One of them is just a reference, but the others require a bit of thought. I would love to see what you all think they mean. Technically, there are no wrong answers. If you guess them all correctly, I'll post another chapter today (^з^)-☆
> 
> Bonus points if anyone draws one of them...


	62. Sweet Nothings, Nothing's Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I would like to make it clear that it's not fair that everyone's interpretations of the drawings were cooler than mine. Like, I was pretty fricken proud of my ideas and then _boom_ everyone else just DECIDES TO BE AWESOME. Again, I find this unfair.
> 
> But anyway~
> 
> So my ideas for what the drawings meant is as follows:
> 
> The first one, with the black covering monsters with only a small, empty circle of white in the middle is sort of a two-part drawing. Craig was actually right when he thinks that it's a representation of Tweek's mind. There are the monsters done in red underneath which are of course the monsters that hunt Tweek, but then there's the black over them because sometimes he doesn't know if they're real or imaginary because they're always hiding in the dark. The circle of white in the middle is meant to represent the bit that Tweek understands. That's him. Why is it blank? Because sometimes Tweek can't tell if he's even real or not. The delusions have become more substantial than him.
> 
> The second one, with the fox-like creature SOMETHING LIKE A CHUPACABRA THAT ONLY EATS CHILDREN ON EASTER (oml the hint I gave you is so big how did you not all get it??) is a Jewbacabra. It's a direct reference to the episode where Cartman convinces the people running the easter egg hunt that the creature called the Jewbacabra was coming for all the children that weren't Jewish... Good episode. Watch it. Anything, where Cartman ends up in a bunny suit crying, is golden in my book!
> 
> The third one, the one with the small, very boldly outlined figure in the middle and the erased, larger heads around it, is another complex one, though not as complex as the first. The figure in the middle is clearly Tweek. Though here, he sees himself as being very present, while the people around him are fading into the background, yet they're still watching. I think this is kind of a representation of how he felt growing up, with his parents, teachers, and other kids at school always watching him but never being there for him. I'm sure if he were to draw it now, Craig would be there with him.
> 
> The last one I think most everyone got. It is indeed Craig, our wonderful clockwork angel. Complete with gears (that don't all line up) and wings that are almost invisible, but definitely there. I think that the fact that half of the face is melting is meant to represent all of the things that Tweek sees weighing on Craig and slowly wearing him down, as well as the fact that he does see Craig as broken, even if he's mostly perfect.
> 
> But again, those are just my interpretations and honestly, some of the stuff I saw from you guys was way way better.
> 
> There's a bunch of art that I need to link to, but I'll do that at the bottom because URGH THERE'S JUST NOT ENOUGH ROOM FOR ALL OF YOUR AWESOME UP HERE.
> 
> Enjoy.

Bebe had really pretty hair.

Tweek really didn’t have any sort of comparison. He didn’t often look at hair. His own was hideous, Craig’s was always covered, he was usually staring at people’s feet rather than dare look them in the face. But right now, he had a pink, flowery comb in his hand and Bebe’s hair in his twitching hands as he carefully tried to pick out the tiny snarls that seemed to magically appear in her soft curly hair.

He wasn’t exactly sure how he’d managed to get this job, sitting in front of Token’s fireplace with the other girls who were helping Bebe get ready. It wasn’t like he’d asked to help doll Bebe up for a make-believe wedding that felt awfully real, no, he’d just wandered through Token’s side door and the girls had beckoned him over, insisting that he stay. It had been mostly Bebe who had convinced him, staring at him with those calm happy mocha eyes as she insisted that he’d be _so_ much help if he stayed.

Considering the fact that if he went outside again, he’d probably only end up feeling more sick, Tweek had reluctantly agreed. Now he was getting to stare at Bebe’s hair and marvel at how wonderful it was. He could sort of understand why Clyde had been sighing about her _golden curls_ now, they were very soft and definitely every bit as pretty as the girl who owned them. When he was focused on this task, careful not to let any of his violent twitches pull on her hair unnecessarily, he didn’t have to think about Craig or the wedding, or even the girl whose hair he was admiring.

 _Jesus, something’s wrong with me._ Whatever it was, it had been bothering him since the very moment that the wedding had been announced and it still hadn’t gotten better. Granted he didn’t feel quite as sick as he had before, but he felt horrible in new ways now so it wasn’t like there was an improvement. Instead of a generally queasy feeling, he’d had cold hard dread lodged in the back of his brain for the last week and a half.

Carefully, he picked out another knot with the edge of the comb before accepting another sparkly flower barrette and adding it to the half of the girl’s head he’d untangled already.

Of course, Tweek reflected, letting out a soft involuntary sound, the dread had turned into something else at this point. Now all he could find were claws in his stomach, making him feel like he wanted to throw up or possibly just cry. He was pretty sure he had an alien growing in his stomach. It was gradually eating him away, picking bits of organs out until he was nothing but a nest for the creature. _Oh god, I’m going to die!_

And the worst part was that the alien seemed to get agitated whenever he was around Craig, so now Tweek was hiding from the boy because apparently he wasn’t allowed to come in here. Maybe Bebe knew and that’s why she’d enlisted his help. Tweek almost wanted to think so, but at the same time, he hated that this whole thing was already dragging him and Craig apart. _All I wanted was to have a friend? Why was that too much to ask?? Did I do something wrong? I bet this is all my fault. If I’d done things differently Craig would never have to get married to Bebe. This is horrible._

“Come on Jenny, isn’t this enough makeup?” Bebe asked with a laugh, pulling away from her friend, who in retaliation bopped her nose with the weird shimmer powder that all girls seemed to own.

“Nonsense! No such thing when it’s you, Bebe. You make the makeup look good, you know??” Jenny insisted, grinning from ear to ear. Bebe let out another giggle, but she still shook her head, like she didn’t believe the girl before her.

Turning around, forcing Tweek to stretch his arm so he wouldn’t lose his place with his combing job, Bebe brightly asked, “What do you think Tweek? Does it look like too much to you?”

The girl didn’t really need makeup, but Tweek couldn’t deny that she looked pretty with it as well. It wasn’t as heavy as the makeup Kenny used, but they had put something sparkly on her lips and more shimmer over her cheeks. He couldn’t tell if she had anything on her eyes, but then, her eyes were beautiful, even without anything so he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to tell the difference, even with makeup.

“Ngh-” Shivering, staring at the girl that was going to start dating Craig with wide, wild eyes, Tweek squeaked, “I th-think you look really nice!” Noticing the other girls staring at them, as if Bebe asking him was somehow questionable, Tweek hurried to add, “I mean, Jesus! I d-don’t know! I don’t –rrr- wear makeup so I’m sure you know b-better!”

“Aww, he thinks you look cute~” cooed Millie, giggling at Tweek’s horrified shout. “I’m kidding Tweek, it’s okay, I agree with you. Jenny _always_ puts too much makeup on people.” Looking at her, spooked that the girls were being nice to him, Tweek just went back to combing out Bebe’s hair. At least that was a task that he understood.

“As long as Craig thinks you look nice, you’ll be fine~!” Annie insisted, going back to adding more glitter to the front of Bebe’s breastplate that she was going to be wearing over the top part of her dress. “Come on though, he’d have to be stupid to think you don’t look pretty!”

“Hey, Tweek!” Heidi pipped up from where she was letting another girl French-braid her hair. “You’re Craig’s friend, do you think he’ll think Bebe is pretty?”

The Alien clawed at his stomach again, making Tweek bite his lip to hold back a whimper. As all the girls turned to him and stared at him, Tweek twitched hard under the pressure beating down on him. Dropping his comb so he could tug at his hair hard, Tweek squeezed his eyes shut tight and yelped, “JESUS! I D-DON’T KNOW!!” Panicking, the boy looked at Bebe’s face and nearly shrieked because oh _god_ why had he said that, it had come out so wrong, what if Bebe thought that everyone thought she wasn’t pretty?? What if she thought that Tweek thought that she was ugly? What if she hated him?? “B-but Clyde thinks you’re really pretty, s-so you must be ohjesusdon’tkillme!!”

“Clyde thinks I’m pretty?” Bebe asked, her eyes lighting up.

“That’s not important,” Red said, cutting through her question. “Everyone thinks you’re pretty Bebe, Craig would have to be stupid not to.”

“I’m honestly really glad that they chose Craig instead of one of those other boys,”  Lola said, looking up from her checklist so she could give Bebe and appraising look. “I mean, honestly Bebe you dodged a bullet. There aren’t that many cute boys in the Human faction.”

“There are a few!” Another girl called out. “I mean, Token’s pretty cute. And Clyde isn’t that bad. And when Kenny’s  not wearing a dress, he’s okay too.” Looking around at then, feeling mildly panicked being in the middle of all the girl talk, Tweek almost screamed when the same girl said, “Don’t worry Tweek, we think you’re just adorable. Like a little fluffy kitten or something.” Unsure what he was supposed to say about being compared to a kitten, Tweek just blinked helplessly at the girls, twitching.

“I bet Craig thinks he’s like a kitten too,” Millie commented, hiding her giggle behind her hand.

“No, he probably compares him to his guinea pig,” Red informed the other girls, rolling her eyes. “He’s so weird.”

“So what do you think about Craig, Tweek?” Bebe asked, turning back around so Tweek could return to brushing her hair. Thankful for the distraction, Tweek instantly started picking at the remainder of Bebe’s tangles. “You’re such good friends with him, so what do you think about how he looks? Do you think he’s cute?”

Almost choking at the idea of ever calling Craig _cute_ or thinking of him in any similar way, Tweek shook his head frantically, freezing his hands so he wouldn’t hurt Bebe’s hair. “JESUS CHRIST NO!!!” Twitching, Tweek gripped the comb more tightly so he wouldn’t yank on his hair. _He’s not cute, he’s perfect. At least on the outside._ It’s what he’d always thought about Craig, that he looked perfect, but inside was different.

As the other girls all let out sounds of disappointment and went about their other tasks, Bebe softly asked, “Then what do you think he is?” Shivering, Tweek let out a soft squeak before blinking worried eyes at the back of Bebe’s head. “I mean, I just thought that you might know him best.  So what do you like about him? What is he?”

Picking up several of the flower barrettes to distract himself, Tweek fussed with them and mumbled, “Ngh- I- I don’t know, he’s…” Eyes fixing on the glowing jewels on the bow as they caught the light and flashed deep blue, Tweek found himself pushing out the words, “He’s perfect. I mean, h-he’s not always perfect, but on the outside, he looks perfect and on the inside, he’s really w-wonderful and I don’t know if anyone else thinks so –ngh- b-but I do.”

As he spoke, Tweek found some of the horribleness in his chest lessening, like thinking about _Craig,_ not about the stuff that was currently happening with Craig but just the boy himself, made things better. Humming under her breath, Bebe softly said, “You know, I bet he wouldn’t agree with you on that, but I think you know better since you see more clearly than most people.” Blinking, Tweek made a sound of confusion, to which Bebe giggled softly and explained in her pretty, soft voice, “You always see through people Tweek. I think that’s why Craig hangs out with you, among other things.”

Shivering, Tweek quickly went about fixing more barrettes into Bebe’s hair. Just as he was finishing, Bebe said, “What else do you think about Craig?” _What do_ _I think about Craig?? Jesus why is she asking that?? What_ do _I even think about him!?_ When he didn’t answer for a long moment, Bebe turned around and took his trembling hands in her soft palms. “Come on, he’s your friend, so what about him stands out to you?”

Unable to yank his hands away, mostly because he was terrified if he did then Bebe would get mad and tell Craig, Tweek jerked to the side and mumbled, “Lots of stuff stands out. Jesus, th-that’s a big question! I mean, there’s s-so much about him!” Shifting back and forth, rocking nervously, Tweek looked down at his bare torso at the repainted skin that Craig had done just that morning in preparation for the wedding, for which Kenny had demanded they look nice. As the memory of Craig’s gentle fingers gliding over his face cropped up in his mind, Tweek shivered and blurted out, “H-he does my war paint!!”

Carefully putting down Tweek’s hands, almost like she could tell her touching them was bothering him, Bebe picked up the discarded comb and shifted a little closer, her dress fanning out over Token’s carpet. “I figured he did. He’s really nice when he wants to be.” Reaching forward, she gently dragged the comb through Tweek’s hair, pulling on the snarls that were always there.

Biting his lip, looking at the floor as he submitted to Bebe’s attention, Tweek found himself muttering, “Yeah, he’s really nice, just –ghn- n-not to everyone. B-but he’s wonderful to his guinea pigs!!” Remembering what Red had said about Craig thinking of him as a guinea pig, Tweek squeezed his eyes closed and burst out, “Jesus, you d-don’t think Craig actually thinks of me as a guinea pig, d-does he?”

“No, I think you’re like a star to him,” Bebe hummed in return. “Because you’re so full of life and fire and life and you shine brightly to him.” Shivering, unsure what he was supposed to say to that, Tweek just twitched as the girl pulled out a snarl in his hair and went back over the patch of hair determinedly, fluffing it up even more than it usually was before sort of combing it to the side. “How does he treat you, do you think?”

Picking at his nails, Tweek mumbled, “Rrr- H-he sort of… Idontknow, he always stands up to people who are hurting me. Like when Cartman was being horrible, he hurt him. And _JesusIdidn’tlikethat!!_ B-but I sorta did like it too. D-does that make me a bad person??” Hugging his torso, because he’d never said that out loud to anyone, just hinted at it to Craig, Tweek half expected Bebe to tell him he was horrible and that she never wanted to see him again.

But instead, the girl just kept combing out his wild hair. “That doesn’t make you bad. It’s normal to want to see the people who hurt you get what they deserve.” _Normal._ Even Craig didn’t call him normal. Tweek knew he wasn’t, knew that Craig’s idea of him was the most accurate, but he still liked that dream of his being spoken by the calm and collected Bebe. “Do you think he does a good job? At protecting you?”

Forgetting the fact that she was brushing his hair, Tweek quickly bobbed his head up and down fervently. “YES!! D-did you know –ghn- h-he got me a shirt that makes the aliens leave me alone!?” Stilling again so she could go back to neatening his hair, Tweek fussed with his pants as he continued, “And- And the monsters leave me alone when he’s around!! I m-mean, they’re still there, but if they came out –grrr- h-he’d fight them! But I think they’re scared of him.”

“Are you scared of him?”

“NEVER!!” Looking up, Tweek’s eyes widened and he looked at the girl fiercely. “Craig would never hurt me!”

“I know. He cares about you,” Bebe said easily as if she could just see what had taken Tweek months to even start to understand and accept. Watching him evenly, the girl continued, “And I think that you care about him too. Right now, he needs that. This whole thing is really confusing, and he needs his friends, you especially.”

Staring at her with barely concealed wonder, Tweek twitched as his brain threw up a million objections. Because he really shouldn’t be around Craig right now, he was possibly horribly sick and he might or might not have an alien in his stomach and what if he passed it on to Craig?? Craig, who was about to get a girlfriend who was pretty and nice and smart and everything Tweek wasn’t! He couldn’t do that to him, that would be wrong!!! But Bebe’s eyes were calm and meaningful and she probably knew what she was talking about so he should listen, right??

“Okay,” Tweek breathed, shivering as he did so. Nodding happily, Bebe got up and pulled Tweek to his feet easily before almost smothering him in a hug that reminded the boy of how Clyde acted when he got excited. Just like with Clyde, Tweek allowed her to do it, unsure what else he was supposed to do.

“Good,” she said firmly, nodding. “Now shoo! I need to finish getting ready!” Fluffing his brushed hair with her hands, Bebe grinned and said, “I’ll see you later, okay??” Before he could answer, he found himself being half pushed, half herded out of Token’s house by Heidi and Red, who kept saying things about how it was bad luck for a bride to be seen right before her wedding by boys and how he needed to remind Clyde that he was walking Bebe down the aisle so he had better be ready.

Stumbling out of Token’s house and into the mayhem that had become his front yard, Tweek darted around different Humans and Valkyries, trying not to get in anyone’s way. He couldn’t find Craig, but he was sure the boy was somewhere. Everything was in utter chaos in preparation for the wedding though, so it was hard to be sure.

All of the kids were dressed in their best. The girls had all put on dresses under their armor, and the guys were wearing clean tunics and pants. Cloaks had been mended and swords had been shined and Kenny had ditched his orange Parka and instead was wearing just his dress. At least, he had been when Tweek had last seen him, which was a while ago, to be honest. He’d been hiding with Bebe for quite some time.

Wandering around, Tweek caught sight of Wendy and Cartman, who were both sitting on thrones at the front, right up near the makeshift altar which Token had somehow thrown together. They were both arguing furiously, sniping at each other before facing forward once more like they couldn’t stand to even look at the other. _They’re so weird, why are they anywhere near each other??? All they’re going to do is fight!!_

Ignoring them because he didn’t need the stress at all, Tweek turned and his mouth simply fell open. Because there he was, standing next to Kenny like he could give less of a fuck. What he’d said to Bebe popped up in his mind because right then, Craig looked nothing short of perfect. He’d been forced to remove his cloak, as well as his hat, but Kenny had given him a rich blue cloak that matched his eyes to replace it and his hair had been neatly brushed and combed so that it swept over his forehead and fluttered slightly in the breeze. Shivering hard, Tweek let out a squeak, because he hadn’t been expecting that. He hadn’t expected Craig to look so amazing and _cool._

Hurrying closer, Tweek almost tripped over the banner that had been left lying across the ground and let out a screech as he nearly pitched forward. At the sound, both Kenny and Craig stopped their conversation for a moment to look up. Feeling utterly stupid, Tweek hugged his sides and looked up at the two of them just in time to hear Kenny say, “And what about Tweekers here?? Come on Feldspar, I’d say he’s adorable, wouldn’t you agree?”

Staring at Tweek with those intense, piercing eyes, Craig clearly answered back, “Yeah, he looks pretty cute.”

_Wait, what??? WHAT?! DID HE JUST?!!!_

Inexplicably, Tweek found his face growing horribly hot, like he was getting a fever. Stopping in his tracks, Tweek suddenly slapped his hands over his face as he felt further heat flood his cheeks and really the rest of it as well. _Oh, Jesus, I have a fever!!_   “Tweek?” At the sound of Craig’s voice, Tweek felt the heat get even worse. This was so much worse than it had been at Christmas, this wasn’t going away.

As he looked up, he found Craig’s brows were furrowed and he was walking over towards him. _OH GOD I’M GONNA GET HIM SICK NO I CAN’T DO THAT!!!_ “Oh god, Don’t get anycloserjesusImdying!!” Not only did he have an alien in his stomach but now he had a fever and it was probably a symptom and he was definitely going to die now.

“Come on Tweekers, it's okay,” Kenny sing-songed, skipping over to him and throwing his arms around the boy’s shoulder, ignoring his protests. Smirking at Craig, who Tweek thought sort of looked like he wanted to kill Kenny, the Princess continued, “You and Fucker are just having a weird chemical reaction that causes flash-fevers. It's very normal and will only happen more as you get older.”

“OH JESUS, REALLY!?!” His screams drew the attention of Butters, who had been walking by, probably on his way to do something important instead of paying attention to Tweek dying, which wasn’t important at all. Shivering, Tweek pushed Kenny off of him and insisted, as he whipped at his hot cheeks, “No, I –ghn- I think I’m just dying!!”

Tilting his head, Butters’ eyes lit up as he looked back and forth between Craig and Tweek, like something wonderful was happening. “Well, I dunno ‘bout that Tweek, t’me, it sure looks like you’re blushin’!” When Tweek only let out a shriek at that because only girls blushed and this clearly meant he was dying, Butters continued, “I think that it means you’re in lo-”

Covering the boy’s mouth with a dainty hand, Kenny happily announced, “No, you're dying Tweeky, maybe you should spend your last moments alive with Craig.” Letting out a shriek at that because Kenny had just _confirmed it,_ Tweek leaped back only to find himself falling backward. Before he could hit the ground, however, the warm arm of Craig wrapped itself around his shoulder, pulling him to his feet.

As the Alien in his chest turned to something that got lodged in his throat, Tweek shivered and looked up at Craig as the boy flipped off both Butters and Kenny, adding his other middle finger for good measure. Giggling, Kenny blew Craig a kiss which the Noirette simply ignored, in favor of pulling Tweek away from the other boys.

Catching Craig’s sleeve as he so often did, Tweek followed the boy, allowing himself to be lead away from most of the mayhem. As he stared up at the boy, Craig turned around and caught Tweek’s attentive eyes, which made the boy squeak. Letting out a soft sigh, Craig stopped somewhere behind the makeshift altar behind the trellises that one of the girls had pulled out of their garage. “You should ignore them,” he commented, scuffing his clean shoes over the ground. “They’re full of shit.” His cheeks turned pink at that, and Tweek had a moment of panic because Craig was clearly catching his disease, before Craig’s cheeks went back to normal.

“I know that,” Tweek mumbled, looking at his own feet. Twitching, he crossed his arms over his stomach as the sick feeling started to return. He hated it and desperately wished it would just leave him alone for a moment, but it wouldn’t. It felt like it was invading everything about his life and it wasn’t fair because why couldn’t he just be happy with Craig??

Sucking in his cheeks, Craig asked, “So where were you?” His voice was as flat as ever, but when Tweek looked up into the boy’s eyes, he could see something in them, like Craig had been looking for him, like he’d been worried when he couldn’t find him. _Even on a day like this, he’s still thinking about me…_

Nibbling on his lip, Tweek quietly said, “I was –ngh- w-with Bebe.”

“Oh.” That was it. Like he was glad that Tweek had been with someone instead of alone. For a moment, Craig just stared down at him, then he moved. Tweek didn’t even twitch as Craig wrapped his arms around Tweek’s head and pulled it close to himself. “It’s gonna be fine, okay?”

In that moment, with Craig, Tweek found himself nodding and saying, “I know.” Because somehow, it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, yeah, this chapter had to be split because I didn't want it to be 7000 words.
> 
> So anyway!
> 
> The first piece of art was by Colliewolf and it's a wonderful piece of Craig as a clockwork angel. I love the way that they did his eye, to be honest, so calm and piercing, while the rest of him is this metallic angel that's sort of melting... Ugh, It's just so wonderful. -->https://colliewolf.tumblr.com/post/169557067843/a-clockwork-angel-craig-repeated-softly-his<\-- Go look at it!!~
> 
> The next one is by Kitkats-for-the-soul and it's of a segment of Craig's conversation with Bebe. They managed to find the one part that really hit home for me, the one where Craig thinks he's not doing enough for Tweek. It's so innocently painful, I just... Ugh. And even better, they have some of Tweek's monsters looming over Craig, which makes it all the more real. -->http://kitkats-for-the-soul.tumblr.com/post/169556971296/you-ever-get-the-feeling-youre-being-watched<\-- Look at it, I beseech you.
> 
> The third was done by the beautiful Purplemushroom105, who accurately summed up my feelings towards chapter 60 tbh. Really though, that entire chapter sort of was Tweek thinking that he was a horrible person so I really feel it. Also, these characters are so adorable, I squeed so loudly. -->https://purplemushroom105.tumblr.com/post/169532295443/teamalphaq-how-dare-you-break-these-boys-hearts<\-- you know the drill darlings, these people need more love showered on them because I feel nothing but love for them and their art.
> 
> Last, but certainly not least, is a badass sketch (are her sketches ever anything else??) by Mianewarcher of Bebe. Our Valkyrie looks so badass in her armor with her bow, I honestly can't even begin to describe how in love with this picture I am. HOW IS SHE SO GOOD AT THIS??? -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169557524635/battle-ready-bebe-valkyrie-costume-teamalphaq<\-- Seriously though, you need to look at this one. It's so cool.
> 
> Ah well, I'll stop babbling. Before I go, I just wanted you all to notice that there's another fic that was inspired by this one by blue_noize. You need to read it, it's only got one chapter but SHOW THEM LOVE THEY DESERVE IT THIS STORY IS GENUINELY GOOD OKAY? Trust me, it's going places.
> 
> Sorry I'm technically posting this a day late, but ahh, some stuff came up that was unavoidable. I'll do better tomorrow.


	63. I Thee Wed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so sad, apparently, there was a glitch with the system last chapter and not everyone got notifications for it. D: Oh well, I hope this chapter does better. Mostly because THERE'S FAN ART TODAY DARLINGS~!
> 
> The first one was done by the wonderful RamanIsAsthetic and it's a beautiful picture of Craig, the clockwork angel. I have to say, this one really hurt. Those tears man, don't make my baby cry. I do that enough for all of us. Even so, I love it so much. Thank you darling~ -->https://ramen-is-aesthetic.tumblr.com/post/169635321476/even-if-youre-broken-youre-still-an-angel<\-- Everyone else, check it out!!
> 
> The second was by our favorite Mianewarcher (seriously, if you don't like her art, wtf is wrong with you???) It's two drawings actually (lucky lucky me~) The first is of Tweek combing out Bebe's hair and can I just say that it's so adorable, that mildly mischievous look on Bebe's face. Honestly, I need to be careful, she's becoming one of my favorite characters. The second is of Craig and Tweek from that moment where Craig hugged Tweek's head. This one fucking broke my heart. I am h e a r t b r o k e n you don't even know. It's the expression on Craig's face, okay? He looks so fucking sad and broken and it HURTS. -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169636082435/semantically-challenged-teamalphaq-new-chapter<\-- so yeah, if you want to squeal because of the fluff and sob because of the angst, go check it out!
> 
> The final piece for today was done by Purplemushroom105 and it's of Craig and Tweek's various ideas of blushing. Honestly, I just loved how Tweek thought that he was dying like "yes, I relate Tweek, I thought I was dying the first time too." And Craig's so damn dorky about the whole thing, and Tweek's so concerned and AHHH I LOVE IT! -->https://purplemushroom105.tumblr.com/post/169641387323/this-is-basically-how-the-recent-chapter-of<\-- Look at this beauty, I _insist._
> 
> Now, on with this 6000 word monstrosity that I had hoped to avoid but couldn't. HUZZAH! 
> 
> Enjoy.

_Why the fuck did I do that?_

Standing there in front of the altar, allowing Kenny to push and pull at his clothing until the boy was satisfied with how he looked, Craig glanced down at Tweek, who was clinging to his sleeve, his eyes darting around nervously. His hair was fluffier than usual, and his eyes were still shadowed, but he was still Tweek, still the same boy Craig had known for several months now.

So what the hell had possessed him to call the boy cute?

Craig had a very small section in his mind for things he found cute. In fact, up until that moment in time, it could be said that there was only one thing that he thought of as cute and that thing was Stripe. Both Stripe #1 and Stripe #2 were adorable, and Craig, who wasn't much for giving a shit about anything, had eventually just accepted that he would always find the creatures cute. But that was it, he didn't think other things were adorable. Other animals were okay, but certainly not adorable, and people were kind of just annoying, so Craig had never used the word  _cute_  to describe anything.

But then Tweek had shown up.

To be honest, even after months of knowing the boy, Craig still didn't have a good way to categorize him. Because if he was being entirely upfront about the situation, he had to admit that Tweek still didn't quite fit into the same category as Clyde and Token. Tweek was his friend, but Tweek was also different. Though Craig would have never said it aloud for fear of worrying Tweek, he didn't think of the boy the same as he did other people.

Tweek was special. Craig didn't tell his friends everything but he'd tell Tweek anything. Well, maybe not everything but he told the boy far more than he was even all that comfortable with. Being around Tweek made him want to admit things and talk about matters that he usually kept as close to his heart as possible. The blond had gone from an entity he sort of noticed every now and then, to the spot of color in an otherwise gray life, to his whole world. And it hadn't even been a conscious thing, but it had definitely happened.

That being said, he'd never thought of Tweek as  _adorable_  before. Because Tweek was another boy, but mostly because why would he ever think a person was cute? People could look  _cool_  and he assumed that someday girls would be  _attractive,_  but people weren't adorable. That was a term he'd sort of just tied to guinea pigs and nothing else. Humans were too annoying to be cute.

But Tweek wasn't just any human and he wasn't even just another one of Craig's friends. Tweek was Tweek and damnit, that made things so much more confusing and Craig  _hated_  being confused.

Then he'd started texting Bebe. At first, he'd looked at it like it was a chore, but to be honest, the girl was more than willing to talk about whatever Craig wanted to. She was unreasonably good at asking questions he wanted to answer. Most of them centered around Tweek, and several of the conversations had taken weirder turns, but it had never been anything Craig hadn't already been thinking, so it didn't feel that weird. The only thing that Craig had ever furrowed his brows at was Bebe's habit of calling Tweek things like  _adorable_  or  _cute_  or  _precious._

And he'd only ever furrowed his brows about it after the fact because he almost always agreed with her. He hadn't ever really thought it out, just furrowed his brows because _why_ had he just agreed to something like that, but it had been true so had it even mattered? He'd just been texting with Bebe, his soon to be girlfriend (a fact he still wasn't comfortable with), it wasn't like she was going to say anything. And so fucking what if he agreed with Bebe when she called Tweek adorable? That was his fucking business.

It was one thing to think something like that, and it was another thing to say it out loud. It was another thing to fully think through what it meant and realize that he had probably made a terrible mistake. Except Kenny had been talking his ear off and Craig had been looking for Tweek and then the boy had shown up and his eyes had been wide and he'd been looking at the Noirette in wonder and that expression was pretty fucking adorable. So when Kenny had asked if Tweek was adorable, Craig had agreed, which is what he  _always did._

So why was he having such an issue with it? Why had Tweek redder than the setting sun and started flipping out? Why did things have to be so fucking complicated?

Okay, yeah, sure, he thought Tweek was adorable. It was very much true, though Craig had only just realized that's what he thought. All those times that Tweek had tried to reach something from the top shelf and had been too short to do so or when he held Stripe and his eyes got really wide and he talked to the creature in a soft voice, or whenever he looked at Craig with those big shining eyes, he'd been fucking cute and now Craig felt confused because Stripe was cute. People weren't supposed to be cute.

But Tweek was the exception and he'd agreed with Bebe that the boy was cute and he'd agreed with Kenny and now he just needed to agree with himself.

He felt mildly like something really big was shifting, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what.

"-but as long as neither of you does anything to embarrass yourselves, you'll be fine," Kenny finished, his voice only just now registering in Craig's mind. Blinking blankly at the boy, Craig earned himself a tired sigh. "Tweeky, be a dear and explain to Fucker what I just said."

"JESUS I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION!" Tweek shrieked, yanking on Craig's sleeve as he trembled beside the taller boy. Sparing a second to glare at Kenny, who only became more of a shit the more princess-y he got, Craig used his free hand to ruffle Tweek's hair. He missed his usual gloves, the winter chill slowly turning the tips of his fingers blue without them, but he liked that he could feel the blonde's feather-soft hair slip past hand.

"Don't worry about paying attention to him," Craig commented to Tweek, as though Kenny wasn't there at all. "He's full of shit." As Kenny let out a squawk of indignation and Tweek screamed something about not  _saying things like that oHGOD!_  Craig simply let the thoughts that had been swirling about in his head settle. He'd ask Bebe about it later, if it was normal to think that Tweek was adorable, kind of like Stripe but in a different way. Right now, he had more to worry about.

Puffing out a lady-like breath, Kenny crossed his crinoline covered arms and pulled a pout that was accentuated by his lipstick covered lips. "For you information Feldspar, this is very important. You are about to get married!" At the words, Tweek jerked horribly, which as usual made Craig's stomach drop just that much more. He still didn't like that he was going to have to date Bebe, though he'd mostly come to terms with it anyway. But Tweek, for all his insistence that he was perfectly happy with Craig and Bebe getting together, seemed to only get more upset about it. Craig wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, other than try and be there for the boy. But even that wasn't working very well.

After all, hadn't it been just earlier that day that Tweek had decided to find Bebe instead of staying with Craig? Squashing the stupid bitter feeling that rose up at that thought, Craig flipped Kenny off and flatly said, "Go bother someone else, Lady McCormick. There's a wedding, I just need to stand here. Fuck off."

"Language!" Kenny exclaimed as if he was offended. Clapping a gloved hand over his mouth, the Princess continued, "I hope you don't kiss Bebe with that mouth!" Frowning at that, the very idea making him feel mildly disgusted, Craig just continued to flip Kenny off while pulling the shrieking Tweek against his side. He didn't blame the blond in the slightest, who actually wanted to kiss girls? Just look at Stan, he threw up every time he tried to kiss his girlfriend. Craig was pretty sure that he didn't want that to happen to him thank-you-very-much.

"I'm not kissing anyone," Craig ground out, the furrow between his brows deepening. "Go. Away." Clucking his tongue, Kenny shook his head but still walked off, heading instead for Wendy and Cartman, who were in the middle of fighting about something, the colors of the flowers, if Craig wasn't mistaken. Satisfied that Kenny was gone, Craig turned back to Tweek, who was staring up at him in fear.

"Ignore him," Craig told the twitching boy, for what felt like the millionth time that day.  _It's like he's hell-bent on ruining my life._  When Tweek just shivered and kept watching him with worried eyes, Craig's usual flat expression softened into a less stony version of itself. "What's up dude?" he asked at last, searching Tweek's face for the answer to his own question.

"Y-you wouldn't actually… You know…" Shuffling his feet, Tweek gripped the handle of his pan, the only weapon he'd been allowed to keep for the ceremony, and shook, almost like he couldn't quite get the words out. Craig wanted to prod, but he knew from experience Tweek did better when he wasn't pushed into something. True to form, a second later Tweek was shoving his hand in his freshly brushed hair and all but screeched, "JESUS MAN –RRR- ARE YOU ACTUALLY GONNA KISS BEBE!?"

Feeling something in him twist at how distressed the matter seemed to make Tweek, Craig let go of Tweek's hand in favor of wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulders. Ignoring the curious eyes of the girls who passed them, Craig calmly told Tweek, "It's okay dude, I'm not going to kiss her. I don't want to."

"B-but what if you do want to?" Tweek whimpered, shivering as he said it. "Oh god, do you –ghn- do you even know what kind of- of diseases you could get from kissing someone!? And it's a girl! Grrr- Jesus, what if they're poison!"

"Guys kiss girls all the time," Craig pointed out, not that he was planning on kissing anyone anytime soon. He didn't exactly see the appeal any more than Tweek, but he at least knew it wouldn't kill him. Momentarily, he tried to picture Tweek in the future, unwilling to date anyone because he still thought he'd get killed if he did, and it made him frown slightly. "Come on Tweek, they aren't poison."

"JESUS YOU –NGH- D-DO WANT TO KISS HER!" Tweek's shriek was muffled by Craig's tunic, which the boy was currently burying his face in. Sighing shortly, Craig ruffled the boy's hair with his free hand, trying to calm him down.

"No, I already told you, I don't."

"Not right now," Tweek mumbled, the words almost being lost to Craig. But he still heard them, and it made his stomach do weird things, especially when Tweek shivered hard and continued, in a suddenly stilted voice, "N-not that there's anything –rrr- wrong with that! B-because you'll be dating, and that's t-totally normal so of course you'd kiss her…"

_Why does he sound like he's trying to convince himself?_  Unsure what he was supposed to do, Craig opened his mouth only to be startled when the sound of Ryan's voice appeared at his elbow. "Princess Kenny is going crazy, I swear." Turning to the boy, Craig found that Ryan had also been forced to comb his hair. Somehow, this made Craig snort because he could just picture Kenny hitting all of Craig's 'groomsmen' with his fan until they complied.

"When hasn't he been crazy?" Craig asked, keeping his arm around Tweek's shoulders, hoping that it would calm the boy down somewhat. "You ready to stand through an hour of this bullshit?"

"Oh come on, don't tell me it's going to be a fucking  _hour!"_  Running a hand through his dirty blond hair, Jack pulled at the collar of his tunic and complained, "I mean, the Valkyries aren't that bad but if I have to listen to the Grand Wizard and Wendy argue anymore, I'm going to hurt something."

"Don't," Daniel advised, tugging on one of his stray brown curls before tucking it back with its brethren. "We're not nearly armed enough to take down all of the Valkyries."

"Oh god!" Tweek spluttered at that, shaking hard and gripping his frying pan tightly. "W-we can't do that! That would ruin all of this! I don't want to fight, I just w-want it to be –ghn- over with!"

"Hear hear!" Ryan agreed, straightening his sword in irritation. "If I have to do this for much longer, I honestly will hurt someone." Moving around Craig and Tweek so he could elbow in between Jack and Daniel, the boy said, "But look on the bright side, it could have been one of us."

"Oh god, don't even say it!" Jack exclaimed, putting a dramatic hand to his forehead as if the very idea was too much for him. "Chained to a  _girl_  like a dog on a leash? Craig, honestly dude, I don't envy you at all. I am  _so_  sorry." Craig rolled his eyes, though he agreed with the other two warriors wholeheartedly. Glancing down at Tweek, the Noirette was surprised to see that he'd stopped twitching so badly. Oddly enough, the boys' conversation seemed to be making the blond feel better.

"It's okay Craig, we'll mourn for you," Ryan confided, grinning from ear to ear when Craig flipped them all off. "Well Tweek, it looks like it's up to us to carry on Craig's memory, now that he's going to be domesticated. It won't be the same without our Thief, but we'll make do, right?"

Shivering, Tweek looked up at Ryan and tipped his chin up. "Yeah, w-we will!"

Speaking as the voice of reason, as he so often seemed to have to, Daniel commented, "He'll still be around. But I'm sure Princess Kenny will have a list a mile long about all the things he needs to do to maintain peace between the Valkyries and the Humans." Glancing behind the other two boys at Tweek, the boy said, "It won't be that bad."

"Still fucking blows man," Jack said, shaking his head as if he was dissatisfied with the situation. Giving a theatrically big sigh, he put his head up and said, "But! Life goes on. When do you think this damn thing is going to start, I'm bored."

As if summoned by these words, Kenny suddenly clapped his hands and stood at the front of the aisle, looking about as if waiting for all the gathered children to be quiet. Once he had everyone's attention, the boy cleared his throat and announced, "People of Zaron, Humans and Valkyries alike. We are gathered here today to witness a historic moment. The wedding of a Human and a Valkyrie, as a sign of unbreakable peace between our two factions."

Turning to the front, so he could look directly at Craig, Kenny smirked and continued, "Today, we will witness the bringing together of Feldspar of the Humans, and Bebe of the Valkyries with Token to officiate the moment." As he said it, Token stepped out from behind the altar, straightening his traditional reverend collar as he did so. "I hope that this will mark the beginning of a prosperous friendship between our two sides."

Fluttering his fingers, Kenny danced off to the side happily, while the others dutifully clapped. Cartman huffed and leaned on his elbow, an action Wendy mimicked in her own irritated way. Ignoring them both, Craig stared at Token, who shrugged and raised an eyebrow as if to say  _what can you do?_  At his side, Craig could feel Tweek twitch horribly, but the boy didn't make a sound.

Before anything else could happen, there came the sound of a flute being played, its tune bright and clear and unmistakably a wedding procession. It was kind of weird not hearing it on a piano, but Craig decided that he liked it just about as much as he would have if it had been played traditionally. As it played, everyone got quiet. Straightening, Craig set his face in its usual deadpan and watched as a little brunette dressed in armor that he registered as Kenny's sister Karen, danced down the aisle, throwing flower petals as she went. It was an unconventional choice, but Craig supposed that it worked well enough.

Beside her stood Butters, the rings Bebe and Craig were apparently using held on a little pillow that the Noirette was ninety percent certain had been stolen from Token's house. He looked very proud of himself, like this was definitely an important job and he didn't want to screw it up. Well, Craig wasn't going to disagree with him. It was probably better than nothing. The moment he'd reached the front of the procession, Butters handed the rings to Craig, who slipped them into the pocket of his trousers.

As Karen skipped off to the side and Butters joined the boys, the Valkyries Craig could only assume were Bebe's bride's maids walked down the aisle. They all looked so sedate and calm, dressed in flowery breastplates and long dresses that sort of all matched.  _Girls are so weird…_  Watching as Annie, Millie, Red, and Heidi all lined up on the girl's side of the ceremony, Craig caught Red's disapproving look and remembered that he still had his arm around Tweek's shoulders. Reluctantly, glaring at the girl as he did so, he removed his arm, letting it slip back to his side. Tweek started shaking harder the moment he did, which made him grit his teeth and attempt to focus his attention elsewhere.

Twisting his head towards the aisle, Craig blinked at the sight of the girl who he was supposed to marry. Bebe had a veil pulled over her face and a long white dress on that was covered in flowers. Her eyes met his and for a second, Craig could have sworn her expression said,  _I'm sorry_  before it cleared and she smiled perfectly as if this was exactly what she wanted.

Beside her, Clyde stood with his arm out so she could grab it. Craig instantly felt some amount of guilt creep up into the back of his mind. His friend looked miserable, even though he was trying to put a brave face on it. Despite his expression, Craig couldn't help but reflect how good Bebe and Clyde looked together. If he hadn't known better, he would have thought they looked like a couple.  _I'm going to kill Kenny for this, that fucker knows he's making us miserable._

Pushing down those thoughts, Craig lifted his chin and watched as Bebe was walked down the aisle by Clyde as though it were nothing. There was such purpose in the way the girl walked; Craig wished he could face this whole thing with the same level of duty. As it was, he could fucking  _feel_  Tweek trembling beside him and it made his insides do uncomfortable things.

As Bebe let go of Clyde's arm so she could walk up and stand next to the other girls, Craig watched Clyde walk back to his seat, rubbing at his eyes as he did so. It made Craig feel like shit, but there wasn't anything he could do about that, so he just stepped forward and faced Bebe with all the certainty he really didn't have.

Clearing his throat, looking between Bebe and Craig as he did so, Token said in a calm voice, "We gather here, in my front yard, to unite this human and this Valkyrie in marriage. The decision of our two factions to marry then was not entered into lightly and was, in fact, the result of a very serious peace talk in City Wok. Today, they publicly declare their private devotion to keep those gathered here from ripping out each other's throats." There was not an ounce of irony in the black boy's voice, which was quite possibly the scariest or most impressive thing Craig had ever seen.

Eyes looking out towards Cartman and Wendy, who were both glaring at him, Token continued, in a very clear and very pointed voice, "The  _essence_  of this commitment is the acceptance of each faction in  _entirety._  As allies, companions, and friends, however unbelievable that might seem." There was the sound of Kenny clearing his throat, to which Token huffed and amended, "It is also about the acceptance that Bebe and Feldspar have for each other as boyfriend and girlfriend."

Tweek squeaked at that, making Craig stiffen. He was suddenly struck by the desperate urge to turn around and pat the boy's head to assure him everything was going to be okay, but one look at Token reminded him that this wasn't a good idea. Taking deep breaths, struggling to ignore the way Tweek's breath was growing uneven with panic, Craig kept his eyes fixed on Bebe, who was actively trying to calm him with her eyes.  _This is bullshit, it's all bullshit._

Drawing in another breath, Token continued, "A good and balanced alliance is one in which neither party is overpowered, nor absorbed by the other. It is one in which neither faction tries to snipe off the other's injured warriors, or sends bigoted remarks through the carrier ravens because of said sniping. The alliance should be one where both give their help and peace freely and without strings attached."

Looking at Craig, his eyes suddenly taking on that glint that said he was trying to figure something out, Token said, "Marriage, ideally, is a sharing of responsibilities, hopes, and dreams." At those words, Craig was suddenly struck by the thought of Tweek. The only person he felt fully comfortable sharing his most wild thoughts and wishes with.  _This is bullshit, this is such_ bullshit. _I can't believe I'm sitting through this._  "It takes a special effort to grow together, survive the shitty parts, and be loving and unselfish through it all."

Craig was pretty sure he wanted to scream.

Tweek sounded like he just might.

Looking away from Craig at long last, Token said, "Do you both pledge to not screw this alliance up any more than the rest of your factions are always going to? Do you promise to respect and at least pretend to act like you like each other for the sake of peace? Do you promise to support and encourage each other, fight together, through winter and probably into spring, through your leaders' stupidity and the attacks of the Elves?"

"Yep," Craig said, popping the 'p'.

Quirking her mouth up in a small smile, Bebe said, in a much more traditional manner, "I do."

Looking behind Craig, presumably at Tweek, who was shaking hard enough that Craig could  _hear_  it, Token frowned before continuing, "Do you pledge to share your ability to coexist with each other and the other assorted benefits of your union with those around you, especially the more obstinate of the parties, so that they may learn from your excellent example of not murdering each other? Do you pledge to be models from which others may copy and carry on this idea of being decent Humans and Valkyries?"

"Sure," Craig agreed, shrugging.

"I do," Bebe said, giggling softly as she did so.

Letting out a sigh, Token said, "May these cheap mood rings we found at the dollar store be blessed symbols of this alliance. As often as either of you remember to actually wear the things, may you not only be reminded of Princess Kenny's terrible taste in jewelry, but also of the vows that you have made and the fact that the future of both the Humans and the Valkyries relies on the strength of your commitment to this game."

Turning to Craig, Token waited for just long enough that the feeling that something was horribly wrong grew in the Noirette's stomach, before saying, "Repeat after me, Feldspar. I, Feldspar, promise to love and support you Bebe, and live each day with kindness, understanding, truth, humor, and passion." Tweek's whimper made Token pause and Craig grind his teeth together. Pressing his mouth into a tight line, Token finished, "With this ring, I thee wed."

Huffing, hating himself just a little more than he had before, Craig reluctantly took Bebe's slim hand, thinking as he did so that Tweek's hand fit in his much better.  _What the fuck?_  Taking a deep breath, rolling the words around in his mouth, Craig sucked in his cheeks before saying, "I, Feldspar of the Human faction, promise to-" _Don't you fucking make me Token, don't you make me._  But the glare on the boy's face was clear, so Craig quickly pushed out in his flat voice, "Promise to love and support you Bebe, and live each day with…"  _Fuck, what was it?_  "Uh, a little less assholishness and a little more… humor? Understanding?"

There was the sound of, probably, Kenny facepalming. Tweek just let out a distressed sound that wrenched at Craig's insides cruelly. Shoving it back down where it belonged, Craig fumbled the rings out of his pocket and struggled to put the ring onto Bebe's ring-finger before saying, "With this mood ring, I thee wed." Pushing the other ring into Bebe's hand, Craig tilted his head up and struggled to keep his face flat, even though he knew everything was showing through his eyes.

Sighing, clearly disappointed with Craig's attempt, Token turned to Bebe, who lifted her own chin and watched him coolly through her veil. "Bebe, please repeat after me. I, Bebe, promise to love and support you Feldspar, and live each day with kindness, understanding, truth, humor, and passion. With this ring, I thee wed."

Looking to him, Bebe picked up Craig's hand and held it, a certain understanding in her eyes that made Craig feel just that much shittier.  _Why is this happening? Why are we doing this to ourselves?_ Very clearly, Bebe said, "I, Bebe, promise to love and support you Feldspar, and live each day with kindness, understanding, truth, humor, and grace." She gave a slight smirk as Token huffed, annoyed that his instructions were being ignored. "With this ring, I thee wed."

Sliding the ring onto Craig's pinky finger, because it wouldn't fit on his ring finger, Bebe kept ahold of his hand. Though he might have imagined it, he was pretty sure the girl's eyes flicked over to where Clyde was sitting before a look of guilt crossed her face. But then it was gone, and Craig wasn't sure it had existed at all.

Holding his head high, Token said, "Go now in peace and don't let Elves kill either of you, sharing the most precious gifts you have- the gifts of your sanity and otherwise normal lives, now turned into pawns for the greater game of Zaron. May your days may be long on this earth, but hopefully not long in this town." Pulling in a deep breath, as if he was having to push himself to say it, Token announced, "I now pronounce you, boyfriend and girlfriend, Human and Valkyrie."

A pause, one that held so much tension you couldn't have cut it with a knife, then, "Husband and Wife."

"AUGH, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!"

Before anyone could do anything, before anyone had even registered what was happening, Tweek suddenly ran off the stage, his hands buried in his hair and his green eyes panicked and wild. Even as Craig pulled his hands away from Bebe's and started to step after the boy, Tweek turned around and yelled, "Rrr- JESUS I HOPE YOU TWO ARE H-HAPPY!" before turning around and tearing out of the clearing, dust and flower petals flying up in his wake.

Suddenly shooting to his feet as well, Clyde grabbed Craig's usual brown cloak and muttered something about wishing the two of them well before fast walking in the direction that Tweek had gone, only breaking out into a run of his own once he'd reached the tree line.

Instantly, Craig started to go after them, only to have Token say, "Feldspar, we're not done yet, get back here." Spinning around, Craig glared at his friend, who gave him a cold look right back, one that clearly said  _you brought this on yourself._  But that was wrong, Craig had just done what he'd been told to do. He'd never had a choice, this wasn't his fucking fault.

So he flipped Token off and growled, "No."

"Feldspar," Kenny's high voice said, warning in the boy's tone. "Do your duty. Don't make this worse than it needs to be. Tweek is with Clyde, he'll be fine."

"Fuck you, I'm going to find him," Craig growled, glaring at the Princess.

"No, you're going to finish this."

"I'm not finishing jack shit!"

"This is our future on the line," Kenny insisted, his eyes narrowing like he was daring Craig to defy him further.

At once, Craig spat right back, "Fuck your future!"

"Feldspar, I'm warning you-"

Suddenly, Bebe's voice cut through both of them. Throwing her veil back, the girl announced, "As Feldspar's  _wife,_  I say let him go. The wedding is done. We're married. Now let him go, for the sake of the future peace of our two factions." Glancing back at her, Craig shot the girl a vaguely thankful look.

Clicking his tongue, Kenny muttered. "Fine. The reception is in Token's basement, apparently. Long live the people of Zaron, I suppose."

Without waiting another second, Craig ran in the direction he'd seen Tweek and Clyde vanish off to. Hardly paying attention to his surroundings, entirely consumed with finding the blond, Craig cursed under his breath as he ran, hating himself a little more every step he took.  _Why did I do this, why did I fucking agree to this? Why is Tweek so upset, I don't get it. I don't fucking understand any of it and it's pissing me off!_  Gritting his teeth, Craig forced those thoughts down, allowing only thoughts of finding Tweek to get through his mental filters.

Hating savagely how big Token's yard was while wishing at the same time that there was snow on the ground so he could at least see where the boy had gone, Craig ran around the corner of Token's house only to almost blast right past the very people he was looking for. Stopping just short of the place Tweek and Clyde were sitting covered by the eves of Token's house, Craig found himself just standing there, unable to make himself take the next few steps towards where they were sitting.  _Just fucking talk to him._  But he couldn't, he could only stare.

Tweek had Craig's cloak wrapped around his shoulders like he was trying to hide from the world. In front of him were Token's dogs, who were all whimpering and circling him, allowing him to pet them while nudging at him worriedly, no doubt sensing his upset. Clyde was just sitting there, a dead look in his eyes as he softly attempted to comfort the blond. "It's going to be okay Tweek, I promise."

"Ghn- B-but I'm such a monster," Tweek whimpered, rubbing behind one of the dogs' ear while he shivered there like he wanted to melt into the ground. "Jesus Clyde, I sh-should be happy or something! Bebe's so nice, and Craig's… Perfect. And they c-couldn't even do anything about it b-but I think I'm dying or something, b-because every time I think about it I feel like throwing up."

Craig desperately wanted to go to Tweek, but the boy's words held him back as icy fingers of guilt locked around his heart.  _So he isn't happy about it. Fuck, I fucking knew it._  He should have seen this, he should have stopped it. Kenny was right, this was his fucking fault. He was the reason Tweek was upset and now he couldn't even do anything about it.

His stomach only sunk more when Clyde gave a broken sounding laugh as he said, "You're no monster Teacup, it's okay. I don't like it either." Reaching forward, he ruffled Tweek's hair, which clearly didn't make the blond feel any better. "But it's happened, so there's nothing much we can do about it."

"I know," Tweek said softly, sounding defeated. "And n-now Craig's gonna forget about us, and he'll forget about me and –ngh- god, m-maybe he's supposed to, because he's got a girlfriend now, b-but-" He shook hard enough that Craig could see the way the boy's limbs contorted. Pressing his back against the tree that he'd been standing behind so he wouldn't have to see Tweek anymore, Craig just listened as he continued, "Oh Jesus, I'm s-so selfish! I c-can't believe I did that. He's gonna hate me. He'll never want to speak to me again."

"He doesn't hate you," Clyde attempted to reassure Tweek.

"HE SHOULD!" Tweek yelled, and Craig could feel things in his chest breaking and cruelly tearing up his insides. Helplessly he rubbed at his chest, trying to make the feeling go away. "I'm –rrr- f-fucked up and disgusting and selfish and I- I don't want him to date Bebe, b-but he's dating her and I can't do anything about it and I don't even know what I'm supposed to do!"

"We just need to be his friends," Clyde said softly. "And we need to support him, and understand him, and be strong, because he doesn't know what he's doing so he'll need all the help he can get."

Unexpectedly, Tweek let out an oddly wet sounding laugh. "Heh, th-that's what Bebe said to me."

"Yeah," Clyde said, giving a sad laugh of his own. "She's really smart, isn't she? I guess that's why I like her so much."

Gritting his teeth together, Craig pushed himself away from the tree and just started walking away, unable to do anything else. Even as numbness spread through his body, leaving him feeling disconnected, like his legs were answering to something other than his brain, Craig walked back towards the wedding. Most everyone had gone inside, likely drawn by the prospect of free food. Only a few people remained, one of them Bebe.

Looking to her, Craig pushed himself towards her, catching her eyes. There was so much understanding in the girl's deep brown eyes, Craig didn't even have to say a word. He just let her walk towards him and look up at him calmly, as she read everything he was thinking through his eyes alone. He was glad he didn't have to speak, he wouldn't have trusted himself to do so.

At long last, Bebe said, "Someday Craig, this stupid game will be over. I promise you, it won't last forever."

Nodding once, Craig cleared his throat and said, "Yeah."

And he hoped to god that it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe ouch.
> 
> That hurt.
> 
> I'm crying.
> 
> *smiles*


	64. Starlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek
> 
> (for once, there's a song for this chapter. Starlight, by Flux Pavilion. The lyrics are perfect)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, to make up for all of the crazy long ones we've been having XD
> 
> There is so much fan art, honestly, I feel like I'm going crazy. I haven't even counted how many there are for today but it's the reason this chapter is coming out late *sob* I just needed to make sure I mention it all!!
> 
> First of all, we have everyone's favorite, Mianewarcher and her wonderful _beautiful_ that I simply don't deserve. This one is of Bebe confronting Kenny from the last chapter and all I have to say is YES QUEEN BEBE IS BOSS!! The other half is of Craig staring at Clyde and Tweek as they pet Token's dogs. Honestly, I cried when I wrote this scene so I pretty much started blubbering the moment I saw it. Her art is the best and if you aren't looking at it, then you're doing something wrong -- >https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169669604280/teamalphaq-semantically-challenged-ch-63-bebe<\-- Do yourself a favor, look at it.
> 
> The second was done by the darling Creekbrat. It's a sweet and simple one of the scene from chapter 45 where they were both sitting in the tree after Craig fucked up. That moment was and still is one of my favorites so the fact that they chose it to draw makes me very happy! Honestly, it's times like this that I feel blessed that people like y'all are my readers. -->https://creekbrat.tumblr.com/post/169656189224/teamalphaq-its-the-tree-scene-i-tried-my-best
> 
> The third was done by the wonderful Splatter-pop. His watercolor paintings are unrivaled in my mind. It's of that moment when Craig said that he thought Tweek was cute and Tweek flipped out. Honestly, I love this so much. Craig looks so often in his blue cloak and nice hair and Tweek IS JUST THE CUTEST BALL OF FLUFF!!!! Jesus, this picture is just so amazing. -->http://splatter-pop.tumblr.com/post/169679788829/i-actually-fucking-love-this-scene-its-so-gay<\-- do yourself a favor and look at it, m'kay?
> 
> The fourth and final one is actually a drawing I'm not sure is for this story. It's also by Splatter-pop, though they didn't tag me so... I don't know, I just have to bring it up because it's honestly so amazing. It's a really detailed painting of Tweek's art wall with Tweek staring up at it. I can't even believe how perfect it is. There's Craig the clockwork angel and the drawing of the darkness and the one with the heads and so many other beautiful pictures that really capture Tweek's mental state. Even though I can't say it's from my story, I don't care. You need to see it regardless. -->http://splatter-pop.tumblr.com/post/169633196934/painting-of-tweek-and-his-messy-wall-of-art-not<\-- Go there, give it love, be awesome.
> 
> But that's enough of me rambling. You're here for a story after all.
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek still couldn't look at Craig.

They were almost to the taller boy's house after a day spent attempting to smile when all he wanted to do was cry. He'd gotten berated by Kenny and Cartman for his outburst during the wedding, both of them had been furious after all. Even Wendy had given him a venomous glare for what had happened. The only reason he'd escaped at all was Craig showing up beside him as always and pulling him away.

But that hadn't made it better. If anything, it had made everything so much worse. Because then he'd had to follow along behind Craig and Bebe ask they talked to people. Even though he'd felt Craig's eyes on him more than once, Tweek hadn't looked up, hadn't dared to meet Craig's eyes, for fear of seeing the disappointment and irritation in them that he knew he deserved. Maybe if Craig had said something to Tweek then the boy would have been able to convince himself that Clyde was right and Craig didn't hate him, but the Noirette hadn't said a word. He'd been entirely silent.

Bebe had talked to him plenty, Tweek had been able to look her in the eye. She was always smiling when she talked to him, and she was clearly encouraging him to smile and be happier, but he hadn't been able to push himself to do anything of the sort. He'd just wrapped his arms around his chest more tightly and felt that much worse. Bebe shouldn't be so nice to him, if she knew how much he wished that she and Craig weren't together, she'd probably hate him, but she didn't know and so she could still smile like he was a decent human deserving of such grace.

But he hadn't looked at Craig, because Craig would see through him to the disgusting thing inside of him that was controlling his actions. The alien that wouldn't leave him alone, the thing that just wanted Craig to be his friend and not be around Bebe. Craig would see it and he'd hate Tweek for sure. Best to just not look at him, best to just stay away.

Then the party had ended, and they'd all headed home. Tweek had expected Craig to walk Bebe home, but instead, the boy had just headed in the direction of Tweek's house, leaving Clyde to walk the blond girl home. Even then, Tweek hadn't been able to push himself to look at Craig.

Now they were walking to Craig's house, Tweek shuffling along several steps behind the Noirette, terrified of what was going to happen. The rest of the day had been so horrible, he wasn't sure how it could get much worse, but he was sure it could. After all, when did things  _not_  get worse in South Park? They literally did nothing but.

Shivering in the cold air, Tweek let out a soft whimper that caused Craig to turn around. Quickly looking down at his feet as his stomach flip-flopped, Tweek twitched and pulled Craig's cloak around himself more tightly. He could feel Craig's eyes on him and it was terrifying. Half of him expected Craig to look away like he'd done every other time he'd decided to stare at Tweek that day, but instead, the boy slowly walked over to him. Hunching his shoulders, Tweek wished he'd just gone home as Craig reached for him.

"You're quiet," Craig commented, running fingers through Tweek's hair slowly. Wishing he could lose himself in that feeling instead of being forced to face reality, Tweek shook and trembled as he shook his head, unwilling to talk. After a moment, Craig followed up his statement with a question. "What's up dude?"

When Tweek still didn't answer, Craig let out a short breath. The blond expected this to be the end of it, but instead, he found a finger being twitched under his chin. Unexpectedly, Craig lifted his head, tilting it upwards till Tweek could do nothing to avoid looking into the taller boy's eyes. Letting out a yelp, Tweek tried to get away but his body wasn't quite responding to him, it just left him there, shaking, unable to look away from the very person causing him so much strife.  _Jesus, he's gonna see! He's gonna read my thoughts and he's going to hate me for them!_

But Craig didn't shove him away in disgust, he just took a deep breath and said, as though he'd read his thoughts and didn't care, "I'm sorry about today." Tweek shivered at those words but didn't speak, unsure what he would have even said. "I know it sucks." Letting his hand fall from Tweek's chin, Craig tugged on his chullo, which he'd finally been given back, and looked away. "It's just a stupid game though, we'll get through it."

A breath fleeing Tweek's lungs, the blond twitched and muttered, "Okay." It still hurt, but somehow, knowing that Craig didn't hate him made it better.  _Maybe he can't read my thoughts…._  Maybe he could just ignore the alien and all of the stupid things he wanted to say about Craig dating Bebe and eventually they'd go away.

Drawing in a quick breath, Craig suddenly continued, "I never wanted to date her, it just sort of happened." The words made Tweek shiver, because hearing that Craig didn't like it either did something weird to his insides. "But…" As if he were struggling with what he was going to say, the Noirette sucked in his cheeks before settling on, "I'm not going to forget you or Token or Clyde. Bebe's just… there. You're way more important."

Like he'd said his piece, Craig suddenly turned around and grabbed Tweek's hand before starting towards his house once more. Stumbling along behind the taller boy, now unable to take his eyes off of him, Tweek let those words sink in.  _He's not going to forget me… I'm more important._  Though he'd sort of know it was what he wanted to hear, he honestly hadn't expected Craig to ever say it. Sure, it didn't make everything better, but it made some of the pain in his chest lessen and the burning behind his eyes he'd been feeling since the wedding go away.

As Craig pulled him up to his front steps, he fumbled the key out of his pocket and opened the door slowly, as if cautious of something, but then he pushed it open more quickly and pulled Tweek inside. Tripping over the threshold, Tweek sort of just expected the warm, strong arm that looped around his chest and kept him from falling.  _I wonder if he'd catch Bebe like that…_  Well, maybe he would, but that didn't mean he'd stop being there for Tweek. Even though it hurt, he tried to focus on the good things instead of the bad.  _Because Craig needs me to be his friend right now._

Following the boy up to his room, hardly paying attention to Ruby, who poked her head out of her room so she could stare at him, Tweek huddled up behind the boy as he opened his door and allowed him to enter before closing the door behind him. "Fuck," Craig muttered, as soon as it was just the two of them. "It's been a long day."

"Y-yeah," Tweek agreed, shivering. "S-sorry for… For everything that happened," he apologized as he watched Craig go over to Stripe and check his food and water. Wrapping his arms around his stomach, that horrible feeling he'd had when he watched Craig and Bebe hold hands and say they loved each other rise up in him once more, Tweek shut his eyes and pushed out, "Ngh- I didn't m-mean to-"

"Nah dude, it's alright," Craig assured him, petting his guinea pig through the bars of his cage as he spoke. "No one blames you for it."

"Cartman and Kenny do," Tweek pointed out, twitching.

"I don't." Getting to his feet, Craig rolled his neck as he started taking off the various layers of his costume. Digging around in one of his drawers, Craig tossed Tweek his Nasa tee-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that probably wouldn't fit him. "That whole thing was fucking horrible. It's shitty that you had to sit through it."

"It wasn't like y-you could change it…" Tweek shuffled his feet, looking down at Craig's clothing as he twitched and shook. Craig kept moving around the room, getting dressed, but Tweek couldn't bring himself to move much. "Besides –ghn- y-you and Bebe are going to be happy."

Craig froze at those words, before pushing himself back into movement. "Yeah, I guess." Glancing up at the boy, Tweek found him already dressed in his pajamas. With that galaxy cat shirt and those fuzzy pants, the boy looked every bit as cool as he had earlier, all done up for the wedding. Tweek felt pathetic compared to Craig, like he might as well just curl up in a ball and die for all the good he did the world.

Shuffling over to Tweek, Craig gazed down at him for a moment before reaching up and running fingers through his blond hair. Shivering at the contact, Tweek closed his eyes and let out a soft, "Ngh-" as chills ran down his spine. The alien in his stomach seemed to have fallen silent, and for once, he didn't feel his insides lurch and ache. Instead, he was allowed to enjoy the feeling of Craig absently playing with his hair, as if he'd forgotten what he was doing.

Unbidden, the thought of Craig playing with Bebe's hair ran through Tweek's mind and just like that, his stomach rolled. Thankfully, Craig had moved on, instead choosing to take his cloak off of the blond, pulling it carefully from the boy's fingers. As he tossed it in the direction of the rest of his costume, Craig said, "You know dude, you don't have to pretend you like me and Bebe being together." He said it awkwardly, like he wasn't even sure if he should be speaking at all. "I don't like it either right now."

Hearing Craig so casually spilling the one thing Tweek was so scared of the Noirette knowing, the boy yelped and quickly insisted, "N-no! I- I'm just n-not used to it is all!" Waving his arms insistently, not liking the frown that came over Craig's face, Tweek squeaked, "Jesus man! I –rrr- d-don't hate her! Bebe's really cool! I just… I'm not used to it." As he said the words again, Tweek tried to settle himself into that mindset. Because he wasn't used to it, and maybe that was the only reason it hurt so much.

"You'll get used to it later?" Craig asked, making Tweek let out an involuntary sound.  _Oh god, why is he asking me that? What if I say something I don't mean!?_

"I will," Tweek promised, mostly trying to convince himself.  _I have to. I have to be a good friend for Craig. Clyde is doing it, and he likes Bebe. I'm just being stupid because I don't want Craig to abandon me. I don't even have a good reason to be upset._

"Okay," Craig said easily, like that settled the matter just fine. Reaching out, the boy pulled the Manbearpig pelt off of Tweek before stooping to the ground and picking up the tee-shirt. Carefully, the boy helped Tweek into it, as though it was entirely normal to be helping him dress himself. It wasn't, but Tweek just let him, because Craig's presence was calming him down, and he desperately needed that.

Once he'd gotten the shirt on, Tweek dropped to the floor so he could struggle out of his boots and pants. Craig watched him absently, only stirring so he could take Tweek's costume and add it to the pile his own costume was in. Working the overlarge sweatpants onto his legs, Tweek stared down at his feet, which were covered by the material, before curling in on himself, bunching his knees against his chest so he could rest his chin on his legs. Twitching, he watched the floor, unsure what else he was supposed to do.

There was the sound of Craig walking before the lights in the room went out. Hardly even twitching at the change, mostly because he was used to the darkness of Craig's room, Tweek kept staring at his toes. He liked the silence of being alone with Craig in the boy's room. There weren't any monsters in here. Sure, Craig had monsters, but Craig's monsters came from outside of the boy's room. In here, it was safe.

Still, he felt better when Craig sat down on the floor in front of him. Detecting the boy scooting closer, Tweek just watched as Craig's legs splayed out so he could fit the blond between them. He could hear Craig's breathing and its deep evenness made his own rapid heartrate slow somewhat.  _I wish he was always here with me, I wish it was always just us. Maybe Token and Clyde sometimes, but mostly just us._  Without even thinking it through, Tweek blurted out, "Y-you promise you won't forget me?"

Ceasing his slow creep closer to Tweek, Craig let out a breath. "Of course." His voice was a lot closer than Tweek had anticipated, and suddenly he found arms wrapping around him, unfurling him from his knees and coaxing the boy into relaxing. Letting his own legs straighten till they were sticking out into the gap left by Craig's legs, Tweek twitched and made an odd noise that was something like a whimper and a sigh.

Pulling Craig's arms tighter around him, Tweek closed his eyes and let the feeling of the other boy breathing sooth him. He felt like recently Craig had been hugging him far more than usual. He wasn't really complaining, he liked it. The closeness of another human, one he trusted with more than just his life, was something that Tweek wasn't used to, but definitely wished he was. It wasn't like there was anyone else who cared quite like Craig. Clyde was alright, and Token was too. Even Bebe was wonderful to him, but Craig was special.

It was times like these, when Craig was holding Tweek like he was precious, that the blond saw this most clearly.

Unexpectedly, Craig suddenly fell backward, pulling Tweek with him. Sprawling out on top of Craig with a squeak, Tweek shivered for a moment because this wasn't something he was used to, before he slowly calmed down. Craig's hand naturally gravitated towards his hair, and Tweek found himself curling up on top of the taller boy, content to allow Craig to do what he wanted.  _I'm glad he's here. I'm glad he cares._

"Hey," Craig's voice broke the stillness, causing Tweek to jerk slightly. The boy was pointing at the ceiling, his fingers lazily tracing the star map he had spread above them. "How many of them do you remember?" Eyes widening, Tweek was about to scream that a question like that was  _too much pressure_  when a familiar pattern of stars caught his eye and he found himself twisting so he could properly see all the glittering stars above them.

Lifting a shaking hand, Tweek nibbled his lip before slowly saying, "Cassiopeia, r-right?" When he felt Craig's nod brush against the side of his head, Tweek twitched against the boy's chest and moved his hand on, looking for the constellations that Craig had told him about in the past. "And that one's –rrr- Hercules." Shifting to the other end of the room, Tweek mumbled, "That's Leo?"

Enveloping Tweek's hand in his larger palm, Craig gently guided the boy's fingers as he carefully directed it to other star patterns. "And there's the Charioteer. And right over there is-"

"Gemini!" Tweek squeaked, surprising himself. Though he couldn't see the other boy's face, he could almost feel Craig's smile. There was something about it, the way it pulled at the muscles of his neck, that Tweek had memorized somehow. Craig was always happiest when he was staring at the stars. Tweek wished he could all the time in the world just staring at them with the Noirette and listening to his deep voice explain why the planets turned and why the stars shined so brightly.

Letting go of Tweek's hands, Craig softly continued, "And there's Lyra. And there's Cygnus." He kept going, listing off constellations because of course, he'd memorized them all. Though he was falling into the boy's words, Tweek's mind couldn't help but wander to the subject that wouldn't leave him alone. The horrible  _I wonder if he'd do this with Bebe_  that kept pestering him like a starving dog. He wished it would leave him alone, but it just stole his own peace greedily, devouring it and leaving him with nothing but a question burning in his lungs.

"Are you gonna –grrr- s-stare at the stars with Bebe?" Tweek blurted out, interrupting Craig's soft voice. Feeling horrible, Tweek tangled his fingers in the front of Craig's shirt and buried his face in it, wishing he could just disappear.  _Why do I have to ask things like that? Why do I have to ruin all the good moments?_  Except that's what Bebe's presence was doing to Tweek, invading his mind and making him feel sick like he wanted to throw up. He was so tired of it, but it kept not going away.

After a moment's deliberation, Craig, at last, said, "I dunno. Maybe." Picturing Bebe curled up against Craig as he talked about space, Tweek shivered and fought down the bile rising in his throat. He didn't want that, he didn't want Bebe to take his place. It was so stupid, but this was special to him. Craig didn't talk to Token or Clyde about the stars like this, Craig didn't just sit down with strangers and act so calm and wonderful. He only did it with people he trusted, he only did it with Tweek.

Which is why Tweek found himself twitching violently before pushing out the only thing that came to mind. "Don't." And even though part of him desperately wished he could take it back, Tweek didn't, he just waited for Craig's response. He couldn't explain, because that would reveal too many things, but he wasn't going to pretend like he didn't care. This one thing, he would fight for.

And maybe Craig had been thinking the same thing, because when he at last spoke, the only thing he said was, "Okay." Shivering, swallowing back the alien before it could crawl out of his throat, Tweek looked back up the ceiling and let the stars blur in his vision. He knew he was being selfish, but Craig's arm just tightened around him, and Tweek imagined that the boy was squeezing all those bad feelings out of him. Like he was a sponge and the Noirette was wringing him out, forcing those horrible sick feelings to go away for just a moment.

In that moment, he wasn't in Craig's room anymore. No, he was in a spaceship and Craig was next to him, piloting them through space. It was a wondrous sensation, even though it made him feel a little scared. Nibbling on his lip, Tweek shivered and asked, "Are you ever scared of –ghn- g-getting swallowed up by space or something?" Tightening his hold on Craig's shirt, Tweek babbled, "I mean, it's s-so big, and Jesus man, how will you find your way? What if you get lost?"

"I don't think I'd mind," Craig admitted, rolling them both over slowly. Allowing the taller boy to curl around him, Tweek's insides jerked as Craig continued, "If Space swallowed me up, then I would let it. It's better up there than down here, and I don't think anyone would much miss me if I flew off and never came back."

Shaking in Craig's hold, Tweek shook his head fervently at that, causing Craig to draw back a bit so he could look at the blond. Though he couldn't see the boy's face, Tweek still gave him an imploring stare as he insisted, "I would mind! I'd miss you!" Grabbing for Craig's free hand with one of his own, Tweek squeezed the boy's large palm and squeaked, "Oh god, d-don't get lost out there!"

Unexpectedly, Craig dragged Tweek's hand closer till it was pressed against his chest. Taking a deep breath, Craig closed his eyes, the sound of his lashes hitting his cheek only audible because Tweek's hearing was so acute. "Fine then, I'd take you with me so we could get lost together." When Tweek let out a squeak, Craig continued, "I know it's scary out there, but I don't think it would be that bad."

Huddling up against Craig, tucking himself under the Noirette's chin, Tweek wiggled his toes before admitting, "Rrr- I- I don't think it would be as scary, if y-you were there with me." Tweek could hear Craig's heart do something weird at those words, but he remembered something Kenny had said earlier about chemical reactions and decided that it was normal. It let him simply curl up against Craig's chest and let all of the worry and stress from the day slip through the cracks.

"Up there," Craig said softly, his voice flat, yet distant, as if it was fading. "We wouldn't have to deal with anyone else."

At once, Tweek asked, "Not even Bebe?" He knew he shouldn't but he needed to know. If the girl was going to be there, then he wasn't sure he could handle going to Space after all.

But Craig let out a puff of air that ruffled his hair, distracting him for a moment. The boy was silent for a long time after what Tweek had said, and he started to wonder if Craig had just fallen asleep, but then that deep, familiar voice said, "Especially not Bebe."

As the creature inside of Tweek's chest settled down, Tweek allowed himself to think to himself,  _then I want to go to Space with you forever,_  but didn't dare say it out loud. Instead, he just mumbled, "We'll get lost together, and –ngh- then everything will be better."

"Yeah," Craig agreed. "I think it will be…"

In that moment, Tweek felt better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, writing fluff to soothe the burn of last chapter. It's okay, things get better. Not by much, but they won't be horrible for another few chapters ;)


	65. My Kind Of Mayhem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I'm risking being late to work by posting this now but screw it!! I love you all too much to do otherwise.
> 
> Enjoy.

"Ugh~ Is this  _really_  the best you can come up with. I swear, I'm going to fall asleep!" Kenny wilted across the empty seats, landing in Butters' lap dramatically. "Come  _on,_  we're never going to beat the Elves like this!"

Huffing, Token crossed his arms, tapping a finger against his bicep impatiently. "No disrespect Lady McCormick, but that's what you've said about the last five ideas we've had. We've got to find something. We have a  _month_  to find a way to get the stick back and give the girls what they want or they'll destroy us. The least you could do is give me something a little more to work with."

From his throne where he was munching noisily on a bag of chips, Cartman raised his hand and gestured loosely at Token. "If Princess Kenny says it's not going to work then it's not going to. Honestly Token, your ideas are pretty lame. This game is a quest to become cool, there's no way we're going to look badass if we go about everything like we're scared of dying or something."

"JESUS WE ARE SCARED OF DYING!" Tweek exclaimed, his pan handle clutched tightly in his hand. Standing as he was in the middle of the tent, he managed to nearly hit Butters and Token several times in the head as he waved his hand around wildly. "GHA- W-we're losing so badly, if we do anything wrong, they'll t-totally kill us!" He had a point, and Cartman acknowledged this with a sigh.

"Maybe we should look at that first idea Token had," Clyde suggested from behind Kenny. "I mean, I dunno, I think that if we just set in a small group to take the stick secretly, we might have a better chance of just declaring the school to be a game free zone. Then it wouldn't matter if they took it back, it would be an official rule."

"I dunno about you fellas, b-but I think we should jus' ask the mean ol' Drow Elves nicely an' see if they'll change the rules for us!" Butters piped up, his expression hopeful as always. "I mean, wouldn't that be nicer an' stuff? I don't know if we should go fightin' nobody over somethin' so small."

"Oh Paladin Butters, you're so wise~" Kenny cooed, rolling over so he could reach up and pat Butters' cheeks happily. "But we need to kill some people to get this job done. The High Jew Elf won't listen to us after everything that's happened."

Ballooning his cheeks, Token let a whoosh of air out of his lungs before saying, "I'd prefer not to kill anyone if it's all the same to you guys. If we piss them off enough, the Elves will crush us." Taking a step back so he could lean against the strategy board that was still standing there, despite their obvious lack of strategy, Token muttered, "Apparently the Bard just joined them, which means we now have to worry about bandits. At least the girls aren't attacking us anymore."

From the back of the room where he stood shrouded in shadows, Craig drew his eyes from the ground where they'd been fixed so he could see Tweek, who was staring at him, clearly stressed out. Pulling down his chullo, Craig pointed out, "We're out of touch with what's going on because we've spent the last month dealing with the girls. We need to figure out what's going on, otherwise we're going to only put ourselves in a worse position."

"I agree." From where she sat beside Clyde, Bebe lifted her head and said, "The Elves have been questioning us as to what's going on between your faction and ours. Wendy, may she sparkle forever, believes in complete honesty with people and she told the Elves that we have formed an alliance with your faction, though she has not told them the terms of it or that we are not assisting you in any way."

"That fucking bitch," Cartman muttered under his breath. When Bebe cleared her throat pointedly, the boy rolled his eyes before drawling out, "Of course, Bebe, I'm sure that Wendy has everyone's best interests at heart right now."

It had been Kenny's idea that the girl spend some of her time hanging out with the Humans. He kept saying it was in the interests of peace, but all Craig saw was the potential to cause further problems. After all, it was Kenny. When did he  _not_  have an ulterior motive. Currently, the only thing it had caused was Tweek's seeming inability to stand still and Cartman's increased irritability, but Craig was sure that was only the start of the problems it would cause.

"W-wouldn't that be a good thing though?" Tweek asked, letting go of his weapon so he could dig fingers into his blond hair and pull it down over his ears. "I m-mean, if the Elves –ngh- th-think that the Valkyries are helping us, won't they be less likely to attack us?" Clyde nodded at that, looking at Token in confusion as the black boy shook his head, frowning.

"Now Tweeky, don't be silly," Kenny chided, twirling a piece of hair between his fingers. "This is the Drow Elves we're talking about. Why, they're more likely to attack us twice as hard because they think that we've got an unfair advantage! Of course, we could attempt to clarify things over the carrier ravens, but chances are good that Kyle won't even listen." Shaking his head, he let out a fluttering sigh. "It's  _such_  a shame."

"So we're even more screwed now," Cartman said, sounding positively murderous. "That's just… Wonderful. It's wonderful. I love it when fucking Jews steal all my land and pride." Sitting up a little straighter, the Wizard pointed at Token and said, "Come on Token, there has to be  _something_  that we can do that doesn't make us look like a bunch of pussies."

Glaring at the room in general, Token muttered, "You know what, I give up. I've given you at least three different solutions that would work and two more that would probably do okay as well and you have literally turned down every one of them because they don't include enough big battles. Not everything is glory and gore Grand Wizard, sometimes, it's about the finer details."

"Ugh, I'm bored then!" Kenny exclaimed, dramatically shifting his position till he was pretty much sitting in Butters' lap. "Paladin Butters, do something. I'm bored, everyone here is boring. I just wanted to have some fun, is that so wrong? Please me Butters, entertain me."

"Maybe if you stopped fucking complaining, we'd actually get something done," Crain said flatly, his brows furrowing at the Princess, who peaked his head up over Butters' shoulder so he could giggle and smirk deviously.

"Lady McCormick, do you, perhaps, have a better idea?" Bebe asked, folding her hands neatly in her lap so she could blink properly at the Princess.

"OH GOD DON'T –GHN- ASK HIM THAT!" Tweek suddenly exploded, twitching violently as he yanked on his hair. "He'll just r-ruin everything and make horrible things happen and it's too much pressure!"

"That is a  _lady_  you are talking to asshole!" Cartman snapped, his eyes trained dangerously on Tweek. "Don't you try and tell Lady McCormick what she can and can't say."

"JESUS- FUCK! Y-YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT!" Tweek yelled back, his hands balled into fists as he glared at Cartman right back. "GRR- W-WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO TOKEN! AT L-LEAST HIS IDEAS WORK! ALL YOU'RE DOING IS SITTING THERE AND B-BITCHING!"

Glaring at the blond, Cartman leaned forward on his throne and announced, "That's it! I've had it with the Barbarian, he can't keep his mouth shut. Someone get him out of my sight before I banish him from space and time." At Cartman's words, Craig saw his way out. Flipping off the rest of the room, but mostly Cartman, Craig swiftly moved to where the blond was shivering and pulled him out of the tent to the sound of Cartman yelling, "It's not like you were helping either Feldspar!"

Letting the tent flap flutter closed behind him, Craig turned to Tweek, who he'd wrapped an arm around, and started, "Just-"

"Ignore him, y-yeah, I know," Tweek mumbled, fumbling with his thermos and struggling to open the lid with fingers that looked a little blue. "It's just –rrr- he's s-such a fucking asshole, I can't stand him!" Feeling an inexplicable amount of pride swell up at the boy for getting upset like that, Craig couldn't keep himself from ruffling Tweek's hair.

Letting out a squeak, as though he hadn't been expecting that, Tweek dropped his thermos, spilling the coffee inside all over the snow. Good mood vanishing at once, Craig cursed loudly and stooped down, grabbing the container and managing to salvage some of the coffee inside. "Shit," he repeated again, looking at the espresso-stained snow in frustration. "Sorry."

As he took the thermos and quickly gulped down the remaining liquid, Tweek shivered and muttered, "N-no, it's fine. My parents made it for me today and there was something weird about it." Twitching the boy stared at his feet for a moment before suddenly letting out a growl. "Jesus! I'm just still so p-pissed!"

Getting to his feet and handing the boy the lid, Craig said, "Yeah, I get it." Though it didn't really show on his face, he was sort of peeved at Cartman and his stubborn ass attitude as well. He wished there was something he could  _do_  to actually get something done, but so far, they'd just spent the day fighting over  _ideas_  and they hadn't gotten a single fucking thing done. Even with Bebe there to help soothe everyone's frazzled nerves, the tension had just kept building. At least they were outside now, but he could tell that this was also stressing Tweek out, probably because now they didn't know what was going on.

"Got kicked out, huh?" Looking around, Craig found Russell staring up at them, a rueful expression on his face. Shrugging, letting out a breath, Craig nodded at the boy, who muttered, "Whatever, they're assholes. They'll probably be in there all day."

"Dude, we could hear you yelling at Cartman from out here!" Terry called from where he was sitting with Scott beside the fire. "Tweek, man, you're a monster! Honestly, that was the best thing I've heard all day."

"Ghn- D-don't you ever feel like screaming at him?" Tweek asked, fumbling to clip his thermos back onto his belt. Stumbling over to the fire, Craig in tow, the blond sat down on the overturned log that had been put out as a seat and mumbled, "He's s-so frustrating sometimes! And Princess Kenny isn't making anything better!"

Standing beside Tweek, Craig tugged his faceguard up a little higher before flatly saying, "They're going to get us killed, that's what they're going to do." Terry nodded gravely at that, and Russell let out a growl that sounded unbelievably frustrated.

"You're right," the fourth-grader muttered bitterly. "I mean I know Token's good but if they don't listen to him then he's not helpful at all." Kicking at the ground, Russell added, "And honestly, recently no one's had any good ideas. I wish we could go back to those times when the Humans actually kicked ass."

Jerking, Tweek almost tumbled over backward as he exclaimed, "RRR- W-We did kick ass!" As Craig moved and caught the boy with his legs so he didn't fall over, Tweek continued, "The Grand Wizard used to make good –ghn- choices! And we were able to actually do something!" Leaning tiredly against Craig, like the bones had vacated his body, the blond mumbled, "Now all we do is lose and lose again! Jesus, I'm s-sick of going into battle and getting destroyed, man!"

"We all are Tweek, we all are," Terry agreed. Getting to his feet, the Mage stretched before saying, "But, all this moaning and groaning isn't going to get us anywhere." Turning to the other three boy's Terry said, "Jesse said his patrol is a little thin today, I'm going to go help out. They're up by the police station and the Elves have been particularly shitty today apparently. Wanna come with?"

As Russell hurried to get to his feet, Craig looked down at Tweek, who was already staring up at him. Unable to mistake that look of interest in the boy's eyes, Craig raised a brow, only to earn himself a tentative and nervously excited smile from Tweek.  _Well, that settles that._  "Fuck it, why not," Craig deadpanned, sucking in his cheeks. "It's not like we have anything else to do."

"Y-yeah!" Tweek agreed, getting to his feet quickly and giving himself a shake to knock off any of the snow clinging to him. "I'm s-sick of just doing nothing!" When Russell let out a whoop and Terry smiled, Tweek finally gave a true grin. "Let's go m-mess up some Elves!"

As the boys left the yard, Craig following along behind Tweek as normal, the Noirette allowed himself to zone out. The other boys kept chattering about something, reliving a battle they'd all been in together. He could still remember it, the fateful battle where they'd lost the church to the Drow Elves but taken down at least twice as many soldiers as they'd lost. Tweek had ended up with a black eye after that one, but he'd been proud of it, which in turn had left Craig feeling proud of him. After all, it wasn't often that Tweek was okay with getting hurt.

Thoughts sort of spinning around Tweek as they usually ended up doing, Craig recalled the night before, falling asleep on the floor only to wake up and find Tweek holding Stripe and telling the guinea pig a story about stone men and pebble monsters. Looking back on it, Craig reflected that Tweek had definitely changed a lot in the time he'd known the boy. It used to be he would have never cursed at Cartman, never sat awake in the dark without freaking out, never have been anywhere close to as brave as he was now, but things had changed. Craig was glad, but at the same time, he wondered if he was changing as well.

Because after having some time the night before, while he watched Tweek whisper to his guinea pig, to think things over, he was realizing that a lot of things were changing. He was getting closer to Tweek for one, and though he assumed that was normal, that didn't explain the warm, happy feeling that blossomed in his chest as he listened to Tweek's story travel into talking about the Noirette instead. As Tweek had told Stripe that Craig had looked really cool for the wedding and that he'd looked like he could take down a million Elves single-handedly, Craig's insides had turned into a weird gooey mess that he didn't really like. It was stupid, but things were going sideways.

And after talking to Bebe for a while, Craig had just sort of accepted that it was normal, but it was at times like this when his head was clear and Tweek was there practically glowing in the sun that he wondered if maybe something was horribly wrong. If it was, he had to admit that this wasn't a bad way to go out. It was certainly a lot more pleasing than the slow and painful torture he'd had to go through for the wedding. But at the same time, it sort of scared him.

Why was Tweek so damn  _special._

It was a weird thought to have, and he banished it quickly. Needing to distract himself, Craig stepped up beside Tweek and caught the boy's hand, watching as the boy jumped in surprised before glancing up at the Noirette, blinking twice, then returning to his conversation with the other boys. Focusing on the feeling of Tweek's cold fingers in his gloved hand, Craig settled back down, simply staring at the horizon as they walked.

As they went, the conversation started to register in Craig's mind once more, bringing him back into the present in bits and pieces. "You know what I want," Terry was saying, waving his hands around expressively as he walked. "I want to get the  _team_ back together and take out some Elves. Just to show that us Humans aren't as weak as they think!"

"T-team?" Tweek asked, shivering and letting out an involuntary sound. Craig didn't blame him, and he raised an eyebrow skeptically at the Mage.  _Yeah, when have the Humans ever been able to form any sort of team?_  It was honestly pathetic how spread out their faction had become over the past few months. It was quite the contrast to the Elves, who had only grown stronger and more compact as a group.

Grinning, Terry nudged the blonde's side, pushing him into Craig slightly. "Yeah, you know, with you two as the leaders and a bunch of us following you!" Terry explained, falling back into step beside Russell once more. "I mean, I get that the forest mission was a one-time thing, but honestly, this game hasn't been that fun in ages. Look at us, we're having  _weddings_  for Christ's sake! Who does that in a fighting game?!"

"You know, that would be pretty cool," Russell agreed, thrusting his chin into the air proudly at the memory. "We tore those Elves apart." Pulling a face, he added, "And you've got a point, weddings are kind of lame. No offence Craig, Bebe's really sweet and everything, but come on, girls weren't supposed to be playing in the first place."

"Yeah," Craig agreed, squeezing Tweek's hand as he spoke. He knew the boy still wasn't used to Bebe being around and it worried him, especially after everything that had happened. "It fucking blows, but I dunno dude, what can you do?" A knot of guilt rose up at that, but he pushed it down resolutely. Sure, he should have done more to stop Kenny from screwing things up, but it would get better. The game couldn't last forever.

"True that," Russell agreed as they turned into the police station. "Girls man, they ruin everything." As they crossed into Human territory, they were met by Jesse, who ran to greet them. Upon seeing Tweek and Craig, his eyes widened and he let out a groan.

"You didn't have to bring them too!" he exclaimed, punching Terry on the arm in irritation. "It's just a few Elves man, I told you! Heck, the Elves aren't even here anymore!"

"What, didn't think to leave any for us!?" Terry complained, nudging the boy back. "Come on man, that's so not cool. We even brought Tweek and Craig, the monster duo, to help us out." Rubbing his knuckles together, the Mage added, "And here I thought we were going to get to have some fun for once."

"Actually, the truth is they sort of got bored and left," Daniel admitted from behind the boy, walking forward. Looking Tweek and Craig over carefully, the boy raised an eyebrow and commented, "Got thrown out of the war room I see."

"I –ghn- c-couldn't keep my mouth shut," Tweek pushed out, letting go of Craig's hand so he could grab for his club and squeeze the handle. "Jesus, all they're doing is arguing, w-we're never going to win anything if they can't even agree on s-simple things." Twitching hard, he exclaimed, "AUGH! IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!"

"The Grand Wizard is a grand dick," Craig summarized for the Jew blandly, not bothering to react to the snickering his words produced from both Terry and Russell. Humming under his breath, Daniel just watched him, as though he was thinking something over. Knowing that look because it was the same one Token got when he was puzzling over something, Craig let it roll off of him and just ruffled Tweek's hair, calming the boy down enough that he stopped strangling his frying pan.

"You know, I was just talking to Craig and Tweek about the old days when Humans used to be cool," Terry said, crossing his arms and puffing out his cheeks before grinning at Jesse. "Remember it? When we totally kicked ass? I still can't get over how awesome we were during that forest battle."

"Ugh, there's no way that would happen again!" Jesse complained, tapping his wooden sword against the snow in irritation.

"Jesus, n-no way man!" Tweek exclaimed, drawing his own frying pan and stepping back from the other boys so he could swing it and invisible enemies with unrestrained fervor. Growling, he burst, "THEY JUST KEEP TALKING! WE NEVER GET TO FIGHT!" His frying pan was stopped as Russell caught it, engaging the boy in a duel.

"If we could all fight again like that, just picture what we could do!" Russell exclaimed, dancing around Tweek and jabbing in quickly, stopping just short of hitting the boy's stomach. In return, Tweek swept his frying pan at the boy's legs, causing the Warrior to skip away to keep from being blown over. "I mean, look at us! What could just the six of us do?"

"That's what I've been thinking about," Daniel admitted, crossing his arms and moving closer to Craig. Looking down slightly at the boy, the Noirette raised an eyebrow that was met by a slight smile on the Jew's face. "I mean, what  _could_  we do. If I recall correctly, the reason we managed to kill the Elves last time so effectively was because we had some advanced knowledge."

"But there's no way we'd get something like that again," Terry pointed out as Jesse encouraged Tweek and Russell excitedly, while still yelling at them not to actually hurt each other. "I mean Craig had to take a picture of their strategies, how would we be able to do that again."

Suddenly looking up from the fight, Tweek's eyes widened and he bounced on the balls of his feet, almost getting knocked over by Russell, who forgot to pull his swing before it hit the blond. Undeterred by this, simply straightening and staring at Daniel, Tweek asked, "C-could we do something like that again?!"

As the other boys started to get excited and Daniel tipped his head back so he could grin in delight, Craig felt a bubble of his own excitement filling him. "You're saying that the six of us should fucking invade the Elves just so we can get a look at their strategies?"

"Who said anything about invading?" Daniel asked, raising his eyebrows mischievously. "I'm just talking about making a scene. What you and Tweek do about it is  _your_  business."

Grinning from ear to ear, Terry rolled his shoulders and said, "Oh, I am going to like this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at us, we're doing so well.
> 
> Expect a very exciting next chapter~


	66. Where Is Your Mind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek
> 
> (If you're looking for a chapter track, the song Desperate Measures by Marianas Trench is an excellent choice)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH BOY!
> 
> However prepared you think you are for this chapter, you a r e n o t r e a d y.
> 
> I'm sorry, but you just aren't.
> 
> Thankfully, there's some wonderful art to make you feel better about it!!!
> 
> The first one is, of course, by the beautiful and talented Mianewarcher who has decided to grace us with her beautiful illustrations of chapter 64. Even better, there are two pictures!!! The first is of Craig and Tweek cuddling on the floor, pointing out the stars. I live for how innocent these children look in this picture. Like this scene could have been taken a different way, but there's such naivete in their faces and actions and I love it. The second is of the bit where Craig was sort of undressing Tweek and all I have to say is _y e s_. This is everything. I'm sorry, but I love her art style so much and the way she ages them up makes this all so much better. I love how tender Craig looks, just treating Tweek so carefully. I'd talk about these two drawings forever, but I have other people to shower love on, so you should really just check them out for yourself -- >https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169748285660/teamalphaq-upacreekwithcraigandtweek<\-- honestly, if you aren't looking at these drawings, you're doing it wrong.
> 
> The second drawing was done by Jelly Koi. This is another amalgamation of two drawings, but of course, both of them had me on the ground cooing at the sheer amount of fluff. The first is of the famous "I'd notice if you vanished" scene, and I love it. They're just such soft happy bois. The other has several doodles, one of Tweek falling asleep on Craig's shoulder, and the other of Tweek blushing. I love them all, you'll love them too. -->https://jelly-koi.tumblr.com/post/169712373883/teamalphaq-ahh-is-your-fault-the-fluff-is-too<\-- So yeah, look at them. You're going to need the fluff after this chapter.
> 
> The third was done by the excellent aprithotss and it's of Tweek talking to Stripe. Honestly, I'm surprised they managed to catch that tiny little thing, but I'm also unbelievably happy. I just- Tweek and Stripe have such an important relationship and it's so cute. This picture is even more so, it made me feel like I was having a heart attack from the sheer amount of fluff. It makes me want to actually write out that scene, but alas, I have angst to deliver on. So for now -->https://aprithotss.tumblr.com/post/169733576984/tweek-from-teamalphaq-s-fic-looking-after-stripe<\-- check out the drawing and be satisfied with its adorableness for the time being.
> 
> The fourth and final drawing was done by the darling msyet2bthrownoutlemon and it's an adorable color drawing of Tweek and Craig on Craig's floor. This scene man, if people kept doing art of it forever I wouldn't even be mad. I love Tweek's expression in this one, it really shows how disgruntled about the whole Bebe thing he is. And Craig's bored expression?? Y e s p l e a s e. I love these boys, honestly, I do. -->https://msyet2bthrownoutlemon.tumblr.com/post/169722078982/a-lil-drawing-for-teamalphaq-for-her-fanfic<\-- If you want a taste of this awesome, then check it out, because it deserves attention.
> 
> So, with all that fluff out of the way-
> 
> Prepare yourselves.
> 
> Enjoy.

The Elven castle was impressive no matter how you cut it. With towers and tents sprouting out of a monstrous tree like strange growths the seemed to sprawl on forever and a courtyard beneath that sported an organized an functioning area for Elves to go about their business, it was intimidating. Much more intimidating than Kupa Keep, that was for sure.

As he looked up at it, viewing it from further down Stan's fence with the rest of the boys, Tweek thought it looked nothing short of daunting.

"Jesus –ngh- are you  _sure_  this is gonna work?" Tweek squeaked, his fingers tightening and loosening around the smooth handle of his club. He could hear the Elves from here, all of them going about everyday tasks no doubt. There was nothing intrinsically threatening about this, but he felt like it was just proving that they were all being stupid. At the same time though, that filled him with a strange feeling of reckless excitement. Sure, they might fail, but at least they'd do so spectacularly.

A hand ruffled his hair. "Yeah, it'll work," Craig said, his presence a dark shadow behind him. Out of the corner of his eye, Tweek caught the flash of the boy's blade reflecting the sun. Of course, Craig was probably right, the plan was almost laughably simple. Distract, divert, destroy, then get out as quickly as possible. It would be hard to screw it up. Even Cartman could have managed it.

It would start with Daniel, Russell, Jesse and Terry distracting as many Elves as possible, drawing most of the fire and hopefully taking as many down as they could. Tweek's job would be slightly different, he was supposed to get up the tree during the chaos, taking out any Elves that got in his way. He was supposed to head for the stick, just to make the fight look as real as possible. Craig, meanwhile, would go for the strategy. The moment he had a picture, he was supposed to leave, no engagement unless absolutely necessary. As long as he didn't fight anyone, the drones would have no reason to focus on him and therefore, he'd be able to get away with what he wanted without recourse.

Tweek wanted it to work. Heck, all of them did.

"If what I've gathered is true, most of the Elves should be on patrol," Daniel said, brushing his curly hair out of his face. "It's now or never. Terry, you've got what we need?"

Holding up the fireworks that he had 'liberated' from goodness knew were, the Mage grinned. "Damn straight. Everyone have smoke bombs?" Putting his hand on the small object that he had in his pocket, Tweek nodded. The only one of them who didn't have smoke bombs was Craig, but that was because the boy had advanced enough stealth that he shouldn't need them. Tweek hoped that it would be enough.  _No, it will be, we've got this._

"Ready to raise some hell?" Russell asked, hefting his sword and grinning at the other boys. Nodding his head once, Tweek drew his club and gritted his teeth as he listened to Russell count down the seconds before it would start.  _We can do this, we're going to get this done. Fuck Cartman and him taking forever to decide anything, we're going to prove that this game is still fun!_  "Three. Two.  _One."_

Instantly, the other boys broke away from Tweek and Craig, going ahead of them. Drawing up his hand, Terry started lighting the fireworks, even as they were bursting through the front fence. He could hear the sounds of Elves yelling in surprise at it and curses flying everywhere before there was a great  _whoosh_  as the first firework went off. The sounds of the explosions were Tweek's signal. With a growl, he lunged forward as well, leaping through the fence just as the first smoke bomb went off.

Immediately he was surrounded by the sounds of yelling. The smoke got in his eyes, making them water, but he just squinted his eyes and barreled forward. Out of the gloom, an Elven Ranger rose up, getting in his way. The look of surprise on the boy's face was priceless, but Tweek much preferred the sound his club made as it hit the boy's legs, knocking him back forcefully. As the boy's sword went up, swinging for Tweek's head, the blond growled furiously, blocking it before striking the boy in the ribs firmly, throwing him to the ground.

More explosions, but he forced himself not to freak out about the possibility of them starting fires. Terry was a flame Mage and if he couldn't control it then no one could. Avoiding an Elf that darted out at him, Tweek finally found the tree. Around him, there were the sounds of orders being yelled and the screams of battle emanating seemingly from everywhere. The smoke was filling the air, and he watched as another smoke bomb was lobbed past him before Jesse followed in its wake, his sword raised.

_I don't have time to watch, I have to get to the top as quickly as possible!_  Tearing his eyes away from the boy, who was being set upon by two rangers, Tweek gritted his teeth and started to scramble up the tree, the position forcing him to put away his club. Swinging to the nearest possible branch, Tweek drew his short sword and swung it at the first Elf he saw, even before the boy could react. There was a scream as the archer tumbled out of the tree, falling into the smoke below.  _Oh god, I probably killed him!_  Shaking the thought away, Tweek only just barely managed to bring his sword up to block the strike of Chris Donnelly.

"What the hell is all of this?" the boy demanded, his blade coming close to chopping off Tweek's head. With a growl, the blond drew his club and managed to catch the blade with it, pushing it out of the way. Flying at him with unrestrained fervor, Tweek twitched violently as he swung his weapons in tandem at the confused boy.

"Can't you –ghn- see?!" Tweek demanded, swinging his club faster than the Ranger could track. Though the boy was still levels ahead of him, Tweek had definitely come a long way since he'd last faced the boy. It wasn't as much of a challenge as it had been before, and he felt himself enjoying himself, grinning wildly as he knocked the boy's short sword out of his head. "We're m-mad as hell, and we aren't gonna take it anymore!"

Before the boy could answer, Tweek barreled forward and managed to land an elbow in the defenseless Elf's stomach, throwing him backward. Though he managed to catch ahold of some of the tree's branches, he definitely wasn't getting back up to fight Tweek again anytime soon. Pulling out one of the smoke bombs, Tweek lit it on fire with the enchanted device Terry had given him and tossed it into the middle of this level of the castle.

"How many of you are there?" Chris demanded, clearly struggling to pull himself back onto the platform. "What are you trying to do? Did the Grand Wizard send you?" Taking a step back, shivering as he did so, Tweek pulled out his bow and loaded an arrow, aiming it at Chris Donnelly's head.

"It doesn't matter who s-sent us, it just matters that –ngh- there are enough of us to kick your ass!" Letting the arrow loose at the moment the bomb went off, Tweek could only listen as Chris let out a yell of surprise and the branch shook as he let go of it. Satisfied, Tweek turned around only to find Craig facing him, his body wavering in and out of invisibility.

Grinning like a madman, Tweek quickly shouldered his bow and twitched as Craig raised an eyebrow at him. Though he wanted to say any number of things to the boy, he knew they were on a time limit and all he did was reach up and tug on the string of the boy's chullo as he blasted past. Letting out a wild laugh, Tweek swung further up the tree, knocking an Elf off as the boy tried to climb down the tree to help out his brethren on the ground.

Below, he could see the courtyard filling with smoke as Daniel and the others wreaked as much havoc as possible. As he watched, Terry lobbed a fireball at one of the Elven Rangers, Jason Tweek was pretty sure, and the boy ran off, screaming about his hair being on fire. Noticing another Elf coming up behind Terry, his sword raised, Tweek hooked his leg around the ladder rung above him and twisted his body so he could draw his bow and aim it. Without even bothering to sight it, knowing he did better when he didn't, Tweek let out a yell as he loosed the bolt.

Whistling as it cut through the air, the arrow struck true, implanting itself in the Elf's back, knocking him off of his feet. Turning quickly, Terry looked up and gave Tweek a thumb's up before another smoke bomb obscured the boy from view. Satisfied with himself, Tweek let out a whoop that he was sure the other boys heard before quickly heading further up the tree.

At the next branch he came to, two Rangers rushed him, their swords drawn and glinting in the sun. Swinging onto the branch, his green eyes full of a wild light, Tweek drew his sword and club as one and went in like a madman. Though he could feel the blades of both boys cutting into his skin, Tweek managed to slash one of them across the chest before catching the side of the other Elf's head with his club.

"THIS IS FOR –RRR- TAKING ALL OF OUR TERRITORY!" Tweek screeched, crossing his weapons to block the attack coming at him from the right before he attacked, his blade flashing as wildly as his eyes. Watching as blood followed the path of his already crimson blade, Tweek pushed out his panic at the sight of blood in favor of kicking the boy over. Turning before his companion had the chance to attack his unguarded back, Tweek growled as the boy's blade bit into his shoulder. The pain hardly even registered at all, his mind was too focused to allow it to.

As the boy behind him got up again, Tweek was forced to attempt to fend off both Rangers at the same time, not something he preferred but at the same time, not something he was unused to. Unfortunately, they were coordinating their attacks, and just as he was avoiding the strike of one boy, the other had his blade at Tweek's throat in that instant of distraction. Just as the blonde's eyes were widening and he was trying to figure a way out, a familiarly serrated blade sprouted through the Ranger's shoulder before it yanked back out, letting the boy fall to the ground.

"You looked like you needed some help," Craig commented as Tweek let out a growl and threw the other boy out of the tree with a blast of force. Turning back to the boy, Tweek spent a moment pulling at his hair with the hand that was holding his club.

"JESUS MAN, Y-YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO ATTACK!" Tweek yelped, shaking his head to rid his mind of the worries that instantly filled it.  _Oh god, now they're going to catch him taking pictures of the battle plans. Now Kyle will find him and he'll die for sure and I won't be able to save him!_

"Dude, you literally threw someone out of a tree," Craig deadpanned, his eyebrow raising. "I'm pretty sure they're focusing on you right now." At the words, Tweek's mouth fell open for a second before he found laughter distracting him from his own fear. Realizing it was he who was doing the laughing, Tweek slapped a hand over his mouth before managing to nick himself with his sword. There was a snort, and Craig's hand landed in Tweek's hair, which the Thief proceeded to ruffle. By the time Tweek had pulled his hand away from his face, the other boy was gone.

Remembering himself, Tweek quickly holstered his weapons before dashing back to the trunk of the tree. Catching handholds easily, Tweek decidedly skipped the level that Craig had said held the battle plans before heading straight to the top. He knew, naturally, that he wouldn't be able to actually get the stick, but it was worth a shot. As long as he wasn't carted out, mortally wounded, everything would be fine.

His injuries were only just starting to register in his mind as he finally reached the keep of the suspended Castle. Climbing up into the solid wooden room that looked like it had been grown straight from the tree, Tweek had to shield his eyes as the Stick of Truth momentarily blinded him. It was at the end of the long room, its power practically radiating from it. Letting out an involuntary sound, Tweek approached the thing slowly, in awe of its glory.  _The universe, sitting there on a pillow..._

Just as he got close enough that he could have reached out and touched the object, he heard footsteps behind him. Turning around Tweek hardly had a second's warning before he was hit with a gust of wind that pushed him back, sending him sprawling across the wooden floor. Quickly pushing himself to his feet, Tweek twitched as he saw who it was.

Kyle looked more like a king than Tweek had ever seen him. His red and gold robes seemed to swirl as the symbols on them writhed like living creatures. On his head, the crown of thorny branches gleamed with an ethereal light, almost like it had been imbued by the power of the Stick itself. In his hand, he held a staff with a glowing green crystal implanted in the top. The rod itself looked like it had been made of smelted steel. As the boy raised it, the wood around Tweek started to rumble, branches, and vines growing out of it, attempting to wrap around his ankles like snakes.

Letting out a scream, Tweek darted to the side, drawing his club once more as he did so. Lifting his chin, glaring down his nose at Tweek, the redhead spat out. "This. Is. Bullshit." His green eyes danced with utter irritation as he looked Tweek up and down. "What the  _hell_  do you think you're doing, invading my kingdom? What makes you think you have the  _right_  to do something like this, Human filth?"

"Rrr-  _I_ say I have the r-right!" Tweek growled right back, unwilling to be cowed, even by the High Elf himself. Imagining his warriors below him, fighting dozens of Elves all so that he could fight Kyle, just so that Craig could get a picture of the strategies, the blond felt a surge of pride and courage wash through him. Raising his club, Tweek announced, "In the name of the KKK, I'm –grrr- here to take back the Stick of Truth from the Elves!" Before Kyle could react, he leaped forward.

Kyle's staff met Tweek's club easily. Though the blond knew the boy was far more powerful than he was, he couldn't help but feel some bit of hope as Kyle grit his teeth in a growl before throwing Tweek off of him. His staff sparked, and at once the room around Tweek started to come alive around him. Dodging the tree limbs that formed into a giant hand that seemed to be commanded by and mimicking to a T Kyle's own fist, Tweek gave a growl and swung his club at the boy's ribs.

Even though Kyle managed to dodge most of it, Tweek could still feel the blunt object connect with the Elven king. In return for his strike, Kyle swept his hand in a slapping gesture and Tweek felt himself get lifted into the air and slammed against the wall of the keep. Gritting his teeth, ignoring the pain, Tweek jerked hard and leaped back to his feet, instantly running back at the redhead.

"Give it up Tweek!" the boy yelled, reaching for Tweek with the wooden hand only for Tweek to leap onto the living creation, using it as a ramp right down to Kyle. "There's no way you can beat me!" With a growl, Tweek swung at Kyle's hand twice before the wooden hand tilted alarmingly, forcing him to grab for the thumb of the creation so he didn't get dropped to the ground. Swinging before letting go of the hand, Tweek flew over Kyle's head and rolled on impact.

"Y-you don't know that!" Tweek yelled back, managing to hit Kyle's knees before the boy's staff glowed with power once more and a localized tornado lifted him off the ground and slammed him back to the floor with enough force to drive all the air from his lungs.  _Jesus, he's going to kill me!_  Tossing his head about with a growl, forcibly making the terrible thoughts relinquish their hold on his brain, Tweek pushed himself to his feet and got out of the way before Kyle's wooden hand managed to squish him to a pulp.

"I do know that!" Kyle shot back, his robes rippling around him as he raised his staff and there was a rumble of thunder. As a thunderhead appeared above Tweek's head, it was all the blond could do to avoid being stuck by localized bolts of lightning. "I'm far more powerful than you'll ever be, just give up!" Ignoring the lightning as he saw an opening, Tweek could feel electricity course through his body as he slammed his club into Kyle's shoulder, causing the wooden hand to meld back into the floor as the redhead hissed with pain.

"You're not p-powerful, you just think you are!" Tweek spat at the boy, even as he felt his twitching get worse. It had been the lightning, he knew. He was definitely getting low on health, and it was all he could do to dodge the boy's swing of his staff. As the steel brushed through his hair, Tweek suddenly dropped and rolled, ending up on the other end of the room. "You're just an Elf, w-we're Humanity!"

"That's lame," Kyle grunted, his staff glowing again. The windstorm that it whipped up kept Tweek from being able to get in close for another hit. "You're just that fat asshole's puppet."

Looking up at the ceiling and noticing a remaining branch that had sprouted because of Kyle's magic, Tweek shivered hard before leaping up and catching the thing with his free hand. Glaring at Kyle, the blond swung himself, throwing himself up and over the wall of wind so he was aimed directly at the redhead's face. As he flew through the air, his club coming around so it could strike Kyle's head, Tweek growled fearsomely and yelled, "I'LL NEVER BE ANYONE'S PUPPET, LEAST OF ALL CARTMAN'S!"

Just before his club connected, a blade came up, shielding Kyle, throwing him off course. Suddenly, Tweek felt the sharp edge cut across his chest, leaving a bloody stripe behind. As Stan lifted his chin and stared down at Tweek, the boy firmly said, "Stand back my Lord, I'll handle him."

Realizing that he was outmatched, Tweek yanked his last smoke bomb out of his pocket.  _It's now or never._  Looking at the thing in confusion, Stan asked, "Wait, what's that?" even as Tweek was lighting it. Waiting until the thing was about to go off, the Barbarian lobbed it at Stan's face and watched with satisfaction as the thing exploded, filling the keep with thick, white smoke.

"Grr- The Humans will rise again!"With that yell, Tweek beat his quick retreat, swinging out of the keep and down the ladder as fast as he could with the injuries that he'd sustained. Even though his body was crying out for medical attention, Tweek still managed to knock the Ranger that was beneath him off of the tree as he went, watching him fall with satisfaction. Though he wanted to find Craig, Tweek knew that Daniel had explicitly said not to. The boy would come, Tweek just had to get out.

Looking around at the other Humans still fighting the Elves, all of them horribly outmatched, Tweek hollered out, "RETREAT!" before swinging down the tree as fast as possible, dodging arrows as they flew at him. One of them lodged in his back, but he just grit his teeth and kept moving, maneuvering around the truck so he could get as close to the gate as possible. As a Ranger came running out at him, Tweek judged the distance between himself and the ground quickly.  _OH JESUS THIS ISGONNAHURTAUGH!_

With a yell, Tweek leaped off into the smoke beneath him. His legs instantly flared up with pain, but he ignored them as he ran towards the fence, knocking the archer that tried to get in his path aside with one sweep of his short sword. As Jesse and Terry fell in step behind him, Terry still lobbing fireballs as he ran, Tweek gritted his teeth and pushed harder, finally breaking out of the gate and running across the grass outside at last.

Letting out a whoop as Russell cheered, Tweek looked around and spotted Daniel bringing up the rear, a smile on his face. He had a bloody gash that ran from his hairline to his upper lip, but that didn't seem to be dampening his cheer in the slightest. Chest swelling, Tweek realized that they'd done it. They'd made it out alive and hopefully, Craig had gotten the plans.

As if to confirm this, Russell called, "I saw Craig already heading back to Kupa Keep. We fucking did it! We beat their sorry asses!"

Celebrating with the other boys, Tweek felt a thrill of pride race through him. He couldn't wait to find Craig and tell him what had happened. All he could think about was the boy's slight smile and the way he'd ruffle the blonde's hair as he said  _I'm proud of you._  The thought made him feel like he could touch the sky.  _Craig_  made him feel like he could touch the sky.

Letting out a cheer as he finally burst into the kingdom of Kupa Keep, Tweek raised his club above his head as the Humans already aware of what was going on clapped, obviously knowing that they'd just fought the Elves. Looking around for Craig, Tweek spotted the boy's blue chullo and raced for him, holstering his club as he went. He wasn't exactly sure what he was about to do, but he knew that his heart was swelling so large that it felt like it was going to break out of his chest and his mind was just one long cry of joy.

"Ngh- C-Craig! We did it!" Arms thrown wide, almost like he was going to hug the Noirette, Tweek felt his heart pound even harder as Craig started to turn around. He was about to tackle Craig when there was a flash of curly blond hair and Tweek found himself skidding to a halt, even as his brain went from screaming with joy to cold, horrible silence. Because there, already hanging off of Craig's arm where Tweek  _should_  be, was Bebe.

As his stomach started to twist and rebel, Tweek's head grew fuzzy as he stared at the two of them. Craig wasn't smiling at him, there was no pride in the boy's eyes. There was just confusion, as if he couldn't figure out why Tweek had been so excited. In that second, Tweek felt something break inside him, shattering like so much glass.  _He doesn't even care about celebrating with me, does he? He doesn't even have the time to be happy. Because he's already got Bebe…_

"Tweek! Craig was just telling me about what happened!" Bebe was saying happily, her face lighting up as she saw him. "He said you were amazing!" But Tweek was already backing up, shaking his head numbly as he looked between the two of them, his insides freezing up as the ice crawled up his throat and the alien started clawing at his innards once more, tearing them apart. He couldn't breathe, why couldn't he breathe? Why were his eyes burning? Why had everything suddenly gone so wrong?

"Tweek, you look pale," Bebe said, starting forward, a look of worry on her face. "Is something wrong?"

"N-NO!" Tweek found himself choking out, his throat refusing to work. As the burning behind his eyes started getting worse, he twitched horribly and found himself screaming, "I NEED TO FIND CLYDE!" Without daring to look at Craig, for fear he'd see that same, blank expression, Tweek turned around and bolted.

Seeing Clyde near the medical tent, Tweek couldn't even begin to stop himself from barreling into the boy, who caught him clumsily, stumbling back at the impact. "Woah, Teacup!" the boy exclaimed, pushing Tweek back a bit before his eyes widened and he looked him up and down. "Tweek! You're injured! You need a healing potion!" Pushing a bottle into Tweek's hands, the brunet insisted, "Drink it." Doing so, hardly caring about the injuries that were healed, Tweek let out a tremulous sound as his hands jerked and he dropped the rest of the health potion onto the snowy ground.

Looking at him with worry in his big eyes, Clyde tilted his head and asked, "Why are you over here Teacup? Shouldn't you be with Craig?"

At the sound of the boy's name, Tweek felt the alien leave a particularly horrible gash in his stomach. "I don't w-want to be near him." Tweek pushed out through lips that were trembling, the pressure behind his eyes only getting worse. "H-he's with Bebe, he d-doesn't want me around." Shivering, curling in on himself at the feeling, he found himself whimpering horribly as something hot and wet spilled out over his cheeks. "Ngh- I- I just want- I just… Oh god…" Lifting his hands up, Tweek pressed his palms against his eyes, only to find tears spilling out between his fingers.

"Oh, Tweek…" Instantly, Clyde pulled the blond into one of his crushing, smothering hugs. Even though it did nothing to make him feel better, Tweek still buried his face in the boy's tunic and let out a weak sob as his whole body convulsed with shivers. "It's okay, we'll go home, you've done enough today," Clyde assured him, pulling him back, away from the rest of the Humans, who were all yelling and chanting something indistinct.

Allowing himself to be pulled away, Tweek put an arm over his face and wiped at his tears, even though they wouldn't stop flowing. He wasn't even sure what he was supposed to say, he felt so stupid for crying, but he couldn't help himself, it all hurt too much. As Clyde started to pull him around the castle, the last voice he wanted to hear called out to them.

"Hey, Tweek, were are you going?" Curling in on himself at the sound of Craig's voice, Tweek bit back a whimper and refused to turn around and let the boy see what a mess he truly was. Thankfully, he didn't need to. Stepping in front of him, Clyde tilted his head up and crossed his arms, puffing up his chest.

"We're leaving, Feldspar," Clyde informed the Noirette coldly, his tone firm and clearly unwilling to take Craig's shit. When the taller boy started to protest, Clyde quickly snapped, "No, go back and enjoy the celebration, Teacup and I are leaving. Besides-" His tone went dark. "Don't you have a girlfriend to look after?"

Before Craig could respond, Clyde turned back around and put an arm around Tweek's shoulders, leading him away. More kindly, his tone softening back to the sympathetic pitch from before, Clyde said, "It's fine Tweek, I promise."

Even though his tears still hadn't stopped and if felt like he was leaving his heart back in the snow with Craig and the spilled healing potion, Tweek nodded and followed Clyde away from Kupa Keep.  _It doesn't matter, you're being stupid. It doesn't matter, that's how these things work. It doesn't matter, Craig can do what he wants._  But it still hurt, and Tweek just wanted the alien in his stomach to stop ripping him apart from the inside out.

Some things, even a Barbarian wasn't strong enough to fight off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cries while still attempting to laugh evilly*
> 
> H A H H A H HAH...
> 
> It hurts.
> 
> On the bright side... they got what they came for?? Yay??


	67. Mistakes Were Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that chapter took something out of me. 
> 
> Telesthesia is a life saver.
> 
> So first off, Happy birthday to Captain_Cap! I'm so sorry I had to give you angst on your birthday darling, but the plot had to move forward.
> 
> Secondly, ART!
> 
> Of course, the first is by Mianewarcher, everyone's favorite~ Honestly, if there is one person that makes me fucking regret writing this angst, it's her. These pictures that she does, it does not help me feel better about it. In fact, you could almost say it makes me feel like more of an asshole! Seriously though, this picture of Clyde leading the crying Tweek away fricken killed me man. You can just taste the contempt Clyde has for Craig at this moment and the pain that Tweek is feeling is just too real. It hurts, everything hurts. I've gone numb. Why am I even alive anymore? Her other drawing makes it a little better though. It's of the High Jew Elf himself, in all his kingly glory. Honestly, if there was one image that screamed _king_ , it's this one. I love it so much, it almost makes up for the pain the other picture made me feel. Whatever, you're probably tired of me attempting to describe something that is clearly too awesome for me to comprehend -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169793795875/semantically-challenged-ch-64-teamalphaq-jesus<\-- so just go check it out yourself.
> 
> The second piece of art was done by generously-deafening. This one is an amazingly intricate drawing of our favorite clockwork Craig. It honestly took my breath away with how many things they managed to weave into one drawing. No one is allowed to tell me that this isn't beautiful. In terms of style, it's gorgeous, in terms of subject matter, it's so deliciously bittersweet. You really do need to see it, I'm not sure if I can do it justice describing it. -->https://generously-deafening.tumblr.com/post/169760200072/y-youre-usually-not-scary-ghn-b-but-sometimes<\-- So yeah, look at it.
> 
> The third was done by smashedkittkate and it's of chapter 45 when Tweek and Craig were sitting in the tree staring at the stars. Someday, they'll escape that fucked up town, but until then, they'll be fucked up together. I actually started crying when I saw this, I'm not gonna lie. To be honest, it doesn't help that my emotions are very fragile at the moment, but just the simple sweetness of the image, the hope contained within it, and the realization of how far they have left to go just broke me. It's beautiful and you need to see it. -->https://smashedkittkate.tumblr.com/post/169797815963/someday-well-get-out-of-south-park-just-you<\-- really, if you aren't looking at these pictures, the only one you're hurting is yourself.
> 
> Now, without further ado, grab your tissue boxes~
> 
> Enjoy.

This hadn't been Craig's idea of victory.

Okay sure, he'd felt fucking amazing when he'd actually gotten the pictures and escaped, but now that he was out and still able to hear the sounds of fighting coming from the Elven kingdom but was unable to help, it sort of sucked. It didn't help that it felt like he was being suffocated by people, all of whom wanted to know what was going on. He wanted to know what was happening too, but he was almost as clueless as all of them.

Humans had started to gather the moment the explosions had started. Word had spread quickly through the carrier ravens that something was happening, but no one had dared go over there for fear of getting massacred. Of course the moment Craig had blasted into camp, twigs sticking out of his costume and a light in his eyes, things had started to make sense.

Bebe had been the first one out of the castle, heading straight over to Craig with a single-minded purpose. He was really trying to explain to her what had happened, but he was spending most of his time craning his neck in a stupidly vain attempt to see if everything was alright. All he could see was the smoke and hear the screams.  _Tweek's still over there._  Craig wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, but he couldn't stop himself from worrying slightly about the boy. If Kyle and the other Elves decided to take prisoners… Well, Craig didn't want to think about it.

"Craig- er, Feldspar, please focus." Bebe had her hands planted on her hips and a slightly irritated expression on her face like she wasn't sure how to get him to listen. "Where's Tweek? Why are the Elven kingdoms on fire? Princess Kenny's been checking the carrier ravens and Token was using the –ah… Mirror of scrying? To figure out what's going on." Snapping her fingers in front of his face, startling him into looking down at her, the girl huffed. "We just want to know what's going on."

"I already told you," he said flatly, turning around so he could look to the gap in the fence that Tweek would probably come through before turning back to Kyle's yard. "Daniel had a crazy plan and we went with it and it worked out. Tweek's still over there fighting."  _He was supposed to fight Kyle. If that dick hurts him, I will kill him…_

"Feldspar, be a dear and tell us what  _still fighting_ entails?" Kenny twittered, tossing his blond hair out of his eyes. "I don't recall us ever agreeing to attack the Elves, do you, Bebe? This sounds an awful lot like you all went off and-"

"Fuck off McCormick," Craig said easily, feeling more and more frustrated by the moment.  _Why did I agree to something like this?_  They should be leaving soon, that or the fighting should stop because something happened. Eventually, it would have to be over, right? Why was it dragging out so long?

Unexpectedly, Bebe grabbed his arm and tugged it. "Tweek isn't fighting Kyle, is he?" she asked, her eyes sharp. Glancing down at her, Craig took a breath before nodding shortly and tapping his foot. As if this put everything into perspective, Bebe turned to Kenny and said, "M'lady, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, you'll probably want to get everyone else out here. This is going to be important and they're probably going to be low on health."

Turning her eyes back on Craig, Bebe hummed under her breath before saying, "Okay, so what was the plan."

Finally managing to pull his attention away from whatever was going on with Tweek, Craig tugged on his chullo with the arm that wasn't being held captive by Bebe and said, "The only way we were going to get anywhere was if we knew what the Elves were planning, but the Grand Wizard and everyone else wasn't going to figure out jackshit, so we took matters into our own hands. Daniel planned a diversion, Tweek was supposed to pretend to go after the stick, and I was supposed to look at the battle plans." Patting his pocket, where his phone was, Craig said, "I have pictures of it for Token."

"Pictures of what now?" As the black boy drew up beside Craig, the Noirette, reached into his pocket and handed Token his phone. One eyebrow quirking up, Token took it and turned it on so he could look at the pictures. "You guys are impressively stupid," the boy muttered under his breath, whistling softly. "I mean, I sort of figured most of this out, but wow…"

"Tweek's still back there," Craig told Token, even though he wasn't sure why he couldn't let it go.  _He'll be fine, it's Tweek, he knows what he's doing._  Pulling on his arm again, Bebe drew Craig's attention away from Token, who was showing Kenny the Elven battle plans, and back to her.

"Was Tweek doing alright?" she asked curiously, her big brown eyes soft and calm. Unable to quite draw from Bebe the same level of calm he could from Tweek, Craig took a moment to order his thoughts before finally speaking.

"He was a badass," the boy admitted, his eyes growing distant as he remembered Tweek's mischievous grin and the way he'd tugged at the Noirette's hat, almost teasingly. "It's been a while since we've been able to have fun like that, I think we all needed it. But you should have seen him." Shaking his head, half in disbelief, Craig's eyebrows went up as he said. "He was a fucking beast, just taking people out left and right like it was nothing." As he spoke, he could feel the tension in his shoulders start to release.  _Of course he's going to be fine, he's way stronger than he used to be._

Smiling in that way of hers that Clyde had once described as heavenly, Bebe giggled and said, "I bet he was amazing. I wish I could have seen it."

"I wish I could have watched more as well." Even though his voice was still his usual deadpan, Craig's blue eyes lit up at the words. "But I had a job to do." Eyes turning back towards the Elven kingdoms, Craig muttered, "If we had been allowed to have more people, I think we could have taken the stick. The smoke bombs made it seem like we had more people than we did though, so we were fine." Snorting, he added, "Damn, I had fun."

"Well, politics isn't for everyone," Kenny quipped, before pointing out something to Token, who nodded. Rolling his eyes at the comment, Craig went back to looking at Bebe, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm glad you two got to have fun," she said, before leaning around Craig and saying, "Lady McCormick, if everyone just played with politics, then you wouldn't have a leader because the Grand Wizard would get bored of it."

"True that," Kenny agreed, giving a lady-like giggle at her remark.

Suddenly, there was a swell of noise around them as the Humans in the Kingdom all started cheering loudly. Finding himself being shoved around as the people who'd been listening to him talk about the fight when to see, Craig was momentarily disoriented and it was only thanks to Bebe keeping a hold on him that he wasn't pushed over entirely when several people shoved past him at once.  _They're back,_  Craig realized, a buzzing filling his chest.  _Tweek's back._

As if he'd been summoned by the Noirette's thoughts, a sudden cry of joy cut above the rest of the noise. "C-Craig! We did it!" Turning around slowly, slightly hampered by Bebe's grip on his arm, Craig expected to see Tweek, his face, glowing with pride, running for him. Maybe a little beat up, but still happy. What he found instead left him feeling cold and confused.

The boy's arms were thrown wide like he'd been about to hug Craig, but he wasn't going towards the Noirette, no, he was backpedaling slowly. He was covered from head to toe in angry purple bruises, and that usually would have been enough to make the taller boy upset. But that wasn't what was so off about the situation, no it was the look of horror on Tweek's face that made Craig's stomach drop. _No, that's not right, he's supposed to be excited. He sounded excited just a second ago, what's going on?_  Tweek didn't look happy at all, he looked like he wanted to scream actually. As he continued to back away, twitching harder as he did so, Craig furrowed his brows in confusion, wanting an explanation but unsure how to ask for one.

Clearly noticing Tweek's distress as well, Bebe put a smile on her face and gushed, "Tweek! Craig was just telling me about what happened! He said you were amazing~" Craig expected the boy to at least say something, but he just kept moving away, shaking his head as he did so. Though he had war paint streaked over his face, Craig could still see the color drain from the blonde's cheeks. There was pain intruding on his eyes, clouding them, making the green dim horribly. Feeling something cold settling in his gut as he watched it, Craig took a step forward, only for Tweek to jerking violently.

"Tweek, you look pale." Pulling Craig with her, Bebe started walking towards Tweek, worry covering her bright smile. As the boy twitched harder, she asked, "Is something wrong?"

"N-no." To Craig, that tone was so much worse than a panicked screech would have been. Tweek's voice sounded broken like there was something stuck in his throat that was keeping him from talking right. Worse still, his eyes were going from cloudy to weirdly shiny, like something was horribly wrong. No, Craig didn't need to be a genius to be able to see when something was making Tweek upset and right now, the blond looked like he wanted to simply fall to his knees and… Cry?  _Why isn't he looking at me? What the hell is going on?_

Before Craig could ask, however, Tweek shivered violently and shrieked, "I NEED TO FIND CLYDE!" Eyes darting to the side, the boy suddenly ran away, shoving through Humans as he did so.  _What the hell?_  Feeling confusion and no small amount of dread settling in his stomach because  _they'd just fucking won, why was Tweek upset_  Craig blinked several times before pushing himself into action.  _Did I do something wrong?_ His brain was still trying to change lanes and it was making him feel disoriented. _Why did he say he had to find Clyde?_ Shaking it off in an attempt to keep his mind from scattering, Craig decisively started to head towards where he'd seen the blond disappear to when Cartman got in his way.

"Feldspar, I heard that you just attacked the Elves," the boy was saying, though the words were hardly registering because Craig had lost sight of that halo of blond and  _fuck, what was going on?_ "Though I hardly condone your methods, I have to admit, you guys were pretty cool. That was the kind of plan I was waiting for Token to-"

"Shut up," Craig pushed out, attempting to move past the boy, shaking Bebe off when she tried to pull him back.

Instantly, Cartman's expression soured. "Excuse me Feldspar, what did you just say?" Looking down at the boy, trying to clear the thoughts of Tweek from his head long enough to think through what the fatass was saying, Craig gave up and just flipped Cartman off before shoving him out of the way.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" But Craig wasn't listening, all he could think about was Tweek and the pain in those bright green eyes that shouldn't have fucking been there and  _why_  had it been there at all. He could hear people around him calling his name, yelling congratulatory things out at him, but they sounded distorted, he couldn't understand what they were saying.  _Where did Tweek go?  If he_  is _upset then why does he have to find Clyde_ _?_  There were so many questions, but Craig couldn't focus on any one of them long enough to actually answer them.

_Maybe he went to the medical tent. He was pretty banged up after all._  Decidedly heading that direction, Craig walked past the edge of the castle and was about to head straight to the tent when something caught his eye and he stuttered to a halt. Standing there in the shadow of the castle, almost like he was hiding, was Clyde. In his arms, held tight in such a way that made something nasty and hot rear up in Craig's stomach, was the trembling form of Tweek.

He didn't know why, but for a second, all of the worry that had been building up vanished as the sudden urge to get upset at Clyde filled his mind. Obviously, Tweek was upset, but then why was he with Clyde? Why had he run away from the Noirette in the first place? Why was the blond hugging  _Clyde_ of all people when he didn't even like most people touching him when he _was_ in a good place mentally? Like some horrible monster, the questions rose up and took over everything else in the taller boy's mind. It didn't matter that Clyde was Tweek's friend too, it didn't matter that the brunet hugged the blond boy all the time, there was something different about this that made Craig's blood boil.

_Fuck, I shouldn't be thinking about something like this right now._  Shoving down the desire to forcibly separate them, Craig took a step forward only to hear Clyde say, "It's okay, we'll go home." As he ushered Tweek away, completely oblivious to Craig's presence, the boy continued, "You've done enough today." Instead of saying no, instead of going back to Craig which is what Tweek  _should_  have done if he were upset, the blond boy just nodded meekly and rubbed at his eyes with his arm, like something was wrong with them.  _Wait… Is he… Crying?_

Irritation at Clyde momentarily forgotten, Craig found himself opening his mouth and calling, "Hey Tweek, where are you going?" It sounded weak, especially when he had so many things he wanted to ask, but he wasn't sure how to word the rest of it sensibly. So he just settled on what he could articulate in the hopes that Tweek would stop walking away and come back and tell Craig why he was crying. Instead of turning around, however, Tweek just flinched and hunched his shoulders, almost like he was scared. Clyde on the other hand instantly whirled to face Craig, and the Noirette was taken aback by the angry look on his friend's face.

Crossing his arms and lifting himself to his full height, the boy icily informed him, "We're leaving, Feldspar," clearly sure that he was speaking for both himself and Tweek.  _What the hell?_  Feeling that irrational frustration at Clyde rise up again because, okay, not even letting Tweek speak for himself was just one step too far, Craig's brows furrowed and he started to say as much when Clyde cut him off. "No, go back and enjoy the celebration."  _Enjoy what celebration?_  "Teacup and I are leaving."

_What gives you the fucking right-_ _No, Clyde's my friend, I'm not supposed to be upset with him._ Struggling to draw himself back together, Craig was about to speak again when Clyde sniffed in contempt and added, "Besides, don't you have a girlfriend to look after?" With those words, which hit Craig out of nowhere with how unrelated and honestly nasty they were, the boy turned back to Tweek and put his arm around the boy's shoulders before pulling him around the castle and out of view. Unsure what he was even supposed to do, Craig just stood there for a minute, his mouth hanging open. Because Clyde had just walked away with Tweek after pretty much telling him to fuck off and how the  _fuck_  had he even gotten to this point? What the hell was going on?

He'd been talking with Bebe about the fight, right? And then Tweek had shown up. But for some reason, Tweek had been upset by something that had caused him to run to Clyde. Then Clyde had... What? Comforted him? When Craig had tried to confront Tweek about what was wrong, Clyde had told him to fuck off and then they'd both left. It still didn't make a bit of sense, no matter how many times Craig replayed it in his mind. As a headache started to overtake him, Craig hissed out a curse and grit his teeth together against the pain. He kept trying to figure out what might have happened, but all he was able to see was Clyde's arm thrown protectively around Tweek's shoulder and it was fucking with his head.

Fighting down the anger that was attempting to obscure his other thoughts, Craig finally pushed the thoughts from his mind and drew in a deep, shaking breath. For a moment, he wondered what he was supposed to do, but then the answer presented itself to him clearly.  _I've got to go after them._  Fuck what Clyde said, he was going to talk to Tweek and figure out what was wrong. That's how he did things when it came to the blond, why would he do anything different now? If Tweek was upset about something, and he most definitely was, then Craig would make it better. He'd... he'd ruffle the blonde's hair and tell him it was okay and ask what was wrong until Tweek told him and everything was better. It sounded entirely weak and useless to put it into those terms, but it fucking worked so that's what he was going to do.

He was just about to follow them when a voice stopped him in his tracks. "Craig, where are you going?" _Not right now, please not right now._  Bebe's tone held an indiscernible emotion, but Craig didn't even want to bother with turning around to figure out what it was.  _I have to get to Tweek, something's wrong, I have to-_  To what, make it better? When he was probably the one to have fucked everything up in the first place? And clearly Clyde was doing an excellent job at replacing Craig so why was he about to run off when he'd probably make it worse?  _Because it's always me, whenever Tweek is upset, it's always my fault these days._  He almost wanted to sneer at his own patheticness. As his chest began to fill with self-loathing he stiffly turned around and faced Bebe, who had her arms crossed and her mouth set into an unimpressed line.

His own face settling into his usual deadpan, Craig lifted his chin and said, "I'm going after Tweek." What else did she think he was going to do?

But Bebe raised an eyebrow as if this answer wasn't good enough. "No, you actually aren't, you're staying right here." She said it with such conviction, Craig couldn't help but bristle.  _Of course I'm fucking leaving, I fucked something up and now I have to fix it._  The longer it went, the more certain he was that this was all somehow his fault.  _And now Clyde's pissed at me as well. Fuck fuck fuck-_  

Unaware of Craig's internal monologue, Bebe shook her head and asked, "And what do you mean Tweek left? He was here just a moment ago."

Crossing his arms, Craig impatiently informed her, "I think I fucked something up. Tweek got upset at me, so he just left. Clyde went with him." The image of Clyde holding Tweek close as he comforted the blond flashed through Craig's mind and it was a struggle to keep his face flat and keep his inexplicable anger from showing. "If I did something wrong, then I want to know what it was. I have to go after him and ask him." Deciding that this was explanation enough, Craig started to turn around only for Bebe to grab him by the front of his shirt and turn him back around.

"You're only just realizing you screwed something up?" Bebe asked, making it clear that she thought Craig was an idiot for not seeing it sooner. "No, I'm getting ahead of myself, Craig, why on earth are you running after him if you just made him upset?"  _Isn't Bebe just supposed to understand things like this automatically?_ Well, obviously not because she clearly wasn't understanding what Craig was saying. He was making perfect sense, if she'd just listen, she'd get it.

"I don't know if I did something wrong, but he ran away from me so it probably was my fault," Craig told the girl impatiently, his brows furrowing. "I thought that you were supposed to talk to people if you screwed something up. What else do you want me to do?"

Letting go of him so she could put a hand to her temple, the girl shook her head and muttered, "Craig, please look at me and tell me, honestly; do you think that going after him while he's upset is actually going to help?"

"It's always worked before," Craig said stubbornly, frustrated that she was trying to stop him. Every other time something like this had happened, he'd been encouraged to go after Tweek, to talk to him, what Bebe was saying was going against what little he knew about handling relationships.

"I'm pretty sure this is a little more complicated than those other times if you don't even know what you did wrong," Bebe pointed out, her collected attitude quickly falling apart at the seams. Craig didn't blame her, he was having a hard time not getting upset himself. Hell, it was probably too late for that, but at least he was fucking trying to stay calm, right?

But he didn't have time for calm, he had to get to get to Tweek. Before the boy got it into his head that Craig didn't care, before everything went to shit more than it already had. _They're probably already halfway to Clyde's house by now. Why is she trying to stop me?_  "What else am I supposed to do? Just ignore it? How is that going to help anything??"

Huffing in irritation, Bebe crossed her arms once more and snapped, "Craig, Tweek looked like he was about to  _cry."_

"HE DID FUCKING CRY!" Craig suddenly burst, his flat tone increasing in volume suddenly. Finding his frustration coming to his tongue all too easily, the Noirette continued, "He was fucking crying and  _Clyde_  was hugging him and fuck that, I'm Tweek's friend and I was the one who made him upset so I'm the one who needs to go and fix it. Clyde doesn't get to step into something that has nothing to do with him like this."  _I sound like an asshole,_  he realized. Unfortunately, he couldn't make himself give a shit.

Besides, he didn't need to tell himself anything because Bebe was more than happy to do it for him. "You sound selfish, Craig Tucker," she informed him, all of the patience and nice-girl attitude he'd seen up until this point having evaporated. "He might be your friend but he's Clyde's friend too and right now, I don't think it's your place to be going after him. Besides, you have duties you have to deal with here."

"Fuck. Duties," Craig said very clearly as if he thought that this point wasn't already abundantly plain. Hands balling into fists, Craig continued, "Clyde wasn't the one who fucking became friends with that spaz in the first place, _I was._ He's not allowed to come along and pretend to know what's best for Tweek, _no one is,_ only I-"

_Smack!_

Suddenly, Craig was holding the side of his face in shock as Bebe glared up at him, her hand still raised as if she were thinking about slapping him again. "Get a fucking grip," she hissed out, her eyes narrowing. "If you think for even a second that _this-"_ She gestured at him. "Is something that's going to make Tweek feel any better then you know absolutely nothing. You do  _not_  own him and you do not get to decide who he can and can't run to for help when you've decided to go and screw something up."

"I don't even know what I did!" Craig protested, echoing Bebe's words back at her. He was still rubbing his cheek, unsure what else he was supposed to do. "I'm not-"

"I don't care if you don't know what you did wrong, I don't care what you think you are or aren't doing. Tweek has every right to feel upset and if he wants to deal with it by going to Clyde then you will stop acting like a jealous asshole and get over it." Breathing heavily, obviously winded by her own speech, Bebe drew herself back together and said, "Now, are you going to keep acting like a six-year-old who has to share his toys, or are you going to pull yourself together?"

Still staring at her, unsure how he was supposed to react to what she'd said, Craig let his hand fall back to his side softly.  _Jealous? Am I really acting jealous?_  But she had a point, didn't she? He was acting like a piece of shit and clearly he'd already been enough of a fuck-up to make Tweek cry so why did he think he'd be able to fix anything?  _Jesus, Clyde's like my brother, why am I jealous of him? He's protecting Tweek, which is what I've been trying to do for months now. Why am I being an asshole about it?_

Expression softening, Bebe sighed and swept her hair behind her head before giving Craig a sympathetic look. "I know you want to help Tweek, I really do. I want to know what's wrong as well, but currently, you have to placate Cartman before he throws you out and you have to play the part they've given you, otherwise you'll destroy all the work we've done already. If you go after Tweek now, not only will  _you_  hurt him more, but all of the people here that you're trying to keep him safe from will make his life hard to. Do you want that?"

"No," Craig muttered, his voice sounding hollow to his own ears as his insides started to rot away from the guilt eating at him. "No, I don't want that."

Stepping into the shadow of the castle with Craig, Bebe lightly touched his arm before softly saying, "You do know that Tweek isn't going to abandon you for someone else, right?" For a moment, Craig was confused as to why she'd said this, but as the words started to sink in, he realized that she'd managed to hit the very core of the emotions churning around inside of him.

"Fuck, I know that," Craig muttered, looking down at the ground. He felt childish, getting upset over something like this, but on the other hand, he was a child, so maybe it was normal. To be honest, he'd never cared enough about a person to feel  _jealous_  in any sense of the word about them. Token and Clyde were his friends, sure, but he didn't care when they hung out without him and even when they did hang out with Cartman's gang or something for extended periods of time, he wasn't  _jealous._  Hell, it hardly registered at all.

But Tweek was somehow different. He'd gotten irrationally upset over the idea that someone other than him could possibly make the boy feel better and it had made him act like an idiot. It was scary that the blond could evoke such a powerful emotion in him when literally nothing else ever had or could, and Craig didn't like it, but he didn't know how he was supposed to get rid of it when the feeling clung to him like some sort of malignant tumor.

From beside him, her voice soft, Bebe continued, "I know that you… feel very strongly about Tweek. You want to protect him, and you're upset, probably because no one else has protected him for years."

As another icy lump took up residence in his stomach, Craig grit his teeth together. Though he'd never put the feeling into words before, somehow, Bebe's calm statements drew the feeling from him without his conscious decision to let it slip. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Craig admitted, "I'm upset that I watched him get put through hell for years and I never even thought twice about it." Drawing in a quick breath before letting it out slowly, the boy flatly said, "I never hurt him, but I never stopped anyone either. I wish I'd stood up for him sooner." Snorting bitterly, he added, "I had to fucking beat him up to see that I wanted to protect him."

"Sometimes it takes making a mistake to learn that there was a right way to go to begin with." Bebe's voice filtered Craig's conscious, making him grit his teeth harder and suddenly pull his hands out of his pockets so he could press back against the pressure that had suddenly formed behind his eyes. As he rubbed his face vigorously, the girl continued, "But you figured it out, didn't you?"

"I can't just punch him and make things better," Craig ground out, his usually monotone voice sounding uneven, even to his own ears. "I don't  _want_  to punch him and pretend that makes things better. At least then we were both angry, now…" His voice died away and he just made a helpless gesture. "What's wrong with me?"

"You're upset because the person that you care about doesn't need you as much as you need them." Craig sucked in a breath and held it, wishing he could make the pressure behind his eyes go away. Bebe's voice was so collected, which only made the Noirette more aware of how much of a mess he was. "You're upset because Tweek turned to Clyde instead of you."

"You're right, I'm a selfish asshole," he muttered, his voice coming out oddly choked.

"Craig, you do know that most normal people feel like you do at some point in their life?" Bebe asked, her voice gentle. "Upset, because someone who meant something to them pushed them away? You're allowed to feel angry, you're allowed to be sad. Heck, it would be weird if you didn't!" Pulling his hands away from his eyes, Craig stared at Bebe, looking between her eyes as he tried to understand what she was saying. "But it's one thing to be upset about it, and it's another thing to act stupid because of it."

"I know he's allowed to have other friends, okay?" Craig pushed out, his breathing coming out shaky. "I know that he's not going to forget me or some shit, I know that I was the one who made him upset but it still… I still pisses me off." Desperation touching his voice, Craig asked, "What did I do to him?"

For once, Bebe didn't have an answer. "Honestly, I don't know Craig." Sighing, she said, "I think that there's a lot going on for him right now, and sometimes when emotions start running high, things are bound to break eventually."

"He doesn't like me dating you," Craig found himself saying, unable to keep his mouth shut. When Bebe's expression didn't change, he pulled down his chullo and muttered, "I don't know, that's the only thing I can think of. I didn't think he'd give a shit about this whole thing between us, but I can tell it makes him upset, even though he tries to blow it off. I don't get why though, it's not like I'm going to forget him, he's… He's Tweek."

"I bet you know how he feels now," Bebe said lightly.

Hit with what she was saying, Craig's mouth fell open for a moment before he found his voice and muttered, "It fucking sucks."

"It does, especially when you can't do anything about it." The girl's laugh sounded almost sad. "He's probably not even upset with you, he just can't tell the difference between you and the situation we're all in."

Unexpectedly, a savage desire to tear something apart came over him and Craig's hand tightened till his knuckles went white. "Fuck everyone here. Fuck what they think we should and shouldn't do. You should have dated Clyde and they should have left me out of this." Even though he knew it was probably rude, he had to get it out before it drove him crazy.

"You're probably right." Turning sharply so he could stare at Bebe, he found the girl smiling ruefully at the sky. "But maybe this is one of those times that we have to make a mistake before we find the solution." Twisting her head to the side just enough to look Craig in the eyes, the blond-haired girl said, "Maybe, we're going to have to wait for those emotions to explode before we can find out what the right thing to do is."

"I still want to go after him," Craig told Bebe frankly.

"I know you do, but this time, you have to wait till he comes to you." When Craig just stared at her, his mouth a terse line, Bebe sighed. "Look, come and play nice with Cartman and then when we're done, we can leave. I'm pretty sure I can make something up to get us out of here. Then we can text him and if he wants to talk to you, then you can go find him, alright?"

Puffing out a breath, Craig attempted to stand a little straighter. "Fine," he muttered. It wasn't what he wanted, but he knew at the same time that it was the best thing to do.

"Good, now come on, let's go make the Grand Wizard calm down." Taking his arm carefully, in that pristine way she treated most everything about this relationship, Bebe stepped forward into the light, pulling Craig after her. Even though he didn't exactly feel much better, and even though there was still that pressure behind his eyes, Craig knew that he was probably doing better than Tweek, so he should suck it up and pull himself together. Sure, it felt like something inside of him was ripping apart as he stepped out of the shadows, something that he needed to stay alive, but it was probably just his imagination. It was just irrational jealousy, something everyone felt at some point.

It didn't matter if his insides felt hollow, it didn't matter that he felt dead. He'd be fine, it was Tweek who deserved to be upset, he would be fine. The pressure behind his eyes would probably go away eventually, and Tweek would talk to him later. And if he didn't… Well, then Craig would get over himself because he had fucked up and the situation was bad and thinking about it wasn't going to make it better. It was stupid to want to break down into tears, he was Craig Tucker and he wasn't going to be a fucking baby about it.

Things  _would_  get better, right?

At least he'd have something to distract himself with in the meantime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my defense, I told you to be ready. 
> 
> Let's be honest though, no one is ready for me.


	68. Man, I Could Kill For Some Tacos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not apologizing for all of this angst. But it's okay, there's angsty fan art today to make it all soo much worse. 
> 
> Watermelon--felon did the most adorable piece of art for the last couple chapters and it hurts but I love it anyway. It's a picture of Tweek crying and backing away from Craig. My poor boy looks so upset, I can't even *cries a little bit* *okay, cries a lot* Honestly, I don't even deserve this, thank you so much. -->https://watermelon--felon.tumblr.com/post/169837943188/hello-911-yes-id-like-to-report-this-fanfic-for<\-- Yall should go and look at it, just in case this chapter doesn't make you cry enough.
> 
> I'm sorry this is thirty minutes late!! It got really long and I didn't want to cut it. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek had never been to Clyde's house before.

He'd sort of known where it was, after all, it was right next to Craig's house. The Noirette had probably commented on it at least once or twice, but it hadn't quite registered. It wasn't like he'd had a reason to go there. Yes, he was Clyde's friend as well, but it had been Craig who'd been responsible for Tweek actually going anywhere. Since their usual choice of hangout was Token's house, for obvious reasons, Tweek had just never thought about Clyde's house.

It was normal. Currently, Tweek could do with some normal.

His tears had finally dried, during the walk from Cartman's house he'd managed to pull himself together in some small way, but Tweek was hardly calm. No, he felt like a nervous wreck. Clyde had tried his best to help Tweek feel better on the way there, but it hadn't done much good. Though he'd managed to forget this little fact after spending so much time around a person who could calm him down, Tweek was forced to remember that his panic attacks weren't usually so easily contained.

Of course, he hadn't actually had a panic attack, no, Tweek was pretty sure he'd just broken into tiny pieces instead. The only thing still holding him together was his pasty pale skin, stretched tight over all the little shards that made up his bones and his organs and his scattered thoughts. If he fell, he'd turn to dust, nothing left of him but the memory of a broken boy who had never really had much worth in the first place.

Speaking of worthless, Tweek kind of wanted to die at that moment. He felt stupid for breaking down like that over something so small. Looking back on it, all the blond could remember was how devastated he'd felt to find Craig absorbed in his own life instead of paying explicit attention to him. No matter which way he looked at it, Tweek knew he was being selfish and overdramatic. There was no reason to cry over something like this. He shouldn't be upset.

But he still was, he still felt like he was dying, he still wished that he could simply cease to exist because that would be much easier than dealing with this.

The weight around his shoulders suddenly lifted as Clyde pulled away so he could dig around for a key. Standing there numbly, his arms still hugging his chest, Tweek stared at the ground as the boy cursed several times before there was a subtle click. Allowing Clyde to grab for his arm, Tweek glanced up and found the brunet watching him worriedly. Behind his eyes, the blond could almost see the remanence of that anger he'd showed when he talked to Craig and its presence made him twitch violently before letting out a whimper.

"Come on Teacup," Clyde insisted, carefully pulling him through the door of his house. "There's no point standing outside." Shuffling through the door, Tweek stood there numbly as he watched his friend close the door behind him and lock it once more. He wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. Unlike when he was around Craig, the silence here felt awkward, though that might have been because of everything else that had happened.

Mind inevitably wandering to Craig, Tweek remembered the boy's confused face when he'd run up to him the first time and it made his chest ache. Rubbing at the pain ineffectually, Tweek had an abrupt flash of fear run through him as he wondered if Craig was upset at him for leaving.  _Jesus, what if he's pissed at me! I shouldn't have left, but I just didn't want to deal with him! I didn't want him to see me cry, I don't want him to know what a bad person I am._ Shaking harder, Tweek found his hands crawling up into his hair.

"Tweek?" Clyde asked, clearly confused as to what was wrong now.

 _Oh god, he probably thinks I'm a coward and he hates me now!_  "JESUS WHY DID WE LEAVE?!" Tweek screeched, the pressure in his head getting to be too much to contain. Yanking on his hair hard enough to make his scalp ache, the blond trembled and moaned in terror.

"Hey, it's okay," Clyde attempted to say, reaching for him, which only made Tweek recoil as fear started to cloud his vision. "Tweek, come on, what's wrong?"

"EVERYTHING!" Tweek all but screamed, his whole body convulsing in violent shivers.  _I screwed up! This is all my fault! Why did I even have to get upset in the first place, Craig did nothing wrong! He's never going to even look at me again and then I think I really will die! THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_  "I'M GONNA –GHN- DIE!"

"Hey! Teacup, chill!" Clyde grabbed his wrists and firmly pulled his hands out of his hair, snapping Tweek out of his panic for a moment.  _Oh god, I'm trapped, I can't get away, why is he keeping me here why?!_  Struggling to get free, Tweek only succeeded in wrenching his arm painfully, which in turn forced him to take several deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. "Come on, what's wrong?" Tweek didn't want to answer, but Clyde just kept staring at him pointedly, the worry in his eyes battling with an attempt at composure.

Swallowing any number of things he could have yelled, Tweek struggled to put himself back together enough that he could answer. "C-Craig's going to –ngh- h-hate me for leaving, isn't he?" the blond mumbled, still shaking badly. "Jesus, h-he's never gonna talk to me again! I made such an idiot of m-myself…"

Waiting till he'd finished, Clyde gave Tweek a pointed look and firmly said, "He's not going to hate you Teacup, and if he does then he'll have to get over himself because I won't let him act like that to you over something so small. If he doesn't like that we left, he can suck it up." Involuntary sounds escaping from his throat, Tweek anxiously nodded and tried to believe what Clyde was saying, even though he wanted to scream about it some more. "Besides, Craig should be the one worrying because he's the one who screwed up."

 _WHAT?_  Shaking his head frantically, Tweek clenched his fists before squawking, "N-No! This is all my fault! Craig didn't –rrr- do anything wrong!" When Clyde just raised an eyebrow at him, Tweek pulled his hands free so he could clutch at the Manbearpig pelt and insist, "He was just with his –grrr- girlfriend, he- he didn't…" Biting his lip to hold back the horrible sick feeling that attacked Tweek's insides, the blond shook his head and muttered, "I've already told you I'm th-the fucked up one."

Huffing out a breath, Clyde crossed his arms before saying, "You're not screwed up Tweek, it was just… Just a series of unfortunate events or something, okay?" Carefully grabbing Tweek's wrist, his grip light enough that Tweek could pull away if he wanted, Clyde said, "I get it, things are really confusing right now, but just… forget about Craig for a bit, alright?"

Eyes traveling up to Clyde's face nervously, Tweek let out a soft sound before muttering, "How do I stop thinking about it?" Rubbing at his chest again with his free hand, the blond mumbled, "Ngh- It r-really hurts, I just want it to s-stop hurting."

"I know," Clyde said, pulling Tweek deeper into his house, keeping his gaze trained on the blonde's face the whole time. It looked like he wanted to say more, but he couldn't find the words, so he just kept tugging Tweek along while watching him sympathetically. As they reached the base of the stairs, Clyde stopped and took a breath before saying, "Y'know Teacup, sometimes it doesn't just stop hurting?"

Jerking, Tweek let out a cry at that and his free hand flew to his hair.  _Why would he say something like that?! Jesus, what if I'm actually dying, what it that's why it won't stop hurting! Emotions aren't supposed to feel like this! I just want Craig to make it better, but he's with Bebe right now and I'm already screwing their relationship up enough. They haven't even been together a week, why am I acting like this!?_

Scratching the back of his neck, Clyde muttered, "Ah, shit, that sounded really bad. Token would be better at explaining this." Looking at the ceiling as if he might find answers there, Clyde finally looked back at the panicking Tweek and said, "Some things really really hurt Tweek, and sometimes there isn't an easy answer? I don't know, I just know that when my mom died it really sucked, and the thing that I wanted that would have made it better was her, but she couldn't exactly come back, so it's not like I had an easy solution. Maybe this isn't the same, but I guess what I'm trying to say is not all problems work out right away. You just have to figure out how to be happy despite them, you know?"

When Tweek just stared at him, his mouth open slightly, Clyde puffed out a breath and said, "Yep, it's confirmed, I'm horrible at explaining things." Letting out an awkward laugh, the boy said, "Come on Teacup, let's get you some warmer clothes, and then we'll do something that doesn't have anything to do with Craig."

Nodding numbly, Tweek put his head down and followed Clyde up the stairs. He felt a little worse, acting like this when he was around Clyde. Though he didn't often think about it, he knew that Clyde's mom had died when he was young and yet he was so happy, you wouldn't have known. Tweek felt horrible, acting like he had a reason to be upset when he was talking to someone who had every right to feel miserable. But at the same time, if Clyde had managed to be happy after something so tragic, then maybe he could feel better too.

Though he couldn't quite push Craig from his mind, considering how big a part of his life the Noirette had become, Tweek did succeed in controlling his shaking somewhat and he let go of his hair as well. Maybe he was still upset, but Clyde was here, offering him some way to forget about his problems for a little while, so Tweek figured he should take it.  _Besides, I don't want to talk to Craig right now. I'll just start crying if I see him, and if he asks why I'm upset, I won't have a good answer._

As Clyde pushed open his bedroom door and pulled Tweek in after him, he quickly started digging about in one of his drawers, calling over his shoulder as he did so, "I know that my stuff won't fit you, but you wear Craig's clothes and it doesn't kill you, so this probably will be fine too, right?" Making a non-committal sound, Tweek wiggled out of his weapons' belts and tossed the Manbearpig pelt over them. He felt exposed without anything on, and he couldn't help but cross his arms over his chest as he shivered. Thankfully, it didn't take Clyde long to find something.

Pulling out a long-sleeved shirt with the words,  _I'm Just That Awesome,_  printed on it in faded letters, Clyde looked it over before tossing it to Tweek. Fumbling it, the blond let out a yelp before scrambling for it and struggling into the shirt. It felt weird wearing someone else's clothing when it wasn't Craig's, but he didn't want to complain, so he just bit his lip and fussed with the sleeves, which were indeed too long.

Apparently satisfied with his job, Clyde watched Tweek for a moment with furrowed brows before brightening and excitedly saying, "Oh! I just remembered, there's something I've been wanting to show you!" Grabbing for a sweater, which had been haphazardly thrown onto the floor at some point, Clyde quickly pulled it over Tweek's head, forgetting to let him put his arms in, all the while saying, "I mean, I've been meaning to show you and Token and Craig for a while now, but we're so busy with the game and it's always dark out when we get home and besides, I haven't had it finished. I only just got it all together now! You're going to love it Teacup!"

Feeling mildly stunned by Clyde's exuberance, a common occurrence for Tweek when it came to Clyde, the blond just allowed himself to be pulled along after the brunet by one of the unused sweater sleeves as the boy hurried them both out of his room and down the stairs. "I guess it's really silly of me to have even made it at all, but I'm still pretty proud of it, you know? I mean sure, I don't have any reason to use it and I got most of the materials from really weird places, but you're still going to love it!"

"W-what is it?" Tweek asked, wiggling his arms in an attempt to push them through the armholes of Clyde's sweater without hurting himself. "Jesus man, is it something bad? Are you m-making a bomb or something?!" At the idea of a nuclear warhead just standing around in the back of Clyde's backyard where anyone could set it off, Tweek twitched violently and screeched, "OH GOD, ITS G-GONNA BLOW UP EVERYTHING MAN!"

Chuckling, as if the idea of wiping South Park off the map wasn't at all concerning, Clyde pulled Tweek through his kitchen and said, "No, it's not a bomb Teacup, I'm not smart enough to build one of those." Stopping for a moment, almost as an afterthought, Clyde quickly darted towards the old coffee machine sitting on the counter and fumbled with the coffee pot, moving it over to the sink so he could fill it with water. Glancing back at Tweek, who had finally managed to struggle into the sweater properly, only to realize that it was on backward, Clyde jerked his head towards the coffee pot and asked, "You want coffee?"

Twitching, unable to deny the wash of relief that ran through him just at the idea of coffee, Tweek remembered his spilled expresso from earlier that morning and said, "Y-yeah, that would be great!" Fiddling with the cuffs of Clyde's sweater, still wishing he was wearing his own clothing instead, or better yet, something of Craig's, Tweek twitched his gaze towards the back door and mumbled, "S-so if it's not a bomb, what is it?"

"Patience, young padawan," Clyde said wisely, before breaking down into giggles. "Come on Teacup, don't worry so much. I wouldn't make something horrible. I promise." As he turned on the coffee maker and swiveled back to face Tweek, Clyde's eyes lit up and he said, "So, are you gonna tell me what it was like to attack the Elven Kingdoms? I heard something about you fighting Kyle, did you really fight the High Jew Elf himself?"

"Jesus man, he w-was so powerful!" Tweek exclaimed, pulling at his hair as he remembered Kyle's powers. "I thought he was going to kill me!"

"Tell me what happened though!" At Clyde's insistent words, Tweek found himself tentatively recounting the story of the battle. Though it made him think of Craig, and thoughts of the boy made the alien in his chest get upset, Tweek couldn't help but smile as he told Clyde about fighting Kyle. By the time the coffee was done, he was bouncing about the kitchen, waving an imaginary club as he screeched about the battle and how crazy it had been. Through it all, Clyde watched with rapt attention, which, though Tweek tried not to think about it, was exactly what he'd wanted Craig to do.

"Man Teacup, you always get to do the cool stuff," Clyde said, waiting as Tweek scrambled to fill the ancient thermos the brunet had offered him with coffee. "I know that Cartman sort of hates you two, but you still manage to be really cool."

"Ngh- Y-you're still cooler than me!" Tweek insisted, jamming the cap onto Clyde's thermos and allowing himself to be pulled once more for the back door. "I'm not cool at all, y-you've still been doing this for longer than the rest of us!"

"Not by much Teacup, besides-" Clyde ruffled the boy's hair playfully before pushing open the door. "I don't get to wear war paint every day." Considering the conversation done, Clyde half pushed, half pulled Tweek out the door before sweeping his arms wide and announcing, "BEHOLD, MY CASTLE!"

Looking up slowly because he had to, his mouth slowly falling open as he did so, Tweek looked up at the massive fort, its towers and walls putting to shame everything that Cartman and Kyle had combined. The whole thing was done in rather mismatched building materials, and it was all constructed around the giant tree in the middle of Clyde's yard. It was bright and happy looking, despite the fact that its size made it a little daunting. Only the roofs matched, all of them shingled in a cheerful red.

"So, whatcha think?" Pulling Tweek forward before he could answer, Clyde all but dragged Tweek over to the small moat he'd made and the drawbridge that was still in varying shades of graying wood. Yanking it down, making the brick pillars on either side of it tremble slightly, Clyde continued, "I mean, I know it's not all that cool, but I've worked really hard on it."

"Clyde –ngh- it's  _awesome,"_  Tweek said, his voice a hushed breath. Twitching, he looked over the castle once more, amazed that his friend had made something like this. "Why did you m-make something like this?" Following the boy up the happy wooden stairs that lead to the main building, Tweek looked at the cobbled together wooden archway that led into the lower level. It was all so much to take in, he was struggling to keep his jaw from hitting the floor.

"You really think so?" Clyde asked, his eyes wide and happy at Tweek's words. Grinning from ear to ear, the boy said, "Well, I mean, I don't think I'm going to use it for anything, but it's still an epic fort, and I dunno, I always thought that if Cartman was mean to you, we could all just leave the Humans and form a new faction over here and this could be our castle."

Looking at the huge tree trunk in the middle of the room and the upper floor it supported, Tweek glanced at Clyde and said, "Jesus man, y-you don't really mean that!" When Clyde just kept grinning, he stared around, feeling slightly lost at the idea of  _this_  being his castle. It was all too easy to picture Craig being there as well, Token too, just the four of them against the rest of the world. They'd be able to do it though, of that Tweek was certain. Even though everything had become so screwed up, Tweek could still picture what it would have been like if all of the bad things that had been happening were to go away. "That would be s-so cool."

"I know, right?" Slinging an arm over Tweek's shoulders, Clyde gestured widely and said, "Just think of it Teacup, I could be the king, and you and Craig could be my commanders, and Token could be, I dunno, the priest or something. We'd kick so much ass." Jumping, as if remembering something else, Clyde was suddenly pulling Tweek along once more, headed for the ladders that would take them higher up. "If you think this is awesome, wait until you see the top!"

Twitching, even as he followed Clyde, Tweek found himself asking, "Have you ever th-thought about leaving the Humans anyway?" Stopping on the level above Tweek, Clyde was silent for a moment as he watched the blond climb. Feeling self-conscious about his question, Tweek shivered and yelped, "NEVERMIND! F-FORGET I ASKED!"

"No, it's fine," Clyde said, helping Tweek up so he could head for the next ladder. "I have thought about it actually." Starting to scale the next ladder, even as he kept talking, Clyde continued, "I mean, it sounds really stupid, but I feel like I get forgotten when you and Craig are doing such awesome things. I guess this whole thing with Bebe sometimes just feels like one hit too many. I do wonder if it would be better just to become my own entity so that I could do what I wanted and be awesome without other people to tell me who to be."

Staring at the boy as he followed him up the ladder, Tweek twitched and found himself saying, "D-don't leave, okay Clyde! Th-the game wouldn't be fun anymore without you." Shivering, Tweek mumbled, "I m-mean, the reason I wanted to join at all was –ghn- because you told such cool stories about it!" It had also been because of Craig who had clearly wanted to join as well, but Tweek would have probably been too scared to do anything if it hadn't been for Clyde's encouragement.

Smiling at him, his eyes going soft, Clyde said, "Thanks, Teacup, I'm glad that someone still wants me around." Laughing at Tweek's yelp, the boy insisted, "Come on! We're wasting time, it's so cool up there!" Showing Tweek how to use the tire swing he had hanging from the ceiling to get up to the next platform, Clyde caught the blond before he could fall off the ledge and pushed him over to the ladder, urging him to go up first. "I know it's really tall, but I wanted it to be amazing."

As he moved out onto the significantly more rickety ledge, Tweek had a sudden image of himself toppling to the ground and he hugged the side of the castle, his eyes shut tight. "JESUS MAN THIS IS SO D-DANGEROUS!"

"No it's not!" Passing by the shivering form of Tweek, Clyde danced out over the terrifying drop on the thin wooden bridge out to one of the side turrets and wheeled up the grate he had over the door of the main tower. "I mean, okay, maybe a little, but it's sooo worth it. Trust me!" Scampering through the door, eager to be out of the open air, Tweek looked around the brightly lit room in amazement, awed at how much time Clyde had put into this.

Walking in behind him, Clyde made a picture frame with his fingers and said, "I can just picture it; if anyone attacked the castle and got this far, this is where you and Craig would fight them off." Pointing to the little alcoves at the bottom, he said, "Craig would sneak out from there, and you'd jump off of that platform up there and scare them!"

Shivering, Tweek shook his head and mumbled, "No way man, I'm n-not that cool!"

Shrugging, Clyde said, "I think you are." Already tired of talking, Clyde raced over to the rope ladder and swarmed up it like he'd done it a million times before. "Come on Teacup, we're almost there."

Following him, imagining fighting off people in here with Craig's help, Tweek had to admit that it did sound pretty fun.  _As long as I'm with Craig, most things are fun._  The moment he thought about the Noirette however, he felt his stomach twist so he shoved the thoughts into the back of his head so he could follow Clyde through the green curtains and up a flight of badly built stairs. Breezing through the small hall and through the door labeled  _throne room,_  Clyde caught Tweek before he could trip and fall off of the narrow path.

"Careful Teacup," the boy chuckled, pulling him over to the throne room. It wasn't so much a room as it was a pavilion, with a balcony stretching around the whole thing. Keeping a tight hold on Clyde's arm as the boy carefully lead him over the bridge to the final level of the castle, Tweek twitched as the brunet pulled him around the throne and to the edge of the castle. "This is what I wanted to show you."

Looking out, Tweek's eyes widened to the sizes of saucers as he looked over the whole of South Park. Wandering over to the other sides of the impressive tower, Tweek looked over and saw in the distance both Kupa Keep and the Elven kingdoms. Though he couldn't make out any people from where he was, he could imagine all of the kids over there and it made something in him hurt. Sure, Clyde's castle was amazing, but Craig was over there, and all Tweek wanted was to see the boy.  _But what would I say to him? What am I even doing?_

"Go on, say it." Turning to Clyde sharply, Tweek let out an involuntary noise as the boy watched him, a slight smile on his face. When Tweek just twitched in confusion, Clyde looked out over the view as well and threw his arms out, like if he jumped off the edge, he'd fly. "Come on, I saw the look on your face. You're still upset about the whole thing with Craig. So just say it. Yell it! Just let it out, why you're upset. Token says it helps if you talk about your problems." Chuckling, Clyde added, "Well, I don't really like talking about my problems, and I don't expect you to want to try and talk about it either. But I promise if you yell up here, no one will be able to hear you but me."

Twisting back to the long drop down, Tweek clutched the rough railing tight enough to feel the splinters working their way into his skin and shivered, trying to figure out what he'd even yell. Except that wasn't the point, right? _Clyde isn't going to hate me for it, so why not?_  So instead of trying to word something that made sense, he just opened his mouth and yelled the first thing that came to mind.

"RRR- I W-WISH THAT CRAIG AND BEBE HAD N-NEVER STARTED DATING!" As his own words echoed back at him, Tweek cringed back and bit his lip, suddenly feeling self-conscious.  _Oh god, I look so stupid, why did I just do that?_

"CARTMAN IS A FATASS AND KENNY IS A SHITTY PRINCESS WHO DEFINITELY ISN'T THE FAIREST IN THE LAND BECAUSE BEBE IS WAY PRETTIER!" Leaping back, almost tumbling over the railing, Tweek jerked around to find Clyde grinning at him, his hand still cupped around his mouth.  _Did he just yell that?_  Chuckling, Clyde said, "Come on, it's your turn now. Keep yelling Teacup."

Turning back to face the open air, Tweek found the words already bubbling in his gut. With a screech, Tweek yelled, "THIS WHOLE GAME IS S-STUPID AND I WISH THAT THINGS WOULD JUST GO BACK TO NORMAL!" Dissatisfied with this, Tweek followed that up with, "I HATE –GHN- KENNY FOR MAKING CRAIG DATE BEBE! I WISH THEY'D BREAK UP!"

As if this had been the right thing to do, Clyde put both hands to his mouth and yelled, "I HATE IT WHEN THIS GAME MAKES ME SKIP LUNCH, I REALLY WANTED TACOS TODAY!"

"I WISH I WASN'T F-FUCKED UP! I WISH I WERE –RRR- NORMAL!"

Despite his own conflicting emotions, Tweek couldn't help but smile as Clyde followed up his words with, "DAMNIT TOKEN, DON'T TELL ME THAT CRYING MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A BABY. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT TWEEK THINKS MY TEARS ARE VERY MANLY!"

"YEAH, IT'S OKAY T-TO CRY!" Tweek agreed, finding himself laughing as Clyde grinned like an idiot. "YOU'RE ALL JUST IDIOTS! F-FUCK THIS GAME AND FUCK THIS –NGH- TOWN!" As an afterthought, Tweek added, "AND TACOS SOUND REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW."

Laughing, Clyde fell backward from the railing so he could sit on the floor of the tower and clutch at his sides. "Man, I'm so glad that Craig made friends with you, you're awesome Teacup."

Twitching, Tweek stumbled back from the railing and tumbled to the floor as well, only just now remembering the thermos he had held under his arm. Pulling it out and gulping down several sips, the blond looked over at the brunet and softly said, "D-do you think it's wrong for me to be upset about Craig and Bebe –rrr- dating?"

"Nah, it's fine," Clyde assured Tweek, leaning back so he could lay out across the floor of his fort. "Heck, I'm upset about it too. I know I said we needed to be good friends for him, but it sucks." Letting out a long sigh, the boy twisted so he could look up at Tweek. "I think it's normal for us to be upset though. I really wanted to date Bebe, so I'm jealous of Craig right now. And I think you're jealous too."

 _WAIT, WHAT?! I DON'T WANT TO DATE CRAIG WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS?_  Letting out a screech, Tweek ended up tumbling backward, the thermos rolling away from him across the floor. "JESUS, I'M –ngh- NOT INTERESTED IN CRAIG ROMANTICALLY WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS!?"

"Who said anything about liking him romantically?" Clyde sounded genuinely confused. "Tweek, you don't need to think of someone romantically to be jealous."

Feeling his whole body go hot with shame, Tweek let out a yelp and scrambled to hide behind Clyde's throne.  _Oh god, why did my mind go there? He never said anything about romantic stuff, I just assumed because he was talking about Bebe! Now I look so weird, why did I say anything!?_  He twitched violently and yanked on his hair, wishing he could sink through the floor and just fall to his death already.  _Jesus, what's wrong with me!_  "I JUST ASSUMED!" Tweek yelled at Clyde, hiding his face in his knees. "I'M SORRY!"

"No, it's fine." Crawling around the corner so he was sitting facing Tweek, Clyde said. "Why did you think I meant it like that?"

"I don't know," Tweek mumbled into his legs. "W-what other ways can you –ghn- bejealousjesus!"

"I dunno, I was pretty jealous when Craig started hanging out with you." Nudging Tweek with his toe, Clyde continued, "I felt like you were stealing away my friend, but then I started to realize that Craig still remembered me, and you were just an addition. And besides, you're pretty cool so I couldn't be that upset. Things change, you just need to get used to it."

Peaking up at Clyde, Tweek shivered and said, "D-do you think I'll –ghn- get used to Craig and Bebe dating?"

Shrugging, Clyde said, "Probably. You've just got to remember that at the end of the day, Craig's still your friend and he really does care about you."

Hugging his knees tightly, twitching, Tweek mumbled, "Okay…"

Clyde opened his mouth to say something else, but there was the sound of something buzzing and he stopped so he could pull his phone out of his pocket. Frowning as he looked at the screen, most of the joy that had been on his face earlier draining from it, Clyde muttered, "It's Craig." Twitching at the name, Tweek gripped his legs a little tighter as Clyde said, "He wants to talk to you. What do you want to do Teacup?"

Shivering, Tweek looked at the ground and mumbled, "I- I don't know."

Pressing his mouth into a firm line, Clyde said, "Then don't." Getting to his feet and pulling Tweek up as well, the brunet said, "You can stay over tonight and talk to him tomorrow. We'll watch Red Racer and do stupid things and you won't have to think about it at all."

Nodding slowly, Tweek managed a small smile. "Th-thanks Clyde."

"Any time Teacup," Clyde said, before suddenly crushing Tweek in a hug. "You're my friend too after all." Right about then, Tweek was pretty sure he needed all the friends he could get. Allowing Clyde to pull him towards the exit, the blond cast one last glance towards Kupa Keep before turning away decisively. He could talk to Craig when he was ready.

For now, he just wanted to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while, but who's ready for question time!!?
> 
> I'm curious, what's the stupidest reason you've had for dropping a story? Like, you were enjoying (or not) but something turned you off of it and you just never finished it. Personally, (and goddamnit this sounds stupid) I've dropped stories because they got something stupid like the eye color wrong. The weirdest things make me stop reading, I mean, I get irritated when I can't comment on every chapter, or if there's not enough angst, or if there's not enough fluff... Sometimes I wonder how I ever find stories to read XD I'm so picky, it's not even funny.
> 
> But yeah, I want to know what you guys think!! Toodles for now~


	69. Sleepless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, O.O I'm glad I'm not the only whose dropped stories for really stupid reasons XD I thought I was just crazy. It's times like this where I'm really blown away by the fact that so many people read this story. It's amazing that I haven't turned more of you off to it.
> 
> But until such time as you all run screaming, there's fanart~
> 
> As always, I like to start this part out right with some art from everyone's favorite illustrator, Mianewarcher. She has come down from the heavens to gift us with the cutest motherfucking drawing of Tweek screaming about his problems. God, him and Clyde are just so adorable, I don't even know what to do with myself. As if that wasn't amazing enough, she drew both Clyde and Tweek eating tacos and KILL ME NOW BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE THIS LEVEL OF FLUFF. I was made for angst!! It burns us precious, it burrrnnnnssssss~ But it's so adorable, I can't keep it to myself. -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169870073455/semantically-challenged-chapter-68-teamalphaq<\-- I know I've said this a million times before, but you need to be looking at her stuff. She pretty much draws something every chapter so I don't know why you wouldn't...
> 
> The second one was done by the fabulous Jinclair~ They drew the scene when Craig catches Clyde hugging Tweek and urgh, the feels in this one are real. Goddamnit, no matter how many times I have to go over this scene for plot reasons or because someone drew art of it, the pain hits me hard every time. But at the same time, it's beautiful and heartbreaking and they're an excellent artist so you need to see this one. -->https://aminoapps.com/c/south-park/page/blog/another-semantically-challenged-fanart/G3em_KkHnu0VQzZEPzgkEbK4m4zMLvlXaJ<\-- *cries* It's okay, I didn't need my heart anyway.
> 
> The third and final one was done by watermelon--felon and it will cure you of all of your problems that have been caused by my angst I s w e a r. It's the sweetest and really one of the most aesthetically pleasing drawings I've seen and I love it so much. It's of Craig and Tweek sitting on their tree, staring out over the snow-covered hills of Colorado and ugh, it gives me hope for the future of this story. Tweek and Craig are just so adorable, and I _know_ they're only 10, but darlings, the love is REAL. -- >https://watermelon--felon.tumblr.com/post/169870226908/if-you-havent-noticed-i-really-love-semantically<\-- It's the background of my phone now, not gonna lie, I'm in love~
> 
> Now, on with the chapter~!
> 
> Enjoy.

_Dund-thunk._

Craig caught the stupid ball that had rolled out from under Stripe's cage and threw it at the wall once more. It bounced off, hit the floor, and landed in his hand.

_Dund-thunk._

Stripe let out a soft series of squeaks.

_Dund-thunk._

"Don't look at me like that," Craig muttered to his guinea pig, who was at the bars of his cage, staring at the Noirette with those button-like beady eyes. "I don't need that from you right now." When Stripe just wiggled his nose, Craig sighed and tossed the ball one last time, watching as it bounced off the wall before rolling away and vanishing under his bed somewhere. Giving his clock a quick glance, Craig stared at the numbers blinking back at him.  _Two-thirty in the morning._  "Goddamnit…"

Slowly pulling his legs up so they were tucked against his chest, Craig hunched his back and slowly caved in on himself, burying his head in his hands. He wasn't tired, no, he was so far beyond tired that the word had ceased to hold any sort of meaning to him. Part of him wished he could sleep, the rest of him knew that there was no way he'd ever manage to drift off at this point. Clenching his fists, gradually crushing the hem of his chullo, Craig grit his teeth together and fought back the heavy sensation in the back of his throat.

Everything was pretty much numb at this point. He almost wished for something to hurt, just so he could forget the horrible, smothering feeling of  _nothing._

It wasn't rocket science to figure out what had put him in this state. Hell, his phone was still lying on the floor where it had landed after he'd thrown it at the wall. It sounded so helplessly immature to act like that, but it hadn't exactly been a conscious decision on his part. He'd just sort of reacted. Clyde's passively aggressive message was still burned into his mind.  _No Craig, Tweek doesn't want to talk to you right now. He needs some time to calm down._  Yeah, as if Bebe hadn't already hammered into his head that everything was fucked right now.

Even after he'd sat through Cartman's bullshit, even after he'd done his best to not be such a fuck up for an entire painful hour, even after he'd given Tweek space, just like Clyde and Bebe had insisted he do, it still wasn't enough. Tweek was still upset enough with him that he didn't want to see the Noirette, and there was fuck all that Craig could do about it. Just picturing him curled up, probably in Clyde's bed, happy because he wasn't around Craig made the tall boy feel angry and horrible all around.

Bebe had said it was jealousy, Craig just wished that now that he understood that he was subconsciously worried that Tweek would forget him that the feeling would go away forever.  _Stop being such an asshole Tucker, you're a piece of shit, no wonder Tweek doesn't want to have anything to do with you. He deserves friends like Clyde and Token who aren't complete fuck-ups and who can actually fix shit instead of just making things worse._

He felt like he wanted to throw up, but there wasn't anything in his stomach to expel at the moment. A soft groan escaping his lips, Craig's head turned slowly towards Stripe, who was snuffling around the bottom of his cage, probably for missed food. Taking a breath, Craig watched the furry creature and mumbled flatly, "Heh, I probably deserve this or something, don't I? I've been such a piece of shit recently, letting everything get so fucked, this is probably just… I don't know, what I deserve I guess. Token would probably have a word for it."

Raising his head, Stripe let out a squeak or two before going back to his search.  _Even my guinea pig probably wishes I'd just go away._  Laughing, the sound feeling nothing short of strangled, Craig wished that he would start feeling tired, because at least if he got some sleep, he wouldn't have to think about this shit anymore. Though knowing his luck, he'd probably end up having a dream about it or something.

Just as he was about to slump over and lie on the floor pathetically, there was a sound that momentarily shook him out of his self-pitying state. Jerking upright, Craig lunged forward and grabbed his ringing phone and quickly silenced it before it woke his parents up. Irritated, the boy squinted at the screen only to feel a knot of suppressed anger rise up.  _Clyde, what the fuck does he want at two in the goddamned morning._  Tempted to throw the damn thing against the wall again, Craig just denied the call and dropped it to the floor. If Clyde honestly wanted something, then he could fucking text. Craig never liked phone calls and he definitely didn't want to talk to the brunet right now. Not after everything that had happened.

As the flash of jealousy started to dissipate, Craig was left feeling sicker than before. God, Bebe would have slapped him again if she saw how pathetic he was being. He'd never been like this before, god, both Token and Clyde could have collectively decided to abandon him entirely and make the rest of the school ignore him and Craig would have probably survived better than he was now. It would have sucked, he probably would have punched both of them, but then he'd have just sucked it up and kept moving.

Right now? He felt like he was dying, which was stupid and pathetic and honestly he needed to get his shit together and act like he knew what he was fucking doing. He didn't, but that was irrelevant, right? It was just Tweek.

Hah, the biggest fucking understatement of the century.

Unexpectedly, his phone started to vibrate again. Staring at the thing, looking at Clyde's name in irritation, Craig ground his teeth together. He didn't want to fucking answer it, but if the boy was going to call twice in a row, then it had to be something important, otherwise, he would have just texted. Groaning, Craig dragged his finger across the screen, answering the call. After a moment of silence, the Noirette muttered, "The fuck do you want at Two in the fucking morning?"

 _"Ngh- I c-can't sleep and I think th-the underpants gnomes are here!"_  At the sound of that hushed screech, Craig's stomach dropped and his whole demeanor changed. Shooting up, the boy's fingers tightened around the device from which the sound of the only voice he'd really wanted to hear had come from.

In a voice that he had no shame in admitting was little more than a croak, Craig pushed out, "Tweek?"  _What is he doing, stealing Clyde's phone?_  But that question took a backseat to the fact that the boy was talking to him at all. After all the fretting and worrying and pain that he'd been going through the day before, Craig could hardly believe it but _god_  it had been all he wanted. "What are you doing?"

 _"JESUS I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE C-CALLED IMSORRYIWONTBOTHERYOU!"_  At once, there was a beep as Tweek hung up on him, leaving Craig sitting there, his mouth still hanging open.  _Wait, what?_  Part of him at least made an attempt at thinking about what Bebe or Token would say about this situation, but the rest of him couldn't give less of a shit. Tweek had just fucking called him and fuck if he was going to let this slip through his hands like that.

Instantly going back into his recent calls, Craig hit Clyde's contact and waited impatiently as it rung. Though he suspected Tweek wouldn't answer if he was given the choice, Craig also knew that Clyde's ring-tone for him was a really loud and really annoying song which would probably freak the blond out and force him to pick up because chances were good he wouldn't be able to shut it off. It was mean, yes, but Tweek had called him and he wasn't about to let the blond get away with doing shit like that and not actually following through. Not when he was already an emotional wreck.

Just as he'd suspected he would, Tweek answered and yelped,  _"OH GOD IT'S SO LOUD WHY IS IT SO LOUD!?"_  Breathing out something like a laugh, Craig drew in a lungful of air and for the first time since when he'd watched Tweek leave Kupa Keep, the Noirette could actually feel his body again.  _"Jesus man –ghn- I d-didn't mean to call you and w-wake you up! Why did you c-call?"_

"Because," Craig said flatly, unsure how else to answer that question.  _Because I can't sleep either. Because I can't stand to think you're upset and it's my fault. Because you're the thing that makes me happy and colors my shitty world?_  Shaking his head because most of those sounded kind of weird, Craig took a deep breath and said, "Are the gnomes after you right now?"

 _"N-no, but they're coming for Clyde's underwear and –rrr-Jesus it's my fault! I'm h-hiding in his kitchen! D-do you think he'd be upset with that? Oh god, it's really cold in here."_  Resisting the urge to get up and fucking walk to Clyde's house just so he could be there with Tweek, Craig allowed some of the tension and stress to release from his body.

"Dude, no one would want Clyde's underwear, I guarantee it," Craig said wisely, even though he didn't know shit about the state of his friend's clothing.  _I should ask if he's okay. What if he gets upset though…_  Shaking off those thoughts, because he didn't want to think about that right now, Craig flatly asked, "Besides, why are you in the kitchen."

 _"I –ghn- d-didn't want to wake up Clyde! Or what if I'd -rrr- woken someone else up!?"_  Tweek answered in a squeak. Of course he didn't want to wake anyone up, Craig should have figured that one out at once. The blond was always so worried about stepping on people's toes, it was unreal. Craig would never have been able to exist like that. But at the same time, he liked that about Tweek, he liked everything about the boy.  _Maybe it really did take fucking up to see what I was missing._

"Did you sleep?"

 _"Jesus, y-you know me, man. Besides, -grrr- there are too many monsters in here to sleep. Clyde has g-ghosts!"_  Taking a deep breath, Craig dragged himself to his feet and walked over to his window, which until then he'd been very pointedly not looking out of. Though he couldn't see Clyde's kitchen from here, he could imagine where it would be, and he could almost picture Tweek in there, curled up on the cold tile floor, his eyes wide and worried. It made something weird form in the back of his throat.

Clearing it, Craig said, even though he didn't really want to, "Clyde'll keep you safe from them." He didn't want his friend to do that, didn't want the brunet to protect Tweek for him, but the blond was over there, and Craig wasn't there, so someone would have to do it. Anything to keep Tweek's mind off of his monsters was a good thing in Craig's book.  _And at least he's talking to me. That's more than he was doing earlier._

Letting out one of those involuntary sounds that tended to escape him when he was nervous, Tweek mumbled,  _"Ghn- H-he's okay at making them go away, but he can't m-make them stay away like you can."_  Even as Craig's heart did a weird flip-flop and his head started to go fuzzy, Tweek continued,  _"I –rrr- really don't like it. I w-wish I could just come over or something."_

Instantly seizing on those words, Craig said, "You can come over." He didn't want to sound desperate or anything, but he kind of was desperate and all he wanted was to see Tweek. All he wanted was for the stupid problems they'd been having to go away. Even though he knew only too well that they wouldn't he could pretend.

 _"Okay,"_  Tweek said it at once, almost like he'd been worried that Craig would say no.  _"I'm sure he w-won't mind, right? B-besides, I don't think I want to be here alone with these ghosts."_  Though Craig knew that he'd have to text Clyde in the morning to tell him where Tweek had gone, the Noirette didn't care much at that moment. His mind had narrowed to just this matter with Tweek, just getting to the blond as quickly as possible. Heh, it sounded stupid, but then, Craig had never claimed to be smart.  _"Ngh, j-just let me put Clyde's phone away, then I'll walk over."_

"No, I'll come and get you," Craig insisted, already shoving his feet into his boots he'd been wearing earlier and looking around for his coat as he realized that he was literally in a ratty tee-shirt and sweatpants and would probably catch a cold if he went outside like this.  _Ugh, I'm a mess._  "I don't want you walking over in the dark alone."

 _"C-Craig, it's just one house over,"_  Tweek pointed out, sounding a little confused. Realizing how stupid he sounded right now, Craig decided to just ignore all of the voices in his head telling him he was an idiot in favor of pushing open his bedroom door and creeping towards the stairs.  _"Y-you don't need to do that man!"_

"Just put Clyde's phone away and come over," Craig said in his usual monotone, feeling the balance of the universe return to normal once more as Tweek squeaked something about pressure before hanging up. Heading for his front door, unlocking it, Craig crept out of the house and glanced down the sidewalk into the darkness that would soon contain Tweek. Not bothering to close the door behind him, the boy stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked towards the dim light of Clyde's porchlight that was sputtering in the night air.

Almost like his presence was a charm, there was a squeak as Clyde's door opened and out popped the shivering form of Tweek. Staring at the boy, who was illuminated in the dying light, Craig felt his chest get tight to the point where he was pretty sure it was about to either explode or implode. Whichever came first, he assumed. Probably drawn by some sound that the Noirette had made, Tweek jerked his head around and stared at him, his green eyes brighter than Craig had ever seen them. Maybe it was just his imagination, but he wasn't sure that he had enough imagination to think of something like this. There just weren't words in his vocabulary to describe it.

"Craig!" Tweek's voice came out as a hushed screech. Forgetting for a moment he was supposed to breathe, the Noirette suddenly had to drag in a lungful of air before he passed out or something. Lurching back into action, Craig quickly walked towards Tweek, hardly caring about the snow that he was treading through or how stupid he looked or any of it. It had all sort of slipped his mind at this point.

"Ngh- Jesus, y-you weren't supposed to come outside!" Tweek still had his war paint streaked across his face, he was wearing Clyde's clothing and his whole body was shivering and shaking, but Craig just thought he looked just as amazing as he always did. He was Tweek Tweak, and he was supposed to look like a mess, Craig liked him that way. Clearly freaking out because of Craig's continued silence, Tweek shoved Clyde's door closed behind him before twitching and stumbling down the brunet's front steps.

Seeing the fall before it happened, Craig lunged forward and caught the blond, keeping him from face planting on the pavement. Wrapping a protective arm around Tweek, feeling his own mess of a mind calm down at the sensation of those familiar twitches traveling through his body, Craig just sort of pulled the blond closer, unsure what else to do. Face suddenly very close to Tweek's and his mind too full of emotions he didn't have a name for, Craig said the first thing that came to his tongue. "Careful."

And like that, the spell around them broke. With a whimper, Tweek abruptly wrapped his arms around Craig's neck and held on tight enough that Craig wondered if the boy was trying to choke him. Twitching horribly, his whole body convulsing with the involuntary movements, the blond softly pushed out, "Jesus Craig, I'm s-sorry! For everything!"

Fiercely, though his voice didn't change in saying it, Craig muttered back, "Fuck that Tweek, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who fucked up." Without even really thinking it through, mostly because Tweek had his arms around his neck and Craig still had an arm around the boy's back, the Noirette decidedly scooped Tweek up, cradling in his arms. Though Tweek let out a squeak of fear and no doubt panic, Craig just held him tighter and softly said, "Whatever I did, I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry for it all."

Allowing himself to be carried by the taller boy, Tweek just buried his face in Craig's neck and mumbled, "Y-you didn't do anything, I just… I –ngh- overreacted." Knowing that there was a whole lot more to it than that but unwilling to poke at such a sensitive topic, Craig simply walked back towards his house, content to finally have Tweek back where he belonged. So what if that made him jealous, Tweek was Tweek. If that made everything else different, why couldn't it apply to something like this too?

"I'm still sorry," Craig told Tweek, feeling the boy twitch at the words. Nudging his front door open with his foot before slipping inside to the thankfully warmer inside, Craig took a moment to push the door closed before walking towards his stairs, still not ready to put Tweek down. It was probably alright though since Tweek hadn't exactly loosened his hold on the Noirette's neck. The question about what had been wrong in the first place was still burning in the back of his throat, but he didn't ask it yet. He wasn't sure if it would freak Tweek out, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to when they weren't in his room.

"I'm s-sorry for running away, I- I just needed to –rrr- calm down and stuff," Tweek managed, his shaking increasing before steadily lessening. "B-besides, you had other things to worry about, y-you didn't- Jesus! You didn't need to deal with me!" Frowning at Tweek's words, Craig pulled the boy as close to himself as he could, wishing he could communicate without words how wrong the blond was for thinking that.

In the end though, he had to say something, so he awkwardly muttered, "You aren't a bother. Ever." Drawing in a deep breath, Craig edged his bedroom door open before walking into the room. Once he'd closed the door, he stood there for a moment, unsure what he was supposed to do. At last, Tweek took matters into his own hands and struggled free of Craig, all but tumbling to the floor.

Stumbling backward, his hair waving with his movements, Tweek instantly wrapped his arms around his torso before squeaking, "I still s-screwed it up, and I'm sorry. It w-won't happen again."

Staring at the boy, Craig softly said, "Tweek, what made you upset earlier?"

Looking up at him with big eyes that were full of an unnamable emotion, Tweek twitched violently before jerking his head around as if he were looking for something. Scrambling to a different corner of Craig's room, the blond dug up the pair of pajama bottoms he'd worn the night before and sat down on the floor so he could struggle out of the pants he was still wearing from playing the game earlier. Though Craig wanted to push for an answer, he just watched, knowing that Tweek would talk when he was ready.

True to form, as he struggled into the bottoms, Tweek pushed out, "Ghn- A lot of things, I g-guess. It's really stupid and –rrr- I shouldn't have b-broken down like I did, but I don't know…" Shaking his head, Tweek curled up there on Craig's floor where he twitched and itched at his arms. Looking up at Craig at last, the boy said, "I- I guess I just don't handle change well."

When Craig only stared at him, Tweek's fingers instantly jumped for his hair and he whimpered, "Jesus, I s-sound so stupid right now!" Obviously distressed about it, the boy kept yanking on his golden locks as he continued, "B-but things don't usually change for me, Craig! You and Bebe –ngh- dating and st-stuff, that's a lot of change." Swallowing hard, the boy looked around the floor as he mumbled, "I never had friends before, s-so nothing changed. But now, I have friends. And those friends change. God, it's s-so much pressure!"

"No one likes change," Craig said softly, kicking off his boots so he could walk over to where Tweek was sitting. Crouching before the boy, feeling a weight fall in his stomach as what Tweek was saying hit him, Craig struggled to keep his face calm as he reached out and gently ruffled Tweek's hair. As though it was a switch, Tweek's body relaxed and his hands fell out of his hair so he could lean into Craig's touch. "I hate change."

"B-but at least you know things change," Tweek mumbled, his eyes growing heavy, even though he'd gone back to itching at the clothing he was in. "I guess I –ngh- never realized things could change so much until now." Looking up at Craig, displacing the hand the taller boy had in his hair, Tweek earnestly said, "I'm trying! But Jesus, I'm r-really fucked up, and I g-guess it's harder for me." He sounded so guilty, Craig couldn't even begin to stop himself from moving forward and crushing Tweek in a hug.

"You're the good kind of fucked up," Craig said firmly, wishing he could inject more emotion into his words. "No one likes change, fuck, Tweek, I hate change so much I named my guinea pig the same name as my last one and I promise you I'll name the next one after that Stripe as well." Unsure where the words were coming from, but unable to make them stop, Craig continued, "You're the only good change in my life, but I don't think I could handle things changing back to how they used to be."

Slowly, twitchily, Tweek's arms reached up and curled up around Craig's back, hugging the Noirette back. "I w-won't change if you don't," he whispered, his voice faint, almost like he wasn't sure about the words but had to say them anyway. "I just want you to be my friend man, m-maybe that makes me selfish, b-but I've never been a good person like Clyde, or –rrr- a nice person like Bebe, s-so I guess if I'm selfish then I don't care."

"Keep being selfish," Craig told Tweek, pulling back so he could look the blond over. "Because then I won't feel so shitty about being selfish as well."

Smiling, Tweek's green eyes glowed with that sad, yet hopeful light that Craig had come to know him by. "Fucked up together," he reminded the taller boy.

"Forever," Craig agreed, nodding once.

Face stretching into a grin, Tweek giggled once before letting out a sound of frustration and pulling at the sweater that he was wearing. "Jesus, d-don't tell him I said it, b-but I don't like Clyde's clothing! I feel like there are ants crawling all over me!" Chuckling, Craig scooted backward over the floor and grabbed for a red racer tee-shirt that he'd worn once and then tossed into a corner.

"Don't worry dude, I'm not going to tell him," Craig assured the boy, helping him as he attempted to disentangle himself from Clyde's sweater, which was an atrocity just in its own right. Pulling the thing off of Tweek's head, Craig handed the boy the shirt before getting up and walking over to the lights.

As he flipped the switch, Tweek gave a squeak and said, "I like your clothes better." Though it probably shouldn't have, the words made something in Craig purr with contentment, finally settling all of those monsters that had risen up when he'd seen Clyde and Tweek together earlier.

Walking over to Tweek, Craig pulled the boy to his feet and said, "Yeah, Clyde's tastes suck." Softly tugging Tweek towards his bed, which was finally starting to look appealing, Craig felt himself settle down as Tweek dove under the covers with a twitch before letting him slide in as well. Under his stars, with Tweek at his side, Craig finally felt at rest.

Curling up against him, his head nestling into the spot under Craig's chin, Tweek let out a breath before shivering and asking, "Y-you promise you won't leave me or something?"

Wrapping his arm around Tweek, pulling him close, Craig closed his eyes and quietly responded, "I promise Tweek. I promise."

And he fucking meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww. I mean, depressing foreshadowing but awwww. 
> 
> Can I just wrap them both up in a blanket together and keep them forever?? Please?? I need to keep them safe from myself.


	70. Tactically Advantaged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I MISSED YESTERDAY!!! *bows in apology* I should have been better about it, but I failed you. I'm sorry.
> 
> And yet you guys have showered me with so much love and fanart and beauty that I can hardly breathe. Due to the large influx of art, I might have to move some of them to the next chapter's author's note (o;_ _)o You people are just too amazing, I can't keep up!~
> 
> As I always believe in starting things off right, the first piece of art is by Mianewarcher~ It honestly went a long way towards healing my broken heart, m'kay? Like, I've been so crappy to these characters and then I get something like this?? I hardly deserve such wonder. It's an adorable sketch of Tweek falling asleep on top of Craig from the last chapter and it gives me hope for the future. These bois are so pure, it's going to be a miracle if they can survive me. -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169905619580/semantically-challenged-chapter-69-teamalphaq<\-- so yeah, look at it, and feel a little better for it.
> 
> The second piece of fanart was done by Casuallyengrossed and though it _technically_ isn't art, I'm going to say it is anyway. It's a pretty piece of calligraphy that says "I'd notice if you vanished". Let's be honest here, I think we all need that memory of simpler times when things were better. And... I dunno, I think that it's still holding true now, Craig's words. They do notice when the other one isn't around, and that's a good thing, I think. -- >https://casuallyengrossed.tumblr.com/post/169893966938/the-most-recent-chapter-of-semantically<\-- if you're interested, check it out~
> 
> The third piece of art is honestly gorgeous, m'kay? And I can't get enough of it. It was done by x-pea-x and it's of Craig the clockwork angel. I don't like to play favorites, but goddamn, this one is exactly what I imagined when I thought of Craig as a compilation of falling gears. It's so detailed and I'm honored that they would draw this for me. There's something so tragically beautiful about the whole thing with Craig being a broken angel that just speaks to me. I love it and I love them for drawing it. -->https://x-pea-x.tumblr.com/post/169922384552/this-is-the-last-time-i-need-to-repost-this-i<\-- You need to see this, it will be worth your time.
> 
> The fourth piece of art was done by Aprithotss and it's of Tweek's perspective for chapter 69. It's a couple adorable sketches of Tweek freaking out about calling Craig and then getting scared out of his skin when the boy calls him back. It's so adorable and I am fully ready to believe that Clyde's ringtone for Craig is Blow by Ke$ha. I believe in this headcanon. B e l i e v e. -->https://aprithotss.tumblr.com/post/169890198134/so-chapter-69-of-semantically-challenged-came-out<\-- Look at it, give it love. It's adorable.
> 
> The fifth, and final one I'll be mentioning in this author's note, was done by thelifeidonthave. To be perfectly honest, I've been sitting on these sketches for a lot longer than is okay (シ_ _)シ I'm a horrible person, this is true. But I finally got around to getting them up and believe me, these are adorable. They're from some of everyone's favorite chapters, 21 and 27, still to date some of the gayest moments ever. Honestly, they're really good and Tweek is just so adorable in the first one. It reminds me of a happier time when these boys weren't constantly beset by angst... -->https://teamalphaq.tumblr.com/post/169920024082/ahhhh-this-is-an-relatively-old-piece-of-art<\-- see them, adore them, and feel better.
> 
> Now, after terrifying you last chapter by telling you of all the angst to come, I'm sure you're properly prepared for this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy

"Ngh- And d-don't come back!" Letting out a growl, a sound that was accompanied by a twitch that made his Manbearpig pelt ruffle menacingly, Tweek raised his club in victory as the remaining Elves ran off, all of them injured in some way. As the cheers of the Humans still conscious filled him, the boy turned around and ignored the pain of his own injuries so he could shake his club and yell, "WE ARE HUMANITY!"

"YEAH!" the other boys answered at once, their weapons held aloft. Even those that had been injured cheered, however weakly. Looking at all of them, Tweek felt a surge of pride. Just a few weeks ago, there would have been no way for the Humans to beat the Elves in combat, not without sustaining heavy losses of their own. Now, Tweek hadn't been in a battle that they'd lost for two straight weeks. If that wasn't winning, he didn't know what was.

Eyes traveling over to his partner in crime, Tweek had to give himself a little shake when his brain protested the sight of Butters instead of Craig next to him. The happy boy was grinning from ear to ear, and Tweek felt a flash of guilt before pushing a smile onto his own face. No, it was fine. He was fine. Things changed, this was life. Besides, it had just been another ordinary scuffle.

"We kicked their butts!" Butters bubbled out, placing a happy hand on Tweek's shoulder, a gesture the blond shivered away from. Undeterred as always, the Paladin hooked his Hammer of Justice back on his belt as he continued, "Y'know, I think we oughtta be able to take th' Stick back soon or somethin', don'tcha think fellas?" Looking at their other soldiers, the boy asked, "I mean, how much more of this is it gonna take?"

"Well, far be it from me to read Token's mind, but I'm pretty sure we're getting close to the deadline, right?" Ryan asked, scratching the back of his head, which was still bleeding. "I mean, the girls did ask us to get the stick by March, right?"

Twitching, Tweek pulled his pelt around his shoulders more firmly as if that would ward off the mention of the girls before he squeaked, "Jesus! That's so much pressure! W-what if we screw it up?" He knew they wouldn't, Token was the one in charge of the strategies and the planning and stuff, but Tweek was still worried. It felt like they'd already given so much to the girls, he didn't want to lose it all now.

"We still do have Bebe as a bargaining chip of sorts if we need to resort to that," William pointed out, whipping his Mage staff against the melting snow, clearing it of the flecks of blood clinging to it. It was strange, but hearing the original purpose of Craig and Bebe dating made Tweek blink in confusion for a moment, before remembering how complicated the game had become. Somehow, the heat of a battle, no matter how small, tended to make all the semantics seem kind of unimportant.

Which, come to think of it, was probably why they sent Tweek on more battles than they did Craig. Tweek was a pawn, Craig was a bargaining chip. It made the blond twitch violently and let out a soft, "Oh  _god~!"_  as his brain supplied him with plenty of horrifying implications of that statement to satisfy his overactive mind.  _Jesus, what if they sacrifice him or something to the girls? What if they sacrifice both him and Bebe?! CLYDE WOULD BE SO UPSET THEY AREN'T ALLOWED TO SACRIFICE ANYONE!_

"JESUS I HATE HUMAN SACRIFICE!" Tweek shrieked, twitching and shivering. Holstering his club so he could fumble for his expresso, Tweek gulped down some of it before shaking his head quickly and telling his soldiers, "T-Token said we need to be back at Kupa Keep soon, s-so we should probably leave, right?"

Smiling brightly, entirely ignoring Tweek's comment about human sacrifice as was so typical of most of South Park when it came to Tweek's weird tics, Butters gave a happy bounce on the balls of his feet before excitedly saying, "Yes! Princess Kenny said we should all b-be back as soon as possible, an' you know th'Grand Wizard, he'll be all sour if we're late or somethin' for no good reason."

As several of the Humans made sounds of agreement, Tweek shrugged his shoulders jerkily and puffed out a breath before saying, "Ghn- L-let's not be late then!" Keeping a hand on his short sword, Tweek trudged through the snow next to Butters as they walked out of the park and pressed on towards Kupa Keep. Like always, the other boys followed along behind them, all of them chatting about things that had nothing to do with the game at all.

Tweek didn't blame them. Though he still enjoyed the game, something about it was starting to dull. Despite the vigor the new victories had instilled in Humanity, Tweek found it was all starting to bleed together. One fight mixed with the next, losses and wins started to look the same, and every injury left him with a new fading bruise that reminded him that this came at a cost.  _Oh god, I'm starting to sound old! What if in the game I age differently? What if I get old and die!? JESUS THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_

Tugging on his hair, stifling his sounds of fear, Tweek had to spend the next few minutes dissuading himself from this very real concern.  _If I get old, what if no one wants to talk to me anymore? What if my parents throw me out of the house!? And what about Craig?! WHAT IF HE CAN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME! DOES TIME EVEN EXIST IN THIS GAME!?_  No, Craig would always recognize Tweek, even when they got to be old and wrinkled and Tweek went completely crazy and couldn't remember the Noirette, the taller boy would remember him.

Feeling a little better, Tweek reached for his coffee again and took several more sips, knowing he was getting close to empty but also knowing that they were going home soon, so it was okay.  _I wonder if Craig's going to come over today? Maybe he's not going to, he might have other things to do, I can't expect to hang out every day. But I still really want to hang out with him, I haven't been able to see him really because I had to go fight right after school._

Lost in his thoughts as he was, Tweek almost bumped into Kenny, who was standing outside of Kupa Keep, his fan splayed over his face and his daintily gloved hand planted on his hip. "Where have you been!?" Kenny demanded in his Princessy voice, swatting at Tweek with his fan, which the blond dodged with a shriek because he  _hated_  it when Kenny hit him with his fan. "We've been waiting forever Tweeky, could you have taken any longer?"

"Jesus I'm s-sorry!" Tweek yelped, twitching horribly and standing out of reach of Kenny so he could tug on his hair in peace. "It's just –rrr- the Elves were a little bit more annoying th-than usual! We came as soon as we c-could! Don't look at m-melikethatohgod~!"

Quickly stepping forward, Butters gave a bow before taking Kenny's hand and insisting, "M'lady, Tweek's right, those mean ol' Drow Elves were bein' a bit more mean than usual! B-but we still handled them an' I only had to revive Kevin!"

Eyes lighting up at once, as only Butters could make them do, Kenny instantly waved off the matter like he hadn't cared about it in the first place. "Oh Paladin Butters, of course you were being noble and valiant. You always are." Turning to the rest of them, Kenny looked them up and down before saying, in his wonderful and terrifying falsetto, "There should be healing potions for all of you, I want every one of you fully healed and at their best when Token gives his speech. You've all fought bravely today, but I expected nothing less of the warriors of Kupa Keep."

Amid a chorus of agreements, Tweek straightened his shoulders and walked towards the gate with the other boys, the buzzing in his head returning to a dulled sound in the back of his head. Glancing up at what of the castle was visible before they'd turned the corner, Tweek gave a nod to Clyde, who was sitting at the top of one of the turrets. Knocking his helmet slightly askew in his typical, the brunet waved happily, calling as he did so, "Teacup! Did you kick their asses?!"

Shivering, Tweek yelled back, "Th-they didn't stand a chance!" Clyde's enthusiastic whoop made Tweek smile, despite all of the things still running around in his head. He'd gotten to go with Clyde on the last few battles, but this one had been small enough that Cartman had elected not to send yet another high-level fighter when it would just make things crowded. Even so, the brunet was grinning like an idiot, which made Tweek feel slightly better about the whole thing. He still hadn't forgotten Clyde's talk about just quitting the game entirely, and he didn't want to see it come to fruition.

As he walked into the courtyard, which was unusually crowded seeing as Token had called  _all_  the humans, Tweek's eyes automatically sought out a familiar brown cloak and blue chullo, the action second nature. The rest of the soldiers mingled with the Humans already there, finding friends and generally dispersing. Behind Tweek, he heard Kenny and Butters come in, Kenny babbling happily to the blond paladin, who was only too happy to listen to him. An involuntary sound escaping his mouth, Tweek twitched and jerked his head around, still looking.

It didn't take him long. Craig was standing near Token, talking softly with the black boy, his chin tilted up and his usual deadpan high on his face. Holding onto his arm, Bebe was chatting away as well, her eyes bright and lively, even from the other side of the yard. For a moment, Tweek felt a flash of hollow pain shoot through him and the alien, or rather, his own emotions, clawed at his stomach, but a second later he shook it off and kept walking. Even though the pain didn't go away, he shoved the knowledge of it to the back of his mind and forced himself to ignore it.

He was pretty used to it after all. It had taken a month, but eventually, the newness of the situation and the absolute terror Craig and Bebe dating had caused him had all faded. Naturally, it was still there, his stupid mind wasn't smart enough to understand that he had no reason to be upset anymore, but Tweek was getting better. At this point, it was one of those things he just accepted. Sometimes he got to spend time around Craig while they were playing the game, most of the time Bebe was there. Craig generally had to deal with whatever thing Kenny had contrived that day for him and Bebe to do, but occasionally, Tweek would get to fight with the boy and he'd learned to see that as enough.

Besides, even if Craig didn't talk to him as much while they were playing in the game, even if he didn't hover beside him like a comforting shadow, Tweek knew that once they all went home for the day, chances were good Craig would go with him. He didn't always, but Tweek could logically point to the things that Craig did for him and attempt to feel better. If he ignored the clawing in the pit of his stomach, eventually it faded.

As he walked towards where Scott Malkinson was giving the other boy's healing potions, Tweek unexpectedly felt a prickling on the back of his neck, a familiar series of chills. Nibbling on his lip, the blond found himself smiling slightly as he looked at his feet, his twitching subsiding slightly. It had been a long time since he'd felt those watchful eyes trained on him in such a way, but it made him feel oddly warm. How Craig's stare could do that was beyond Tweek, he just knew that his breathing evened out and his shoulders relaxed because of it. Despite them not being able to talk, despite Craig being caught up with his girlfriend, he still took the time to look Tweek's way.

Was it regressing back to a time when they didn't talk at all, probably? Tweek wasn't going to lie to himself and say that he liked it, but at the same time, things changed and he was trying hard to get better at accepting that fact. If Craig could handle dating a girl simply because everyone told him he had to, if Clyde could still smile even though he had to watch his best friend date the girl he liked, then Tweek could handle not having Craig around twenty-four/seven.

As Craig's eyes moved off of him and Tweek finally grabbed a healing potion, the blond twitched and darted between several Humans so he could head for the castle turret he'd seen Clyde in earlier. Though he didn't particularly like these parts of the castle, seeing as they sort of felt like they were going to collapse beneath his feet, Tweek still scaled the ladder that led up to the left one, keeping his eyes off the ground as he did. When Cartman's yard was particularly busy like it was now, Tweek preferred to be off the ground anyway.

"Teacup!" Clyde greeted the moment he noticed the blond coming up behind him. Helping Tweek up so he could sit down on the floor of the tower, Clyde bounced a little and said, "You excited for Token's speech? I've been waiting for this, I know he's got something big planned." Shivering, the blond nodded mutely, fumbling the top off of the potion and drinking half of it in one go. Looking up over the edge of the tower wall, Tweek watched as several Humans including Butters organized chairs in the courtyard, obviously trying to get everyone to calm down and situate themselves.

"Isn't the –ngh- d-deadline soon?" Tweek asked, his fingers tightening around the edge of the castle as he watched Bebe laugh at something that Token or Craig had said before tugging on one of the flaps of the Noirette's hat playfully. "I mean, Jesus, I don't want the girls t-to attack us!" Forcing himself to focus on something else, Tweek watched as Kenny twirled around Butters before blowing the boy a kiss.  _He's so weird. Does he know he's weird? Maybe I'm weird and that's normal?!_ As panic started to build in his brain, Tweek smacked his forehead against the side of the castle in irritation.

"Don't worry Tweek," Clyde assured the boy, leaning back against the wall of the castle himself so he could smile at the blond. "Token always knows what he's doing. I'll bet he's got it all timed down to the second." Tweek didn't like the sound of that, he didn't think he'd be able to follow a plan that exact. Tugging on his hair with a hand, Tweek let out a moan of worry, to which Clyde chuckled and reached forward so he could playfully ruffle the blonde's hair, an action Tweek dodged to the best of his ability with a squawk. "We'll meet the deadline, I know we will!"

Shuffling towards the ladder so he could get down, Tweek mumbled, "I kn-now but it still –rrr- stressful!" Quickly lowering himself back to the ground, happy that his feet were back on solid earth, Tweek waited for Clyde to jump down from the tower and land next to him with a thud that didn't seem to affect him in the slightest.  _He's probably got springs in his feet or something, otherwise, he wouldn't be able to do things like that._

Bouncing back up, Clyde grinned and said, "You're a badass barbarian Teacup if anyone should be scared, it's those Valkyries. If they try and mess with you, you'd take them out easily." Shivering, remembering the last time he'd fought the Valkyries, Tweek mumbled out some non-committal answer and followed Clyde as they walked towards the chairs that were being filled in by Humans. From where she and Craig were standing, Bebe waved a hand and caught Clyde's eyes, beckoning them over once she had. Looking up at Craig, Tweek twitched under the Noirette's calm gaze, but still hurried towards the pair with Clyde.

As Bebe and Clyde almost instantly got caught up in a conversation, Tweek shivered and sat down in the seat beside where Craig had already taken root. Around them, people were quieting down as Butters helped Token roll out his strategy map without it falling off the drawbridge. Glancing up at Craig, Tweek found the boy already looking down at him, an eyebrow raised.  _What does he want? Did I do something? Ugh, I used to be better at reading him. Maybe he's just got more complicated…_

Reaching his left hand over, Craig lightly poked at the mark on Tweek's forehead from where he'd slammed it against the side of the castle. At the feeling, a sound escaped Tweek that he quickly bit his lip to stifle, though he wasn't sure why he bothered. Expression flattening out again, Craig watched him for a moment longer before letting his hand fall to his lap. For a moment, Tweek expected him to say something, but the taller boy just looked at the sky before putting an arm around the blonde's shoulder and tugging him a little closer.

Settled by this, the buzz in Tweek's brain shut off and as the Grand Wizard cleared his throat, signaling quiet, the boy was able to pay attention to Token, who was already standing before the strategy board, his hands resting on his belt of knives. Lifting his chin, Cartman looked over everyone before saying, "Warriors of Zaron, I'm glad that you could all make it tonight. This is, clearly, a very important matter."

Nodding at Cartman, Token gave everyone a calculating look before saying, "As I'm sure Bebe and Feldspar could remind us, for the last month we've been taking steps to finally solidify our half of the bargain with the Valkyries. Through the actions of Feldspar, Tweek and several other Human warriors, we managed to obtain valuable information from the Elves, which I have been using to start to push the Humans ahead in this game."

There was a murmur of positivity at this, everyone liked the fact that they'd been winning, including Cartman clearly who was smirking smugly as he puffed out his chest. Twitching slightly, Tweek tugged at the edge of Craig's cloak, pulling it around his shoulders as the sky grew darker, the sun having already set officially an hour ago. He didn't blame everyone for being happy about their progress, but he had a feeling that for him, the memories would always be tainted with bitterness. Catching sight of Bebe's blond curls out of the corner of his eyes, Tweek huddled up closer to Craig and pushed the bad feelings back down into the depths where he tried to keep them.

Beginning to pace, his eyes fixed intently on a point in the middle distance, Toke continued, "Because I've been able to so accurately point to trends in how the High Jew Elf thinks and strategizes, I've been able to start pushing him into a corner. Though we've only been fighting smaller skirmishes, we've been winning them and we've been driving the Elves out of traditionally human territory without taking any land that was originally theirs. There's a reason for that." Nodding to Kenny, who was standing next to Cartman, Token asked, "Princess Kenny, would you like to explain the plan?"

Touching a hand to his cheek, as though embarrassed by Token's attention, Kenny brightly said, "Of course, Token." Stepping forward, the Princess eyed the Humans mischievously before saying, "The Grand Wizard, Token and I have called you all here today because all of this maneuvering has finally come to a head. We are at the point where I expect we'll have the stick in a few days' time, maximum." Waiting for the sounds of excitement from the other boys to quiet down, Kenny continued, "All we have to do to get there is win one more crucial battle. One that will be become legendary if we can win it."

Nodding, Token picked up from where Kenny had left off easily. "We all know that the Elves have always had an advantage when it comes to certain types of battle." Ticking off the things on his fingers, Token said, "They're typically quicker, more versatile, and have an undisputed advantage when it comes to forest warfare or any other fight where they can get the height advantage. Those are several things that Humans have so far failed to best, with the exception of some outliers." The boy nodded in Craig and Tweek's direction, making the blond let out a muffled screech and Craig just blink.

"But there's one thing that the Elves are inferior to us at," Kenny cut in, his sky blue eyes lighting up behind his blond wig and orange parka. "According to the official rules of the game, the thing that Humans excel at are water battles."  _Wait, what?!_  Tweek slapped a hand over his mouth to hold back his scream. Water battles? Like with boats? The other boys around them were also making doubtful sounds, clearly not sold on the idea. Tweek had never even been in a boat before, much less fought in one. How was he supposed to be better that than fighting on land?! What was Kenny talking about?

Almost at once, Tweek felt Craig pull him closer and rest his chin on the blonde's head. As if that pressure was pushing all of that panic down through Tweek's body and out through his toes or something, the blond felt his shaking subside to the usual shiver as Craig softly murmured, "It'll be okay, you won't sink." Unable to look up at him due to Craig's decision to use him as a chinrest, Tweek simply clenched a hand in the side of the boy's tunic and allowed the Noirette to pull him over till they might as well have been sitting in the same chair.

"Jesus man, y-you don't know that," Tweek hissed, twitching. Though he wanted to say any number of other things, Token started talking again, compelling him to pay attention once more.

Stepping out of the way of his map, which had been covered by a much simpler drawing done in thick black marker, Token tapped the middle of the page. "Stark's pond. A piece of territory that has traditionally been the Elves' land since the beginning of the game because it's surrounded by forest. But what we forget, is that most of it-" He gestured loosely at the obvious diagram. "Is water. Now usually during the winter, it would be entirely frozen over, but it just so happens that we've had a run of warmer days, the temperature going above freezing for most of the day. By tomorrow, Stark's pond will be almost entirely unfrozen."

Smiling, clearly at least a little proud of his genius, Token continued, "Though the Elves do have several vessels, seeing as they've had the pond for a good length of time, they have no skill in operating them. Right now, the Humans have better sea craft, thanks to some concerted efforts to muster a decent Navy, and we also have the tactical advantage due to our careful pushing and prodding at their defenses." Taking a breath, Token turned to Cartman and gave a slight bow. "Grand Wizard?"

Bustling forward, his robes rippling around him, Cartman smacked his staff on the ground and announced, "Tomorrow, at lunch, I will be issuing a formal challenge against the Highest of the Dirty Jews, Kyle himself, to a formal battle over the territory of Stark's Pond. Naturally, because Humans are way cooler than Elves, we'll kick their asses and they won't have enough forces to stop us when we attack their Castle the next day and finally take back the Stick of Truth, restoring the power of the universe into the hands of the rightful faction!"

Lifting his staff above his head, the Grand Wizard announced, "The people of Kupa Keep will be powerful once more!" For a moment, no one cheered, everyone just stayed silent, unsure whether they should be worried about it or not. Tweek himself felt fear rise up in his gut at their silence. If he wasn't the only one to think this was crazy, then what were they going to do. He didn't doubt that Token's plan would work, but he wasn't sure if the Humans were able to actually fight well on the water in practice. Before his worry could turn to panic, however, Craig suddenly buried his face in Tweek's hair, entirely distracting the boy from what he'd been thinking about as chills ran down his spine.

Pulling his face out of Tweek's hair, Craig let out an audible sigh that broke the silence before flatly saying, "Fuck it, why not? If we learned to fight in the trees, we can learn to dominate the water." Tightening his hold around Tweek's shoulders, Craig continued, "I'm tired of politics. Let's be fucking badasses instead." At Craig's words, Tweek felt a sudden knot of determination form in his stomach. Craig was right. He was sick of politics that resulted in things like Craig and Bebe dating, he wanted to go back to what this game was originally meant for and fight a real battle.

Almost at once, from somewhere in the back, Russell let out a whoop and said, "Yeah, let's kick their asses!" Before he'd even finished speaking, the rest of the Humans let out a chorus of loud cheering mixed with battle cries and insults directed at the Elves. As the din started to get louder, Tweek felt the confidence spread throughout his body. Despite the sour look Cartman was giving Craig, Tweek just joined in the cheering, displacing himself from the Noirette's side so he could add his own voice to the others.

_Craig's right, we can do this!_  Tweek realized, his spirits soaring.  _Besides, if I'm fighting with him, we can do anything!_

As the boys started to settle down, Kenny clapped his hands once before announcing, "We meet here tomorrow! Until then, may you keep your swords sharp and your minds sharper."

Leaping to his feet almost at once, Tweek twitched as Craig got to his feet as well and Token walked over to them. As the courtyard around them started to be cleared and most of the Humans started filing out of the gate and leaving, Tweek stood at Craig's shoulder and decidedly didn't let the sight of Bebe catching the Noirette's arm make him feel sick. Giving Craig a skeptical look, Token flatly said, "You're lucky you're important, otherwise your stupidity would catch up with you."

Blandly looking at his friend like he couldn't give less of a shit, Craig said, "Yep," popping the 'p'. Staring at Craig for a moment longer, Token finally shook his head and moved up next to Clyde, who was already starting to leave, talking with Bebe as he did. As he was pulled away by the girl attached to his arm, Craig raised an eyebrow at Tweek, whose eyes widened as he hurried to follow along as well.

The moment they'd left Kupa Keep, Tweek couldn't deny he felt relieved to see Bebe let go of Craig and move up so she could properly talk to Clyde and Token, who were both discussing the validity of certain points that had to do with the battle tomorrow. Easily falling in beside Craig, Tweek kept silent as he listened to the sounds of the night filling in the gaps between what people were saying. Craig didn't bother to talk, he just walked calmly beside Tweek as he watched the horizon. This was something Tweek could get used to, right after the game when everything almost went back to normal and there were no more fronts to put up. He liked this, even with the addition of Bebe.

As they reached the corner where Tweek would turn to go home, they all paused for a moment. Like he usually did, Craig followed him instead of going with his girlfriend and his other friends, allowing Clyde to give him a joyful hug and Token to shoot him one last meaningful look before the parted ways. While Tweek stood through his own obligatory hug from Clyde, the blond almost missed the series of looks that Bebe and Craig exchanged, each of them clearly possessing a meaning that he wasn't privy to. Biting his lip, Tweek went through his usual process of shoving down the queasy roll of his stomach because at least tonight Craig had chosen to go with him.

"See you tomorrow~" Bebe called, waving to them as they turned down the street and Tweek caught Craig's hand so they could cross the road. "Bye Tweek!"

"Ngh- Bye!" Tweek yelped back, giving the girl a twitchy wave before allowing Craig to lead him across the street. Falling in beside the boy comfortably, Tweek was silent for a moment before the question that had been on his mind for most of the walk from Kupa Keep popped out of his mouth. "Do you think Cartman –ghn- is gonna do anything t-to you for making him look stupid?" He couldn't help but worry about it, he knew that Cartman still hated Craig for breaking his nose, even if he didn't act like it. People didn't just forget and Cartman had a memory that was longer than most.

"Nah dude, he's not that stupid," Craig said blithely, squeezing Tweek's hand slightly as he spoke. Shivering, Tweek screwed his face up into a frown as he tried to convince himself that Craig was right. He still didn't like it, but if Craig said it would be alright then it probably would be. Letting out a puff of air, Tweek's face smoothed out as Craig ruffled his hair with the Noirette's usual calm demeanor. It made him feel better, even though the matter was trivial.

"D-do you really think we're gonna win?" Tweek asked, his eyes wandering through the dark, on the watch for anything that might jump out at them, though he doubted anything would. Craig was there, things didn't tend to follow him when the taller boy was around. "I mean –ghn- I h-haven't even been on a boat before!"

Easily, like he didn't even have to think about it, Craig said, "We'll be fighting together, right? So yeah, I think we'll beat them." He said it so matter-o'-factly, like there was no way he could be wrong, that Tweek naturally believed. Because if there was one thing that Craig and he still had, it was their ability to fight perfectly as a team. Though it didn't seem like they got to fight together as much as Tweek would have wanted, he knew that together, very little could touch them.

"Y-yeah," Tweek agreed, at last, twitching and tightening his own hold on the Noirette's hand to compensate for the swelling feeling in his chest. "We will."

Sucking in his cheeks, Craig smiled ever so slightly before saying, "Now, are you gonna tell me about how that fight went earlier?"

Giggling, Tweek said, "It was awesome, man." And as he told Craig about what had happened, he felt the pain that he always pushed down during the day loosen. Because at the end of the day, Craig was still there, and that was what mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS??
> 
> We only have four chapters left until the official events of the game start. HALLELUJIA YAS QUEEEEEEN!!!
> 
> Sorry, I'm very very excited about this stuff.
> 
> All art that I didn't mention in this chapter will be in the author's note of the next. It's all so good I didn't want it to get lost in the shuffle because there's so much of it. Better to give it the spotlight that each piece deserves.


	71. Wronged and Wretched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as I said in the last chapter, I have a lot more fan art that I never got to show, so skipping any witty remarks I could make, (because let's be honest, I don't have anything witty to say), let us feast our eyes on the beautiful art that abounds!
> 
> The first is, of course, Mianewarcher's art (may the plot bunnies forever bless her soul). There are actually two pieces to this one technically but HECK MY DUDES IT'S ALL SO GLORIOUS! The first is a gorgeous color drawing of Tweek cuddling up beneath Craig's cloak. Honestly, there is not love enough in my heart for this piece. Everything from the way Craig's skin glows like an angel to their fricken NOSE SHAPES IS AWESOME AND WORTHY OF LOVE. *Violently throws MrWspf's pom-poms at you* God, I love her art. The second is of Tweek and Butters and oh, the pure innocence of this picture is tangible, my heart cannot handle it. -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/169939816750/upacreekwithcraigandtweek-semantically<\-- Look at them, you're going to need the fluff after this chapter.
> 
> The second piece of art was done by the esteemed Splatter-pop in his, as always, fabulous watercolors. It's an amazing painting of Tweek and Clyde letting out their frustrations together on top of Clyde's castle of darkness and UGH UGH UGH, I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN WITH HOW AMAZING IT IS!! Like okay, that was already an adorable scene but this makes it so so much better. As ever, he's done an excellent job with it and you really should look at it because goodness knows I've stared it at it for way longer than is probably normal XD -->http://splatter-pop.tumblr.com/post/169902570109/i-honestly-think-this-was-my-favourite-chapter-so<\-- give it love, because he deserves it~
> 
> The third piece of art was done by the wonderful Trollskine~ It's a frankly beautiful and aesthetically pleasing drawing of Clyde and Tweek shouting about their problems and it's just so... cute? Not gonna lie, it's my lock screen for my phone (did I mention I use fanart as my backgrounds? Because I use fanart for my backgrounds XD) Seriously though, with the sun setting behind them and Clyde's castle spreading out beneath them, it's so... amazing. And to think that it was just a warm-up they said got out of hand XD Ah, if only my writing warm-ups turned out like that, I'd be able to write twice as much I can now. -->https://trollskine.tumblr.com/post/169864192473/this-is-what-i-like-to-call-a-warm-up-that-got<\-- Seriously though, take a moment and just stare at this beautiful artwork, m'kay?
> 
> The fourth piece of art was done by scarredsunshine, in all of their beauty and ability to drAW ANGST WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?? It's a wonderful drawing of Craig crying and honestly, it's making me sad just looking at it. I mean, I know why I make him cry and I know why it needs to happen but FUCK MAN I DON'T LIKE THIS SHIT, BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH. It's so good and yet it's so sad and yet I can't stop looking at it JESUMS CRAIG WHY NO MY BABY!! -->http://scarredsunshine.tumblr.com/post/169912715030/i-may-not-draw-well-but-this-is-for-teamalphaq-i<\-- Of course, I love it anyway. Whether he's in pain or not, Craig is a beautiful sunchild.
> 
> The fifth and final piece I'll be putting in this author's note was another little doodle done by x-pea-x! It's the sweetest little bubble drawings of Tweek blushing and why you gotta do this to me man?? My emotions weren't meant to fluctuate like this! UGH, seriously though, I'm in love with their way of drawing faces (reminds me of the Amazing World of Gumball now that I think about it...) and it makes Tweek even more adorable than he usually is. -->https://x-pea-x.tumblr.com/post/169890515942/a-couple-more-doodles-for-teamalphaq-and-their<\-- Look at it, again, you'll need fluff after this chapter of DISAPPOINTMENT AND SADNESS
> 
> Prepare yourselves.
> 
> Enjoy.

"Jesus, how do you even…"

"Come on Craig, it's a  _braid,_  don't tell me you've never done one of these."

"Um… No?"

To be honest, Craig would have rather been spending these moments before they left for Stark's pond doing anything else. The first thing that came to mind was hanging out with Tweek, mostly so he could calm the boy down while he was no doubt psyching himself out for a fight that wasn't going to be that bad. But instead, he was here, braiding (or at least attempting to braid) Bebe's hair because Kenny had  _insisted_  that's what a good boyfriend did.

Craig had been dating Bebe for a month and he still didn't know shit about being a good boyfriend. So now Clyde was probably helping Tweek with his war paint and Craig was stuck in here with Bebe. To be fair to the girl, she wasn't that bad. It had taken a month, but eventually, he'd gradually accepted that she was pretty chill, but at the same time, that didn't mean he wanted to be there…

"Look, it's not that hard," Bebe insisted, reaching around behind her head and messily showing Craig how to braid her hair. "It's just folding the hair over itself in an alternating pattern. I just need my hair out of my face if I'm going to fight." It had been Wendy's idea, apparently, that she fight with them this time. Something about a show of solidarity with her 'husband'. Naturally, Kenny had made a show of it, but in the end, Craig supposed that as long as she was good at what she did, he wasn't going to complain. Besides, it wasn't like she'd be dead weight, or worse, his problem. She'd be able to handle herself, and Craig would be able to fight with Tweek.

Taking her hair out of her hands, Craig puffed out a breath before quickly braiding the girl's hair, messily, but effectively. He really wasn't much for fashion, but he supposed it looked alright. Clyde could have probably given a better answer. Thankfully, Bebe didn't ask how it looked, she just pulled it around and clucked her tongue before tossing it back over her shoulder. As she looked over her quiver full arrows, no don't checking them to make sure they weren't broken, the girl asked, "So, how was Tweek last night? He seemed a little nervous about the plan."

"He's fine," Craig told the girl, putting his hand on his knives before glancing at himself in the mirror that Bebe was looking in. Tugging down his chullo, the boy muttered, "He was up most of the night telling me about how we were more likely to have a zombie apocalypse than a robot invasion." Smiling slightly at the ground as he remembered Tweek's wide, insistent eyes as he babbled on about how important it was to think about those kinds of things, Craig almost didn't catch the raised eyebrows and the smile Bebe was giving him. "What?" he asked flatly, his smile melting back into a deadpan at once.

Giggling, Bebe said, "It's nothing, I promise." Shaking his head, unwilling to argue with her, Craig glanced out of the tent at the bustle around them. There were humans everywhere practicing, getting ready, and just generally making themselves useful. Apparently, most of the kids were already down at Stark's pond, quickly learning the basics of the boats that Token had gotten for them. Craig's eyes instantly gravitated towards Tweek, who was yelping out something about  _too much pressure_  as Terry demonstrated the weird type of fire weapon he'd made for the battle that would set water on fire.

Focusing on the blond, Craig felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach as he watched Tweek no doubt drain his thermos as he attempted to tame his own shaking. His hair was flying everywhere, just like always, and his Manbearpig pelt had managed to acquire a tie so it was firmly secured around his shoulders for the fight to come. With the fresh war paint that he assumed had been done by Clyde, and the weapons arrayed around the boy's body, he looked dangerous. Craig liked that, but he wished that Tweek wasn't freaking out, mostly because the blond didn't need that kind of stress right before a battle.

He wanted to be over there, but he knew that if Kenny caught him, he'd have an irritated and irritating Princess on his hands. There was nothing he wanted to deal with less, and that was including Cartman. It was weird, half the time when he'd go against what Kenny said and hang out with Tweek regardless, the boy would smile like that had been the right thing to do, even as he chastised the Noirette for doing it. He didn't fucking understand Kenny one bit.

"Watching Tweek?" Bebe asked. Quickly turning around, Craig realized that the girl still hadn't stopped fussing with her clothing. How she'd known what he was doing was beyond the Noirette. Reluctantly moving away from the tent flap, Craig let out a puff of air before kicking a pebble that was by his toe.

"Yep," he answered, popping the 'p'. There was no point in lying, he was pretty sure Bebe knew him well enough to call him out on his bullshit. Besides, there was no reason to lie, Tweek was Tweek, why wouldn't Craig be watching him?

"Don't worry, he'll do fine," Bebe reassured Craig. Though he hadn't been worried about it per say, he couldn't deny that hearing Bebe say it made him feel a little better about it. Craig knew that Tweek could handle himself fine, but that didn't mean he didn't worry slightly. That was one of the consequences of caring about someone, he was discovering, the natural inclination to worry. He didn't mean to, he wasn't even sure he wanted to, but Tweek was a soft, admittedly cute boy and Craig didn't want to see him get hurt.

Shaking the weird thoughts from his head, Craig said, "Yeah, I know he will. He doesn't think he will, but he always does."

Turning around, Bebe smiled at Craig and said, "You're a good person Craig, I hope you keep that trait, even when we put this stupid game behind us." Furrowing his brows at that abrupt statement, Craig was only just forming the word 'why' when behind him, he heard a girlish giggle.

"Oh look at the happy couple," Kenny tittered, making Craig's expression sour at once. Turning so he could glare at the boy, all Craig succeeded in doing was making Kenny chuckle. "Well, I hate to interrupt you two, but we have a battle soon so~ Who's ready to kick some Elves back to the trees they came from?"

Raising an eyebrow, Craig said, "Anything is better than this bullshit." He wasn't sure what bullshit he was referring to, but most of it was pretty shit, so he decided that it was applicable no matter what way you looked at it.

"I agree," Bebe said. "Let's do this."

Kenny grinned wolfishly. "Then let's get this show on the road.

))))-((((

The Humans had exactly seven boats. Craig wasn't sure how Token had gotten his hands on so many, but this was Token they were talking about. He'd probably bought them. Though Craig wasn't too sure about boats in general, he had to admit these were pretty interesting. They weren't your traditional boat shape, after all, they were something more like flat-bottomed squares that had sides just big enough to keep the water out. They all had paddles affixed to their sides, though Craig had a feeling that those wouldn't be used much.

The plan, was, in its essence, to knock the Elves off of their boats, using the more floor-shaped boats of their own as good fighting platforms. Apparently, the people who'd come out earlier had been learning quickly how to jump from one boat to the other with as little hassle as possible. Craig had to admit, it was smart. Of course, the one downside was that they were wooden, so the certain fire they'd managed to acquire would only be so useful without destroying their own ships, but those were, according to Token, the breaks.

Craig, personally, had no love for the sea or even this particular still body of water. Thankfully, Token had taken that into consideration and had planned for Craig to at least start on the land. If, of course, there happened to be an opportunity to take to the see, he was to do so, but Token had decided that he would at least start on land. It did make things like sneak attacks easier, so he wasn't complaining.

No one had told him where Tweek would start, but Craig supposed that if he were going to be on land, it would only make sense to put Tweek there as well. Maybe he was wrong, but he didn't think the people in charge would be so cruel as to not let Tweek fight with him. They might put him on the other side of the pond, or even in the tree line, but that wouldn't matter. Once combat started, Craig would probably be able to find the boy.

Right now, he wasn't near the boy, instead, he was waiting silently in the position that Token had put him in. He saw no reason to move nor did he want to. Ergo, he was staying right where he was so as not to make anyone get irritated right before a fight. Kyle still hadn't arrived, though his army's boats were tied up on the other side of the bank. They had five, more traditionally shaped boats, all of them manned by one Elf a piece. Apart from some playful banter though, no one had yet attacked. They were waiting for the word of their leader.

Speaking of which, Cartman had done an unsurprisingly good job of antagonizing Kyle into a fight. Granted it hadn't taken much, but Craig had to admire the ability to turn a situation to whatever way he wanted it to go in Cartman. The only other person he knew who could do that was Kenny, and the boy never used it, so he wasn't even sure if it counted. Not that any of that mattered, the point of it was that they were going to fight soon and he was more than ready.

Wherever Tweek was, Craig hoped the boy was ready as well.

"Whatcha think, Fucker?" Kenny asked, nudging Craig in the side, causing the Noirette to look down at him with a glare. "Think anyone's going to drown tonight? I'd say someone will, probably me. Don't worry though, I'm good at drowning." He winked as if this were somehow funny. When Craig's glare only deepened, Kenny giggled, returning to his girlish attitude in a second before falling out of it once again. "You should have seen how our darling Tweekers reacted to that! It was priceless!"

Resisting the urge to tell Kenny that Tweek wasn't the Princess's  _anything,_  Craig forced his expression to go back to neutral before flatly saying, "Maybe you shouldn't be fucking around with him then and you should do something useful, Lady McCormick." Noticing Cartman and Token talking a few meters away, he suggested, "I dunno, maybe talking over the strategy would be a better use of your time."

"Oh  _you,"_  Kenny trilled, pushing Craig like he thought that the Noirette was just the funniest thing. Returning quickly to his usual mischievous smile, the Princess said, "I'd worry about yourself,  _Feldspar._  Not all things go to plan after all, even those that you trust in." Wiggling his fingers, grinning from ear to ear, the boy continued, "It's okay though, I'll make sure you don't suffer too much for your problems."

Before Craig could ask what the hell that was supposed to mean, Kenny turned around quickly before his eyes widened. "Oh! And there's the Drow Elves. It's like Christmas, but I actually get presents~" Giving one last giggle, Kenny waltzed off, leaving Craig to turn so he could see what Kenny was talking about.

Watching as the Elves headed over the horizon towards the Humans, Craig could feel his heart rate start to speed up slightly. It was a wave of green, all of the Elves walking towards them as one. At their head, striding tall with Stan at his side, was Kyle, his golf club held in one hand and his eyes narrowed to slits as he stared at Cartman. Craig didn't need to turn around to know Cartman was smirking. He could practically taste the smugness in the air.

Looking over the other Elves, Craig frowned slightly when he noticed Jimmy with them. Though he was mostly indifferent to the boy, he still considered him a friend, and he would have rather not had to fight him. But he'd taken a side, and the Noirette supposed he didn't have a choice.

As the Elves silently moved to take up position across the shore of Stark's Pond, all of them facing the humans, Craig lifted his chin and faced forward. It seemed to take far too long, and to be honest, he wasn't used to this traditional style of battle, but he supposed it worked. From somewhere nearby, he heard a soft whimper of, "Oh god~" and he wanted to look around for Tweek, but he satisfied himself with knowing that the blond was nearby.

Almost like some machine, the Elves loaded into their boats, five to each ship, and slowly started rowing out to the center of the lake. From the corner of his eye, Craig could see the human's doing the same. At the front, Cartman and Butters moved in front of the other Human craft, two boys rowing their boat out so they were facing Kyle's and Stan's boat. Rolling his eyes towards the Elves in front of him, Craig marked the positions of the archers and Rangers, trying to keep track of them all. It was actually sort of impressive how many Elves there were. If Craig had been the type to be easily amazed, he would have been, but he was sort of bored of this whole show at this point. He wanted the fight to start, not drag out like this.

Thankfully, the beginning came soon enough.

"Grand Wizard," Kyle spat, sounding disgusted as if the very words were dirty.

"High Jew Elf," Cartman answered back, sounding practically malicious.

From his own vessel, his hair flying out behind him, Kenny purred, "Are you prepared to get your asses handed to you on a plate, oh vicious Drow Elves of the northern territories?"

"In your fucking dreams, Kenny," Stan answered, drawing his sword as he tilted his head back.

"Th-that's Lady McCormick t'you!" Butters insisted, his tone firm. "Y'know, if it isn't too much trouble an' stuff."

"Well then, I see no point in dragging this out," Kyle said stiffly, lifting his golf club like it was a staff. "May the best faction win."

And with a flash of Cartman and Kyle's staffs, the battle began.

Instantly, Craig found himself beset by several Elves, no doubt targeting him because he was a bigger threat than most of the players around him. Dodging left, ducking and rolling to avoid the word headed for his throat, Craig drew the new darts Kenny had given him swiftly and threw three of them, hitting two Elves. Coming up with a knife in his right hand, Craig was forced to parry the Ranger who attacked him, the boy's sword flashing as he attempted to get a hit in.

Out on the sea, Craig watched as large streaks of fire flared in his vision. Elves and Humans were locked in vicious battles, their swords and other weapons flashing as people yelled out spells and people got close to falling into the water. Naturally, Token's boat design was quickly proving to be superior as most of the humans in each of them could stand at once without tipping the boat or even getting too unsteady. Craig might have marveled at this, but he was currently too busy defeating the archer that had come up behind him to pay much attention to them.

"Die Human scum!" the first Ranger yelled, viciously attacking Craig. Deflecting the blow, though not quickly enough to avoid damage, Craig drew his other knife and managed to land two strikes to the boy's back before being forced to duck and roll as several arrows went flying over his head.

Rolling his eyes, despite the gravity of the situation, Craig took the Ranger out with a slice to his throat before muttering, "You'd think you guys would come up with some better fucking insults." Twisting around to deal with Archer, Craig let out a groan as several other Rangers raced at him, their swords drawn. He had half a mind to just evade them and go find Tweek, but to be honest, he wasn't sure if he should. Besides, the blond would probably find him soon enough anyway.

The fighting sort of started to blur at some point. Each Elf that attacked him proved to be another challenge, and yet each one fell like the last. Admittedly they were leaving him more and more battered with every moment, but Craig had a lot of health points to spare, and several 'health potions' that Butters had given him in a well-meaning attempt to be nice. It was probably a good thing, because Token was busy casting spells on the humans on the water, keeping them alive.

As the sun set on the horizon, the battle raged on. Craig watched as humans and Elves both got pitched overboard into the freezing water only to be hauled back into their boats by their respective sides. On the opposite side of the banks, Jimmy was fending off five separate humans at once with his bardic songs, a grin on his face as he did so. Craig still hadn't seen Tweek, but he trusted that the blond was alright. After all, he hadn't heard any screaming and he knew better than to worry about him unnecessarily while fighting. That tended to him getting hurt when he really didn't need to.

Clashing with yet another Elf, this one a healer, Craig ground his teeth together as several more Rangers joined the fight. He could see the casualties around him, Humans and Elves alike. Though he'd already done plenty of damage, he didn't want to end up as one of those out of commission. Gritting his teeth, Craig attacked twice as hard as before, throwing his all into defeating this healer. The Elves only had three after all, if he could take this one down, that would be a good thing. He was pretty sure Token had specifically said that taking out the Healers was important. Though he might have been misremembering.

"Give it up," Craig said flatly as he landed another hit on the boy, a fifth grader he didn't know the name of. "You can't beat me, I'm a level eleven Thief." It was a fair point, and he proved it by taking out one of the Rangers that had been defending the Healer with several well-placed blows to the boy's kidneys. As he went down, Craig easily stepped over him, advancing on the other two Elves.

"You're nothing but the pawn of the Grand Wizard," the other Ranger spat, his sword swinging out at Craig's side. Dodging it, Craig caught the tip of the blade with his own and slashed his knife against the boy's ribs. He hated being called a pawn, no matter how true it might be. He'd known he was being used since the beginning, before the wedding even, but sometimes he would rather just forget. It always made him feel irritated after all, reminded him that he was only part of this whole stupid game because of the whims of Cartman of all fucking people.

"And you're not a pawn for Kyle?" Craig bit out, feeling frustrated as the healer touched the Ranger's shoulder, bringing him back to full health. "We're all fucking pawns, some of us are just better at it than others." He proved this point by ducking around the healer's back and dealing a fair amount of damage to the boy. Judging by the way the Elf growled in pain, he could only assume that the boy would have a lovely bruise the next day. He wasn't about to lie and say that didn't bring him satisfaction.

"At least our leader isn't an asshole." At the sound of that voice, Craig ducked without thinking. It was a good thing he did because otherwise, Chris Donnelly's sword would have cut him in half. "Craig Tucker," the boy said, pointing his blade at Craig's face with a grin. "I believe we have some unfinished business."

"Fuck you," Craig commented, before attacking. Flashing his knives out, Craig was irritated when they were both deflected easily by the Elf. Keeping the Healer and the other Ranger in his line of sight as best as he could, Craig ducked down, aiming for Chris' ribs, only to find a blade headed for his throat. Changing tactics half-way through, Craig pushed the offending blade away, only to end up getting knocked aside as the flat of Chris' blade caught him in the side.

"Don't tell me that 'marriage' has made you soft," Chris challenged, his eyes glinting dangerously. Glaring at the boy, Craig darted forward, both knives out and headed for the Elf's face. At the last second however, he changed directions and caught Chris' shoulder with several hard jabs. Feeling a sweep of satisfaction at the way the boy's smile disappeared, Craig cursed under his breath when the Ranger behind him caught him again with his blade. Though it was only a glancing blow, Craig still knew those were precious hit points he couldn't afford to lose.  _I need to deal with the healer and the other Ranger._  But both times he'd fought Chris before, he'd lost, which was undeniably frustrating.

"It's not fucking marriage," Craig growled instead, attempting to get behind Chris only to find himself cut off by the Healer who threw some pop-its in his path, which was supposed to symbolize holy fire. "We're fucking dating and fuck. You." Accenting both of his words with a strike, Craig grit his teeth as one of them was parried and the other hardly did any damage at all.  _Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck-_ He needed Tweek to jump in and guard his back before Chris took him down.

Suddenly, as if by wishing he'd made something happen, the Healer dropped, an arrow sticking to his forehead.  _There's only one person who shoots that well._  Feeling a rush of power and warmth run through him, Craig said, "About fucking time," before throwing himself at Chris with a renewed vigor. Though the boy was still undeniably tough, without the healer there to heal him, Craig was able to wear down on his health. Feeling his back brush up against something, Craig knew that it had to be Tweek. Though the sounds of battle were too loud to hear the boy's twitchy sounds, it was the only person it could be.

"That's not fair!" Chris exclaimed, his eyes widening. Using the boy's surprise to his advantage, Craig landed several hits to the boy's ribs before delivering a critical to the boy's chest.

"You'd better fucking believe it is," Craig said. Realizing that Chris Donnelly's health was getting low, the Thief did the thing he'd wanted to do since he'd first fought Chris and took him down at last. With quick, precise movements, Craig kicked out one of the Elf's legs, taking him down to one knee. As he struggled to get to his feet, Craig swept around behind him and put one knife to the back of his neck and the other to his throat. Planting his knee in the middle of Chris' back, Craig pushed him down to the ground and said softly, "Do you know why? It's because the Humans are fucking better than the Elves."

Looking up, already smiling at the thought of Tweek's shining eyes, Craig's body suddenly went cold. Because Tweek wasn't the one looking at him, instead he was facing Bebe, who was standing before him, her chin raised and an excited look on her face.  _Wait, no, I'm supposed to be fighting with Tweek. Why is she here?_

Suddenly drawing her bow, Bebe fired a bolt off, the arrow flying past Craig's ear. "If you're going to daydream Feldspar, might not want to do it while we're fighting," she informed him, even as the Elf that had been sneaking up on him fell. Still not fully comprehending what was happening, Craig turned towards the water, a horrible sinking sensation going through him as he did so. Because somehow, he knew what he was going to find.

Tweek was in one of the boats, standing there alone on the vessel as he stared at Craig. Even as the Noirette watched, several more Elves came at him and Bebe forcing him to stand back to back with her so he could fight off the attackers. Though he knew he shouldn't, he turned back, just in time to see Tweek's horrified and… broken expression staring back at him. Abruptly, Craig felt himself wishing that the blond didn't show so much emotion because though he didn't understand the horrible sinking in his stomach, it took him over, making his movements sluggish, allowing the Elf he was fighting to almost land a critical on him.

"Feldspar, focus!" Bebe commanded. Gritting his teeth together, despite how wrong this felt now that he knew he wasn't fighting with Tweek, Craig forced himself to push back against the Elves, quickly dispatching the already injured Ranger with several quick hits. Catching sight of Bebe's enemy about to hit the side of her head with his blade, Craig ground his teeth together harder before catching the blade with his own, allowing Bebe to jab the boy's heart with her short sword, finally taking him out.

Realizing that most of the fighting had migrated to the other side of the pond, Craig turned just in time to hear a screech cut through the sounds of the battle. Eyes going for Tweek, the Noirette could hardly track him as the blond leaped from his own boat onto an Elven ship, his club in one hand and his sword in the other. With the ferociousness of a demon, Tweek cut through the Elves in the ship, knocking out two and pushing the other three into the water with pure force. Mouth falling open, even as the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach grew, Craig hardly even noticed the feeling of Bebe pulling on his arm.

"We have to go help on the other side," She was insisting, but Craig couldn't listen, all he could do was watch as Tweek cut through the Elves, drawing his bow and firing with deadly accuracy, striking Elf after Elf, all fear of the water and fighting on it clearly gone. Suddenly, Clyde was there as well, jumping into the Elven boat and rowing it towards the other Elves, his sword clenched between his teeth. Wanting to yell out to Tweek but unsure what he was even supposed to say, Craig started to move around the Pond, pulling Bebe with him. He wanted to get out there and help the blond, but he was stuck on land so he could only watch as Tweek and Clyde suddenly engaged another Elven ship in battle, both of them attacking with a power that Craig had honestly never seen.

"Craig, stop, what are you doing?" Bebe asked, pulling him back. Shaking his head numbly, Craig watched as Clyde threw an Elf off of the boat and Tweek hit the boy in the head with his pan, preventing him from getting back on.  _Jesus, they're actually going to drown these people!_  He could hear Tweek screaming out words, but he couldn't make them out and it was honestly making him worried.

"I have to get to him," Craig was saying, trying to push Bebe away. His voice was a flat mumble, but his movements were urgent. He didn't know how he knew that something was horribly wrong, but just by watching Tweek, he could tell. "He's not okay, I have to do something."

"Craig you can't get to him!" Bebe was insisting, instinctively knowing who Craig was talking about. As they watched, Tweek leaped onto an empty human vessel, his club already raised. He and Clyde were clearly headed for Kyle's boat, even though the boy was already locked in a battle with Cartman. "Stop this! We don't have a boat, you can't-"

"I have to," Craig insisted, his volume rising. Even as Tweek suddenly attacked Stan, forcing the boy's attention away from Butters, Craig struggled against Bebe. The other warriors around the Pond were slowly stopping what they were doing as well so they could watch Clyde and Tweek take on the leaders of the Elven Kingdom. But it was all so wrong and Tweek looked nothing short of furious. Gritting his teeth, Craig held back the desire to yell for Tweek.

As the battle in the lake raged, Elves and humans alike hurrying to get as close as possible to the fighting boys so they could join in, Tweek knocked Stan's sword out of his hand. In that same moment, Clyde lunged forward, knocking Kyle over. For a moment, the Elven king flailed, then he was tipping over falling into the icy waters beneath.

Like they were all one beast, the humans suddenly roared out their approval, knowing instinctively that this meant the battle was over. Pointing his sword at Stan, who was defenseless, Clyde demanded, "Surrender to us now, Elven Dirt!"

Gritting his teeth together, Stan yelled out, "Elves, retreat!"

At his words, the humans erupted in cheers. All Craig could do was move in the direction Tweek was rowing his boat, his pan forgotten as he pushed himself back to land. Clyde was still standing, his sword raised in the air and a triumphant expression on his face, almost like he'd been vindicated by this. As Tweek's boat bumped the shore, Craig was there, trying to get to the blond.

"Tweek-" he started, unsure what he was even supposed to say.

"What,  _Craig?"_  Tweek spat, making Craig back up. The boy looked practically furious, but worse still, Craig was sure that there were tears in the boy's eyes. As if to confirm this, Tweek wiped at them before standing up straighter. "What do you want with  _me?"_

Taking a step back, unsure how he was supposed to handle Tweek's inexplicable anger, Craig muttered, "Nothing," wishing desperately that he had a better answer. Like this was the wrong thing to say, Tweek gritted his teeth in a snarl and twitched horribly, his hand going to the hilt of his club.

"Yeah, c-clearly." With those words, the boy walked away from Craig, leaving him to stand beside Bebe, a flat, yet upset expression on his face. All he could do was watch them go.

_I fucked up, didn't I?_

This time, Craig didn't need Bebe to tell him that he was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I'm starting to wonder if instead of saying 'enjoy' at the beginning of chapters, I should say 'cry'. Admittedly, it would be more accurate...
> 
> While we're on the subject of crying, what do you guys think? Do you like it when a story can make you cry, or do you hate it?? Personally, I have sort of a love-hate relationship with stories that can bring me to tears. On one hand, I hate that clenching feeling in my heart I get as things go south and the characters start to shatter into a million pieces, but by the same token, I love it, because it means these characters mean something to me. There's a certain level of skill that's required for a story to make you cry, a certain mix of fluff and angst and beautifully written emotions that just hurts so good. Honestly, if a story is making me cry over a goddamn cravat, then I ain't even mad darlings~ XD
> 
> But what do you think about it?? *floats off on a boat, sailing on the seas of tears*


	72. Just Let Me Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll put the art in the next chapter.
> 
> Just... I'm sorry.
> 
> Enjoy.

_I’m messed up, I’m horrible._

Tweek shivered as he walked, his whole body convulsing with tremors. He wished he could reach into his skin and yank out the thing that was making him feel like he was dying, the alien that wouldn’t leave him alone, the monster that made him act monstrously. But it was so deep into him at this point, like it had poisoned the very blood coursing through his body, pumping through his heart and slowly killing it.

_I should be going to Token’s house with the others, I shouldn’t just be leaving._

Images kept flashing through his mind, bits and pieces of the battle that made everything inside of him break just that much more. He could remember the terror he’d felt as he’d struggled to fight the Elves on a boat while it tipped beneath his feet. It had been horrible, and there was this strong memory of him thinking that the only thing he really wanted was for Craig to be with him, fighting back to back like they usually did.

_He hates me, he’s going to wish I never existed. How am I supposed to compare against a girl that he’s dating?? Why do I even want to compare?!_

Despite his fear, he’d just sort of assumed that Craig was there somewhere, fighting close enough that if he turned around he’d find the boy, coming to aid him, ready to help him fight off the Elves. Thought there had been spells flying and swords flashing and people getting pushed into the icy water beneath them, Tweek had felt some level of safety in the knowledge that Craig was there. Somewhere, he was fighting as well and if he was doing it and if he was doing his best to get closer to Tweek, then Tweek was going to fight with all the might he had.

_What, did I think I’d be able to really be more important to him than Bebe?? Why would I even imagine something like that?! It’s so different than what Clyde was saying, it’s not like Bebe is just another friend. She’s his girlfriend! That automatically makes her more important!! Why did I think I could beat that!?! Why did I try!?_

He’d been so sure that Craig was there somewhere, but when he’d gotten a moment to breathe, when he’d managed to knock the Elves on his ship off and into the water below, Tweek hadn’t seen Craig there with him. He’d looked, he’d desperately searched everywhere because his first thought was that Craig had fallen in or something, but he hadn’t been in the water. For a moment, he’d panicked, but then he’d looked to the opposite shore and he’d seen the truth.

_I’m such an idiot…_

There, his eyes alight with excitement and determination, had been Craig, fighting back to back with Bebe. They’d looked like a shining beacon from where Tweek was, like their combined power made them glow. He’d gotten to watch as Craig finally took down Chris Donnelly before looking up at Bebe and smiling that small yet radiant smile that he’d only ever shown Tweek before. And it had been turned at Bebe, because they were fighting together, doing the one thing that Tweek had wanted to do with Craig. The only thing he’d asked for while he’d allowed the boy’s time and attention to be taken up by Bebe.

_Allowed?? Jesus, what am I allowing?! I can’t control Craig!! Craig’s his own person and he’s allowed to date and smile at and fight with whoever he wants!!!_

In that moment though, staring at the two of them, Tweek had felt himself break. All of the pain that he’d been holding back and convincing himself was wrong and stupid to have suddenly poured out of him, pulling him to pieces. As all of the Tweek-shaped pieces had fallen into the water below, Tweek had been able to do nothing but twitch and stare in horror as Bebe protected Craig like the perfect girlfriend she was and Craig had kept staring at her, no doubt like she was the sun.

Then, like it was somehow okay, like he was somehow only now remembering that Tweek existed like had become the norm over the last month, Craig had gotten to his feet and looked out at the blond. He’d had the nerve to look surprised. And then a moment later he’d just turned back towards his own fight and protected Bebe like they’d fought together their whole life. Like Tweek was nothing.

As the blond stared at his feet, clenching his arms like he wanted to leave handprints in them, he had to admit that at least Craig had finally figured it out. He was nothing, it was just Craig had managed to make him believe that he was worth something after all. But he wasn’t all he was happened to be a fucked up spaz who had attachment issues and a million monsters that watched him with their glowing eyes. He wasn’t smart like Token or happy and funny like Clyde or nice and normal like Bebe. He had nothing that Craig would want, he was just a twitchy fuck that had stumbled into the Noirette’s life and proceeded to fuck it up in every way imaginable.

Gritting his teeth, he remembered vaguely the way he’d broken at that, snapped in a way that he hadn’t thought possible. His throat still hurt from the scream he’d let out as the world had started to look like so many shades of red. Craig had always said that he was more important, that they were a team, that everyone else could just fuck off but clearly, it had been nothing much so much bullshit because Craig had done nothing of the sort. He’d chosen Bebe again and again and toed the line and Tweek was done. If Craig wanted to be a good boyfriend, then he could stop pretending like he didn’t want it, because Tweek was sick of it.

Which is why once the terror had fled his mind, leaving him with nothing but pure, unadulterated rage, Tweek had just sort of attacked. Every Elf in his way became a new target, a new thing to destroy because this stupid game was the reason that he hadn’t been allowed to live in that happy bubble with Craig forever. This stupid game had taken what good things he’d finally been given and Craig had taken back all the peace of mind he’d ever given to Tweek in one fell swoop.

And it hurt. It really really hurt.

Stumbling up the steps to his own house, Tweek was unbelievably glad the door was open, because even if he had been able to find the key, there was no way he’d have been able to stop shaking enough to put it into the lock. Almost falling through it, Tweek looked up through blurry eyes to find his parents sitting in the living room, his mother knitting away at the scarf that she’d been making for years and could probably mummify a small child with how long it was and his father reading some sort of subscription to a coffee magazine he wouldn’t have been able to name if he tried. Looking up at him, Richard Tweek smiled, his face as blank as ever. “Hello son, how are you this morning.”

Shaking harder, his fingers going for his hair, Tweek found himself shrieking, “HORRIBLE, I WANT T-TO DIE!!!”

Turning her porcelain face to Tweek, the boy’s mother tilted her head slightly and smiled, even as Tweek’s father said, “That’s great son. Don’t forget you have school soon.” Shivering, his feet moving backward even as he twitched harder and wished he could just scream some more, Tweek spun on his heels and ran, heading for his room without looking back. His whole house felt so empty and horrible and god, he wanted to scream.

Because all that he could hear in his ears was his own voice and Craig’s, repeating the same words over and over again, stuck in a loop that made him feel like puking. His own venomous, desperate words, _What do you want with me?_ Begging for Craig to say something, to apologize, to say any of those empty things that had made him feel better before. Anything to keep him from losing it, even though he was crying because it hurt so much.

But all Craig had said was _Nothing._ Because why would he want Tweek for anything when he was broken, and fucked-up, and nothing but a million disgusting emotions that he shouldn’t even feel.

Choking on his own breath, Tweek burst into his room and looked around at the walls that were closing in around him. All he wanted was to feel better, all he wanted was for things to stop hurting so much. He just wanted Craig back, the Craig who’d said fuck the system and meant it every single time. The Craig that had looked at him and told Tweek that he’d notice if he vanished. The Craig that had run to him when the monsters got to be too much. The Craig that had told him they’d always be fucked up together. The Craig that had let Tweek fall asleep on his shoulder as he pointed to the stars.

The boy who’d pushed him around on the Merry-go-round so he could feel like he was flying.

The person who’d patted his head to calm him down.

_The monster in the back of the class who just stared at me and never said a word._

As he sucked in a deep, shuddering breath, Tweek found himself yanking the Manbearpig pelt off of his shoulders and throwing it in the corner. Pulling at his weapons belts, shedding them, Tweek twitched and rubbed at his dry eyes as the pain in his stomach got worse. He was nothing but a desperate idiot who’d believed that he might have some worth. Reaching blindly for a shirt, Tweek only belatedly realized it was the shirt that Craig had gotten him.

Feeling like he was about to scream, no, _knowing_ he was about to scream, Tweek stumbled backward from the thing in his room that made it feel like it was crumbling around him and tore out of his room, racing back down the stairs without a thought in his head except getting out. Ignoring the words his parents attempted to speak at him, Tweek shoved his way through the front door and out into the cold night air. It wasn’t below freezing anymore but Tweek hardly cared. It didn’t matter if he was cold, the pain in his chest was more than enough to distract him.

Without even really thinking about where he was going, Tweek just started running, ignoring the monsters that he knew were just out of sight watching him and following him. It didn’t matter anymore, he just had to get out. He had to escape the pain clogging up his throat and turning his blood to pure poison. All he wanted was Craig, he just wanted the boy to go back to normal, even if normal turned out to only be the Craig who stared at him and scared him and didn’t give two shits about anyone. Tweek wanted that, he wanted that shining and terrifying thing he could look up to and aspire to be like. He wanted to go back to being alone, just so he wouldn’t know what loneliness was anymore.

He wanted it to stop.

Pushing himself, even though his already bruised legs were burning and his body was aching with exhaustion, Tweek kept running. He didn’t even know where he was going, he just knew he needed to get out. Away from the things that were haunting him. Away from the pain, away from the pressure in his skull.

Not bothering to stop when he ran across the street, hardly caring if he got hit with a car one way or another, Tweek felt his mind slowly collapsing in on itself as more words echoed back at him. _You’re too paranoid to see past your own delusions!_ He wasn’t he knew that this was real. The pain he was feeling was too much to be anything but real.  _You have no idea what’s running through my head!_ But it didn’t matter anymore, did it? Tweek would never understand the Noirette, not now, not when they got old and things changed even more than they already had.

 _Maybe you should have fucking asked, maybe you should have spoken to me!!!_ How was Tweek supposed to talk to Craig when all his words came out wrong? How was he supposed to fix anything when all he did was make things worse? Craig didn’t know what was going on any more than he did so why did it feel like a slap in the face every time something else eroded away? Why was he so fucked up to feel like this when Craig hadn’t even done anything wrong?

 _Do you see what I am now Tweek, do you see what a monster I fucking am??_ Skidding on mud, hatting the feeling flowing through him and the person who had put it there, Tweek only now realized where he was heading as the trees flashed past him. Watching as Stark’s Pond loomed large in his vision, black and silent now that the war was over and everything had already been forgotten. Nothing but one lonely human boat floating about near the shore, a testament to everything that had happened, and yet a mockery of the pain that Tweek was feeling now.

 _Fuck you! I hate you!_ _I hate you and your paranoia and your damn face and your damn_ eyes.

He was so sick of hearing Craig’s voice in his head, he was so _sick_ of this pain.

Slipping and stumbling to a stop before the vast, silent body of water, Tweek put his hands to his mouth and yelled, expending the last of the breath he had left, “I H-HATE YOU CRAIG TUCKER!!!!” Forced to suck down air or pass out, Tweek shook and twitched horribly as he grit his teeth together and screamed out over the water. “I FUCKING HATE YOU AND  -NGH- I WISH YOU D-DIDN’T EXIST!!!!”

As the pain only got worse, attempting to choke him, Tweek clenched his fists and hollered, “I WISH Y-YOU’D NEVER STARTED DATING BEBE!! I WISH YOU’D JUST –RRR- BREAK UP WITH HER!!” Shaking harder, Tweek wrapped his arms around his stomach as chills ran through him. There was so much in his head that he couldn’t let out, so much pain that made him want to break down and just _die._

“GOD, I DON’T EVEN C-CARE IF YOU KEEP DATING HER!!” Tweek’s voice cracked at the end, and he twitched violently, his teeth clattering together as he yelled. “I’M JUST TIRED –GHN- OF PRETENDING LIKE THIS IS OKAY!! I’M SO F-FUCKING SICK OF ALL OF THE THINGS YOU MAKE ME F-FEEL!! ALL OF THE PAIN AND NUMBESS AND S-STUPID EMOTIONS, I JUST WANT IT TO STOP!” It didn’t make him feel any better, screaming out all of the horrible things in his head. All he wanted to do was curl up and die, but the words just kept coming, like some horrible sort of thing was making him keep going.

“I HATE HOW YOU L-LET THEM TELL YOU WANT TO DO!” he shrieked, shaking his head hard enough to make everything throb. “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO –GHN- GIVE A F-FUCK!! WHY DO YOU CARE NOW!? JESUS, I- I JUST WANTED TO FIGHT WITH YOU TODAY!!! WHY COULDN’T I HAVE THAT ONE THING!?” He’d given Bebe everything else, all the other pieces of Craig that he’d come to take for granted. But as the month and a half that this whole thing had happened over had gone by, he’d watched Craig slowly become quicker to bow his head and listen rather than stand up and fight.

Staring up at the empty, cloudy sky above him, Tweek growled and yelled, “THINGS USED TO M-MAKE SENSE!! IT DOESN’T –NGH- MAKE SENSE ANYMORE, IT JUST H-HURTS!!” Pouring out his soul, the things he hadn’t even consciously put together, Tweek continued, “YOU SAY IT’S GONNA G-GET BETTER, AND YOU S-SAY YOU’RE NOT GONNA FORGET ME B-BUT- AUGH OH GOD YOU KEEP F-FORGETTING ME!! I WANT THINGS TO BE N-NORMAL!”

What even was normal anymore? Did he even know? Would he be able to tell if he saw it?

“I WISH I COULD JUST GO B-BACK TO WHEN YOU DIDN’T –GRR- EXIST IN MY L-LIFE!!” Tweek wished he could forget the whole day, he wished he could go back to when it didn’t hurt. Clyde had called it jealousy but jealousy shouldn’t make someone feel like they were dying. Which meant that he was fucked up, it meant that he was defective and didn’t belong. But he’d already known that no one wanted him and that no one cared and that really he shouldn’t even exist, but Craig had given his life some meaning.

And now the boy probably hated him. Even if he didn’t, Tweek didn’t think he could exist in this twisted sort of limbo any fucking longer. He was killing himself, it wasn’t even Craig. It was just his own fucked up mind and he should stop trying to make the Noirette live two lives when he’d already chosen the one he wanted. Tweek could have said how much it made it Clyde hurt, he could have yelled about how Craig wasn’t even happy, but what if he was?

If what he’d seen during the battle was any indication, he was happy. Happy without Tweek, happy with Bebe even if he had been forced into the relationship.

Feeling like he was on the brink of tears, Tweek reached his shaking hands up into his hair and screamed, “I HATE YOU C-CRAIG TUCKER! I HATE YOU, AND YOUR EMOTIONLESSNESS, AND YOUR –RRR- LIES AND YOUR F-FUCKING-” Voice cracking, Tweek felt his knees hit the muddy ground as he croaked out, “And  y-your _smile.”_ His smile, that made Tweek feel like he was okay, even when he wasn’t. Curling in on himself as his shivers got worse, Tweek whispered, “I hate myself, I hate w-what I am. I want to be n-normal, and not –ngh- f-feel this way.”

With glassy eyes, Tweek stared out at the water and softly said, “M-maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe I –rrr- really am just crazy.”

 _You’re not just crazy._ Glancing over towards that single raft still floating around in the water, his breath coming in short, distorted gasps, Tweek bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed at the sight of that mirage of Craig, sitting there on the raft. His knees were drawn up to his chest and his calm blue eyes were full of all of that pain that Tweek had seen in Craig when he’d yelled at him before. All of the anguish that he’d ignored in favor of being selfish and pretending like he was the only one hurting.

Flatly, just like the Noirette would have if he were there in person, Mental Craig continued, _If you are crazy, then we’re all fucked up as well. This whole fucking game isn’t a game anymore, is it? It’s nothing but an ugly mess._ Staring at the shimmering version of Craig, Tweek shook his head, his mouth forming around words that he never said. He didn’t want to see Craig right now, not when he was such a mess, but at the same time, it made him wish for the real thing, if only so he could feel better. Even if it would be pretend.

Voice coming out strangled because of his earlier screaming, Tweek whimpered, “Why do you –ghn- k-keep acting like this? Why w-won’t things get better??”

 _Honestly?_ The vision of Craig unfurled his limbs and tipped back his chin so he could pull his coat out of the way. Around his neck, glowing, was what looked like a collar. Tweek didn’t get it, but apparently something deep in his subconscious did because a moment later, Craig said, _Don’t you remember what Kenny said? About collaring me? I think they succeeded._ Even with those words, Tweek didn’t get it, he just shook his head weakly.

Shrugging, the mirage of Craig let his hand trail through the water, and even though it wasn’t real, Tweek could see the ripples form in the surface of the pond. _They tamed me, but I don’t know if it matters anymore. As long as this game continues, it’s only going to get worse._ Looking at the blond sharply, his eyes as piercing as they were in real life, Craig finished, _I’m good at fucking things up, but eventually, somethings going to break._

“I already have,” Tweek mumbled back, even as the image of Craig faded from his sight. _Jesus, I just want it to stop._ Shivering painfully, Tweek curled his back and stared at the edge of the water, noticing as he did so Kenny’s Princess tiara washing up on the bank. _He fell in, didn’t he… I think he drowned._ Or maybe he was imagining things again…

“Tweek.”

He didn’t fall over, he didn’t scream, all the blond boy did was stumble to his feet and stare at Craig, who was standing there, breathing heavily, his eyes wide and full of pain even if his face was as blank as ever. Twitching, Tweek wrapped his arms around his stomach and squeezed as the pain filled him once more. The anger. All of the helplessness he couldn’t begin to name.

“Wh-what?” Tweek bit out, his shivering only increasing as he stared at Craig. Very slowly, like he wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to do, Craig walked towards him, his eyes full of conflict and his mouth pressed into a pained line. “What do you want?” he demanded, his voice growing more tremulous by the second. This was too much, he couldn’t handle this anymore. Craig shouldn’t have known he was here, and yet he had and now he was walking towards Tweek, his eyes sad and scared and pained. It wasn’t _okay._

“Tweek-” Craig repeated, his flat voice sounding off. Teeth chattering horribly, Tweek shook his head slowly, wishing it would stop. He didn’t want to deal with this, not when it wasn’t going to make anything better. Not when even his own subconscious was too fucked to make sense of it in a way he could understand. He wanted everything to just _stop._

Looking down at the ground, Tweek shivered harder, wanting to scream and hating himself for it. Wanting Craig to make it better and knowing the boy wouldn’t be able to this time. Wishing, no matter how stupid it was to do so, that things would just feel better.

Suddenly, a heavy, warm weight settled around his shoulders, cutting through the shivering. As the edges of Craig’s coat came into his vision, Tweek’s heart just sort of… stopped. Before he could pull himself together, before he could even remember to breathe, the tears started pouring down his face. Clutching at the edges of Craig’s jacket, hating himself and hating the world, but unable to really truly hate Craig, Tweek just twitched and cried, unable to form words.

“I’m sorry,” Craig said, his tone tight, thick.

 _I’m really just going to pretend it’s alright? I’m going to let this happen all over again?? Jesus what’s wrong with me?!_   Shaking his head violently, even as he felt like he was going to throw up and the tears fell harder, Tweek pushed out, “Don’t say that.”

“Tweek, I-” Craig’s voice faltered and Tweek looked up to find the boy looking at him with more emotion than he’d ever seen. The only thing on his face was confusion, fear, and pain. Taking a step back from him, even though it hurt worse than anything else, Tweek shook his head again and pulled Craig’s coat off of his own shoulders before shoving it back towards the boy with jerky fingers. Even though he was trying to give it back, he could feel the way his fingers refused to fully let go.

“S-stop pretending Craig and just-” Choking on a sob, Tweek shivered and pushed out, _“Just l-leave.”_ Making himself let go of Craig’s jacket, Tweek too another stumbling step back, wiping his eyes as he did so. “D-don’t tell me y-you’re sorry because nothing ever –ghn- Nothing ever _changes.”_

“Then tell me what I’m doing wrong,” Craig insisted, holding his coat dumbly like he couldn’t quite figure out why Tweek had given it back to him.

His eyes were so lost, but Tweek couldn’t even begin to stop himself from spitting through his tears, “Y-you’re not doing anything and –ngh- th-that’s the problem!”

“Then what do you want me to do!” Craig exclaimed, his blue eyes so dark and dim and _dull_ and maybe it was Tweek’s imagination, but he was crying too much to figure it out. “Just tell me why you’re upset-”

“I’m _fine,”_  Tweek said, pawing at his eyes. “You’ve got a girlfriend Craig, y-you’ve got a life.” Shuddering, wishing he could stop, but knowing he had to say the words before he lost the nerve, Tweek finished, “P-please stop making me hurt, okay?”

Before Craig could answer, Tweek stumbled away from him, bending down as he went and picking up Kenny’s tiara. The anger was gone, everything was gone, all he had left was empty defeat. And he just wanted it to stop hurting, but he knew it wouldn’t, so he gripped the tiara hard enough for it to start to cut into his hand and kept walking, because if he didn’t he’d probably fall down.

_I’m fine._

_I’m fine._

_I’m fine…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it makes you feel any better, I'm crying too?


	73. Just Enough Rope To Hang Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's official, I'm adopting all of you as my children. Don't ask how this started, only know that as of now, you're all my children and therefore I have to be nicer to you now.
> 
> WHICH TRANSLATES TO I'M SORRY ABOUT THE ANGST O K A Y
> 
> Now, fan art!
> 
> As always, first we have Mianewarcher and her Olympian levels of being able to fucK ME UP. I mean first to see Tweek fighting like a badass but then to notice Bebe and Craig fighting in the background together I c a n ' t. I have to say, these drawings really did hit me hard though, especially the one of Craig with his collar. I don't know how many of you picked up on the symbolism, but goddam, she must've got something because these drawings hurt. Tweek crying just kills me, alright?? I'm a very tender soul! -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/170021290905/upacreekwithcraigandtweek-jesus-chapters-7172<\-- Go on, cry, in case I haven't made you cry enough XD
> 
> The second piece of art was done by Stopfordonuts. Actually, they did like the next few drawings XD The first one is a wonderful reminder of why I should get my writer's privileges taken away because I only hurt these poor characters. I'm of course talking about when Tweek ran to Clyde crying because Craig was leaving him heartbroken. These poor boys, and honestly, they draw them so well so it just makes it that much more painful. -->https://teamalphaq.tumblr.com/post/169998441703/stopfordonuts-seperate-post-with-all-the-tweek<\-- check it out~
> 
> The third piece, also done by Stopfordonuts (I don't deserve this much wonderfulness, really darling), is of chapter 71 and again proves why I shouldn't be allowed to write anything because I kill my poor characters. There's one of Tweek fighting, which looks badass, and two of Craig. Honestly, the one where he's just saying 'fuck you' is just one big fucking mood if there ever was one. -->https://teamalphaq.tumblr.com/post/170049818012/stopfordonuts-were-all-fucking-paws-wow-i<\-- You should probably look at them, they're amazing. But if you want more, then they actually have an entirely different set of doodles for Craig and Tweek's conversation after the fight. You know, the one that was heartbreaking and horrible?? -->https://teamalphaq.tumblr.com/post/170063017783/stopfordonuts-omg-chapter-71-hurt-my-heart-omg<\-- Craig's face in this one is priceless and heartbreaking all at the same time. Jesus, with all these mood swings, I might as well be on drugs or something XD
> 
> The fourth piece of art was done by Scarredsunshine and mmm, you know what, I needed this. I need more of Craig with his angel wings, he's such a broken little boy but he's trying so hard to figure his shit out. He just wants to keep Tweek safe, even if it fucks everything else up. It's wonderful, seriously, and I love the style of the art as well. -->http://scarredsunshine.tumblr.com/post/169992592710/another-piece-for-teamalphaq-i-love-this-line<\-- So yeah, you know what to do ;)
> 
> The fifth and final drawing for today was done by No1sKing94 and bless them for this. I needed this so much. It's a really heartbreaking picture of the last chapter, of Tweek holding back tears and of Craig with his collar. My god though, it's amazing. I know they say they can't do fire, but I think they got the message across because it fucked me up. There's so much too that whole chapter, I would try and explain, but I'd be going on forever. -->https://imaginarylasers.tumblr.com/post/170019489809/tfw-you-only-meant-to-spend-twenty-minutes-on-a<\-- so instead just look at it and stop listening to me XD
> 
> Thus endeth this edition of why I don't deserve such wonderful readers.
> 
> Enjoy.

The window to Craig's room squeaked open somewhere around three. There was a certain way that it opened, coming up easily for a few centimeters before jerking to a stop. From there, you had to shift it to the side a little, otherwise, it wouldn't open right. That series of particular movements made it squeak in a particular way that was uniquely annoying, disquieting and familiarly among the sounds Craig could hear.

This time, however, it was nothing more than another thing to add to the buzz in the back of Craig's brain. He didn't look up from his slow, monotonous stroking of Stripe when it happened, even though it made his guinea pig jolt in his hands. Even if it had been a sound heralding his death or something of the like, he couldn't have made himself care. Those things that were supposed to at least draw his attention weren't affecting him anymore, his brain wasn't working anymore. The power had been disconnected, his circuits had been destroyed, he was just running on the backup generators. Just staring straight ahead and jerkily running his numb fingers over Stripe's fur.

His window squeaking open didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Well, actually a whole lot of things mattered but those things had been cut out of him with a knife, separating memories and emotions with the precision of a surgeon. They were memories, but he couldn't feel anything, just cold, empty, blackness. A void that faded with the rain spattering against the windows outside till he wasn't sure if he was awake, asleep or even alive at all.

There was the sound of someone tumbling through his window and rolling across the floor before the window squeaked again. Craig still didn't bother to look up. He was broken, fundamentally wrong in a way that wasn't meant to be fixed. A defective unit that was destined for the scrap yard and nothing more. He knew there was someone in his room, he knew they were closing the window behind them, but his mind didn't really register what that meant. Actually, his mind wasn't registering anything anymore.

Words, thoughts, events, they all sort of ran together, blurring into a mess that had become nothing but white noise in his brain. Slowly, his hand moved over Stripe again, flattening the guinea pig's fur that much more before lifting his hand and repeating the action. Stripe settled down once more, no longer caring about the other person in the room. Like owner, like pet, obviously. Who cared that there was another human around, they were nothing but scenery, another background character he couldn't remember.

There was no halo of blond hair, there was no pale tearstained face. There were no impossibly, painfully green eyes. There would never be another boy like that, the only one in existence was gone now. Ergo, Craig couldn't make himself pay attention to who it was.

"You know, drowning is a pain. I'm not saying it's physically the worst way to go but man is it a hassle." Craig's brain identified the voice, gave it the name  _Kenny McCormick,_  but he didn't respond and he didn't look up. At some point, he was going to just freeze in this position, if he hadn't already that is. "And the rain? A slap in the face. I'm telling you, the universe hates us Tucker, and honestly, I can't blame her."

Craig distantly wondered if he should answer, but he didn't trust his voice, nor could he think of anything decent to say. So instead he kept dragging his hand over Stripe while he wondered if this was how he was going to die. Sitting here alone, cold, tired, and unable to understand a word that was coming from his own mind. Kenny's presence didn't factor into the equation, but then nothing was quite factoring.

"It's funny, I could be literally anywhere else and yet I drug myself through the rain, not a fun experience might I ad, to come and talk to your sorry ass and you won't even look at me." Kenny tutted. "I could have been at Butterfree's house in fact, with a blanket around my shoulders and a happy blond angel to talk to, and yet here I am, sitting on your floor. I wonder why that is?" Waiting, maybe for Craig to say something but more likely for dramatic effect, Kenny prompted, "Any takers?"

Sighing, as if in disappointment, Kenny muttered, "Well it was worth a shot." From his peripheral vision, Craig could see the boy wiggle closer to him, pulling down his rain-covered parka hood down from his face as he went. "If you're not going to say anything, I might as well go over to Tweeker's house, at least that way I'd get to see the hysteria."

_Please stop making me hurt, okay?_  It was the first salient thought he'd had in hours, and it made Craig flinch.  _Tweek._  That name stretched out across the static of his mind like a cry of pain that he couldn't feel. He would have screamed it, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to make a sound. He would have whispered it, but he wasn't sure he remembered how to say it right. So it just floated in his mind, a light that had been snatched from his fingers without him even knowing what was happening.

Kenny let out a soft, dry sounding chuckle. "Yeah, funny how  _shitty_  things have turned out for us all. I'd say I never thought I'd see the day but that would be a lie, and no one likes a  _liar,_  right?"  _I hate you and your emotionlessness and your lies!_  Craig flinched again, Strike squeaked under his hand. His expression didn't change, but then he didn't have the energy required to move it anymore.

"Of course, when I say all of us, I mostly mean you, don't I? You and Tweeky and Clyde and Bebe and all of those other people who have been roped into your problems. But at the end of the day who even cares about the rest of them, no, it's much more important that you, Craig Tucker, are miserable. Then again, do you even feel anything at all?" Kenny spoke so conversationally like they were talking about the weather, it was almost lulling. Yet Craig wanted it to stop because it brought back flashes of heartbroken green eyes that left him number than before.  _Why heartbreak? Why any of it at all?_

"You know, I bet that Token wants to kill me right about now, then again, he's been pretty annoyed at me for the last month or two." Kenny shrugged and poked at his cheek with his tongue. "Oh, he knew what was going on, but strangely enough he didn't intervene either." Getting to his feet slowly, wandering over to Craig's side table and Kenny's apparent point of interest, the Noirette's phone. "I always took him to be such a mama bird but when his hatchlings need him the most, I guess he's willing to let everything go to shit."

Turning on Craig's phone, the boy fiddled with it, the action hardly drawing Craig's attention at all.  _You're not doing anything, and that's the problem._  Swallowing suddenly, Craig blinked twice before lifting his shaking hand and stroking Stripe like the broken machine that he was. Allowing a laugh to escape him, Kenny wiggled Craig's phone around and said, "At least he stepped in once it was too late, right? For someone who says he cares about his friends, he's not doing a good job of it." Putting down Craig's phone, the boy said, "Well,  _I_ never pretended to have your best interests at heart, now did I?"

_You say it's gonna get better and you say you're not gonna forget me._  "But maybe we just all collectively lost the plot," Kenny suggested, sauntering back over to where Craig was standing. Very slowly, his neck creaking as he moved, Craig looked up at the boy and tried to understand the emotions playing out across his face but though they were theatrical, he couldn't make heads or tails of them. "I haven't lost the plot of course, but maybe the rest of you just fell off the bus at some point or other."

_But, oh god, you keep forgetting me!_

Raising an eyebrow, the poor boy continued, "You can't feel a thing right now Tucker and I bet you'd tell me that this only started today, but I think you're wrong." Tapping the side of his head, Kenny continued. "That rot started a long time ago, that insipid inability to emote has been growing for a long while now and it's only exploded just now, right?" Goadingly, like he was trying to get a reaction from the Noirette, the boy said, "Come on, tell me I'm wrong cause I know I'm not. You brought this on yourself."

Smiling slowly, Kenny said, "You know Craig, I've always thought that you and Tweek were just an accident waiting to happen but this is honestly just disappointing. You don't even know what you did wrong, do you?" When Craig flinched under Kenny's words, he shook his head. "Oh man, this shit just gets better and better! We're fucking  _fourth graders,_  Fucker~ We're nothing but a bunch of snot-nosed children, do you even know why you can't feel a damn thing or are you just guessing?"

_Stop pretending and just leave._

Opening his mouth, Craig's voice came out as nothing more than a raspy croak. "What the fuck do you want from me, McCormick?" As memories started slowly to seep through the cracks, Craig's chest depressed, making it hard for him to breath. Instead of reacting to his words, however, Kenny just laughed, like it was all some big joke that Craig didn't understand.

"What do I want?" Spreading his arms wide, Kenny's eyes roamed Craig as if reading what little was going on in the boy's mind. "I want things to start making a little sense, don't you? Or maybe you don't care anymore." Prodding at his cheek with his tongue thoughtfully, the boy let his arms fall as he admitted, "Maybe I've just lived too many lifetimes for this to matter anymore. I'm  _jaded_ Tucker, I'm all fucked up in the brain, but I bet you know what that feels like. I don't give a  _shit_  but at least when I do, I mean it. We're a lot alike, but at least I've got my priorities in order."

Staring at the boy like he was crazy, Craig slowly shook his head, wishing that he could make Kenny shut up for once. He was perfectly capable of being empty and cold on his own. No point in dragging anyone else down too. It wasn't like he was worth anything, it wasn't like he was able to do anything for anyone else. Better to let him rot, right? "We're nothing alike," he told Kenny. As he spoke, he was suddenly seeing something else, tears glowing in the moonlight that the clouds hadn't yet covered, defeat concealed by violently shivers.

"Maybe you're right," Kenny agreed, hissing out a breath through his teeth. "Because at least I have a bit of common sense to go with my fucked up mind." Shrugging, the boy said, "I wouldn't let people control me, Fucker, I wouldn't let my mind get played with. I didn't think you'd let me do it either because of all the people in the world, you're the last person I expected to let other people tell you what to do. And yet here we are, you're a mess and I'm not going to lie and say 'I told you so' because even  _I_ didn't think it would get this far."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Craig asked, his flat voice hardening. He didn't need this, he didn't need to feel like his chest was slowly being crushed till his lungs couldn't fill with air right. He wanted Kenny to leave him alone, but he wanted things to make sense. More than anything, he wanted to forget. He wanted the past half a year to vanish from his mind entirely because at least then he might be able to feel his body again.

"You're so cute when you think you know what you're asking for, but it's not all that cute being quite so clueless," Kenny said, clicking his tongue disapprovingly. "Come on, did he cry? Did he scream? Did he do both? Did you feel like you just wanted to  _die?"_  Craig felt something akin to anger flare up but it died too quickly to tell. What it left behind, however, was something ravenous and tearing, eating what was left of the Noirette from the inside out. "Go on, say it, you fucked up, but you don't even know what you did because, in the end, you didn't do a damn thing."

"I know that!" Stripe scurried to the other end of Craig's bed as the boy stood up suddenly so he could glare down at Kenny. All the boy did was sneer up at him. Feeling that horribleness inside him flare up further, thawing the numbness in his chest at an alarming rate, Craig continued, "Tweek fucking told me, he told me that I haven't done anything." Breathing heavily, in stuttering starts and stops, Craig muttered, "I should have quit this stupid game a long time ago."

"You never should have joined," Kenny agreed, crossing his arms loosely and tilting his head to the side so he could watch Craig as he tightened his hands into fists, wishing he could hurt something. "But you did. Come on, I know what you're thinking. You joined for Tweek, didn't you? You wanted him to have a good time but let's be real here Fucker, who's laughing now?"

_I wish I could go back to when you didn't exist in my life._  Stumbling backward, away from Kenny, Craig shook his head and grit his teeth together. Tweek wasn't the only one who wished he didn't exist, Craig was pretty sure everyone would have been happier without him. He could feel the beginnings of pain echoing in the corners of his mind and he instantly wished he could go back to not feeling a thing because this was so much worse.

All he could see was Tweek crying, shoving his jacket back at him, telling him to go, to leave, to get out of his life for good because all he did was cause pain. Fuck, Craig  _knew_  that he was the one who'd made things so bad, ever since the game had started things had gotten more and more miserable. They'd brought out the best in each other but they'd also brought out the worst. And every time Craig tried to get better he found himself falling that much further, failing to do things right, watching helplessly as his life drifted from his control.

And now Kenny was standing here and he  _hated_  that the boy knew how empty and lifeless he was inside. He'd had something, but that something had been Tweek and now Tweek was gone, cleanly cut from his life like the boy had never been there at all. With a few words, the blond had separated them without even a hope of fixing it.

Hell, he still didn't know what he'd done. Even though he'd managed to get to Stark's Pond in time to hear some of Tweek's shouting, he hadn't heard any enlightening knowledge as to what would make this better. He'd been ready to just tell Tweek that they didn't have to play the game anymore and they could quit, but Tweek hadn't wanted to listen. He'd said as much. He'd wanted things to change but Craig didn't know how he was supposed to change anything. All he could see was the slow drifting apart that had occurred between himself and Tweek over the past month and it hurt.

He wanted to lie on his back with Tweek and count the stars.

He wanted to listen to Tweek talk about aliens for hours.

_Things used to make sense! It doesn't make sense anymore, it just hurts._

"Your little Tweekers used to think you were everything Craig, he would have done anything for you. And just look at you, you're fucking obsessed with him, Tucker." Sing-songing his own words, Kenny told Craig, "You'd die for him, and you'd just  _die_  if he thought you were a monster. Truth be told, you're both monsters Craig, but at least Tweeky doesn't shut himself down because of it, at least he doesn't let himself be controlled because he's afraid of himself."

"I'm not fucking afraid," Craig bit out, hating himself a little more.

"Oh but you were scared of something," Kenny insisted, grinning even though there was no joy in the expression. "You're still afraid otherwise you would have done what you've wanted to do for ages and just tell all of us to fuck off. I used to think it was funny how easily I could control you but now it's just sort of sad. You'll do anything I tell you to as long as you think even a little bit that it'll help Tweekers. You know what that is Craig, that's self-destructive, and trust me, I know all about self-destruction."

As what Kenny was saying started to sink in, Craig felt the pressure in his chest increase. "You used to  _hate_  us. You broke Cartman's nose because he pushed Tweek around a little bit, but then you went right to him and submitted yourself to his authority? You let him give you a fucking  _name,_  Craig, I might be good at leading people where I want to go but I wouldn't have been able to do half of the things I've done if you hadn't let us every. Single. Time."

He wanted to say no, he wanted to tell Kenny that he was wrong, that he was his own person and that he'd only ever done what he wanted to do, but as he thought back on it, all of the things he'd allowed himself to be pushed into, he understood. From the moment that he'd let Cartman find his own fear and push it, the moment he'd given up his own agency in this ongoing attempt to make Tweek happy, he'd already lost. The realization made him stumble back slightly away from Kenny, who almost looked like he was smiling, if it weren't for the grim yet irritated gleam in his eyes.  _I've let them tell me to do everything, haven't I?_

"Only just now getting it, aren't you?" Kenny said bitterly, his eyes drifting towards the window. "You know Tucker, I told Tweeky exactly what Cartman was doing, I warned him what was going to happen. I don't know what I expected, but I definitely didn't expect you to cave like this. You were supposed to be a wildcard, the true game inside of this whole game, but you were boring. We told you to go and you went. Sure, you had your bits of civil disobedience but it was so  _tame._  What happened to the Craig Tucker who gave me a black eye when I suggested you were adopted as a joke? Because whatever you are now, I don't know you."

"Do you think I liked it?" Craig's own words surprised him. He didn't want to talk to Kenny of all fucking people but he found himself speaking regardless as all of the things that had been building up started getting churned up by the boy's words. "Do you think I like letting you and that fatass use me like a fucking carpet? Do you think I wanted any of this?"

Pacing, rubbing at his chest as if that would help, Craig muttered, "I let you throw me into whatever battles you wanted, even when I wasn't prepared. I dealt with the consequences that your shitty decisions caused. I got shit for breaking school rules so that I could fight your stupid wars. I followed your game rules no matter what that meant. I fucking got  _married so that you people would be satisfied!"_

"And every single time, you did it for Tweek," Kenny confirmed. "Everything you did, every calculation that you made, you did it for our darling little spaz with the crazy green eyes but what have those decisions brought you?" Advancing on Craig, getting in his path so the Noirette had no chance of avoiding him, Kenny got in his face and demanded, "What has that valor cost you,  _Fucker?_  You tell us that Tweek can protect himself but you're undermining all of that so tell me, what have  _you_  let happen?"

Moving till he was almost nose to nose with Kenny, Craig barked, "I let things go to  _shit!"_  The moment he'd said it, the pressure in his chest lessened, and with it, all of the pain he'd been just barely holding back crashed over him. As his whole body started to shake like he'd drunk some of Tweek's coffee, Craig muttered again, "I kept hurting Tweek. By trying to keep him safe, I only hurt him more."

Lifting his hands, Kenny said, "And finally, he sees the light. You let us push you and pull you into whatever shape we wanted and you thought that by allowing it to happen, you could keep us from doing it to Tweek, but just look at your little Barbarian, Craig. He's stronger than you now. When he wants something done, he does it. When he's frustrated, he screams, when he's upset, he cries. These days, when something hurts him, he fights back."

Stepping away from the taller boy, Kenny finished, "So tell me, Craig, what do you want?"

"I want this fucking game to end." He said it at once, there was no thought involved. "I want you to stop fucking around with my life, I want Cartman to get fucked and I never want to hear the name Feldspar again."

"What else do you want?" the other boy goaded, his eyes narrowing. "Tell me, Craig, because I already know the answer."

"I-" Clenching his fists, Craig pushed out, "I want to break up with Bebe. Fuck the alliance, fuck the girls, I'm done with this shit." The moment he said it, it was like a veil was lifted from his eyes. All of the colors in his room that had started to look so faded brightened and the thing that had been crushing him let up.

"One more Fucker, you're missing one more."

"I want Tweek back."

Kenny smirked. "Exactly." Through the pain that he felt as the weight of everything he'd done attempted to crash down around him, Craig felt determination cut through his usual apathy. He was sick of being manipulated, he was tired of letting things happen for stupid reasons, he was going to fucking do what he wanted, fuck everyone else. Fuck Cartman and fuck the game and especially fuck Kenny who'd been the one screwing things up. "Now how are you going to get him back?"

And just like that, Craig's spirit whilted once more. Because fuck, how was he going to get Tweek to be his friend again, after what he'd done, it would be a miracle if the blond even looked at him again. Swaying slightly, Craig clenched his teeth as the emotional agony he was holding back threatened to overwhelm him. He'd heard Tweek, heard him yell that he hated Craig. That wasn't exactly a debatable way of putting it, Craig wasn't sure he could just walk over to Tweek's house and expect things to get better.

As if he could read Craig's thoughts, Kenny said, "I'll admit Craig, you've gotten yourself into a mess, but I'll let you in on a little secret, I'm tired of the game as well." Turning his flat expression on Kenny, Craig waited for the boy to continue, unsure if he should even listen to the same person who'd screwed him up so much before but unable to see another choice. "In fact, I'm so tired of the game that I'm going to make sure it's over by the weekend." Giving Craig a steady look, Kenny repeated, "I'm going to end this game in five days.

"Five days," Craig repeated, knowing there was more to it than this. "What do you want from me?" he asked, at last, stiffening his back and looking down at Kenny.

"Nothing you'll like," Kenny assured him.

"Fucking tell me," Craig bit out, his non-existent patience already gone.

Taking a breath, Kenny gave Craig an unexpectedly serious expression and said, very clearly, "I want you to play the game for five more days. If you do but you play it like you should have played it a long time ago, doing what you want to do, then this game will be over in five days."

Gritting his teeth, the Noirette tugged his chullo down in favor of arguing or outright saying no. He didn't want to wait five days, he didn't want to let this sit any longer than he had to. What he wanted to do was go after Tweek, but he knew that just running after the blond wasn't going to work. On the other hand, he wasn't sure how playing this bullshit any longer was going to do anyone any good. Formulating a response, Craig slowly said, "Do I have to keep dating and listening to Cartman and all of that shit?"

"No, in fact, I encourage you to break up with Bebe, though I'd wait for a slightly more… Advantageous time. Maybe after we've gotten the Stick?" When Craig raised his eyebrows in suspicion, Kenny gave an easy grin. "You don't even have to fight tomorrow. I know you don't want to, so don't. Heck, if there happened to be an opportunity to do so, join a different faction." Kenny chuckled. "Just do what you want. Your little coffee bean can take care of himself, but if you want to ever make nice with him, then you're going to have to put in the legwork. Not gonna lie, it's gonna suck ass, but it'll pay off."

Breathing steadily for a moment, thinking it over, Craig finally said, "McCormick, if this doesn't work, I swear, I will fucking break your nose, just like I did to Cartman."

"And if it works," Kenny said, already backing towards the window. "Then you'll do us all a favor by never letting  _this_  happen again." Yanking the window open, sticking his head out of it as if to examine his path down, Kenny continued, "It won't look the same next time Fucker, next time the stakes will be higher, the trade-offs will be more painful. The world will start to be a little bit more  _real._  But remember this, because this moment, what you're feeling right now. This doesn't change. This always sucks, no matter how many times you go through it."

Slipping out of the window, lowering himself till just his head was above the sill, Kenny waved once and said, "Au revoir motherfucker~" before disappearing out of sight.

Standing there for a moment, staring at his open window, Craig glanced down at Stripe, who was still huddled up at the bottom of his bed, his nose snuffling over the sheets as if looking for food. Leaning down, Craig picked up his guinea pig and held the small animal to his nose so he could look him in the eyes. "What do you think Stripe, do you think it'll work?"

Letting out a squeak, Stripe wiggled his front paws and softly butted up against Craig's head.

"Yeah, I think I'm crazy too, but I'm crazy for Tweek, so it'll be worth it?" Wrinkling his own nose, Craig muttered, "That sounded weird. But you know what I mean. We'll both be happy once Tweek is back."

That much, he knew for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, that was, like, almost fluff.
> 
> Also, HAHA NOW YOU SEE HOW IT ALL COMES TOGETHER. MWAHAHAHAHA
> 
> Kenny is the best and most evil character, I would put money on it tbh...


	74. Close Your Eyes And Look At The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek
> 
> (For reference, this entire chapter is indeed a flashback)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO!
> 
> First off, I'm sorry for not posting yesterday but I swear, I had an excellent reason that I will get to in a moment.
> 
> Secondly, there is art, but I will be putting it at the bottom today.
> 
> Third! *clears throat* Okay, so this is an idea I've been toying with for a long time. I've had it before when writing past fanfictions, and when reading some very good ones, but I think I'm finally ready to bring it to fruition. Let me start at the beginning.
> 
> What if we turned Semantically Challenged into an actual audio book?  
> I know it sounds crazy, but I've been doing some serious thinking about it and I think that it would work. I'm not talking about me reading it, no, I'm saying what if I got together with different readers and had different people do voices and WHAT IF WE MADE AN ACTUAL AUDIO BOOK??  
> I mean think about it, with someone doing each voice it would definitely sound different for each person and I could piece it all together to make it sound perfect. I'm not gonna lie, it would be a crazy big project, but I think it could really work, and once it was done, we'd have something that sounded really really cool.
> 
> Basically what I'm saying is, if you have an interest in participating, if you've got a microphone and you think that you can do a voice (any voice) of these characters, then say something in the comments. Though I'm not going to get my hopes up and expect a million responses if you want to, please please please indulge me~  
> If we can get this off the ground, I'm not pretending that it'll be done instantly, but I'd like to work on it, if you guys are willing to support it.
> 
> So yeah, think about it. I'll be posting something like this on Tumblr as well so more people can see it.
> 
> But enough of this.
> 
> Enjoy.

_As the end of the episode of Red Racer finished, Tweek twitched and glanced over at the clock next to the hospital bed. The moment he saw the numbers there he felt himself start to worry. “JESUS MAN!! IT’S, LIKE, SO LATE!!” Reaching for his hair, even though it pulled at his stitches painfully, the boy shivered and all but yelled, “RRR- TH-THEY’RE GONNA COME AFTER US!!”_

_“Dude, there aren’t any rats in the vents.” Leaning back against his own pillow, the bruised Noirette sighed slightly as his own stitches protested him. Though Tweek wanted to tell him how very wrong he was about that, there was something about the boy’s calm presence that was working miracles on the blonde’s psyche. They’d only been trapped in this horrible hospital for three days now, but already Tweek was discovering just how cool Craig really was. Once you got past the scary outer shell, he wasn’t that bad._

_One of the things he did best, however, was convincing Tweek that things were alright. It seemed like a stupid thing to be good at but Craig understood Tweek, could see inside the boy’s head like no one else could. Maybe it was because he was already crazy, but the other boy’s ability to see which pick-your-weird-topic was bothering Tweek was uncanny. He wasn’t quite sure he liked it yet, but he definitely didn’t_ hate _it. Especially when with a few words Craig could make most anything seem trivial._

_It was certainly the case now, because a moment later Tweek let go of his hair and stared at the other boy for a moment, still twitching but at least a little bit calmer. There’d never been anyone in his life before who hadn’t made fun of him when he freaked out or ignored him, Craig was the first. He knew better than to get used to it, Tweek highly doubted that Craig would still want to talk to them once they were out of the hospital and able to do as they pleased. But for now, Tweek got to pretend._

_Even though he would have usually kept his mouth shut, Tweek found himself fervently saying, “Ngh- Jesus man, you don’t know w-what are in the vents!! There’s all s-sorts of things! And this is a hospital! Oh god, wh-what if someone else in here has a deadly disease and we end up catching it!!!” At the idea of both him and Craig dying, Tweek clutched at the sheets and shook hard enough to make the bed tremble. Okay, sure, it made sense that he’d die but Craig couldn’t die too, that would be just crossing a line!_

_“Then we’ll die,” Craig acknowledged, shrugging like he didn’t really care. The action made him wince, and Tweek shivered at the sight. His own body was aching, but he was used to pain, so this was sort of just there. Anyway, it had been three days, he would be fine._

_Suddenly realizing what Craig had said, Tweek slammed a hand over his mouth so he could scream without making too much noise. “Jesus man, I don’t w-want to die!!” Tweek pushed out through the gaps in his fingers. That was the opposite of helpful! Now all he could think about were the different airborne diseases that were probably targeting him and Craig right now. There were far too many in Tweek’s head and as he contemplated each one he got a little more scared._

_“It’s probably not that bad,” Craig told him flatly, his eyes trained on the wall. Shivering, Tweek watched him, unable to think of how dying might be preferable to living. Of course, when he thought of his own life anything seemed to be better than continuing as he was. So maybe Craig had a point when he said dying wasn’t horrible, but Tweek still didn’t want to risk dying because what if he came back and he had to live this horrible life all over again?! That sounded like torture._

_“Do you –ghn- know what happens to us??” Tweek asked in a hushed voice, twitching and trembling. He wasn’t sure why he thought Craig knew any more than he did, but the boy’s brows were furrowed minutely like he was puzzling over the question, so Tweek kept silent. In that silence, the vents made another horrific series of groans and clicks that made the blond jump in fright. The movement aggravated his injuries and he was forced to sit still so that the pain could fade._

_Coming out of his reverie so he could give Tweek one of those even, calm looks, Craig finally said, “I don’t know.” Shivering, Tweek’s head jerked towards the vents and he bit his bottom lip as he wondered why Craig would say it wouldn’t be that bad if he didn’t even know what was going to happen to him. Though he knew better than to ask, having already discovered that Craig didn’t like to talk about personal things, Tweek’s mind inevitably tried to imagine what could be so bad that it made death look preferable._

_Sometimes Craig said things like that, things that made Tweek wonder if the boy was just talking, or actually trying to say something. Of course, he was always trying to say something; Craig was so silent most of the time that his words always carried more weight to Tweek. He chose them carefully, you could tell in the way he waited for several beats after a question had been asked before slowly answering. The blond wondered if he did that intentionally, knowing he’d be listened to if he did, or if he did it because he had a reason to watch what he said._

_Stupidly perhaps, Tweek sort of thought it was the second one. Other kids didn’t bother to watch what they said and he highly doubted that most people would bother to make a show of deliberating over what they wanted to say. So he probably had a different reason for it. The same could probably be said for the blond and his habit of blurting out the first thing that came to mind. Maybe if he’d grown up with people who were willing to listen then the mightn’t’ve acted like he did then, but even that sounded a little bit crazy._

_But that was alright because most of the things he said sounded insane. Which is why Tweek didn’t try and figure out what Craig could possibly be hiding because it was probably nothing and he was just overreacting._

_Fisting his hands in his blankets, Tweek squeaked, “Ngh- w-why wouldn’t you think dying is scary if you –rrr- don’t know what happens?!” He hadn’t meant to ask that, but at the same time, the question had been burning a hole in his chest. If he didn’t speak, the thing might eat its way out of him and kill him while still being said. He didn’t want a hole in his chest, that would be way too much pressure!! So he just spoke because Craig so far had never judged him for speaking, hadn’t ignored even his most wild of questions._

_It was a new experience, being listened to, another thing Tweek wasn’t too sure about, but was willing to give a try._

_“I dunno,” Craig said, his deep blue eyes roaming over the dark room, glowing in the light of the TV, which was now playing commercials that Tweek couldn’t be bothered to listen to. “I mean, everyone does it, so it can’t be that bad. And besides, people suck, so at least I wouldn’t have to deal with them once I was dead.” Giving a slight shrug, not enough to upset his injuries but just enough to get his point across, Craig added, “I don’t think I want to die just yet, but I’m not scared of it either.”_

_Watching the boy with wide, wondering eyes, Tweek twitched slightly before mumbling, “I g-guess I’m –ngh- notasbraveasyou!” Attention shifting in an attempt to find something other than Craig to look at, Tweek stared out the dark window of their room and reached a hand up to his hair so he could pull it. “I mean, w-what if I end up in hell man!? I can’t handle that! Or w-what if we come back and have to live all over again?? What if I end up as a bug or something!? What if there’s nothing at all and it’s just dark!! JESUS THAT’S TERRIFYING!!!”_

_“I never thought about it like that,” Craig admitted, leaning back against his pillows before huffing under his breath and sitting up once more. “I mean, I guess there’s heaven or something, and there’s hell too. I mean Jesus lives in South Park so there has to be something.” After a moment more of thought, he twisted his head to look at Tweek critically before telling him, “Whatever it is, I think you’re brave enough to handle it.”_

_As even as his words were, Tweek felt like he’d just had a glimpse of something bigger. Though he couldn’t put his finger on it, whatever it was calmed him down slightly, made him let go of his hair and stop shaking quite so much. Staring into Craig’s eyes, watching as the color’s changed in the light of the changing commercials, Tweek found himself saying, “I don’t know man, death is so –rrr- final, right? S-so once we die, everything is over! All of the stuff we have or- or all the people we know, it’s all gone after we die!”_

_Fussing with his clothing, Tweek quickly added, “Jesus man, I mean –ghn- after you die, people f-forget about you. Even if we died, everything w-would keep moving and stuff, isn’t that even a little bit scary??”_

_“I wouldn’t mind being forgotten. I don’t think there’s any reason to remember me,” Craig admitted. The way he said the words like they were second nature to him, made Tweek shiver. He knew what being forgotten was like, it wasn’t fun at all. Craig was crazy if he thought that it would be okay if no one remembered him. And how could he say something like that, as if he wanted to die right now? Almost tearing open the stitches on his hands as he jumped to yank on his hair, Tweek let out an involuntary sound of terror._

_“WHY W-WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!” he screeched before the vent let out a moan and the blond tumbled back into his pillows with a shriek._ OH god, they’re coming to kill us now for sure, this is all my fault!! I just got both Craig and me killed!!

_But Craig didn’t react to it, he just sucked in his cheeks and said, “Because I haven’t done anything worthy of being remembered yet. And anyway, who would I even want to be remembered by?” Like he needed to do something with his hands, Craig reached over for the remote to the TV and switched it off, plunging the room into darkness. For a moment, Tweek was going to panic, but then he realized that there was enough light streaming in through the window that it wasn’t even that dark._

_Struggling to pull his mind back on track, Tweek watched Craig shift till he was sitting on top of his covers. It was almost funny, usually, Tweek would have thought that Craig looked like a giant but sitting in a hospital bed that was way too big for him, he looked small. He only seemed to get smaller when he crossed his legs and kept one hand in his lap while the other reached up and tugged his chullo down over his forehead. Part of him wondered if it meant something, the rest of him insisted that it didn’t._

_Thinking over Craig’s words once more, Tweek blinked jerkily before asking, “W-what do you want to be remembered for?” For a moment, Craig just frowned and Tweek felt his mind start to race with panic._ I shouldn’t have asked that, why did I ask something so stupid!? He probably think’s I’m stupid now and he’s going to go back to never talking to me and it’s going to be terrible!!! Jesus, I don’t want things to get worse again!!

 _Then Craig’s face smoothed out and he glanced out of the window behind Tweek’s head. “I want to be an astronaut and fly into space.”_ _If Tweek had been expecting something, this definitely wasn’t it. He’d never thought of Craig as someone who had crazy goals, but at the same time, it wasn’t like he’d have known. Picturing Craig in a Space Suit, floating off through an inky void lit only by a nebula of stars, Tweek squeaked and tugged on his hair._

_Tugging on his hat again, Craig continued, “I’ve always wanted to go to space, I think it would be really cool up there.” Almost like he couldn’t stop himself once he’d started, Craig said, “There’s so much of it to be explored, some people think it goes on forever. And our solar system isn’t even that big, our sun is really small compared to other stars, so who knows what we’ll find out there.”_

_“L-like Aliens?” Tweek asked fearfully, almost able to feel the eyes on the back of his neck that accompanied his question. Shaking harder, Tweek exclaimed, “What if they caught you!? What if they tried to kill you!? Isn’t that scary?? Jesus man, you might die!”_

_“If I die, then I die,” Craig told Tweek evenly, echoing his earlier sentiments. “And if the Aliens caught me, then I’d fight them off.” Well, Tweek had to admit, if anyone was going to be able to fight extra-terrestrial life off, it would be Craig. The aliens would have to be pretty stupid to mess with him. Tweek was pretty sure that they were super intelligent, as well as wanting to control the brains of all humans on earth, so they probably wouldn’t mess with someone who could kick their asses._

_“I hope you don’t die,” Tweek said softly, drawing his own knees up to his chest. It sounded stupid to say after everything else they’d just talked about, but he felt like he had to say it. Because after everything, Tweek couldn’t help but wonder if Craig thought that no one would care if he actually died. Why he would think that, Tweek didn’t know. Craig obviously had friends, he had a sister and parents who probably would be upset if he died. He wasn’t alone like Tweek, he had people._

_Tweek knew for a fact that if he died, no one would remember. But then again, he wasn’t sure if he minded that. It was weird, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he could understand what Craig was feeling. It wasn’t that he knew_ why _the boy thought like he did, but he was pretty sure he felt the same, even if it was for different reasons. Digging his fingers into his legs only to whimper as he pressed on a bruise, Tweek stared at his feet and waited for Craig to say something._

_“If I were out in Outer Space, I think it would be worth it,” Craig said. Glancing up, Tweek found a distant expression in the boy’s eyes. It wasn’t really a change from his usual deadpan, but at the same time, because of how little emotion he showed it seemed like a drastic difference. Not many people would have been able to see it, but Tweek could tell at once, the dream-like haze that fell over Craig’s eyes. “I mean have you ever seen the stars Tweek? There are so many of them. They go on forever and we only can get glimpses of them.”_

_“I never look at the stars,” Tweek admitted in a rush, nibbling on his lip. He wanted to listen to Craig talk about them more, this new version of the boy was something Tweek didn’t want to vanish. For a moment, he thought that his words might bring Craig back down, but instead, the boy wiggled forward and stuck his legs out so he could drop off of the hospital bed. Squeaking in alarm, Tweek jerked violently and fell over onto his covers. “JESUS MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!”_

_“Come on, I want to show you something.” Craig was already moving around the room, grabbing for the chair that they kept for people visiting them and pulling it around Tweek’s bed. Watching him, his mouth hanging open slightly, Tweek flung his head around so he could keep Craig in his line of sight. Struggling a bit with the chair, no doubt trying to avoid hitting any of the injuries that Tweek had given him, Craig finally set the chair up beneath the window before lifting himself into it and carefully standing on the seat._

_Beckoning for him, Craig said, “I can’t show you if you just sit in bed.” He sounded so calm about it, but Tweek was having a hard time calming down. Get out of bed? In the middle of the night when there were monsters under the bed and ghosts in the walls and rats in the vents? He couldn’t possibly do something like that!!_

_Shaking his head hard enough that the lump on the back of it started to pound, Tweek pushed out, “N-no!! I’ll get -rrr- eaten! I don’t want to get eaten! Jesus man, that’s way too much pressure!!” Sitting on the edge of his bed, Tweek looked down before swallowing hard and shaking his head some more, twitching as he did so. The light from the window didn’t touch the floor and that made it worse because he couldn’t see what was down there. Even so, he could feel the eyes staring at him from below, all of the things ready to hurt him if he happened to get off the bed waiting patiently for him to cave._

_“I won’t let them catch you,” Craig told Tweek calmly, his words bringing Tweek’s head up. Staring at the boy, illuminated by the window, Tweek opened his mouth to argue, but all he could do was struggle to form words as Craig watched him. He looked otherworldly, Tweek thought vaguely, the thought flitting through his mind before vanishing. Maybe he’d already been to Space because he didn’t look like he belonged on this world at all._

_Tweek wondered if Craig was made of Outer Space, with his inky black hair and dark blue eyes and shining face that looked like the surface of a star in this light. If someone had told him that Craig was really just condensed stardust, he would have believed them._

_Eyes flicking down to the ground, Tweek imagined that Craig’s stardust was spread over the ground, scaring away the monsters. Like his thoughts had made it so, the glow from the window crept over the floor, revealing there to be nothing but a lightly gleaming floor. As little glittering flakes started to cover the ground, Tweek looked up again to find that Craig really was glowing now, his skin speckled with glowing points of light. His eyes especially shone, so blue and deep Tweek wondered if he could drown in them._

_When Craig once again moved his hand, insisting Tweek get out of bed, the blond bit his bottom lip and dangled his feet off the side of the bed before slipping to the floor. Letting out a soft whimper as his legs protested the action, Tweek stumbled over to the chair and scrambled to stand up on the small chair. There wasn’t much room on there for both of them, but Craig didn’t seem to mind that they ended up pressed together. No, his eyes were already on the sky outside of the hospital._

_Leaning on the windowsill, Craig lifted his hand and pressed his finger against the window, before pulling a face and quickly unlocking the thing. Accidentally letting out a squeak, Tweek almost fell off the chair as Craig unexpectedly yanked the window up so that he could more easily access the night air. Glancing down at him, as though making sure he was alright, Craig quickly turned back to the window and pointed, his hand reaching as far as it could out of the window._

_“Look up. Do you see them?” Shivering, his fear of falling out of the window almost stopping him from listening, Tweek finally steeled himself and thrust his head out of the window so he could look at what Craig was pointing at. Instantly, his mouth fell open and his twitching stopped almost completely._

_Above them, obscured slightly by their perspective but still awe-inspiring, were countless points of light, stars, stretching out across the heavens. Eyes roaming over them, Tweek could almost hear the way that Craig relaxed as he stared out the window with the blond. Turning to look at him, Tweek found that the boy’s face had softened. He wasn’t quite smiling, but he looked like he might just drift off if he could._

_Moving his hand over the stars, Craig said, “I know a few of the constellations, but not all of them.” Furrowing his brows slightly in concentration, the boy softly said, “Like that one is Ursa Major, and that one is Sagittarius, and that one is Aries…” Trailing off, he said, “We’d be able to see them better if we were outside.”_

_“It’s still s-so cool,” Tweek breathed, shivering as the night air chilled the room. Looking at the night like this, with the moon glowing in the sky and the stars surrounding it, Tweek thought he might just fall into it. He could understand why Craig liked it, there was something awe-inspiring about those celestial bodies above them. He’d never stared at the sky at night before, he was usually too busy watching the ground, but he wished he had spent more time watching the night because this was better than looking for the monsters that were after him._

_Leaning on his arms, his eyes drifting towards the horizon, Craig said, “I think that going to Outer Space would be a lot like dying.” When Tweek made a surprised sound, he shuffled his feet on the chair and said, “I mean, I’d be up there all alone, with just endless blackness surrounding me. I could get lost up there, and no one would ever be able to come after me. It would be peaceful, much better than being on earth.”_

_“I don’t think there are stars w-when you die,” Tweek said softly, his eyes on Craig._

_“No, but Token once told me that the whole universe is made of the same stuff, because of some fancy Science laws.” Craig’s flat voice sounded drifty like he was fading in and out of reality. “So if you think about it like that, we’re all made of the same stuff as stars, which means that no matter where we go there will always be some stars around.” Craning his neck so he could look at the sky once more, Craig said, “I hope I can go to space before I die. Because then, I think I’d really know what death would feel like.”_

_Chest swelling for reasons Tweek thought he’d never understand, the blond boy whispered, “You will go to space someday, -ngh- I know you will.”_

_For a moment, Craig just stared at him, his face flat yet his eyes struggling, as if he were trying to figure something out. Tweek’s hands started to go to his hair, because clearly he’d screwed something out, but he stopped when Craig’s face slowly stretched into a faint smile. “No one’s ever told me that,” he said softly, the starlight from the window mixing with the stars that seemed to be just under his skin._

_“Oh,” Tweek breathed._

_Smile vanishing, only to be replaced by a determined glint in the boy’s eyes, Craig said, “One day, I’ll go to space, and then I’ll tell you what it’s like so you’ll know what being dead feels like. Then you won’t have to be scared anymore.”_

_Even though it seemed stupid, Tweek believed him._

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like we needed this flashback. It's gentle and fluffy and I promise it's important!!
> 
> Now for the fan art!!!
> 
> The illustrious and wonderful Mianewarcher has graced us once more with her artwork from last chapter. If that wasn't enough, there's also a video of her drawing one of the pictures and god, I mean, I'd say it's magic but magic is nothing but illusions and this is one hundred percent real. The first picture is of Kenny gloating over Craig and the maniacal look on Kenny's face is chilling. I love it so much. The second is of Kenny smirking up at Craig from that moment when Craig got angry and UGH I JUST- KENNY LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD. I mean Craig is amazing but Kenny? Man, everything down to the freckles is perfect. -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/170079313870/chapter-73-semantically-challenged-by-teamalphaq<\-- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LOOK AT THIS ONE
> 
> The second drawing of the day is an amazing piece of cover art by Aprithotss. It's of Tweek surrounded by his monsters, one of which is Craig. There's so much to this drawing, I can't even begin to describe my love for it. I mean the symbolism of the fact that Tweek has learned to fear everything, including the person who was supposed to protect him, is pretty powerful, no? I guess that's why I decided to make this last chapter something pure, so that you could cry because of the symbolism. -->https://aprithotss.tumblr.com/post/170029208864/oof-i-tried-to-make-a-little-cover-for<\-- Check it out though, I'm probably going to make it the cover of my story on FF.net anyway so...
> 
> And though I want to mention more, I've got to head out for work. Again, so sorry for not posting yesterday, I was busy trying to set some stuff up~ Don't worry, we're back to our normal schedule, I won't do this again without warning you XD
> 
> Next perspective... Well, I'm sure you'll enjoy the different perspective immensely.


	75. The Final Straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clyde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY OUR BOI HE GETS HIS TIME TO SHINE!
> 
> Omg, I'm so sorry about being about three hours late in posting this, I'm a monster, I know, but I got caught up in an important planning session for the upcoming audio book~ (Which is coming along fabulously, by the way) I've gotten so much support!! I haven't gotten to all of your comments, but I'm on the way, I'll be answering every one of them this time. I just need some sleep first XD
> 
> But before we get to sleep or this new chapter, there's so so so much fan art, I can't even begin.
> 
> For once, we're going to start with someone different because SOCKSGHOST HAS DONE IT AGAIN! BROKE MY HEART AGAIN I MEAN WITH THE POWER OF SHEER BEAUTY!! Honestly, if you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to get woke (i'm sorry, I know I deserve to die for that). Seriously though, they did a beautiful piece of art of Craig standing lit in the hospital window, glowing like a star, and I'm in love. The colors, the expressions, the lighting JESUS EVERYTHING IS PERFECT!! Also, they really managed to capture the absolute innocence and yet bittersweet beauty of the scene and I feel like I've been given a gift from the heavens (though Imma be honest, I always feel like that when I get art XD ) All that aside -->http://socksghost.tumblr.com/post/170139684767/tweek-wondered-if-craig-was-made-of-outer-space<\-- fricken- ugh, just look at it, m'kay! I mean it this time!!! >.<
> 
> The second piece of amazing fanart we have for today was done by the wonderful Scribblekinq~ It's two different pieces and I'm in love with both of them, seriously. One of them is of Craig texting Bebe, telling her that he doesn't think he does a good job of protecting Tweek, and all of Tweek's monsters are surrounding him. The second is of him collared, admitting that the other kids had broken him. It's all so good and beautiful, and I really don't deserve this much love from you guys. You all make me so happy every time you send me something like this, I can't even begin to describe it. -->https://scribblekinq.tumblr.com/post/170065318149/two-doodles-of-my-favorite-moments-from-recent<\-- When I'm sad, I stare at this stuff and feel better. Thank you.
> 
> The third piece of fanart for today was done by the esteemed Colliewolf, here to fuck me up with her starry Craig naturally XD I'm kidding darling (actually, no I'm not, this stuff seriously makes me feel way too many emotions) But I love it anyway. It's so cute and I love the way she turns them into such soft creatures, like yes, I would hug. Many times. I mean, I think I can speak for everyone saying that anything comparing Craig to Space is a good thing, right? I mean it's just such adorable art of him leaning on the window sill and looking back at Tweek and YAS QUEEN THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE! -->https://colliewolf.tumblr.com/post/170154022448/tweek-wondered-if-craig-was-made-of-outer-space<\-- Look at it, I i m p l o r e you.
> 
> The fourth piece of sheer beauty that I have been given the honor of showing you is an amazing piece done by onejohnsoup. Okay, this one shouldn't have made me laugh, but Tweek's expression did me in man. That scene in chapter 71 where he yelled at Craig killed me, but I think this healed some of the hurt. I can just picture him yelling it at Craig like he's so fucking done with everything and it makes me feel better. WHAT DOES NOT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER IS SAD CRAIG WHICH THEY ALSO DREW HELP IT HURTS. I can not handle this oscillation of emotions -->https://onejohnsoup.tumblr.com/post/170055037431/chapter-71-fuck-me-up-fam<\-- hopefully, y'all will fare better.
> 
> The fifth and final piece of art for today was done by the wonderful Stopfordonuts, who is hell bent on making me cry, apparently. I really didn't need this beautiful watercolor of both Tweek and Craig on the brink of tears, but I got it anyway. It's making me tear up just looking at it, seriously, I'm always so emotional after finishing a chapter (no matter the content) and this is not the kind of thing I should be looking over in my emotionally fragile state. HELP ME P L E A S E. -->https://teamalphaq.tumblr.com/private/170075717888/tumblr_p31ya5vcp41w1i20t<\-- Look at it, you need to.
> 
> Seriously though darlings, I'm blown away by how much art I'm being given. The very fact that I have to leave some of it for the next chapter just shows how much there is.
> 
> Enough of me.
> 
> Enjoy.

_ [You didn’t have to flip her off, she's the Principal Craig.] _

**_[yes I did have to flip her off, she was fucking annoying]_ **

_ [I still think it was weird you got dressed in your costume, you’re in detention till like 5 dude] _

**_[you never know]_ **

Rolling his eyes at his friend, Clyde snorted under his breath, shaking his head as he did so. The chances that Craig was actually going to be needed, let alone needed badly enough to be broken out of detention, was slim. Ever since they’d gotten the stick back from the Elves, things had been quiet.

Well, actually, if Clyde was honest with himself, quiet was a pretty debatable term. Sure, things in game had been calm, but the rest of Clyde’s life felt like it was anything but. Currently, he was feeling more than a little stressed, which wasn’t going well. The whole game had gotten pretty dull over time, especially over the past month, and now, well, two of his closest friends weren’t even talking, which was making it all so much worse.

He still didn’t know what was going on between Tweek and Craig. It was obvious that Tweek was upset, Clyde didn’t blame him, Craig had pretty much replaced him with Bebe, but at the same time, he didn't know when it had all gotten so bad. One moment, they’d been fine, the next, neither of them wanted to be anywhere near each other. It gave him a headache, and Token’s pearls of wisdom had only done so much good.

But that was only the most recent thing stressing him out. Past that, the whole situation with Craig dating Bebe had sucked some serious ass. Running his hands through his hair, just at the thought, Clyde muttered under his breath in annoyance before pushing a smile back onto his face. He was pretty much over it by now, but it still stung. Bebe was the first girl he’d honestly had a crush on, and then Craig had started dating her and  _ kept _ dating her. If he was being honest, he was totally jealous, but he was trying to not let it get to him.

Token had said several times that it was all part of a bigger plan. If this really was a plan, then Clyde wasn’t seeing the end goal, but then, when did he ever.

Oh well, it wasn’t like it mattered now. All he had to think about now was getting to Kupa Keep so Cartman could give him yet another bullshit task and he could go about it without having to think about the rest of his life. Besides, he’d been promoted to chief armorer in the wake of getting back the stick. That was a plus, right?

He was still remembering that fight, going in with Tweek and dominating the battle, just like the Battle of Stark’s Pond. Craig hadn’t been there, but strangely enough, Tweek hadn’t been looking for him.  _ Whatever happened between them, I must have missed it. _ Sometimes, he wished he’d made friends with some more normal people so he’d just be able to ask them what was wrong, but then he thought about how awesome Tweek and Craig were, and he decided that the trade-offs were worth it.

All he hoped was that they could resolve their problems soon. He didn’t like it when either of them were upset. Though he hadn’t know Tweek as long, he’d known Craig for pretty much all of his life. He’d been there when Craig had gotten beaten black and blue by his own dad, he’d been there when the boy’s first guinea pig had died, he knew what it looked like when the Noirette was upset. It wasn’t easily noticeable, but Clyde could see it easily at this point. Maybe he wasn’t as careful about it as Token was, but he certainly did want things to get better.

As for Tweek, well, the blond spaz wore his emotions on his sleeve.

Turning into Kupa Keep, Clyde shook his head and found a real smile crawling up over his face. What a shame that both Tweek and Token weren’t going to be there today. He loved getting to see them. Though, knowing him, he’d end up at Token’s house at some time later that day, just to hang out. Contact with other people was just something he thrived off of. Sure, things were kind of bad right now, but they’d get better. Stuff always got better. He knew from experience that the only thing keeping you from living life with a smile on your face was yourself, so even if he had to cheer up both Tweek and Craig and get them to make up and put up with Bebe hanging out with them and sitting next to Craig like the good girlfriend she was, then he’d do it, just so his friends would all be happy.

“Heya Clyde!” Looking up, Clyde smiled at Butters, who was dressed in his usual Paladin blues, his rounded face split into a smile. “D’y’know if we’re doin’ anthing today?? Cause, I asked th’Grand Wizard, an’he couldn’t think of nothin’!”

Shrugging easily, Clyde said, “Your guess is as good as mine here. I suppose we’ll do whatever he asks, you know?” Looking about the mostly empty yard, Clyde decided that most everyone was probably on patrol and nodded. It made sense, Cartman didn’t really care what most people did. If you weren’t explicitly important, he just sort of ignored you. Though Clyde didn’t like it, he put up with it.

After all, there was a price to be paid with playing such an awesome game.

“You could always do things with  _ me, _ Butterfly,” Kenny cooed, swinging in from behind them so he could throw and arm around Butters’ shoulders, which made the boy turn bright pink and start sputtering. “I’m sure we could have just the bestest of times together! Just the two of us,  _ alone.” _ Rolling his eyes and Kenny’s obvious attempts to fluster Butters, which happened to work perfectly, Clyde waved it off.

“We should probably be alert, the Elves might attack.” It felt like one of those scripted answers at this point. Though Clyde didn’t like to admit it, the game had lost a lot of its shine. It used to be he was excited every day to see what new drama the fantasy world would create, but at this point, things were starting to look the same. Heck, the same would probably be more interesting than this, it was like everyone’s enthusiasm was petering out. Though the fight with the Elves had been successful, after declaring the school a game-free zone, other kids had started talking to their friends again and it was almost like the real world now had a hold, slowly drawing them away from the alure the pretend one they’d created had held.

Or maybe Clyde was reading too much into it. Really, he should let Token think about things like that. After all, the boy had a propensity for making terrifyingly accurate predictions about other people’s actions.

Pulling a pout, Kenny said, “Aww, you’re no fun Clyde. This is why no one wants to play with you.” The way he said it, with a gleam in his eyes, it pushed Clyde’s mouth down into a momentary frown, but he wiped it away a moment later.

Laughing instead, as if Kenny’s words had been a joke, Clyde walked away from the two, leaving them to do whatever it was they were doing. He could banter with them later if he so desired. For now, he had one task, organize the armory. Maybe it was monotonous, but he sort of like it. It was a whole lot less insane than some of the other things Cartman had asked him to do in his time there. And it took his mind off the rest of the game, which was a good thing.

Probably, the fact that he needed to distract himself from the game he was playing was a sign that something was amiss.

But okay, even though it wasn’t quite normal, Craig and Token and Tweek were all playing and he wasn’t going to just leave. As long as they were playing, then Clyde figured he would as well. There wasn’t exactly another option in his mind.

So he just took up residence beside his weapons and started organizing them, picturing them as real axes and swords and bows instead of just fake ones that they’d created for the game. Thinking of Tweek’s frying pan, Clyde grinned from ear to ear. The little blond boy was stronger than most anyone in the army, and unlike most people, his weapon actually dealt damage in real life. One thing was for sure, Clyde would have preferred to take on Kyle and Stan together rather than fight Tweek. He would rather keep his face intact, if it was all the same to everyone else.

As he wiped a rag over one of his wooden swords, picturing instead that he was holding a real one and he was actually polishing it instead of just pretending, Clyde let his mind wander. Usually, he would be trying to find someone,  _ anyone _ to talk to, but right now, he was fine being alone. He was doing that more and more, drawing away and secluding himself from other people. It sounded horrible when he put it like that, but he was worried that if he talked too much, he’d let something slip about how tired of this whole game he’d truly become. Then Cartman would kick him out, and he’d be alone. 

The thought alone made him irritated.

As if thinking of the boy had summoned him, Cartman walked by at that moment, munching from a bag of chips. The sound of the boy’s lips smacking made Clyde’s eyebrow ticked, but he still smiled, because why wouldn’t he? “It’s very peaceful, isn’t it Clyde,” Cartman commented, looking over him, presumably at the Elven fort. “Being in charge of the universe does come with it’s perks. Of course, power like this shouldn’t be abused, but it still feels pretty nice, doesn’t it Clyde.”

“Well, it’s nice not losing all the time,” Clyde agreed, putting down the sword in favor of one of the misshapen stop-signs that served as a battle ax. He wanted to say any number of other things, but he held his tongue. Cartman, of all people, didn’t need to know how sick of everything he was getting.  _ It’s fine, it’s just a game, I’m being silly. _ Though he did wonder if Craig was feeling the same way, considering he hadn’t played in a couple days.  _ Which makes him getting dressed up today even weirder. Whatever, he’s weird, I guess. _

Sticking another chip in his mouth, Cartman said, “Yes, it is nice winning. Thank you for that Clyde, you’ve done a wonderful job.” Coming from Cartman, it sounded hollow. Clyde much prefered Tweek’s shriek of  _ JESUS YOU’RE SO COOL!! _ Or Bebe’s soft  _ you’re one of the best players in the game. _ The boy in front of him, for all his wizard’s robes and his pompous attitude, was just an asshole. He decided to prove this, but following up his comment with, “You’re nothing like Kyle. Kyle is a dirty Jew rat Elf. We’re so totally going to beat them, we’re way cooler.”

Keeping himself from rolling his eyes, Clyde kept his face in a fairly neutral expression as he stared at the ax he had in his hands. Were the Humans really cooler than the Elves? Did it even matter anymore?  _ What am I thinking, I sound like I don’t want to play. _ So instead he just agreed with Cartman. “Obviously, we’re way better than the Drow Elves! That’s why we’re winning, because we’re awesome!” And because of Token, and because of Tweek and Craig, and because of Kenny… Certainly not because of Cartman because the boy had done literally nothing but screw things up since the beginning.

“Well, anything that’s being run by a Jew is evil, and therefore-” Whatever Cartman had been about to say was suddenly cut off, as the boy who was standing guard in the watchtower suddenly yelled, “ALARM ALARM ALARM!!”

Hand jumping for his sword on instinct, Clyde looked around, trying to figure out was going on. Stashing away his bag of chips for later, Cartman quickly called out, “Someone sounded the alarm!” like it wasn’t already apparent

“What is it?” Clyde asked quickly, looking to Butters, who was racing for them, his hand already on his hammer.

“THE ELVES ARE ATTACKING!!” Butters exclaimed, his arms flailing. “THE GUARD SAW THEM COMING!!”

“Oh my god!” Cartman exclaimed, as if this were somehow actually a big deal. “Defensive positions!!” As what humans were there in the camp quickly rushed to arms, Clyde moved around Cartman so he could get a better view of what was going on. Standing there, just outside the technical boundaries, were a group of Elves, lead by Chris Donnelly. “Stop them!” Cartman exclaimed, waving at the Humans who he could see. “Don’t let them through!” Though it wasn’t a large force, Clyde suddenly realized that they were significantly disadvantaged, considering how many people were out on watch.  _ Shit. Well, that didn’t last long. _

Throwing his head back, Chris yelled, “Give us the Stick, Humans!” As if that would get him the Stick. Though Clyde had to say, it was probably worth a shot.

“Fuck you Drow Elf!!” Cartman yelled in return, his hand tightening around his staff. “Come and get it!” Glaring at the Elves as well, Clyde tried to put as much energy as he could into looking tough. At least this wasn’t monotinous, though he felt like it wasn’t all that much better.

As Chris and his Elves started advancing, Cartman turned to Clyde and said, “Clyde, defend the Stick of Truth while we defend the fortress!”  _ Well, I guess someone has to do it. _

Nodding stoutly, Clyde clenched his fist and said, “Aye aye!” before hurring off towards the castle. 

From behind him, he heard Cartman yell after him, “Aye aye? We’re not playing  _ pirates _ Clyde.”  _ Whatever, it doesn’t matter. _ It was just Cartman blowing hot air, Clyde could ignore him. Swinging into the main tent, Clyde stood in front of the stick with his sword drawn, prepared for any Drow Elves that might come for it. Sure, it wasn’t as much action as he’d been hoping for, but it was something. And besides, he was level ten, it wasn’t like anything was getting through him.

But it sort of sucked, hearing everyone fighting out there and being stuck inside. Sometimes, though he hated to admit it, he felt like that had become the game for him. Cartman throwing other people onto the front lines, trying to make their life hard, while leaving someone like him who actually wanted to play to just do the menial tasks. He supposed he shouldn’t be complaining, but it sucked to see Craig, someone he’d brought to the game in the first place, surpass him in levels and in importance. It was little things like this that were making the game just… irritating. Another thing that made him feel like he was going crazy.

Shifting on his feet restlessly, Clyde watched through the tent flat what was going on outside of the castle. As he watched, Butters went sprawling on the ground, only for Kenny to step forward and hit the Elf over the head with his hand mirror. Gritting his teeth, keeping himself from running out and just joining, Clyde tried to hold his head high as he listened to Cartman casting a spell of some sort and several insults being hurled at him in return.  _ Even after everything, I still get relegated to babysitting a stick. This fucking blows, man. _

“W-w-well well, if it isn’t the f-f-f- the fear- The fearsome Clyde Donovan.” 

Spinning quickly at the familiar voice, Clyde lowered his sword slightly at the sight of Jimmy, only to quickly raise it again, remembering that the boy was technically an Elf now.  _ Stupid game, making me fight my friends. _ Pushing aside his gripes with the game, Clyde put on his best tough face and snarled, “What do you want, Drow Elf.”

“Do you think I w-w-w- Want to fight you??” Jimmy asked, moving into the tent, around the pillar holding the Stick of Truth. His bardic instrument was strapped over his back, which definitely made it look like he didn’t want to fight, but Clyde still kept his sword drawn. To be honest, he didn’t want to fight Jimmy, but at the same time, he wasn’t just going to let an Elf have the Stick, that would be stupid.

“C’mon,” Clyde said, frowning and tapping his sword against the ground. “That’s the game, right? You’re gonna take the Stick and it’s my job to stop you.” It sounded so stupid, why did everything in the game sound stupid now? Probably because everything had become so unbelievably petty. “I’ve got to fight you, alright?”

“That’s a decision you’re m-m-making,” Jimmy pointed out, shrugging. “In my p-personal opinion, you don’t have to d-d-d-d- You d-don’t- You have no obligations to Cartman to do anything.” Giving Clyde a grin, the boy said, “Besides, we’re friends Clyde, from b-before the war.”

“Dude, not cool, don’t play that shit with me,” Clyde whined, hating that Jimmy was so good at convincing people of things. “It’s not like I want to or anything. No one made you join the Elves, I know I asked you several times to side with us instead. You did have a choice.” Even as he said it, his arm went limp and he just let his sword hang there, unable to really bring himself to fight the boy when he didn’t even have his own weapon drawn.

“I joined the Elves because your leader is a m-m-massive d-dick,” Jimmy said, as if this point was self-evident. “I didn’t see any other op-p-p- Any other options.” Clyde knew it was true, Cartman hadn’t exactly been kind to Jimmy or his ragtag bunch of mercenaries. Kyle, on the other hand, had been accepting everyone with open arms. Was it any wonder that Jimmy had picked the Elves over the Humans?

“Jimmy, I can’t just hand you the Stick,” Clyde said at last, exasperated, mostly at himself. “I was told to defend it, I have to do that or I’ll piss off the Grand Wizard or something.” Feeling drained, emotionally, mentally and physically, Clyde lifted his sword again, but it was a half-hearted attempt. It was just everything, all of the things that had been piling on pretty much since the game had started, he was slowly being crushed under their weight. They were what made his sword arm sag, his stance to weaken, leaving his attempts at doing any protecting mostly nullified.

“Why wouldn’t you w-w-want to piss off C-Cartman?” Jimmy asked suddenly, an eyebrow raising, even as he continued to grin easily. “He’s a j-j-jaaa- He’s a totally jaaack- He’s a bastard.” Gesturing at Clyde’s sword, the boy continued, “You don’t want to fight, so why would you? That seems a little c-c-contradictory, if you ask me.”

Unsure why he was even tolerating the conversation, Clyde groaned and said, “Dude, I wish I could wipe that smug look off of his face, but I can’t just let you have the Stick. There are a lot of other Humans other than just Cartman, sure he’s an asshole, but I’d be hurting everyone else if I failed.” Even as he spoke, he found himself doubting his own words. Sure, some of the humans were alright, but currently he was upset with Craig and frustrated with Kenny and most of the other kids were just the typical brand of fourth-grade asshole that was common to South Park, but that didn’t mean that people like Tweek or Token deserved to suffer for it.

“But wouldn’t it feel good to g-g-g-get a bit of revenge?” Jimmy prodded, tilting his head slightly, expectantly. “If you’re so tired of him, then get back at him in a way that he’ll actually c-c-care about.” Though he shouldn’t have even been considering it, Clyde found the idea tempting. Suddenly a savage desire to make Cartman pay for everything ripped through him, and he found himself putting away his sword entirely, his face hardening.

Despite the anger in his blood, Clyde still said, “But what if I’m dooming the Humans?”

“D-don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get the Stick back s-s-s-soon, knowing how good some of your Humans are at sneaking around.” Reaching up and taking the Stick, stowing it beneath his cloak, Jimmy said, “This is only t-t-temporary. The Elves have to keep resisting Cartman in some small w-w-way.” Watching the boy do it, Clyde felt a little bit more of his resolve strengthen.

“You’re still a dick,” Clyde told Jimmy plainly, even as the sounds of fighting outside seemed to get more intermittent, as if it was almost over. “But you’re right, I do want to piss off Cartman.”

“Exactly,” Jimmy said, giving Clyde a wide grin. “N-now if you’ll excuse me, I have an inn to get to.” With those words, the boy hobbled out of the tent, leaving Clyde standing there, that fire of defiance still kindled in his stomach. Though he knew it was stupid, just letting the Elves have the stick, he felt like he was justified. Maybe next time, Cartman would put him on the front lines so he could actually fight for once. Fuck Cartman, he was a dick anyway.

As the sounds of Chris Donnelly yelling, “Drow Elves, fall back!! Fall back I say!!” met his ears, Clyde realized that he’d have to tell Cartman now that the Stick was gone. Suddenly, he was hit with the understanding that despite this task, he still didn’t give a shit. Things were too far gone for him to care anymore.  _ I wonder if this is what Craig feels like most of the time… _

“YES AWESOME!! Take that you asshole Elves!” Straightening his shoulders, Clyde walked out of the castle, listening as Cartman continued to yell after the retreating force. “Better luck next time! Na na na naaaa na! WE still control the Stick! Ha ha ha haaaa ha!” Walking over to him, Clyde waited with a blank face for the boy to stop making an idiot of himself.  _ Jesus, I can’t believe I’m listening to this guy? Have I really spent the last four months of my life following his instructions? _

Suddenly Clyde wondered if someone was reading his mind because he felt a chill run down his spine. From the corner of his eye, he could feel Kenny smirking, but he ignored it in favor of finally interjecting himself into the conversation. Stepping closer, attempting to put on a somber expression, Clyde clearly said, “It’s gone.”

And fuck if the look on Cartman’s face wasn’t worth all of it. Suddenly Clyde didn’t give a shit that it had taken the Humans ages to get the Stick and keep it, he would have thrown it all away again just for that look on Cartman’s face. One of pure, unadulterated, frozen joy. Stopping in his cheering, Cartman bluntly said, “What?” like he couldn’t understand what Clyde had said.

Still keeping his sorry expression, even though he felt like laughing for the first time in weeks, Clyde carefully said, “The Stick of Truth. The Elves got it.”  _ And I let them have it, because I’m sick of you and your bullshit. _ Oh he wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was going to think it for all he was worth. This was the first time he’d actually felt happy about this game in forever, and he wasn’t about to let it go. Besides, the quickly morphing horror on Cartman’s face made it all so much better. Sure the other Humans were staring at him like he was a horrible person, but Clyde didn’t care. It was so nice, not caring. Why hadn’t he tried it earlier?

Shock quickly morphing into anger, Cartman suddenly got in his face, his fists clenched and his eyes furious. “THAT WAS YOUR ONE GODDAMNED JOB, CLYDE!” The boy shouted, his face a mask of fury. Clyde leaned back slightly from the boy, trying not to get hit too powerfully with his breath, which was a horrible mix of cheetos and some chip or another. “TO GUARD THE STICK OF FUCKING TRUTH!!!”

Employing Craig’s tried and true method of not reacting, Clyde just stared at at the boy, allowing him to stew. It was satisfying to watch, the absolute anger on his face made it so much better. Finally, Cartman turned away, jerking his head around as he looked at the ground, as if trying to figure out what to do. Clyde half expected Kenny to jump in and calm him down, but the Princess seemed very content to just watch, a grin slowly covering his face.

Maybe that should have been his first indication that something was amiss.

“Clyde…” Cartman started, drawing a deep breath as if he was about to shout again. “You are hereby  _ banished _ from space and time!”

For a moment, Clyde just stared at Cartman, unable to fully comprehend his words.  _ What…? _ As his smugness crumpled, Clyde furrowed his brows in anger and exclaimed, “What? NO!” Looking from Cartman to Kenny, who was bent over in silent laughter, to Butters, who looked genuinely upset, to the rest of the Humans, who were all glaring at him, Clyde felt something in him erode away completely, one of the ties that had been holding him back snapping like so much frayed rope. “You can’t do that!” he protested, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“Yeah, I can!” Cartman told him, waving his staff at him like he wanted to hit him but didn’t think he could get away with it. “You’re banished and lost in space and time!”  _ But that means I can’t play the game anymore! _ Something else in him broke, severing him from his patience that much more.

“Yeah, go home Clyde!” Butters insisted, his usually kind face screwed up into a glare.

Looking at the rest of the Humans, waiting for someone,  _ anyone, _ to say something, Clyde just sort of snapped. After everything he’d been through, after everything he’d done for this stupid game, after everything he’d given up, the very moment he tried to take some sort of justice for himself, he’d been thrown away like so much waste. Swaying on his feet for a second, Clyde pressed his lips together before spinning on his heels, storming towards Cartman’s gate. 

_ Fine then. I’m done with this bullshit. _

The moment he was in the front of Cartman’s house, Clyde gritted his teeth and broke into a run. The further away from Kupa Keep he got, the more his anger at all of this injustice started to rise up. He was sick to death of pretending to be happy and letting the other boys run over him! He was sick to death of letting Cartman do what he wanted.

But it was more than that! As all of the mental blocks he’d put in place to keep himself from getting too angry about any one thing crumbled away, Craig found other things bubbling to his mind, making the malicious anger in the pit of his stomach grow. Because it wasn’t just Cartman, it was everything! He was sick to death of bad things happening to him or his friends and people trying to pass it off as all part of a bigger plan! He was sick of alliances and the people who pretended to give a shit about them. Hell, he never wanted to  _ think _ about making another deal that ended in him getting trampled.

As he raced towards his house, towards his own castle, Clyde felt his ire grip his heart and squeeze it painfully.  _ I’m sick of this! I’m not going to put up with this any longer! I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!!! _ He was tired of Token telling him that everything was going to turn out fine because the boy had been saying that for the past month and a half and so far, nothing had gotten better. He was  _ pissed _ at Craig for stealing Bebe when he didn’t even want to date the girl, and speaking of Craig, he wanted nothing more than to scream at him for the shit that he’d been putting Clyde, himself, and Tweek through. _ It’s all just bullshit!! _

Racing for his own fortress, which was fucking awesome compared to the other castles, screw anyone who said otherwise, Clyde started scaling, trying to escape his anger but only feeling it grow to be an all consuming force the higher he went. If he had to deal with any more politics or annoying people, he was going to scream. They’d started this game so they could have fun, not so they could make each other miserable!! He didn’t want to play a game where they only hurt each other, if that’s how it was going to go then  _ fuck them. _ He’d start his own faction! One that was better than the other factions because it was actually a fun thing to be a part of, a faction that would let him and whoever else was part of it get back at Cartman and Kyle and all of the other assholes that had made everything hell for the past four months.

While his various levels passed by, as he raised the gate and raced towards his throne room, Clyde felt everything bubbling in his chest start rising up his throat, needing to get out. It wasn’t fair that he had to be happy when everything was so shitty. It wasn’t fair that everyone else had gotten their chance to shine and had been given it, but he’d had to break formation and take the glory for himself and even then he wasn’t noticed. All he’d wanted was to have fun! Now he’d been thrown out of the Human faction for bullshit reasons and banished from space and time to boot. Well guess what?? He didn’t care! He was done caring!

Bursting out onto his throne room floor, Clyde shed his helmet and cape so he could run towards the balcony that faced the other two castles. Gripping the railing, Clyde leaned out over the steep drop and yelled at the top of his lungs, “FUCK THE HUMANS!!!” With a growl, the boy shook his head and added, “AND FUCK THE ELVES TOO!! FUCK CARTMAN AND KYLE AND THEIR STUPID FEUD AND THEIR STUPID RULES!!”

Drawing his sword, Clyde raised it and thrust it at the sky as he hollered, “WELL I’M DONE PLAYING BY THEIR RULES. THEY FUCKED WITH MY FRIENDS, THEY TOOK AWAY MY CHANCES OF DATING THE GIRL I LIKED, AND THEY FUCKED WITH ME!! FUCK THEM AND ALL THEIR BULLSHIT!!!”

Throwing his head around, Clyde let his eyes land on the spiky chandelier he hadn’t hung up yet. Storming over to it, he wrenched free the top circle of spikes from their weak brackets. Shoving the thing on his head, Clyde stormed back over to the railing and screamed at the top of his lungs, “I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE. I’M GOING TO START MY OWN FACTION, AND I’M GOING TO DESTROY BOTH OF YOUR FACTIONS, EVEN IF I HAVE TO DO IT ON MY OWN!!!”

Fuck anyone who told him otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you see how it all began.
> 
> If you couldn't tell, I'm leaving out the new kid for now. I might never add him, considering how difficult it is to have a character around that is basically an all powerful OC. I'm sorry, but I don't do well with OP characters XD
> 
> Because it probably won't be till later tomorrow till I manage to get to everyone's comments on the last chapter, I'm going to put the important information here that everyone who's participating in the audio book needs to know. I'm setting up auditions currently, and I'm trying to work around everyone's schedules + have each audition include more than one person at a time. The current dates I have are Tuesday 8:00pm (EST) and Wednesday 2:00pm - 3:00pm (EST), but I'm pretty much free to schedule a time whenever.
> 
> If you want to reach me (and know I'll reply quickly XD (I'm honestly horrible with the comments, I feel like a monster)) the email I'm using for this is teamalphaq1210@gmail.com and my tumblr (if you'd prefer to use that) is Teamalphaq. I check both often, so whichever you use will be fine. Again, I'm here to work around your schedules, so don't hesitate to be as picky as you want XD
> 
> Now, I'm off to bed. I'm a very sleepy author, it's late here. Mama Telesthesia can tell you that I'm being bad and staying up too late XD XD


	76. For My Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Butters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional note: After waking up and rereading what I had posted at the ungodly hour of 4:00am, I realize that I, in fact, gave you a pile of garbage. I apologize. As your surrogate parent, and as someone who genuinely hopes to bring something new to this fandom, I failed you.
> 
> From here on out, I promise that I won't make you suffer through sleep deprived chapters such as this again. 
> 
> If you have the time to read through it a second time, I have edited and rewritten this chapter, mostly at the beginning but kind of all the way through as well. I hope that this time, it'll be better.
> 
> Enjoy~
> 
> Original A/N: OUR BOY, BUTTERS OUR BOY IT'S FINALLY YOUR TURN TO SHINE~ or at least give some perspective XD
> 
> I'm going to be honest, I was falling asleep while writing this so if it doesn't make any sense, I'm horribly sorry. I'll probably be going back and rewriting the end of it tomorrow XD
> 
> There's so much fan art, but I can't keep my eyes open, so I'm merely going to drop one piece on you at the moment. Mianewarcher did an amazing and magical set of drawings, one from chapter 74 of Tweek and Craig looking at the stars, and three of chapter 75. One of them is of Clyde cleaning his swords, and it looks fricken awesome. The second is of everyone's favorite Bard, Jimmy, holding the stick and being cool. The third is of Clyde at the top of his fortress, yelling about how much everyone sucks and flipping off the human kingdom. Honestly tho, I can relate. All of these pictures are beyond amazing, so you really must check them out. Her art is so good, I can hardly comprehend it. -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/170193941155/upacreekwithcraigandtweek-semantically<\-- Just give it a look~
> 
> As for pertinent information for the Audio book/auditions, we've got auditions planned all this next week, but they can start as earlier as later today (oh geez, I stayed up too late). I've been talking to y'all quite a bit, and I'm very excited for how this is going to turn out!! I'm still working through the comments about it but don't worry, I'm not giving up on it XD
> 
> Now~
> 
> Enjoy.

Kenny was pretty.

Not in a girlish sense, or even in a masculine sense either. Some things, like Kenny, transcended these narrow ways that beauty could be viewed and became something else. Something  _innately_ beautiful that didn't need to be defined by attraction and instead could be called beautiful without it carrying any sort of connotations. 

That was Kenny in a nutshell, or at least, that was Kenny to Butters.

This was actually something the happy boy thought about a lot even though he probably shouldn't, kind of like someone might stare at a sunrise and think _wow, that might leave me blind, but I want to watch it forever._ He really did try not to dwell on it, because he had a feeling that Kenny might find it weird to know how much Butters thought about the roguish boy, but despite his best efforts, it was still a thing that took up a lot of the boy's mental space. Of course he could have obfuscated the matter by pointing out that he spent a lot of time thinking about his friends in general, but whenever Kenny cropped up into the picture, Butters found that he’d end up dwelling on the boy in general and eventually, those thoughts would travel to how the boy looked.

With his sandy blond hair, those freckles that dotted his cheeks, and his beautifully bright, blue eyes, he looked sort of like an angel. Maybe a fallen, mischievous angel, but still angelic all the same. Now, it wasn’t actually a weird thing for Butters to compare his friends to other things. Like Stan was a German Shepard puppy, and Kyle was like a firecracker, and Cartman was a grumpy garden gnome. Those were all fairly ordinary things though, so even when Butters was attempting to be particularly dense when it came to his own thoughts, he could admit there was a rather large difference between lawn ornaments and holy beings. He would never have said any of it out loud, because it seemed a little embarrassing to just say that he thought Kenny was an angel, but he still thought it privately.

Right now of course, Butters was more easily able to categorize what his friend looked like. In his current incarnation, Kenny looked like a princess. His golden blond wig was flying out behind him in a wave of rippling hair and his dress fluttered and glittered with every move he made, making it rather hard to call him anything but royalty. Butters thought he made a wonderful girl, though he thought that Kenny's version of beautiful meant that he looked just as good as a boy. He would have been pretty no matter what he was wearing, so perhaps it didn't really matter.

Still, it wasn’t every guy who could manage to pull off outrageous makeup and pink crinoline with such dignity and pride.

He had always sort of thought that Kenny was beautiful, since he’d met the boy in fact. It had been all the way back when Cartman and Stan and Kyle had tried to use Butters as the sandy-blond’s replacement that Butters had first encountered Kenny. At the time, when he'd been attempting to fill that hole in the group of friends, Butters hadn’t realized who he was replacing, not entirely. The only reason he’d signed up for the task at all was because he figured it would be nice to have some friends plus it seemed like the other boys needed a friend that could make the loss of their old one more manageable. Eventually, Butters had been forced to accept that it wasn't that easy to make people feel better, and things had started to get complicated, but then Kenny had reappeared and things had gone back to normal.

And Butters had gotten to stick around.

The first time he’d met Kenny, the boy had instantly singled him out, winked at him, and told him he had pretty eyes. To this day, Butters wasn’t too sure if Kenny had been making that part up, but it had still made him blush and squirm to have an angel tell him he was beautiful. Perhaps his reaction had been wrong, but it hadn’t mattered that they’d been in second grade at the time and things had sort of just happened naturally from there. As time went on, Butters quickly learned that Kenny acted flirtatious with everyone and didn't seem to be putting on a special show for the naive blond, which had caused similar incidents to fade into the background because Butters figured it was normal for Kenny, but that first memory, that singular compliment had stuck with him.

Maybe this was because Kenny was special. Of course, Butters firmly believed that everyone was special in their own way, and even the worst person was really a wonderful human once you dug deep enough, but Kenny didn't fit this description. He was the exception to Butters' world view, and that made him stand out as an anomaly. Because no matter how much digging Butters had done, he'd never been able to find something truly good in Kenny, but he'd also never been able to find something truly bad. The negatives and the positives were sort of all mixed together into a wolfish grin and lively eyes. For someone who preferred the lighter side of the world, Butters liked it, because it meant that he didn't have to be upset over anything Kenny did since nothing he did was ever entirely bad

Another thing that Butters had noticed was that while other people had a tendency of doing things without reason, which lead to some some truly heinous mistakes, that was never the case with Kenny. Though Butters probably would never fully comprehended the boy’s schemes and plans, he knew that they were so tightly woven into the way the boy acted and existed that nothing Kenny did was without meaning. Everything he did had a purpose, every word carried weight. Even when Butters sat alone in his room with Kenny and they just talked loosely, he found that Kenny didn’t chatter, he _connected_ , whatever that was ultimately supposed to mean.

The Paladin wasn’t too sure himself, but he was alright with that.

Right now, for example, was one of those times Butters didn’t fully understand what Kenny was doing. From what he could tell, Cartman and Kenny were disagreeing about Clyde's banishment. Butters didn’t know why the conversation was happening at all, because Kenny had supported the matter in the first place, if only with his silence, but he assumed that Kenny had a good reason for it. Because he always did, and Butters had never been given a reason to doubt him

“Did you _have_ to banish him??” Kenny was asking again, his words nothing short of musical even though he was complaining. "I mean,  _really."_

“Yes, I did have to banish him Princess Kenny,” Cartman informed the boy impatiently, his frustration from before still covering his face. It was obvious that he still hadn't gotten over the fact that the Stick had been stolen, though the naive blond supposed he didn't blame him. It wasn't exactly something you just shook off. Despite his own rational of the tension, Butters kept looking between the two of them worriedly, disliking the argument that was brewing between them. Sometimes, Kenny’s habit of muddying everything with all those details and shades of gray was stressful, but he supposed the boy meant well, so he didn't try and stop him.

Butters couldn’t imagine that Kenny would actually be able to do something with pure malicious intent. After all, the boy was unflaggingly kind when it came to Butters, even with the small things. Sure some people might have said that Kenny was devious, but really, the boy was just trying to make sure that everyone got the happy ending they deserved. He might have gone about it in weird ways more often than not, but it worked out in the end, so Kenny definitely knew what he was doing. Butters wouldn't have even pretended to know how to move people like Kenny did, so he was willing to trust him.

Huffing out a breath in a very lady-like way, the action making the piece of purple gauze over his mouth flutter, Kenny planted a hand on his hip and insisted, “I mean don’t you think that’s a bit much, oh Grand Wizard? It’s so _very_ unfair.” _He's right, isn't he. It was really unfair to do something like that to Clyde._ Even though Butters had supported Clyde getting kicked out, he wasn’t sure if he liked it. After all, it seemed a little mean for them to throw the brunett out for something so small.

“No, it’s totally fair, Clyde is a loser, and he lost the Stick, so he deserves to be banished.” Crossing his arms, Cartman lifted his chin defiantly, which made Kenny sigh in exasperation and turn to Butters, who was already staring at him.

Lifting up his eyebrows, clearly looking for support from the naive blond, Kenny glanced back at Cartman for a moment with a frown. “Well Grand Wizard, I think it was a little heavy handed.” Fluffing out his dress, Kenny fixed those sparkling sky blue eyes on Butters once more. “Wouldn’t you say, Butters the Merciful?? Don’t you think it was mean to do that to Clyde??” Remembering the brunet’s shocked and hurt face once again, Butters felt guilt creeping up on his insides.

But he couldn't just say that because Cartman was staring at him intently, a scowl on his face. Nervous, Butters quickly piped up, “Uh I- I dunno, M’lady~ I mean, he did sorta lose th’Stick an’ all!” Fiddling with his hammer as he spoke, hoping that Kenny wasn’t disappointed with his answer, Butters added, “B-but I think we coulda been a bit nicer to ‘im.”

Goaning, Cartman dragged a hand over his face and said, “Whatever, we have a bigger problem right now to worry about.” Hiding what Butters assumed was a grin behind a dainty hand, Kenny floated over to him and leaned on him, resting his forearms on the boy’s shoulder so he could use him as a convenient prop. Though he really should have been used to this by now, Butters still let out a squeak and turned red.

Kenny somehow made all physical contact actually _meaningful._ Like how his words were never extraneous, neither were his actions without purpose. Of course Butters could have been totally wrong, but if he wasn’t then Kenny's habit of touching him meant something. Except that left him with the fact that he had no idea what Kenny’s tendency to find excuses for physical contact with him could mean. But maybe it just was one of those things that made Kenny feel better, like how Butters rubbed his knuckles together when he felt self-conscious. If that was the case, then Butters wasn’t about to tell Kenny to stop, because that wouldn’t be what a good friend would do.

“And what, pray tell, is that bigger problem?” Kenny prompted, the hair of his wig tickling the side of Butter’s face. When Butters absently swatted at it to keep it from getting in his mouth, the Princess giggled. Shifting so he was instead leaning on the shorter boy’s head, Kenny said, “Because as I see it, the fact you just kicked out one of our best players is a pretty big issue, wouldn’t you say?”

“Princess, the Stick of Truth has been _stolen,”_ Cartman pointed out, looking around at the rest of the boys who were all listening intently to his words. Noticing that he was gathering an audience, Cartman stepped out into the middle of his yard, smacking his staff on the ground to help him command authority. Puffing out his chest, the Wizard continued, “We must assemble our entire army to get it back!”

At Cartman’s words, Butters quickly looked around and counted the people they had. Though he knew the Humans were capable of anything if they worked together, they really didn’t have that many people. It would be hard to get the Stick back with only the kids they had here, plus, Butters was only just now realizing the fact that several familiar faces were missing from their ranks. Quickly piping up, the Paladin exclaimed, “B-but our three best warriors still haven’t reported for duty, my King!”

Looking about, clearly exasperated when he found that Butters was indeed correct, Cartman said, “Well then, that looks like something that you can take care of Butters.” Pulling out his phone, the boy continued, “I want you to go out into the lands of Zaron and find our three greatest Warriors, Token Tweek and Feldspar, and tell them that it’s urgent. Because clearly, keeping Kyle from getting his dirty Jew hands all over my Stick is _very_ important.”

From above Butters, Kenny snickered and said softly, at a volume that only the shorter blond could hear, “Nah, he wouldn’t be putting his hands anywhere near _your_ stick, we all know he’d much rather put them on Stan’s wood.” _Wait, did Kenny just-_ Letting out a sound of surprise, Butters turned bright red and squirmed under Kenny, which only made the boy giggle girlishly.

“P-princess~” Butters protested, covering his face as he tried to forget Kenny’s dirty joke. The boy had a terrible habit of making them, and unfortunately, he also liked to explain them to Butters in great detail when he didn’t get them.

Entirely ignoring both of them, Cartman turned to the rest of the boys and said, “Beware, the Elves will no doubt be extremely irritating, now that they think they’re hot shit for getting the Stick. If we’re not careful, this crisis could get worse. Keep that in mind, we can’t let the High Jew Elf beat us.”

“Can I go with Paladin Butters??” Kenny trilled, finally moving off of Butters so he could float over towards Cartman. Clasping his hands under his chin, the Princess said, “It would be safer after all, there are sixth graders out there.” _Well, at least it would be more fun with Kenny around. I like when he’s around!_

“Very well,” Cartman agreed, waving his hand to shoo them away. Butters couldn’t help but grin happily at that, glad that he’d be allowed to have someone accompany him. “You know what’s required of you. Begone! Make haste. I have many things to do.” Smiling happily, Kenny swept back towards Butters, catching the boy’s arm with his as he went.

“Come along Butterfree, we have many things to do~” Kenny said happily, pulling them both out of the gate and towards the sidewalk before Butters could protest. Not that he would have. Despite Kenny’s habit of embarrassing him, Butters liked having him around too much to ever say otherwise. Besides, the smile that Kenny got on his face when they were together would have made pretty much anything worth it.

Kenny had a nice smile after all. Not those evil grins, which even Butters could admit looked a little sinister, but a real, happy smile. It wasn’t often that they boy showed it, which made Butters a little sad because he could imagine why Kenny might not have many reasons to smile, but when he did, it made Butters feel light and happy inside. He always got dimples in his freckled cheeks, and the shadows in his eyes lifted, revealing their true luminescent blue. Every time he saw it, Butters felt like the sun had truly come out from behind the clouds, and he was pretty sure that if Kenny was able to make that face, then he was just as happy.

Letting Kenny pull him along, the boy's dress swirling around his ankles and almost getting tangled in the Paladin's feet, Butters listened as the Princess said, “You know Butterscotch, I think that someday Cartman is actually going to come up with a game that doesn’t involve injuring other people. I know, it's a novel idea, but I think he might actually make it someday.” _Huh, what's that supposed to mean?_ Blinking at Kenny's words, Butters turned to look at boy, only to earn a playful laugh in return. “He just really doesn’t do a good job of it, no?"

“Well I think this is a great game!” Butters exclaimed, smiling brightly. "At least Eric's tryin' t'make it fun an' all!!"

Tutting softly, Kenny lifted his free hand and touched a bruise that was forming on Butter’s head where an Elf had managed to hit him. “Well he might be trying but I don’t like when his trying ends in things like _this,_ Buttercream. I don’t like it when it leads to real bumps and bruises. It worries me.” _I make Kenny worry?_ Feeling guilty for doing something like that, Butters quickly shook his head, distracting the boy from the bruise on his forehead.

“No, I think it’s jus’ how it all works out, y’know?” As he thought back on all of the awesome things he’d been able to do with all of the other kids, Butters continued, “I mean, I don’t necessarily like hurtin’ people or nothin’, or gettin' hurt either, b-but it’s so much fun gettin’ to spend time with you an’ Eric!” _It’s too bad that Stan and Kyle are on the other team. I don’t really like fighting with them. But I guess it’s not a real fight because it’s just a_   _game!_ "So in th'end, it's all worth it, right?"

Holding one of his hands to his mouth, his eyes shining, Kenny suddenly burbled, “Oh Butterfly, you’re so wonderful and pure, what did this world ever do to deserve someone as wonderful as you~” Blushing as he always did when Kenny showered compliments on him, Butters rubbed his knuckles together and mumbled something about how _it was nothing really_. Humming, hardly seeming to care that he'd flustered Butters, the Princess continued, “But you have a point, I suppose it has been a good game. Though I don’t expect it to go on forever.”

“Well, how will we know it’s over?” Butters asked, his eyes traveling over the flowers that were only just starting to pop up in people’s yards, a testament he realized to how long the game had stretched for. Of course, the flowers would probably die soon once the next snowfall game, but it still made Butters happy. With the sun out and the grass green, the world looked so beautiful that the blond couldn’t help but smile. Seeing a particularly big and lively daffodil on the side of the path, Butters let go of Kenny’s arm for a moment so he could crouch down and carefully trace the petals. “I mean, couldn’t th’game go on forever?”

“No, I’m sure that someone will win. That or we’ll most definitely know who the winner is. Though honestly, I think the Humans are pretty much fucked at this point...” As Kenny passed him, Butters quickly apologized to the flower as he picked it before carrying it over to the Princess.

Kneeling before the Princess and bowing his head, Butters held out the flower and said, “For you M’lady~ It’s a good luck charm, I think! We’re _definitely_ going to win this game, an’ then maybe we can come up with somethin’ different, that ain't so dangerous an’ stuff!” Staring at Butters, the smile on his face fading into something soft, Kenny pushed himself into movement and took the flower, carefully tucking it behind his ear, where it stayed, the stem blending into his wig.

Grabbing for Butter’s hand and pulling him to his feet, Kenny dropped his Princess voice for a moment as he sincerely said, “Butters, I promise you that if we play another game like this, it will be better. And I promise that I won’t let this game we’re playing now hurt you. Ever.” As if he’d never said anything at all, Kenny slipped back into his character once more as he giggled and tugged Butters along once more, calling as he did so, “Now hurry! We have to get Token so that he can help our wonderful Wizard plan our next moves~”

Hurrying to keep up with Kenny, Butters stared wide-eyed at the boy’s back as he tried to work out what that was supposed to mean. It wasn’t as if the game had horribly hurt him before, he couldn’t think of anything that would come up that would end in him getting injured. But at the same time, he was happy that Kenny agreed with him in finding a new game that didn’t involve so much meanness.

After all, Butters didn’t like being mean. He could still recall the days after Cartman and his friends had first tried to get rid of him and what had happened as a result and he didn’t want to go back to that. Not if he could help it,

Though if it did happen, at least Kenny would be around this time. So maybe things wouldn’t go badly at all.

Thinking of the people they were going to find, a sudden thought struck Butters and he wondered aloud, “I wonder why Feldspar hasn’t been playin’ much recently.” He’d noticed the lack of tall, silent Noirette, and it had made him curious. Ever since the game had started, Craig had played faithfully, hardly ever missing anything, but all of a sudden, he’d gone quiet. And now Tweek wasn’t there either, which made Butters a little worried. He would hate it if something happened to either of them. They were such good people after all, even if Tweek was a little off putting and Craig could be scary.

“Perhaps he’s having trouble with his girlfriend,” Kenny suggested easily, waving his gloved hand dismissively, as if the matter wasn’t important. "After all, girls can be so finicky, and trust me, I would know. Maybe Tucker's just upset Bebe or something."

Frowning at that, Butters thought about the whole arranged marriage and felt a little bubble of disquiet rise in his gut. Though he’d never expressed it verbally, he’d never been quite clear on why it had been Craig of all people who’d had to marry a girl. There were plenty of other guys in the Human faction who’d have been able to do much better at the job of maintaining a marriage of peace, Craig just seemed sort of random. Of course, maybe Butters was imagining things, but he didn’t think he was.

Which is why he told Kenny, “I don’t think Craig much likes his girlfriend.” Feeling self-conscious when Kenny turned a keen eye on him, Butters quickly continued, “I mean, jus’ look at them! Craig doesn’t seem all too happy about it, an’ Bebe’s doing that thing girls do when they’re pretendin’ to be happy but they aren't. I don’t think they’re a good couple at all!” Rubbing his knuckles together, he quickly added, “But that’s just my opinion an’ all…”

Curiously, an odd note in his voice, Kenny asked, “What do you think would make Craig happy, Butterfree?” Looking up at Kenny with wide eyes, a little surprised that he’d believed him at all, Butters quickly tried to order his nebulous thoughts in an attempt to put together a coherent list of things that would make the Noirette happier. He didn’t really know Craig, but he still could guess. After all, he’d been talking to the boy for a while now. And really, he was sort of obvious when it came to how he acted.

“I think Bebe an’im should break up,” Butters answered stoutly, lifting his chin in an attempt to sound confident in his own words. “B-but I don’t think that’s the only thin’ that would make ‘im feel better, y’know!” Growing more certainty as he continued, the blond boy said, “I really really think that he and Tweek are in love, an’ if they got together then they’d be happiest!”

“They are rather close, aren’t they,” Kenny agreed vaguely, as if he were trying to see it himself.

Quick to defend his idea, Buters said, “Yeah! They’re really close an’ stuff. They’re always holdin’ hands and now that Craig’s gone, Tweek’s gone too! If they didn’t like each other, that wouldn’t make sense.” Smiling as he remembered all of the little things he’d gotten to see over the time of playing the fantasy game with the two boys, Butters said, “Haven’t you seen’em? I think they’re really cute, even though they’d probably get a lot of heck for doin’ somethin’ like that. But you can tell they really like each other, and that’s why Craig’s upset, because he’s datin’ someone he’s not even interested in!”

Putting his head down, as though hiding his smile, Kenny said, “You know what Butters, I think you might be right. Though you’re suggesting that Craig break up with Bebe. What if they really do like each other? Craig might just be sadder if he broke up with her.”

Puffing out his cheeks, Butters made a discontented sound and said, “I jus’ want everyone t’be happy! An’ I really think that Tweek would make Craig happier.” Sticking out his bottom lip firmly, Butters said, “Shouldn’t you follow your heart if it’s tellin’ you something like that? I really think you should.”

“But how does someone know when their heart is talking to them?” Kenny asked, gesturing with all of his usual grandeur. “Is it all up here?” He tapped his own head several times. “Or is it in _there.”_ Feeling his chest warm up where Kenny tapped it, Butters shrugged, unable to completely answer Kenny’s question considering he’d never been in love.

“Ah- well, I’d assume they’d be followin’ somethin’, and if not their heart, then what?” Butters finally mumbled, looking at the melting snow as they crossed the street that would put them on Token’s block. “After all, they keep gettin’ closer as far as I can tell. Up until recently that is. I really hope they’re okay.”

“Don’t worry Butterball, we’ll find them and then once they’re all together, they can talk.” Smiling at Kenny’s plan, Butters didn’t even bat an eye as the boy latched onto his arm once more, his satin and lace trailing over the shorter boy’s exposed skin. “Then if they’re fighting they can make up and be friends again.”

Liking the sound of that, Butters grinned from ear to ear and exclaimed, “I hope they feel better after that!!” As his idea of Tweek and Craig’s reunion played out in his head, the way Craig’s eyes would soften and the way Tweek would hug the Noirette like if he let go, the boy would vanish, Butters felt a mixture of joy and acute sadness. Naturally, it would be wonderful for them to be talking again, if they were indeed fighting as he suspected, but it was more than that. There was something _hopeful_ about seeing the two of them take on life together, and beat it back while still finding the time to be happy. Butters wanted to be like that, even though he knew he’d never be able to make it.

Though Butters didn’t want to complain, because really, his life wasn’t all _that_ bad, he did wish he could find something like what Tweek and Craig had found in each other. A friend close enough that he could tell them anything without feeling like he was being a bother, and someone he could face any challenge with and not fear a thing. He was happy that Tweek had a friend in Craig, and Craig in Tweek, and he wasn’t going to let his own problems diminish his happiness for them, but he doubted that he’d ever have something like that with someone else. There was just too much there under the proverbial rug for something like that to happen.

So, he supposed that he’d just take what he could get and not think about it too hard.

“Hey, Butterfly, has your heart ever told you anything?”

At the sound of Kenny’s voice, Butters startled out of his thoughts. Looking up at the boy in surprise, Butters found his heart fluttering before he quickly pushed the feeling away and made a smile brighten his face. “Oh, my heart tells me stuff all the time, y’know?” He tried to make it sound as inconsequential as possible. “I mean, I’m not always the smartest or anthin’, b-but my heart usually knows what it’s talkin’ about, so I listen it!” Rubbing the back of his head, Butters tried for a laugh and added, “It doesn’t always lead me right or nothin’, but I think I does a fine job~”

Of course, those times that it decided to act up were the ones that left him hurting the most, but he’d gotten pretty good at ignoring them. After all, he wasn’t _that_ stupid, no matter what he might’ve said to the contrary. He knew how life worked, no matter how sad it could make him, and he knew that he chose to be happy regardless. So, in the end, it didn’t really matter, right?

“You know, I always thought that all my heart could tell me was when I was falling in love,” Kenny commented absently, his eyes clouding slightly, almost sad in their softness. “But sometimes I wonder if my heart is able to tell me anything at all.” Shaking the words away, as if only just now realizing how melancholy they were, Kenny laughed and asked, “What do you think, Butterscotch? Do you think your heart will tell you when you fall in love?”

For a second, Butters almost didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to, or if he trusted his own mouth to open it, but Kenny was smiling at him, and he didn’t want that sadness to return to those bright blue eyes, not if he could help it. So instead of staying silent, he nodded firmly, and brightly answered, “Especially then! That’s what your heart is for, right?”

Kenny just stared at him, his gaze so far away, and yet so _there,_ it was almost terrifying. Suddenly, Butters was seized by the desire to hug Kenny. Stopping abruptly, Butters surprised the taller, glittering boy as he wrapped his arms around Kenny’s torso, inadvertently getting himself tangled in the boy’s dress. Fiercely, even though he didn’t know what was going through Kenny’s mind, Butters said, “Don’t worry, your heart isn’t stupid or nothin’, so when y’find th’ perfect person, it’ll tell you quick!”

He wished the words didn’t have to hurt to say.

Voice sounding oddly thick, Kenny said, “I think you’re right Butters, about the heart _knowing._ I really think you’re right.” Finally hugging him back, the boy added, “I just hope I can hear my heart when it happens, because if you’re right, then it would probably hurt more if I ignored it.”

Though he didn’t say it aloud, Butters privately disagreed, because sometimes hearing what your heart was saying and not being able to do a thing about it hurt worst of all.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh, I'm sure you all see where it's going but screw it. 
> 
> I'm not gonna lie, I had to write the last five or six paragraphs while reading them out loud because I couldn't string a sentence together otherwise. Someone tell me to stop doing this to myself because seriously, it's killing me.
> 
> Next chapter, I'm going to be dropping some seriously good fan art on you people, but I can't stay awake, so I'm going to stop trying and just conk out. 
> 
> Author AWAAAYYYYYYYYY~~~
> 
> Additional Note: Well, it's been edited and I feel it's quite a bit better now. It definitely gave me a chance to get rid of the obvious mistakes.


	77. Get You High, Get You Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rubs at the bruise I know have on my forehead from slamming it against the table way too many times in the failed attempts to write this chapter* FUCK YOU WRITER'S BLOCK YOU'RE MY BITCH AND YOU WILL KNEEL TO ME LIKE THE PATHETIC THING YOU ARE!!!!
> 
> Mama T, is, as always telling me I need more sleep, but thankfully she and several cans of mountain dew finally gave me some heaven sent inspiration. I think we all just need to take a moment to say thank you to her for being so amazing.
> 
> Now, for updates on the auditions I STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED ALL THE COMMENTS BECAUSE I'M HORRIBLE!!! But rest assured, if you did comment, I want you to audition and I'm desperately trying to get to all of them so that I can get everyone signed up. The first audition is going to be tomorrow and I'm soooo excited. Trust me, I am nothing short of ecstatic. But if you haven't been scheduled for a specific time or I haven't contacted you or you haven't even said that you want to be part of it yet, there's still time and I NEED EVERYONE I CAN GET!!! So please email me -->teamalphaq1210@gmail.com<\-- and say something if you want to join! I swear, I'm working overtime to get everything pulled together so this can go off without a hitch~
> 
> NOW FANART
> 
> First, I'd like to mention that Mianewarcher, the angel that has been following this story and doing some of the most beautiful art for it ever, pulled some muscles and is currently out of commission. Seeing as I'm your parent now, it's my job to care about when you get hurt!! >.< Send good thoughts her way! She's so amazing and she needs to hear that more, m'kay? 
> 
> Before she got hurt however, she left us with a beautiful bit of Bunny to make us feel better about being alive (and about my shitty attempt at writing that previous chapter). It's of the moment that Butters hugged Kenny and she says she doesn't like it, but I personally love it. The surprise on Kenny's face and Butters just being butters makes me want to weep. These characters are so precious, and she draws them perfectly like the queen that she is~ -->https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/170227625605/scene-from-chapter-76-of-semantically-challenged<\-- so yeah, look at it. Because who doesn't need more Bunny in their life?
> 
> Now, for our second piece of fan art, I'd like to draw your attention to this picture by Appleminer. Because goddamn did it draw my attention, okay? It's a beautiful picture of Tweek in his barbarian costume and goddamnit, the lighting, the shading, the fact that it's just so fricken detailed and vivid and _amazing?_ I mean it when I say that this drawing will be worth your time to look at. Heck, is drawing even the right word for it? Masterpiece I think would be more accurate XD How someone can concoct art this beatuiful is beyond me. -- >http://appleminer.tumblr.com/post/170204582875/barbarian-tweek-highkey-inspired-by<\-- but don't just take my word for it, fricken l o o k a t i t.
> 
> Speaking of gorgeous fricken art, Obviouslynotyuri has decided to blow me away with another cover for SC that is mind-blowingly amazing. It's of Craig and Tweek, each with their own monsters behind them as their shadows. Tweek's got jackals that represent anger, sadness, and his crushing fear, while Craig's got the shadowy ghoulish figures of his parents behind him. But it's the way that Tweek and Craig are standing that gets me, with Craig calmly keeping his arm around Tweek like he's trying to protect him while still looking at his own demons and Tweek with his shoulders hunched like he knows that Craig can never fully make him better. I just... I love it. -->https://obviouslynotyuki.tumblr.com/post/170154055518/well-hello-there-creekfandom-hehe-wassup<\-- Please, if you know me at all, you'll know that I wouldn't dream of leading you wrong. Look at this picture.
> 
> Fourth, well, darlings I honestly don't have any words to describe how I feel for this painting by Ramen-is-aesthetic. The picture is two parts, one of Craig and one of Tweek, that night that they stared out the window at the stars. Honestly, I started crying when I saw it, it's just so... beautiful. Both of them are done in this soft, sweet style, that really brings out the innocence of the scene, and Tweek's eyes, they shine so brightly. And can we just talk about the background? Because usually the characters would be the focus of the drawing but the stars and trees and just landscape in the background makes it ten times more gorgeous than it would have been already. -->https://ramen-is-aesthetic.tumblr.com/post/170251844771/well-that-is-literally-the-last-time-im<\-- They need more love for this drawing, seriously, I can't emphasize enough how amazing it is that people are willing to take this kind of time for _me_ of all people XD
> 
> God, I want to say more but Ao3 is telling me I'm running out of characters.
> 
> Enjoy.

_ “Craig I am trying to help you, m’kay? All I’m asking for is a little respect!” _

_ “Stay out of my fucking business. And stay out of Tweek’s while your at it.” _

_ “If you don’t stop, I will send you to the Principal’s, you hear me?” _

_ “Fucking send me then, I’ll say the same thing to her.” _

Admittedly, probably not the best way to handle that situation. Though, if he was being honest with himself, Craig didn’t see how three hours of detention for flipping the Principal off was that big of a deal. It wasn’t his fault that Mr. Mackey deciding to pry into what was going on between him and Tweek pissed him off, the man should have  _ known _ that shit like that would make him upset. And yet he’d still asked, like he had the right. Like he knew  _ anything. _

Craig bit down on the pencil between his fingers, rolling the object between his teeth. It was a bad habit to get into, but he wasn’t about to stop. Besides, it wasn’t like there was anyone in here to tell him to stop. It was just him, the particulates in the air, and the ticking clock in this empty classroom that was somewhere at the back of the school building. He probably wasn’t even supposed to be here, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to sit in the cafeteria when he was so worked up, and he hadn’t really wanted to stare at Tweek for another hour, not when he spent most of class doing that anyway.

Sighing softly, leaning his head against the wall, Craig took a deep breath and caught the faint smell of cigarette smoke, probably a result of the goths who spent their time in the back of the school. Glancing up, Craig noted the open window and considered closing it before shrugging the idea off. It wasn’t that big a deal, he actually kind of liked that rough, thick, spicy smell that was burning tobacco and nicotine. Most kids hated it, but Craig wasn’t most kids.

It was too early for him to be this tired. Craig’s whole body felt a little too heavy right now, probably because he was dragging around all the bullshit he’d just had to endure from both Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey. It had all started because Tweek had experienced a bad panic attack the day before, and Craig hadn’t done anything to stop it, mostly because he knew that Tweek would hate him for trying. Even just thinking it made Craig see how stupid the whole thing was, but he knew how lazy the adults in this school were, so honestly, it didn’t surprise him. They’d been happy to have a convenient means of Calming Tweek down in Craig, and once that convenience was no longer there, they’d wondered what was up.

At least, that’s what Craig thought. Whatever their reasoning for asking into what was going on between Tweek and he, Craig had gotten angry a whole lot faster than he should have. The topic was still fresh in his mind after all, the mess he’d gotten himself into was a constant nagging voice in the back of his head that left him feeling sort of like shit. Actually, that was an understatement, but he’d already gotten pretty good at forcing himself to think ahead to what he was going to do about getting Tweek back as his friend, so Craig wasn’t spending every moment on the verge of a crisis over the whole thing. Even so, it hadn’t taken much prodding before he’d lost his shit.

And sure his version of losing his shit involved flipping off everything and anything that so much as looked at him, but Mr. Mackey hadn’t taken that very well, and neither had Principal Victoria. So now he had detention, and he’d sort of earned it.

On the flip side though, it wasn’t like anything was getting better with him and Tweek, so he wasn’t sure what he’d have done after school anyway. Not play the fantasy game, that was for sure. No, he wasn’t going to touch that shit with a sixty foot poll until he had some sort of idea what the fuck he was doing. There wasn’t any use in it, not when Tweek hated him. Kenny had said the game would be over in five days and told Craig that he’d be able to get Tweek back, but so far, Craig wasn’t seeing it.

Maybe that was his fault though, him and his cowardice. Two days had passed since Tweek had given Craig the ultimatum, and in those two days, Craig hadn’t said a word to the boy. Oh sure, he’d stared at Tweek, almost as much as he had back in those days when Tweek and he didn’t know each other, but he hadn’t worked up the guts to approach him. Instead, he’d just watched Tweek’s quick and painful regression into all of his old bad habits without saying or doing a thing. It was sort of pathetic, but on the flip side, it wasn’t as if he’d made any progress in terms of fixing any of the things that had been screwing up their friendship in the first place, so did he really have any room to talk to Tweek yet?

_ Fuck, this sucks, I just want to talk to him, why is that so hard? Why did things have to get so fucked… _

“Ngh- Jesus, I d-don’t know why!! Why are you asking me!?”

Head snapping up, his heart rate kicking up to a million miles per minute in seconds, Craig looked around for the source of that voice, seemingly answering his thoughts.  _ Tweek? _ Except there was no one in the room, and he hadn’t even said that out loud, so why was the boy even answering? Trying to figure out where the hell the voice had come from, Craig straightened in the seat he’d been slumped in and looked over the dim classroom, struggling to figure out what was happening.  _ Where was his voice coming from? What the hell- _

“But that doesn’t make any sense! N-nothing makes sense anymore, oh god, I hate it!!” Looking up, Craig’s eyes saw the open window several seconds before he fully registered what was going on.  _ He’s… Outside, isn’t he? _ Crouching on the chair, Craig carefully poked his head over the sill of the high window, looking for the person he already knew was there.

Tweek was crouched against the wall opposite the back of the school. For a moment, Craig forgot what he’d been doing as his frantically pounding heart lodged in his throat and his fingers tightened painfully around the edge of the window sill. The boy was shaking, hard enough that his teeth were knocking together. His legs were drawn up to his chest and his thermos was lying forgotten beside him while he yanked at his hair, his green eyes wide and staring, though not at Craig. No, the boy’s eyes were fixed on a point beside him, even though there was nothing there to look at.

Craig wasn’t sure when Tweek had started affecting him like the boy did now. Maybe he’d missed the memo, the point at which his brain said,  _ this, this is something we will find important, _ but it was definitely a thing now. It seemed like a weird thing to focus on, hadn’t he always cared about Tweek? But this was different in a way that Craig couldn’t explain. Tweek had become different in a way that Craig had ceased to be able to understand

Maybe it was the separation, the unmovable barrier between them that forced Craig to watch from the outside as Tweek continued to act very much like himself, or maybe it had been something that was already there and he just hadn’t been attuned to it. But at this point, Craig was definitely aware of whatever it was and wasn’t quite sure if he liked it. Because before, even though Craig was convinced that Tweek colored his world, the boy had just been in the same colors as everything else. Yeah, Craig cared about him, but he’d become routine.

Now, well, Craig wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to call this.

It was something about the way the boy glowed, even cowering against the grungy wall outside of the school. It had something to do with the fact that Craig felt like if Tweek actually looked his way, instead of avoiding his gaze religiously, he really might die. That or never look away. It was definitely connected to the fact that everything Tweek did felt so much more real to Craig than everything else. Those things all had to do with this new phenomenon, the way his heart ended up lodged in his throat more often than not and the fact that reconciling with Tweek had become both an obsessive thought and a terrifying prospect.

Even though he hadn’t spoken a word to Tweek in days, the boy had only consumed more of his mind than he usually already did. Craig had actually gotten pretty comfortable with Tweek turning into another piece of his  _ normal, _ but now he’d managed to make himself abnormal once again and Craig didn’t necessarily know what to do about it. He liked things being normal, and this most definitely wasn’t. And really, he didn’t need this right now, not when everything else was already so fucked up.

Tugging on his hair a little harder, Tweek whimpered, “W-why won’t you leave me alone Craig??” Heart jumping, Craig ducked his head down quickly, feeling like he’d been caught out in a crime of some sort.  _ He saw me, fuck. God, I’m making things worse. Now he knows I’m here, what the fuck am I supposed to- _ “Jesus, y-you’re not even real!”

Wait, what?

Slowly, confused, Craig pushed himself back up so he could look out the window once more. Well, one thing was certain, Tweek wasn’t looking at the window. No, his eyes were still fixed on the point beside him, clearly seeing something that Craig didn’t. As if to confirm this, Tweek mumbled, “I -rrr- I know you feel real, but you’re not. You’re not C-craig.”

_ Is he seeing... me? _ The moment the thought flitted through his head, Craig felt something ugly form in his stomach. He’d always known that Tweek saw things, heard voices that weren’t really there, but he’d never realized that any of them took the shape of him. There were too many implications that were wrapped up in that thought, too many things that Craig didn’t want to contemplate. Like how bad things had really gotten if Tweek hated him so much that he couldn’t even stand an imaginary version of the Noirette. Fuck, what was he even supposed to say to something like that?

Oblivious to the thoughts that the real Craig had running through his head, Tweek mumbled, “Y-yes it does matter Craig.” Letting out a frustrated screech, Tweek suddenly yelled, “I’M TALKING TO YOU LIKE I’M TALKING T-TO CRAIG!! THAT’S -GHN- NOT N-NORMAL!! God, I should be talking to the real you instead…”

“So why don’t you?”

It was only once Craig realized that his mouth was open that he fully registered that he’d spoken. For a moment, all he could do was stare at Tweek, frozen and unsure what he was supposed to do. After two days not talking to Tweek, this wasn’t how he wanted to try and apologize. Not through a fucking window after having listened in on the boy’s one-sided conversation for the past few minutes. But for all the thoughts that had been cluttering his mind before, everything had suddenly gone silent. All there was now was the way that Tweek twitched at his words and suddenly scrambled for his thermos, almost like he had to do something with his hands before he tore his own hair out.

“Ngh- I’ve t-told you. Because I  _ can’t _ anymore. Everything’s too screwed up t-to just talk to him. And jesus! I don’t even want to!!”

_ He thinks I’m just another one of his delusions, doesn’t he? _ As heat clawed its way up his throat, Craig debated whether to leave now or not. On one hand, he had no fucking clue what had possessed him to say something to Tweek at all, but on the other, he’d spent the past two days wishing for even just a minute to talk to Tweek so why was he thinking about leaving now that he had that chance.  _ Is this really how low I’ve stooped, talking to him only because he thinks I’m not there? _

Yeah, apparently that was how low he’d gotten.

“Then why are you talking to me?” he asked, sinking down into the chair he’d been crouched in so he could lean his back against the wall and talk up towards the open window. It helped him feel less shitty about the whole thing, not being able to see Tweek’s face. His chest was aching painfully, but not a bit of the emotion showed in his voice, which was as flat as ever. Sometimes, he wished that he were better at emoting, but at the moment, he was perfectly happy to hide how many things just hearing Tweek’s voice directed at him was making him feel.

From outside, Tweek’s voice filtered into the classroom. “I d-don’t know.” Craig didn’t know either, so he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond to that, but thankfully, Tweek wasn’t finished. “I thought things w-would get better once you were gone, but -grrr- they haven’t. Jesus, I don’t know w-what to do!”

Wishing he could bury his fingers into Tweek’s hair and pull the boy closer till he calmed down, Craig blew out a slow breath before answering, “Did you expect them to?” He could picture the way that Tweek’s eyes would widen at those words, before they’d close jerkily as he twitched hard and shook his head. Recalling Tweek’s words to him when Tweek had left, his plea for Craig to stop hurting him, the Noirette yanked his chullo down. That had been a stupid question, of course Tweek had expected things together, it had been self-absorbed to assume otherwise.

But then Tweek answered, surprising him. “N-no, not really.” It was such a broken mutter, Craig felt his chest ache. Pressing down on the feeling, as if trying to suppress it, the boy clenched his teeth and forced himself to stay relaxed. In that soft, lost way of his, Tweek continued, “God, I w-was so selfish, just leaving like that. Craig hates me now.” Suddenly letting out a growl, the boy exclaimed, “B-BUT IT WAS KILLING ME, WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

_ I was killing him, my inaction was tearing him apart. _ Tamping down the guilt that tried to crawl out of his chest, Craig took a deep breath before saying, “I don’t hate you.” The words were true, and they always would be as far as Craig was concerned. Even though Tweek clearly didn’t want to talk to him and the only way they could communicate was if Tweek thought it wasn’t him, Craig still didn’t blame the boy for it. He’d fucked up and shattered the trust that Tweek had in him, he sort of deserved everything that was coming to him.

Softly, Tweek moaned out, “He sh-should. I’m so selfish and horrible, all I could think about was how  _ I _ felt! That’s s-so disgusting. I’m d-disgusting.”

“No you’re not,” Craig told Tweek, his flat voice doing nothing to convey the tearing sensation he felt in his heart as he listened to Tweek’s admission.  _ Is that how he feels about this? Fucking hell, even when I’m not around I screw up his life. _ “Tweek, you did what you had to do.”

“But I should have at least, jesusidontknow, explained what was wrong,” Tweek pushed out in a rush, like the words hurt him. “Craig didn’t even kn-now what he did wrong, and I did such a b-bad job of telling him. I -gah!- I didn’t even tell him what was wrong!! I just ran away!” Well, Craig wasn’t going to argue with that, because it was true, Tweek had left him confused and broken in ways he didn’t even know were possible. But at the same time, he’d been so far gone, he probably wouldn’t have understood Tweek even if the boy had told him.

So he said as much, his voice slow and methodical. “Tweek, be honest, would I have understood fuck all of it even if you had explained it to me?”

“I dontknow _ohgod~”_ Tweek’s teeth clacked together hard enough that Craig could hear it even from where he was sitting. “But even if I had told him, I w-would have sounded so horrible and -rrr- pathetic. I was sick of feeling pathetic, I w-was tired of putting myself through so much pain that didn’t even have a r-reason to be there.” 

“No, you had every reason to be upset.” Staring sightlessly at the ceiling, Craig muttered, “I was acting like a puppet. McCormick and Cartman were controlling me to the point where nothing I did was my own anymore. I’d be pretty pissed if I were you.” Though he wasn’t really saying it to Tweek’s face, Craig felt better for saying it, even if it was just a little bit. “I was fucking dating someone I didn’t even like all because they were telling me to. They had me answering to a fucking  _ name.” _

“So th-that’s what you meant when you said they collared you,” Tweek mumbled, his voice tremulous. “Kenny told me, but I -ngh- never believed him.” Letting out an involuntary sound the boy suddenly burst, “B-BUT I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT THAT OUT!! Oh god, I d-didn’t even have a good reason for being upset, I was being so horrible and clingy and needy. If he knew, h-he’d hate me for real! He already does!!”

“No, I don’t.”

“YOU DON’T BUT HE DOES!!” Tweek shrieked, his twitching evident in his words. Desperately, like he needed answers otherwise he’d die, Tweek pushed out, “H-he hasn’t talked to me in two days, what else is th-that supposed to mean if he doesn’t hate me?”

Reaching up into his own hair and fisting his hand in the black strands, Craig let out a bitter laugh and said, “Maybe because I’m a fucking coward?”

His shivers audible, Tweek said in an uneven voice, “H-he doesn’t play the game anymore, why does he do that??”

“Because I’m sick of playing that game on Cartman’s terms,” Craig ground out, wishing he could just go out there and say this to Tweek in person. Maybe then Tweek would believe him.

But as it was, Tweek didn’t buy a word of it. “Don’t you get it?! He avoids me entirely! Jesus, I d-dontgetitatall!! He clearly doesn’t want to be anywhere  _ near _ me!” Mumbling under his breath for a few more seconds, there was a thunk that Craig didn’t doubt was the sound of Tweek’s head hitting the concrete. After a moment of silence, Tweek finally asked, “S-so if he doesn’t want to be near me or -ghn- talk to me, why does he keep staring at me l-like I still matter to him?

Letting out a whoosh of air as Tweek’s words hit him, Craig found himself flatly saying, “Maybe you should ask  _ me  _ that.”

Apparently, that had been the wrong thing to say. “I can’t!!!” Tweek exploded, all but screaming in frustration. “Everything’s so  _ screwed up, _ I c-can’t just talk to Craig!!” His voice nothing short of frenetic, Tweek continued in a rush, “Nothing’s ever going to get better! Grr- th-things are always going to stay the same and Jesus, I shouldn’t even feel like this, b-but I just want the old Craig back and I can’t have that because he’s- HE’S GONE!!” Panting, twitching, Tweek mumbled, “What’s wrong w-with me…”

Gut clenching, Craig sucked in a deep breath before firmly saying, “Tweek, I promise you, things are going to change. Hell, everything’s going to change.” Yanking his chullo down over his forehead, Craig continued, “It’s going to suck ass, but I swear I won’t rest until I’ve made things right.”

Whatever he’d been expecting, Tweek’s broken laughter hadn’t been it. “Y-you can’t promise anything, you’re not even real…”

Craig wanted to disagree, but when he opened his mouth to do so, the words failed him. They just lodged in his throat and made it impossible to breathe. Because Tweek didn’t know that he was talking to Craig at all, Tweek just thought he was talking to himself. Snapping his mouth shut, Craig stared down at his hands in silent misery, wishing he had the strength to stand up and just fucking  _ tell _ Tweek that it was him. But he didn’t.

In the end, he really was a fucking coward.

Like a fitting response to his pathetic inability to speak when he most needed to, there was the sounds of Tweek stumbling to his feet before he yelled, “Jesus, I c-can’t handle this, just leave me alone!” Before Craig could respond, he was hearing Tweek’s running footsteps and he was alone again, sitting there with nothing but the smell of cigarettes and a silent classroom once more.

There was a soft tsking from the door of the class room. “Fucker~ is this really what we’ve come to? Such big words and not even enough courage to back them up.” Glaring across the room at Kenny, who’d been standing there for god knew how long, Craig stumbled to his feet, unsure what else he was supposed to do. “Are we really at the point where you’re more willing to pretend to be in Tweek’s head than ground him in the reality that he’s so quickly losing his hold on?”

_ Well when you put it like that… _ “Fuck off,” Craig pushed out through gritted teeth. He was sick of people trying to tell him how to deal with Tweek, hadn’t Kenny been the one to tell him that he shouldn’t let others tell him what to do? But Kenny was smirking like Craig had no idea what he was talking about.

“It’s okay Tucker, I won’t sell you out,” he assured the boy. When Craig’s brows furrowed, Kenny laughed. “But it makes you wonder, doesn’t it, whether in the end you’re no more important than another one of his delusions. At some point, he’s not going to be able to tell the difference, so doesn’t that make it all the same?” Shaking his head, as if what he’d said was inconsequential, Kenny quickly followed what he’d said up with, “You know Craig, without me around, nothing would get done.”

“The fuck have you done this time,” Craig growled, his eyes dark.

Smirking, Kenny shook his head. “Oh, don’t worry about that, it’s not important right now, is it? Just know that you managing to get yourself landed in detention is  _ very _ unfortunate.” Almost like he was disappointed, Kenny looked at the floor. “But~ I suppose it hardly matters, we’ll work around that little, niggling fact.” Grinning, the boy said, “After all, I did tell you that this was going to hurt, getting your little blond spaz back.”

“Just tell me,” Craig demanded, his patience wearing thin.

Raising one eyebrow, Kenny said, “I want you ready for the game before you go to detention.” Visibly rolling his next words around in his mouth, the boy finally added, “Things are about to get very  _ interesting _ and I’d just  _ hate _ for you to miss out on anything.”

Taking a breath, considering arguing with Kenny, Craig remembered Tweek’s words about how nothing was ever going to change and steeled himself. Yeah, there would be consequences for this, if he was reading what Kenny was saying correctly, but at the same time, if he didn’t play the game, he’d never be able to change it and bring it down. So instead, he lifted his chin and straightened his spine. “Fine.”

“Glad we’re in agreement,” Kenny purred. “Don’t get to complacent Fucker, because it’s going to end soon, and I’d hate for you to blink and miss it.” Lifting his hand, the boy turned around and called after him, “I’ll let you know what’s going on later, enjoy the rest of your lunch~”

))))-((((

This was why, hours later, when the silence of detention was broken by the buzz of Craig’s phone, he didn’t just ignore it. Instead, he glanced at the screen, risking Mr. Mackey’s displeasure. Tugging his cloak tighter around his shoulders, Craig felt a swell of something like anticipation move through him at the words on his screen.

**_[Ten minutes Fucker, get ready to move.]_ **

Pushing back a sleeve, Craig checked his watch, already waiting.

“Craig…” Mr. Mackey’s voice didn’t even faze him, Craig just kept staring, knowing that if Kenny had promised something was going to happen, then something definitely would. “Craig this is  _ detention. _ M’kay, stop looking at your watch because you are in here for three hours, buddy!” The man slapped the cafeteria table for effect. “M’kay?”

Looking up at the impatient man, Craig lowered his arm and flatly said, “Whatever.”

Crossing his arms, Mr. Mackey blustered, “Don’t think your friends are gonna come bust you out this time, Craig!” Oh no, Craig wasn’t thinking anything. He just  _ knew. _

Knowing how upset the idea that he might escape made the counselor, Craig raised an eyebrow and said, “My name is Feldspar and I’m a level eleven Thief.” Though he cringed a bit at the use of the made up name, Craig decided that for the sake of this argument, it got his point across the best. “The Humans will soon rescue me from this tower.” If he’d had the capacity to do so, he might have smirked, but his face didn’t exactly work that way.

Pointing at him, getting red in the face, Mr. Mackey exclaimed, “No, your name is fuckin’ Craig Tucker and you’re in detention!” He slammed his fist against the table, which might have been intimidating if it had been literally anyone but Mr. Mackey. “Now start doing your homework!”

Already bored, Craig glanced down at his watch.  _ Soon. Something’s going to happen soon. _ Mr. Mackey kept talking however, as if he was oblivious to the loss of Craig’s attention. “M’kay I’ve got all the doors  _ sealed, _ and I’ve got hallway monitors working overtime. Nobody is gonna save your ass today, Craig! M’kay!”  _ Man, still hasn’t gotten over me escaping last time, has he? _

Leaning back in his chair, Craig said, “I’ll be out of here in ten minutes.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *takes a deep breath*
> 
> Darlings, I just wanted to officially apologize for Clyde's and Butters' chapters. When I set out to write this, when I set out to write any story actually, I always go in to write the story that I want to see with the kind of quality that _I_ expect of myself. Those last two chapters, chapters that were honestly important and looked forward to, I didn't do my best on them. I put them off till the last minute, I stayed up too late writing them, and as a result, what you got were less than perfect chapters. Though many of you have said that you enjoyed them, and I'm truly grateful for that, I personally will not stand by watching the quality of my work slip.
> 
> So that's why I'm telling all of you now, I'm renewing my dedication to only writing my best. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop updating every day, it just means I won't put it off. I will write like I mean it and I will write like I want to see myself write. I don't want to let you down, but as a writer who strongly believes that writing should never come from a desire to please others and should always come from an inner desire to write something that makes yourself happy, I have to put forth 100%, otherwise I'll never be able to summon up the determination to finish this story.
> 
> But I need your help. If you see the quality of what I'm writing slip, even if it's the little things, call me out on it, please!! I mean it! Even if you think you're just imagining things, tell me that you thought it wasn't as good. Because if I let myself slip, then things will only get worse. You'll be doing both you and me a favor if you're willing to hold me accountable. 
> 
> I know that was long winded, but if it makes you feel any better, I did go back and rewrite the last chapter, so it should be better. I'm sorry I didn't put forth that effort the first time.
> 
> *lets out a long sigh*
> 
> Thank you for reading this. I hope that this story will only get better from here.


	78. Hopelessly Hopeful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWOW
> 
> The first set of auditions are done and XD AHHH!!! The amount of talent contained in you people is amazing. I wish there were words to describe how happy this all makes me. 
> 
> In all seriousness though, I'd be lying if I said that we have all the people we need, so if you're out there and you're thinking about maybe wanting to do this, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING. Honestly, none of us are professionals here, you'll fit right in.
> 
> But I don't want to talk forever, instead...
> 
> Enjoy.

As he twitched the broom over the floor of the storeroom, Tweek stared straight ahead with dull, lifeless eyes.

_ Because I’m a fucking coward? _

God, that deep, even voice, a voice that sounded so familiar and yet came out distorted because it was being seen through the screen of his mind.

_ Because I’m sick of playing this game on Cartman’s terms. _

If he hadn’t been staring at his imagined creation of Craig, Tweek would have looked around for the boy, for a moment, he’d been sure he was hearing him.

_ Maybe you should ask  _ me _ that. _

It had sounded so much like Craig… And his words had carried so much weight behind them, like he meant every single one.

_ I swear I won’t rest until I make things right. _

Maybe if it had been Craig, he wouldn’t feel so dead inside right now. As it was…

_ Tweek, I promise you, things are going to change. _

“JESUS I CAN’T HANDLE THIS!!!” Throwing the broom down, Tweek yanked at his hair hard, trying to drive the mental image of Craig that haunted him from his mind. He didn’t want to hear those things from another one of his delusions, he wasn’t sure he could handle it when they turned out to be nothing but lies.

Shaking, he stumbled back and collapsed against one of the coffee bags as he tried to get his mind to shut up for just one blessed moment. Everything, from school to the game had become nothing short of one long cry of misery. For the first time in five months, Tweek was entirely alone, and he wished he could just die already because that would probably be preferable.

It didn’t help that he spent most of his time simply wishing that Craig didn’t hate him. After what he’d said to the boy however, it didn’t matter how much his subconscious told him that Craig didn’t hate him, Tweek knew that wasn’t true. If Craig hadn’t hated him, then he wouldn’t be staring at him so often, clearly plotting his demise. It didn’t matter that all Tweek ever saw in those eyes was concern and raw, tangible  _ pain, _ he was imagining it. Craig wanted to  _ kill _ him. Who wouldn’t after being treated like he’d treated Craig.

The guilt was eating him alive.

Twitching harder, Tweek curled in on himself as he remembered that day at lunch for the millionth time. Of course he remembered most of what his mental image of Craig had said, all of it, from when they’d started talking right up until the moment he’d run inside. But there had been a part there, a moment where something had shifted and Tweek had felt, if only for a second, that he was talking to the Noriette himself. Even though he hadn’t said it out loud, because that was crazy even by his standards, Tweek had felt almost… comforted for a moment, before he’d brutally rejected that kindness concocted up from whatever depths of his mind still weren’t consumed by self-hatred.

_ Jesus, I wish I could just talk to him!! _ Letting out an involuntary sound, Tweek shivered and yanked on his hair, trying to pull those thoughts from his head. He was so stupid, wanting to go back to the very thing that had hurt him before, but as he’d been forced to accept earlier that day, things weren’t getting better and he didn’t expect them to. Heck, it had gotten to the point where he had let his parents rope him into doing chores in the back room rather than going out and actually playing the game, if only so he didn’t have to face the Noirette.

Clenching his teeth to keep them from knocking together, Tweek shook his head against the horrible feelings crawling up in his chest. No, he wasn’t going to think about it, he  _ couldn’t _ think about it anymore. If he did, then he really might die because all it did was make the creatures in his stomach tear him apart. They’d rip him open and crawl out and then they’d probably kill something because they were clearly more distressed than even he was.  _ What if they kill Craig because I’m upset with him?? Jesus, I can’t handle that!! _

From outside of the backroom, Tweek heard the bell over the door ring and his father brightly say, “Welcome to Tweek Coffee. Coffee Made with ingredients supplied by local organic suppliers.”  _ Oh god, not again, why does he always do this? _ Stumbling to his feet, feeling disoriented, Tweek looked around helplessly for the broom, which he’d managed to misplace in the time it had taken him to freak out.  _ I’m such a mess, why would anyone want to even talk to me? I’m disgusting. _

Unexpectedly however, an unfortunately familiar voice answered his dad back. “Oh, that’s simply wonderful, but we’re here for something else~”  _ Why is Kenny here? Oh god, I don’t have the energy to deal with him. That’s way too much pressure!! He’s been acting so weird lately, I don’t get it, I don’t want to deal with him! _ Worse, the reason for Kenny being here at all was probably to get Tweek to come play, which he didn’t want to do at all.

Oblivious to Kenny’s true intentions, Tweek heard his dad say, “Are you sure? It’s local coffee. Brewed locally.” 

“Thank you Mr. Tweak, but we’re actually looking for Tweek.”  _ Token?! JESUS WHAT’S HE DOING HERE TOO!?! WHAT IF CRAIG’S WITH HIM!? _ Twitching violently, Tweek dug his fingernails into his scalp hard enough that he broke the skin.  _ No, anything but that!! I don’t want to see Craig! I can’t handle him!!! _

“Tweek?!” his dad called suddenly, his voice filtering through Tweek’s fear yet only increasing the pressure in his head. “Tweeeeeek!!!!”

“AUGH!!!!” he screeched, covering his ears and stumbling backwards, falling over one of the bags of coffee grounds.  _ OH GOD I’M GONNA DIE!!! _

“Have you picked up the fresh local ingredients?!” his father called in that playfully teasing voice he used when he was trying to impress customers.  _ They’re just kids, what does he think he’s doing?? Oh god, he looks crazy and I look even worse than him! _

“AAHGHGH Not yet dad!!!” Tweek shrieked in return, attempting to pull himself to his feet.  _ I can’t play, there’s no way I want to if Craig’s going to be involved!! _ Trying to ignore the fact that this was patently untrue, Tweek surged forward and grabbed for the fallen broom, which he clutched until his knuckles went white. “I’m still t-trying to do all my chores!!” he finally called back, hoping to god that they would just leave him alone.

_ I can’t face Craig, I can’t do it. I think I really would die then and then my parents would turn me into coffee grounds and serve me to customers! _ Shaking hard, Tweek yanked on his hair and looked around helplessly, wishing he could hide. After what had happened, after what he’d said to Craig and what had happened as a result, Tweek was too scared to face the boy outside of school where he could at least run away if he decided to come after him.  _ Besides, he’s always sitting with his girlfriend, there’s no way he’d even come after me there. But here, what if he actually kills me!! _

Sublimily, Richard Tweak called back, “Well hurry up, son, the family business is relying on you!”  _ WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!! _

“AUUGH!!!” he screamed in response.

“You should try some coffee,” his mother insisted to the other boys, her dreamy broken voice making Tweek’s teeth knock together.  _ Just please, stay out there. If Craig’s with you, I won’t be able to handle it. _

Because in the end, Tweek was most afraid that he’d run back to the Noirette without a second thought if Craig extended even a finger in his direction. It had been hard enough to resist those stares that Craig threw his way, with worry overflowing from the deep blue pools of the boy’s eyes. But if Craig actually spoke to him, Tweek was terrified that he’d throw away his resolve to stay away from the taller boy.  _ I’ve already put myself through so much, I can’t handle anymore of it. _

But he couldn’t handle much more of this, so he felt screwed either way.

“Ah- Thank you, ma’am, b-but we’re here t’find Tweek!” Butters exclaimed, his voice just as cheerful as ever.  _ How many people did they bring?? Why are there so many of them?! CRAIG IS PROBABLY WITH THEM OH GOD!!! _

“Well, he’s in the back room doing his chores!” his mom said, humming under her breath.

Before Tweek could do anything to even begin to prepare himself, the door to the back room swung open and a flurry of bright pink and purple skirts came flying into the room, accompanied by the musical call of, “Tweekers~ Never fear, your princess and her wonderful Paladin have come to rescue you from your tower of solitude!”

“AUGHGUGHGHGH!!” Dropping his broom, Tweek’s hands flew up into his hair as he stumbled backwards and sprawled out over the ground once more. As his head smacked the concrete floor, the blond let out a moan of pain and stared at the ceiling while he wished for a swift death. He could hear Kenny tittering and Butters quickly shuffling towards him, no doubt to make sure he was okay. Out of the corner of his eyes, Tweek could just make out Token’s orange cape as it swished near his face, but after a moment of listening, he realized that these were the only people in the room.  _ Craig’s not here?? _

He could only pretend not to feel the stab of disappointment and bitterness at the realization. 

“Hey buddy!” Butters burbled, helping Tweek get to his feet, even though the blond was twitching too hard to stand up straight. “We’re here cause th’Grand Wizard sent us!”

Nodding, his eyes watching Tweek carefully, Token said, “The Elves took the stick back apparently.”  _ AFTER EVERYTHING WE DID TO GET IT BACK!? _ Tweek felt like ripping out his hair, so he just screamed again, though it came out as more of a growl of frustration. “I know,” Token agreed, as if he’d actually answered back.

“Which is  _ why~ _ my sweet little Barbarian, they need  _ you _ at the castle!” Kenny announced, his sky-blue eyes sparkling with mischif.

Looking around the back room, feeling his stress rise up once more at the prospect of actually playing, Tweek clenched his hands and squeaked, “Now?!?!? You guys need me now?!” Scrambling to pick up his broom, as though that would protect him, Tweek insisted, “Ngh- th-there’s no way man!”  _ Besides, if I go, what if I see Craig?! _ That shouldn’t have been something that he wished for, Tweek felt like a desperate addict, craving the thing that had already hurt him more times than he could count.

“B-but we gotta get the stick back!” Butters insisted, his eyes wide and imploring. Shivering, looking at the happy boy, Tweek shook his head, gripping the broom handle tight enough that his fingers creaked. “C’mon, you’re one’a our best warriors!”

Shaking his head hard enough to make it pound, Tweek shrieked, “NO WAY!!! I have way too much to do!!” Attempting to drag the broom over the floor, Tweek only succeeded in nearly sending himself toppling again, prompting Token to raise an eyebrow and pull the broom from his hands carefully.

“So get it done, and then come and help,” the Cleric told him, his eyes searching Tweek’s face, as if he knew exactly why Tweek didn’t want to come.  _ Jesus, of course he does, he knows everything!!!! _ Letting out a scream through his teeth, Tweek buried fingers into his hair and pulled, making the scratches he’d already left behind by his fingernails burn all the more.

“HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO D-DO ALL THIS?!?!” Tweek screeched, wishing they’d just leave him alone already. “AUGHGHG!! How am I supposed to -rrr- do all of this?!” he repeated again, trying to calm down but failing horribly. “There’s no way man!”  _ Oh god, why are they making this so hard for me?! _ Muttering under his breath as the pressure in his head started to build, Tweek babbled out, “Starbucks has, like, eight employees!! Here, it’s -ghn- just me!!!”

“Tweeky, look at you, freaking out over  _ nothing~” _ Kenny cooed, throwing his arms around Butter’s neck so he could rest his head on top of the Paladin’s mop of blond hair. “Careful, you might burst a blood vessel doing that.”

“JESUS IS THAT DEADLY?!” Covering his head in fear, Tweek almost fell over again before Token reached out a hand and pressed down on his shoulder, physically keeping his feet planted on the ground. Looking up at the black boy, Tweek twiched hard and swallowed in an attempt to push the lump of fear down.

“If you have a lot to do, then what if we helped?” Token offered, raising the broom and shrugging. “Because I really think you should come today Tweek,” the boy continued, raising an eyebrow slowly. When Tweek tried to get away from those knowing eyes, Token added, “You’ve been avoiding us.”

Eyes flying to Kenny and Butters, the former of which had his eyebrows raised in mischievous curiosity, Tweek let out a screech and freed himself from Token’s grip. “JESUS FINE!!!” Wrapping his arms around his torso as he attempted to get his twitching under control, Tweek bit out, “Y-you can help!” Giving Token a hurt look for backing him into a corner so effectively, Tweek mumbled, “Grrr- but I still have to sweep! A-and I have to go pick up the coffee delivering from Kenny’s garage.”

If he’d thought that this would dissuade anyone, Tweek was sorely mistaken. At once, as though delighted by this, Kenny clapped his hands together and squealed, “Oh isn’t that just wonderful! Butterfree and Token can finish neatening up and we can go get the delivery together Tweekers, wouldn’t that just be the bestest?”

Brightening at the prospect of being able to help, Butters swelled with joy and announced, “A’course M’lady! Me ‘n Token’ll get this place all neat an’ stuff together!” Nodding at Tweek, as though he expected the blond to be happy about the situation, the boy said, “Don’t worry Tweek, we’ll get it all done before y’even get back!”

Realizing that he didn’t have a way out of this anymore, Tweek bit his bottom lip twitching before mumbling, “Ngh- f-fine.”

“Come on Tweeky, we’ll have this done in no time~” Kenny announced, looping his arm around Tweek’s shoulders and pulling the defeated boy after him. Shuffling his feet in an attempt to keep up with Kenny, Tweek kept his eyes fixed on the ground, even while Kenny grabbed for the order slip next to the door and pulled Tweek out into the alley beside Tweek Bro’s. The moment they were out of the building, Tweek ducked out from under Kenny’s arm and hurried away from the princess, his arms wrapped tightly around his torso.

_ I don’t want to deal with these people, I’m so sick of this game. Why am I letting them drag me around?! _ Whimpering, Tweek shook his head, trying to get the thoughts out of his head. No, it was stupid that he was letting what happened with Craig ruin this game for him! Except Craig had  _ been _ the game for him, the reason he kept playing no matter how many horrible things happened to them because of it. Now that Craig was gone, he just wanted it to be over.

Feeling Kenny’s eyes on him, Tweek jerked his head upright and stared straight ahead, wishing he could at least look confident. If he had his costume on, at least then he’d feel like a barbarian. Right now, all he had was his own fear and insecurity, coupled with the pain that Craig had left him and the mental scars he’d inflicted on himself.

“You’re not fooling an-y-one,” Kenny murmured, drawing out the syllables of the last word. “C’mon Tweeky, I might be a blond, but I’m not stupid. We all know why you were hiding in the back room letting your parents order you around, it’s not like it’s a mystery.”  _ Oh god, what is he talking about?! JESUS!!! _

“I’m -ngh- not hiding!! I had chores!” Tweek insisted, shivering as Kenny drew level with him and loomed over him, his mascara coated eyelashes lowering as he looked down at the twitching boy. Shrinking away, dodging out of Kenny’s line of sight, Tweek stumbled around the corner and attempted to put some distance between himself and the Princess.  _ Does he know about Craig?? I never said anything to anyone, so does that mean that Craig told everyone?! But why would he do that, does he really hate me that much?? WHY DOES HE WANT TO MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE?! _ Letting out a shriek, Tweek screamed, “JESUS IT’S T-TOO MUCH!!”

Clicking his tongue, Kenny let out a soft giggle. “Oh  _ Tweekers, _ I can practically hear your brain going  _ crazy _ right now.” Shaking his head, the boy suddenly dropped the princess act entirely. “You know, I never thought I’d say this but it’s almost like you’re back to normal, no? You’ve gone right back to being the same spaz we all used to know and love, and how long did it take for it to happen? Two days? Three?”

When Tweek just whimpered and dug his hands into his hair, hating how easily Kenny could work his fingers into his most disgusting thoughts, the other boy hummed under his breath. “Look at you, you’re a  _ mess. _ It’s got everyone talking Tweek, but no one’s got any answers. Funny how something that should be nothing short of obvious is causing so much  _ strife.” _ Drawing level with Tweek once more, Kenny leaned down slightly and said, “So tell me Tweeky, what’s got you all in such a tizzy, hmm?”

_ Craig. Always Craig. _ “Ghn- God, just l-leave me alone!” Of course he was a mess, he’d been nothing but ever since pushing Craig away. And Kenny was right when he said that Tweek had gone back to the way he used to be before Craig had been a figure in his life. Heck, he was worse. At least before it hadn’t hurt so much.

“You’ll talk to those monsters in your head but you won’t even talk to me??” Kenny asked, holding his hand to his heart as if hurt. “Now that’s just cruel, simply  _ horrible. _ But let’s be honest, at least your crazy never abandons you for someone else.” Kenny’s words dripped through Tweek’s mind, making him feel worse by the second. “You know Tweekers, I would have thought that  _ you _ of all people would know that problems don’t go away when you tell them to. After all, pushing people away is never the answer.”

_ Craig’s been telling all of them what happened. Everyone knows what I said to him. Everyone knows how horrible I am! Why would he do that to me?! _ Because he hated Tweek, obviously. As his breathing sped up, his insides clenching around his own terror, Tweek shook his head up. “I DON’T EVEN WANT TO PLAY!! JESUS JUST GO AWAY!!!”

Unexpectedly, Kenny sighed, the sound one of genuine regret. “I know,” he said softly, ruefully. “You’re not the only one who’s sick of this game.” Feeling some of his general panic start to slow down at the change in Kenny’s voice, Tweek slowly turned to look at the boy, who was pulling at one side of his wig as if to straighten it. “In fact, your boy in blue isn’t too keen on playing anymore either, actually.”

Heart tripping uncomfortably, Tweek bit his lip to hold back the question that instantly jumped to his lips.  _ Why doesn’t Craig want to play?  _ Because that was the only thing that Kenny could mean, right? Except that didn’t make any sense, because of course Craig still wanted to play, he was too far into the game to just want to leave. 

_ Things are going to change. _

Eyeing him sidelong, Kenny softly said, “Oh, but I thought you  _ knew _ Tweeky. Haven’t you seen Craig recently? He’s been nothing short of miserable since you vanished on him, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it.”  _ Craig’s been upset? _ Tweek hated the hope that rose in his stomach at Kenny’s words.  _ Jesus, I want Craig to be happy, why am I hoping that he’s upset without me?? I’m so disgusting. _

“I bet you have, I bet you’ve seen it every time you’ve caught him staring at you with those lost eyes of his.” Shaking his head, Kenny added, “But I suppose it’s a good thing that he’s finally able to admit he’s upset, because neither of you were going to last much longer pretending nothing was wrong without something blowing up.”

Wrapping his arms around his middle a little tighter, Tweek stumbled over the uneven ground and pushed out, “B-but he’s supposed to be happy!! I don’t want Craig to be upset!”  _ Why am I so hopeful, what do I think is going to come from this?! _ “I’m not part of his life anymore, he sh-should be happy without me.”  _ Who wouldn’t be glad to get rid of something like me? _

Raising an eyebrow, as if he could read Tweek’s mind through his eyes, Kenny said, “Happy Tweekers? Heaven’s no, Craig is downright miserable without you!” When Tweek squeaked, Kenny chuckled, though the sound didn’t hold even an ounce of mirth in it. “You say that he should be happy, but be honest with yourself, would Craig have ever been happy in the situation he was in? No Tweek, I should be  _ thanking _ you, without your specific brand of crazy, your little Thief would still be allowing the rest of us to crush his spirit.”

_ Hell, everything’s going to change. It’s going to suck ass, but I swear I won’t rest until I’ve made things right. _

“He could be h-happy with Bebe,” Tweek muttered, biting his lip.

“We forced him into that relationship,” Kenny answered back, saying what Tweek had been thinking for a month.

Grasping for all of those things that he’d been using to convince himself that his situation was hopeless, Tweek squeaked, “He hasn’t said a word to me, h-he’s avoided me!”

Kenny shook his head insistently, “Do you think that Craig know what the hell he’s doing? Tweekers he’s more clueless than you are.”

“He  _ hates _ me.”

“Tweek, he’s fucking obsessed with you!”

As they stopped beside Kenny’s house, Tweek stared at the boy, trying to figure out if he was even  _ allowed _ to believe that there was a chance that things were going to get better. Reaching hands up into his hair, but he didn’t pull on it, he just twitched and waited for the other shoe to drop. Waited for Kenny to laugh and admit that he was just messing with him, just trying to make his life hard, but for once, the sandy-blond looked entirely serious.

“Why are you telling me this??” the twitchy blond asked, almost begging

Like he was hell-bent on confusing Tweek further, Kenny smiling slightly and said, “There are some people who are worried about the two of you. I- I’d rather  _ not _ let them down.” Sounding almost painfully human, Kenny said, “They say that your hearts will guide the two of you, but I dunno, I suppose I’m a little less trusting.”

“S-so what am I supposed to do?” Tweek asked, shivering.

Kenny shrugged and admitted, “I dunno Tweeky. That’s up to you.” Turning back towards the garage, the boy called back to the blond, “But I think you need to stop running.”

Before Tweek could react to those words, Kenny giggled and slipped back into his Princess act in a second. “Now come on my dearest Barbarian~ We have a game to play and a stick to get back!”

All Tweek could do was hurry to catch up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is actually going to be from Kenny's perspective, just putting that out there. I'd rather not make you sit through a boring ass Craig chapter where literally nothing happens.


	79. This Old Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I REQUEST THE HIGHEST OF FIVES
> 
> Seriously, this took three days but fucking h e l l. This audio book is coming together so fast. 
> 
> Also, THERE'S A DISCORD NOW! So yeah, come join the [shitshow](https://discord.gg/eramcuT)! We require more humans there.
> 
> Without further adu
> 
> Enjoy.

Why did he go in the first place. Kenny couldn't have said. Maybe it was some sort of misguided hope, maybe it was those things he’d been suppressing in an attempt to pretend they didn’t exist. Hell, maybe it was Tweek’s heart that made him do it. If Butters was to be believed, hearts were a powerful force, not that Kenny would ever truly understand.

He’d never expected Tweek to volunteer when Cartman said, in that whiny and exasperated voice, that  _ someone _ needed to go rescue Craig from detention, just as Kenny had predicted the fat boy would. Maybe it had something to do with the way his head jerked to the side when Cartman spoke, like he was hearing something that the rest of them weren’t hearing. The first thought that had flitted through Kenny’s mind was that it was stupid, self-destructive even, for Tweek to want to come at all. But then he’d seen the way the blond’s mouth had screwed up into a line, and he’d started to see through to what was going on.

Except he probably should have seen sooner, because at least then things wouldn’t have all gone so sideways. Kenny wasn’t usually a hopeful person, the world had a tendency of letting you down, after all and god knew that he’d been let down more than his fair share. But in this one thing, he’d hoped, however subconsciously, that things would go better. He’d thought, somehow, that things were about to change, because Tweek wasn’t running away from Craig, he was running towards the boy, but maybe Kenny shouldn’t have been so optimistic.

Retrospectively, he knew exactly what it had been that had clouded his mind so entirely. It hadn’t been Tweek’s conflicting actions or his own lack of information or even a simple mistake. No, this had been a willfully misinformed thought that had spawned in his head, simply because he was too weak to resist it.

Butters had that effect on him, telling him that Tweek and Craig were in love, saying that they’d go right back to each other if they had the opportunity. And Kenny had been sure that he saw it too, the way that Tweek was a wreck without Craig, the way he was talking to a vision of Craig just so he wouldn’t feel alone. The fact that every time Craig got brought up, Tweek instantly started paying attention whether he wanted to or not.

And he’d seen the hope in the boy’s eyes, that undeniable desire for Craig to leave the game, to say fuck the system, to just go back to normal, that Kenny had been sure it would go alright. Sure it wasn’t his original plan, but it would work, and it would be better for that, right? Tweek didn’t want Craig to suffer, Tweek wanted Craig to smile, ergo, Tweek would do the thing that would make everything better. There were enough seeds in Craig’s head to make the boy act in his own best interests at this point. Maybe Kenny would have to end the game on his own, but who gave a shit, at least Tweek and Craig would be happy, and by extension Butters because the naive blond always got upset when other people were suffering.

Somewhere along the line though, someone had screwed something up. The cosmic gods that directed the horrible play that was real life decided to cut the action, skip the scene, and just leave everyone hanging. Kenny hadn’t seen it coming, though maybe that was a lesson he should learn, because he didn’t know everything, he just felt like he did sometimes. Perhaps, if he’d stepped in, saw what was coming, noticed all the little cues that meant things were about to go horribly sideways, he’d have been able to stop them before it crumbled.

But he hadn’t seen them. They’d been nothing but a breath in the wind to him, something you couldn’t have noticed if you tried.

In the end, Kenny couldn’t help but wonder if it had been his fault that it had happened like it did. Some mistakes, you couldn’t undo. He’d written himself into a proverbial corner, and the only result was a meltdown. There were no soft emotions, there was no sweet reconciliation, not when he’d gambled with dice and lost. Except they hadn’t been dice, they’d been people, and Kenny had gotten snake eyes the one time it mattered. All of the pushing and all of the pulling, it had lead to something that hadn’t worked. It had simply fallen short. He felt responsible.

Maybe he hadn’t been all that far off at first. Tweek had certainly acted like he had a purpose, acted like he was acting for Craig, moving towards fixing what had been broken between them, just like Kenny had told him to. Even as they’d been walking there, Tweek with one hand clenched around his frying pan, the other fisted at his side, Kenny had heard the mumbles under his breath and been sure that they were leading towards exactly what he’d expected.

Heck, he was positive that he’d understood Tweek’s motivations at first, even though Tweek hadn’t explicitly told him. It was the way he mumbled under his breath, talking to someone who wasn’t there. “Jesus, w-what if I screw up?! What if he still hates me?? I can’t handle that -ghn- it would betoomuch!!!”

Then he’d pause, as whatever he was hearing answered. Kenny hadn’t understood entirely but he’d known that Tweek was headed towards the school ready to fight and that had to count for something. Sure, he hadn’t expected Tweek to go and somehow knew that it was a horrible idea, but he hadn’t been able to let go of it. There was this feeling that things were going to go alright.

But feelings were fucking lies and the only thing Kenny’s heart knew was that he would ignore even the clearest signs that things were going to go badly if he could just think for a second that he’d be able to make Butters smile.

“Oh  _ god, _ th-there’s no way!! I’m not strong enough to do this!! Why am I even trying to rescue him?!?” Then he’d screamed, and dug his hands into his hair.

And this, Kenny was pretty sure, was where he’d made the mistake. Instead of keeping silent, letting Tweek work it out on his own, he’d said the thing that in his opinion had been Tweek’s damnation. “Come on Tweekers,” he’d insisted. “You’re plenty strong.” 

Hindsight was always twenty-twenty but Kenny should have seen this before it even came to be. Because he  _ knew _ these two. He’d known Craig since the boy was in kindergarten and he’d blackened someone’s eye for the first time. He knew the boy didn’t understand how to express his emotions normally, even at the best of times. 

And he’d known Tweek almost as long, having latched onto the blond and studied his every motivation for years. He could practically see each moment of panic and each bad thought before the boy had it at all. Kenny should have been able to look at this and not do what he did, but his thoughts were clouded, and the daffodil that Butters had given to him was still tucked behind his ear and how was he supposed to fight that?

Probably, he should have fought it a little harder, done the right thing and let the shorter blond be, but instead he’d ruffled Tweek’s hair and said, “Besides, we gotta help Fucker out, otherwise he’ll think we’re weak and you wouldn’t want that, now would?”

Which was why, five minutes later, Kenny was texting Craig that they’d have him out in ten minutes.

Beside him, Tweek was looking over the sill of the window, his hands clenching around the small ledge like ten tiny vices. He kept twitching, but he looked more determined that he had in a while, which made Kenny smile as he stared down at the message he’d just sent Craig. He doubted that Craig would be able to tell that Tweek was coming too, but hey, who didn’t like a little spontaneity in their life, right?

“Well Tweekers, ready to wreck their shit with your spastic screaming and my impeccable charm?” Kenny asked, slipping his phone back into his parka before smiling up at the boy, who jerked his head down and stared at the Princess with wide, vivid eyes.

Jerking to the side, Tweek let out a soft, “Ngh-” before suddenly slapping a hand over his mouth and screeching, “JESUS NO! CRAIG IS IN THERE!!!”  He looked torn between excitement and terror and uncertainty and pain, which seemed to be wreaking havoc with his mind.  _ Well, what did you expect? Are you really going to just shove him into this? _ Pushing that dissenting voice back down so he wouldn’t have to listen to it, Kenny let a cocky smirk crawl over his lipstick covered lips.

“Well Tweeky, you jittery little barbarian you, that is  _ kinda _ the whole idea~ After all, if your Craig wasn’t in his tower, then why would we be storming the keep in the first place??” Enjoying the sounds that Tweek made in protest to his comment, Kenny got to his feet and swept his skirts out so they fanned around him. Admittedly, after three months, they were starting to look a little tattered, but then, so was everyone else who was playing this goddamn game, so Kenny thought it was fitting, if nothing else.

“Oh Jesus~” Tweek moaned, yanking on his hair. “We’re going to g-get in so much trouble!! They’re gonna give us detention or th-they’re going to suspend us and -ghn- th-they’re going to  _ expel us and ohjesuswereallgonnadie!!” _

_ Well, you’re not wrong… _

“Tweeky, would I lead you into danger?” Kenny asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Ngh- y E  _ S~?” _ Tweek strangled out, his face contorting.

Placing a hand over his heart as though hurt, Kenny let out a cry of protest before grinning again. “Come on Tweek, how’re we gonna get Fucker back if you keep  _ hiding?” _ Was that unfair, his poking and prodding at the very things he knew would spur Tweek on to be everything he could be? Well, perhaps, but just because he wanted to make Butters smile by helping the two idiots that went by the names Tweek and Craig figure their shit out didn’t mean he couldn’t do it with his own dramatic flair. Which, for the record, was something he had in spades.

“I’M NOT -GHN- HIDING!!” Tweek exclaimed, letting out a growl before standing up straighter, his eyes blazing. “JESUS STOP SAYING TH-THAT!!!”  _ Yes, that’s good Tweek, get upset, you should be upset. Come on, fight, otherwise we’ll never get Craig out of there. _

Maybe Kenny should have stopped, maybe he should have said that it was wrong. After all, there had been that voice in the back of his head, trying desperately to tell him that this wasn’t going to go well, but he didn’t want to accept it. Because if he got them facing each other once more, Tweek in all his glory, and Craig properly grateful for getting rescued, then maybe they’d click back together in that unhealthy way of theirs that defied categorization.

So maybe he could use the excuse that he hadn’t been thinking clearly when he next opened his mouth, but really, even  _ he _ had his weaknesses.

“Then why don’t we stop standing around and actually  _ do _ something,” Kenny said, his eyebrows raising tauntingly, pushing Tweek ever so carefully towards the edge of his nervousness and into that confidence that kept fighting the fear in his eyes. “Come on Tweekers,  _ fight.” _

Clenching his fist around the handle of his pot, Tweek twitched to the side and held his head high. There was so much fucking  _ hope _ in his eyes, it was almost tangible, like Kenny could have taken it and kept it in a jar. 

And maybe he should have, because god knew Tweek had needed it later.

Jerking hard, Tweek nodded once before walking towards the door of the school, his posture reminiscent of the Tweek that Kenny had been seeing the past three months. The barbarian that with Craig had been able to stand up to anything. Right here, he could see it, even without Craig there as Tweek’s dangerous shadow.

Kenny had thought that was a good thing.

As they reached the front doors, Kenny fell into line behind Tweek, ready for his call. There was no elaborate plan this time, there was no huge group, there was just Tweek and Kenny, fucking walking right through the front doors. The moment they swung open, Tweek taking the lead and striding in, Kenny spotted the hall monitor. Turning towards them, the boy furrowed his brows, no doubt confused by what was going on.  _ A new one, huh. Well, this isn’t going to last long, is it? _

In that slightly irritating voice that all gingers seemed to have, the boy wrinkled his nose and said, “Excuse me but school is out.” Tweek was vibrating where he was standing, and Kenny knew just how close the boy was to exploding. There was that limit, after all, and once something triggered it… Well, it was just too bad for whoever got in the way. Almost like he didn’t know why Tweek and Kenny weren’t leaving already, the boy continued, “No students are allowed on the premises until tomorrow at 7:30 AM.”

“Give us back our -ngh- thief,” Tweek said softly, his voice strangely controlled for something that usually was all over the place. His hand kept clenching over the handle of his pan, and Kenny knew what was coming because he’d seen it a dozen times before. Though he had his bow strapped to his back, Kenny reached for the heavy hand mirror Butters had given him the week before and wrapped dainty fingers around it. 

“What?” the Hall Monitor asked in confusion, his brows furrowing. “I can’t understand what you’re-”

“G-give us back. Our.  _ Thief.” _ Tweek repeated, his voice louder this time. Kenny could see it in his stance, the power held within that wiry body. Oh sure, he’d seen anger before. Craig could be downright terrifying when he was upset, and Kyle literally became nothing but redheaded fire, but Tweek, Tweek just let go entirely.

“Wh- Look, you’re in violation of school policy!” the ginger Hall monitor finally snapped, his hands clenched into fists. “Just get out of here. We aren’t going to treat this breach lightly, you’re going to be punished. Just leave, alright?”

“Grrr- If y-you wanted us to leave-” Suddenly, Tweek moved, his body blurring as he launched himself at the Ginger. “THEN YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE -GHN- T-TAKEN CRAIG!!” Before the boy could even begin to defend himself, Tweek was already swinging his pan, aiming it at the boy’s chest, knocking him off of his feet and sending him sprawling. The scream that escaped Tweek as he attacked echoed through the halls, leaving them ringing.

Crawling away from the Tweek, who was stalking back towards the Ginger as Kenny walked around to cut him off, the boy looked between them with panicked eyes and scrambled for his walkie talkie. Before either of them could stop him, the boy was yelling into his receiver, “Officer down, officer down! Send back up!”

Stepping forward swiftly, Kenny drew his mirror and clocked the boy with it, knocking him out. Even as he did so, the walkie talkie buzzed and they heard Mr. Mackey yelling,  _ “Oh goddamnit!” _ That was normal enough, and Kenny just sort of expected the muffled scream that came from Tweek at it, but the next voice that came through the speakers made Tweek freeze entirely.

_ “And here he comes.” _

You could see it in his eyes, the way they widened and he twitched violently, the fact that Tweek heard  _ he _ and thought Craig was talking about him. Of course, Kenny knew it was talking about him instead, but he let Tweek have that, because a moment later, more of the fear fled the boy’s eyes and he tightened his fingers around the frying pan, determined. 

He might have stood there a moment later, but at that moment, several more hall monitors flooded out from where they’d been patrolling, their hands all clenched around crude weapons, no doubt given to them by Mr. Mackey. “Hey!” one of them called, before Tweek turned towards them and several of the hall monitors started backing up. The blond didn’t even react, he just shivered and dragged his frying pan after him, screeching it over the tile floor.

“You’re not allowed to be here!” one of the braver Gingers called, his eyes still wide and scared of what was to come. Frankly, Kenny didn’t blame him, he would have been pretty apprehensive of facing Tweek in a fight like this too.

As Tweek drew closer to the stairs, his eyes locked on the gingers, Kenny tutted reproachfully and said, “Come now, don’t be  _ stupid. _ Don’t tell me you want to gamble with your lives so carelessly here~”

“Look, just get out, okay??” another hall monitor demanded, frustration showing through his voice. “You’re breaking the rules.”

Tipping his chin up, Tweek asked, “D-do we get Craig back??”

“No!”

_ Three… Two… One… _

_ Now. _

“THEN I’LL F-FUCKING TAKE HIM BACK FROM YOU!!” With a feral cry of fury, Tweek leaped forward.

Instantly they were surrounded by pandemonium as the Gingers tried to protect themselves against Tweek. Swinging with a ruthless fury that had been building in him since he decided to come rescue Craig, Tweek unleashed all the emotions as he knocked one Ginger over and forced two others to collide with him. Quickly leaping in to guard his back, Kenny flashed the boy’s a flirtatious smile before hitting one of them in the face with his hand mirror, no doubt breaking his nose. As he went down screaming, Kenny giggled and said, “You should’ve known better than to mess with the Warriors of Zaron~”

“W-we’ve got to get to the doors!!” Tweek yelled, growling as he put another Hall monitor on the ground. “JESUS IT’S TOO MUCHPRESSURE!!!” Gritting his teeth, albeit in a lady-like way, Kenny dispatched another Ginger before turning to Tweek and grabbing his arm, dragging him towards the railing.

“Then let’s go save your Craig,” Kenny all but sang, protecting Tweek as the boy ran towards the railing screaming something about how he was going to break his legs. Throwing Kenny one last look, Tweek seized the banister and vaulted over it, landing on the ground and rolling as he did so, coming back up to his feet in a second. Much more lady-like than Tweek, Kenny hit the last Hall Monitor that had attacked them over the head with his mirror before racing for the railing himself.

Tucking his skirts under his legs as he jumped, Kenny flew over the railing and landed on his feet, sitting down beside Tweek, who was staring at the doors like they’d personally wronged him. With a yell, the boy lunged forward and smashed his pan down against the lock, which might have been strong, but hadn’t been made to stand up to Tweek. Shattering, the lock gave way and the chains slipped off the door as Tweek broke through them, his frying pan already raised for battle.

It was a good thing it was, because almost instantly several Gingers set upon them, their various weapons raised. Swiping his club to the side, Tweek aimed for their knees, only to change directions in an instant when they went to block him. Keeping clear of Tweek’s killer swings, Kenny laid into his own attackers, his blue eyes glinting dangerously as he took them out one by one.

Growling, Tweek finally knocked the last one to the floor and all but shrieked, “W-WE NEED TO GET TO CRAIG!!”

Kenny was about to agree, when from the floor where one of the Hall monitors had dropped it, a walkie talkie crackled and a voice came from it.  _ “Tweek?” _ Craig’s voice sounded strangled slightly, like he’d been hit in the chest and couldn’t breathe. 

And hell if Tweek’s eyes hadn’t started to shine like the fucking sun.

“C-Craig?!” Tweek all but shrieked, diving for the Walkie Talkie instantly, almost fumbling it to the floor as his hands shook too badly for him to hold it.

_ “Don’t you talk to him Craig Tucker, m’kay? You hear me??” _

Ignoring Mr. Mackey, Craig said,  _ “Tweek, I’m here.” _

“JESUS MAN -NGH- I KNOW!!” Tweek screeched, clutching the Walkie Talkie hard enough to break it, his pan lying forgotten at his side.

“By popular demand, we’re breaking you out Fucker,” Kenny commented, his eyes turning down the hallway as the sounds of shouting and running footsteps came towards them. “Nothing personal, but you suck at staying out of detention.”

_ “Fuck you too McCormick,” _ Craig answered back, and Kenny could see the middle finger as clearly as if the boy was in front of him. Turning to the side again, Kenny gritted his teeth and hoisted his hand mirror once more.

“Now, I hate to rain on this parade, but we’ve got trouble,” Kenny said, already stalking towards the hall monitors, who were armed with long scissors and clipboards as shields, as if that would help them. “Talk later Tweekers, right now, I think it’s International Kick a Ginger day.”

_ “Hey Tweek, kick some ass,”  _ Craig said, before he was cut off by Mr. Mackey’s yelling. Dropping the Walkie Talkie, Tweek seized his frying pan and leaped to his feet, following behind Kenny. As he walked forward, stepping daintily, Kenny held up the mirror and quickly adjusted his wig, tugging the golden curls down around his face.

“You know, you’d think that you would get tired of it eventually…” the boy muttered before catching the shift of a Ginger out of the corner of his eye and lunging forward, blocking the strike before hitting the boy upside the head with his hand mirror. “Because somehow-” Kenny continued, spinning with a flash of glitter and catching the boy behind him across the side of the face. “You just keep attacking us-” Another hit to the boy and he went down, clutching his stomach as he began to puke. “And you just keep  _ losing.” _

As Tweek cut down his own Hall Monitors, screaming all the while, Kenny pressed on towards the cafeteria door, beckoning for Tweek to follow him. Racing after him, the blond blasted past Kenny and went straight for the lock on the door, his pan already swinging down on it. His first strike missed, only succeeding in scratching the paint. The second one however connected and the lock blew apart like so much glass.

What happened next, well, Kenny wished to god he could rewind time, but he knew better than anyone that some things were destiny, and sometimes, you’d already fucked up too bad to fix a damn thing.

Doors bursting open under Tweek’s pressure, both Kenny and the shorter blond all but fell into the detention room, where a furious Mr. Macky was standing, his hands clenched into fists behind his table. From the front row, Craig rose to his feet, his cloak flowing out behind him like a shadow. The wonder in Tweek’s eyes shouldn’t have been humanly possible, but oh it  _ was. _ Almost too slowly, Craig turned around, slowly stepping free of the cafeteria table so he could move properly. For one moment, a moment in which Kenny was sure lasted for a life time for the two, time seemed to stop.

In a strangled, desperate voice, Tweek yelled, “Ngh- C-CRAIG!!”

Like he might have died if he didn’t say it, Craig took a step towards Tweek and breathed, “Tweek.” He said the word like it was his religion.

And in that moment, everything had gone horribly sideways.

Suddenly, Craig’s eyes shadowed and his face went from openly flat to guardedly deadpan. As the air in the room darkened, the boy shook his head minutely as the light in his eyes went out. Kenny felt his own chest go cold as he watched the boy, who’d been so  _ happy _ the moment before suddenly change entirely as he started backing up, shaking his head once more.

_ No, that’s not how it’s supposed to go, _ Kenny thought distantly, wanting to speak but unsure what he was even supposed to say. Craig wasn’t supposed to run away, he was supposed to stand up and run to Tweek, he was supposed to- to make things right! But he didn’t, he just stared at Tweek with that guarded expression like he couldn’t even begin to trust the blond with any of his emotions, even while Tweek bared his soul with that expression which said fucking  _ everything. _

The sound Tweek made, the soft, muffled whimper, Kenny could see it break Craig’s heart.

But then Tweek was backing up, gripping his frying pan like he was ready to hurt anyone that talked to him. Clearly knowing that he’d done something wrong, Craig tried to take a step forward, but the look in his eyes was so wrong, it only made the room get colder. Opening his mouth, trying to look for something to say, Craig flatly said, “You rescued me.”

“NO!” Tweek suddenly yelled, surprising all of them. “NO I -NGH- D-DIDN’T!! I DIDN’T- JESUS I DIDN’T DOITFORYOU!!!” As the temperature dropped another few degrees, Tweek continued, “I- I did it for myself!! CAUSE -RRR- I D-DON’T NEED YOU!! DON’T EVER LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!! B-BECAUSE I’M STRONG -GHN- W-WITHOUT YOU!”

“Tweek-” Craig tried, the self-loathing evident in every note, even though it was said flatly.

“Jesus, let’s just g-go!” Tweek snapped. And as he turned around, Kenny caught the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. “Th-they need you to get the Stick back.”

And he was gone, leaving Craig standing there, broken in spirit, if not in expression.

As his stomach sank, Kenny gritted his teeth.  _ Well.. Fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY HECK MY DUDES
> 
> This hurt, but, like, listening to the audio book crew reading chapter 72 broke my achy breaky heart already so I'm pretty much numb at this point.
> 
> It's okay, there will be a chapter tomorrow.


	80. Like Cracks in Concrete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all...
> 
> After a trip to hell, I guess I came back. Everything is shit, but y'all should know by now that it's always shit. I'm just trying to make the best of it.
> 
> There's so much art, so much love, so many people asking if I'm okay or what's going on. Honestly, I can't really take it all in at the moment. I'm running on no sleep and less sanity, but I've got my medication kicking in, and I've got another chapter done, and I've got this shining goal to get better, even if it doesn't always look better in the short term.
> 
> So yeah.
> 
> Enjoy.

You know that choking feeling you get when something is too good to be true, and suddenly you can’t let yourself believe that it is so you try to sabotage it so that you don’t have to deal with the disappointment?

And you know that it’s real, if you could just reach out and touch it, because deep down you know what fake looks like, but at the same time, you don’t remember how to open up. So instead you put up as many walls as possible between yourself and the thing that you want because it’s not  _ right _ to feel happy, it’s not  _ normal. _ Because deep down, you know that if you reach out and try to touch that glowing light, you’ll screw it up and then you’ll have opened yourself up for nothing.

In that moment, you lash out then you draw back, and all you’re left with is this monstrous loss in your gut as you’re forced to mourn the thing that could have been, but you prevented from ever existing.

Craig wished he had a word for it, he wracked his brain for one as he walked silently along the sidewalk, unable to look up from the ground. Token would have had one, some long complicated thing that would have perfectly encapsulated the inescapable feeling of pathetic self-hatred that Craig had bubbling in his gut, but Token wasn’t there, and Craig couldn’t have described it even if he wanted to. It seemed stupid, wanting a name for something this horrible, but Craig thought that maybe if he could name it, he could push it out of his mind for good.

It had worked with his jealousy, naming the thing so it would go away. Once Craig had been able to identify that jealousy, he’d been able to ignore it every time it cropped up. So maybe if he had a name for this too, then he’d be able to face Tweek instead of counting the cracks in the pavement like the coward he was. Or maybe he’d just end up in even more pieces because of it. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if there was a difference anymore.

Remembering back to those moments, sitting in the cafeteria with his hands clenched around the edge of the table and his eyes trained on the Walkie Talkie as he tried desperately to catch every sound Tweek made, Craig wished that he could hit something. It didn’t matter that he’d heard the boy just earlier that day, the very realization that Tweek had come for him just like last time made his whole body feel like it was being compressed into a space it was too big to fit into. He hadn’t even needed to hear a word, he’d been able to tell just from those twitchy sounds alone.

Except it hadn’t just been those sounds, because a moment later Tweek’s yell of  _ W-we need to get to Craig!! _ Had come through the walkie talkie and Craig’s heart had stopped. After all this time, after everything that he’d done, Tweek was coming for  _ him. _ He’d seen Mr. Mackey’s frustration, but Craig hadn’t been able to stop himself from opening his mouth.

He hadn’t been able to stop himself from speaking.

_ Tweek?? _

God he’d almost choked on the word. Because half of him said that Tweek wouldn’t answer, and the other half said that Tweek would yell at him, get upset in some way, yet he’d still spoken because his body wouldn’t let him do anything else.

And Tweek had answered.

Jesus, they’d  _ talked. _ Craig wanted to dig his fingers into his own skin in frustration. They’d had a fucking conversation, without Craig managing to screw shit up, it had been progress even! For the  _ first _ time in days, Craig had felt like things had returned to normal. For those precious seconds while Tweek had been talking to him over the walkie Talkie, Craig had felt  _ okay.  _ Hell, he’d even tried to calm Tweek down, something he hadn’t done in… well, in far too long.

The feelings in his chest had just gotten to be too much. So much emotion after so many days of perpetual emptiness shouldn’t have been possible, but oh hell, Tweek had been able to fuck Craig up so  _ easily _ it was almost depressing. Just a few words from the boy had Craig going crazy, just wanting to  _ see _ the blond, look at him and say he was sorry, say that it was going to be alright, tell him that he was done running.

And in those moments after Tweek had first burst into the cafeteria, Craig had been so fucking  _ sure. _

_ Ngh- C-CRAIG! _

_ Tweek… _

Feeling the knife sink a little deeper, Craig clenched his fists at his sides. Because in that second when all he’d needed to do was reach out and grab ahold of that powerful possibility of joy and comfort and just  _ Tweek, _ Craig had failed. Because in the end, he hadn’t done  _ anything. _ He hadn’t fixed a single damn thing, he hadn’t quit the game, he hadn’t even broken up with Bebe, all Craig had done was mope. And suddenly he was looking at Tweek and feeling terrified because if the blond saw that ugly truth, he’d hate Craig all the more.

So he’d drawn back, and he’d watched Tweek’s heart break.

Now, as he walked several paces behind the blond, ignoring Kenny who was walking beside him and  _ trying _ to ignore Tweek who still hadn’t said a damned word, Craig wished he could stop existing. At least then he wouldn’t have to deal with this fucking cowardice that had never made itself apparent until now. He’d never had a friend that made him feel like this, he’d never dealt with  _ anyone _ who could evoke such emotion in him and truth be told, Craig had been terrified of the things that had raged around in his stomach in those seconds after Tweek had burst into the cafeteria.

He was fucking  _ ten, _ what was he supposed to do with shit like this? God, he didn’t even have a name for it and yet it hurt worse than anything. Even watching Tweek walk away from him on the banks of Stark’s Pond had hurt less because at least then he’d been numb.Right now, Craig could feel every single bit of that pain and anguish and it made him want to hurt something before he hurt himself.  _ We’re not warriors, we’re fucking children, so why isn’t it simple like it’s supposed to be. _

“You know Fucker~” Kenny’s voice drifted through Craig’s consciousness, pulling him out of his thoughts. “I really thought you two were going to fix your shit, but I guess I was terribly mistaken.” Shaking his head as Craig looked up at him, his eyes dark and full of accusation, Kenny hummed, “But then, you weren’t ready, were you?”

“Fuck. Off.” Craig spat out, struggling to keep his voice level. Of all the times to be asked to deal with Kenny’s bullshit, this was so  _ not _ when he wanted to handle it. Not when Tweek could hear them and Craig was too much of a mess to shrug it off.  _ Tweek’s not supposed to affect me like this, I don’t care how different he is, I don’t care that I can’t put him in a box and make him fit, he’s not supposed to be able to make it hurt this much. _

“No shade, Craig,” Kenny hummed, pulling the piece of gauze off of his mouth so he could talk more clearly. “I wasn’t ready either. Not for your bullshit, and definitely not for Tweeker’s.” Ahead of them, Tweek let out an involuntary sound  before flinching horribly,  making something in Craig rise up and demand that Kenny stop talking. It didn’t really matter that he was too cowardly to look at Tweek, he was still going to protect the shivering blond from idiots like Kenny who didn’t know when to shut up.

“McCormick, shut your goddamn mouth,” Craig carefully enunciated, focusing on Kenny so that he wouldn’t have to focus on Tweek. All the Princess did was raise his eyebrows slowly and give Craig one of those  _ looks _ that said ever so clearly  _ Just try and fucking stop me. _ Though there was no customary smirk, Kenny floated up to Tweek and threw his arm around the blonde’s shoulders, forcing Craig to look in Tweek’s direction.

Among other things, one detail struck the Noirette. His warpaint was a mess, and Craig fucking knew why.

_ Fuck… _

“I put  _ everything _ in line for you, I did everything I could, and it still wasn’t enough. What more does the universe want from me? Might as well just hit the restart button again because last time at least you two were talking. I mean, what even is this?? What happened to the two of you?” As if he didn’t know, as if he hadn’t laid out for Craig exactly what had happened. The Noirette’s stomach twisted as Tweek let out a cry of protest, and he wished that he could make  _ something _ stop. Kenny if he was lucky. It would be nice if Tweek stopped making those pained sounds, probably. Hopefully his own heart would stop too while he was at it.

As Tweek tried to throw Kenny off, the boy continued, “I mean far be it from lil’ ol’ me to be your couple’s therapy, but shit, even  _ Kyle _ isn’t this angsty and we all know he’s been struggling with the fact he’s gay for his super best friend for years!” Clamping his arm around Tweek’s shoulders a little tighter so the blond couldn’t escape, the boy continued, “For instance, Craig Fucker, has anyone told you that you’re the biggest fuck wit in the galaxy? And Tweeky! You’re such a horribly deluded little mess, I don’t even know how to begin to help you!”

_ Okay, that’s it. _ Instantly, Craig opened his mouth and growled, “Will you leave him the fuck alone?”

At almost the same moment, Tweek chose that time to screech, “NGH- S-STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT!!!”

_ Wait, what? _ Staring at Tweek with wide eyes, Craig caught the boy’s gaze for a fraction of a second and in that moment, he saw a million emotions that shouldn’t have been in Tweek’s eyes, before the blond jerked his head around and hunched his shoulders, finally succeeding in jerking free of Kenny. “Jesus, l-let’s just get this over with,” Tweek mumbled, twitching hard and gripping his arms hard enough that Craig could see the white marks he was leaving behind.

Whistling through his teeth, Kenny turned back to look at Craig and raised an eyebrow before silently falling into line with Tweek, no further inflammatory remarks on their way. Craig, meanwhile, just kept staring at Tweek, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do with this. God, it was all so fucked. On one hand, Craig kept fucking up, but on the other, Tweek kept giving him chances, even though he had no reason to.  _ So he must still care, right? _

Or maybe letting go was just as hard for Tweek as it was for Craig.

_ Well good. Fuck, I’m not going to let this keep happening, he’s miserable, he’s said as much. He would talk to me, but he can’t, and we’re both fucking cowards for it. But at least he has a good excuse, I’ve got nothing. _ Next time he had the chance, he’d fucking do it right. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to make everything better, but he wasn’t going to hide any longer.  _ I’ve said it, I’ve thought it, now I just have to do it. _

Yeah. Which would  _ totally _ be the easy part.

But now wasn’t the time to think about it. Right now, Craig’s immediate concerns involved Cartman, or more specifically, playing the stupid game. Honestly, he wasn’t all that upset about it. Sure, he’d spent the past few days sulking, but to a certain extent, he’d missed running around with his friends. Even if Tweek wasn’t talking to him, there was Token and Clyde and heck, all the other Humans were pretty alright too.

So when he turned into Cartman’s backyard with the rest of the boys, he pushed as much of the clawing, angry, and painful feelings to the back of his mind and focused on the present. It was harder than it sounded, but then, it sounded pretty hard, so maybe Craig was being unreasonable. Thankfully, Tweek chose to vanish into the crowd of milling boys rather quickly and Token was there before Craig’s mind could start down the path that Tweek’s clear avoidance of him took him down.

“Finally, you’re here,” Token commented, though it hardly needed to be said. It was funny, half the time, he liked to point out the obvious, the other half of the time, Token’s comments were so obscure Craig couldn’t even begin to make heads or tails of them. There was no in between. Looking Craig up and down, the black boy instantly followed his own statement up with a softer, “You’re staying at Clyde’s house tonight.” That was it, no suggestion, just a fact. Craig didn’t disagree, he simply nodded his head once.

“Well heya F-Feldspar!” Butters said brightly, appearing beside Kenny as if from thin air. “It’s been awhile since y’ve been around, I thought y’might’ve quit the game’re somethin’!!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kenny chirpped, his usual princess voice sounding sinister, “Fucker thinks this game is far too important to just  _ abandon _ it.” As Butters started to open his mouth, and Kenny began to giggle, Craig decided that he wasn’t in the mood for any bullshit and started away from them, leaving Token to huff and spin about so he could keep pace.

“Why didn’t you ignore us?” Token asked bluntly, crossing his arms when Craig stopped abruptly, standing in the midst of the swell of boys, stock still.  _ Because look where ignoring the problem got me before. _ But he couldn’t say that, could he? Not here. Not when nothing hadn’t  _ changed. _ Which is why, as Craig’s eyes wandered over to Tweek, who was huddling at the front of the other kids, he lied, the words slipping off his tongue a little too easily.

“Cause I wanted to play.”

Token snorted, that single sound saying  _ bullshit _ more effectively than any word could. Craig ignored him.

As it turned out, this was the right thing to do because Cartman chose that moment to walk out of the castle with all the pomp and circumstance of a real king, and not just a shitty replacement. At once, the boys attempted to organize themselves, all shuffling out by rank and relevance as was expected at this point. Dutifully, Craig moved to the front, Token leading the way.

Perhaps it was the universe’s idea of a good joke, but somehow, Craig ended up next to Tweek. The tension that instantly sprang up was palpable and Craig had to force his eyes forward to keep them from straying in the twitchy blond’s direction.  _ It’s not like it’s going to do any good. _

Apparently deeming them to be organized enough, Cartman raised his staff and announced, “Gentlemen, thank you for gathering here, today.” Twitching his hand towards Kenny, who was standing off to the side twirling a piece of that damned wig between his thumb and forefinger, Cartman continued, “Thanks to Princess Kenny, the fairest maiden in all the land, and Tweek, our brave barbarian, our Thief has been retrieved and most of our army has been assembled.”

Giving them all serious looks, Cartman continued, “I hardly think it bears repeating the reason for which we are gathered here today. I’m sure, after all, that you’re all aware that the Stick of Truth has been stolen. Taken from us by the vicious Drow Elves.” There was murmuring, Craig had to wonder if the sound was just pre-programmed in to these kinds of speeches, just for added effect.

Lifting his hands once more in an appeal for calm, Cartman continued, “But now! It is time for us to take back that which is rightfully ours!” From beside Craig, Tweek let out an involuntary sound. Every cell in Craig’s body wanted to just  _ look _ at Tweek, in an attempt, perhaps, to calm him, but he resisted. He knew better than anyone that it would only make things worse.  _ I need to talk to him, until then, staring at him is only going to make it harder. _

Oblivious to Craig’s inner thoughts, Cartman dramatically said, “A carrier Raven has come with news that the Stick of Truth has not yet been taken to the Elven Forest.” Another bout of murmuring, then, “It is in the possession of… The Bard”

_ Jimmy? _

Scott Malkinson gasped. “The Bard?!”

Unexpectedly, or perhaps entirely expectedly, Tweek let out a shriek. “Oh GOD!! Ngh- not the Bard!!”

From near Kenny, Butters stumbled forward and insisted, “B-but the Bard’s got all them mercenaries on ‘is side an’ stuff~ An’ he’s really strong! How’re we supposed to get somethin’ back from him?”

Stepping out from the rest of the boys, Token cleared his throat and plainly said, “To be fair, Grand Wizard, the Bard is not someone we can just thumb our noses at. He might have once been a mere mercenary, but make no mistake, he’s a full Drow Elf now and has quite a bit more power than you might expect. It would be dangerous to attempt to take him on.”

Cartman crossed his arms and huffed, clearly not happy with the answer he’d received. “Do I look like I care?” he asked, one eyebrow raising.

As Tweek let out another shriek of fear, Craig decided to put his own two cents in. “It would be suicide,” he stated bluntly.

Kenny giggled. “As if you’d know what  _ that _ looked like, Fu- sorry,  _ Tucker.” _

Glaring at everyone, Cartman spoke over the remaining dissension and said, “Regardless, if the carrier ravens are correct, the Bard is hiding out at the Inn of the Giggling Donkey. We must find him before he’s able to take the Stick of Truth to the Elven Forest, and ultimately,  _ Kyle.” _

Before anyone could step in and argue, Cartman quickly said, “Not everyone will be coming with us, of course, many of you must go out and reinforce the boundaries we’ve worked hard to set in place. I won’t lose progress just because of a little… accident.” He said the word like there was something behind it. “Those of you who will be coming will only be my most trusted.” Lifting his chin, Cartman added, “Also, I have elected to come as well. This must be handled with precision, I won’t have this smoke kindling into a fire.”

Instantly recognizing that he was one of those ‘most trusted’, Craig stopped listening. Instead, he finally gave into the almost irrepressible urge to turn and look at Tweek. The boy was breathing shallowly, anyone could have seen that, but Craig could instantly tell he was trying his best to keep it under control.  _ Is he trying to prove himself to me? _ Something new sank in his stomach, and Craig wanted to groan. Tweek should know better than to believe he needed to prove  _ anything _ to Craig. But maybe he’d put a little more stock in that belief than he should have.

“Craig, we’re leaving.” Turning quickly towards the expectant Token, Craig muttered a soft curse under his breath before following the boy, trying to ignore the shuffling sounds of Tweek behind him as the blond finally lurched into action himself.

As they walked, Craig attempted to pull himself together. It was harder than it should have been, but also easier than he’d expected. Even though there was a lot weighing down on him, if he focused on this one task, retrieving the fucking stick and placating Cartman, it became a little easier to tune out the feelings that threatened to crush him. Tweek, for some reason, stuck near to him, even though neither of them acknowledged the presence of the other. Maybe it was some sort of habit that was hard to shake, but Craig hoped that chalking it up to another sign that Tweek hadn’t let go wasn’t too far off the mark.

Beside him, Token was silent, that thoughtful expression on his face as usual. Though Craig didn’t pretend to be an expert in reading people, he would have likened the look to one he’d have related to someone trying to do an equation in their head. Except Token would have been able to put something that simple together in a moment, so something wasn’t lining up.  _ When does life ever, though? _

Catching Craig’s eye, Token straightened and hummed under his breath before saying, “Clyde’s not here.” At the words, Craig started and looked around. He hadn’t noticed the boy’s absence until that moment. He’d been too focused on his own problems with Tweek. But now that Token mentioned it, Craig realized he was right. Among the small group of people Cartman had brought, Clyde did not feature.

“He hasn’t texted me,” Craig said instantly, remembering how Clyde had specifically said he was playing the game today and furrowing his brows at the thought. “Do you know what-”

“No,” Token answered, before he could even finish the question. “But Kenny knows.” How the boy had figured this one out, Craig had no idea. Something was clearly amiss, but for the life of him, the Noirette couldn’t divert enough mental energy to figure out what that thing was.  _ He’s probably fine, right? _ It was Clyde, he was always fine.

“So?” Craig asked at last, unsure what else he was supposed to say. “Kenny knows everything, he’s full of shit.” It was the usual answer he had when it came to anything to do with Kenny. Considering all the shit he’d had to deal with over the past few days concerning the boy, Craig felt it was appropriate. Token, however, seemed to be more than ready to call out the taller boy’s bullshit today.

Giving him one of those raised eyebrows, a look that very clearly said,  _ and you’re not? _ Token cleared his throat before carefully stating, “He can’t be both of those things Craig, and I think we both know which one he isn’t.” Lifting his head once more and scanning their surroundings, the black boy continued, “Something happened, and I doubt we’re about to find out what.”

Remembering what Token had said earlier, Craig shrugged as easily as he could and said, “I’m staying over at his house tonight. I’ll ask him.” Once again, Token hummed, but he didn’t disagree with Craig’s words, which was at least a little bit comforting. It meant that despite whatever flaws Token had managed to find with Craig’s solution, he was satisfied that it would get the job done.  _ Well if you can think of something better, do it yourself. _

As they followed Cartman and the others across the street, Tweek letting out a nervous yelp as they did so, Token at last opened his mouth again. “You left your ring at my house last week.” It was a complete change of topic, and it took Craig a moment to catch up. His attempts weren’t helped by the fact that Tweek’s breath hitched at the words. Even when he wasn’t right next to the Noirette, Craig found him very  _ very _ distracting.

But after a moment’s puzzling, because goodness knew Token wasn’t about to give out any clues, something slipped into place and the light came on.  _ The mood ring. Bebe. My girlfriend. Ah shit. _ “Oh,” he muttered, scuffing his sneakers along the ground. Letting out a breath, Craig rolled his neck slightly and said, “I guess I did.”

A soft chuckle. “You’re predictable.” Whatever that was supposed to mean. After a moment more of silence, which was filled by Tweek’s soft noises as the boy stumbled along behind them, Token spoke again. “You never wear it.”

That didn’t take any thought. “No, not really.”

“Rrr- B-bebe never wears her’s either!”

Craig had to fight to keep moving, because at the sound of Tweek’s voice directed at him, everything in him sort of froze up. Judging by the panicked sounds that quickly tumbled out of the blond, he hadn’t thought he was going to say anything either. As he let half of his brain short-circuit over the fact that Tweek had spoken, Craig attempted to focus on what the boy had actually said.  _ Bebe doesn’t wear the ring? Heh, I don’t blame her, it’s stupid. _ But at the same time, Craig almost felt some measure of relief run through him, the thought that Bebe didn’t take the whole thing seriously either.

As though Tweek’s addition into the conversation had been entirely anticipated, Token smoothly followed up with, “No, she doesn’t.” Staring at Craig with those unnervingly calculating eyes, Token waited for a beat before saying, “In fact, I don’t think she ever planned on wearing it either.” 

With a terrible and impressive air of finality, Token said, “But then, neither did you.”

From the front of the group, Cartman called, “Token, there are things I need to discuss with you! Your presence is required.”

Shooting the Noirette one last meaningful look, the black boy shrugged and said, “I hope we get the Stick back,” before striding forward to where Cartman was. All Craig could do was stare after him, lost in the implications of everything that Token had said.

One way or another, he realized, things were coming to an end. It was just up to him to make sure that end was as painless as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, yep, it sucked. Don't worry though, it'll get more interesting, if not better. Promise. Like, pinky promise even.
> 
> Mama T? Children? If you're reading this, Mom's home~


	81. Misled or Misinformed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s this?? A chapter?? WELL I’LL BE DARNED AND IT ISN’T EVEN ANGST!  
> Hey, I did say it was going to be over *apologetic finger guns*  
> I know I know, I’ve been gone for _forever_ but this next week, I should be able to post every day, and you know me and posting every day. *Chuckles* it’s my favoritest thing to do~
> 
> Thanks to Bebe (Blue_Noize) for posting this chapter for me. As the eldest daughter over in the discord, she’s stepped up to the plate in bringing y’all this treasure (or piece of trash, it’s up to you) so yeah, say thank you to her and do yourselves a favor and just check out her story _Of Overactive Minds and Toxic Thoughts_. Cause it’s kind awesome (okay really awesome) and she deserves the love ;)
> 
> Imma shut up now~
> 
> Enjoy

Tweek wasn’t sure what he was supposed to think, but he was starting to wonder if  _ not _ thinking was a safer bet. 

He was still trailing behind Craig, having found no will to move even after the conversation he’d overheard (and butted into), but part of him wished he could get  _ anywhere _ else but there. It was everything at this point, all of the singular moments that were starting to pile up to the point of obscuring his thoughts. Every time he was  _ sure _ of something, he found another reason to be unsure of it. Somewhere, it had started to become a vicious cycle.

And it all centered around Craig.  _ Jesus, why does everything do that? It can’t be healthy. _ But when had he ever been healthy?

He had no idea anymore where he stood when it came to Craig. Every time he thought he’d finally gotten it all figured out, something else got in his way and threw everything sideways. Tweek had been sure that Craig hated him and was happy without him, but then Kenny showed up saying that he wasn’t happy with Bebe and he was trying to make things right. When Tweek had gone to rescue Craig, there had been that flash of joy at seeing him that had crossed the Noirette’s face, but then Craig had closed off because clearly, he didn’t actually want Tweek around, he’d just forgotten in the heat of the moment.

And yet he’d just been handed irrefutable proof that neither Craig nor Bebe wanted to be dating each other. It was one thing to not trust Craig, especially after how many times the boy had made promises that he hadn’t kept, but it was another to disregard what Token said. The boy only dealt in logic and facts, Tweek would have to be stupid to  _ not _ believe him.

But…  _ But it all hurts, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to believe. _ Hugging his arms around his chest for a moment, Tweek gave a hard twitch before throwing his shoulders back.  _ NO! I have to be strong!! I can’t let Craig see how pathetic I really am, I’m done letting him control my emotions! _ Tweek  _ wished _ he could actually mean that and not just use it like a useless record that kept scratching over the same broken chords.

Suddenly, the murmuring that had been taking place at the front of the troup stopped, and Tweek’s head jerked around so he could see what was going on. Realizing that everyone was huddling up behind a bush, Tweek reluctantly followed, grabbing for his frying pan as he did so.  _ At least we’ll be fighting, right? Then I won’t have to think about it anymore. Just for a little while anyways. _

But of course, he ended up next to Craig. Focusing on Token’s cape instead of the taller boy crouching beside him, Tweek bit down on his lip hard, holding back any traitorous sounds that might have escaped otherwise.  _ It’s like the world hates me. _ Well, that wasn’t exactly anything new, was it? Shivering, Tweek dragged his attention towards Cartman, who was saying something at that moment.  _ Jesus, why did he come with us?! He never comes with us!! _

It was probably indicative of a bigger issue, but for the life of him, Tweek couldn’t figure out what it was.

“There it is,” Cartman was saying softly, dramatically. “The Inn of the Giggling Donkey.” Remembering the many times he’d been in there before, in the past with Craig at his side, but in more recent days with other boys at his shoulder, Tweek clenched the hand clasped around the handle of his frying pan a little tighter and tried to ignore the way that Craig glanced down at him.  _ Why can’t he make up his mind?? WHY DOES HE ACT LIKE THIS!!? I HATE IT I HATE IT I WANT OUT! _

“Token, Paladin Butters, are you  _ sure  _ the Bard is hiding out there?” Cartman asked, looking between the two boys. Token simply nodded once, his movements as smooth as ever. Of course he was certain, Tweek couldn’t recall a time when he  _ hadn’t _ been certain about something.  _ I wish I could act like that, I wish I could be sure of myself… _

“From what I could gather, yes,” Token commented, before turning to look at the Inn again. Tweek could hear the sounds of laughing boys from where he stood, and it reminded him of the silence that used to fall when Craig and he stepped into a room together.  _ Remember when we were intimidating? Remember when people used to stop and stare? _ It had been a while, hadn’t it?

Butters let out a squeak, interrupting Tweek’s rambling train of thought. “Ah, well, that’s what Twitter says,” the boy insisted, looking at Cartman with worried eyes. Though Tweek didn’t pretend to be good at reading people, he could tell the Paladin was rattled by Cartman’s presence slightly, probably because the fat Wizard never went on missions like this with them normally.

Rolling his eyes and letting out a loud huff at Butters’ words, Cartman thumped his glowing staff against the ground and snapped, “Carrier Raven, Butters!”

Quickly jumping backwards, Butters put his hands up and stuttered, “S-sorry-sorry, that is w-what the Carrier Raven says!” From behind him, Kenny pulled a face that was mostly concealed by pink lace and Cartman sighed, as if disappointed. It all felt like a play, like someone was handing them a script and forcing them to read from it.  _ Did they all get a script and I didn’t? Is that why everything is so awful?? Because this is all just some big play and I’m not doing it right? _

Shaking himself, Cartman turned towards Tweek, Craig and Token, causing the blond to let out a yelp.  _ Oh jesus, I don’t have my lines!! WHAT DO I SAY!?! _ He was about to back up when something happened that took him by surprise.

Craig stepped forward a foot and flipped Cartman off easily. It was an action that would have better fit with the boy’s personality  _ ages _ ago. Hell, Tweek couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen Craig flip someone off in quite that expressionless, instinctive nature. It definitely made Cartman do a double take, and he shuffled back a step before clearing his throat and saying, “Ah, Feldspar, Tweek, you two guard the back door. Token, Butters, Princess Kenny, let’s go inside.”

Though Tweek’s fingers itched to yank at his hair, the boy gave a violent shudder and nodded, pretending like these orders didn’t phase him in the slightest. Obviously, they didn’t affect Craig, the boy simply tucked his hand beneath his cloak once more and tipped his chin back, as if deliberately avoiding Tweek’s gaze.

Looking between Craig and Cartman, Token tapped his foot twice. “A plan would be better,” he told Cartman frankly, his gaze level.

Cartman groaned. “We don’t have  _ time _ for plans, Token. We have to get the Stick back  _ now.” _ Before the Cleric could say another word to him, the Wizard turned pointedly and pushed past Butters and Kenny so he could head for the door. Butters followed him quickly, nervously in Tweek’s opinion. The Princess gave Token a meaningful raised brow before turning as well and floating along behind the retreating pair.

“Be ready for anything,” Token instructed Tweek and Craig at last. Letting out a soft sound that he attempted to turn into a growl, Tweek screwed up his face into a determined scowl that was sort of ruined by the fact he couldn’t stay in control of his features for more than a few seconds at a time. Eyes fixing on Tweek, Token was silent for a long moment before adding, “If all goes well, we won’t need you two to intervene.”

As if the matter was settled, Token twisted around and followed after Kenny, his strides purposeful and calm.

Waiting a beat, Tweek jumped when he realized that the other boys had already disappeared inside and he was just standing there doing nothing.  _ Oh god! _ Leaping into action, Tweek barrelled towards the house, attempting to keep low so that he wouldn’t be spotted by anyone that happened to be looking out the windows. Behind him, there was the crunch of boots on pavement and Tweek felt Craig’s eyes boring into the base of his skull. “Ngh- JESUS!” he squeaked, before slapping a hand over his mouth, stifling any further sounds.

The Inn of the Giggling Donkey was actually Jimmy’s house. Tweek knew that, in a far corner of his mind, and yet his thoughts seemed to transform the place into some creaking pile of wood and thick, cloudy windows. Sticking close to the building, grateful for the heat that seemed to leak out of it around the seams, Tweek kept his eyes on the ground. From experience, he knew that back door was near the back corner of the house, so he just kept walking, moving around the decorative bushes as he was required.

Once he’d reached that corner however, Tweek remembered that Craig was behind him and quickly scurried around it, pressing himself to the wall. Predictably, tellingly perhaps, Craig stopped just short of the corner and didn’t come into view. The only sign he was there were the long, slow breaths that left tell-tale trails of condensation in their wake.

Shuddering, Tweek took a step back before looking around, lost. Here, he couldn’t hear anything from inside, and it made him feel blind. Bad enough that he was with Craig, he also had to be outside. Reaching for his hair, Tweek let out an involuntary sound before forcing himself to grip his forearms and chench his teeth.  _ It’ll be fine, he’s over there, I’m over here. It’s  _ fine. 

Amazing how effective a mere corner could be in separating two people who didn’t want to talk.

Sinking to the ground, Tweek drew in a shuddering breath and stared at the new grass attempting to poke its way through the gaps in the matted  _ dead _ above it. He kept waiting for the sounds of screams or fighting or something, but if it was there, he couldn’t hear it over his own roaring thoughts.  _ What is he thinking? What is he doing? He probably doesn’t even notice that I’m here! Why would he, I’m nothing but a nuisance. _

The clear image of Bebe laughing awkwardly as she brushed the mood ring further into a drawer appeared in Tweek’s mind.

“Fucking stupid, isn’t it?”

Tweek smacked his head on the siding of Jimmy’s house as he jerked it up in shock.

“I mean, here we are outside of one of our friend’s houses, getting ready to ambush him, all because some fat kid in a bathrobe told us to.” Craig sounded bitter, his voice came from somewhere above Tweek and it made the blond shiver even as he turned his face slightly towards the source of the voice.

“The fucking  _ Stick of Truth _ doesn’t even do anything. It’s just a stick.” It was stupid, but when he couldn’t see Craig’s face, Tweek didn’t feel like he had to run from the boy’s words. All he had to do was close his eyes and his mind conjured up a perfect picture of Craig, face flat, eyes narrowed slightly, arms crossed across his chest. Though he’d never be able to touch that image, Tweek felt like if he reached out, he just might.

“Do we even know why we’re doing this?” Craig asked, his even voice conveying frustration.

“B-because it’s fun?” Tweek found himself answering, his words ringing hollow. It wasn’t really fun, but it had once been, and that’s what he wished he could go back to. The joy, the smiles, the laughter, the rush of a battle and the satisfaction of a victory. Hell, even the devastation of a loss was preferable to this.

Craig snorted, almost like he could read Tweek’s thoughts. “Yeah, it used to be, didn’t it?” Somehow, Tweek expected Craig to launch into why things had changed, so when he didn’t it made Tweek’s eyes fly open and his head jerk around so he could stare in the direction he knew the Noirette was.  _ Do I have to say something?? What am I supposed to even say? No one tells me these things! _

Before he could clamp his mouth shut, Tweek burst out, “I used to -ngh- love this game!” Feeling stupid, a common sinking in his stomach, Tweek continued, “Things got so s-screwed up, but -ghn- Jesus I think there wasn’t any otherwayforit t-to go!” He said it, and instantly he knew it was true. Sure, he felt like he’d said it before, but saying it now made it feel real.  _ Everything _ felt unnecessarily real, down to the dead grass under his fingers and the soft breathing of Craig.

Those breaths hitched. Silence descended, and Tweek wished it didn’t have to feel so deafening.  “Not really,” the boy said at long last, his breathing returning to normal. “You know, we keep saying that things got fucked along the way, but I think that’s just because we’re looking for it now. This shit started out screwed up.”

Tweek twitched at the savage nature of Craig’s words. “It got b-better,” the blond ventured, before thinking of the past month and adding, “For a while…”

“But it didn’t stay better,” Craig muttered, and there was the sound of the boy shifting. Tweek could  _ see _ him pulling his chullo lower over his forehead, the image so powerful it made his heart ache. “Which is why it was all just a load of bullshit from the beginning.”

Unsure what he was supposed to say to that, Tweek simply drew his knees against his chest tighter and twitched, his movements rattling the siding minutely. From inside the house, he suddenly became aware of the sounds of yelling, but he paid them no heed. Neither, for all intents and purposes, did Craig.  _ I’m talking to him, _ Tweek realized suddenly.  _ For the first time in days, I’m talking to him. And it doesn’t hurt as much as it probably should. _

“Did I drag you into this?” Craig asked, suddenly, his flat words startling Tweek slightly.  _ Oh god, what’s he talking about?! _ But then the answer presented itself in the form of Craig clearing his throat and clarifying, “This mess, this  _ game, _ did I drag you into it? Did you really only join because of me?” The way he said it, like he’d been worried about it for a while, made Tweek’s breath catch lightly.

“Y-yeah,” Tweek found himself admitting. At any other time he might have lied, attempted to convince Craig and to some extent himself that he’d joined for other reasons, but at that moment, he couldn’t find it in himself to make something up. Still, he couldn’t help but mumble, “I mean, I joined b-because of Clyde too!! Jesus, I -rrr- really did want to play!” His fingers tightened in the patch of grass beside him. “But I wouldn’t have done it if y-you hadn’t been excited about it.”

It felt like a weight had lifted off of his shoulders.

“I thought I was joining because of you,” Craig said, bitterly almost. Tweek felt like he should be screaming, but he wasn’t sure why, so he held his tongue and kept listening. “I was so fucking careful, but I think I pushed you into it anyway.”

“I  _ wanted _ t-to be pushed into it,” Tweek insisted, feeling his heart clench. “I’d -ngh- never do anything if it weren’t f-for you.” He half expected his usual anxiety to strangle him and his attempts at communication at any second, but somehow, he kept talking, saying things that he hadn’t even been able to admit to himself. Something in him weakly protested that he should be angry with Craig right now, but he twitched and it was gone.

Craig was silent for another long moment, and Tweek could picture him working the blond’s words over in his head. “I wish we’d just been mercenaries or something,” Craig finally said in that collected deadpan. “Fuck everyone else, we would have been kickass without them.”

Shivering, Tweek tried to imagine it, but for once, his mind failed him. All he found was the pit of cold that he’d somehow gotten out of for a few blessed moments. “Grrr- God, it’s t-too late for that now, isn’t it?” Tweek whimpered, weakly giving into his impulses and yanking his hair down over his ears. Instantly, he hated himself for bringing it up. It was so dumb, why had he said something like that? Why couldn’t he have just kept quiet and been happy like that.

But then Craig snorted and bit out, “Yeah, I fucked  _ that _ up, didn’t I?”

Frustrated with himself more than anything, Tweek let out a growl before bursting, “JESUS I DIDN’T HELP!!!” Squeezing his eyes shut tight, Tweek found himself babbling out, “I mean -ngh- y-you didn’t help, b-but stuff wouldn’t have been so bad if I could have just  _ said _ something instead of -rrr- k-keeping quiet and ignoring everything. I just d-didn’t want anything to change.”

“Things always change,” Craig reminded the blond, resignedly. In those words, Tweek could hear the unspoken insistence that the Noirette had buried just beneath the surface.  _ I didn’t want things to change either, _ that silence said.  _ I did everything I could to stop it, but in the end, I couldn’t do shit. _

_ We both avoided everything, _ Tweek realized, his heart thumping dully.  _ We both screwed things up. _

Not just Craig. Not just him. Both of them. It was  _ always _ the two of them, together, inseparable no matter what kind of shit the ended up facing.

"You don't have to forgive me Tweek,” Craig said at last, scattering Tweek’s thoughts like so much sand. “Fuck, I haven't forgiven me,” he added, his voice conveying just how much he meant those five words. It made Tweek ache, and yet he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to break in and disagree. Not when he could practically  _ taste _ how much Craig needed to say these words. “I’m not looking for you to forget, because you can’t, and I’m not sure I can promise anything’s going to change instantly, because I physically can’t do that.”

Craig dragged in a long, shaky breath. “But please let me have one thing."

“What?” Tweek asked.

It was like the very trees held their breath.

"Don't fight against me Tweek, just fight with me"

Suddenly, the air was cut by the sound of yelling. As Tweek shot to his feet, regretfully reminded of the fact that they still had a job to do and it wasn’t to sit around, Craig muttered, “Speaking of bullshit…” Jerking around the corner, Tweek caught sight of Craig’s cloak as he slipped in through the window of the basement.

“Jesus man, wh-where are you going!?” Tweek yelped, still all kinds of off-kilter from the conversation they’d just had. Turning to look at him, Craig caught Tweek’s eyes and held them, entirely captivating him, just like he used to. It was like time stopped, and Tweek almost thought that if the Noirette kept this up, he wouldn’t need the Stick to be all powerful.

“To help some idiots and Token,” Craig finally said, his impossibly blue eyes calm. Lips twitching up slightly in the faintest memory of a smile, the boy waited for a beat before flatly informing Tweek, “And you’re going to cover me from the other end.” Then he slipped through the window, leaving the blond to let out a panicked screech before racing to the window and looking through it. Through the gloom, he was able to see Craig, on the ground holding his ankle and cursing a blue streak.

“Craig!!” he yelped, forgetting about the game for a moment in favor of leaning precariously into the basement. They’d just made progress for Christ’s sake!! He wasn’t about to lose that, not now, not after all of the torment he’d put himself through. From where he crouched, Craig’s ankle looked horribly twisted, like it was broken.  _ Oh god!!! _ Shaking his head, Tweek looked again, and all he saw was Craig chafing it.  _ Jesus, I can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t! When did I lose the ability to tell the difference!? _

“Tweek.” At the sound of Token’s calm voice, Tweek jerked his head up, bumping it against the glass of the window. As he let out a loud cry of pain and massaged the back of his skull with shaking fingers, Token said, “Listen to me, I need you to go around to the front and wait for the signal.”

“WHAT SIGNAL!?!” Tweek shrieked, clenching his hands around the sill as the ground loomed in his vision. “JESUS WH-WHAT’S GOING ON!?”

“Th-the darn ol’ Bard escaped us!” Butters exclaimed, hurring over to Craig. “ ‘e went upstairs b’fore we could catch ‘im, b-but don’t worry buddy, we’ll get ‘im soon!”

“Tweek, I think we might need you to attack from the front in a moment,” Token told Tweek, before looking towards Craig and holding out a hand, muttering something that made golden light glitter at the tips of his fingers. When Tweek blinked, they vanished, and he realized that Token was just mumbling something random. Turning back to the blond, Token continued, “We’ll be fine here. We’re going to try and catch the Bard, but we might need you to distract the people upstairs so we can get by. Can you do it?”

Glancing down at Craig, who was getting to his feet, shaking Butters off of him, Tweek swallowed hard and nodded fervently. “Y-yeah!”

“Good,” Craig said flatly, before Token could. “We’re counting on you.”

And that, to be honest, was all Tweek needed. Shimmying backwards and leaping to his feet, Tweek hurried around the house, no longer caring if someone saw him. From the house, which was starting to look more like an Inn and less like Jimmy’s home by the second, Tweek could hear the clamoring of voices and the scraping of furniture.  _ OH JESUS WHAT ARE THEY DOING?! _ Fumbling at his belt, Tweek unhooked his club and hefted it, feeling mildly comforted by the familiar weight. They were  _ counting _ on him, Craig was counting on him. Tweek wasn’t about to pretend that even after everything, that still meant something.

Oh sure, he knew that things were going to get awkward again, it was inevitable. Craig still hadn’t forgiven himself and he’d admitted that things weren’t going to change just yet. Tweek couldn’t barrel into another bad decision, not after everything that had happened.  _ Except it’s Craig, and he isn’t a bad decision. _ He didn’t have any proof to back this up with, but Tweek didn’t feel like he needed any. Because it was  _ Craig. _

There was the sound of shouting and combat from inside the house.  _ Think later, fight now. _

Racing around to the front, Tweek ran up the steps and let out a scream of frustration when he realized he was too short to see inside. Looking to the clouded glass of the windows to either side of him, Tweek let out a cry and just jumped, managing to catch a glimpse of the interior of the Inn.  _ There! _ Craig was there, fighting several mercenaries and an Elf. The whole room had been turned into a maze of upended tables and barstools.  _ JESUS I NEED TO GET IN THERE!! _

Seizing the doorknob, Tweek tried to open it, only to find it had been locked.  _ Oh Jesus!! This isn’t good!! _ Shaking his head, attempting to clear it, the Inn went back to a house and suddenly, Tweek saw it. The window, already cracked open. It wasn’t an easy way in, but it was a way. 

As reality warped around him, Tweek hung his club from his belt again before letting out a yell and leaping from the top step of the porch, hands outstretched. Managing to catch the windowsill, Tweek hoisted himself upward, fingers scrambling and heart pounding, until he managed to shimmy onto the thankfully wide ledge. Screeching as he almost pitched backwards into the bushes, Tweek caught ahold of the edge of the window and yanked up, throwing it open. Grabbing for his club, the blond didn’t bother to think.

He just jumped.

Landing on an Elf, who went down with a yell, Tweek straightened and hit the first thing he saw over the head. It turned out to be the bartender. The boy went down instantly, and Tweek winced as his body hit the floor.

But then several other boys were converging on him and Tweek recognized Philip and several other rougher mercenaries among them. Readying his club, the blond let out a feral screech and laid into them, expending the energy that had been building up in his system for days. After talking to Craig, it was like all his emotions were allowed to flow out of him, making every swing more powerful, every attack more deadly. Cleaving through an Elven mercenary, Tweek stumbled back and attempted to take a breath, having expended far too much of his oxygen simply yelling nonsense.

“TWEEK!” At the sound of Craig’s yell, Tweek’s head whipped around and he only just managed to get his club up in time to stop the blade that had been aimed at his throat. Philip growled, and Tweek was sent tripping backwards as the boy shoved him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?!” the Elf yelled at him, his blade coming for Tweek once more. “This is Elven territory now. You  _ Humans _ have no place here.”

Screaming as the sharp, heavy blade got  _ this close _ to cutting off his left arm, Tweek rolled to the side and screeched right back, “WE’LL M-MAKE OURSELVES A PLACE HERE THEN!!!” Catching the taller boy across the stomach with his club, Tweek threw all of his strength into the blow and managed to almost bodily lift Philip off his feet before sending him crashing through a tangle of bar stools. 

“Fucking  _ finally,” _ Craig announced, coming through the wreckage, his blue eyes blazing with life. For a moment, Tweek thought he was seriously annoyed with him, but then he caught the gleam in the boy’s eyes, and he found himself laughing in his usual, high-pitched way.

Behind Craig, Butters came through, helping the limping Cartman along. “Th-they took Princess Kenny!!” the boy announced, his eyes wide and worried. “Quick, we ‘ave to do somethin’!”

Token opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off as more Elves poured in through the back door, their weapons already drawn. Changing what he’d been about to say, Token quickly ordered, “Craig, Butters, Cartman, get upstairs. We need to get to the Bard before they do.”

“You go too!!” Tweek found himself saying, drawing his short sword as he did so. “I’ll hold them back.”

“They won’t know what hit them.”

Craig’s words, more than anything, inspired confidence in Tweek.

“No,” he agreed, twitching hard to one side before grinning. “They w-won’t.”

Then he flew at his new opponents.

They were good, there was no denying it, but Tweek was a  _ demon. _ There was nothing that could have saved them. Even without Craig at his side, Tweek put down Elves left and right. It helped, of course, that he was a higher level than them, but it wouldn’t have mattered regardless. Each enemy was put down with the same quick, swift wrath that only he could deliver. 

In the back of his head, he could hear Craig’s voice, calmly telling him that he was doing a good job and it made Tweek feel like he might’ve been able to do anything, if given the opportunity. Stupid, yes, but Tweek never claimed to be smart. Swinging his sword with deadly accuracy and hitting anything that didn’t go down with his club, Tweek cut through the attacking Elves like they were paper. At one point, golden light enveloped him and he thanked his lucky stars for Token, but for the most part, it was nothing but one long sheet of red.

Above him, he could hear the sounds of fighting, and it filled him with something like determination. He could picture Craig, a shadow with a sharp edge, a Thief who stole the breath right from your lungs, and it made him want to shout. This  _ this _ was something he’d missed. It had been so long since he’d felt like he had Craig behind him, supporting him, and it was a feeling he never wanted to end. He didn’t need to be protected, he  _ was _ strong, he just needed Craig there to catch him when he was done being strong and put that fire in his bones that he couldn’t find anywhere else.

Caffeine would never compare. This was pure adrenaline, liquid power in motion. Tweek might have been tired of the game, but he would never tire of this feeling.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately for the Elves, eventually Tweek ran out of things to hit. Twitching, wiping the sweat and blood off of his face but only succeeding in streaking it further, the blond jerked his head towards the stairs and hurried for them. Scaling them two at a time, Tweek came skidding into the other Humans, his weapons waving wildly.

“Tweekers, just the Barbarian I was hoping to see~” Kenny’s dress was torn and his hair was a muss, but he still grinned when he saw Tweek. “I trust you  _ dealt _ with the trash below.”

“Ngh- YESIDID!!” Tweek screeched, his wild eyes only looking for one person.

As if sensing who, Token calmly said, “Craig’s in the attic right now, he’s trying to get through to the Bard’s room. He’s got himself locked in there with magic that’s too powerful for us to undo without the Stick in our possession.” Looking up towards the ladder that was indeed protruding from the ceiling, Tweek leaped back and let out a growl.

_ Jesus he could die up there!! Attics are so dangerous!! _ But it was Craig, so he’d be fine. As if to prove this, there was the sound of Jimmy exclaiming, “Oh boy, I did n-n-n-not think of th-th- I didn’t think of that!” A second later, the door opened and Tweek followed the other boys as they poured into the room. 

“You’ve nowhere to run, Bard!” Cartman announced, pointing a meaty finger at Jimmy, who was still grinning as if this was all horribly amusing to him. “Give me the Stick of Truth!”

Waving about the Stick, almost mockingly, Jimmy tipped his head back and called, “Take it from me if you can, W-w-wizard K-king~” When Cartman hesitated, the boy rolled his neck and said, “Step forward now, and fulfill your de- d-de- Step forward now and f-fulfill your destiny!”

Clearly rankled by this, Cartman got in Jimmy’s face, though he kept back as if afraid of the power the boy held. “You’re no match for a Grand Wizard!” Cartman insisted, though Tweek thought that Jimmy looked much more menacing, glowing from inside like he was, filled with the power of the Stick of Truth.

“The Stick belongs with  _ us,” _ Jimmy told Cartman, getting closer to the boy and smirking challengingly. “I will not h-hesitate to use every p-p-p-power it has given me to to keep it from the hands of you filthy  _ Humans.” _

“Fine, you wanna throw down brah,” Cartman said, suddenly breaking character. Stepping to the side, the fat boy looked at Craig and Tweek, before smirking. “Tweek, Feldspar, kick his ass.”

_ Wait, no! _ The fervor of battle drained from Tweek almost instantly at those words. Jimmy was his friend, or if not his friend then at least Craig’s friend. He couldn’t do something like that. It was obvious that Craig was having similar misgivings, given the way he backed up and furrowed his brows as if to say  _ my hands are clean of this. _

“Tweek, Craig,” Cartman repeated, dropping Craig’s fake name in his irritation. “I said, kick his ASS!”

“No,” Craig said stoutly, flipping Cartman off. Even though he wasn’t sure what made him do it or even if it was okay, Tweek stood shoulder to shoulder with Craig and nodded. 

“Yeah!” And then, because he couldn’t help himself, “F-fuck you Cartman!”

For a moment, Cartman’s face just started to turn red, and Tweek was sure he was about to explode at them, but then Kenny shook himself free of Butters’ supporting arm and said, haughtily Tweek thought, “Oh my  _ god, _ sometimes a girl just has to do  _ everything.” _

Before anyone could say anything, Kenny yanked down the front of his dress and Tweek yelped and closed his eyes, not really wanting to see something like that. Butters let out a similar cry of protest, and Craig swore angrily, but Jimmy made an appreciative sound that was quickly followed the the sound of something very hard hitting something that wasn’t as hard as it was.

It was only once Tweek heard the clatter of Jimmy falling to the floor that he opened his eyes and found Kenny adjusting his dress once more and picking up the Stick, clearly pleased with himself. “Sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do,” he said matter o’ factly, nodding once. “And sometimes, that means waving some tits around.”

“Princess!” Butters squeaked, just as Cartman let out a strangled sound, as if he was caught between laughter and complete dumbfounded disbelief.

Naturally, it was Token who found his voice first. “Well, at least we have the Stick.” Actually, Tweek would have been surprised if he’d been affected at all. This was  _ Token _ they were talking about.

Pulling himself together, Cartman hurried forward and took the Stick from Kenny, giving the Princess a gracious smile as he did so. “Token is right, the Stick is ours!” Even though the last minute had drained most of his battle craze, Cartman’s words still drew a cheer from Tweek that was echoed by the others. “Now, we must return to Kupa Keep and put the Stick back in its rightful place!”

But as Craig accepted the Stick from Cartman, and the other boys started to file out of the room, still excited over the battle, Tweek caught the smile the Noirette threw him, and he felt like the thing that had really been put back in its rightful place was his heart.

And that was an  _ amazing _ feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowow, definitely not how I originally planned for it to go, but let’s be honest, this was better. And it felt right. And next chapter is going to be a Bebe perspective but fshhhh don’t tell anyone~~ Especially not Blue_Noize XD
> 
> Love and hugs to all of my adoptive children (which means all of you) and so many Jewish Ginger Thigh Hugs to my children back at the Shitshow. Y’all are so amazing, I can’t even begin to explain.
> 
> _Especially you babe, even though you'll never see this. I love you~_


	82. The Nature Of Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bebe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Slides in like a mother fucker* Told you I'd be back~ And look at me, keeping my promises for once.
> 
> This chapter's for you Bebe, my beautiful daughter. I adore you ;)
> 
> Enjoy.

_ Men, never answering their stupid phones. _

Huffing, Bebe tossed her hair over her shoulder and went back to pacing, not irritated per say, but definitely not overjoyed about the current happenings. She’d been like this for the past ten minutes at  _ least _ but probably more.

“Y’know, you can sit down if you want…?” Scott Malkinson ventured from where he was sweeping the drawbridge of the ‘castle’. Spinning to face him, Bebe was about to snap before she remembered that just because her nerves were frazzled didn’t mean she had to take it out on someone else. Besides, when she stared at the rosy cheeked boy, she felt a stab of sympathy run through her. Of course they’d leave him behind, that was absolutely typical of Cartman…

Managing a composed smile, Bebe softly laughed and said, “Thank you, but I’ll be alright.” Neurotically perhaps, Bebe checked her phone screen again, sighed, and shook her head. “It won’t be long, I’m sure.”

Tentatively, Scott said, “Um… They went out to get the Stick back, you know that, right?” When Bebe huffed, he quickly took a step back, “I mean, of course you do!!” Once again feeling guilty, Bebe forced herself to stop pacing so she could give Scott Malkinson her full attention.

_ Who went with them? _ Bebe wanted to ask, but that was obsessive, so she simply forced herself to put her phone away and take a deep breath. “Actually, I didn’t know they’d gone out to retrieve the  _ Stick _ I just knew they were fighting,” she informed the boy, trying to carry herself with the ‘dignity and grace’ that Wendy was always harping on about. “Thank you for telling me, I guess it makes sense that they’d be gone this long then.”

The only reason she was here was because no one had been answering her texts. It seemed like such a stupid thing, Bebe knew that. She knew it, and yet it still irritated her. Well, she kept saying irritated but really she meant worried. Okay, and a little annoyance, but mostly concern. Over the past hour, she’d texted Clyde no less than  _ four _ times and she’d texted Craig twice and neither of them had  _ answered. _ Now, it made sense that they were keeping silent if they were off fighting, but it still irked her.

Clyde  _ always _ answered, she’d actually gotten pretty used to being able to text him and get an answer within a few minutes at most. Craig was more likely to wait for thirty or fourty minutes before answering, but that was  _ Craig, _ and she didn’t blame him. Even  _ she _ got a little lackadaisical about answering his texts, and she was usually very good with social things.

Aloud, she added, “I’m sorry, I’m being impatient, I’ll sit down.” Attempting to put some purpose into her movements, Bebe swept over to the weapons table that Clyde usually manned and hopped up onto one of the emptier side tables. Looking over the wares, Bebe recognized the happy brunet’s patterns of organization and smiled despite herself. Clearing her throat, suddenly feeling very self-conscious, Bebe asked, “Ah, do you know where they went?” 

Looking relieved, Scott returned to sweeping, almost like he needed to do something with his hands. “They went off to the Giggling Donkey,” he said, his lanky brown hair falling into his face a bit as he bent over his work. “I mean, that’s what they said they were doing. It’s all a mess after we lost the stick earlier today.”

“What happened?” Bebe queried, genuinely curious. Though the game felt a little drawn out at this point, she still found herself awed by how elaborate a simple game of pretend had turned out to be.  _ Big enough that it drew the girls in. Big enough we had a wedding because of it. _ At the thought, she rubbed her ring finger absently.

“Clyde!” Scott Malkinson exclaimed, unexpectedly. “He lost the Stick to the Elves today!”

Feeling the blood start to drain from her face because there was no way this story was going to end well, Bebe demanded, “And?”

“Well,” the boy said, turning his round face up to look at her. “The Grand Wizard went and kicked him out. Banished him from the game, I think.”

_ Oh no…  _ And Bebe’s mind might’ve gone down that path, but at that moment, there was a loud cheer and the gate of Cartman’s yard burst open, admitting the jubilant boys that tumbled through it. She could tell they’d won, just based on the aura hanging around them. It was one of victory, and of happiness. Looking among them, Bebe quickly picked Craig out from the crowd.

The Noirette’s head was held high and though Bebe might have been imagining it, she thought she caught the memory of a smile playing around his eyes.  _ So something good’s happened.  _ There wasn’t much that made Craig smile. After dating the boy for a month, Bebe had learned each individual thing that made Craig truly happy, and right about now, there was only one explanation for that kind of reaction from the boy. Eyes shifting, Bebe instantly found the reason.

Tweek’s whole face was  _ glowing. _ His vibrant green eyes were full to bursting with excitement and  _ hope, _ an emotion Bebe hadn’t seen on the boy’s face for a long time. Over the past month, she’d had reason to get to know Tweek, and she’d been forced to watch the decline of his condition, as she tended to call it. The slow slip back into neurosis that he’d been experiencing, or perhaps, suffering from. Right now though, he looked positively delighted.

_ And this is where plans change. _

Originally, she’d planned on snatching Craig away, mostly because she’d finally summoned the courage to do so, but at that moment, what she really wanted to do was grab Tweek and not only find out why he was happy, but also keep Craig from ruining it. She probably should have trusted the boy more, but she honestly didn’t, not when it came to delicate emotional issues anyway. And this, though neither of them would probably be willing to admit it, definitely constituted as an emotional situation.

Which is why she slipped of the table and waltzed over to them, carrying herself with all the grace that she’d learned over her nine years of life, and didn’t react when the other boys parted for her, immediately recognizing her as something to respect.  _ Well, they aren’t  _ exactly _ wrong…  _ Allowing a glittering smile to cross her face when she looked at Craig, pushing all the things she really wanted to discuss with him to the back of her head, Bebe said, “Hello Craig~” Then she took another two steps forward and looped her arm through Tweek’s, pulling him out of the other boys.

“B-Bebe!!” Tweek squeaked in surprised, twitching violently and looking up at her with eyes that were just a little too telling.  _ Oh Tweek, if you knew how easy it was to read you, you’d never leave the house again. _ But she didn’t say that, instead she just giggled and batted her eyelashes at Craig’s raised eyebrow.

“Hey everyone, I’m just here to steal Tweek away!” she sang, her voice a breath of warm air. “I hope that’s alright with you guys. I mean, I  _ know _ you’ve just had a battle, but you got the Stick back, so I doubt you’ll need him for anything pressing, right?” Okay, she’d sort of inferred about half of that, but really, would the boys be able to tell one way or another?

True to form, Craig’s eyes took on a puzzled look and he flatly asked, “Sure?” as if he wasn’t entirely certain it was okay or not.

“Of course you can, Bebe~” Kenny tittered from where he was linked arm and arm with Butters.  _ Those two are so obvious. I swear, this town is full of idiots. _ “After all, who better to entrust our wonderful Tweekers with than your esteemed presence?” Giggling, as she was almost required to do given the circumstances, Bebe waved her hand at Kenny, as if batting away his compliments.

“Oh Lady McCormick, you’re too kind,” she insisted.

“Wait, where am I g-going?!” Tweek asked, his head whipping back and forth from Kenny to Craig to Bebe. “Ngh- w-what’s going on??”

“Just to my house, Tweek,” Bebe insisted, all but dragging the shivering blond along with her, giving him no choice but to follow. Though he was a boy, Bebe was taller than him and bigger in general, so it was no feat to move him. It helped that he wasn’t exactly trying to stop her. Navigating her way out of the yard, Bebe didn’t let go of the blond until they were safely out of what she liked to call ‘Craig range’. She was of course referring to the distance at which Tweek would decide that running back to the Noirette was easier than dealing with any given new situation. Just as she’d suspected he would, Tweek cast a worried look over his shoulder at the closing gate, but he still followed Bebe as she purposefully walked down Cartman’s walkway.

“Why am I going t-to your house??” Tweek questioned nervously, hurrying to keep up with her. He didn’t have his usual fur pelt around his shoulders, and it made Bebe could just looking at him. “Why do you -ghn- wanna talk to me?”

_ Because I’m avoiding talking to Craig, _ Bebe thought privately. “Because I thought it would be fun to hang out with you!” she burbled instead, her tone bright and peppy. “Come on Tweek, it’s been a  _ week _ since I’ve gotten to see you! How’ve you been? What’s going on?”

She already knew the answer to at least the second question, but she asked it anyway, because she’d learned that one of the best ways to gather information was just  _ talking to people. _ Laugh all you wanted, but Bebe prided herself in never shying away from a conversation with someone else, and it was for this reason that she knew almost everyone in the town. Besides, her questions always seemed to make people settle down, especially boys. It was almost like the  _ expected _ girls to ask a lot of silly questions, and they relaxed when they did just that.

Tweek relaxed slightly, though he was still wound tighter than a screw.  _ When is he  _ not,  _ honestly… _ “Oh Jesus!! I- I dunnohowIvebeen…” the boy pushed out, suddenly finding his hands really interesting. “I mean t-today was pretty fun!! And -rrr- I got to talk to C-Craig! And s-stuff…”  _ Well, considering you haven’t said a word to him these past few days, I’m sure that’s a great relief to both of you. _

But instead of saying that, Bebe simply said, “Oh that’s wonderful! So, tell me about the battle…-”

As Tweek talked, Bebe let part of her mind drift while the rest of it kept track of what the blond was saying. There was a lot rolling around up there after all. The first thing that came up was Clyde.  _ Kicked out did Scott say. _ At the thought, her stomach rolled a little bit.

She must have pulled a face because Tweek quickly yelped. “OH GOD DON’T WORRY THEY -GRRR- DIDN’T ACTUALLY RAPE HIM!!!” _ Okay… _ “B-but they almost did!! And if it weren’t for Butters and Craig -ngh- they would have!! JESUS MAN, I LOOKED UP RAPE ONCE AND IT’S HORRIBLE!!”

“It is,” Bebe agreed, somewhat absently. While Tweek returned to recounting the events that had transpired at the Giggling Donkey, her thoughts returned to Clyde. Though everyone else had been tiring of the game, the brunet had been loving it. To get kicked out of it… Well, Bebe hoped he was okay.  _ I should go visit him tomorrow and make sure everything is alright. _

Because Clyde loved the game, and he would definitely be upset over the whole thing.  _ Mostly. You know he was getting tired of your marriage to Craig. _ Oh god, that was a whole can of worms that Bebe had been avoiding opening for far too long. Until today that is, except she’d still avoided the matter so she was still edging around it.  _ Bother… This isn’t how I pictured my evening going… _

“And th-then Craig unlocked the door and let us all in! B-but Cartman wanted us to fight Jimmy and JESUS I DIDN’T WANT TO!!! B-but it was okay, I guess because -rrr- Kenny did instead!” Tweek’s face turned bright red at that, which is what drew Bebe’s attention back to what he was saying. Raising her eyebrows, only able to imagine what the sandy blond boy had done to provoke that sort of reaction from Tweek, Bebe quickly filed the story away in her head for later before changing the subject.

“So you and Craig finally talked!” Tweek let out a strangled screech, and Bebe watched as his face paled as if only just realizing that, yes, they  _ had _ talked.

“OH GOD WE DID!!!” Tweek yelled, yanking on his hair and twitching violently. “WHYDIDIDOTHAT!?!?” Waiting for the boy to calm down, Bebe gently nudged him up her drive, which they’d already reached. “Oh Jesus,” the boy moaned, his eyes rolling. “I acted so s-stupid, didn’t I?? He p-probably thinks I’m so stupid now…”

Sighing, Bebe said, “Okay, why would you say that?” Letting Tweek in through the front door, Bebe hurried over to the coat closet and grabbed one of the sweatshirts Clyde had lent her a couple weeks ago that her mom had forced her to hang up, and walked over to the blond with it. “I bet you didn’t say anything stupid.”

“Ngh- how can you  _ know _ that?” Tweek asked, taking the sweatshirt from her and staring at it in utter confusion. “Y-you don’t get it!! He said a whole bunch of stuff at the end and AUGH I SHOULD HAVE S-SAID SOMETHING BACK!!!”

Taking the sweatshirt back, Bebe carefully helped Tweek into it, guiding the boy’s arms through the sleeves and helping him navigate the hood and headhole. “Well, what did he say?” Bebe asked calmly, finding listening to Tweek talk about Craig made her feel a little better too. There was something about the twitchy blond that naturally made her happy. Maybe it was mean, but he made her feel put together, even when she most definitely  _ wasn’t. _ And okay yes that was wrong, but she liked other things about Tweek, so she felt like she could have this one weird thing without feeling guilty about it.

“He s-said…” Suddenly falling silent, Tweek fiddled with the overlarge sleeves before mumbling, “Jesus, th-this is Clyde’s, isn’t it??” When Bebe gave him a surprised look, Tweek awkwardly explained, “Ngh- I can smell his house on it! And it’s scratchy. All his c-clothing is scratchy.” Deciding to let it go, Bebe laughed musically and pulled Tweek towards her staircase.

“You’re right, it’s Clyde’s!” the girl said brightly, hurrying up towards her room. “He lent it to me and I guess I never gave it back.” She knew full well that Tweek had changed the subject, but she hardly blamed the boy. There was a lot going on, and from what the boy had told her about the battle, Tweek and Craig had come to an  _ understanding. _ What they understood was a mystery, but Bebe felt like she could put most of the pieces in without too much trouble.

They were both unbelievably easy to read, after all.

“Ngh-” Glancing behind her, Bebe looked at Tweek, who was staring at the hand that she had clasped in her own. Catching her eye, he let out a soft screech before reaching for his hair, which he yanked hard. “JESUS WHY AREN’T YOU DATING CLYDE!?!?”

The moment the words had left his mouth, Tweek slapped a hand over it and gave her a panicked look, like he wanted to run away. Unwilling to let him get away so easily, Bebe half pushed, half pulled the boy into her room and quickly shut the door behind her so he couldn’t escape.  _ Amazing how he picks up on things when most of his mind seems hellbent on confusing him. _ Well, he’d hit the proverbial nail on the head, hadn’t he? That was exactly the question Bebe had been asking herself, and honestly, she was tired of it.

Which is why, after making sure that Tweek wasn’t going to attempt to run away, Bebe pulled the blond over to her white and pink flowery tuffet and sat him down on it before he could stop her. Busying herself with disengaging the boy from his many weapons, the girl carefully asked, “Why would you say that? I’m dating Craig, aren’t I?” A dangerous beginning, she knew, but Tweek was surprisingly good at rebounding from starts such as this.

Crossing his legs before uncrossing them, a little nervously, Tweek mumbled, “N-nevermind, I didn’t -rrr- mean to say that at all. I didn’t m-meant that!” He sounded a little desperate to make her believe it, but it was obvious that there was too much behind the words for him to truly make his attempt believable.

“Yes you did,” Bebe told him calmly. It was weird, somehow, letting the boy bring up the conversation topic made it easier for Bebe to handle. She’d been struggling, after all, with the same problem for a while. Why  _ was _ she dating Craig? It was a stupid game, the girls had almost entirely disengaged from it at this point. There wasn’t any fun in it, now that they’d gotten what they wanted. She didn’t like Craig, at least not romantically, and Bebe knew that Craig would only ever have eyes for Tweek, so why was she bothering at all?

Tweek, in his twitchy way, seemed determined to make this very point. Clearly terrified, but pushing through it, Tweek pulled at his hair and said, very fast, “Okay I did mean it butonlybecause you and C-Craig act like you d-don’t wanttobetogether and Jesus! I don’t want to m-make you think I don’t support you or anything, but I reallydon’tlikethat you two are upset all the time and why would you even be with him when you  _ clearly like Clyde oh god!!!” _

Needing to calm the boy down before he hit her lamp and knocked it over, Bebe went for the first thing she could think of, Tweek’s hair. It helped Craig calm him down, so she was sure it would work here. No, she knew it would. Grabbing for her hairbrush, which she’d left on the windowsill that morning, Bebe quickly started dragging it through Tweek’s wild hair. The action had the dual purpose of making Tweek let go of his hair and calming him down. Two good things in Bebe’s opinion.

“You’re right, I do like Clyde,” Bebe said, enunciating each word carefully. Saying them was a relief. She hadn’t been able to tell anyone about it, not even Wendy and she told the girl practically everything. No, she’d been forced to keep a lid on it, seeing as she already had a boyfriend and it would have been  _ unseemly _ to talk about another boy under those circumstances. But this was Tweek, and Tweek probably understood.

_ He likes Craig, after all, even though Craig’s dating me. _

Taking another deep breath, Bebe continued attempting to get through Tweek’s perpetual bed head as she kept talking, letting the words just trip naturally off of her tongue. “I don’t, actually, want to be dating Craig. I haven’t wanted to date him for the past month, but I suppose things were rather complicated, weren’t they?”

“I KNEW IT!!” Tweek yelped, before slapping his hands over his mouth. Looking up at her, the boy mumbled through his fingers, “I m-mean, I haven’t believed it -rrr- b-but I knew it was true I think!!”  _ Curious choice of words… _ It was amazing how open Tweek could be. Maybe it was the fact that she had her fingers in his hair and he was sitting in her room, but Tweek seemed to be more willing than usual to talk.

Letting his hands fall away from his face, Tweek rocked slightly and muttered, “Ghn- I’m so bad about th-that, believing things. It’s just… ACK CRAIG’S SO CONFUSING!!” Hah, well, that was all a matter of perspective, but Bebe didn’t interrupt, she just let Tweek ramble on. “He l-looked so happy when he was fighting with you, and- Oh God, it made me so  _ upset.” _

“He thought I was you.” Bebe wasn’t sure why she was letting out something that was purely supposition on her end, but she felt like she  _ needed _ to tell Tweek. “I could see it in his eyes, he was horrified when he realized it was me.”

“Oh…” Tweek said, in a very small voice. Pulling his legs up to his chest, the boy pushed out, “Jesus, I th-think I really screwed things up…”

“We all do it sometimes,” Bebe told the boy, finding the longest pieces of his hair and carefully pulling them back, beginning a tight french braid at the crown of his head. “I screwed up, letting Wendy and the other girls push me into dating Craig. I should have asked to go with Clyde instead. I think a lot of this could have been avoided if I spoke up.”

“Ngh- I wish  _ I’d _ spoken up,” Tweek admitted, fidgeting as Bebe gathered his wispy blond hair into something resembling a neat hairdo. It was surprisingly pleasant, braiding his hair. Like running her hands through cotton, almost. “I sh-should have said something to Craig, instead of l-letting him believe I was okay with it.”

“Maybe,” Bebe agreed, finishing the braid and affixing it with a little rubber band that she pulled off of her thumb. Starting a second braid, this one smaller, Bebe told Tweek, “I think that Craig has trouble actually saying things, sometimes. I think you’re better at it than him.” When Tweek jerked his head around in an attempt to look at her that was stopped by her braiding his hair, Bebe said, “You need to remember that. It’s really hard to speak up sometimes, but often times it’s better to speak than stay silent.”

“He told me he’s going to m-make things better,” Tweek said softly, his eyes so full of hope that it almost broke Bebe’s heart. “Grrr- I  _ really _ want to believe him.”

“Then do,” Bebe told him softly, tugging on the half-finished braid she still held. “It’s okay, you’ll get to see him tomorrow.” When Tweek’s eyes widened, Bebe giggled and said, “My parents are out today, so you’re going to stay over. It’s okay, I have a pullout bed. You need to get away.”

Tweek didn’t answer, and Bebe was glad, because honestly, the longer she could put off the inevitable, the better. _ Ah, I’m really not going to like breaking up with Craig…  _ But, it was one of those things.

Almost predictably, Bebe’s phone buzzed.

_ Ugh, men... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND NOW WE SEE IT COME FULL CIRCLE.
> 
> Yup, just a little Bebe to make your night feel wonderful. Honestly, she's such a fun person to write for, like the words just _flow_ and I'm not saying they don't normally, because they do! But with her, it's like natural. ;;^^ A girls mental processes, after all, are just different than a guys. 
> 
> But never mind that, I'll be back TOMORROW~


	83. Ready To Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NICO! MOOF! MY CHILD!
> 
> This chapter is for you~ Haha, I'm ridiculous, but seriously, I love you darling, and come on, who doesn't want some manly tears XD
> 
> I'm loving updating regularly again, even though I know it won't last. *wipes away a tear* Ah well, we take what we can get, yes?
> 
> Enjoy.

“Yeah, but where did she take him?”

“Craig, it’s Bebe.”

“Doesn’t answer my fucking question.”

“Craig.”

Letting out a breath, Craig put the Stick of Truth back on its pedestal before turning to look at Token, who had his arms crossed across his chest, an unimpressed expression on his face. Furrowing his brows, Craig shrugged his shoulders a little to settle his cloak. “What?” he deadpanned, pressing himself to focus on Token.

Watching him for a moment, Token finally let out a long and slow sigh. “You’re predictable,” he stated bluntly, rolling his eyes.  _ What’s that supposed to mean? _ Craig would have bristled, but okay, maybe Token had a point.  _ It’s not even like Tweek and I have figured all our shit out, I don’t get to tell Tweek where he can and can’t go. Hell, I shouldn’t even be worried about it. _

“Maybe I am,” Craig muttered, looking down at the ground and kicking at a pebble that was brushing against his shoe.

To be fair though, a lot had happened in the past hour. He’d gone from helpless and hopeless, to brimming with newfound resolve. Tweek hadn’t just spoken to him, he’d  _ laughed _ with him. He’d given Craig more concessions than the Noirette had been able to give himself and he’d stood shoulder to shoulder with him against Cartman, even if it had been for no more than a few seconds. They’d made fucking  _ progress _ and the feeling was a heady one, especially after the shit he’d gone through in recent weeks.

And while part of him wanted to obsess over all the horrible things that had happened, just today alone, Craig knew that if he wanted to get anywhere, he had to look forward and stop rehashing the past.  _ I’ve made my promise, now I just have to keep it. _ Because if he was being honest, fighting with Tweek, however indirectly, had reminded him how vital getting the blond back really was.

“I think it’s a good thing Bebe took Tweek with her,” Token mused. Turning to look at him, Craig caught the calculating expression before it was wiped clean. “You need some time to think.” The way he said it, like he knew something Craig didn’t, made the Noirette feel a little left out of the loop, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it because at that moment, Cartman bustled into the tent.

Pushing between them, the fat boy stared up at the Stick, a serious look on his face. “The Stick of Truth is back where it belongs,” he announced, spreading his hands and looking between Token and Craig. Turning back around, he beckoned for them to follow him out of the tent and into the fading evening light. Shrugging, Token followed without a word.

Craig hung back for a moment though, and watched as Cartman continued to talk outside of the tent to the rest of the boys. “Great job, men! Butters, Token, for your heroic deeds and valiance, you’ve both gained a level. Congratulations.” There was a smattering of clapping, but Craig started to tune it out.  _ Two more days, _ he realized, as Cartman continued to deliver his speech.  _ Kenny said the game would be done in two days. _

As if able to read his thoughts, Kenny turned around gave Craig a little wiggle of his eyebrows. Hiding the mixed emotions of irritation and resignation behind a perfectly flat expression, Craig waited for Kenny to look away, but strangely enough, he didn’t. Instead, as Cartman’s mom came out and Cartman started to yell, he walked into the tent, his dangerous eyes glittering.

“Well done, Fucker,” Kenny commented lightly, pulling off his crown and wig as he did so. Outside, Craig registered the other boys starting to leave, but he paid them no mind. There was a settling in his stomach, a feeling that told him that something was about to happen, whether he liked it or not. “For a minute there, I thought  _ everything _ had gone sideways but look at  _ you, _ getting your shit together like you know what you’re doing~” Clicking his tongue, he shook his head, letting his real, sandy-blond hair waft over his forehead. “The real question is, do you have the guts to keep going?”

Feeling like telling Kenny to fuck off would be a bit redundant, Craig just flipped him off and said, “Two more days McCormick, I’m holding you to it.”  _ Whatever you’re thinking, I already don’t fucking like it. _ There was no universe where  _ that _ laugh accompanied by  _ that _ smile that was currently on Kenny’s face meant anything good. “You said things that would get better.”

“Haven’t they?” the boy asked, his eyebrows shooting up. When Craig frowned slightly, Kenny waved a hand. “Ah, but we all know they’re going to have to get worse again before they get  _ better. _ You know that, which is why you’re looking at me like you want to kill me.” Frustrated with himself just as much as he was frustrated with Kenny, Craig forced his face to smooth out. He didn’t like this, but there was a reason he’d waited behind in the tent, and that reason was the text that Kenny had sent him on their way back here.

**_[Ready for part two?]_ **

Craig wished that he’d ignored the text, just pretended he didn’t see it and do what the rest of the boy s had done by going home. But he’d agreed to do things Kenny’s way, if this was what that entailed, then he was going to have to suck it up and deal with it.

“I just want this to be over,” he said at last, his tone as even as he could make it. Tracking the boy’s movements as Kenny slipped off his high heels and wiped some of the lipstick off his mouth, Craig continued, “You said to do what  _ I _ wanted to do, how does this-”

“Shhhh~” Kenny put a finger to his own lips. “Patience, Tucker, patience. It’s a virtue, after all, and goodness knows you need a few more of those.” Tipping his chin up, gritting his teeth, Craig waited wordlessly, which seemed to amuse the boy. With a soft chuckle, Kenny finally assumed a more serious face. “I firmly believe that, left to your own devices, what you want and what I want aline surprisingly well, so I’m just going to give you a push. The rest is, as they say,  _ up to you.” _

“Kenny-” Craig started, warningly. He still had the image of Tweek’s shining face imprinted into his mind, and fuck if he was going to let something ruin it again.

“Oh I  _ love _ it when you get angry,” Kenny purred, his eyes mischievous.  _ He’s trying to wind me up, isn’t he? _ Though it was a struggle, Craig didn’t react, he just stood there, his hands clenched under his cloak. Like this had been the right answer, Kenny walked forward and said more clearly, “But what I like even more is the idea of this all being over. So let me help you help me.”

As he walked by the Stick of Truth, Kenny reached up and plucked the thing off of the pedestal. Though perhaps he should have protested, Craig didn’t say a word as the boy held out the thing to him, a sly grin on his face. “Just take it, Tucker. I don’t care what you do with it, but I’m pretty sure  _ you’re  _ going to care, shortly.”

_ We just fought to get this back,  _ Tweek _ fought to get this back, what am I doing? _ But maybe Craig was going crazy in more ways than one, because before he could stop himself, he grabbed the Stick from Kenny and tucked it under his cloak. “I’m not giving it to the Elves, if that’s what you want,” Craig said, watching as Kenny stepped back and straightened his ripped skirts.

Looking up at those words, Kenny let out a laugh. “Craig, if I wanted the Elves to get that Stick, I would have given it to them myself. As it is-” He waved a hand. “It belongs elsewhere. Where that  _ elsewhere _ is remains to be seen.” Apparently satisfied with his job, Kenny walked towards the tent flap, his hand lifted in farewell. “It’s been good working with you Fucker, I hope you get through this in one piece. Because I know I won’t~!”

Then he was gone, leaving Craig alone in the dark with the weight of one too many sins on his back.

))))-((((

Craig had known Clyde since they were young. Actually, Craig had known Clyde since before they were young. He’d known the boy since before the time when age and time were something that mattered. They had grown up together and with each other in a way that only two boys who were born on the same street, in houses next to each other can.

Which is why, when Craig walked into Clyde’s backyard and found Clyde hanging precariously from a rope, fifty feet in the air, hanging paper mache skulls on a veritable castle that Craig had never seen before in his life, his response was not only appropriate, but it was in fact the  _ only _ response that the situation merited.

“What the fuck?” he asked, craning his neck so he could take in the fortress that  _ apparently _ had been built in Clyde’s backyard.

“Do you like it?” Clyde yelled back, his weird, spiky crown he wore on his head looking a little lopsided due to his position.

“What. The. Fuck?” Craig repeated, as if by saying the words again the answer he got from Clyde would be different.

“Isn’t it great!” Swinging back to the relative safety of one of the many platforms that made up the castle, Clyde vanished inside of it. There was a series of loud bangs and the sounds of clattering objects, and a moment later, the brunet appeared, running down the drawbridge with his arms outstretched. “CRAIG!!”

For once, Craig allowed himself to be hugged by the enthusiastic boy. He was still too busy staring at the  _ huge fucking castle that had suddenly appeared in Clyde’s backyard! _ “What the fuck?” He repeated, pushing the boy away. “When did you make this? Why do you have a fucking crown on dude?”

“It’s awesome, isn’t it?” Straightening said crown, which had several small halloween plastic skulls affixed to it, Clyde proudly said, “I made it myself! Well, obviously, but it took a long time and it’s super badass!” Momentarily forgetting about the Stick, and the game, and even Tweek, Craig allowed Clyde to drag him towards the fort without fighting him.

“It’s pretty cool,” he admitted flatly, looking at castle, which in his opinion looked like a happy thing that Clyde had attempted to make look sinister at short notice. Shaking himself, Craig started, “Listen, dude-”

“I mean, I know it’s not the Drow Elf tree fort,” Clyde interrupted, his eyes oddly bright as he ran towards a ladder and quickly scaled it. “And it doesn’t have the same feel as the Human castle, but it’s super duper  _ amazing _ to make up for it, don’t you think?”

_ Why is he saying that? What’s  _ wrong?  _ Because something must be fucking wrong, Clyde is acting weird. _ Tentatively following the boy up the ladder, sweeping his cloak out behind him, Craig tried again, “I mean, I’ll admit it’s way better than Cartman’s shitty castle, but-”

“I mean sure,” Clyde cut through again. “It doesn’t have a lot of people in it, and it’s a little bit empty and musty and there are boxes and stuff lying everywhere, but it’s still  _ way _ better than the other castles. And did you see my crown?? I mean, of course you did, but it’s  _ way cooler _ than Kyle’s crown, and Cartman’s wizard hat is just stupid, right?”

“I mean I never thought about it like that,” Craig admitted, feeling like something was terribly wrong but unsure what that thing was.  _ What’s going on? I don’t get it. Why did he make all of this? Why is he dressed up like that? _ “I guess that your crown does look pretty fucking sweet but why-”

“I haven’t put the whole outfit together, but it’ll be  _ way cooler _ than anything that the Elves or the Humans could come up with.” Clyde laughed, but it sounded strained and high pitched. “Ooh, and wait till you see the throne room! And the other rooms. And the towers, we- I mean I have really cool towers too!”

Trying to keep up with Clyde, who had already moved onto the next ladder, Craig felt that knot of  _ wrongness _ grow. “Dude, of course it’s got cool towers,” Craig reassured Clyde evenly, wishing that he could get a read on what was going on. The only reason he’d come here at all was because he couldn’t go home after having broken out of detention. This was way more than what he’d signed up for. “You always make cool shit. But about the-”

“Look! There’s even a tire swing in this room!” Clyde announced wildly, his eyes wide and insistant like he was trying to convince himself of something as much as he was trying to convince Craig of it. “And so many windows and, haha, we’re already above the ground! We’re already higher than Kyle’s castle! He doesn’t even have a castle, right? Just a bunch of platforms and a tree fort at the top. That’s it!”

Gritting his teeth together, unsure if he should be worried yet or not, Craig attempted to grab Clyde’s shoulder to slow him down but the brunet had already moved on, scaling higher still. “Look at this place Craig! It’s so amazing!” Laughing, the sound coming out broken, unhinged, Clyde called, “There’s so much more here than the Elves or the Humans ever had! This is what a castle looks like! This is what a base should be! This is… This is way better than anything they could ever come up with.”

Following Clyde up yet another ladder, Craig finally gave up on catching up with Clyde and just said, in a loud and flat voice, “Clyde Donovan you fucking idiot, stop moving for one goddamn minute.” Grinding to a halt, the brunet froze, one hand clenched around the sconce on the wall of the fort that looked like it had been made out of PVC pipe and prayers, the other fisted at his side. “Clyde, dude,” Craig tried, his voice faltering as he noticed the slight tremble in Clyde’s hand.  _ When was the last time I saw him shake? When his mom died?  _

_ Shit… _

“Heh, it’s okay Craig, we can talk better once we’re inside~” Clyde said suddenly, jerking back into motion. Hurrying up one tower, the boy yelled, “I mean, I don’t know why I made this so complicated… But it doesn’t matter!! It’s still so awesome, and I bet Cartman and Kyle and all of them  _ wish _ they had a castle this cool. I mean, w-what do you wanna bet that Bebe would like it too?” Blowing past Craig, his face turned away, Clyde said, “I guess I don’t know what girls like,  _ why would I know anything about girls?? _ But…. But that’s not important!”

_ Bullshit. _ “Clyde, what the fuck,” Craig said, not exactly asking a question so much as stating it. As the gate lifted in the entrance to the rest of the castle, Clyde hurried back down the path, a manic smile on his face, a wild light in his eyes that still looked way too fucking bright. “What the-”

“Fuck?” Clyde asked, laughing. “I know! It’s so wild, can you  _ believe _ it? I mean, my dad never really has time to do anything with me, b-but I still managed to get him to help me a little on this!! And it turned out so well! I bet  _ you _ wish you could make something like this. Well, that’s alright, you can still hang out here if you want!!”

_ Jesus Christ, Tweek makes more sense. _ “Clyde I don’t want to hang out here,” Craig stated, knowing that Clyde was hiding something but having no way of knowing what that thing was. “We’re already playing a fantasy game, Clyde. We already have a castle.” Then, just in case he hadn’t gotten the message; “What the  _ fuck.” _

Grabbing for the rungs of yet another ladder, Clyde laughed fragilely and said, “Oh yeah, stupid of me! I knew that! You’re- You’re Feldspar and you’re a level twelve thief and- and you already have a faction so, haha, what am I doing asking you about this? You probably think I’m being  _ ridiculous. _ I am being ridiculous!”

“Just tell me what the hell is going on!” Craig finally yelled, his patience finally running out.

“It doesn’t matter, okay Craig!” Clyde shot back, running up a set of stairs, getting away from Craig once more. “It doesn’t matter! Besides, you have way bigger problems and I’m  _ fine. _ I’ve never been better! How are you and Tweek? Is everything okay? I mean, it’s been pretty bad recently, everything’s been really bad recently. Isn’t it funny how everything falls apart at once?!”

Finally catching up with Clyde, Craig gave up on talking and simply struck. Using some of his pent up frustration, Craig spun Clyde around and pinned him against the post that stood at the center of that particular room. Holding him there, just in case he tried to get away, Craig flatly ground out, “What the fuck, Clyde. What. The. Fuck.”

Without warning, Clyde suddenly yelled, “DON’T YOU GET IT CRAIG, EVERYTHING IS SHIT!” As Clyde stared up at the Noirette, his breath coming in great heaving gasps, Craig realized that the boy was crying. While big, ugly tears dropped from his eyes, Clyde continued, “THIS WHOLE THING HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT SHIT!”

“What the hell happened to you?” Craig demanded.

Shoving him away, Clyde snapped, “Everything, Craig! Everything has happened to me!!”

“Then fucking  _ explain.” _ Narrowing his eyes, the Noirette said, “I can’t read fucking minds Clyde, tell me what the fuck-”

“I got kicked out of the humans, okay!” Clyde threw the words at him like they were a weapon. Wiping at his eyes, Clyde wetly spat, “I lost the  _ Stick of Truth _ and they kicked me out of the game! There! I said it!” Glaring at him, the brunet said, “Are you happy now, Craig?”

_ Oh hell…  _ “No, I’m not happy,” Craig said, trying to bring himself down to his usual calm level. The way Clyde was acting, it had shaken him, and he was having trouble recovering.  _ What happened to him to make things this bad? _ “Clyde, listen, dude, I’m sorry that you got kicked out but-”

Wrong choice of words, apparently. “NO!” Clyde yelled, clenching his fist. “No you’re not! You’re not sorry! You’re part of the reason that everything is so  _ shit! _ And all you do is stand there stupidly all the time Craig and I’m so sick of it! I’m done with your shit! They kicked me out and you know what, I don’t give a fuck.”

Feeling his own frustration rising up once more, Craig snapped, “Do you think I want this either?”  _ How long has this been building up? _ he couldn’t help but think as he stared at the tears dripping down Clyde’s face.  _ Fuck, he’s my friend, I should have noticed this. _ “Do you think I  _ like _ this shit?”

“YOU’RE STILL PART OF IT!” Clyde threw back, advancing on him. “YOU STILL- You still let them do whatever they want with you and it pisses me off Craig, I hate it! Do you have  _ any _ idea what it’s done to me? To Tweek?” Craig felt his blood run cold. He knew that he’d screwed things up, but it was getting better damnit! He didn’t want to hear about this again.

But Clyde didn’t seem to care. “I have had to watch him fall apart Craig, and grin and bear it because I was trying to be a good friend. Do you know how  _ upset _ he’s been? And I know that you know now because he finally reached his breaking point well guess what?” He brandished a finger in Craig’s face. “I’ve reached mine! So fuck you and fuck being nice, I’m  _ done!” _

“If this is about Bebe-” Craig started, huffing out a breath.

“YES THIS IS ABOUT BEBE!” Clyde yelled, his face crumpling as he said the words. “It’s about  _ everything. _ Do you have any idea how upset you dating her has made Tweek?”

“Dude,” Craig tried again. “I know-”

“No, you  _ really don’t.” _ Turning away from him, Clyde stormed away, leaving Craig to stride after him. “You think you do and you want to act like that means you get to keep being a complete  _ dick _ about it. Teacup did his best to pretend like he was  _ fine _ with it but Craig, he wasn’t fine. He was jealous of you and Bebe. He was jealous because you’d chosen Bebe over him. Who does that Craig? Who does that?”

“But that- They’re totally-” Craig tried to form a sentence, but Clyde’s words were overwhelming him.  _ Jealous. _ Bebe had used that word, Craig had sort of accepted that word, but it felt different when it was being tearfully yelled at him by  _ Clyde _ of all people. “It wasn’t like I was going to forget him!” Craig finally pushed out, watching as Clyde walked along a precarious wooden walkway up to a pavilion. “I didn’t even  _ like _ Bebe.”

“THEN BREAK UP WITH HER!!” Clyde yelled over his shoulder. “Tweek  _ needs _ you Craig, he doesn’t need  _ this. _ All I’ve been seeing is him opening up to you, giving you everything, and you just keep tossing it away because you’re too much of a coward to admit that you don’t even like her!” Standing in the middle of the pavilion, the boy breathed heavily and added, “I don’t want to see Teacup sad anymore, got that? Because you know what, I can handle things being really crappy for me all the time. I’m used to it. But Teacup?”

“I’ve been planning on breaking up with her, okay?” Craig said, his voice breaking slightly. He’d never seen Clyde like this, and it made him feel sick to his stomach.  _ Fuck Kenny, fuck plans, fuck everything. It’s not just Tweek is it? It’s Clyde. _ Because even though the boy wasn’t saying it, Craig knew full well that Clyde had a crush on Bebe and he’d walked all over that. The only reason Clyde was probably bringing up Tweek at all was because his heart was too fucking big to admit that something had hurt him.

“It doesn’t matter,” Clyde spat bitterly, dragging his hands over his face once more. Suddenly straightening and throwing back his shoulders, he said, “I’m starting my own faction Craig. Fuck all of you guys. I’m going to take the stick, and I’m going to get people on my side, and- And I’m going to take down the Elves and the Humans because I’m sick and tired of this game!”

Craig’s eyes widened.  _ Oh… _ “Dude,” the Noirette muttered, struggling to process all of the things that had just started to become unbelievably clear.  _ Kenny knew didn’t he? He fucking _ knew _ that Clyde was going to do this. _ “Let me help you.”

“NO CRAIG!” Clyde snapped, almost like he hadn’t heard Craig at all. “I’m not letting you stop me! I’m going to be cooler than Cartman or Kyle ever was! And I’m going to be a better ruler! Cause they both suck so much, you don’t even know. So you can leave me alone, Craig, because I’m going to do it, and you can’t change my mind!”

“Clyde-” Craig attempted, stepping forward. “I want to-”

“I CAN DO IT!! EVEN WITH YOU AND TOKEN AND TWEEK AND EVERYONE AGAINST ME!!” Clyde shouted, oblivious to what Craig was trying to say.

Giving up, Craig rolled his eyes and thought  _ oh fuck it- _ Yanking the Stick of Truth from his belt, Craig reeled his hand back and threw it. The thing struck Clyde in the back of the head, knocking his crown askew and making him yelp in pain. Indignantly, Clyde spun around and yelled, “Hey, what was that for?!” before looking down and staring at the Stick in surprise.

“I’m trying to say I want to help you,” Craig told Clyde flatly, crossing his arms. “Fuck the Humans. Fuck the Elves too while we’re at it. I’ve been ready to quit this game for a long ass time, so let me do it.”  _ Just a little longer, did Kenny say? Motherfucker was right, just like always.  _ “I’ll help you take them all down, just the two of us.” Grudgingly, Craig’s lips twitched upwards, almost into a smile. “Just like old times.”

For a moment, Clyde just stared at Craig, slack-jawed. Then, almost predictably, fresh tears started to well up in his eyes. “You mean it?” he asked, breathlessly.

“Yeah dude,” answered Craig, gruffly.

Attempting to put on a tough face, Clyde tilted his chin up belligerent and said, “If you do… You have to break up with Bebe!” By his face, Craig could tell the boy was expecting him to say no, and it made his gut clench, because times really must have changed if Clyde thought that his first response would be to tell him to fuck off.  _ Or maybe, things haven’t changed, but my perspective has. _

Carefully walking towards Clyde, over the walkway, Craig drew up in front of the slightly shorter boy and looked down his hooked nose at him. “Yeah, I’ll break up with her,” Craig told Clyde evenly, his eyebrow twitching upwards. “But on one condition.”

“What?” Clyde asked, still trying to sound tough but in reality only sounding confused.

“When we’re done with this-” Craig jabbed the boy in the chest. “You have to ask her out. Because I am  _ not _ putting up with anymore of your bullshit.”

Letting out a wet, relieved laugh, Clyde took a step back and said, “Yeah, deal dude.” And even though Craig knew he was signing up for a lot of shit, he nodded, because at the end of the day, this was where he belonged. Not under Cartman, not bowing to stupid rules he didn’t care about, but here, with Clyde, being an idiot and actually having fun while doing it.

“So…” Clyde ventured. “Why are you actually here dude?”

“I needed a place to stay tonight,” Craig admitted, snorting.

And as Clyde laughed, Craig felt yet another weight lift off of his shoulders. Yeah, maybe things were going to get worse, but they were also getting better, and in Craig’s mind, it was about fucking time.

Craig Tucker had never really realized that he cared about his friends, outside of Tweek, but as Clyde’s laughter turned to wheezing, Craig realized he did care. And that was probably a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me oddly satisfied.
> 
> *slides out* That's all folks~


	84. The Third Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWOW
> 
> Tweek, my darling Wren, I heard this entire thing in your voice, and I'm not sorry. I loved it. Thank you for existing and thank you for continuing to grace us with your vibrant, beautiful presence~ This is for you.
> 
> Believe.
> 
> Enjoy.

They say it’s not the fall, it’s the sudden stop at the end.

Well if that’s true, then Tweek wanted to say that it wasn’t the getting dragged over rough, rocky ground, it was the sudden lack of that ground that did it.

He didn’t even remember going to sleep. One moment, he’d been sitting in Bebe’s spare bed, the next, he’d been staring at an alarming amount of gravel as something dragged him along. Alarming? Yes. Surprising? Well, actually no.

Why had Tweek still been awake? Probably because he never slept. But this time, it had also been because he’d been turning the stupid mood ring that Bebe had stashed away in her drawer over and over in his fingers. Call him stupid, call him hopelessly pathetic, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself. As he’d watched the thing turn different colors in the moonlight, Tweek had wondered if perhaps Craig could somehow sense that he was holding the ring and knew, as only Craig could, how he was feeling. 

Which was stupid on several levels, but Tweek was a little past stupid at the point one in the morning rolled around.

He’d been staring at it, watching as it went from an ugly pinkish green to a vivid red then down to a cool blue, when suddenly, everything sort of cut out.

The next thing he knew, he was desperately trying to keep ahold of the mood ring as something dragged him out of Bebe’s window and towards something fuzzy and glowing that he couldn’t see because there was too much dirt in his eyes.

And you’d think that Tweek of all people would have been panicking, but strangely enough, he was too stunned to do much past stare dumbly at the flying saucer that slowly became apparent. Because no matter how much time he’d spent yelling that no  _ aliens were real and JESUS THEY’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!!  _ he hadn’t expected that he’d actually get abducted by them. Somehow, that hadn’t really fit into the picture.

It wasn’t until he couldn’t feel the ground anymore that Tweek really started to panic. Again, it wasn’t the fall, it was the sudden stop.

The first thing he really registered was the Aliens. They were  _ exactly _ like he’d imagined they would be. Tall, grotesque, glowing green and staring. Two of them were dragging him, each with a long, strange limb wrapped around a leg. They were pulling him up a ramp that felt cold and steely under his cheek, and it was at this point that Tweek started to scream.

“OH GOD THERE ARE ALIENS!!!!” the boy screeched, struggling helplessly to get back down the ramp, to get  _ away _ from the monsters holding onto him. _ Oh god, they’re going to kill me! They’re going to kill everyone!! They’ve got me and I’m never going to see my parents, or Bebe, or Token or Clyde ever again!!! JESUS I’LL NEVER GET TO SEE CRAIG AGAIN!!! _ “LET GO OF ME!!” he shrieked, kicking violently, twitching hard enough and struggling strongly enough that the aliens actually stopped for a moment.

“Moo moo moo?” one of them asked, talking in a language that Tweek didn’t know nor cared to know. Abruptly, Tweek found the ground lurching away from him as the creature lifted him up with the help of its friend. The two of them held him aloft, examining him like he was a sort of specimen.  _ I AM A SPECIMEN!!! THEY’RE GOING TO KILL ME THEN EAT ME THEN WEAR MY SKIN AROUND!!!! I CAN’T HANDLE THIS!!! _ Giving a great kick, Tweek managed to hit one of the aliens in the face with his heel.

Reeling back slightly, the two aliens held him out a little ways and shook him around in two different directions at once, clearly trying to get him to stop moving. Yelping in fear, only just managing to keep ahold of the mood ring that he’d take from Bebe, Tweek shivered and let out a moan of terror that seemed to confuse the aliens. Looking at each other, the two seemed to shrug before continuing to take him into the Alien ship, this time no longer dragging him but simply holding him aloft.

As the world swung by sickeningly in an upside-down fashion, Tweek tried to see what was going on without throwing up. _I need to get away!_ But how was he supposed to get away from aliens?!? It had been so long since he even thought of them, there had been so many other things on his mind. Now, he realized how foolish he’d been. Of course the aliens were the real problem. They were always the real problem. _Why am I getting dragged away now?!_ Why not before, when he would have almost welcomed getting abducted over suffering through another day.

But the universe was as the universe did and today, the universe didn’t seem to want to make sense, no matter how much Tweek wished it would.  _ Now I’m going to die! I’m going to die and no one is going to know what happened to me and Craig is going to be worried!!  _ Or would the Noirette even notice he was gone? “JESUS JUST -NGH- LET ME GO!!” he shrieked, the pressure in his head only getting worse. Yanking on his hair with the hand that wasn’t clenched painfully around the mood ring, Tweek let out another wild screech and tried kicking at the aliens again.

“Moo  _ moo,” _ one of the aliens insisted, which would have been great if Tweek understood anything he was saying. “Moo mooo moo. Moo moo, moo mo mooo.”  _ Oh jesus, what are they saying. I don’t get it!! I don’t get anything!?! I just want to go home why is this happening to me!?!? _

When he didn’t answer, the alien gave him a shake before continuing to walk as if nothing had happened.

As they went, Tweek felt his sense of terror grow. There were  _ sounds _ coming from the bowls of the large ship, horrible sounds. He would have sworn he heard people in there, other humans that the aliens had take captive. The screaming in his head was too loud to make much of it out, but none of it sounded good. And as if that wasn’t enough, there was this constant whirring of machines that made Tweek feel like he was losing his mind.

No bad dream could have prepared him for this, no, reality was always so much worse.

Off to one side, he heard the voice of Mr. Mackey of all people talking, mumbling something. “I’m having the dream again,” he was saying, his voice sounding faint and distorted. “M’kay, this is dreamy…” By the time he whipped his head around however, there was nothing but more black and green and purple wiring, nothing but aliens who didn’t even bother to look down at him.

Twitching, Tweek covered his ears as best he could, squeezing his eyes shut tight and wishing,  _ praying _ that this was all in his head. But it wasn’t, these monsters were real. These aliens weren’t pretend, and they definitely weren’t his imagination. There was a moaning sound now, and Tweek wanted to hit his head on something rather than listen to it for much longer. He couldn’t handle this. He couldn’t take it!!

_ JESUS I WANT OUT!!! _

Eyes flying open, Tweek’s gaze swiveled to the first thing in his line of sight and instantly, his stomach plummeted. Because suddenly things had gotten ten times worse. There, strapped down to one of those dreaded examination tables was  _ Craig. _ The aliens were doing  _ things _ to him, unspeakable things, things that Tweek tried to scrub out of his head the moment he saw them.

“What’s… Happening?” Craig moaned out, his voice sounding hoarse and all wrong.  _ OH GOD NO THIS IS TOO MUCH I CAN’T HANDLE THIS!!! _

“CRAIG!!” Tweek shrieked. For a moment, the boy’s head came up and his bleary blue eyes met Tweek’s but then the alien above him slapped his head back down and the two aliens carrying Tweek gave him several hard shakes, as though to make him stop. In the confusion, Tweek felt the mood ring he’d been carrying fall out of his hands and clatter to the floor of the ship. Helpless, now stripped of the one thing that he’d had to calm him down, Tweek felt frightened tears start to dribble from his eyes.

_Oh god, we’re both going to die. They’re going to kill me. They’re going to kill_ Craig. _We can’t get away, we’re stuck, we’re trapped, we’re_ dead. Shaking harder, wishing he could just make it all stop, Tweek yanked on his hair and whimpered pathetically, sniffling as the aliens lifted him up and put him down on a table before walking away. As his face pressed into the rough padding, Tweek shook and twitched violently, too weak to move.

“Is this your first time getting probed?”

At the sound of that tired, sort of resigned voice, Tweek struggled to move, finding that he wasn’t actually strapped down. He might as well have been though because his shaking limbs refused to cooperate, they just collapsed under him. Looking up, he found that he could sort of make out the outline of Stan Marsh’s dad, Randy. The man was strapped down to a table of his own, though he didn’t seem to much care about it. Behind him, there was a horrifying machine with parts that Tweek didn’t understand, not that this seemed to faze the man.

“Ngh-” Tweek whimpered, twitching hard enough that he smacked his head against one of the protruding knobs on the table.

“Yeah, it’s a pain,” Randy agreed, shrugging as best he could when his arms were bound down. “But I guess that’s the price for living in a remote little mountain town, right?”  _ Oh god, what is he saying, I don’t understand!! _ Holding back his screeching, but only just, Tweek shivered and stared at the reflection and thought of Craig’s glassy eyes until he was sure that he’d break down into tears again.

“At least we don’t have to deal with traffic,” Mr. Marsh commented absently, almost like he found _ this _ an acceptable trade off. When Tweek only let out a soft whimper, the man sighed and and said, “So, how’s Richard? I haven’t seen him in forever. Still running the coffee shop, isn’t he?” When Tweek didn’t answer, Randy muttered, “Well, it was nice talking to you, I guess.”

“Moo moo moo moo.” At the sound of an alien returning, Tweek let out a shriek of fear.  _ OH GOD WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO TO ME!??! ARE THEY GOING TO DO WHAT THEY DID TO CRAIG!?! _ It had looked an awful lot like rape, and Tweek had read one too many wikipedia articles for that word to be anything but terrifying. So when there was that terrible whirring from behind him and the alien reached for him, Tweek did the first thing that he could think of.

He jumped up and he punched the alien in the face.

Stepping back, the creature shook its head in confusion and made several more ‘mooing’ noises before reaching for him again. Shaking harder, Tweek let out a scream of, “DON’T TOUCH ME!!” before all but tackling the alien. As they both went down, Tweek attempted to hit the thing while it tried to pull him off of it.  _ OH GOD IT’S GOING TO KILL ME!! _

Successfully removing the struggling boy from it, the flustered alien tried to back up, but Tweek was too quick. Tackling it again, slamming it into the forcefield that had been erected around the table, Tweek went for its eyes only to be thrown back once more. As the thing regained some of its senses, Tweek saw the gun that it was grabbing for and screeched. “OH JESUS!!!” 

“MOO MOO!” the thing yelled back with equal fervor. Once again, Tweek found that there was no time to think. He just moved. With all the twitchy power he had in his body, Tweek tackled the alien, wrestling the gun from its weird hands. It went off, hitting the machine behind Tweek which crackled and gave out with a loud slurping sound. Finally getting the gun, Tweek screeched and pointed it at the alien, who didn’t have time to react before it went off again.

All at once, the creature fell to the ground, limp.  _ OH GOD I KILLED ONE CHRIST JESUS FUCK HELP!!! _ Scrambling backwards, whimpering, twitching and panting, Tweek shook his head, unsure what he was supposed to do.

“Ooh, you actually got free,” Randy commented, his voice sounding duly unconcerned, as if nine-year-old boys fighting aliens was perfectly normal for him. “Well done Tweek, I didn’t think you could do it. Very few people actually manage it.”

“Oh god,” Tweek whimpered, reaching spindly fingers up into his hair. “Oh god oh god ohgodohjesusohgod~”  _ What’s going on?? _ No, he knew what was going on. He was on an alien ship and they were raping people and he’d broken free and killed one and now he was  _ really _ screwed, not just physically, but metaphorically as well.

“Hey, you should break your forcefield and get me loose too,” Randy suggested, almost like it was a pleasant thought rather than a life or death situation.  _ WHAT DOES HE THINK IS GOING ON I CAN’T HAND L E  TH I S. _ “Just grab his device thing,” Mr. Marsh insisted. “Come on, it’s not going to hurt you  _ now.” _

Scrambling forward on all fours, Tweek pawed at the alien’s belt, which did indeed have a  _ device _ hanging from it, right next to the empty holster. “Just push the red button,” the man behind him insisted. “Trust me, it won’t kill you.” Well, it might, but Tweek figured he was dead anyway so what was one more stupid thing?

He pressed it.

The alien, that had been slumped over against the forcefield before, fell through it and hit the ground with a thump.

“OH JESUS CHRIST!!” Tweek shrieked, jumping back again. But nothing further happened, and he couldn’t keep twitching here forever if he wanted to survive. Grabbing for the weird gun, which was ungainly to say the least but was more protection than he was going to get anywhere else, Tweek turned around to face Randy Marsh.

The man was on all fours, ass in the air, pants pulled down around his ankles and a smile on his face, as if all of those previous things were negated by the fact that Tweek was free. “Yeah, you should probably try to figure out how to get free,” Randy said, trying and failing to sound encouraging. “The aliens, they get kinda squirrely when you escape and stuff.”

“Wh-WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!” Tweek shrieked, only to get a reproachful look from the man above him.

“Not so loud, they’ll hear you,” the man admonished, shaking his head. “I’d just try to find a way out. And free everyone else, that would be nice.”

“How do I do that!?” Tweek demanded, thinking of Craig and feeling his stomach lurch again.  _ OH god, if I don’t get him out of here, they’ll kill him, I’m sure of it!! I have to get him out!! I can’t let them hurt him! _

“Just… I don’t know, find the control room or something.” Randy suggested, but Tweek was already backing away, throwing his head back and forth as he looked for a door.  _ There! _ The moment he saw it, Tweek was running for it, pressing every button on his stupid device in an attempt to make it open. As his finger hit the orange button, it worked, and the thing slid open.

Skidding out into the hallway, his bare feet slipping on steel that he could see himself in, Tweek tossed his head back and forth, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do next. He was on a ship, an  _ alien ship _ holding a gun that looked like a dildo and a device that looked like it could kill him. How was someone supposed to respond to that?! WHAT WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO!??

“Moo?? Moo moo!!” Twisting his head and catching sight of the alien that was hurrying for the emergency alarm, Tweek let out a shriek and pointed the gun at him, praying it would have some effect.  _ Oh god there are buttons!! What buttons do I press?? What if one of them makes it explode oH JESUS!!! _ Well, there wasn’t really time to be thinking about whether things would explode or not, now was there?

Letting out an unholy screech of fear, Tweek thumbed one of the buttons. There was a flash of light and the alien went over, unconscious or dead. It didn’t really matter, Tweek had more pressing issues.  _ Craig, I’ve got to get to Craig. _ Twitching, Tweek turned around and tore down the hallway.

Almost instantly he was lost. Everything looked the same. All of it looked distorted and terrifying and  _ wrong _ and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He  _ wanted _ to find Craig, but how was he supposed to find anything when he wasn’t sure where he was. Another alien crossed his path and Tweek raised the gun again, turning away as he fired it. There was a protesting, “Mooo~” before a body hit the floor.

“JESUS!!” Tweek screeched, going to yank on his hair only to realize both of his hands were full. He wanted nothing more than to break down and cry, but even as the world around him started to warp into shades of purple and chrome, he clenched his teeth and kept running. Craig needed him. And that meant something.

Turning down yet another hallway, Tweek pointed the device at the door and twisted his head away just in case something horrible happened. There was an hydraulic sound as the thing slid open, but it was quickly overwhelmed by the sounds of people.  _ Wait, that means that this is the way!! _ Swinging back towards the open door, Tweek felt his heart leap at the sight of a familiar small, greenish pink ring.

Racing forward, Tweek almost dropped the alien gun as he lunged for the mood ring. Yet more tears slipping down over his cheeks, the terrified blond fumbled for the tiny ring and slipped it onto his finger. It was too big to fit on his ring finger, but it stayed on his middle finger, which seemed appropriate. Despite the situation and the peril he was in, Tweek smiled slightly and felt something like warmth spread through him. 

Craig might never wear his ring, but Tweek felt like he was still holding something that connected him to the Noirette and it grounded him.

“Moo!!” Whipping his head up, Tweek just acted. Grabbing for the gun, steadying it with the back of his occupied hand, the boy fired it. As the alien went over, the blond shot to his feet and hurried forward. He’d been granted a reprieve, but he’d have to be stupid to think it was going to last. At any point, the aliens could figure out that he’d escaped, and then he’d really be screwed.

_ Craig will know what to do! I can free Craig, and then he can help me! _

Turning another corner, Tweek almost ran headlong into a group of aliens. Noticing that these aliens were armed, Tweek instantly darted backward, fear racing through him.  _ If they saw me, I’m dead!! _ There! There was a door right here. Shaking his head and blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear some of the panic from his mind, Tweek looked up clicked the button he’d been using before again. The moment it slid open, Tweek darted inside and pressed himself against the wall. 

This room was darker, but not that much darker. It was filled with dangerous whirring sounds and electronic beeps, which was Tweek’s first clue that something was amiss. For a moment, he could only look into the gloom and stare at the shapes that his mind seemed incapable of understanding, but then he realized what he was seeing.  _ Oh god… _

Craig. His eyes were glazed over, and his face was covered in a sheen of sweat. Behind him, there was one of those wretched torture devices, complete with the horrifying appendages that Tweek had seen before. As everything in him fought to scream, Tweek lifted his stupid device and clicked at the buttons, trying to make  _ something _ change.

“Tweek?”  _ Oh god. _ Craig’s voice sounded nothing short of dead, and Tweek could feel his insides all rip themselves into pieces at the same time. Running forward, unsure what else he was supposed to do, Tweek tried to get at Craig and only managed to hit a forcefield. As his head collided with it, the blond went over backwards, letting out a cry of pain as he did. “Tweek, what- What’s going on?” Craig asked, his tone confused, not flat like it usually was.

“I- I’m going to g-get you out!!” Tweek squeaked, his hands shaking horribly. Looking around the room desperately, Tweek spotted a panel and all but crawled over to it. It was too tall for him to see.  _ Oh god oh god. _ “I’m going t-to get you out Craig, I swear! W-We’re going to -ghn- get out of here!!”

“Tweek, where am I?” Craig asked, sounding more awake this time. “What’s going on? Tweek, talk to me,  _ please.” _ Shaking his head, feeling tears slip down his cheeks, Tweek saw a box nearby and dashed for it. Pushing it over, the boy climbed on top of it only to stare down at the panel and the brightly colored buttons adorning it. This thing would free Craig, but he didn’t know how to do it. He didn’t get it!  _ There must be a code, I don’t know the code!! JeSUS FUCK HELP!!! _

“I CAN’T DO THIS!!!!” Tweek shrieked. “I CAN’T TAKE THIS I WANT OUT I WANT OUT!!!” Before he could stop himself, the boy slammed his head against the panel, screeching as he did so. Behind him, there was the soft sound of hydraulics and then a disappointed series of beeps. Whimpering, head spinning, Tweek turned around to find Craig sitting up, rubbing his wrists and pulling his pajama bottoms up.

“Ngh- CRAIG!” Leaping off of the box, Tweek ran for the boy only to be thrown backwards once more by the forcefield that surrounded him.

“Tweek!” As he opened his eyes, he found Craig slipping off of the examination table and limping over to the edge of the forcefield. “Tweek, are you okay?” he asked, his voice sounding more even now. Which was stupid, because he was still trapped and Tweek had no way to get him out.  _ Why is he worrying about me, he should be worrying about himself!! _ He’d tried so hard to get Craig out, but he  _ couldn’t,  _  he was useless and fucked up and why would the aliens even bother to kidnap him because he was pathetic.

And as he stared up at Craig, his head throbbing and his whole body trembling, Tweek just broke down. Shaking, pulling his legs to his chest, Tweek whimpered, “I’m s-so  _ sorry.” _ Everything hurt, his chest, his lungs, his head, his joints, nothing seemed to be making sense anymore. He’d done everything he could, and it still wasn’t enough. He was still going to die and now Craig was definitely going to die too because the aliens would think that he was trying to escape as well.

Softly, from the area in front of him, Craig let out a sigh. “Hey… c’mere,” he mumbled, his flat voice sort of slipping off at the edge, as if from exhaustion. Pulled from his misery by Craig’s soft tones, Tweek blearily looked up at the Noirette. The boy was sitting cross-legged in front of him, his deep blue eyes calming, somber. Twitching, Tweek felt his chest depress as more tears escaped from his eyes.

“W-why are you even t- _ talking _ to me??” Tweek whispered, his throat feeling too tight for breath. “I -ngh- c-couldn’t even save you f-from the aliens.” He deserved to be hated, he deserved to be treated like dirt. He’d  _ failed _ after all, the one time it really mattered, he’d just failed. “You should  _ hate _ me.”

Unexpectedly, Craig snorted bitterly. “You know, that’s the same thing I’ve been telling myself,” he admitted, his words making Tweek screw up his tearstained face in confusion. Putting his head down, running a hand through his hair, which Tweek belatedly realized was on display without the boy’s usual hat to cover it, Craig muttered, “I mean, I’ve fucked everything up, and yet you keep… Giving me chances. Look at you.” His flat voice was cut with misery. “We’re fucking- We’ve been abducted, and you still came to save me.”

Drawing in a shuddering breath at that self-deprecating tone that was Craig’s voice, Tweek shook his head helplessly and said, “I d-don’t care about all that stuff anymore.” And even though he’d spent days trying to hate Craig, trying to  _ not _ forgive him for what he had, or honestly hadn’t, done, Tweek felt it all slip away. “Jesus man, I just- Rrr- I just want y-you back!”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Craig muttered, “Why?” Like he really didn’t know, like he couldn’t even come up with one possible reason that Tweek might not hate him. “Look at me, I couldn’t even keep the fucking monsters away.”

Shoved from his own misery by Craig’s words, Tweek found himself lurching forward and pressing his hands against the crackling forcefield keeping Craig hemmed in. “It’s not y-your fault,” Tweek insisted in a small voice. Feeling desperate, Tweek frustratedly growled and continued, “I mean, we both made a lot of mistakes, b-but it’s not your fault we’re here!” Shaking his head, Tweek looked down at the pajama shirt that Bebe had lent him and shivered. “Jesus it’s p-probably my fault!! I’m not wearing the shirt you gave me!! Th-that’s why they came after us!”

Suddenly slamming his fist against the floor, Craig snapped, “It’s not your fault!”

“WELL IT’S NOT YOURS EITHER!” Tweek fired right back.

For a moment, they both stared at each other, then Craig sighed again and placed his hand against the forcefield, right over where Tweek’s palm was still pressed. His hand was bigger than Tweek’s, the blond reflected distantly, making it look tiny by comparison. As the Noirette looked over Tweek, his eyes fixed on the mood ring still on Tweek’s middle finger and his lips pulled slightly, almost like he was trying to smile but couldn’t quite make it.

“You’re going to be fine,” he said at last, his voice flat, yet stronger in that return to its calm, even beat. “You’re Tweek motherfucking Tweak, the Elves couldn’t stop you, I can’t stop you.” His eyes locked with the blond’s and they shone with certainty. “Those aliens won’t stand a chance.”

“I don’t w-want to leave you,” Tweek protested weakly. Leaning his head against the forcefield, he softly said, “What if th-they kill you?”

There was a soft sound, and Tweek realized that Craig had his forehead rested against the forcefield as well. Even though there was an immutable barrier between them, Tweek felt something run through him. Not exactly warmth, not exactly courage, but instead a settling, deep presence in his heart that spread through the rest of him like fire. 

“Then I die,” Craig murmured, his flat voice soft. “But I won’t, and neither will you.”

And maybe, later, Tweek would say that the moment had happened differently. That different thoughts had been running through his head. Maybe he would have lied and said that nothing happened, but in that second, there were three words at the tip of his tongue, and he almost said them. Even though they might have changed everything. But the moment passed, and Tweek wasn't really any the wiser.

Suddenly, there was the blaring of sirens above them.

“Shit,” Craig muttered, moving back from Tweek. “They’re coming.”

“OH JESUS!!” Tweek yelped, jumping to his feet and looking around for his gun. “WHAT DO I -GRRR- DO??”

Craig raised an eyebrow. “Give ‘em hell, Tweek.”

Well, admittedly, that could work… 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my earlier comment


	85. The Adventures of Astroboy and Jitterbug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whaaatthefuckdidIjustwriteohgod.
> 
> Cori, Craig, my wonderful space nerd and ever-present voice of reason, this is for you~ I tried to make it everything you wanted and more, because you've given me everything I could have ever dreamed of and more as a voice actor. Thank you for being around our crazy shitshow, and thank you for blessing us with a voice like no other's.
> 
> You're always going to be our Craig.
> 
> Enjoy.

Craig was sort of dissociating at this point. 

He hadn’t really internalized or accepted what was happening, past the fact that his ass hurt and Tweek’s face was streaked with tears. In fact, he was so out of it that he’d turned a conversation about survival into a stupid conversation about emotional drama that really shouldn’t have mattered at that moment as much as it felt like it did. But that had been the first thing to come to his mind, and even though this wasn’t exactly the most useful thought to have when face to face with death and aliens and further anal probing, Craig was bad at prioritizing.

Which is why he was staring at Tweek’s hands, and currently experiencing a complete emotional meltdown internally.

The boy’s hands were small. Tiny, actually. Petite like the rest of the blond was, twitchy and unsteady like they were a perfect mirror of their owner. They were small, yet the fingers were long, proportionally, and they were thin. Delicate. Graceful, if Craig had been one for poetry. Cute, if he’d been in that frame of mind.

When Craig placed his hand over Tweek’s, it covered it completely. Though there was a forcefield or something between them, he could easily recall the cool heat that usually emanated from them and it left something heavy in the pit of his stomach. It had been  _ ages _ since he’d actually held Tweek’s hand, at least, it felt like it. Craig wasn’t sure why his brain had chosen  _ that _ particular moment to be upset about it, but oh  _ fuck he was. _

And it didn’t make sense, did it, that of all the things that Craig could have picked up on, it had to be the scars on Tweek’s hands that drew his attention. In the back of his mind he  _ knew _ they were from third grade, but at this moment, he thought that they looked like spiderwebs. And if he unfocused his eyes, it looked like those spiderwebs extended to his own hands, covering his darker digits with their own latic of scars. It was  _ stupid _ but Craig wished those spiderwebs were steel, and he wished that there wasn’t a forcefield so he could just grab Tweek by his small, beautiful hands and hold him there where he couldn’t get away anymore.

Because that’s what he kept doing,  _ getting away from him. _ Even when they were face to face, finally talking about their problems, finally working things out, Tweek was so  _ far _ away from him. Separated by a barrier that Craig couldn’t move.

But Tweek was wearing that stupid mood ring, and suddenly Craig could feel his own mood ring burning a hole in his pajama pocket where it had been since the day after the fucking wedding. Fuck, it  _ hadn’t _ meant a damn thing when Bebe had been the one wearing it but now Tweek was wearing it and that made it important.

And when he looked at the boy, whose eyes were shining with certainty and determination and hope and more emotions than he could name, Craig sort of wanted to cry.

Which is why, at a certain level, Craig was glad when the alarms started to blare and both he and Tweek leaped to their feet, their moment of softness over. As Tweek scrambled for the strange alien gun and Craig ducked behind the examination table, as if that would do him any good, there were the sounds of many pairs of  _ something _ thudding outside the door. “I don’t know how to fight aliens!!” Tweek was protesting, his eyes flying everywhere as if looking for something to help him. “Jesus man, th-they’re terrifying!!” 

“You’ll be fine,” Craig told Tweek, his flat voice as encouraging as he could make it. “Just- You should leave me. You’ll be safer if you’re able to run.”

“NO! I’M N-NOT LEAVING YOU!!” Tweek insisted, his green eyes flashing like headlights at the very thought of leaving.  _ I can’t let myself be the reason that he gets hurt. _ Frustrated, as much with himself as with Tweek, Craig shook his head, trying to formulate a reason why the blond’s departure would be the best possible course of action.

“Listen, I’ll be fine,” Craig tried to tell Tweek, but he knew it was weak even before it left his mouth and it certainly didn’t convince the blond, who screeched and squeezed his eyes shut tight. “Tweek, please, I don’t want you to get hurt because of me,” the Noirette said urgently. The footsteps were getting closer and Craig knew that at any moment, they wouldn’t exactly have any more time to debate this. “Just run.”

“I’m not leaving!!” Tweek pushed out, narrowing his eyes and glaring at Craig. “I’m n-not letting you die!” Turning around jerkily so he could look at the door, Tweek growled out, “If they wanna hurt you -ngh- they’re gonna have t-to get through me first!!”

Before Craig even had time to form the word no, the door opened and five aliens poured into the room. Two of them instantly saw Craig and one pointed at him. “Moo moo!” it insisted, like it was giving directions. “Moo moo  _ moo _ moo!!” Backing up, even though he didn’t really have anywhere to go, Craig pressed himself against the back of his forcefield and only had time to think  _ oh shit _ before four different alien guns were pointed at him. 

_ Well Tweek, _ he thought, as his short and admittedly lackluster life flashed past his eyes. _ It was nice knowing you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to m- _

“OVER HERE Y-YOU -GNH- FUCKERS!!!” As an alien went over in a flash of light and pathetic mooing, Tweek came screeching into the scene, his gun raised and a grim expression on his ivory face. As the aliens turned to face the new threat, Tweek thumbed the trigger of his gun again and shot off a panel beside the head of the alien who had originally pointed out Craig. “I’M -RRR- RIGHT OVER HERE SO COME AND G-GET ME!!”

As Craig watched with wide eyes, Tweek hit another one of the aliens in the face, knocking it into its cohort that stood behind it. Finally getting their shit together, the three remaining aliens raised their guns and fired at Tweek, the shots tearing holes in their nice metal upholstery. As wires and bits of glowing stuff went flying everywhere, Tweek screamed and ducked, rolling for cover behind the other examination table.

“MOo moo!” one of the aliens yelled, before the aliens split and started to try and corner Tweek. Seeing this, Tweek let out a shriek before practically vaulting onto the table, firing at the aliens as he went. Dodging his shots, the three creatures took aim once more and it was only thanks to Tweek’s lightning quick reflexes that he didn’t get blown to pieces.

“JESUS CHRIST!!” Tweek shrieked, dancing over the fallen aliens as he attempted to get away. Watching him, Craig attempted to keep the examination table between himself and the remaining aliens as they moved towards Tweek, mooing angrily. “OH GOD- FUCK! I’M GONNA -NGH- DIE!!” Even as he said those words though, he turned and fired once more, hitting one of the aliens in the eye.

Hardly caring as their brethren went over, dead, the two remaining aliens looked not at Tweek but at Craig, and as one they moved for him.  _ Oh shit. Shit shit shit. _ Generally, in Craig’s experience, if the aliens came towards you, it meant that bad things were in your future. Granted his experience consisted of all of about thirty minutes that he could remember, but he felt that was ample in this case.

“Oh god CRAIG!!” Tweek shrieked. Fixating on the remaining aliens, Tweek ran for them with a scream of, “GET AWAY FROM HIM!!” At his approach, one alien turned around and fired at Tweek, forcing him to duck for cover, while the other passed through the forcefield around Craig and took aim at the defenseless Noirette.

“Moo moo moo,” the alien aiming a weapon at Craig’s head said conversationally, almost like it was disappointed that things had turned out this way. “Moo, moo moo  _ mo _ moo. Moo moo~!” Then it pulled the trigger.

In that second, several things happened very fast. First, Craig ducked and rolled for all he was worth, attempting to get as far away from the alien as possible. Second, Tweek let out a screech that people probably heard from the next state over. Third, there was a flash of light and a thump as a body hit the floor.

Opening his eyes, shocked that he was still alive, Craig found himself face to face with a very dead looking alien, which wasn’t pleasant, but at least confirmed the fact that he was, in fact, still breathing.  _ Tweek… He saved me. _ And in that second, Craig would have told anyone who was willing to listen that Tweek motherfucking Tweak was the most badass and amazing human to have ever existed on planet earth and probably the whole galaxy.

A moment later, he realized that if this alien had gotten through the forcefield, that must mean that something had let him. And if that train of logic followed, one could only conclude that Craig now had a way somewhere in front of him that would let him get free. Without any thought for his safety, Craig crawled out and pawed at the alien’s belt, which held a device that looked like the one that Tweek was holding. There were five buttons on it, which was already too many for Craig to process.

_ Well, here goes nothing. _ Craig pressed the blue button.

There was a loud  _ bang _ and a plume of black smoke suddenly erupted from the torture device above Craig. Good news; he didn’t get hurt. Bad news; the remaining alien chose that moment to turn at him and moo menacingly.

“Mooo moo~!!” the alien yelled before firing its weapon.

In the same second, Tweek screeched, “OH GOD CRAIGLOOKOUT!!!” 

Listening to the decidedly more important voice of the two, Craig ducked back behind the examination table, which was good because a moment later the remaining alien went flying and smacked against the forcefield hard enough to cause the entire thing to crackle.

There was a moment of silence, in which there was only the sound of machines complaining, alarms blaring and heavy breathing, then, “Craig?? Oh god- GHA ARE YOU ALIVE!?!”

Shaken, but okay, Craig crawled out from behind the table and held up his hands, as if to say  _ I’m okay, I’m in one piece. _ Tweek was standing there, his gun still raised, his eyes wide and fearful. The moment he saw Craig however, his whole expression melted into one of intense relief. Feeling the need to say  _ something _ before one of them started crying, Craig hoarsely said, “I’m okay Tweek. I’m  _ okay.” _

“Ngh- I thought-” Tweek managed, his eyes starting to water despite Craig’s best efforts. “I thought th-the alien had hit you!” Starting for the boy, only to remember the fucking forcefield that was in his way, Craig grunted in irritation before pressing the buttons on the strange device until the blue energy around him fell away. Suddenly realizing that he was free, it was all Craig could do not to run forward and sweep Tweek into his arms in a hug.

As it was, they both awkwardly dropped everything they were holding and ran into each other in a mess of words and apologies and reassurances that Craig wouldn’t have traded for the world.

Softly, his voice slightly muffled by Craig’s pajama shirt, Tweek whimpered, “I thought you w-were gonna die!” Craig’s heart lurched at those words, and it took a moment for him to get his throat to stop constricting enough for him to answer the boy. _ He was worried about me. He  _ saved _ me. Shit… _

“I’m fine,” he pushed out, forcing his lungs to start working properly. “I’m fine Tweek. Fuck,  _ I’m fine.” _ There was no way to properly explain all of the stupid and weird emotions roiling about inside of him, so he just pressed his face into Tweek’s wild blond hair and let the other boy’s shivers run through him like electricity.  _ I’m fine, you’re fine. We’re fine. We’re going to be  _ fine.

Pulling away enough to look up at him, Tweek looked between Craig’s eyes twitchily, like he was trying to stop the lie, trying to put his finger on what wasn’t right, but then he just whimpered again and tightened his hold on Craig. “There are aliens,” he whispered fearfully. “There are -rrr- aliens, and they caught us, and Jesus idontwanttodie!!”

“We’re not going to die,” Craig said firmly, even though his hands were tender as they ran through Tweek’s hair. “You were a fucking badass Tweek, you took on those aliens like it was  _ nothing.” _ When the blond stepped back and looked up at Craig skeptically, Craig snorted. “I told you you’d do fine.”

Shaking his head, reluctantly moving away from the Noirette, Tweek insisted, “Rrr- But we’re s-still stuck here!!” Lifting an eyebrow, Craig spent a beat searching about for one of those alien guns before bending down and grabbing one of the fallen weapons. As he hefted it, Craig aimed it at the ceiling and thummed the trigger. There was a flash and a nice little crater appeared above. Shooting the shivering blond a sidelong look, Craig  _ almost _ smiled.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he told the blond flatly, enjoying the way that Tweek’s eyes widened as he started to understand. “I think we might be able to fuck their shit up just fine.” And before Tweek had a chance to argue, Craig bent down and grabbed his fallen device before heading for the door. 

As the blond caught up to him and used his own device to open the door, the two of them broke out into the hallway, where the alarms were even louder than in the room they’d been in. Throwing his head about, Tweek let out a growl before jerking his head left. “Ngh- Th-that’s the way I came from! But I d-don’t know which way to go! I don’t -rrr- knowwhereanythingis!!” 

Letting his free hand land in Tweek’s hair, Craig calmly said, “It’s okay, you’ve got this. Which way did they seem to be headed?” Under his fingers, the blond stilled slightly before twitchily looking around and pointing left.

“Jesus I don’t know!!” he yelped, before chelching his jaw and adding, “B-but I think it’s this way.” Knowing that Tweek, under all those nerves, was far smarter than he gave himself credit for, Craig turned left and lead the way down the hallway, his recently acquired gun raised and ready. The whole alien ship seemed alive, but Craig focused his extra energy on the presence beside him, that glowing star that was Tweek Tweak.

“Moo Moo!” Turning in the direction of that alien voice, Craig didn’t even bother to warn Tweek, he simply lifted the gun over the boy’s head and fired, hitting one of the two aliens that were converging on them from an adjacent hallway. Ducking for cover, Craig grabbed Tweek around the shoulders and yanked him out of the way of the shots that the remaining alien sent their way.

“Oh GOD WHY WON’T THE LEAVE US ALONE?!!” Tweek all but screamed, tearing at his hair with one hand before darting forward and firing down the hallway several times. Craig felt his heart lodge in his throat as a bolt of light singed the edges of Tweek’s golden mane before the blond fired another shot and there was a  _ moo _ of pain as the alien hit the ground.

“Come on, we’ve got to find a control room or something,” Craig said, reaching out and catching the hand that Tweek held out to him as if on instinct. As his larger hand finally closed around the boy’s slim, cool fingers, Craig’s insides just settled, like the world had fallen back into place. Pulling ahead of him, Tweek all but yanked Craig along as he sped down the hallways. 

“Ngh- RANDY SAID THERE WAS A W-WAY TO DO SOMETHING!!!” Tweek screeched, his wild eyes never staying still for more than a second at a time. Keeping up with the shorter boy’s pace, Craig furrowed his brows at Tweek’s words and turned to look at the blond, only to get a rushed, “JESUSHEWASINTHEROOMIWASIN!!” When Craig raised an eyebrow, Tweek more slowly said, “I don’t know man! Stan’s dad is s-so weird!!”

“Yeah, he is,” Craig agreed at last, not even about to get into that can of worms. Following the boy towards another door, Craig lifted his device and pushed the green button, experimentally. Probably, he should have just left that kind of thing to Tweek, because one moment they were looking at the door and the next they  _ weren’t. _

It was like the biggest sneeze he’d ever taken, but backwards. That was Craig’s only description for the unpleasant sensation of dissolving and reforming in an entirely unknown location on the alien ship. There was a moan of fear and consternation from beside him, and Craig quickly looked down to find Tweek clutching his stomach, his eyes wide and horrified. “Jesus~” Tweek whimpered, shaking his head and twitching terribly. “Let’s -ngh- never do that again.”

“Agreed,” Craig muttered, once he was sure his vocal chords were still working. Looking around, the Noirette muttered, “Well, at least there aren’t any aliens over here.” The whole area was bathed in a green glowing light, which wasn’t very reassuring, but Craig was taking a leaf out of Clyde’s book and trying to look on the bright side of things.

_ “Sieg Heil!” _

“OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?!?” Tweek shrieked. Spinning quickly, Craig looked for the source of the sound, only to find a greenish glowing hobo limping towards them, his hand raised as if saluting them.  _ What the actual fuck? _ Instead of taking the time to question it, Craig lifted his gun and fired, taking the arm off of the shambling creature.

Growling, Tweek fired his gun twice. The first shot missed, but the second blew straight through the monster’s head, felling it. Watching the thing go over, Craig let out a whistle through his teeth before ruffling Tweek’s hair, unable to stop the pride from welling up in his chest. “Well, whatever it was,” he commented drolly, turning around and looking down the gloomy hallway. “It’s dead now.”

Spotting a ladder, Craig nudged Tweek’s shoulder and muttered, “I say we get going before something else finds us.” Shivering, Tweek nodded and hurried ahead of Craig, sweeping the area ahead of him with his gun as if ready to shoot anything that moved. While the boy covered him, Craig tucked the gun under his chin and climbed the ladder quickly, pushing the hatch above him out of the way.

“There’s nothing up here,” he called down to Tweek, even as he settled the gun back into his hands and waited for the blond below to join him. The moment Tweek popped his head out of the hatch, he shrieked and scrambled to get the rest of the way out of the lower level.

“Ghn- That’s where I was!!” Tweek yelped, before swiveling his head and pointing towards an alien who was lying dead on the ground. “THAT DOOR!!” he all but screamed, hurring forward, forcing Craig to keep up or get left behind. “It’s through here!!”

“How do you know?” Craig asked, looking down at the blond. 

Shaking fingers already tapping away at the mysterious keypad next to the door, Tweek pushed out, “I d-don’t.” Like a charm, the door glowed a happy blue, before sliding open, admitting them both. After a moment spent looking at Tweek in wonder, Craig shook his head and walked through the door, his gun raised and at the ready.

Inside, there was a wall of screens, each showing a different view of south park. Staring at them, mouth forming around several choice words, Craig had just enough forethought to grab for Tweek and press the boy’s face into his side to stifle the inevitable screams. They did indeed come, and Craig honestly didn’t blame the boy. It was one thing to think you were being watched, it was quite another to realize that, in fact, you actually were.

“I -ngh- knew it!!” Tweek screeched into Craig’s side, his shaking getting worse. “JESUS I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I-”

Lifting his gun, Craig let out a volley of shots, each one of them hitting a different screen, before he turned around and fired one last one at the motherboard, which sputtered before dying spectacularly. With it, the lights of the room went out, leaving them with nothing but the blue strip lights on the ground and ceiling for illumination. “There,” Craig said, firmly. “Now they aren’t watching anymore.”

And maybe he would have said more, but at that moment, the door to their left opened up, and Craig realized that they were looking into the cockpit of the whole flying saucer.

“MOoo?” one of the aliens said in alarm, turning around to look at them.

“Moo moo  _ mooo!!” _ the other yelped, reaching for a gun.

Craig was about to reach for his own gun when something was pressed against his stomach and a hole was blown through the back of one of the pilot seats, sending the alien that had been sitting in it skidding to the floor. Softly, in a voice that was dangerously calm, Tweek said, “N-never spy on my town again.”

Letting go of Craig, Tweek stalked towards the cockpit, his gun raised, his hair flying around him like the rays of the sun, his stance nothing short of deadly. He fired again, and this time, it was the controls of the ship that he fried. As the alien who was still seated tried to salvage the damage while the other alien tried to get its gun up to shoot at Tweek, the blond said, louder this time, “Never kidnap my friends again!”

Getting to its feet, the alien took aim at Tweek and let out a loud, “Moo!!”

Turning almost demonic eyes on the alien, Tweek suddenly screeched, “AND NEVER TOUCH CRAIG AGAIN!!!” Like lighting, the boy fired twice. The first shot hit the alien’s gun, the second, the creature’s face. Craig could only watch from the doorway as the blond spun in the same move and fired three shots directly at the remaining pilot, killing it instantly.

For a moment, there was silence, then the ship started to tilt alarmingly.

Realizing that  _ oh shit, there’s no one driving this thing anymore, _ Craig reacted without thinking. Lunging forward, Craig caught Tweek with one arm and twisted with the ship’s movement, letting the force slam him into the base of the control panels instead of Tweek. Curling around the smaller boy, Craig shut his eyes and let go of his gun so he could use his arms to tuck the blond’s head against his chest.

There was no time for talking, there wasn’t even time for screaming. All Craig had the chance to think was  _ Oh fuck this is going to hurt- _ before his world went white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GINGER PINCH I SWEAR IF YOU SPOIL ANYTHING FOR ANYONE I WILL GROUND YOU SO HARD-
> 
> *takes a deep fucking breath* 12x7, we can get there.


	86. Swifter Falls Than These

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *headdesk* FUCKING DONE BITCHES
> 
> Y'all better be fucking thankful I don't hate you and leave you on horrible cliffhangers.
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek woke up to the sound of another heart beating against his cheek. Which was wrong, because he’d been sitting in Bebe’s spare bed last he could remember, and besides, when did he actually go to sleep? And why was he outside? Why couldn’t he move? Where did this weight on his chest come from? Wait, what the hell was going on??

Attempting to jerk upright, the blond let out a groan as the thing that was covering shifted and creaked unnervingly. There was _definitely_ something preventing him from moving, which was what made Tweek start to panic. Frightened, the boy struggled harder, pushing against the cool metal thing that had him pinned down. _Oh god, what’s happening to me?? Where am I, how did I get here!?_ Forcefully shoving the _thing_ off of his chest, Tweek fought to open his eyes and finally succeeded, not that it did him much good.

There was smoke everywhere, that and horrible glowing green. Coughing and twitching, Tweek pushed the hunk of contorted metal away from him and looked around, trying to orient himself. As stuff started to fall back into place, insofar as things could when Tweek had no idea what was going on, the blond became increasingly more aware of the fact that he was on top of something, and that something was soft and definitely human.

With eyes that watered because of the particulates in the air, Tweek looked down, and felt his entire body jolt in fear as he realize who he was looking at.

Craig was unconscious, his mouth hanging open slightly and his body contorted into a position that looked _wrong._ As if that weren’t enough, the boy’s forehead was covered in blood, which seemed to be flowing from a gash below his hairline. _Craig?!_ Tweek shook harder as he struggled upright and tried to move backward. _WHAT HAPPENED TO US?!!_

Looking around, Tweek forced his stupid brain to cooperate and all too slowly, it started to come back to him. The aliens, the fights, the killing the pilots and then the crash. His last memory was of Craig tackling him and shielding him as they went down. _Oh jesus, he got hurt!! He’s bleeding and it’s because he was protecting me! What if he’s dead!! What if I accidentally killed him?!!_

“CRAIG!!” Tweek shrieked, scrabbling at the Noirette’s shoulders as he tried to pull the boy free from the wreckage. “OH GOD P-PLEASE WAKE UP!!!” At his screams, the boy’s face screwed up and he started coughing, which made Tweek’s heart leap into his throat before settling back down as relief washed through him. Unwilling to let go of the other boy, Tweek pulled Craig’s arm a little more insistently, dislodging him somewhat from the twisted remains of the flying saucer’s cockpit.

“Tweek?” Craig murmured, his voice sounding choppy and thick, like he was having trouble getting his mouth to work properly. After a moment, the boy opened his eyes, and Tweek couldn’t even begin to stop himself from lunging forward and hugging Craig. _Oh god he’s alive,_ the blond thought, almost like he needed to cement it in his own head. _Craig’s alive, we’re both alive._ As if his own thoughts had followed down a similar path, Craig muttered, “You’re alright.”

“Ngh- y-yes, I’m _fine,”_ Tweek pushed out, struggling to control his own shaking. “I’m alright.” He didn’t feel alright, but Craig was okay, so things were going to get better. As long as they could get out of this unscathed, Tweek knew that everything would be fine.

Despite their situation, Craig still found time to run a tired hand through Tweek’s hair. Though it probably shouldn’t have, Tweek found himself laughing, one of those stupid high-pitched giggles that he couldn’t control, because they'd just been abducted and survived crashing yet they still thought that this was the best use of their time. But it had been too long since he’d felt Craig show him genuine kindness like this, and Tweek had missed it.

Snorting softly himself, Craig struggled to sit upright, finally displacing Tweek, who yelped and hurried to help pull Craig free. The moment the Noirette was on his feet, he looked around and muttered, “Well Tweek, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” _Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?! Were we in Kansas before?? Where even is Kansas?? I’ve never been there!! WHAT IS CRAIG TALKING ABOUT?!!_ Distressed, Tweek screeched and yanked on his hair, which earned him a confused look from Craig.

“WHY ARE YOU -RRR- TALKING ABOUT KANSAS?!!” Tweek demanded, shaking and twitching.

Blinking at him, Craig shook his head and muttered, “Nevermind.” Wrapping an arm around the confused blond, the taller boy looked around and coughed again. “Where do you think we landed?”

 _Well, not in Kansas, apparently._ “I don’t know man,” Tweek answered, still tugging on his hair, but not as hard as before. Trying to see through the smoke and the greenish haze that seemed to be covering everything, Tweek muttered, “I just woke up! I h-haven’t looked around or anything!!” Stumbling forward, Tweek attempted to look for something recognizable only to almost run into what used to be the ceiling.

“JESUS!!” he screeched, leaping backwards, almost pushing Craig over. “WE’RE -GHN- TRAPPED!!”

Waving his arm about ineffectually, Craig turned to the side and said, “I mean, only technically.” Looking in the way he was pointing, Tweek saw the smashed windows and felt stupid. _Oh god, why does he put up with me, he probably thinks I’m so annoying. I think I’m so annoying, why does anyone even listen to me when all I do is say stupid things??_ “We should probably get out of here thought,” Craig added, interrupting Tweek’s train of thought. “Who knows if any of those fuckers are still alive.”

Realizing he was talking about the aliens, Tweek let out a cry of fear and screamed, “OH GOD THAT’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!” _What if they follow us?! What if they try to capture us again!?! What if they kill us?!! WHAT IF THEY KILL CRAIG???_ Craig’s hand landed in his hair, and Tweek couldn’t help but reach up and grab it, clutching at it like it was his only lifeline. “Jesus man, I can’t t-take anymore of these aliens!!” he admitted, shaking harder.

“Honestly, I’m fucking sick of their shit too,” Craig said, his voice already returning to its usual bland flatness. It calmed Tweek down, because if Craig wasn’t fazed anymore then he shouldn’t be either. How the Noirette had already gotten over the whole issue was beyond Tweek, but he supposed that if Craig could do it then he could too. “I just want to go to bed dude, I’m fucking tired.”

Glancing up at him, Tweek was about to answer when he noticing the blood covering half of Craig’s face again and screamed. “OH GOD, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!!?” Jerkily, the blond reached a hand for Craig’s injury without thinking and yanked his hand back a second later. “Y-you’re bleeding!! What if you get a horrible -gha!- A horrible d-disease from one of the aliens?! What if you die!?! OH GOD I COULDN’T HANDLE THAT!!!”

“Dude, it’s just a scratch,” Craig muttered, lifting a hand and touching the gash gingerly. “I’ll be fine. Let’s just get out of here.” Before Tweek could argue, the Noirette was pulling him out towards the exit, his strides sure and confident, as if he did this kind of thing every day. Keeping a tight hold on the taller boy’s hand, Tweek stumbled along behind him, his eyes going everywhere, just to make sure that no one was following them.

There were _aliens._ He was still trying to internalize this fact. There were legitimate aliens and they were green and tall and bug-eyed and terrifying and _why couldn’t they have just been his imagination??_ But they weren’t and he now had to deal with that. _Will anyone believe me when I tell them?! Do I tell them?!?! JESUS WHAT DO I DO???_ “OH GOD -NGH- EVERYONE’S GONNA TH-THINK WE’RE CRAZY!!!” Tweek screeched, pulling backwards on Craig’s hand just as the boy was about to duck through the broken window.

Puzzled, Craig glanced back at Tweek and furrowed his brows slightly. “Dude, this is South Park,” he pointed out, as if this explained pretty much everything. “If they react at all, I’ll be shocked.” Nothing shocked Craig, but Tweek sort of understood what he was trying to say. If people noticed, then they would, but they probably wouldn’t and panicking wasn’t going to help anything.

Allowing Craig to lead him out of the flying saucer, Tweek asked, “Rrr- d-do you think more aliens are g-gonna come after us??” Twitching violently at the thought, the blond quickly continued, “I mean, they wouldn’t want anyone to know about this, s-so wouldn’t they send something to kill us?! Jesus man, I’m only nine, I don’t wanna die!! I’m t-too young to die!!!”

“If they come after you, I’ll stop them,” Craig told Tweek calmly, navigating his way around odd puddles of green, glowing sludge. “Aliens are wimps dude, they’re not that hard to stop.” Even though Tweek wanted to disagree with Craig, just on the principle that they were _aliens,_ he had to admit that the Noirette had a point. They hadn’t been that hard to stop, and when push came to shove, he would have rather dealt with these aliens than the horrible creatures he’d created in his mind.

“Gha! I g-guess you’re right,” Tweek stuttered, shivering despite his words. “I just d-don’t like them man! They’re really scary!!!” Looking around at the wreckage, the blond added, “I mean, just look how dangerous they are!!”

Craig snorted before reaching over and ruffling Tweek’s hair in that way that he had that wasn’t exactly calming and wasn’t anything else that Tweek could name. “Not as dangerous as you, clearly.” Feeling his face go weirdly hot at that, Tweek made a distressed screeching sound that he clenched his teeth around in an attempt to hold back. Shooting Tweek a sidelong glance, Craig suddenly reached a hand up as if going for the brim of a hat that wasn’t presently there. Going a little red himself, making Tweek worry that he was already getting an infection from the cut on his forehead, Craig quickly turned his eyes back to where they were going.

“So,” Craig said, in that way that meant he wanted to change the subject. “What did Bebe want?” At the mention of the boy’s girlfriend, Tweek felt a number of confusing emotions run through him. A stupid flash of jealousy was the first one, but there were also a number of others, including reluctant hope.

Shuffling his feet slightly, scuffing at the gears and sprockets littering the ground, Tweek mumbled, “She w-wanted to talk about a lot of things. I don’t know -rrr- why don’t you ask her?”

For a moment, the Noirette didn’t say a word, then he muttered, “Because I wanted to ask you.” Oh, and there was that stupid little flicker of hope again. _They’re still dating, I shouldn’t be thinking like this. Even if they are going to break up, it’s not something I should be happy about!! It’s wrong, even if Bebe doesn’t say that it is and Craig doesn’t seem to care. Jesus, I should be a better friend._

Realizing that he’d left Craig waiting for an answer, Tweek squeaked before pushing out, “Ngh- W-we talked about weird things man, I dunno. She’s a girl!!” Shaking his head, Tweek mumbled, “B-but she said that she was getting tired of stuff and oh jesusIdon’tblameher!!!” While he stared at the ground in terrified silence, Tweek couldn’t help but squeeze Craig’s hand a little tighter, as though to reassure himself that the Noriette wasn’t just going to leave.

“Ye _p,”_ Craig muttered, popping the ‘p’. “We’re both tired of it.” Shaking his head, the boy muttered, “This whole thing has just been so stupid, I feel like I’m wading through shit nine times out of ten.” _Heh, he’s not the only one._ It was sort of good to know that he wasn’t the only one, even though Tweek already knew that Craig didn’t like the game. Hearing it again though felt nice.

Twitching, the boy let out a strangled sound that might have been a laugh before saying, “Jesus man, w-we just fought off aliens, and we’re worried about a make believe game? What is wrong -rrr- with us??” Stepping over some more green glowing goo, Tweek looked up and peered through the smoke at South Park, which had finally decided to show up. The town was still asleep, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that the residents honestly didn’t care about an alien invasion. Not at this time of the morning at any rate.

“Well, I’d say we’re both pretty fucked up,” Craig told Tweek, before snorting. “Come on, let’s get home. I’m tired dude.” Allowing the Noirette to pull him along, Tweek scrambled after the boy, his eyes adjusting to the pre-dawn gloom. It was better once they were out of the smoke. If Tweek never had to smell that green goo again, he would be grateful. There was so much running around in his mind, but at that moment, he was somehow able to shove it all to the side and just enjoy the feeling of Craig’s hand in his, the boy’s long steps matching his own quick, short ones.

It didn’t take them long to find familiar territory. Tweek didn’t really think about the decision to pull Craig towards his house instead of the Noirettes. _Well, at least my monsters got torn to shreds somewhat tonight. Maybe it’ll be more peaceful??_ They needed peace, _he_ needed peace. Craig needed something for his head, and Tweek would have killed for some coffee, so to his house they went. Craig didn’t argue, and Tweek wondered why, before realizing that asking a question like that was stupid and discarding it.

Craig didn’t even bat an eye at the whole thing until after they were in through Tweek’s backdoor and Tweek was in his kitchen making coffee. It was only then that Craig spoke again. “We have school tomorrow.” _What? Do we? After the alien ship?!!?_ But to be fair this was South Park so why would they not?

“Y-yeah,” Tweek muttered, shivering as he waited for the coffee to brew. Feeling Craig settle beside him, Tweek instinctively leaned, and was rewarded by the Noirette’s arm coming around his shoulders and holding him there, secure. “What are we gonna tell Clyde and -rrr- Token??” He could only just imagine what Clyde would say if he heard about Tweek and Craig getting abducted by aliens. Token would probably just take it in stride, to be honest.

“Dunno,” Craig answered, his voice as flat as ever. Watching Tweek as he pulled the finished pot of coffee over the counter to his thermos, the Noirette said, “Hey, do you think Jimmy will write a bardic song about it?”

At the idea of the boy singing about aliens and torture and weird guns that were shaped like dicks, Tweek shook his head rapidly, even though he was giggling. “Jesus man, that would be so weird!!”

“Probably,” Craig agreed, snorting as well.

As he finished making his coffee and sucked down a few sips, just to take the edge off of his nervous jittering, Tweek hurried towards his stairs, Craig in tow. They were quiet, which was a good thing considering it was somewhere around three in the morning, but Tweek knew full well that it didn’t really matter, because his parents were too crazy to care that he’d been up anyhow.

Leaving Craig in his room, Tweek retrieved the medical kit that they kept in the bathroom before scurrying back to Craig, who was absently fiddling with the little lego model of Stripe that Tweek had been keeping beside his bed. As the blond stared at it, stared at Craig, and then gave a strangled sound as he lunged for his coffee, Craig finally looked up. “I wonder what would have happened if it had been someone other than you with me on the ship.”

Eyes widening in horror at the thought, Tweek tugged at his hair with one hand while trying to keep a firm hold on his coffee with the other. “Oh god!! That’s too much pressure!!! What if they hadn’t gotten you out?! What if you’d died???”

“Yeah,” Craig agreed, putting down the model of Stripe before carefully closing his hands over Tweek’s thermos, reminding the boy of what he’d originally set out to do. Quickly snapping to, Tweek got out some of the antibacterial wipes and attempted to clean some of the blood off of Craig’s face. They said that head injuries always looked worse than they really were, and Tweek hoped so, because he wasn’t sure what he’d do if Craig was seriously hurt.

“Imagine if I’d had Clyde with me,” Craig muttered, watching Tweek as the boy dabbed at the cut carefully, not wanting to hurt him more. Thinking of the brunet with Craig, Tweek shook his head jerkily. “He’d have probably cried or something.”

“Ghn- I CRIED!!” Tweek yelped, before snapping his mouth shut and looking to his door in worry. After making sure that his parents weren’t coming in, Tweek quickly went back to cleaning Craig’s head injury. “W-what about Token?? I bet he would have b-been way more useful!”

“Nah dude, he would have been too methodical about it. We’d have been there for a week.” As Tweek finished cleaning the cut and started looking for the anti-bacterial cream, Craig muttered, “What if I’d been up there with Bebe.” Tweek froze, and clenched his hands around the role of gauze that he’d just picked up. The boy was silent for a moment longer, then he suddenly said, “Tweek, are you jealous of Bebe?”

The blond couldn’t answer, all he could do was stare at Craig as if he’d gone crazy. _HOW DOES HE KNOW?!!_ But Craig didn’t even look at him, he just stared over Tweek’s head, sucked in his cheeks and continued, “I don’t know if you are, but I think you might be. To be honest, I was jealous of Clyde that first time he pulled you away from me.” There was another extended moment of silence, during which Tweek tried to form words but simply failed.

“Maybe you already knew that,” Craig admitted, tugging on a piece of inky black hair in lieu of not having his hat around. “But I don’t think I really put it together.” _Why is he saying all of this?!? WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?!_ Except even though he wanted to ask, Tweek didn’t, because he wanted to hear more.

Craig, apparently, was more than willing to comply. “You know, I sort of knew that you were upset, but I kept hoping it would blow over, and it didn’t.” Needing to do something with his hands, Tweek grabbed for the anti-bacterial cream and started smearing it over Craig’s injury with twitching fingers. “I’m just really _shit_ at actually talking things out. And I think I started out with a good reason, but I lost it along the way.”

“Ghn- Oh _god_ you’re not the only one who’s -rrr- really bad at this!!” Tweek quickly jumped in, struggling to get the gauze to stay put long enough so he could cover it with medical tape.“I should have t-told you I was upset _ages_ ago!!” Finally succeeding, Tweek dropped the supplies back into the container before shutting it and pushed it off his bed, where it clattered, no doubt scrambling everything inside.

Craig made a sound like he wanted to say something, but then he took a deep breath instead and softly told Tweek, “It’s all going to be over soon, I promise.” Clearing his throat, the boy waited for Tweek’s eyes to return to him before saying, “I know I’m shit with promises, but I mean it this time.”

Brushing his hand over the bandage he’d just put in place, Tweek looked over the Noirette and twitched slightly before saying, “I -ngh- know you do.” And he did, oddly enough, because even after everything, even after trying to tell himself that Craig Tucker was nothing but a liar, his heart knew that the boy really did care, and at the end of the day, that was what mattered.

“I haven’t been talking to you,” Craig admittedly haltingly, his voice growing unsteady. “Because I felt like I didn’t have anything to show for myself. But I guess I’m a fucking wimp, because I couldn’t stay away for long.” As he stared at the boy, Tweek couldn’t help but think that if coming back made Craig a wimp, then he was trash because he hadn’t been able to last a day without needing his own mind to supply him with an imaginary image of the Noirette to keep him company.

Tugging Craig closer, Tweek gave into himself by wrapping the boy in a shivering hug. “Good,” he mumbled, unsure what else to say. “I m-missed you.”

Silence, then, “Okay.” And everything fell into place as Craig wrapped his own arm around Tweek and pulled him onto the bed as well. After a bit of fussing, Tweek found himself cocooned in his covers with Craig, curled up against the Noirette and content, because this was something that he was used to. This was okay.

Funny, how it had taken getting abducted by aliens to actually sort stuff out.

But this was South Park, so really, was anyone surprised?

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Okay, but who wants to see The Adventures of Astroboy and Jitterbug become an actual story?_
> 
>  
> 
> Shameless fluff, because I am shameless. I hope y'all feel better now. Kudos to my darlings back at the shitshow, you make writing a pleasure.


	87. For The Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, oh man, I feel dead inside.
> 
> But you know what, there are certain things that make me feel better, and one of those things is ARTWORK!!! And wouldn't you know, I have some to share. _Fshhhhhh~_
> 
> First off, we have a [beautiful drawing](https://upacreekwithcraigandtweek.tumblr.com/post/171363477285/new-art-for-teamalphaq-semantically-challenged) by our favorite Mianewarcher~ It's got three different doodles, each from different chapters, and I'm in love with all of them. The first is from chapter 80, and it's of Token talking to Craig. The second is from chapter 82 and it's of Bebe and Tweek. And the last one (the one that really broke my heart) was from chapter 86, and it's of Tweek thinking that Craig died. *throws something* _breaking my heart, as usual!_ Nevertheless, I love them. Thank you darling~
> 
> Our second piece of [fan art](https://xeikcor.tumblr.com/post/171260337167/why-would-tweek-ever-be-afraid-of-someone-who) was done by xeikcor and it's honestly so beautiful, I can't even begin. It's from an old chapter, but that doesn't make it any less brilliant and breathtaking. It's of Craig catching space in a jar and handing it to Tweek. The colors in this drawing are beautiful and it reminds me of a simpler time in this story. *smiles apologetically* I'm sorry it's gotten so complicated, but I swear, things will get better.
> 
> Our third, and final piece of [art](http://yu-nyx.tumblr.com/post/171241837823/creek-princess-mononoke-au-because-i-was) for today was done by yu-nyx and okay, it's not actually a piece of fan art per say, but they did say it was inspired, which is fricken goOD ENOUGH FOR ME! *throws something else* This thing is gorgeous and yeah, admittedly I don't get the reference, but I fucking love it anyway. It's of a really cute scene between Tweek and Craig and I don't know how to explain it, so you should probably just look at it. Really, I just wanted to bring it up because I wanted to say _thank you_ to you guys. It's an honor to have inspired even half of this stuff. Trust me, I treasure every single doodle I get.
> 
> Wow, I've talked long enough. Um... yeah.
> 
> Enjoy.

“Hey.”

Admittedly, not the best beginning, but Craig couldn’t help but feel awkward, standing in the empty classroom looking at the girl who had put up with his shit for far too long. He’d been psyching himself up for this all morning, and yet nothing could have prepared him for it. Not quite. Though, to be fair, he supposed he’d sort of seen it coming since the beginning.

“Hey Craig~” Bebe said softly, calmly, from her position standing in the doorway. She looked as flawlessly  _ her _ as ever, Clyde probably would have waxed poetic about it, but Craig’s only thought was that it didn’t matter. Because in the end she wasn’t  _ Tweek _ and he cared about his friendship with the boy a lot more than he did about this.

Sucking in his cheeks, tugging his hat down over his hair and the bandage that was still stuck to his forehead, Craig flatly said, “We need to talk.”  _ Just fucking say it, it’s not going to get any less dickish. _

Walking into the room, shutting the door behind her carefully, Bebe said, “Yeah, I’ve been thinking the same thing.” She was obviously trying to be bubbly about it, but it slipped off at the end, falling flat. Laughing awkwardly, she tucked her hair behind her ear and said, “I mean, there hasn’t really been the time, and things have been weird, but-”

“But now we have time,” Craig finished, snorting. It was funny, after talking to Clyde the night before and Tweek, during the parts of the night they hadn’t been fighting aliens, the Noirette felt a whole lot more sure about this. Looking up at Bebe, Craig found that the girl was already staring at him levely, like she was waiting.  _ I think we both are. _

So he stopped waiting, and spoke.

“I want to break up.”

As the weight came off of his chest, Craig continued, “You were never romantically interested in me, and I’m not interested in you. You’re a pretty cool person, but we were pushed into this relationship, and I’m sick of pretending for those assholes.”

Dipping her head, Bebe laughed softly. “Wow,” she muttered, running a hand through her mane of curly blond hair. “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was going to say.” Quickly looking up at him, Bebe said, “I mean, I honestly do think you’re a wonderful person Craig, but I don’t want this anymore than you do.” That, Craig realized, made something else in him lighten. Because something in him had been honestly worried about screwing this up, and this proved that he wasn’t.

Blowing out a breath, catching the smell of the goth kid’s cigarettes coming from the open classroom window, Craig shook his head and muttered, “Sorry I let it drag out so long.” Thinking of Tweek, repeatedly wishing Craig and Bebe well even though he hated the idea of them together, Craig added, “I guess there was one too many voices pretending it was a good thing for me to hear my own voice.”

“Craig, there are always going to be those voices,” Bebe told him, her words echoing the ones that Kenny had thrown at him the week before, albeit in a nicer voice. “People are always going to tell you want to do and you’re going to have to figure out if what they’re saying is the right thing to listen to. My mom says it doesn’t get any easier.”

“It would have been a fuckton more convenient if you’d followed your own advice,” Craig pointed out, looking down the bridge of his nose at her. “I mean, we  _ both _ should have fought a little harder for our own freedom.”

Huffing, though not defensively, Bebe answered back, “For your information Craig Tucker, girls are evil and you don’t just  _ date _ someone without at least pretending to be invested in it. Not if you want to be looked at as a good person.”

“Jesus, you guys are fucking vicious,” Craig muttered, whistling through his teeth.

Crossing her arms, Bebe raised an eyebrow and said, “Says the boy who put Cartman in the hospital earlier this year.”

“He deserved it,” Craig said, matter o’factly.

Bebe laughed. “Well, maybe we deserved this too.”

“How the fuck did we last a whole month?” Craig asked, rolling his eyes when Bebe laughed harder. Shaking his head, the Noirette told her, “Bebe, you’re a badass, and I respect that, but girls don’t make any fucking sense.”

“You’re a good guy Craig,” Bebe responded, her eyes sparkling. “But there are people who you need to focus that good energy on and I’m not really one of them.”  _ And there’s that  _ not making sense _ I was just talking about… _ But Craig only lifted his eyebrows and turned his head to the side, almost smiling at the sound of Bebe giggling.

He was about to move, when a thought occurred to him and he found himself turning back to Bebe, one eyebrow going up as he did so. “I have one question though.” Once Bebe’s face straightened out, Craig tipped his head up and added, “You know, because I doubt I’ll be seeing much of you before the game ends.”

Clearing her throat and assuming a more serious expression, Bebe crossed her arms and considered his words before saying, “Only if I get to ask you one in return.”

_ Well, fair’s fair. _ “Fine, but no bullshit. I want an honest answer,” Craig countered, before realizing how much of an asshole he was being and amending, “Or, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” When it was clear that Bebe was ready, Craig stuffed his hands into his pockets and stood up straighter. “Clyde.” At the name, Bebe let out a soft breath. “Do you like him?” Probably he could have been a bit more clear, but this was Bebe, and she wasn’t going to beat around the bush.

Clearly, her gaze steady, Bebe said, “Yes, I do.”

“Good,” Craig muttered, satisfied. “If he doesn’t ask you out after this game is over, tell me and I’ll knock some sense into him.” That earned him a musical laugh, and an embarrassed flush that only ever appeared on Bebe’s cheeks when she was talking about Craig’s friend.  _ Heh, finally setting things straight. About time, I’d say. _

“Okay, now it’s my turn.” Bebe’s words cut through the light atmosphere, and Craig’s face returned to his usual deadpan. For a moment, it looked like the girl was weighing her question, trying to work out if it was a good idea to ask it or not, but finally, she seemed to make up her mind. “What’s the most important thing to you?”

Well, Craig didn’t have to think about this one. “Tweek.” After a moment, he muttered, “But you already knew that.”  _ She wanted to ask something else, didn’t she? _ Reaching up and tugging his chullo down over his forehead, Craig continued, “What was it you really wanted to ask?”

Turning her face up to his, Bebe softly said, “Imagine if, when we were making peace, Tweek had been on our side for some reason, and they’d asked you to marry Tweek instead. Would you have?” Craig took a step back at that, and the backs of his legs hit the desk he’d been leaning against.  _ What the fuck?? _ If anyone else had asked it, he probably would have been pissed, but in this classroom, at this moment, with Bebe standing across from him, no malice or ulterior motives in her actions, he… Wasn’t.

After a moment of silence, Bebe laughed and said, “It’s stupid. I’m stupid. You can just ignore the questi-”

“Yeah, I probably would.”

Craig wasn’t sure what possessed him to say it, why he’d admitted to something so stupid, but he could almost see it. Especially considering what his  _ relationship _ with Bebe had involved. If it had been Tweek, he wouldn’t have minded at all. Yeah, Tweek was a boy, and Craig  _ wasn’t _ gay, but this was different. Tweek was different.

And sure, he’d put the moment and the question entirely from his mind after this, and he wouldn’t remember it for years to come, but thinking clearly as he was, Craig knew that it was true.

Dipping her head, Bebe said, “Just- Don’t forget this moment, Craig.” Then she turned around and walked towards the classroom door. As her hand touched the knob, she quickly turned and added, “Tweek and the others are probably looking for you, by the way.”

Just like that, the entire thing vanished from Craig’s mind. Because if Tweek was looking for him, then he clearly had other places to be.

 

“No, you fucking  _ stole _ the Stick, Kyle! You stole it from me last night which is entirely against the rules!!” Cartman looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel, though honestly when did he not?

“I never touched that Stick Fatass!!” Kyle shot back, his face red and his hands clenched into fists. His emerald eyes burned with righteous fury as he stared down Cartman. “You’re full of bullshit and everyone knows it!”

“Guys,” muttered the exhausted looking gamekeeper from where he sat between the two arguing parties. “Please, enough with the  _ shouting.” _ He was pretty much begging, but Craig didn’t blame the boy. Who  _ wanted _ to be between Cartman and Kyle fighting, after all. “Can we, I don’t know, settle this like civilized humans and elves?”

“Oh  _ Jesus-” _ Tweek whimpered, huddling up beside Craig, his eyes full of worry. “Why won’t they s-stop arguing??? Why does it even matter?? W-we’re going to fight over it anyway, why is Cartman -rrr- getting involved in the game so much suddenly?!?”

Pulling the blond closer, focusing on his lunch, or at least attempting to, Craig muttered, “Beats me, they’re all fucking idiots.”

“Craig-” Token started, only to earn an unimpressed look from Craig. That, naturally, didn’t stop the black boy for a second. “They’re both plenty intelligent actually, they just dislike each other.” Tapping the table with a finger, Token suggested, “Kind of like how you don’t like Kenny.”

“Hmmm? Did I hear someone say my name?” As Kenny slid into the empty spot beside Token, that should have contained Clyde, the sandy-blond laced his fingers under his chin and leaned forward. “Now, the way I see it, it’s better to let  _ them _ argue, instead of actually having to figure out what’s going on. Wouldn’t you agree Tucker?”

Remembering his own part in the disappearance of the Stick of Truth, Craig furrowed his brows and flipped off Kenny.  _ You already fucking know what happened, don’t act like an innocent party when you aren’t. _ True to form, the next words out of his mouth were, “Fuck off, McCormick.”

“IT’S NOT LIKE I WANT ANY OF YOUR POWERS!!!” Kyle’s yell interrupted their conversation, and Craig shot the table another look. “You’re such a dick Cartman! If I was going to take the Stick, I wouldn’t have done it at night! That would be bullshit.”

“Didn’t stop you last night,” Cartman pointed out. “Any time something suspicious happens, there’s always a dirty Jew behind it. And the only dirty Jew I know around here is  _ you _ Kyle, so I think we  _ all _ know what happened to the Stick.”

“Fuck off,” Stan helpfully interjected, before Kyle could start yelling again. “Cartman, we aren’t going to break the rules over something this stupid. Trust me, when we get the Stick from you, we’re going to make sure  _ everyone _ knows who won.”  _ What a dick, _ Craig thought, really without a good reason. There was just something about the self-important way Stan talked that irked him.

“Ah- well gee fellas, I think it’d be better if we didn’t argue ‘bout this no more,” Butters suggested, fiddling with his hands. “I mean, it don’t really matter how th’Elves got th’ Stick, does it? I mean, we just gotta take it back Eric!”

“WE DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING STICK!!”

“ _ Please, _ my ears.”

“You know, eventually they’ll get tired of this,” Kenny commented, rolling his eyes back to the other boys. “What about you three. Getting tired of the game? All the  _ bullshit _ as Kyle so eloquently puts it?” Craig hated the way that Kenny eyed him at those words, like they had a secret between them.  _ Fuck you Kenny, fuck you for being so goddamn good at this. _

Twitching violently from beside Craig, Tweek shrieked, “JESUS OF COURSE!!!” Yanking on his hair, the blond let out an involuntary growl before hurriedly saying, “It’s s-so bad now!! I’m tired of it!! I’m ready for it to be over, b-but we keep having to play! When is someone going to win??”  _ No one’s going to win Tweek, at least not either of them. _

But Craig couldn’t just say that, so instead he put his hand in Tweek’s hair and ruffled it gently till the boy calmed down somewhat. “Beats me,” the boy muttered, his voice flat. He felt unbelievably free at the moment, and he knew that logically he wasn’t, but he also knew that for the first time in ages, he was  _ free. _ Free from people telling him what he should and shouldn’t do. Free from others nosing into how he acted around Tweek. Actually, Craig was just feeling sort of liberated in general, and it was wonderful.

Shivering again, though not as violently as before, Tweek mumbled, “Ngh- I just wishitwouldbe over!” Shaking his head, the boy looked around before glancing up at Craig with those wide, worried green eyes that shone, even in the shitty cafeteria lighting. “D-do you know where Clyde is??” he asked, twitching as he spoke. “I h-haven’t seen him since class, do you think he’s -ghn- okay?”

“Come now Tweekers, is it  _ really _ a good idea to ask questions?” Kenny cooed, wiggling his eyebrows. “Does it  _ matter _ where Donovan is?”

Glaring at the boy, Craig was about to answer when Token stepped in for him. “I haven’t seen Clyde either, Tweek,” the boy said, entirely blasé about it. “But I’m sure he’s fine.” Giving Kenny a sidelong look that was as calculating as it was unimpressed, Token added, “Unless of course, you have information I don’t.”

“You say it like it’s an impossibility!” Kenny protested, leaning back and spreading his hands. “I’ll have you know that it should be a  _ certainty, _ I know everything Token. You don’t even come close to knowing the things  _ I _ do.” Craig sense that there was some underlying motive behind the words, but he was too busy calming down the whimpering Tweek to really pick it apart.

“Sometimes,” Token said at last, his gaze entirely unflinching. “Having information doesn’t mean acting on it.” Then he turned back towards his lunch, like this was the end of the conversation. But that was Token for you, and Craig didn’t really blame the boy. Kenny was a piece of shit, and the sandy blond knew it.

“I’m  _ hurt,” _ Kenny said, holding a hand over his heart before turning back to Craig and Tweek. The latter twitched and let out a scream that was muffled by the hand he slapped over his mouth. The former flipped him off easily. “So, looks like the two of you have made nice now~ I’m surprised, I thought we’d be dealing with another bout of emotional constipation for  _ sure.” _

“Fuck off,” Craig told the boy, realizing that at some point he was going to sound like a broken record. “It’s none of your fucking business what Tweek and I do.”

“Oh believe me, I don’t  _ want _ to know what you and Tweeky get up to when no one else is around,” Kenny told Craig, in such a way that implied way more than Craig had the energy to deal with. “But I still  _ gotta _ know, you know?” Laughing, the blond fixed Tweek with a mischievous look and asked, “So Tweeky, feeling any better now, or are you still fit to  _ explode?” _

“JESUS WHY ARE YOU EVEN -GHN- ASKING ABOUT THIS?!!?” Tweek demanded, jerking to the side. “Why are you acting like you c-care?!” Well, Craig had an idea, but he wasn’t about to share it. Besides, it was much more entertaining to watch Kenny’s face fall dramatically before the boy attempted to turn it into a winning smile once more.

“Because of  _ course _ I care!” Kenny announced brightly, spreading his arms wide again. “I’ve just got all this  _ love _ in my heart and I want to spread it to as many people as possible! It’s the right thing to do, after all. I’m all about equal opportunity.”  _ Coming from his mouth, it sounds wrong. _

Refocusing his attention on the bickering boys a table away from them, Craig watched as Kyle attempted to leap at Cartman only to be stopped by Stan. “Kyle, please, this isn’t the time,” the raven-haired boy was saying, sounding equal parts pleading and exhausted. “Don’t  _ kill _ him dude, there’s too much of him to clean up.”

“I’m not putting up with his bullshit anymore!!” Kyle yelled, struggling against Stan, who was clearly stronger. Spitting with rage, the boy snapped, “Say it again Cartman!! Say some more shit about my mom, because I swear, I will fucking  _ gut _ you!!”

“What, Kyle, do you want me to say some more about how much of a bitch your mom is?” Cartman asked, innocently, much to the apparent dismay of the game master, who slowly let his head fall against the table. “Because your mom, is the biggest bitch in all of South Park.”

“I WILL END YOU!! MY MOM ISN’T A BITCH!!”

“That’s nice Kyle, but allow me to remind you of something that we’ve talked about multiple times,” Cartman suggested, as if he found this all horribly amusing.  _ He probably fucking does, _ Craig thought, tightening his arm around Tweek, just on the off chance that the fatass happened to glance their way. “Before you tell me anything else about how your mom isn’t a bitch, consider; Jew opinions don’t matter, Kyle.”

“Why’s that Eric?” Butters asked innocently, tilting his head to the side. His question provoked a long groan from the game keeper.

“Because, Butters,” Cartman said wisely. “Not only are they soulless and not Mormon, but Jews are also sneaky, and you just have to watch them, because they’ll try and convince you of anything if you let them.”

Craig would have listened longer, but he was interupted by Tweek screeching and slamming his forehead against the table repeatedly. “AUGH JESUS -GRRR- JUST S-STOP TALKING!!!” he screamed, only stopping in his actions when Craig caught him and pulled him closer so that he couldn’t continue to attempt to split his head open. “I d-don’t want to hear it Kenny!!”

“No, but this is the important part Tweekers.” Kenny insisted, his eyes wide. “This is where you have to ask yourself, ‘Is this dollar really worth it?’ and if it is, you gotta go through with it.” Shrugging, the boy said, “Not that I would know, but I’m just saying, these are important life skills to have!”

“I don’t w-want any of your life skills!!” Tweek yelled, squeezing his eyes shut tight and shaking his head. “JESUS IT’S T-TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!” Calmly, Craig grabbed for the boy’s thermos and pressed it into the blond’s trembling fingers. At last Tweek’s panic stopped as he spent a minute fiddling with the lid of his coffee valiantly.

“You’re disgusting, Kenny,” Token said, absolutely sincere.

“What can I say, Token,” Kenny said, shrugging. “Not everyone grew up with a silver spoon in their mouth.

“It’s sterling silver, actually,” Token responded, entirely serious.

“FINE THEN FATASS!!” Kyle yelled interupting them yet again. “IF THAT’S THE WAY YOU WANT TO DO IT, THEN FIGHT THE ELVES!!”

“Oh yeah?” Cartman shot back his face pulled into a mask of irritation. “Maybe I  _ will _ Kyle, and once I’ve beaten you and your stupid Drow Elves, I’ll  _ make _ you give me the Stick back!” Crossing his arms, he added, “Then we’ll all see who the real liars are.”

“You know what, fuck you!” Kyle fired back. “I’m going to beat you so badly Cartman, you have no idea. I’m sick of this bullshit and I’m sick of  _ you. _ I’m going to defeat all of your lame-ass human warriors and you’re going to fucking tell us all about how  _ you _ hid the Stick, just to start a war.” Huffing loudly, the red-headed boy sat back, finally letting Stan brush up against him protectively, like he was silently threatening Cartman with death if he so much as laid a hand on Kyle at that moment.

“Wait, a -rrr- battle?!” Tweek shrieked, his fingers trembling around his open mug of coffee. “Against all of the Drow Elves at once?!? JESUS OH GOD THAT’S SUICIDE!!!” Quickly reaching his free hand around, Craig caught the boy’s drink before it spilled. Gently, he closed it once more before setting it down on the cafeteria table. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Craig insisted, even though he didn’t have the slightest clue how this was going to end, considering Clyde had the stick. “I promise, you’ll do great.”

“Aww, you two are so  _ adorable,” _ Kenny cooed, his eyes glittering. Craig flipped him off, just as Tweek screamed.

“Fine!” Cartman spat at Kyle defiantly, crossing his arms. “We’ll fight here, at school, after it’s over. And if I win, you’re going to give back the Stick and admit to everyone what a weak-ass Jew you are.”

“Thank  _ god, _ something you guys can agree on!” the game moderator exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air as if in silent praise. “Finally! So you’re going to have a battle after school? Wonderful. And it’ll be official. Which is good. I’m proud of us, we’ve actually gotten something worked out. Have I mentioned how happy I am that you’re  _ agreeing? _ You both should try it more often.”

Ignoring the boy, Kyle got to his feet and stood on the cafeteria bench so he could yell, “HEY EVERYBODY! THERE’S GOING TO BE A BATTLE TODAY, HUMANS VERSUS THE ELVES! Because  _ someone _ is hiding the Stick of Truth and saying that  _ we _ stole it.”

Clearly not about to let Kyle have the limelight, Cartman hefted himself onto the cafeteria bench as well and yelled, “YEAH, SO GET READY, BECAUSE WE’RE GOING TO WHIP YOUR DROW-ELF ASSES LATER TODAY!!”

As the rest of the cafeteria broke into talking about the game, Craig turned to Tweek, who was already staring up at him with big, trusting eyes. “Hmm?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, ruffling Tweek’s hair lightly without even thinking it through.

“Are we gonna get to -rrr- f-fight together??” Tweek asked, his voice soft and hopeful, oh so hopeful. For a moment, Craig couldn’t even begin to answer, because he was remembering what Bebe had said, about Tweek being the most important thing to him, and this made him realize just how true it was. But then Tweek twitched horribly and suddenly exclaimed, “OH JESUS F-FORGET I ASKED!!”

“I’m going to fight with you Tweek,” Craig said, his words cutting through Tweek’s tirade in a moment. When Tweek fell silent and stared at him, almost like it was too good to be true, Craig cleared his throat and said, “I’ll always fight with you.”

“Ngh- g-good,” Tweek said firmly, but he still leaned into Craig’s side a little more.

Craig for one, couldn’t complain a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCKING FINALLY!
> 
> Okay, okay, so now that we've had this exciting thing, I'm here to announce something equally exciting. The voice actors for the audiobook that's currently in the works are going to be doing a Q&A pretty soon, just to help them get that much more into their characters~ It's going to be Craig's gang, plus Kenny and hopefully Jimmy if we can swing it, and we'd _love_ it if you consider being a part of it. Basically you just get to ask them whatever south park related questions you want, and then watch the hilarity unfold.
> 
> But what I'm here to do is ask; if you could ask Tweek, Craig, Token, Clyde, Jimmy, or Kenny a question, then what would it be?? Literally, if you leave it here, it will be part of the Q&A. (feed us questions)
> 
> Hugs and adoration to Heidi (Emma) back at the discord~ Thank you so much for being around and helping everyone keep organized, I can't even begin to tell you how amazing you are.


	88. Wannabe Conformists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skedaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle.
> 
> Fuck, I'm sleep deprived. WHEeeeeeeeeee.
> 
> Oooh, which reminds me. Hey! Hey you! *points* Yes, you! You, who works with Cori! Who wanted them to try out for Craig without realizing that they'd already gotten the part!! I see you! You're awesome! Thank you for saying such wonderful things about this story, it really makes me happy to hear~ I hope you're having a wonderful day/week/month/year/life, and I hope that you find nothing but happiness in the future. You brightened my day.
> 
> To the rest of you though,
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek was getting really sick of this green goo that kept showing up everywhere.

“No, no, I’m telling you that I need more men!”

I mean, sure, he’d only seen it last night for the first time, but when it came to something like this, once was definitely enough.

“That might be, but-”

The smell was horrid, and it made Tweek feel physically ill. It smelled like torture and pain, like the total inability to get away, and the helpless choking terror that Craig wasn’t going to wake up again. Tweek _hated_ it. And yet here it was, once again.

“Kyle has too many people for us to deal with him without more help, and I will _not_ lose this fight. So don’t tell me, that I don’t need more help, _Token.”_ Cartman exclaimed, slamming his staff against the ground.

Of course, this time it was accompanied by shrapnel from the flying saucer, which really had no business showing up here when Tweek hadn’t been prepared for it. Craig, who was standing next to him with his arms crossed and his chullo pulled low over his forehead, didn’t seem to care, but Tweek very much _did._ Maybe the Noirette was already over it, but every time the shorter boy looked up at him, he saw the lump left behind by his own shoddy bandage job and cringed internally.

“I’m not saying you _don’t_ need more help,” Token attempted to argue, crossing his arms. “I’m just saying that you have more important things to be worrying about.” Gesturing at the greenish glowing hunk of shrapnel that had torn through half of Cartman’s castle, the boy continued, “Your castle is on _fire_ Grand Wizard, can we focus on the Stick later maybe?”

He had a point, the castle was definitely smoldering and glowing overall with a horrible, repulsive light. _Why won’t the stop arguing?? Jesus, I’ve had to deal with too much over these past few days, I can’t take any more of this!_ Oh, but when had that mattered to Cartman?

“But Kyle stole it and he won’t even admit it!” Cartman exclaimed, much like a pouty child. “He’s a dirty Jew, and that’s _clearly_ more important! Come on Token, you should agree, the Jews are terrible people. I mean,” he narrowed his eyes and admitted, “Well, you’re too black to be Palestinian, but the Jews have probably screwed over the Africans at some point.”

At which point Token lost his patience, “Okay, so _first_ off-”

“OH JESUS NO!!!” Tweek finally burst out, reaching a hand up and yanking on his hair as his face twisted grotesquely. Instantly, Craig’s shoulder bumped up against his and the look the Noirette gave him said very clearly, _they can’t get you anymore. They’re gone._

 _So he does care,_ Tweek thought distantly, and the clenching fist around his organs loosened somewhat.

“Um, Grand Wizard, where are we supposed to _find_ more people,” Scott Malkinson interrupted nervously, which in Tweek’s mind was a wonderful thing. “I mean, haven’t we sort of pulled everyone who’s allowed to play into the game already? The only people who aren’t playing are the trekkies, right?”

Princess Kenny, who was lounging across the bench that someone had pulled over, picked his head up from its place in Butters’ lap and called, “Don’t be silly Scott, there are _always_ more factions and people to bring into the game~” Laying back down, closing his eyes, Kenny continued, “For instance, the Goth Kids are technically registered as a separate faction, yes? And what about the girls? Perhaps they can help us _lay waste to the entire Elven Base.”_

At the idea of Bebe and Craig fighting together, Tweek couldn’t help but let out a squeak. Even though the matter felt resolved, at least between Craig and him, he still didn’t know what was going on with Bebe and he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. “Ngh- C-can we just get the goths??” he asked, shivering. “I mean, do we r-really need to drag the girls into this?”

Opening one eye and giving Tweek a mischiveous look that made the blond jump back with a start, Kenny softly purred, “But Tweekers, the girls are far more powerful than The Goths ever could be, don’t you know? Girls could take over the world if they could just stop worrying about whether they were wearing the same dress as each other.”

Clearing his throat, Craig said, “Actually, I talked to Bebe over te- The _Carrier Ravens,_ and the girls want no part of this one. They’re still a little bit pissy that The Grand Wizard and the High Jew Elf spent lunch time arguing about the game.”

Crossing his arms, Cartman muttered, “Well, Feldspar is right I guess. I don’t want Wendy Testaburger anywhere near the Elves, because she’s dating Stan again and she’ll be a dirty traitor if we give her the chance.” At the words _dirty traitor_ Kenny looked at Craig, and the Noirette flipped him off. Unsure what that was supposed to mean, Tweek furrowed his brows and let out a soft growl, which prompted Craig to bump up against him again.

“W-well gentlemen, I don’t mean t’interupt or nothin’, but if we’re gonna get th’ goths t’play, then someone’s gonna have t’go get them!” Butters piped up. He’d been silent up until that moment, but Tweek didn’t blame him. He would be scared speachless if Kenny had decided to rest his head in his lap too. “Do they even play? I mean, I’ve never seen’em around, s-so what if they don’t really wanna play??”

“They took the time to register,” Token pointed out, having already gotten over Cartman’s comments. Honestly though, the day Token actually got upset about something Cartman said would be the day that Tweek stopped needing coffee. “They might not be currently active, but they’re part of the game, and if we’re going to go to the trouble of finding more help, then the Goths would be a suitable choice.”

“Yep,” Craig agreed, popping his ‘p’ as per the usual. It made Tweek giggle, which in turn made Cartman mutter something under his breath and roll his eyes.

Whatever he’d said, Kenny followed it up with, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“So who’s gonna go get them?” Scott asked, clearly the only one there that actually was paying attention to the proceedings. “Cause someone needs to tell them, otherwise we’re never going to get anywhere. And I have to put the castle out still!”

“I volunteer Tweeky and Fucker as tribute!” Kenny announced, raising up a delicately gloved hand. “After all, Feldspar’s practically already gone through his goth phase, and Tweekers drinks enough coffee to be one of them, they’ll fit _right_ in.”

“Hmm, that actually makes sense,” Cartman admitted, nodding along with Kenny’s words. “Lady McCormick, you might be right. If anyone should go after the Goths, its them.” Pulling something from his robes, Cartman shuffled over to Tweek and Craig and handed them a scroll. “Here, it’s a more official summons, seeing as they might only listen to authority, which I have.”

Raising an eyebrow, Craig took it before flatly saying, “How do you know the Elves took the Stick?”

“Oh my god,” pressing a hand against his temple, Cartman said, “Because _Feldspar-”_

“Craig.”

 _“Because Feldspar,_ the only dirty cheaters in this game are the Drow Elves, and Kyle, who is their leader, is a dirty Jew who’s already pulled this trick on us before. He needs to learn that his actions have consequences!” Cartman glared at Craig, who stared right back at him, entirely unimpressed. _Wow, I missed this,_ Tweek realized, even as the rest of his brain shrieked about how Craig was going to get himself killed. _I missed him standing up for himself. It’s… nice._

“Look, just go,” Token said. “We’re going to figure this out one way or another, so why _not_ rush into it.” Shaking his head and turning around, he continued, “I mean, it’s not like waiting and thinking things through would be the intelligent decision.”

Scott raised his hand tentatively. “Um, so can we do something about the castle now?”

))))-((((

“I don’t th-think they did it.”

Tweek shivered as Craig looked down at him with a raised eyebrow. Admittedly it had been a total non-sequitur -they’d been talking about Red Racer up until a minute before- but it had been brewing in the back of his mind, and he hadn’t been able to stop himself from letting it out. Of course, now that Craig was staring at him, Tweek realized how crazy he sounded.

“OH JESUS I MEANT THE ELVES!!!” Fumbling at his belt for his small thermos, Tweek gulped down half the container of espresso as Craig hummed softly, thinking over what he’d said. _He probably thinks I sound stupid. But it’s Craig, he doesn’t usually think I sound stupid. Oh god, I think I sound stupid!! What if-_

“Yeah, I don’t think they did either,” Craig finally admitted. He was fiddling with his phone while they walked, intent on _something,_ not that Tweek knew what. _Bebe, probably._ But Craig was here with him, and Tweek managed to quell the remaining sparks of jealousy that flared up without too much trouble. Remembering Craig’s arms around him the night before, Tweek had to admit that being jealous at this point would be a little stupid.

“Rrrr- Kyle’s a lot of things man, b-but he’s not stupid!” Picturing the angry redhead, Tweek shivered in apprehension and said, “He’d be more likely to break it than steal it at night!” _Oh god, but if he breaks it, then what happens to the game???_ Shaking his head violently, Tweek muttered, “H-he would have done it better if it had been him. Only Cartman’s s-stupid enough to try the same trick twice.”

“I agree,” Craig hummed evenly, tugging at his chullo as he did so. “Stan and Kyle are fucking idiots, but at least they’re smarter than Cartman.” Shrugging, he added, “Besides, they honestly didn’t seem to have known what happened when Cartman talked to them at lunch.”

“Th-they could have been lying!” Tweek squeaked, but he didn’t mean it. Craig was right, the two Elves had been perfectly clueless, much more clueless than two people who were pretending to be clueless could have managed to be, and Tweek would know, he did clueless really really well. “But I d-don’t think they were. They don’t have the Stick.”

“Nope,” Craig agreed, his gaze steady as they continued walking. They were almost to school, the only place either of them knew to look for the Goth kids, but Tweek wasn’t really paying attention. No, his mind was full of a million thoughts about the game, Cartman, Elves, and admittedly, Craig. Only one of those things was in any way a good thing.

“B-but then I don’t get what’s going on,” Tweek muttered, scuffing his feet against the sidewalk as he walked. “I mean, who else would have stolen the Stick??” _Ugh, this game is so stupid. What if Cartman still has it?? Or what if Kenny stole it!! That sounds like something he’d do. And Jesus, where’s Clyde?!? WHAT IF CLYDE STOLE IT?!?!_ Letting out a screach, Tweek smacked his forehead with the heel of his hand and was about to do it again before Craig caught his wrist and held it loosely, keeping him from continuing his attempt to knock the thoughts from his head.

“I’m not sure it matters anymore,” Craig said, his words slow, like he was choosing each one of them carefully. “I don’t think the game is going to be around for much longer, eventually, Kyle and Cartman are going to tear eachother apart. And if they don’t then everyone is going to get sick of their shit and leave them. Who has the Stick is irrelevant, all they care about is showing the other who’s better.” The Noirette squeezed Tweek’s wrist slightly, and he he sucked in his cheeks, looking to the side darkly almost. “At least that’s what I think.”

“I h-hope you’re right,” Tweek said, shivering and squirming his hand a little till he managed to catch Craig’s hand in his own. Tightening his hold on the taller boy’s rough fingers, Tweek squeaked, “I’m -rrr- ready for this game to be over man!”

As he reached the gate that closed off the alley outside of school from the outside, Craig snorted and said, “Yep. Let’s get this shit over with.”

Pushing open the gate, Tweek kept ahold of Craig’s hand as he crept into the alley. Hit in the face with a blast of familiar cigarette smoke, Tweek sneezed and shuddered as the music that the Goth kids always played got louder. _I don’t like them, they’re terrifying. What if they try to kill us?? What if I get cancer from the smoke and I die?!? Do they sacrifice their victims?? WHAT IF THEY SACRIFICE ME TO SATAN?!?_

Except Craig was with him, and with the Noirette around, Tweek felt like he could probably keep himself from getting sacrificed a bit better than he would have been able to do otherwise. Which is why he attempted for confidence as he walked around the large trash bin and faced the four familiar kids who were sitting there.

The Goth kids had hung out here for as long as Tweek could remember. There were four of them, and despite the fact that they were very obviously different, most of the time Tweek thought they all sort of looked exactly the same, just different heights and genders. Pete, Michael, Henrietta and Firkle were there names, as far as Tweek knew. They’d always been here, always smoking, always dressed head to toe black no matter the season. It was mildly terrifying, but then again, they’d never thrown anything at him, so Tweek supposed they weren’t _horrible._

None of them bothered to glance their way when they walked up to them, they only reacted after Craig had cleared his throat. When they looked up at the pair of them, Tweek tilted his head up and Craig, true to form, flipped them off.

“Oh, it’s you,” muttered Pete, flipping his hair out of his eyes before it promptly fell back across his face.

Pulling her long, delicate looking cigarette holder from her mouth with a netting covered hand, Henrietta looked Tweek and Craig up and down and drawled, “Um, what are you two doing back here?” It was amazing how preppy someone who hated the preps could sound. _Oh god, why am I doing this, they’re terrifying, they hate people like me!!_

From his seat on the steps, Michael blew out a cloud of smoke and said, “You both look like fucking conformists. What are you even _wearing?”_ Tweek struggled not to reach his hands into his hair, but it was a close thing. Instead he clenched his fingers around Craig’s hand and wished that they’d stop staring at them like that. There were few things more scary than a group of heavily painted people all giving you the same dead expression.

“I think it’s supposed to be armor,” Firkle supplied, his black hair falling into his small pale face. “But I don’t know, I just work here.”

Groaning, Michael said, “Beat it you two, I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now.”

Stepping forward before Tweek could scream, Craig flatly said, “Tough, because we have the energy to deal with you. So you’re going to have to get used to it, because we’re not just leaving.”

“Uhh, who asked _you_ for your opinion,” Henrietta asked, looked up at Craig with her lips twisted into a disgusted line. “Cause I don’t remember asking.”

“We just won’t talk to you,” Pete told Craig flipping his hair out of his face once more in what Tweek knew was nothing but a vicious and endless cycle. “Leave us alone, we don’t care.”

“They might not listen, people can be unbelievably stupid,” Firkle muttered, lifting his little cigarette to his mouth before taking a drag. The motion was mimicked by the other three, and as one, they let out streams of white, spicy smoke.

 _Oh god, why do_ we _have to deal with them??_ “W-we aren’t here because _we_ want to be!!” Tweek burst, shivering hard. “We’re here because the Grand Wizard sent us!!” At that, Michael looked up suspiciously and Craig hurriedly dug around under his cloak for the scroll, which he handed to Pete. Reading it, the boy passed it onto Henrietta, who frowned and finally handed it up to Michael.

“Join the Kingdom of Kupa Keep to battle the wicked Drow Elves,” Michael read, his tone implying that this was the _worse_ piece of poetry he’d ever read. “All recruits welcome.” Rolling his eyes, the boy balled up the scroll and said, “Sorry Frodo, but we don’t play dungeons and douchebags.”

 _OH GOD MY NAME ISN’T FRODO!!!_ “GRR- IT’S NOT DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!!” Tweek screeched, glaring at the goth kids, who didn’t react to his outburst at all. “W-we just need help, alright?!?”

“Tweek, we _don’t_ want to play,” Pete said, his brows knitting together. “So beat it.”

“Aww come on, let’s do it,” Firkle said unexpectedly, surprising Tweek, who stumbled backwards, blinking at the boy. When the other Goth kids looked at him suspiciously, the first-grader said, “We never do anything, wallowing in the misery of the world is hard when we don’t go anywhere.”

“We went to that cafe that one time,” Pete ventured, puffing on his cigarette and watching Firkle in concern, as if he’d grown a third eye. “That was going somewhere. We drank coffee. Why would you want to go anywhere with these conformists.”

“We always drink coffee,” Firkle reminded Pete.

“Look, we can’t just do what they’re saying, okay?” Michael snapped, tapping his foot against the pavement in annoyance. “They’re nothing but conformists. Look at his hair.” He gestured at Tweek, who twitched and let out a soft involuntary cry. _I know it looks horrible, don’t remind me!!!_ “And look at his cape!”

The moment the boy’s words were aimed at Craig, Tweek growled. “Ngh- D-don’t just talk about us like we’re not there!!!” Gripping the handle of his club in an attempt to calm down, the boy ground out, “Jesus if you don’t want to p-play then just say so!! Rrr- I don’t care!! It’s only Cartman th-that cares!!” All four of the Goths stared at him, making Tweek shiver, but stand his ground regardless.

After a moment of silence, Henrietta admitted, “I mean, it might not be _that_ bad. It’s not like it can make me want to die anymore than I already do.” Taking a drag, the girl said, “Maybe we should play so they’ll leave us alone.”

“Come on Michael, you might almost have fun,” Firkle said, his eyes wide under all the eyeliner.

Huffing in irritation, the boy muttered, “Ugh, I need more coffee, this is too much for me to deal with right now. You conformists make me feel dirty.”

“Actually, coffee sounds really good right now,” Pete agreed, looking over at Michael. “I need more energy if I want to deal with these idiots.”

Unexpectedly, Craig said, “If we get you coffee, will you play?” Looking up at the boy with a sound of surprise, Tweek found the boy intently studying the Goths with that unnervingly blank expression. Squeezing the boy’s hand more tightly, only just remembering that he was still holding it, Tweek was rewarded with Craig’s soft nudge as the boy bumped up against him comfortingly.

Taking a moment to communicate silently with the other Goths, Michael finally said, “We’ll talk about it after we have coffee. I’m not making any promises, you guys are conformists, and I hate being around conformists almost as much as I hate the rest of humanity.” _Why would anyone hate everyone that much?? Doesn’t that take a lot of energy?? But then, Craig hates everyone and he seems to do fine at it. I wouldn’t be able to hate that many people at once, that’s way too much pressure!!!!_

“Dude, we really don’t care about your Emo shit,” Craig bit out, looking duly unimpressed.

“Oh my god, we’re not _emos!”_ Henrietta snapped, as if this was a sore spot for her. “We’re fucking _Goths_ get it right, asswipe!”

“Yeah, Goths are cynical, Emos are just nihilistic,” Pete agreed, flipping his hair out of his eyes.

“But I thought we were the nihilistic ones,” Firkle said, his frown exaggerated by his makeup.

Pete turned around and furrowed his brows at the younger boy. “No, we’re clearly the cynical ones because- Look, it doesn’t matter.”

“See, you’re being nihilistic,” Michael said matter o’ factly.

“JESUS OKAY!!” Tweek shrieked, shaking his head hard in an attempt to get the thoughts out of his head. “W-we’ll get you your coffee!!” Before he had to deal with any more conversation, Tweek ran down the alley, pulling Craig after him. _You see, this is why I don’t like them!_

“God they piss me off,” Craig muttered the moment they were a safe distance from the other kids. Tweek shivered, but didn’t disagree. “I mean, I get it, the world sucks, but do we have to spend all day writing poetry and crying about it?” Huffing, the boy let go of Tweek’s hand and instead pulled his cloak tighter around his shoulders. “I would have rather talked to the goddamn trekkies.”

“They aren’t th-that bad,” Tweek found himself saying, gripping his belt in the absence of Craig’s hand. Jerking horribly, he quickly amended, “I mean oh _god th-they’re horrible!!!_ B-but they never threw things at me when I used to sit out there for lunch -ghn- and they’d sometimes share their coffee when I ran out.”

Craig was silent for a moment, and when Tweek whipped his head up, he found the boy staring at him, his brows drawn together. “People threw things at you.” It wasn’t so much a question as a statement. And yet in it, Tweek found a whole host of emotions that Craig was keeping carefully locked down just beneath the surface. _I wish I could see what he’s thinking._

But he couldn’t so he just stared into those shockingly blue eyes and stammered, “I m-mean, yeah, all the time. Rrr- s-some sixth graders used to throw rocks at me when I was in second grade because they thought it was funny w-when I screamed. And jesus! Cartman’s always thrown stuff at -grrr- me!!” Shivering, he insisted, “It’s not th-that big a deal, I mean, no one does it now.”

“No one should have ever done that to you,” Craig muttered, and then, just as Tweek might have predicted he would, the boy reached over and wrapped a protective arm around him, pulling him close to his side. “People are shit Tweek, and it fucking sucks.”

“I’m over it now,” Tweek mumbled, even as warmth spread through him.

“It pisses me off that you have to get over it,” Craig mumbled, and though Tweek would never have accused Craig of being awkward, the boy sounded like he wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m sorry I never stopped anyone when we were younger.”

“You couldn’t have -ghn- known,” Tweek pointed out.

“I can still wish,” Craig muttered.

Stopping, right outside of the coffee shop which they’d somehow reached much faster than should have been possible, Tweek looked at Craig and said, “I’m just glad you’re my f-friend now.” Nibbling at his nails before yanking his hand away from his mouth, the boy softly continued, “Before I knew you, everything was s-scary, but now stuff isn’t that scary. And when you’re around, even stuff like the alien ship doesn’t seem th-that bad.”

Once more, Tweek felt a few words attempt to crawl their way out of his mouth, but he couldn’t have known what those three words were, so he swallowed them back down and simply watched Craig, watched as the boy’s eyes softened and he reached out a hand towards Tweek’s hair. The boy didn’t really need to speak, because Tweek kind of just _understood_ and he hoped that Craig did too.

Just as the boy’s hand landed in his hair, there was the sound of a familiar someone clearing their throat. Spinning on his heels, Tweek suddenly realized that they were surrounded by boys in green. _Elves._ All of them had weapons drawn, and it only took one look at them to know that they were powerful. _Jesus, what’s going on???_

Stepping into Tweek’s line of sight, the owner of the laugh grinned, raising an eyebrow at Craig as he ran a hand through his golden curls. “Well well well, if it isn’t the monster duo once again. You know, it’s like every time I think that I’ve seen the last of you, you both pop up again~” Shaking his head, Chris Donnelly shrugged. “Hey, I’m not complaining, you two aren’t _completely_ intolerable.”

“Oh, it’s _you_ again,” Craig muttered, rolling his eyes even as his hands twiched towards his knives.

Chris let out another laugh. “So _touchy.”_ Shaking his head the boy continued, “While I’d love to just chat, I’m actually here for business. The Elf king has requested your presence Feldspar, and even though you’re allowed to fight back, I’d suggest that coming quietly would be the best.”

“Wait, wh-where are you taking him??” Tweek demanded, his hand tightening around the handle of his club. “Why are you taking Craig?!” _Oh god, I can’t have something like this happen again, the last time they took Craig, it was the girls and he ended up married, I can’t handle this anymore!!_

“Look, Tweek, I’m going to be real here, I have no idea,” Chris said, shrugging. “But Kyle’s the king, and he told me to bring Craig to him. So that’s what I’m going to do. You… well, you weren’t included in that.”

“Th-then you can’t have him!!” Lifting his club suddenly, Tweek readied himself for battle. “Craig d-doesn’t have to go anywhere with you Elves!! He’s gonna stay right-”

“I’ll go.”

 _Wait, what??_ Staring at him in surprise, Tweek couldn’t even begin to formulate a response as Craig continued, “I’ll go with you assholes to wherever Kyle wants me, but in return, you leave Tweek out of it.”

“Fair enough.” Shrugging, Chris Donnelly said, “Trust me, we’ll return you in one piece, probably.”

“But-” Tweek tried to start, but Craig cut him off with a calm, even look. Those eyes said _trust me_ and Tweek realized that despite everything, he honestly did.

“I’ll be fine,” Craig said.

“Now that we’ve said the tearful goodbyes-” Chris signaled to the other boys and one of them pulled out a bag which they threw over Craig’s head. Glancing at Tweek, the curly blond boy said, “Look, just, don’t make this awkward.”

Before Tweek could ask what that meant, something heavy connected with the back of his head and everything went black.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> H a h. Fuck me up man.
> 
> Heyyy, so I just wanted to say, if you aren't already there, come join the [discord](https://discord.gg/zXgmKhb) cause there are lots of pretty people there. You can become one of them, I believe in you.
> 
> Until next time~ mom away!!


	89. Elves for Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _le gaspe_
> 
>  
> 
> It only took me like, what, a week??
> 
> But never mind that, I have art to show you guys!! If you're already in the discord, you've probably seen this beautiful [masterpiece](http://appleminer.tumblr.com/post/171811189900/%EF%BE%9F-%EF%BE%9F-another-drawing-based-on) by Appleminer, but in case you haven't, then you _need_ to. Its from chapter 74, a favorite bit a fluff in the midst of a lot of pain, and I love it. Her coloring skills are on point, and can I just say that the eyes of both of them are so beautiful. Like wow, I love it. This really cheered me up, getting this piece of fan art, so I hope that it does the same for the rest of you~
> 
> We're getting so close to the end of this blasted SoT arc. Which is good because I want Creek, like, now.
> 
> Enjoy.

To be fair, Craig didn’t exactly have time to get upset about Tweek.

He’d already resigned himself to his fate, and didn’t care enough to fight back against Chris Donnelly or his elves, and he had a feeling that Tweek was as well, but then they’d knocked out Tweek. Craig had  _ heard _ the body slump to the ground. And then they’d hit him over the head, and well, it was kind of hard to be upset about something when you were unconscious. So he hadn’t immediately gotten upset over the fact that they’d knocked Tweek out.

He did, however, make sure to make his views on the matter very clear the moment he woke up.

“Yeah,” Chris Donnelly wheezed, doubled over in an attempt to catch his breath after Craig’s solid punch to his stomach. “I deserved that, didn’t I?” Pulling himself upright, Craig stared at the backs of the Elves surrounding the two of them, almost like a shield, but probably more like guard. They didn’t pay attention to how he’d reacted to waking up, making him think that they’d probably expected it.  _ Good, I’m not about to just bow to these people. _

“What the fuck did you do to Tweek?” Craig asked, even though he already had a pretty good idea of what had happened. His head kept throbbing punishingly, which was probably to be expected, and his memories were still a little hazy, but he at least had some idea of what had happened. “You  _ said _ you weren’t going to hurt him.”  _ If he’s not alright I’m going to h- _

“We didn’t hurt him,” Chris said, finally getting his bearings back. The boy was shorter than Craig, but he didn’t cow under the Noirette’s glare, which admittedly did him credit. “We  _ just _ knocked him out. He’s in the backroom of Tweek Bro’s right now.” Glancing down at his phone, the boy added, “He hasn’t even woken up yet. If we get this over with quickly enough, you can be back before he does wake up.”

“How is knocking him out not hurting him?” Craig demanded, suffering under his lack of weapons as he glared daggers at Chris Donnelly, who was still armed. The blond boy rolled his eyes, as if this should be obvious, but okay it  _ wasn’t _ and fuck him for acting like it should be. “He didn’t fucking deserve that. Don’t fucking tell me otherwise, because I’m sick of your Elves and your bullshit already, and I only just got here.” Here being, by his best estimation, Kyle’s back yard.  _ And knocking me out was necessary why…? _

“Come on Craig, Feldspar,” Chris said, tipping his chin upwards slightly, his curly blond hair ruffling slightly as he did so. “You know Tweek better than any of us do but even  _ we _ know how well he reacts to you vanishing on him.” Though Craig didn’t want to give ground to these people, he couldn’t deny that Chris had a point. Tweek did have a habit of flying off the handle when people or, in the case of the aliens, creatures separated him from the Noirette. It made an irritating amount of sense then for Chris Donnelly and the other Elves to forcefully keep the blond from following them.

But in Craig’s mind, that didn’t mean he had to like it. “Fuck you,” he spat, clenching his hands into fists and staring at the ground. He wanted to wipe that smarmy smirk off of the boy’s face, but past hitting him again, Craig couldn’t think of how. And there was probably only so much he could do to the boy before the Elves around them decided to react. There had to be a line, and though Craig didn’t give a fuck, he prefered  _ not _ letting this come down to messy hand to hand combat.

As his mind wandered to Tweek, he could feel his heart clench. What the boy had said, about how casually other kids had hurt him before Craig showed up, it made the Noirette feel like shit. It wasn’t like he could have done anything, not when he hadn’t even paid attention to Tweek, but he wished that he could have.  _ He just puts everything out there,  _ Craig thought as an image of the blond’s wide green eyes entered his head.  _ It shouldn’t be legal to be that open. _

Now if only he could stop getting separated from him.  _ But this isn’t the first time, and it probably isn’t the last time either. _

“We wanted to talk,” Chris Donnelly pointed out, spreading his hands placatingly, pulling Craig from his thoughts. “If we’d let your little Barbarian go free, this wouldn’t have been so much talking as trying not to get our faces flattened by a frying pan. I happen to quite like my face, I’d rather it not get broken if it’s all the same to you.”

“Honestly, I don’t give a fuck about your face,” Craig said flatly. “You could have taken both of us if you just wanted to talk. That would have worked just fine.” But Chris was already shaking his head, his lips pulled down into a frown as if Craig had already assumed something to be true that wasn’t.

“The High Elf King wanted  _ you, _ Craig, not Tweek. Don’t ask me why.” Waving his hands like they were clean of any wrongdoing, Chris Donnelly said, “Look, I don’t care. I would have brought Tweek if I hadn’t been specifically told not to.” Craig wanted to stay annoyed, because all intentions and reasons aside Tweek had  _ still _ gotten knocked out, but as he looked at the face of the boy in front of him, he realized that staying angry with this particular person wasn’t worth the energy.  _ He didn’t give the orders, he just acted on them. _

Which was the whole problem with the damn game, wasn’t it?

“What the fuck do you people even want?” Craig finally asked, letting his face fall back into a disinterested deadpan. “I’m a Human, you’re an Elf, we’re about to have a war. So I’m assuming you have a pretty good reason for this.” Despite everything he could have said about Kyle, the boy wasn’t stupid like Cartman. He  _ always _ had a reason.

“Well, that’s not for me to say, now is it?” Leaning his head forward, smirking slightly, Chris touched the shoulder of the Elf beside him, prompting the boy to turn around. “I think that the prisoner is ready to speak to the High King.” Though there were any number of comments he wanted to make on the subject, Craig held his tongue and just stared back at the boy when he turned to look at him. Nodding quickly, the Elf spoke in hushed tones to those around him before the circle finally parted, allowing Craig to see the rest of the yard properly at last.

Though he’d been in the Elven kingdom several times during battles, it was different to see it like this and be able to take it all in. The entire place was far more organized than Cartman’s castle ever had been, they even had thrown a tarp over the shard of alien ship that had landed in the corner of the yard. But it wasn’t the scenery that caught Craig’s eyes, no, instead it was the lines of Elves that lined a path straight to the back of the yard. At their head, on his raised dias, sat Kyle, a scowl already set into his freckled face.

Though he couldn’t be sure, he had a feeling that he was looking at the full force of the Elven armies. Perhaps he should have been taking note of that, but considering the fact that he wasn’t even fighting for Cartman anymore, he didn’t really give a shit.

He’d been texting Clyde almost all day, having only stopped that for a moment to update his relationship status on Facebook and make up some bullshit excuse for Butters, who’d of course decided to comment on it. The brunet was pretty excited about something today, but other than that, he didn’t really have any plans for how he was supposed to create his army of darkness. That hadn’t stopped him from inventing some elaborate plan involving leaving a clue on his desk as to the fact that he had the Stick, but Craig hadn’t paid much attention to that fact. No, he had other ideas.

Namely, different methods by how he could get Clyde some help.  _ So the game will be over, right? So that Tweek and I can be free of this shit. _

“Hey Feldspar, this is supposed to be the part where you start walking,” Chris hissed helpfully. Remembering where he was, Craig gave himself a little shake and walked forward obediently, allowing Chris Donnelly to follow him, as if watching for any shady behavior. The Elves he passed glared at him, and he didn’t blame them, but he didn’t bother to react. They could think what they wanted about him, he wasn't a Human anymore. He wasn’t part of this game.

He was on Clyde’s side, because at least Clyde wanted it to be over. And he was on his own side, because Craig figured that supporting himself was the least that he could do.

There was someone drumming as Craig walked towards Kyle, and Stan, who stood beside him with his head held high. Uncharitably, Craig wished whoever it was would stop, because it made this whole thing seem far more dramatic than it needed to be.  _ Maybe I should be taking this more seriously? _ But then he remembered that Kyle was wearing a bathrobe and Halloween Elf ears and he stopped wondering.

Finally reaching the steps that lead up to the podium, Craig stopped, and as he did, the boys before him parted so that he could see Kyle. The boy’s crown was looking a little worse for wear, and his robe looked dirty, but the regal expression on his face hadn’t changed a bit. No, he was still the same boy who’d ordered Stan to fight Craig during the stupid festival. He was still the same king who’d challenged Cartman to a battle at Stark’s Pond.

He was the same boy as the one who’d pushed Tweek into fighting Craig.

And he was the same person who Craig wanted to stop almost as much as he wanted to stop Cartman.

Kyle cleared his throat. “So…” He let the word hang in the air, the finger that he’d been tapping the arm of his deck chair with hovering dramatically as he did so. “Craig. Feldspar. Thief of Kupa Keep and soldier of the Humans. I see that my Elves have managed to find you.”

Several sharp retorts came to his lips, but Craig settled with just flipping Kyle off. His actions earned him a snarl from the redhead, and a scowl from Stan, who said, “We haven’t killed you yet Tucker, you should be grateful and you start taking this seriously, if you want us to continue to be so peaceful.” Craig fought not to roll his eyes, but it was a trick. He’d never taken Stan Marsh seriously, not least of all when he was wearing a helmet that had a feather stuck in it. The boy’s false bravado didn’t work with him, and he wasn’t afraid to say it.

But he knew better than to piss these people off too much, so instead, Craig fixed the boy with a flat expression and said, “I’m impressed with your self control. I’m sure it’s killing you.” Stan’s frown deepened, and it took all Craig had not to flip him off again.

“You aren’t hot shit, Craig,” one of the Elves off to the side called. “You just think you are.”

“He’s got a point, Feldspar,” Chris said, clicking his tongue. “You kind of are at our mercy. I’d keep that in mind if I were you.” Craig  _ didn’t _ elbow the boy in the ribs, no one could prove that he did. The boy just  _ happened _ to grunt in pain as some of the air left him.

Ignoring his Elves, Kyle exchanged a look with Stan, who gave him a level gaze which seemed to take some of the anger out of the redhead. Shaking his head, looking back at Craig, the boy slid off of his throne and walked down the steps of his dias, causing the boys around them to give them both a little room. Forced to look down, just because the boy was several inches shorter than him, Craig raised an eyebrow at the pinched expression on the boy’s face.

Clearing his throat, Kyle said, “Craig, I brought you here for a reason, and it wasn’t a popular reason, but it’s still the reason I have.” Lifting himself up to his full height, the boy continued, “You and Tweek are fighting on the wrong side, dude. You should be on our side.” 

Instantly, Craig took a step back, his hackles rising. Whatever he’s been expecting Kyle to say, that hadn’t been it.  _ They fucking knocked Tweek out and dragged me here to tell me  _ this? _ What the fuck? _ Gritting his teeth, Craig flatly said, “We’re on the side we chose to be on. I don’t give a shit whether you think I should be on your side or not. In fact, I don’t like either of you, so it doesn’t really matter.”  _ I’m not on Cartman’s side, I’m on my own side. _

“Look, Craig-” Kyle stopped, looking frustrated. “You’re focusing on the wrong issue here. Liking me doesn’t have anything to do with it. Neither does you hating Cartman.” Crossing his arms, Craig furrowed his brows. He didn’t know what Kyle was getting at, but he didn’t really have the energy to care. Dealing with betraying one faction was plenty to think about already.

“Then what does it have to do with Broflovski, and why did it require you knocking Tweek out?” Craig asked belligerently, staring into Kyle’s emerald green eyes until he looked away. Though he didn’t say it, he didn’t need to tell the Elven King that he didn’t want to deal with his bullshit. _ I don’t have the time, I need to get to Tweek. _

“Tweek wouldn’t have listened,” Kyle said at once, waving it off as if knocking someone out was that unconcerning to him. “You, at least, do.” Clasping his hands behind his back, the boy continued, “As for what this is about, well let me tell you. Cartman told you guys that I broke the rules and took the Stick last night? Well he’s lying to you.”

As the boy walked around Craig and the Noirette turned with him, Craig almost wanted to snort. Because yeah, of  _ course _ Kyle hadn’t taken the Stick, Craig had.  _ Kenny probably knew it would cause this whole mess. Fucker knows everything. _ There was something almost amusing about how Kyle thought that the matter of who had the Stick mattered, but then the stoic boy thought about the fact that to everyone else, the Stick of Truth was still the most powerful thing around, and he sobered.

From the dias, Stan spoke up, pulling Craig’s eyes to him. “Cartman’s the one you should be fighting against. He’s hiding the Stick, which is cheating, and acting all upset and betrayed to get you to recruit more people for him.”  _ No, he’s not, but then you’re not cheating either. You’re doing all of this because you don’t know the truth. _ But Craig couldn’t make himself care, they deserved to tear each other apart. 

Which is why he lifted his chin and said, “Look, I don’t give a flying fuck who has the Stick of Truth. I want this game to be over.” Saying it felt good, especially when the Elves around him started murmuring, clearly uncertain and actually listening to him. “Cartman is an asshole, and you two are as well.”

“Then why are you recruiting people for him, huh?” Kyle spat, his eyes narrowing. “If you don’t care, why are you playing? Why not just leave?” When Craig didn’t answer, the boy took a step towards him and continued. “Go on, drop out.  _ Do it. _ And what about Tweek? Take Tweek with you!” Waving his hands as he talked, the boy continued, “We tracked the carrier ravens and we know that you’re going to recruit the goths, why would you even talk to them if you thought this game was bullshit?”

“Because assholes like Cartman need to be taught a lesson,” Craig growled right back, matching Kyle’s threatening step forward. He would have gone further, but Chris stuck his sword in front of the boy, stopping him.

When Craig glared at him, the boy shrugged and said, “Look, Feldspar, I agree with what you just said, but you have to be civil about this, we’ve been nothing but civil to you.”

“Fine.” Retreating, Craig stared at Kyle evenly and said, “This game is falling down around your fake pointy ears, and I am not about to stop it. Maybe you’re right, maybe Cartman is hiding the Stick. I honestly wouldn’t put it past him.” This seemed to be the right thing to say, because Kyle relaxed slightly. “But I’m sick of seeing Tweek get hurt over this game, and I’m sick of being pushed around. Call it revenge, but I’m bringing Cartman down with me.” He wasn’t sure what possessed him to speak so much, but after finishing, he snapped his mouth shut and fell silent, irritated that he’d run his mouth.

“If you want this to be over, then help us take that fatass down!” Kyle exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. “Help us get the Stick back, help us destroy the Human faction.” Knocking his crown askew in his fervor, the boy continued, “I’m saying you can bring Tweek, in fact, I want you to. Both of you hate Cartman, so join me. Recruit the Goths, but tell them to join our side. I want to win this.”

“And I don’t care who wins, as long as it ends,” Craig said, deadpan. Thinking of Clyde, thinking of the shit that had happened because of the stupid game, he continued, “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I want people to go back to being friends again.” Looking over at Jimmy, who was standing off to the side of the raised platform, the Noirette finished, “I’m tired of fighting my friends over a game.”

Both Stan and Kyle hardened their expressions, but the other Elves reacted to his words, all suddenly unable to look at anything as they got awkward. Chris Donnelly twitched an eyebrow up at that, but didn’t speak. Craig just stood there, silent, waiting.

Finally, Stan said, “If you don’t care, then why don’t you just help us instead of Cartman. We aren’t as bad as him dude.” Though Craig wanted to disagree, he had to admit, they weren’t. It wasn’t a big difference, but it was there. “Just recruit people for us. If you don’t want to switch sides because you don’t care enough, then fine. Just stop helping Cartman.”

“Trust me,” Craig said, his tone emotionless. “I’m not helping Cartman.”

“Well,” Kyle said, clapping his hands together once. “I’ve made my case to you. You’re not stupid Craig, I think you’re going to make the right decision.” Walking back up to his throne, the boy sat down and fixed Craig with an intense stare. “I’m going to send my best ranger with you, hopefully to help you, and if not, to perhaps help convince you. Past that, you may go.” The moment the boy waved his hand, the rest of the Elves dispersed, and Craig was left standing there, with only the thought of how pointless this fight was going to be left to accompany him.

Not really caring if he waited for whoever Kyle wanted to send with him, Craig turned around stiffly and walked away towards the gate. Chris Donnelly followed him, his expression more thoughtful than it usually was. Glancing over at him, Craig said, “What?” even though he didn’t particularly care.

“I want it to be over as well,” Chris admitted, his words soft, as though he didn’t want anyone else to hear. “Most of the rest of us do as well. I personally didn’t care if you wanted to help Kyle or not, but I do care about this.” Seriously, the boy said, “Some of my best friends are on the other side, I’m sick of fighting them.”

Despite the fact that it was potentially stupid, Craig turned around sharply and stopped so he could examine the Elven boy. His  _ classmate _ Craig mentally corrected. That didn’t usually mean much of anything, but at that moment, it was better than continuing to think of people in terms of us versus them.  _ He doesn’t want to fight, and I don’t either. We’re both sick of our leaders, and we want to bring this game down. I should use that, shouldn’t I? _

“Cartman doesn’t have the Stick,” Craig said abruptly, his words coming out stilted because he was judging every one of them carefully before letting them escape him. “Neither does Kyle. Someone else has the Stick, and they want to bring down this game by destroying both factions and defeating the Elves and the Humans.”

“Who?” Chris fired back, his eyebrows hiking up.

“Clyde.” Craig snorted. “He’s an idiot, but I’m siding with him. You can too, if you want. I’m not sure how, but I’m going to get as many people as don’t want to play the game anymore together, and I’m going to take them to Clyde so that we can form a new faction and destroy the old ones. Then it’ll all be over.”

“Well, Clyde is definitely a fucking idiot,” Chris Donnelly agreed, laughing. “But I think it would be hilarious if Cartman and Kyle fought over something like this, and I think I’d like to join you and Clyde. I know a lot of Elves will want to join as well.” Standing up straight, the boy said, “We want a way out just as much as you do. If we can help you, then we will.”

“Okay.” Because Craig didn’t care that they were Elves, and he knew that Clyde wouldn’t care either.  _ This is what it takes to be a good friend. _ It might have taken him a few months to see it, but now that he knew, he wasn’t about to fuck it up.

Noticing Stan stepping down off of the dias and walking towards them, Craig asked, “Do you know if Tweek’s awake yet or not?” He hoped that he could make it back to the boy before he regained consciousness, but if he didn’t, then he needed to know because it would change where he’d head first.

Checking his phone, Chris said, “Well, he’s not awake yet. Though I bet he will be soon.” As Stan drew level with him, the curly haired boy said, “I hope everything goes well.”

“The sooner we get this over with, the better,” Stan agreed, his face turned down in a slight frown. “Kyle thinks I should go with you, so I will, but I don’t like it any more than you do.” Well, that much was probably true. Craig didn’t bother spending the energy required to glare at the boy, he just flipped Stan off and started towards the exit once more, face a flat deadpan.

As he was leaving however, Chris Donnelly called out after him, “So what happened with Bebe?” When Craig stopped, the boy continued, “I saw that you two broke up. Why?”

Twisting his head so he could raise an eyebrow at Chris, Craig said, “Because she wanted to date Clyde, and I didn’t want to date her. Why else?” Then he turned back towards the gate and left, because he had more important things to do.

He had a game to bring down.

And he had Tweek waiting for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that half the lines aren't canon, but I like Chris Donnelly, and honestly, the canon is boring me.
> 
> Which reminds me, I'm warning you that the ending of this arc will not be according to canon and I'm changing a whole lot of things simply because I don't like them. I'll be attempting to keep it as fucked up as would befit South Park, but will Tweek climb inside of a gay man's asshole? Eh, no.
> 
> Butters will!
> 
> Hopefully I'll be able to get another chapter out by tomorrow~ Thank you for reading!


	90. Remember Nice and Boring?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Jazz hands*  
> *The jazziest, in fact*
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESA!!!! Even though you're the youngest Santobard, we love you, and we think you're really cool. I hope your birthday has been the bestest, and that you can continue to punch the crushing reality of the world in the face for many years to come. You're _awesome_ ~
> 
> As for this chapter, well, one moment you think you're going to have a bunch of kids fighting Nazi Zombies, and the next, you're re-watching the Peru episodes and mumbling under your breath about how long coffee can stay warm. Such is life.
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek returned to the land of the living in much the same way he spent most of his time there.

Screaming.

For a moment, he was entirely convinced he was still watching Chris and the other Elves drag Craig away. All he could see were smirking faces and weapons pointed at Craig. Sharp, deadly affairs that would kill the boy if he moved wrong. That and the horrible, oppressive empty, sucking, darkness that was losing consciousness. His answer for it was to scream as loud as he could, attempting to shove everything else out of his mind with that sound. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t see, all he could do was yell out a mangled version of Craig’s name.

Predictably, his throat gave out, reducing him to little more than pathetic, hacking coughs. As he sucked air into his lungs, he caught the overpowering scent of coffee beans and his mind jarred as it hit the spot where he’d put a wall and found that there was nothing there. _Wait, coffee?? This isn’t the pavement, this is the back room of the shop!!_ Armed with this revelation, Tweek’s eyes flew open as he took in where exactly he was and what exactly was going on.

The first thing he saw was the looming, worried face of none other than the Noirette himself. Of course it wasn’t immediately obvious that Craig was worried, he didn’t have a lot of tells, but Tweek knew them. It was the way his eyebrows pinched slightly, his eyes intensified, and his lips pursed together _just so._ These little things, more than anything, were what calmed Tweek down, allowing him to calm his breathing down to normal and stop shaking so hard.

Despite having been roughly dragged away last Tweek knew, the boy looked to be entirely alright. He was crouched over Tweek, who, the blond boy was slowly realizing, had been laid out over one of the large sacks of coffee beans rather haphazardly. As more awareness returned to him, the still coughing boy let his head fall back as he twitched and drew the calm he needed from Craig’s soft, worried gaze. What was going on didn’t much matter, for now, Tweek breathed and counted the faint scars on the Noirette’s face until he forgot what number he was on.

For a moment, Craig reached over Tweek’s head and the boy was confused as to what was going on, before the boy’s hand landed in his hair and the blond simply shivered and closed his eyes. _It’s almost like a ritual, isn’t it? Jesus, that sounds horrible!! But I guess I don’t mind it, because it’s Craig, and he calms me down._ Though the memories seemed a little fuzzy from right before he’d gotten clobbered over the head by an Elf, the conversation he’d had with Craig slipping his mind, Tweek felt better, like now that Craig was here, everything was alright.

_It is, it always is._

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Craig hummed, his tone stoic and absolutely controlled, all but for the clear relief in his eyes that Tweek knew well enough to pinpoint. _Wow, I guess he isn’t as hard to read as I’ve been thinking,_ Tweek thought distantly as he twitched and gazed into Craig’s eyes. _Maybe things just got screwed up because we weren’t being honest with each other. Oh god, I hate it when I don’t know things, I hate it when people aren’t honest!!! Why did I act like that?? Jesus never again!_

“Y-yeah,” he pushed out instead, silencing the overactive thoughts bubbling in the back of his head. “Jesus man, w-what happened?? Where did they take you!? What did they want??” Sitting up slightly, causing Craig to shift backwards so they wouldn’t collide, Tweek jerked violently and let out a soft scream when he noticed the unconscious Elf lying over a sack of coffee across from him. “OH GOD WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?” the boy shrieked.

Turning slightly so he could raise his eyebrows at the unconscious Elf, Craig muttered, “Nothing that the fucker didn’t deserve.” Before Tweek could freak out, or even begin to, the Noirette picked something up and shoved a warm object into the boy’s hands. “Here,” he said shortly, calm as ever.

Taking it, his brain registering the thing as a coffee mug before Tweek had processed what was going on, the blond instinctively lifted it to his lips and drained half the mug. Instantly a jolt ran through him and he shivered, recognizing his parent’s blend at once. More than that though, Tweek found himself smiling because even though Craig’s coffee making skills had improved, he was still god-awful at it.

“Ngh- S-so are you going to tell me what happened??” Tweek pestered Craig, reaching out a hand and tugging at the edge of the boy’s cape. “Th-they just dragged you off and then they -ghn- knocked me out before I c-could do anything!! Jesus, it was so terrifying! What did they want with you man??” Drawing Craig’s attention back to him, Tweek stared into the boy’s impossibly blue eyes and almost dumped coffee over both of them when a different voice spoke from the corner.

“We wanted to talk to him about stuff that the Elf King wanted to keep between the Elves and him.” Flinging his head around, Tweek found Stan Marsh of all people leaning against the wall, his face set into one of those horribly unreadable frowns that Tweek knew the boy for. “We gave him back in one piece.”

“Yeah,” Craig agreed, his flat tone bordering on sarcasm. “Right after you and your leader proved themselves to be complete dicks.” Regardless of the situation, Tweek found himself fighting laughter at the way Stan’s feathers visibly ruffled at Craig’s comment. It was amazing how easily people got under Stan’s skin, Tweek reflected as the boy’s features darkened into a scowl.

“Tucker,” he said warningly, as if he was at all threatening.

“Marsh,” Craig returned, flipping him off.

Loosing his battle to his own reactions, Tweek giggled even as he twitched hard and gripped Craig’s cloak a little harder. “Rrr- Oh god, I’m just glad you’re alive!” Tweek exclaimed, quickly finishing his coffee, even though it tasted like something you might find in an instant packet at a rest stop. “I th-thought they were gonna _kill_ you or something!!” At the thought Kyle and the others killing Craig right after he and Tweek had finally made progress in fixing things, Tweek shivered violently. “Jesus, I couldn’t handle that!!”

“Yeah, well, the Elves are wimps,” Craig said, yet again provoking a huff from Stan. “They wanted us to join them?”

 _Join them?? But we already have a side!! And I don’t even want to play anymore? Did Craig say yes? Is that why Stan’s here?? Oh god, what do I do if he joins Kyle!? WILL I JOIN TOO?!?! IT’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!_ “ACK! I DON’T WANT TO JOIN THE ELVES!!” Tweek screeched, yanking on his hair, dropping his empty coffee mug.

Quickly reaching out, Craig caught the mug and said, “Yeah, that’s what I said.” Looking at the boy, Tweek kept pulling on his hair until the Noirette blew out a breath and stretched out his fingers, ruffling the boy’s mane until he let go of it. “Cartman might be a professional idiot, but he’s the one we chose, and I don’t give enough of a fuck to change sides.” He said this pointedly, like he was trying to say something to Stan.

Clearing his throat, the Ranger spread his hands and said, “Look, Craig, don’t look at me. Kyle just told me to go with you. Don’t shoot the messenger asshat, I don’t want to be here anymore than you do.” Twitching, Tweek looked back and forth between the two of them, trying to figure out what was going on, but to no avail. _I wish they’d just have brought me! Why do they always have to take Craig and not me?? Why does he always go places without me?? I just want him to be safe!_

As the blond let out an involuntary sound, Craig’s eyes flickered back to him, and the boy softened slightly. “It’s not like something interesting is going to happen from here to the Goths, Marsh, but knock yourself out.”

Allowing Craig to help him to his feet, Tweek spent a moment checking to make sure he had all of his various weapons before looking up at the Noirette and growling softly. “Ngh- Th-the Elves are the only ones who’ve been hurting us w-whydoweneedthem???” Twisting his head fast enough that his neck cracked alarmingly, Tweek stared at the boy and refused to be cowed by his frightening expression. “Y-You guys are the ones that knocked us out!!”

“It doesn’t matter,” Craig muttered, straightening Tweek’s Mongorian bow as he talked. “He’ll be leaving the moment we deliver the Goths their coffee.” He said it like it was something they’d already discussed, but Tweek knew Craig, and he had a feeling this was the first Stan had heard of it. Despite this, the Elven boy dipped his head and snorted, as if unwilling to argue with him.

“Yeah, as soon as we -rrr- deliver them the _ir COFFEE OH JESUS WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET THEM COFFEE!!!!”_ Suddenly jerking away from Craig, Tweek scrambled about the room as he dug up the specific coffee grounds that the Goth kids always ordered whenever they actually chose to go to Tweek Bro’s. “Oh god, what if they hate us cause w-we took so long!!” Tweek yelped, his brain scrambling at one-hundred miles per minute. “I m-mean, who gets _kidnaped_ on their way to getting c-coffee??”

“It’ll be fine,” Craig said, watching Tweek with his usual stoic _chill_ that the blond would probably never have in his life. “It hasn’t even been an hour, they’ll live.” Looking up at the boy as he juggled three large disposable cups and one small one, Tweek let out a stressed sound and shook his head. _This is so insane. I can’t wait till things go back to normal!! I miss normal, with no monsters and no factions and no aliens and definitely no kidnapping._

“Is this the kind of menial stuff you’re usually doing for the Grand Wizard?” Stan asked, for once not sounding adversarial. Shaking his head like he couldn’t quite believe it, he muttered, “No wonder why you want the game to end, dude. I wouldn’t want to run his errands either.”

Snorting, watching Tweek as he continued to attempt to get the Goths’ coffee, Craig agreed, “Yeah, it’s bullshit. He’s a lazy ass, and now he’s trying to get involved in the game, which is stupid.” Walking over to where Tweek was struggling with two full cups of coffee, Craig helpfully grabbed them out of the trembling blond’s hands and continued, “I promise you, he’s going to bring the whole game down on his own.”

“Might as well just sit on it,” Stan suggested, chuckling, a slight grin on his face. “He’s such a fatass, he’ll just crush it.”

“If you can get him _off_ of his ass long enough to move him,” Craig countered, an eyebrow lifting.

Stan laughed. “Kyle’s right, you _are_ on the wrong side.” The moment he said it, Tweek could feel the good mood in the room vanish. _Why do people have to hate each other?? It’s way too much to handle!_ Letting out a scream through his teeth, the blond shook his head violently and yanked on his hair with the hand that wasn’t occupied.

“Jesus, if it w-weren’t for Clyde, we wouldn’t have joined Cartman’s side at all!!” Tweek yelped, hands shaking as he finished filling the other cup of coffee and put it on a tray before grabbing the cups from Craig’s hands. “I don’t even _care_ about Cartman’s side!! I m-mean, there are lots of people there now that are okay, b-but Clyde’s the reason we joined!”

At those words, Stan’s eyes widened and he started to speak before Craig cut him off with, “Well, I’m pretty sure Clyde’s getting tired of this game too, so it’s not going to matter for much longer.” Staring at Stan with an expression that Tweek couldn’t say, the boy continued, “But you’re right Tweek, not all the Humans are shit. Some of them aren’t that bad.”

Giving Craig a quizzical look, as if he were just as clueless as Tweek as to what was going on, Stan slowly said, “Yeah, and most of the Elves are okay too. I’ve gotten to know most of them, Kyle usually puts either me or Chris Donnelly in charge of big battles. They’re alright, though I don’t really get to talk to most of them. I spend most of my time helping Kyle.”

Though he didn’t say it out loud, Tweek privately shivered and thought that, in his mind, the only way to get to know someone was to actually talk to them. He doubted that Kenny or Cartman knew a thing about the other humans. Even Token probably only knew enough to use the kids strategically. Clyde, Craig and he, they _knew_ the other humans. In spite of his anxiety when it came to dealing with new people, Tweek paid attention to the other boys, and he remembered each of them clearly.

You couldn’t do that if you were tied to a leader.

But he didn’t say any of that, Tweek just twitched and squeaked, “Rrr- I just want things to be over s-so that everyone can go back to normal!! This whole th-thing makes stuff _really_ confusing.” Fitting lids on the different coffee cups with little, quick snaps, the boy continued, “I mean, r-remember when people could just be friends??”

“Yeah, you have a point,” Stan huffed out, apparently discarding whatever he’d been confused about. As Tweek picked up the tray and looked up at Craig expectantly, the Elven boy continued, “As much as I get sick of Cartman, he’s my friend, and Kenny’s actually pretty chill, when he isn’t pretending to be a chick.”

“McCormick is full of shit,” Craig said confidently, ruffling Tweek’s hair lightly before walking towards the door, prompting the coffee laden blond to follow along behind him. “But Clyde can be a bitch, and Token can be weird, and they’re still my friends, so yeah, I get it.” After running Craig’s words through his head a few times, Tweek let out a soft, involuntary noise, which made the Noirette look down at him.

“What about m-me!?” Tweek asked, and if he’d had a hand free, he would have yanked at his hair in an attempt to pull some of the stress out of his head. _Oh jesus, Christ! Why did I ask that?? I didn’t need to do that! He was just using examples, why did I say anything??_ As his trembling got worse, the coffee he was holding shook alarmingly, coming close to tipping over and falling entirely.

Then Craig’s hands were there, taking the coffee out of Tweek’s hands as he bumped up against the blond calmingly. “You’re Tweek,” Craig said, as if that explained everything. “You’re different.”

Stan only looked between them for a second before rolling his eyes and pushing open the back door of Tweek Bro’s. “You two are weird, let’s get going.” Ignoring Tweek’s cry of protest and Craig’s middle finger, the boy stepped outside, and once Craig followed him, Tweek did as well.

As the three of them walked towards the school, Tweek trailing behind Stan and Craig walking a pace behind him, just like in the old days when they’d been the fearsome monster duo, Tweek found that okay, Stan wasn’t _that_ bad, he was actually pretty alright. It was interesting, now that he had Craig with him, this silent, stoic deterrent against all things casually cruel, Tweek found that a lot of people were nice. Maybe they weren’t people he wanted to be friends with, but they weren’t _horrible._ And even when Craig wasn’t around, they weren’t as bad to him as they once were.

Perhaps that made him naive, being willing to give them a chance, but then, he spent most of his time being painfully suspicious of everyone, and he didn’t like it. He prefered not having to worry about everyone planning on killing him, especially when there were legitimate fears and concerns to be worrying about. Besides, it was nice, just listening to Craig and Stan banter above him, entirely at ease with each other despite their opposing sides.

It was funny, though Tweek knew that Craig often got annoyed at Stan, they were at least a little alike. At a quick glance, they even looked similar, but he saw something else in them. Neither of them much cared for the system, and both of them tended to see the bad in a situation and mock it. Tweek wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, but he also saw the fact that they were both protective of their friends, and that seemed like a better thing.

_Stan cares about Kyle, and Craig cares about me._

“But remember that time that we got you to use your birthday money to help us start a Peruvian flute band?” Stan was crowing, a grin stretching his lips. “Dude, we were such assholes, but that was pretty fun.” Craig rolled his eyes and huffed, but Tweek saw a small note of amusement in the boy’s eyes. His own memories of the event were hazy, he hadn’t really been involved, but then, no one wanted to involve him in much so that made sense.

“I can’t _forget_ it,” Craig muttered, his flat voice containing almost rueful laughter. “Everyone thought it was _my_ fault that _you_ assholes got into trouble. We ended up in fucking Peru.”

“You’re extremely negative Craig,” Stan said, smirking as if it was a private joke.

“Well, no one wants to hang out with you guys because you always end up doing stupid shit that results in national issues,” Craig pointed out, an equally mocking. “You guys are suck _dicks.”_

“W-what happened though??” Tweek asked, shivering and twitching. “Jesus man, I -ghn- didn’t realize you went to Peru!!” Glancing over at him, Craig raised his eyebrows, and his lips twitched upward into a slight smile that made Tweek slap a hand over his mouth to stifle a giggle. Through his fingers, he continued, “I mean, th-there were those Guinea Pigs everywhere, b-but no one ever told me what happened!!”

“I thought everyone knew!” Stan exclaimed, looking over at Tweek in surprise. “Yeah, Tucker’s, like the Lord of the Guinea Pigs or something. It turns out they sent us down to Peru to get rid of us.” Tweek’s eyes widened at that, and he caught Craig flipping Stan off.

“You mean they sent _me_ to Peru to get rid of _me._ You assholes were just being idiots the entire fucking time,” Craig commented mildly.

“To be fair dude, you spent most of it just making stupid comments,” Stan prodded back, rolling his eyes. “We were walking through the jungle and an ancient temple with you for a long time, and all you did was make stupid comments about how you liked when things were nice and boring.”

“But what _happened??”_ Tweek insisted, tugging at Craig’s cloak. “I w-was stuck in the back of the c-coffee shop the whole time!! My parents had be back there mixing a new blend! Grrr- B-but when I got out, everything was a mess!!” Which, to be fair, was pretty normal of South Park.

“It turns out Craig’s actually Peruvian,” Stan commented, as if that was an explanation. “And there were a lot of ancient Incan prophecies about him stopping the giant guinea-animals. You would have had to be there to understand it.”

“I was going to save the world apparently,” Craig said, as if it didn’t matter that much. “There were sparks shooting out of my eyes. I shot a guinea pig pirate. It was a little weird.” Scratching his head, he admitted, “Actually, I have no idea what happened.” Looking over at Stan, he asked, “Why do I ever listen to you dicks again?”

Stan shrugged. “I dunno dude, it never seems to turn out well.”

After a moment spent humming, Craig looked at the coffee he was still holding before saying, “Well, I guess all of you survive, so you’re doing something right.” Tweek yanked at his hair and twitched violently, because actually no not everyone survived, Kenny seemed to die a lot, but the boy wasn’t _actually_ dead, so he was probably just imagining it as usual.

Rolling his eyes, Stan whistled and muttered, “Honestly, I feel like this game is turning into something insane. I mean, first there’s the new Taco Bell opening, then there’s the weird metal that’s showing up everywhere, and don’t even get me _started_ on the Nazi Zombies.”

“NAZI ZOMBIES!?!” Tweek shrieked, almost falling over in his alarm. “JESUS WHAT??!”

“Yeah, they’ve been everywhere! Haven’t you seen them?” Stan asked, his eyes widening with surprise.

“You know, I actively try to avoid things like zombies, nazis and anything in between,” Craig commented. “Which is why I can’t wait till this game is over. I want things to go back to normal.”

“Well, considering Clyde got thrown out, I guess that makes sense,” Stan admitted, laughing.

Tweek’s brain just sort of stopped.

_Wait, what?_

Craig’s head snapped around and he glared at Stan, who looked at him like he wasn’t sure what was wrong. “Dude, I know, it sucks, but Cartman has the power to banish people from space and time so-”

“CLYDE GOT THROWN OUT?!?!” Tweek’s shriek cut through Stan’s words, startling the boy. As his brain started to churn, making him feel sick, Tweek shook harder and looked between the boys, his eyes wide and terrified. “OH GOD -NGH- W-WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?!?!” Clyde, one of the people who had stuck by Tweek through everything, had gotten thrown out, and he hadn’t even noticed?? That was way too much pressure!!!

“Tweek,” Craig started, furrowing his brows at the boy and looking at him over his tray of coffee. “It’s not-”

 _Why isn’t he upset??? WHY ISN’T HE FREAKING OUT?!? DID HE KNOW!? DID HE KNOWN AND NOT TELL ME?!_ Shivering harder, Tweek shrieked, “H-HE’S YOUR FRIEND! W-WHY AREN’T YOU UPSET?!?!”

“Tweek, dude, it’s not-” Stan attempted, but Tweek took a step back and shook his head like a dog, trying to get rid of the screaming in his head. _Clyde never did anything wrong!! He’s too good to do anything bad! He’s way better than me! Why did he get thrown out?? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!?!_

“JESUS HE D-DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!” Tweek yelled, tangling his fingers in his hair and pulling hard enough that he could feel the hair parting with his scalp. “AUGH WHY DO Y-YOU PEOPLE DO THINGS LIKE THIS?!? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST B-BE NICE TO PEOPLE FOR ONCE??”

“Dude, it was _Cartman,”_ Stan said, like _that_ made any difference. They were all friends, weren’t they?? They all did stuff like this! Tweek had spent his whole life getting bullied by Cartman, and Stan and Kyle always stood by and did nothing! This was no different, no, this was _worse_ because at least Tweek was fucked up and stupid, but Clyde was nice and he didn’t deserve something like that!!

“Y-YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IT TOO!!!” Tweek shrieked, shutting his eyes tight and quaking where he stood. “NGH- GOD YOU’RE ALL JUST ASSHOLES, HE D-DIDN’T DESERVE THAT! HE L-LIKED THE GAME! HE-”

Warm, firm arms wrapped around Tweek abruptly, muffling his screams. Without abandon, Tweek kept yelling into the muffling force until a hand landed in his hair, slowly patting him, ruffling his wild blond mane until the anger drained out of him. Shivering, Tweek could do nothing but listen as Craig said, “I know, he’s gone. It fucking sucks, but that’s why the games going to end soon Tweek. It’s going to be over, and then Clyde and everyone else can calm down.”

Leaning into Craig, Tweek shook and whimpered, “Jesus man, I -ghn- just wanted t-to have fun with my friends. Wh-why is any of this h-happening? I d-don’t want to play anymore!!” At the thought of Clyde, alone and upset because he’d been thrown out, Tweek wanted to start screaming again. Unbidden, an image of him standing at the top of his castle staring out at the rest of the kids playing popped into Tweek’s head, and he shivered. “I want to go home,” he said softly, his words spoken at little more than a whimper. “I want this to be over.”

“Then go home,” Craig said softly, his words startling Tweek, who looked up at him with wide eyes and a trembling lower lip. “Don’t play anymore.”

“Yeah, you can do that dude,” Stan said, sounding almost miffed, as if the idea that they _couldn’t_ leave the game was confusing to him. “I mean, yeah, there’s going to be a battle tonight, but you don’t have to go. You don’t have to fight. You only have to do what you want to.”

Humming low in his throat, Craig tightened his arms around Tweek and said, “Actually, if you wanted, you could hang out with Bebe again tonight instead of fighting. I promise, no one’s going to kidnap you again.”

The words _but I want to stay with you_ hovered at the tip of his tongue, but when he searched Craig’s eyes, Tweek realized there was resolve hidden in those eyes, and he shivered. _Craig’s going to fight tonight, isn’t he. No matter what I say._ “You’re not -ghn- going to stay home,” Tweek pointed out nervously, shivering.

Stepping back from Tweek, stooping to pick up the coffee tray he’d left on the ground, Craig’s lips turned down slightly before he answered, “No, I’m not going to.” No explanation, no matter how much Tweek wanted one, no emotion either. Just calm, flat, certainty. Tugging his chullo down over his forehead, Craig said, “Someone has to keep playing, someone has to end this damn thing. Otherwise, Clyde’s going to stay banished, and no one is going to talk to him.”

Looking between them, clearly lost, Stan ventured, “I mean, you can do what you want Tweek? If you want to fight, no one’s stopping you.” Twitching, hands itching to climb back into his hair, Tweek finally swallowed his own internal turmoil and thought about it. Part of him wanted to, wanted to help Craig avenge Clyde, but the rest of him felt sick, and he realized what the answer was.

Shaking his head, fiddling with his hands, Tweek mumbled, “No, I’m just -rrr- going t-to go home.” Clenching his lip between his teeth, the boy added, “Jesus Craig I- I think you should just go home too!! It’s -ngh- not worth it!”

“For me, it is,” Craig said softly. Tweek wanted to argue, but by the set of the boy’s features, he wasn’t going to convince him. _Besides, if I wasn’t so tired of this, I would want to go too._ Turning to Stan, Craig lifted his middle finger and said, “Look Marsh, you can keep walking with us, but I’m not going to change my mind about joining you guys, and I can handle myself.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Still examining them like they were somehow strange to him, Stan shook his head and said, “Well, at least I can tell Kyle I tried.” Sucking in his cheeks, the boy waved a hand and muttered, “Later dudes,” before ambling down the street away from them, his hand shoved into the pockets of his pants.

Looking up at Craig, Tweek asked, “Is Clyde okay??”

“No,” Craig admitted, putting his head down. “Except neither are we.” Shaking his head, the Noirette continued, “But it’s all going to be over after tomorrow. I promise you.” As if that were that, the boy balanced his tray in one hand and reached the other one for Tweek. Even though he wanted to ask, even though he had a million questions rocketing around in his head just moments away from bursting out of his mouth, Tweek clenched his jaw and shakily reached for Craig’s hand. A rock, even when everything else was uncertain and scary.

“Ngh- I know,” he mumbled, his eyes fixed on the sidewalk.

Craig’s hand closed over his. “Good. Now,” he looked ahead, his voice as calm as ever. “Let's get this coffee to those Nihilistic assholes and then I’ll walk to you Bebe’s.” And Tweek didn’t argue, because in the end, that sounded a whole lot better than putting up with any of the rest of this bullshit any longer.

 _Fuck Cartman,_ Tweek thought, stumbling along after Craig.

Thinking of the rest of the people who were part of the whole mess, Tweek mentally added, _and fuck Kyle too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is why we can't have nice things.
> 
>  
> 
> _Take that inconvenient plot holes, I will beat you yet!!_


	91. I Want To Be Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW IT'S LATE BUT JUZZAI, HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY YOU BEAUTIFUL SOUL. Thank you for blessing us with your humor, your kindness, and your gorgeous pastries? Like, heccc dude, you make me so hungry XD XD
> 
> Never stop.
> 
> To the rest of you, well, to Ty back at the shitshow, more Chris, cause I know you enjoy him~
> 
> Enjoy.

_“Inside_ the desk?” Ryan asked Craig, his tone skeptical.

“Ye _p,”_ Craig confirmed, popping the ‘p’.

“Do you think Cartman’s going to realize that our desks don’t _have_ insides?” Daniel asked, leaning on his Jew staff as he stared up at the school, which looked mildly opposing against the mountainous background.

“No _pe,”_ Craig answered flatly, noting the quivering green shadows that kept moving in the windows and rolling his eyes.

“Where’s Tweek?” asked Jesse, nervously bouncing about behind Terry, who had a suspicious expression on his face as he too watched the Elves.

Craig was silent for a moment, and his breathing hitched as he thought of the worried blond and those fucking green eyes that always seemed just a little bit too open. _You’ll be fine with Bebe, she’s not going to bite, you know that,_ Craig had said as he’d shepherded the boy towards the girl’s house, one of the Noirette’s hoodies keeping him warm and his thermos clutched between his small hands. _It’s okay, I’ll be back, it’s just a dumb battle, you won’t miss anything._

 _B-but what about Clyde!_ Tweek had squeaked, his lower lip trembling. Craig had known that the boy was close to tears, but there hadn’t been much he could do about it. He had a job to do for Clyde, and he didn’t want to involve Tweek any more than he had to, not with how vicious the other boys could be. _And w-what if you get hurt??_

 _I won’t,_ is what Craig had said, even though he couldn’t be sure, and even though it wasn’t particularly helpful. _I’ll be back._

“He’s with Bebe,” Craig said at last, his flat voice as calm as ever. When the other boys gave him looks, Craig huffed and said, “Just because you break up with a girl doesn’t mean you have to hate her. She’s not horrible, she’s pretty alright.” Daniel raised a finger.

“Does he know what’s going on?” Damn people for being perceptive. Clenching his jaw, Craig turned away and was tempted to ignore the question, then he caught William’s cool gaze, and he realized that he wasn’t going to be able to get away with this one.

“No, he doesn’t,” Craig answered shortly. There were several sounds of disquiet from the boys around him, and Craig didn’t blame them. These boys were the ones that had stuck with both him and Tweek for months now, they were just as loyal to the blond spaz as they were to Craig, which was a good thing, and yet it was also an inconvenience. “Look, he’s safe, so fuck off.”

“What’re y’all talkin’ about?” Turning, Craig found the happy and slightly breathless Butters coming upon Craig and the large contingent of soldiers with him. Behind him was a predictably arguing Cartman, Kenny, and Token, as well as the rest of the Human faction, who had all turned out for this fight. Craig didn’t react to the question, he just shrugged his shoulders slightly as if displacing the question.

“We were discussing strategy,” he said easily, the word catching Token’s attention, who looked up from his argument to give Craig one of those unreadably suspicious looks that very accurately said that the black boy thought he was full of bullshit. Of course, Craig was. In reality, he’d been telling some of the humans he trusted most about the plan that he’d been slowly hatching. It wasn’t necessarily the neatest affair, but it didn’t have to be, it just had to work.

If all when to plan, Craig and Chris Donnelly were going to defect together, and with them, they were going to bring as many Elves and Humans as possible. All of them would join Clyde’s side, and then they’d take down their old factions under one, uniting banner. It wasn’t perfect, heck, it was actually kind of idealistic, but it _should_ work, and that’s all that Craig cared about. _As long as I can get people for Clyde’s side, then I’ll have succeeded._ Thinking of Tweek, who had no idea he was defecting or that Clyde had a side at all or _anything,_ Craig’s stomach turned, but he consoled himself with the knowledge that at least this way, Tweek wouldn’t be harmed.

If the Humans or the Elves won, then Tweek would be safe. If Clyde won, then together Clyde and Craig could protect Tweek. It made a surprising amount of sense, and Craig liked it when things shuffled out neatly like they were doing at that moment.

But, as Cartman huffed and puffed his way through Craig’s group and to the front of the crowd of boys so he could look up at the school, the Noirette had a feeling that things weren’t going to _stay_ uncomplicated. Everything felt too dramatic, too staged, and Craig was struck with the sudden wish that he could have just stayed with Tweek at Bebe’s house, or better yet, stayed with him at the blond’s. Maybe Red Racer would still be on. They could just sit on the couch and comfortably do nothing together, without the rest of this bullshit.

“DEFENDERS OF FREEDOM!!” _Yeah, that’s not going to happen, is it?_ Shaking himself, pretending that he didn’t feel strangely unguarded without Tweek beside him, Craig straightened and looked to Cartman, who was standing before the crowd with his hands raised. “Thank you for you _courage,_ and your _audacities_ in joining our fight!!” From the corner of his eye, Craig caught the way Token rolled his eyes.

As the boy continued to give his speech, Craig tuned him out, already bored. Around him, the other Humans were grim faced, bitter and tired. In that way, he supposed, the Goths in their viking getup with their cigarette stained fingers fit right in. _Jesus, this game has lasted for way too long, it should have ended ages ago. How did we let it get this out of hand?_

Very easily, actually. It had consumed their lives, as most drama in South Park tended to do, and Craig felt like he was coming out of a dream even now as more layers of the infernal insanity became clear. _I’m never letting this happen again, I hate it when those assholes do anything, if I play, I’m helping them._ All in all, fourth grade was giving him a headache.

“TONIGHT WE UNITE AS ONE!” Cartman yelled, pulling Craig’s attention back to him for a moment.

“I feel like _such_ a homosapien right now,” Michael commented, leaning on his cane-turned-battle ax.

“That’s because you are,” Russell pointed out, looking at the Goth suspiciously.

“It was a- Ugh, _whatever,_ you conformists wouldn’t get it anyway,” the Goth groaned in disgust. From where he stood near the front, Craig could hear Butters snickering.

“THE HUMANS ARE HERE!!!” As one, most of the army looked up to find an Elf peeking his head out of the window above them. Craig couldn’t recognize the boy for sure, but he was pretty sure he’d seen the kid during the infamous forest battle he and Tweek had fought together. From another window, a second Elf stuck his head out and blew a paper mache horn that squeaked weakly.

“Oooh, they blew their horn,” Cartman muttered in malicious irritation. “Blow ours, Butters!” Stumbling forward, the bleach-blond boy pulled out the horn that they had only really started using since Cartman had gotten into the game and gave it a blow, which resulted in an off-key screech that made several other boys cringe.

Slamming his staff against the ground, Cartman yelled, “EVERYONE TO YOUR POSITIONS! WE WILL TAKE THE STICK BACK FROM THE WICKED DROW ELVES ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!”

As the kids streamed forward and broke around the building, Craig locked eyes with Token, nodded once, and broke away, heading for the other side of the school. Putting a hand on a knife, even though he hoped he wouldn’t be using it much, Craig followed the other Humans towards the alley of the school, where they were trying at entrances, trying to find a way in. Naturally, the Elves had done what any sensible army would do and had barricaded themselves inside, but to Craig, that sounded like child’s play. _Tweek’s house is harder to get into._

“Hey Fucker, having fun yet?” Hardly reacting at all, Craig turned his head and resisted the urge to pull his knife on Kenny, who to be honest probably deserved getting hurt a lot more than most of the Elves they’d be facing. Flipping the boy off, Craig earned himself a laugh from the Princess, who kept looking at the dark clouds as if expecting something to happen. “Ah, well, I’m sure it’s just not the same without your little Barbarian around.”

“Lady McCormick I swear-” Craig started, only for Kenny to put a finger to his lips and raise an eyebrow.

“No no Craig, I agree with you, I don’t think Tweekers should be fighting anymore either, but leaving him behind? Well-” He shrugged. “Whatever, as they say, floats your boat.” Pulling his hand away from Craig, the Princess looked to the school and pointed at the faculty entrance. “As long as you do your part in helping me bring down this game, I don’t give a _shit_ what you do.”

Jerking away from the boy, Craig’s gaze darkened, but he didn’t bother to answer Kenny. Spinning, Craig looked at the other boys around him and called, “Alright, you heard the Princess, we’ve got a way in. Let’s fuck ‘em up.” As the boys rallied around him, Craig pushed into the mess hall and coughed as a cloud of foul smelling smoke met him. _What did they do in here?_ It smelled like… Well, he would have said it smelled like the alien ship, but he was _hoping_ that it was just his imagination.

Sweeping the area through squinted eyes, Craig caught sight of Henrietta and Firkle who were standing in the corner of the cafeteria’s kitchen, looking generally disgusted with their surroundings. Henrietta was attempting to pick bits of cornmeal out of her hair while Firkle wiped green goo off of his front. _So I was right. Fuck, let’s hope we don’t have to deal with anymore of it._

As a plume of smoke filtered up through the vents, Craig caught sight of several moaning Elves and raised an eyebrow at the two Goth kids, who were doing as they usually did in lighting their respective cigarettes. “What?” Henrietta asked, that valley girl accent going strong. “Look, your _Princess_ asked us to clear the way, so… we did.”

“I am death, destroyer of worlds,” Firkle supplied helpfully, lifting his small battle ax, which, if Craig wasn’t mistaken, was totally real. _You see, this is why we don’t like them…_ Shaking off his possible problems with their _methods,_ Craig looked behind him at the other boys filtering in.

“Alright, they’re right, they _did_ handle it.” Looking over at Brandon, who was carefully examining the door to the rest of the school and working at picking the lock, Craig said, “You know how this is going to work. We need to get into the main body of the school to let the others in the front, then, we draw as many Elves as possible away from Kyle, so that the Grand Wizard can get the Stick.” Taking a deep breath after his long winded explanation, Craig flatly added, “That was a whole lot of fuck all, but our end goal is the gym.”

“Let’s get them!” Jack yelled from the back, which, naturally, resounded better. The other Humans cheered, and as Brandon held the door, the rest of them poured into the dark cafeteria. Almost instantly Craig heard shouts as the Elves that had been lying in wait attacked. At the front of the pack like he was, Craig instantly reacted, rolling to the side just in time to avoid the jet of water that shot through them.

“What the hell?” yelled one of the Humans,

“That’s boiling oil, in your _fucking face,”_ an Elf answered, one Craig recognized as Connor. “You’re dead now!!”

“That’s complete crap!” Ryan yelled back, which prompted the Elf to call something back. Craig just took stock of the other Elves and the convenient tables that they’d pulled over.

“No it isn’t, it’s totally in the rules~!” Connor snapped back, even as Craig judged how hard it would be to just scale the obstacle. “Boiling oil is totally a thing, you can’t say otherwise, that’s not fair!”

“Yeah, we’ll it’s not fair that you came up with it in the first place!”

There was a cloud of pink and purple, and as a feminine giggle solidified beside Craig in the form of Kenny McCormick, the Princess asked, “Is this the best you’re going to do Fucker? I thought you’d already be at the front doors~”

“Are you going to spend the whole night making stupid comments, or are you actually going to do something?” Craig asked, impatient.

Grinning, Kenny cooed, “Oh, I thought you’d _never_ ask.” Attitude hardening, Kenny suddenly darted towards the table, his bow already drawn and an arrow notched. Taking a flying leap over the cafeteria table, Kenny sailed over to the Elves’ side, a killer grin on his face. As the boys started to notice what was going on, the Princess called, “Oh _hello boys~”_ before letting loose with his arrow, hitting Connor in the head. As the Elves figured out that _something_ was happening, Craig huffed. _Well someone’s got to do it._

With a surprising amount of grace, though nowhere close to as much as Kenny, Craig vaulted over the table as well and landed in front of the Princess, catching the sword meant for the sandy-blond and stumbling back a pace because of it. Gritting his teeth, the Noirette drew his own blades and said, “You know McCormick, someday you’re not going to do stupid things.”

As he struck, knocking the boy off of his feet and into one of the many standing puddles of water, Kenny called, “Oh, but this is so much more _fun,_ I can see why Tweeky is just _enamored_ by you Tucker, you’re really a force to be reckoned with.”

“Kenny, I swear to god-” Craig started, striking the other Elf that came for him while the other humans took on the other few that were in the cafeteria, “One day, I’m going to _end_ you.”

“I look forward to that day Craig,” Kenny said, before waving a gloved hand and calling, “Now I’m going to go find the Grand Wizard before he throws another temper tantrum, have fun~!” As the boy vanished, Craig cursed under his breath and took out the Elf that had tried to attack him with several solid strikes to the kidneys and one good punch to the gut. _Goddamnit, I want Tweek here. Why did I have to let him leave._

“Follow the Princess!” Craig called instead, driving any and all thoughts of the blond from his head. “Get her to Cartman, we need to get things moving. Come on, they’re just Elves.”

Suddenly, there was a crackling from overhead and the voice of Kyle came from the PA system. _“I see all of you, you’re not going to get past us! You are fighting for the wrong side, you’re never going to beat us, and Cartman’s a fat liar. Lay down your weapons now, do it while you can.”_ Flipping of the speakers, Craig was distinctly glad when Terry threw a flaming tennis ball at the thing, cracking it and killing Kyle’s voice.

“What,” the boy said with a shrug when Daniel and William looked at him. “We needed a new one anyway, I’m just doing them a _favor.”_ Rolling his eyes, Craig lead the boys towards the exit of the cafeteria, his eyes locked on the disappearing Kenny.

The moment they were out in the hallway, Craig heard the sounds of fighting and twisted his head. Pointing in the direction where it was coming from, Craig said, “Alright, I want some of you to go with Lady McCormick but the rest of you follow me! Remember, divert and distract, we don’t have all the time in the world. Token and the other leaders are going to handle Kyle, we’re just here to make sure that most of the Elves are occupied.”

From the other end of the hallway, Kenny turned around and saluted Craig before vanishing, several of Craig’s force breaking away to go with the boy. Though the hallway was dark, the Noirette knew what that motion had meant. _It was a pleasure working with you, but here is where we part ways._ Well, it was. Kenny wasn’t wrong, if he did this right, this would be the last fucking time that he had to fight these people.

It would be the last time he had to fight for Cartman ever again.

Running towards the gym, where the sounds of the fighting were coming from, Craig and the other Humans broke into the room to a scene of melee and chaos. The lights were off, the only light seemed to be coming from the windows, and even that was dimming due to the clouds outside. There were boys everywhere, most of the Elves and the Humans if Craig was correct. All of them were fighting viciously, the entire gym turned into little more than a battleground.

Around him the boys he’d brought piled into the fight, adding their yells of anger and rage to the cacophony that was already there. Craig cursed under his breath and dodged the arrow that flew at him as he made his way towards the stands, which were also full of boys, all locked in combat. Ducking and rolling, attempting to keep out of the fight, Craig tried to see a way through, tried to see a lull in the fighting. All he could think was that these people didn’t _actually_ hate each other, they just hated Cartman or Kyle enough to side with one of them over the other.

 _This is stupid. At least Clyde makes sense. He’s been through shit, so he’s fighting it. But this? This is just bullshit, none of this has a purpose._ That was why he was here, though. That’s why he was bothering. Because if he could just get these kids to realize how stupid this whole game was, then-

“DIE HUMAN SCUM!!” Lifting his knife quickly, Craig darted upwards into the stands as a fifth grade Elf attacked him, his sword raised. His own counterattacks proving useless, Craig allowed the boy push him up in the direction that he wanted to go. _I know him. Fuck, maybe not well, but what the hell are we doing?_

“Dude, Nathan,” Craig muttered flatly, defending himself against each attack. “I _know_ you, you live just down the street from me. What the fuck?” Cape fluttering, Craig danced backwards, still climbing higher. “You’re not an Elf, you’re just a kid, I’m just a kid. Why are you calling me filth?”

Obviously, his advanced knowledge of where this was going was lost on the kid, who just looked at him like he was crazy. “You guys are the ones who think we have the Stick when we don’t!” Nathan yelled, swinging his sword like mad. “YOU’RE ALL JUST HUMAN FILTH!”

“Our stupid ass leader things you have the Stick, I happen to not think a damn thing. I just want to go home!” With a grunt, Craig knocked the boy backward, topping him. He tumbled down several stairs, yelling as he went. Tipping his chin up, Craig called, “So why don’t you do your fucking _homework_ before thinking that we’re anything like Cartman.”

“Well, you’ve got to admit you’re all kind of _dicks.”_ Abruptly, his thoughts were cut short as someone hit him in the back hard, the force enough to bruise him. Fighting to keep his balance, Craig turned to find a grinning Chris Donnelly, who leveled his sword at Craig and continued, “Come on Craig Tucker, one last fight. For the sake of old times.”

Lifting both of his blades, Craig said, “Well, _Chris Donnelly,_ it takes one to know one, doesn’t it?” before attacking. Even though they were supposedly fighting, Craig felt the camaraderie as they clashed, the way they moved and the way neither of them _tried_ to actually kill the other. Their movements felt something like a dance, and Craig had to admit, despite everything, the boy was an excellent fighter, and he was ready to have him on the same side, instead of on the opposing team.

“You ready to change some minds Craig?” Chris asked, his sword flashing as it connected with Craig’s side. Ducking in before dancing around the boy, Craig landed a strike on Chris’ back before snorting.

“I don’t know if anyone’s mind needs to be changed, I’m just saying what we’re all thinking,” Craig told the boy, his blue eyes alight and dangerous as he avoided retribution in the form of Chris Donnelly’s deadly strikes. “But yeah, I’m tired of working for these fuckers, I’m ready for it to be over.”

“It’s a good thing you said that, because if you hadn’t, I probably would have really tried to kill you,” Chris joked. “As it is-” He turned, and suddenly he hollered, “Jason, the lights~!” There was a crackle, and the dark gym was thrown into bright light that made all the boys in the room stop for a moment so they could blink and try to adjust to the change. “Yeah, I’m ready to go when you are.”

Having had the foresight to not look up at the lights, plus having the benefit of his chullo to somewhat protect him from the harsh glare, Craig nodded once before standing on the highest seat of the stadium and lifting an arm. “HEY! ELVES AND HUMANS, LOOK OVER HERE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!”

From the fighting, there came a collective sound as the boys all turned to look at Craig, who to be honest hadn’t thought past this point. Scanning the sea of people, each one of them dressed like a fucking renaissance fair enthusiast, Craig clenched the hand at his side and continued, “Fucking _finally.”_ Taking a breath, he continued, “What the hell are you guys doing??”

There was a general chorus of _fighting_ because of course they were, what kind of stupid question was that. _Ah Christ, I’m not good at giving pep-talks._ Stealing himself, Craig fired back, “Yeah, obviously you guys are fighting, but _why_ the hell are you fighting. Why are you doing this? Why are you doing _any_ of it??” Feeling his own frustration well up, Craig found himself flatly shouting, “All we do is fight, this whole _fucking_ game has been nothing but one big war, and all for what? So Cartman and Kyle can figure out who’s the bigger dick? Have any of you stopped to think about how _stupid_ this is??”

“What are you trying to do!?” an Elf yelled up at him, his voice joined by several humans, who were confused as to why their leader was saying things like this. _Fuck, I’m not good at this, what am I trying to do?_ “Come on, just let us fight!”

“Oh fuck off Charles, the only reason you want to fight is because you’re still salty about the fact that one of the Humans set your hair on fire last week,” Chris called, moving to stand beneath Craig.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that you got in the way of my fireball,” Terry said stubbornly.

Clearing his throat, Craig interrupted, “Look at us! Fuck, we’re throwing fire and shit at each other for a stupid feud that none of us even understand. What are we doing? Why are we doing this??”

“It used to be fun,” ventured a buck-toothed third grader from beside Daniel.

“Yeah, it _used_ to be,” Craig agreed. _How am I supposed to turn this around. Fuck._ “But it’s not fun anymore. It’s nothing but a load of bullshit.” Clenching his fist tighter, Craig struggled to put his churning thoughts into words until he was pretty sure that nothing made sense anymore. _What was I going to say before?Did I even have a plan?_ Closing his eyes, Craig tried to find something that would make sense.

“What about the battle though?” called an Elf from below him. “What about the Stick of Truth?”

“Yeah!” yelled a Human. “What are you trying to get at?”

Eyes flying open, Craig suddenly found himself staring at Tweek. Those bright green eyes locked with his, and Craig felt a surge of peace. Because it wasn’t just Tweek who calmed down when Craig patted his hair or just held his hand, it was the Noirette too. Tweek kept him centered, he kept Craig from locking up, he kept him moving. He kept him feeling, instead of just letting things fly past him. If Tweek had been here, he would have been able to speak.

So Craig pretended that the blond was there, and opened his mouth.

“This game has pushed us around for _months,”_ Craig said clearly, his flat voice ringing out over the gym. “We bleed and we die for imaginary factions in a made up game, we move because we’re told to, we hate because we’re told that hating is the right thing to do. Well guess what, that’s all bullshit, it’s not true. There’s nothing there, we’re just flailing around, and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of this shit.”

Looking down at Chris, who raised his eyebrows at him as if encouraging him, Craig took a breath and continued, “I got pushed into fucking _marrying_ someone. And I don’t care if it was fake, I still had to date her, and I didn’t want to. But I did it for a made up game, all because we were trying not to lose territory? When was the last time you guys got to walk around without getting shot at? Does anyone even remember what boring feels like?”

As loudly as he could manage, Craig yelled, “I’m fucking _sick_ of this game, and I’m fucking sick of the rules and the stupid _shit_ that they make us do! I’m ready for this fucking thing to end.”

“I agree,” Chris Donnelly said, stepping forward and sheathing his sword. “I’m tired of fighting, I’m tired of the bullshit, and I’m tired of pretending that I’m having fun while doing it.”

“So what are you suggesting?” an Elf asked, his question mimicked by those around him. “We’re too far into this to just _stop,_ Cartman ‘n Kyle are going to keep fighting, no matter what we do.”

Taking a deep breath, Craig dipped his head and said, “Yeah, they’re going to keep fighting, because someone has the Stick, and they want it back.” Grabbing at his belt, Craig found the small butter knife that he’d managed to keep with him through these months of playing, the one he’d taken from Token, the one he’d first fought Tweek with when everything had been light and fun, and he found his voice. “But guess what, neither of them have the Stick. Someone else has it, someone who’s going to bring this game down to its knees.”

Fiercely, Craig said, “Earlier this week, Clyde Donovan got thrown out of the Human faction because he lost the Stick to the Elves. It was bullshit, and Cartman knew it, but he did it anyway.” Searching the faces of those around him, Craig continued, “But guess what, unlike most of us, Clyde didn’t just sit down and take it. Instead, he made his own faction, and he’s going to take down the Elves and the Humans with it.”

As everyone started to break into muttering, Craig raised his voice and called, “Clyde has the Stick of Truth, and he’s going to use it to take Cartman and Kyle down, and I for one, am going to fucking help him, because he’s my fucking _friend_ and I’m sick of fighting my friends!”

“Look around you!” Chris called, his own voice carrying alongside Craig’s. “You guys are friends. I know you are! Even if you don’t think you are anymore, you used to dick around with each other and have fun, but you’ve been torn apart over a fucking _game._ So stop acting like assholes and stop being Elves and Humans.”

Lifting the butter knife, Craig evenly said, “I’m joining Clyde, and Chris is joining as well. Come with us. Help us take down both of those sons of bitches, and let’s just go back to being friends again. Life is complicated enough without this shit.”

For a moment, the kids beneath him were silent, and Craig half expected them to just start fighting again, after all, he wasn’t good at this whole _posisitivity_ thing, but then Daniel crossed his arms and stepped forward, his chin tipped up and his cool eyes trained on Craig. “You already know I’m joining,” the boy said, his voice ringing out clearly. “I’m tired of this, and I think that joining Clyde has a lot more potential. You have my support.”

From near where the light switch had been tripped, Jason stepped forward and pulled off the fake Halloween Elf ears. “Yeah, I’m sick of Kyle’s shit. I’m going with you guys.” Watching them both carefully, he added, “I think that Clyde knows what it’s like to be in our shoes, and I think that he’ll be more sympathetic to us. Though, that’s just my interpretation of it.”

Then, as Craig watched, the rest of the kids started disengaging fully from the fight, each one throwing up their own version of a concession. Soon the voices mingled and overlapped as everyone called for the downfall of Cartman, Kyle, and the rest of the bullshit excuse for a game they were playing. Though Craig didn’t smile, he tipped his head up and stuck his chest out, trying to look strong for these boys that were willing to fight for Clyde and him.

“Now what?” Brandon asked, his voice carrying above the other kids. “Where do we go from here?”

Looking down at Chris, Craig lifted an eyebrow and said, “Well, I’d say we ditch this shithole and head over to Clyde’s house. Because he’s got a fan-fucking-tastic Castle, and I’m tired of flimsy plywood and tents.”

Looking around him, as the other kids cheered and started heading out of the doors of the gym, which were being held open by an Elf and Jack, Craig had a vivid flash of green eyes cross his mind, and he felt his chest tighten in assurance. _This is what I’m supposed to do,_ Craig thought, his heartbeats audible in his ears. _This is how the game is going to end._

_Not with Kyle or Cartman on top._

_But with their downfall._

“You look happy,” Chris commented, having waited for Craig to come out of his reverie. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Yeah well,” Craig rolled his shoulders and tugged his chullo down over his forehead. “I’m just glad it’s going to be over.”

And he was, and he was confident that Tweek would be also.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FSHHHHHHH *slides out like a motherfucker*


	92. A Long Way To Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to say something that is going to come as a shock to some of you.
> 
> This story is almost done.
> 
> "But Que!" I hear you saying, "It's not done! It's hardly through the Stick of Truth!!"
> 
> Well, you'd be right, and you'd be wrong. This _first_ story is almost done, but the series is far from complete.
> 
> Before you say anything, yeah, I know that the sequels hardly ever do as well as the first, but I'm willing to grin and bear the loss, because you know what, the second part is going to be even better. And the third better than that, and the forth and finally, the fifth. That's right, there are going to be five of these suckers, unless I can shape up and start getting more concise.
> 
> Which means that this one, Semantically Challenged, will be done once they hit the end of fourth grade.
> 
> *bows*
> 
> Enjoy.

_“What if you get hurt?”_

_“I won’t… I’ll be back.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Yeah.”_

Well, Tweek might’ve believed Craig, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

Currently, he was sitting curled up in the back of Bebe’s room while she talked to Wendy, who was sitting on Bebe’s bed, her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. He hadn’t really moved from that spot since Bebe had shepareded him up here, not even when Bebe had helpfully lain a blanket over him, or when she’d offered to fill up his thermos. No, his mind was filled with images of Craig getting hurt. Not, granted, sliced and diced as he might’ve imagined when this whole thing had been new and fresh, but merely blacked and blued. Still not pretty, but at least not as bad.

It was keeping him from doing much, though, and Wendy’s presence was doing the rest.

“Bebbs, I don’t care about the stupid game,” Wendy was saying, her voice tight and clipped. “But you could have, _I don’t know,_ told me about this?? When it actually could have been solved?” Tweek had no idea what they were talking about. Something about the game, he was pretty sure, but girls never kept on track when they talked, so the game was probably only loosely connected to a bigger issue. Whatever it was, Bebe was upset about it, which made Tweek’s stomach hurt. Despite the whole thing about her dating Craig, Tweek really did consider Bebe to be a good person, and he didn’t like it when she was upset. It felt wrong.

“Wendy, please, I wasn’t trying to keep it from you,” Bebe insisted, wringing her fingers as she shifted attop her tuffet. “Come on, look at it from my perspective, you guys were really against the whole thing. And after the thing with Jenny last year? I couldn’t do that to you guys, I was looking out for my Sunshine Sisters, just like you would have wanted me to do.” _Why are her eyes sparkling like that?? Jesus, is she going to cry?? I don’t think I could handle her crying! I might really start to panic then. WHY CAN’T CRAIG BE HERE?!?_

“I don’t want you to get hurt, boo,” Wendy insisted, employing one of those pet names that girls seemed to have lying around in spades. “You’re way more important to me than that. _This_ is way more important than that. And besides, Clyde isn’t that bad, we would have supported you! Well, I don’t know about Tina, but she’s a bitch and _I_ would have supported you. That should be enough.” Admittedly, Tweek didn’t know how to play the pronoun game, and therefore had no idea what this, that, or for that matter Tina was. He did know who Clyde was though, and that just sent him into another spiral of worry.

Because after the reveal that Clyde had been kicked out of the game, Tweek didn’t know if the brunet was okay, and he didn’t know if _he_ was okay. _Jesus why did Craig have to leave?? Why couldn’t he have stayed here!? Clyde would have understood, what did he even have to do for Clyde anyway?!?_

“JESUS IT’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!” Tweek screeched, ducking his head down and yanking up the hood of Craig’s hoodie so that he wouldn’t have to see the face of Bebe when she was disappointed with his actions. _Oh god why did I say that?? SHE’S GOING TO HATE ME?!!_

“Why did Craig drop him off anyway?” Wendy asked sharply, sounding mildly disgruntled if not outrightly irritated at Tweek’s presence. “Where was he going? And why couldn’t he have taken Tweek with him?” Looking directly at Tweek, her eyes boring horrible holes into his head, the girl sharply asked, “Well? Why are you here?”

“OH CHRIST -NGH- B-BECAUSE CRAIG LEFT ME HERE!!!” Tweek all but shrieked, trembling under Wendy’s gaze. The girl was so much more terrifying when she was in close range like this, so much more deadly. _Oh god that didn’t answer her question!! What am I supposed to say??_

“Well that’s just lazy,” Wendy informed Tweek before turning back to Bebe. “Why are you letting Craig treat you like this hon, you aren’t his daycare, don’t look after the stuff he doesn’t want to.” Tweek’s eyes widened at that, and he bit down on his lip to stifle a whimper. _Craig doesn’t want me?? WHY WOULD SHE SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!?_

Practically shooting up from her tuffet, Bebe hurried over to the blond boy and crouched down in front of him. “Shut up Wends, Craig doesn’t think about Tweek that way, don’t make it sound like he does.” Grabbing for Tweek’s hands, which he could do nothing to stop the girl from taking into her own, Bebe pointedly said, “Craig isn’t being lazy, he just knows that Tweek and I get along well, isn’t that right Tweek?”

Faced with Bebe’s coaxing, dazzling smile, Tweek found himself nervously uncurling from his previously hunched position. “Ngh- Jesus I guess so,” he mumbled, swallowing hard. Softly, hopefully so that Wendy couldn’t hear him even though he had a feeling she could, Tweek quickly pushed out, “D-do you think Craig actually doesn’t w-want me around?? Is that why he left me here?”

“Come on Tweek, you know that’s not true,” Bebe reassured the boy, squeezing his hands tightly. It wasn’t as comforting as when Craig held his hands, but Tweek found his twitching getting a little less violent nonetheless. “You’re just tired of fighting, and Craig didn’t want to make you fight anymore. He’ll be back later, and then you guys can hang out.” As always, Tweek reflected that Bebe’s voice was beautiful, just like everything else about her, and it as improbable as it was miraculous that she put up with him at all.

“Tch- I can’t believe that game is even still going on,” Wendy muttered, huffing. “I’m amazed you put up with them for as long as you did.” Tweek had to agree, but he was too busy studying how neat and perfect Bebe’s nails were to say so. “Usually I’d say that boys have short attention spans, but they’ve kept that thing going for far too long.”

“If we hadn’t stepped in it probably would have ended sooner,” Bebe pointed out, carefully pulling Tweek out of the corner and leading him towards her bed, where Wendy was staring at the ceiling as if it had personally wronged her.

“Stan was the one who convinced me to join, I probably shouldn’t have listened to him, but it wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever decided to do,” Wendy said, her eyes softening somewhat as she mentioned the boy. _Just like Clyde’s eyes do when he talks about Bebe. And like Kenny’s eyes do when he sees Butters._ Tweek wasn’t sure where those thoughts were going, but thankfully, Wendy spoke again, letting him focus on something else. “Of course then we broke up, so none of us actually joined the Elves, but honestly, it was a cool idea.”

“Yeah, but then you made me marry Craig,” Bebe reminded the girl, helping Tweek scramble onto her bed where he curled up once more, careful not to get too close to Wendy. “And look how that turned out.”

“Bebs, I keep telling you,” Wendy cooed, her face one of frustrated concern. “You should have just _told_ us that you wanted to date Clyde, we could have done something about it.” Bebe crossed her arms and let out a puff of air, which drew more worried sounds from Wendy. _Girls are so weird, why do they act like this?? Why do they never say what they mean?_

“Wendy, it’s not that easy,” Bebe insisted, eyes shifting around. “You guys wanted me to do something, and I didn’t think I had a choice about it. At the time, you definitely didn’t make it sound like I did. Admit it, you were too annoyed at Cartman to pay attention to the rest of us.”

“I want you to be happy,” Wendy insisted, and Tweek went back to staring at the weave of Bebe’s duvet cover.

“Well, I am now,” Bebe said firmly crossing her arms over her chest. “And it’s probably better this way anyway. At least now when I date Clyde, I won’t have to worry that it’s just for a game.”

Wendy turned her nose in the air. “If Clyde ever treated you that way, I would personally hurt him Bebe, remember that. No girl should have to go through thinking if she’s wanted or not, it’s miserable. I would know. Which is why I’m _still_ not happy with Craig because he shouldn’t have done that to you for a month.”

“To be fair, I did it to him too,” Bebe pointed out, walking over to her little table and rearranging the things on it, a little obsessively, Tweek realized. Taking a deep breath, the girl continued, “But that’s okay, it’s over now, so now we’re both free, which is good for both of us.”

_Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?_

“Thank god for that,” Wendy muttered, completely oblivious to Tweek’s confusion. Twitching, the boy flicked his eyes between both girls, trying to figure out what they’d just said. What was over? The game? But that definitely wasn’t over yet, otherwise Craig wouldn’t be gone right now, so what were they talking about?? What had Tweek missed, what could possibly over? _Oh god, I can’t handle this!! Why do they never make any sense? Why do girls have to be so confusing!? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO STUPID?!_

In the absence of something to bang his head against, Tweek fisted his hands in his hair and squeaked, “Wh-what do you mean it’s over?!? What are you t-talking about?” When both girls turned and gave him twin looks of confusion, Tweek shrieked softly and demanded, “JESUS WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?”

“Don’t you know?” Wendy asked, sounding genuinely puzzled. “Craig and Bebe broke up today. Didn’t he tell you?”

Tweek’s mind sort of short circuited.

Everything around him grew muzzy as his heart thumped in his ears. Vaguely, he could make out Bebe saying something reproachful to Wendy, and getting a nonplussed response in return, but the words were lost to the rushing in his head. _Craig and Bebe broke up._ After so long spent miserable, upset, and jealous over something stupid, after being forced to come to terms with his own shortcomings and after finally reconciling things with Craig, they’d broken up. Just like that.

“-but I didn’t realize you didn’t know, I thought you would have seen it on Facebook or something,” Bebe was saying as the things around him slowly came back into focus, even though his mind was refusing to do so. “He broke up with me at lunch. He was really nice about it and everything, but yeah, he broke up with me.”

_Craig broke up with Bebe._

“Oh no no no, Tweek, don’t cry,” Bebe suddenly cooed, hurrying over to him. “It’s going to be alright~” Reaching up, Tweek realized that yes, there were tears on his face, but he didn’t even know how to begin to say that they weren’t tears of sadness, but tears of overwhelming and utter relief. _It’s over. Craig wasn’t lying, he meant it. Things are changing. He’s changing them._

“He did it,” Tweek whispered, his voice oddly steady for how much he was shaking. “He did it, it’s done.” Even though Bebe clearly had no idea what he was talking about, Tweek turned his face towards her and smiled tentatively, his tears still falling from his eyes. “You guys aren’t together anymore,” he said softly, as if to cement it as being true. “It’s over.”

“Tweek, are you okay?” Wendy asked, sounding more confused that anything. As Bebe dabbed at Tweek’s face with a tissue and clucked under her breath comfortingly, Tweek found himself grinning like an idiot as a light, happy feeling hit him like a wall. For the first time in ages, his chest felt light, painless. His heart didn’t hurt, and his guts didn’t twist because _why would they_ things were better. Everything was going to be okay. He didn’t have to feel jealous anymore or think about how he was going to lose Craig to a girl who was clearly better than him, Craig had broken up with Bebe so it was over.

“Y-yeah,” he said, even as the world around him seemed to jump into brighter shades of color. “I’m -ghn- great.”

“Okay…” Trailing off, Wendy shook her head and said, “I want to finish this conversation Bebs, but I have to get going.” Sliding off of the bed, Wendy headed for the door, and Bebe hurried after her, jumping right back into another meaningless conversation that girl’s seemed to have just too many of. That left Tweek alone with his thoughts, which, in the blond’s opinion, wasn’t actually a bad thing.

Glancing down at the mood ring that he still had stubbornly jammed onto one of his fingers, Tweek smiled ridiculously and felt _joy_ bubbling in his chest. It was so unbelievably stupid, because it wasn’t like he’d lost Craig before to Bebe, even when they had been dating, and Craig had other friends so he didn’t belong to Tweek at all, but Tweek felt _better._ He hadn’t even realized how heavy the weight on him had been until it was gone, but it had weighed a ton, and now there was nothing. Just happiness, security, _warmth._

He cared, Craig really did care. Tweek knew that the Noirette hadn’t liked his relationship with Bebe either, but he hadn’t given a shit one way or another. But Tweek had, and now Bebe was back to being a friend instead of Craig’s girlfriend and that was alright. Because Craig would never stare at the stars with Bebe or kiss her or curl up with her when she was upset, no, he’d only ever do that with Tweek. _I’m so weird, but I don’t think I care anymore. It’s Craig, why would I?_

Glancing over to the window, Tweek suddenly wished that he was with Craig, because even though he’d have to fight, and even though there were grey clouds covering the sky and it was cold out, he’d be able to be beside the Noirette, and that’s where he wanted to be. He didn’t know if that was because he belonged there, or because he’d chosen to belong there, but he wasn’t sure if it mattered. _I’m allowed to have this one good thing, right? Just this one thing._

“I’m so sorry about that Tweek, I didn’t mean to make you listen to us argue for that long.” Jerking his head up at the sound of Bebe’s voice, Tweek twitched and blinked rapidly before realizing she was talking about Wendy.

“N-no!” he insisted, shaking his head quickly before looking around for his thermos which he was _sure_ he’d left around here somewhere. “I was the one who just -rrr- showed up out of nowhere!” Finding his elusive thermos still in the corner where he’d left it, Tweek all but fell out of the bed as he scrambled after it. “What were you guys talking about though?? I m-mean, I was distracted, and I wasn’t listening to all of it and CHRIST IF IT’S P-PRIVATE I DIDN’T MEAN TO HEAR ANYTHING!!”

Shaking her head, tucking her hair behind her ear, Bebe quickly said, “No, Tweek, it’s fine, we were just talking about Clyde. I never told Wendy that I had a crush on him, and and she wanted to talk about the fact that I’d broken up and I guess one thing led to another.” Finally getting his hands on his thermos, Tweek fumbled it open and took a few rushed sips before answering.

“Is Clyde going to ask you out??” Tweek asked, his eyes wide as he watched Bebe neaten up her bed and vanish into her closet. “Ghn- h-he likes you I think!! And I think you guys should get together!”

“I hope he thinks the same thing,” Bebe called from her closet. “But that’s probably going to have to wait until he’s done with the game. Otherwise, it’s going to be too confusing.” Shivering, Tweek took another few sips of coffee and thought about it.

“Clyde got banished, y-you know that right?” Tweek asked, before feeling dumb for saying anything at all. _Of course she knows, she knows everything. I’m the only one who didn’t know that he got kicked out._ “Jesus, of course you -ngh- knew that!!”

“I only found out about it yesterday,” Bebe admitted, her voice slightly muffled. “Scott told me while the rest of you were fighting Jimmy.” Yesterday? Had it really been only yesterday? Tweek felt like it had been a year. Enough had happened for it to be one… “I’m really worried about him Tweek,” the girl continued, her movements stopping for a moment. “He really cared about that game, and now he’s gotten thrown out of it.”

“W-well Craig said he was going to help him,” Tweek told her, screwing the lid back onto his thermos. “And if Craig’s helping him -grrr- th-then Clyde’s going to be fine, right?” Except no, Craig was at the school fighting the Elves, which meant that Clyde was alone, and that did make Tweek’s stomach roll. “Jesus I just want the game to be over!!!”

Stepping out of the closet, a coat in her hands, Bebe nodded absently. “Yeah, I do too. I’m worried that you guys are going to get hurt.” Fussing with the jacket, Bebe muttered, “It’s not like the game isn’t violent, you guys could really hurt each other if you’re not careful.” Remembering similar fears back when he’d just started playing the fantasy game, Tweek twitched and nodded fervently.

“I don’t like that Craig’s out playingandstuff,” Tweek admitted, wringing his fingers. “I know he can h-handle himself, but what if something happens!! Oh god, that would be way too much pressure!!”

“You’re allowed to worry,” Bebe told him, lowering her coat so she could look at him with a soft expression. “You care about each other, I bet he’s worrying about you too. Besides-” Taking the coat off of the hanger, Bebe seriously said, “I’m worried about Clyde right now, and I’m not nearly as close to him as you are to Craig.”

“B-but that’s because you guys _like_ each other,” Tweek objected, watching as the girl shrugged into her usual coral jacket and buttoned it up.

Bebe didn’t answer for a moment, then she looked up at Tweek and smiled brightly. “You’re right, I do, which is why I want to go visit him and make sure he’s okay, if you don’t mind.”

Eyes widening, Tweek stumbled to his feet, his eagerness getting the better of his fear that if he moved, Craig wouldn’t know where he was. “Yes!” he agreed, nodding rapidly. “I w-want to see him too!” He hadn’t seen Clyde in a few days, and with the knowledge that he’d been kicked out of the game fresh in his mind, Tweek wanted to see his friend and make sure that he was indeed alright. At his words, Bebe’s smile changed into one of those encouraging smiles that she did so well.

“Wonderful! I thought you might. After all, he’s your friend too.” Shivering, Tweek nodded and followed Bebe as she opened her bedroom door and headed downstairs, her strides purposeful. _I get it, the way she’s worried about him. It_ is _sort of like how I worry about Craig._ Even though Tweek obviously didn’t like Craig the way Bebe liked Clyde, he still understood.

Outside was darker out than Tweek felt it should have been, but it wasn’t that bad. With Bebe beside him, her bright countenance making things seem a little lighter overall, Tweek didn’t feel the need to glance over his shoulder every few seconds. Of course he knew that the monsters were there, but they weren’t going to hurt him right now probably, so he chose not to think about them.

Bebe chattered about random things as they walked. She talked about Heidi and how the girl was coming over in a couple days so they could do each other’s nails and _did you know that she had a crush on someone in the grade above them, but I can’t tell you who Tweek, because she probably wouldn’t want me to._ She also talked about Wendy and Stan and about how if Stan was a dick to Wendy one more time, she would need to have words with him because _how dare he treat her like that, she’s so wonderful and he should realize that and make up his mind._

Tweek just listened, nodding along when he felt like he should and attempting to pull his face into the appropriate emotions to go along with what she was saying. He didn’t really get girl talk, it seemed like a whole lot of nothing to him, but he liked that Bebe was willing to talk to him like she would her other friends. It made him feel weirdly accepted, and that, much like the feeling of having friends in general, was a wonderful feeling.

As they turned the corner onto Craig’s and Clyde’s street, Bebe finally finished her well thought out argument on exactly why the school was wrong to have stopped promoting the girl’s volleyball matches and looked up before stopping, her eyes wide. Following her gaze, Tweek spotted the very obvious castle Clyde had in his backyard and shivered before quickly explaining, “Ngh- It’s just s-something that Clyde’s been working on! It’s really really cool!”

“It’s certainly something,” she said uncertainly, her brows furrowing. “Um… I think those are skulls.” Squinting, Tweek realized what she was talking about and he could feel his stomach do some uncomfortable things. _Oh god, why does Clyde have skulls on his castle??_ And for that matter, when had it gone from being distinctly happy and light to being scary and menacing. What had he missed?? _Oh god, what if Clyde’s hurt or upset or in trouble?? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!_

“OHJESUS-!” Without thinking, Tweek hurried forward, almost tripping over himself as he ran towards Clyde’s house, Bebe in tow. Almost slipping and face planting on the pavement, Tweek managed to catch his balance before hurrying up the front steps to Clyde’s door, which he frantically knocked on a few times before letting out an involuntary sound and leaping backwards. “ACK!!” he screeched, dropping his thermos as he pulled on his hair, trying to release some of the tension in his head.

Catching up to him, Bebe gracefully stooped to pick up his thermos and simply stood a little bit in front of him as the door was opened from inside by Clyde’s dad, who looked at them in confusion, probably because of how strange a pair they were. “Are you looking for Clyde?” he asked, in a tone that denoted perpetual cluelessness.

Composing herself far faster than Tweek ever could, Bebe promptly said, “Yes, Mr. Donovan, we are~ Do you know where he is?”

“He’s outside with the rest of the kids,” the man said slowly, his brows furrowing together. _The rest of the kids?!? OH GOD WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??_ Momentarily, Tweek stopped yanking on his hair so he could slap a hand over his mouth to stifle his scream. Blinking at Tweek, clearly taken aback, Mr. Donovan said, “If you want to go back there and find him you can.”

“Yes, that would be _wonderful,”_ Bebe all but sang, bobbing in aquiessence before catching Tweek’s forearm in her hand and pulling him through Clyde’s house. Twitching and shaking too hard to stop her, Tweek just let himself be pulled through the dining room and the kitchen and towards the back door without complaint. Handing Tweek back his thermos so she could open the door, Bebe pushed open the back door and pulled Tweek through before stopping, causing the blond to run into her.

Instantly, Tweek knew why she’d stopped.

Clyde’s yard was a center of activity. Everywhere there were kids, ones that Tweek recognized as being both Humans and Elves, changing costumes and carrying things and sharpening weapons and generally looking like they were preparing for war. To his left, he saw Russell helping an Elven archer put horns on a helmet, and to his right, he saw Jason directing a group of Humans who were carrying a dangerous looking piece of a barricade. _Oh god, what’s going on??_

Shivering and keeping close to Bebe as she stepped off of the porch, Tweek’s eyes flickered around the faces that turned towards them. There were _so many_ of them, and if the hustle and bustle inside the castle was any indication, there were even more. He had no idea what was going on, and it terrified him, but everyone let them through, so he didn’t dare question it right now. As they crossed over the drawbridge, there was a call from the top of the castle that was followed by a general bustle towards the middle section of the castle.

A moment later, Clyde came skidding out onto the platform and he leaned off of the precarious edge so he could wave down at them. Tweek felt like screaming again at the sight of the boy. It was _Clyde_ but it was all wrong because why was he wearing that big, dangerous looking metal crown and where those more skulls on his clothing?? Why was he dressed up like that if he’d been kicked out of the game? What was going on??

“Bebe!” Clyde called, his eyes lighting up brightly as he stared down at her. “Teacup, you’re here too!! Hi!” He waved excitedly, as if that was supposed to make either of them feel any better. Tweek wanted to respond, but he didn’t dare, he just stared up at the castle and wished that things would start to make sense.

“Clyde, what on _earth_ is all of this?” Bebe asked back, gesturing wildly at the castle. “I thought you got kicked out of the game, what’s going on.” A valid question, one Tweek sincerely hoped got answered sooner rather than later.

“It’s- Hang on a moment!!” Scrambling back into the castle, Clyde vanished for a minute as he no doubt climbed down before he burst out of the mouth of the fort, a grin on his face. “It’s my castle!” he told Bebe breathlessly, his eyes lit up like they always were when Bebe was around, yet somehow dark, like something was horribly wrong. “Do you like it?”

Bebe must have seen that _thing_ too, because she shook her head emphatically and said, “No, Clyde, I don’t like it. Why do you have a huge, evil fortress? What’s going _on.”_

Smile faltering somewhat, Clyde said, “Well, Cartman kicked me out, so I made a new faction. We’re going to take over both of the other factions now and then we’ll win the game!”

“HOW IS THAT A GOOD THING??!” Tweek burst suddenly, startling Clyde. Yanking on his hair with one hand, Tweek whimpered, “W-why would you do this?! Don’t you want the game to be over too??” But Clyde just kept looking at Tweek in confusion, which only increased the blond boy’s panic. _WHY DOESN’T HE UNDERSTAND??!?! OH GOD!!!_

“But that’s what we’re doing,” Clyde insisted, his eyes wide and imploring. “This is my army of darkness! We’re taking over the game so that neither the Elves nor the Humans win and we’re going to beat up both Cartman and Kyle because they’re both horrible.”

“Clyde Donovan, what gave you the impression that _that_ was the way to solve your problems?” Bebe demanded hotly, planting her hands on her hips and glaring at Clyde, who took a step back worriedly and shuffled his feet awkwardly. “You’re supposed to be _better_ than them, why are you acting _worse?”_

“But I’m not acting worse,” Clyde countered, obviously trying to placate the girl. “Bebe, I’m getting _revenge_ on them for doing what they did. It’s totally okay!” Tweek let out a screech at that, and Bebe just shook her head, her face betraying how upset the whole thing was making her. _Oh god, she looks really really upset, why won’t Clyde just stop?! Why does he have to be doing this in the first place?? JESUS IT’S TOO MUCH!!!_

“But you’re being just like them, this is exactly what Cartman would do!” Bebe insisted, her voice losing some of its calm. “Clyde, _please,_ think this through a little harder. Don’t do this, just- I don’t know, give up.”

“I can’t give up!” Clyde insisted, spreading his hands wide. “This is going to be amazing Bebe, you’ve got to believe me, I-”

“Hey Clyde, the thing’s going live in a few minutes, I just got the text from Kenny. Get your ass up here.”

At the sound of that voice, Tweek let out a whimper and shoved past both Clyde and Bebe in his haste to get to it. Elves and Humans got out of his way as Tweek scrambled upwards, his mind one long yell of confusion and terror and _disbelief._ This shouldn’t be happening, Clyde shouldn’t be starting his own army and _he_ shouldn’t be helping! Because he _knew_ that voice, knew that slightly nasally, deep monotone better than he knew his own voice. But he couldn’t believe it, because how could it be, how could it be-

“Craig?!” As Tweek skidded into the familiar antechamber to Clyde’s throne room, Craig turned around and looked down at him from the upper balcony, his blue eyes sparking as they landed on him. Twitching horribly, Tweek stared up at the boy, trying to figure out what was going on, even as Craig’s expression became his usual mask of nothing. _No, don’t do this to me Craig, please, don’t do this to me now. We just started talking again, we just figured things out. You just broke up with Bebe, please don’t do this to me._

“Tweek?” His flat voice only conveyed mild confusion, as if he didn’t know what business the blond had in being there. “What the fuck-”

“What are you doing?!” Tweek demanded, shaking as he clenched his thermos with one hand and his hair with the other. “Why are you doing this!? Why does Clyde have an army, why are you _here?!”_ But Craig just kept staring at him, his brows furrowing slightly. _Please, just come down from there and don’t do this. I can’t handle this anymore, I can’t take this!_

Craig’s only response was, “Why are you here?” Tweek let out a horrible whimper, because why was that what Craig was thinking about?? “You’re supposed to be at Bebe’s.”

“W-we were coming to see Clyde,” Tweek said, before shaking his head and pushing out, “But th-that doesn’t matter!! You’re not supposed to b-be doing this!! Why are you starting another army with Clyde??” _Why didn’t you tell me?_ he wanted to ask, but didn’t dare. _Why didn’t you ask me to join with you? I would have, I would have jumped at the chance to support Clyde and you. Why did you just leave me behind? Why do you keep not telling me things?_

“It’s none of your business,” Craig told Tweek instead, his eyes dark. “You should be leaving, you should be going back to Bebe’s hou-”

“I DON’T WANT TO GO TO BEBE’S HOUSE I WANT TO GO HOME WITH YOU!!!” Tweek screeched, squeezing his eyes tight and shaking his head violently. “Ngh- I just want to b-be _happy_ with you, w-why did you have to d-do something like this??”

“Because the game needs to end, and we’re going to end it,” Craig responded stonily, unfeelingly. “Go away Tweek, it’ll be over soon, and then we can just go back to normal.”

“Just come with me!!” Tweek insisted, trying to ignore the fact that Craig didn’t want him here at all, because that really _hurt_ when he just wanted to be around the Noirette. “F-forget all of this and just leave! You don’t have to be part of this Craig, it’s just a -rrr- s-stupid game!”

“I can’t,” Craig said simply, lifting his chin and looking down his nose at Tweek. “Go away Tweek, I’m not going to leave.”

“Grrr- THEN LET ME JOIN WITH YOU!!!” Tweek yelled, glaring up at Craig. “L-let me join you and take down Cartman and Kyle with you!”

Any and all hope that Tweek had possessed shriveled and died as Craig shook his head one last time and took a step back from the edge. “I don’t want you here Tweek, I don’t want you fighting with me. Go home.” Then he turned and walked away, leaving Tweek to stare after him, his heart slowly crumbling and dying in his chest.

_He doesn’t want me. He… He honestly doesn’t- Craig doesn’t-_

_He doesn’t care, does he?_

Unable to stand there a moment longer, Tweek turned and fled.

As he barreled out of the castle a moment later, Clyde caught his arm. “Whoa, Teacup, are you-”

“LEAVE ME ALONE!!” Tweek found himself yelling, shaking Clyde off violently. Catching sight of Bebe, visibly upset and close to breaking down herself, he added, “Ngh- S-sorry for ruining your fun, w-we’re leaving.”

Shakily, Bebe nodded and said, “Yes, we are.” As Tweek shuffled past her, the girl turned sharply on her heels and followed him, her steps as clear and purposeful as his were slow and upset. Ignoring Clyde’s dad as they walked through his house, Tweek just shoved through the front door and onto the front steps, unable to think past getting _out._

It was only then that Bebe spoke. “I can’t believe them,” she said, her voice trembling. “I can’t believe _him.”_

And Tweek couldn’t believe them either, but unlike Bebe, he couldn’t breathe enough to speak.

_He hates me._

_Craig hates me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So about the end of this first story...
> 
> I'm announcing something even cooler, to be honest, because with the end of this story, I'll be able to print out and send to you, for a certain amount of money, a copy of Semantically Challenged, complete with illustrations done by some of our resident masters of Creek art. Most of the money will cover the printing, and the rest will be going to the artists who've graced us with their presence.
> 
> I've contacted several people about doing art for this, but yeah, if you're interested, say something!! And I'll totally consider adding your art in. As for the rest of you, well, I'll keep you posted on the progress. For now, ON WITH THE REST OF THE STORY.


	93. The Price of Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHMYGOD!
> 
> So, this previous week I've gotten to meet three different people that I've met through this whole project and I just want to say, thank you so much guys for coming out to see me!!! Stan, Ethan, Nami, you guys were amazing and wonderful and I could spend hours talking to you guys, and still never get bored. Thank you thank you, you're an inspiration to me. Especially Ethan, who helped nudge this chapter along XD
> 
> Also, big big thanks to DankChicken (Don't judge, it's their discord name) For editing this chapter before I posted it and pointing out all of my little mistakes, while cheering me up with vines. I need that, like, all the time.
> 
> So without further ado
> 
> Enjoy.

Craig hadn’t expected Tweek to show up, but fuck, he _had._

After gathering everyone and taking them to Clyde’s castle, Craig had thought that it was, well, _over._ He’d done his part, now he just needed to deal with the details until they actually managed to attack Cartman. Clyde had been babbling about green taco sauce and other mildly disturbing things, but Craig had taken a step back and let the sixth graders Clyde had apparently recruited deal with that while he just watched the thing come together.

He hadn’t really thought through the fact that Tweek was still at Bebe’s house and that meant that he was waiting for the Noirette or possibly wondering where he was. No, that just hadn’t really occurred to him.

The whole scene at Clyde’s ‘fortress of darkness’ as he was calling it, was a little baffling to Craig in the first place, if not actively upsetting. The _zombies_ wandering around everywhere certainly didn’t help, as did the general evil feeling of the whole damn project. Even though it was just a game, Craig was starting to wonder if at some point Clyde had lost the plot because _this_ didn’t feel like a game. It felt like war.

So when he’d finally gotten himself as far away from that as possible, instead of helping William and Chris with the video camera that Clyde had insisted they set up, he’d been satisfied to be away from everything else. Sure there was a vat of that damn alien goo beside him, but the stuff was everywhere, and his mind was full of too many other overpowering thoughts to care. His only real, clear thought, had been taking a moment to reflect how _glad_ he was that Tweek wasn’t a part of this.

Bad enough that they were fighting, bad enough that it was dangerous and Clyde was clearly a little bit _off,_ but there were bits of Alien stuff everywhere to boot, and Craig _knew_ that Tweek would freak out if he thought that they were working with _anything_ that had been on that ship. He wanted to say the same thing, but he just kept telling himself that he was doing it for Clyde, and put up with it.

But then Tweek had shown up.

Craig didn’t have a clue what was going on until it was way too late to figure out what he was supposed to say. One moment, everything had been going fine, and the next Tweek had been _demanding_ to know what was going on and begging him to stop when it hadn’t even been his idea. All Craig could think was that Tweek didn’t belong here; not where he could get hurt, not where there was fighting and shady shit that Craig didn’t like. He belonged at home, safe, where this stuff could just pass him by without touching him.

But that hadn’t happened, had it?

_He’s fine, it’s fine. He’s just upset that I left him out, but he’ll understand. It’s all going to be fine once Clyde wins, or possibly loses, everything will go back to normal. Besides, Tweek doesn’t need to be put through any more of this bullshit._

God, he felt sick. _Is it wrong that I wanted to go home with him? Is it wrong that I wanted to go to his house and just curl up in bed with him and pretend like the rest of the world didn’t exist?_ Did that make him selfish? Stupid?

“Craig? Craig!” Jerking his head up, Craig found Chris watching him with a raised eyebrow. Beside him was Daniel, who was fiddling with the drone that they’d stolen from the game keepers -with Brandon’s help of course- so they could film the thing that Clyde wanted. The former elf was watching Craig with some sort of bemused suspicion that fit him quite well. “You’re drifting dude, we need you thinking straight. What did Princess Kenny say?”

Glancing down at his own phone, on which stood out the words **_[Oh look, Kyle kicked Cartman’s ass. Is anyone surprised? They’re going to be coming your way soon Fucker, so do what you need to do. I can only be fabulous for so long]_ ** Kenny, Craig reflected, texted like he talked, which was impressive because Craig didn’t have the patience for that much texting. Or talking, for that matter.

Unless it was Tweek… _Shit, Tweek’s going to be pissed isn’t he?_ No, Craig wasn’t going to think like that. He was doing this for the blond anyway. Him and Clyde, right? Himself too, though that took backseat. Tweek might be upset, but he’d get over it, he’d understand eventually.

Kenny had never said it would be easy.

Flicking his eyes up at the other boys, Craig raised an eyebrow and flatly said, “Well, Kenny’s got everything in place on his end, so all we have to do is get Clyde up here.”

“He was talking to Bebe, last I saw,” Jesse called helpfully from where he and another boy were fiddling with one of the large drums of alien goo. Craig’s stomach turned, but he didn’t say anything. _Why am I letting Clyde do this?_ Well… It wasn’t like he didn’t want to see Cartman and Kyle both get what was coming to them after all the bullshit they’d put him and Tweek through. _Fuck them,_ Craig thought, clenching his jaw. _Especially that fat fuck._

Suddenly realizing what Jesse had said, Craig swore under his breath. _So that’s why Tweek was here. Fuck, and I thought that leaving him with Bebe was the best way to keep him from ending up in the middle of this shitstorm._ Feeling his mood grow progressively worse, he muttered, “I swear to god, if he’s crying somewhere-” which was uncharitable to say the least, but he knew how sensitive Clyde was about Bebe, and if the girl had yelled at him or gotten upset, chances were he’d react badly. _Or maybe I’m projecting._ He was pretty sure that’s what Bebe had called it… Glancing back at the other boys, Craig said, “I’m going to go find him, you guys know what you’re doing.”

Tossing his phone at Chris, who caught it and gave him a mock salute, Craig swiftly headed back over the precarious bridge that led back to the main body of the castle. As he walked, he glanced over the edge and tried to see where Clyde was, but gave up rather quickly. _I still can’t believe we’re doing this. I still can’t believe that Clyde came up with something like this._ Except it sort of felt… inevitable. Token would have been able to say it better.

Passing other kids without remark, Craig kept heading down. All around him he saw the formation of an army as the green goo was injected into animals and several hobos, if he wasn’t mistaken. It was disturbing, but somehow, he was numb to it. _Fuck, I’ve been doing this for too long. I need things to go back to normal._

Quickly jogging out to the middle level and leaning over the railing so he could see down to the kids on the ground, Craig shouted, “Clyde, get up here!” As his flat monotone carried over them, Clyde, who’d been talking to Jason, quickly looked up. Flipping the boy off, Craig pulled his cape around him and straightened as the boy gave him a thumbs up and vanished into the castle. _God I don’t want to be here,_ Craig thought, his teeth grinding together.

As images of Tweek’s broken face flashed through his mind, Craig softly groaned. He almost wished he’d tried to at least help the boy _understand_ but he didn’t want Tweek to get caught up in this. He didn’t want the boy around fucking nazi zombies or green goo or Clyde, who was frankly acting like he’d lost his goddamn mind. All Craig wanted was for Tweek to stay safe. Why was that so fucking hard?

 _Heh, remember what happened last time you tried to keep him from getting hurt at all. Remember what happened with Stan._ Well, yeah, he did remember, but this was different, right? This was bigger. What had Kenny said about the stakes being higher the next time? Craig was pretty sure he hadn’t been talking about it in this context, actually, he might have been telling the Noirette _not_ to do this.

 _But he said that it would hurt. This hurts, and it’s what’s_ right, _so fuck it, I’m going to do what I think is right. I’m done doing what other people think I should. I’ve got a fucking spine, so I’m going to act like it._

Attempting to use some of that fire to shake his mind loose from the hold of the thoughts of Tweek that had him so conflicted, Craig opened his eyes to find Clyde striding out of the castle, his face set. It was a reminder that even if Clyde was quite possibly going crazy, he’d still just seen Bebe, and Craig doubted it had gone well.

Taking a breath, Craig briefly asked, “What did Bebe want?” Something flashed in Clyde’s eyes, but it vanished a moment later. The Noirette wished the calm look on Clyde’s face could actually be reassuring instead of worrying.

“She wanted me to stop,” Clyde said, before laughing weakly. “But, well, I can’t. And I don’t want to. She’ll be fine.” If Craig had been a more emotionally driven person, he might have asked if the boy was okay, but as it was, they were on a time limit, and he was too drained to be of any help to Clyde. Which was depressing, but true.

Instead, Craig tipped his chin up and gave Clyde a firm look. “We’re going to finish this Clyde, we’re going to fucking win. Then it’ll be over.” _Please, let it be over with._ Thankfully, Clyde nodded and his expression picked back up.

“Of course we are!” Clyde exclaimed, his eyes glassy, but determined. “Now, you ready to do this??”

“Ye _p,”_ Craig agreed, tiredly. _Ready as I’ll ever be anyway._

Following the boy inside as he hurried up towards the throne room, Craig disinterestedly watched several sixth graders attempt to herd a cow into one of the gated pens. It spouted something in German at him, and he flipped it off before it vanished from his field of view. As they walked, Clyde said, “Now, I’m going to play this up for dramatic effect, don’t worry, I know what I’m doing, but I’ve got to make it real, you know?”

 _It’s a game,_ Craig almost said. _How real are we supposed to let this get? Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself?_ “Yeah, totally,” he agreed passively, his dull eyes wandering. _But then, aren’t I getting ahead of myself too?_ Fuck, he needed to stop second guessing himself. What was done, was done. He couldn’t change it, and he didn’t want to fucking think about it anymore.

Noticing that they were already to the bridge, Craig quickly asked, “Do you have the Stick?” Managing a grin, Clyde pulled it out from under his cape and wiggled it around. With a roll of his eyes, Craig snorted, and Clyde laughed shortly, before Chris Donnelly called them both over, waving emphatically.

“It’s now or never. We got the cat like you asked Clyde, dunno what you’re going to do with it, but…” The curly haired boy trailed off and shrugged. “Um… Kenny told you to remember what he said. Dunno about what, but I thought you should know.” Shaking his head, the boy muttered, “Lady McCormick is weird.” Well, he wasn’t wrong, Craig thought, as the boy tossed him back his phone.

While they talked, Clyde was getting into position. The other boys who were up there cleared out of the way and Daniel fiddled with the controls of the drone, which he insisted would be much neater than simply taking the video. Craig didn’t really care, as long as he didn’t have to get involved with the damn thing. Giving his phone one last glance, Craig called over, “Okay, says they’re opening the laptop now. Clyde, whenever you’re ready.”

Grinning, Clyde took off his crown and tucked it behind his back as he held the Stick of Truth up in front of him. _This is it,_ Craig took the time to think as the scene seemed to crystalize in his mind. _This is where we stand our ground._

This far and no further. Cartman and Kyle and all the rest could screw with them as long as they wanted, but eventually, they were going to screw them up in return.

Clyde raised the Stick. “Greetings, Humans and Drow Elves of Zaron!” Around him, the other boys fell silent. It was like the entire backyard was tensed, ready for what was to come. Craig just tilted his head up and watched his friend cooly. _If this weren’t so fucked, I’d say he was made to lead._

Folding his hands behind his back, the boy turned his head and said, “While you have all been busy fighting amongst yourselves-” Craig could almost _feel_ Kenny’s smugness through his phone. He didn’t even have to look down at his screen to know the boy was texting him about his own ingenuity. “I have built a kingdom beyond your comprehension!” Clyde finished, drawing Craig’s attention once more.

“I prayed for a way to destroy you all,” Clyde continued, walking towards the drum of Alien goo as the camera followed him. “And the solution came crashing down from the heavens!” _I wonder if I should tell him what that stuff is,_ Craig thought distantly. _Probably not…_

Grabbing for the ladle that Jesse had helpfully left next to the drum, Clyde carefully measured out some of the green stuff and lifted it over the cat, which indeed had been laid out on the deck. Where Clyde had gotten a dead cat, Craig didn’t want to know. “With what I have found,” the boy announced. “I shall raise an _army_ of the dead!”

Dramatically, he poured the green goo over the creature, and Craig felt something in him chill as the previously dead cat moaned out a strangled sound before slowly clambering to its paws, fur changing to a green hue. Lifting its paw, the cat yowled and yelled, _“Es wird jetzt keine Gnade geben!”_ in a thick German accent. Though Craig didn’t give a fuck about the Germans, he felt his stomach turn. _God, why on earth does Clyde think this is a good idea?_

Eyes taking on an almost maniacal glow, Clyde put the crown back on his head and sharply advanced on the camera. “I shall raise an entire army of darkness and kill all the Earth!!” From the peanut gallery, Daniel shrugged as if this was unsurprising and not at all concerning, while Chris Donnelly literally mouthed _Finally._ Craig just stared at Clyde in stony silence because fuck, that was a little dramatic.

Shaking some of the mania from his body language, Clyde took a step back and lifted the Stick of Truth once more. “So you see, fools, I control the Stick and the future of the Earth!” The boy was about to continue when a distant voice from the ground interrupted him.

“Clyde, do you want a sandwich??” Clyde’s dad yelled from the ground. Chris put a hand over his mouth, probably to stifle laughter, and Daniel facepalmed gently.

Deflating slightly, Clyde looked over the edge of his tower and called back, “Not now dad, I’m making a Ruler of Darkness video!” After a moment of silence, the boy resumed his previous seriousness and faced the camera once more. “Whoever controls the Stick controls the universe.” Walking forward, he almost grinned as he continued, “And my first deed is that I hereby _denounce_ the Human and the Elf Kingdoms and strip _both_ kings of all their power!!!”

From beside Craig, Chris Donnelly pumped the air with his fist and Jesse bounced on the balls of his heels in silent excitement, actually going so far as to hug the former elven, fifth grader beside him, who just sort of rolled with it. While Daniel only showed his enthusiasm with a smile. Craig wished he could react with the same level of zeal, but everything felt grim. Even the victories.

As Clyde cackled madly, his hands in the air and a triumphant expression on his face, Daniel piloted the drone back to his side and said, “And that’s a wrap. Good show guys.”

Chris Donnelly let out a whoop. “I can’t tell you how _ready_ I am to watch them fall apart. I have been waiting since the beginning of this damn thing, and it’s finally happening months later.” The others shared his sentiment, but Craig just walked over to Clyde, who was breathing heavily and still staring off into the distance with a detached sort of fervor.

“Clyde-” Craig started.

“Did you see that?!” Clyde asked, his voice loud, probably to make up for the unfortunately apparent lack of excitement. “They know how serious I am now! There’s no way they can just ignore that. They’re going to fight back, but it’s not going to work, because we’ve got all their soldiers.”

Craig just nodded, unable to muster even the energy to pretend to be invested. _Except you are invested in this bullshit, don’t lie to yourself._ “Of course we’re going to win dude,” Craig said, watching as the boy walked over to his throne and sit down, obviously pretending to be a king before his typical bounciness got the better of him and he got up again.

“You know, I think they’re going to come here,” Clyde said, his eyes alight. “But that’s alright, because I’ve got my dad calling their parents, so they’ll all have to leave.” Glancing behind him at the other boys, who were still joking around, Clyde told them, “We’re probably going to have to fight them tomorrow, but I know you’re ready for it. We all are!”

The other kids made various levels of agreement, but Craig’s eyes were fixed on Clyde, the exhaustion showing through the boy’s smile. _Well, we’re all tired._ He was about to open his mouth and say something, but then Clyde did it for him by looking his direction and walking towards him. “You guys can handle this for now, right?” he asked brightly. “I bet they’ll be here soon, but don’t worry, we’ve almost got everything together.”

As he passed Craig, the Noirette fell in behind him, silent and tense. He wasn’t sure if it was his own nerves anymore or the overwhelming presence of everyone else’s. Logically he knew that they weren’t all worried about the same things. Most of the other boys were angry, tired, or just bored. They wanted to have one last hurrah before the game was over, but, then there were all of the sixth graders wandering around, they seemed to just be out for blood. And there were the nazi zombies that Clyde kept raising, which Craig _knew_ wasn’t going to turn out well.

What really had him worried was Clyde himself and the mixed emotions that just roiled off of him in waves. There was so much behind the boy that was driving him forward, and yet Craig didn’t know how to help him or even if he had enough energy to try. All he could really do was support him, but he was starting to wonder if even that much might be the wrong answer. _Tweek seemed to think it was._  Tweek cared just as much as he did, no matter how much he wanted to throw his history with Clyde up as proof that he knew better.

_No, I’m not dragging Tweek into this. Clyde and I will figure this shit out, and then everything will be fine._

“Heh, you know I texted Toke about all of this,” Clyde started suddenly, stopping in the middle of the shadowy turret that was the front of his castle. “But he said he was going to stick with Cartman, just not fight. He didn’t really want to be a part of this.”  Well, that sounded like the black boy, definitely. Craig wasn’t going to disagree with someone who wanted no part of the shit that had started.

“Can you blame him dude?” Craig asked, raising an eyebrow at Clyde even though the boy wasn’t looking at him. “It's a crapshoot, no matter how you look at it.”

“We’re going to win,” Clyde instantly returned, stubbornly, almostly like he refused to believe anything else. Letting out a breath, Craig bowed his head and nodded once.

“Yeah, we probably will,” he agreed, crossing his arms because something in him just refused to settle. Keeping his eyes trained on the ground, Craig said, “We have more people than they do, we’re more serious than they are, and we have the Stick. We have to win.”

“We have to,” Clyde echoed, giving lie to the emotions clearly running around in his head. Craig might not have been an expert reader of people like Token was, or a naturally empathetic soul like Bebe, but he knew _Clyde,_ and that was plenty. “We have to beat them Craig, we can’t-” He kept tapping his foot, all that nervous energy looking for somewhere to go. “We can’t lose. Not anymore.”

“What did Bebe say?” Craig asked, his voice flat.

Clyde deflated. “She’s really worried about me,” he mumbled, walking over to the window and looking out over his fortress before leaning back in and hiding just inside the shadow of the eves. “She doesn’t want me getting hurt, or at least, she doesn’t want me getting any more hurt than I already am, but I guess I don’t care anymore. As long as we can be happy on the other side of things, then it’s worth it?”

 _The end justifies the means, after all._ Leaning back against the post in the center of the the room, Craig let out a slow breath and said, “Yeah, it’ll be worth it.” Staring at the ceiling, unwillingly imagining stars there instead of dark wood, Craig muttered, “I get it though, her being worried. Tweek’s worried about me too, I think.” Letting his tired eyes drift, remembering when this haze would have been caused by boredom instead of exhaustion, the Noirette admitted, “He told me to just come home, but I can’t, right?”

“You can when it’s over,” Clyde said quickly, trying and failing to sound upbeat. After a second longer however, he brightened and asked, “Hey, do you think Teacup would want to be part of the faction? I mean, I know he was pretty upset earlier, but it was probably just shock. I’m sure if you of all people asked, he’d join right away!” Looking into Clyde’s puppy-like eyes, Craig felt a knot tie itself with his intestines.

“No,” he said shortly, his tone as clipped and as dead-ended as he could make it. “He’s not going to join.”

Clyde tilted his head. “Well, I bet if we tried we could convince him. I mean, he hates Cartman as much as we do! And he’s super strong, so it’d be nice to have him on our side. Besides, I don’t think he’ll want to fight back against you.” Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Clyde looked outside and admitted, “Well, I don’t think he has a phone, but I could find him tomorrow and convince-”

“No, he’s not joining,” Craig said firmly, his brows drawing together slightly. “Asking him again doesn’t matter, he already asked if he could join, and I told him no.”

Clyde’s expression dropped. “You did?” he asked, shaking his head like he couldn’t understand. “But why would you do that? Teacup’s our friend, he’s _your_ friend, of course he should join! Why on earth would you tell him not to??”

As his own stomach churned, Craig forcefully said, “Because I’m not letting him get into this anymore Clyde, he’s had enough of this fucking game, he doesn’t need to go through any more of it.” He hated putting it like that, he didn’t like making it sound like he didn’t trust Clyde or something, but that was the truth, and he wasn’t sure how else to sugar coat it.

Except Clyde didn’t seem to care about potentially being insulted, no, he was clearly getting upset over something else. “Dude, you can’t just do that!” he burst out, waving his hands emphatically. “You can’t just not let him join because you don’t think he should, that’s uncool Craig, why the heck would you have done something like that? It’s Tweek!”

“Exactly,” Craig said flatly, wishing that Clyde would stop looking at him as if he was a bad person for this. “He’s Tweek fucking Tweak and he’s tired of the game. I’m not going to let him do something like this just because he feels like he has to or some shit.”

“Dude, it’s a fucking _game,”_ Clyde pointed out, his expression hardening. “It’s not life or death Craig, if Teacup wants to join because he wants to support me or fight with you or _I don’t know_ just not be stuck inside, then he should be allowed to play!” He seemed genuinely upset by this, and Craig couldn’t _quite_ work out why. “You don’t get to judge people based on what they’re thinking Craig, especially when it’s over a game.”

“But it’s not just a game anymore shithead,” Craig snapped, his patience wearing thin a whole lot faster than it usually did. “It’s gotten a lot more dangerous than a stupid game! There are fucking _zombies_ wandering around Clyde, what part of that sounds like a game? Cartman and Kyle are going to try and _kill_ us tomorrow. I’m not going to let Tweek near something like this when there are so many ways for things to go wrong and leave him hurt.”

“Guess what Craig?” Clyde spat right back getting in his friend’s face in his fervor. “You don’t get to decide that either! You don’t get to play this game by your rules, shoving Tweek behind you like he needs protection, because he doesn’t! He’s not going to get killed Craig, so just let him have some fun. Just let him fight with you! Don’t send him away because you think you need to keep him safe.”

“I know he can stand up for himself,” Craig attempted to say, leaning back slightly from the angered Clyde.

“No, I don’t think you _do_ Craig!” Clyde snapped, throwing his hands up in the air and turning away. “I don’t think you have a _clue_ that Tweek is something other than a terrified mouse you have to protect. He’s not _yours_ Craig, he’s his own fucking person, and that means he gets to have feelings and thoughts and desires that don’t have to line up with yours!”

“Clyde, no one else gave a _shit_ about him for years!” Craig growled, his monotone growing louder. “And who the fuck are _you_ to tell me what I can and can’t do. I don’t want Tweek to get hurt, I am _not_ going to let him get hurt if I can stop it. This is a shitty ass game Clyde, and I’m not going to watch that happen-!”

 _“-Tell me what you said to him Craig!”_ Clyde all but shouted, his voice cutting through Craig’s. His hands were clenched at his sides and his crown had been knocked askew. “Tell me what you said to him when he came and asked, _tell me what you-”_

“-I TOLD HIM I DIDN’T WANT HIM FIGHTING WITH ME,” Craig yelled, drowning out Clyde’s furious words. “I told him to go _home,_ I told him that I didn’t want him _here._ Because guess what Clyde, I care about him.”

Shaking his head with a distressed and infuriated expression in his eyes, Clyde burst, “You don’t get it Craig, you don’t get it at all! You think that you need to save Tweek? Well let me tell you something! He doesn’t want someone to save him!” Pointing a finger at Craig, eyes blazing, Clyde continued, “Tweek can save himself! And if he can’t, then maybe he gets hurt, and maybe you’re there to help, but you sure as hell can’t tell him that you don’t want to fight with him and then claim that you care.”

Clenching his jaw, Craig took a step back and lifted his chin. Watching him like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing, Clyde’s anger dropped and he plaintively beseeched him with, “Craig, Tweek doesn’t want a superhero. He doesn’t need a perfect angel. He just wants a friend. Sometimes, that’s all someone needs.” Glancing away, Clyde muttered, “Dude, I don’t know if we’re going to win. I’m not- I’m not expecting you or anyone else to be perfect. I’m just glad you’re _here._ I don’t give a shit about game stats Craig, I care that you’re my friend.”

Staring at the boy, forcing himself to listen to what the boy was saying, Craig clenched his fists and glared down at the ground. _Fuck, I really did screw things up with Tweek._ Again. Swearing under his breath, Craig muttered, “Fuck, It’s not my fault that I don’t want to see him hurt. I _know_ he can fight, but not when the odds are stacked against us like this.”

“Sometimes stuff is going to be shit Craig,” Clyde said, his voice still upset, but gentler. “You know that.” Knowing exactly what the boy was talking about, Craig face dropped into a bitter deadpan. “Odds are never good, but- Hell, I don’t know. I’m a kid Craig, I don’t know what the future is going to look like, but dude, sometimes we lose, and that’s okay? Sometimes things fall apart, and we’re going to get hurt, but bruises heal. Other things don’t.”

Realizing Clyde’s words echoed Kenny’s, Craig felt his insides clench. It was one thing to have Kenny say it, but this was something deeper. He could see right through Clyde, right down to where the words were coming from. _His mom died. My parents treat me like shit sometimes. That stuff doesn’t change. It doesn’t get better._ And if he kept doing this to Tweek, then eventually, he was going to lose the blond for good.

“I just want this to be over,” Craig said again, even though he sounded like a broken record. “It’s fucking everything up.”

Sighing, Clyde agreed, “Yeah, I want it to be done too. Then we can deal with everything else, right?”

“Right,” Craig agreed.

From somewhere in the castle, there was a yell of, “They’re coming! Everyone into position!!” And like that, the spell around Clyde and Craig broke. Shaking off the pain that was still on his face, Clyde gave Craig one last look before stepping forward and leaning out over the edge of the small balcony so he could look down at the ground. Taking up position behind him, just out of view, Craig watched as the back door of the boy’s house burst open and several people came rushing out of it.

Letting out a loud laugh, Clyde pulled the Stick of Truth from his belt and waved it at the boys who’d stopped at the base of the castle so they could stare up in horror at his creation. “Come and get it losers!” he shouted, the righteous vindication in his tone almost tangible. Craig had to admit, despite how much he hated this whole thing, the looks of fury on the faces of Cartman and Kyle were a little too good to pass up.

“You can’t do that Clyde!” Cartman yelled back, his voice frustrated and whiny. “You’re lost in space and time, remember??!” _Like that’s going to stop us, fatass,_ Craig thought viciously. He could see Kyle nod along with the boy, clearly all enmity forgotten in the face of a greater enemy. Kenny just smirked, though Craig couldn’t actually see the expression. He didn’t need to, he could feel it.

“No, I’m _not!”_ Clyde fired back, his chin held high and his chest out in fierce defiance.

“Yeah you _are_ asshole!!” Cartman argued.

“Yeah Clyde, give us the Stick of Truth back!” Kyle agreed, his crown lopsided in his anger. “This is total bullshit!!”

“Dude, just stop being a dick,” Stan agreed, crossing his arms.

“If you don’t give it back, we’ll fucking take it back from you!!” Cartman called, his expression ugly. “Don’t think we can’t kick your ass!!”

Clyde just smirked. “Army of Darkness? Defend the fortress!!”

Tipping his chin up, Craig slowly withdrew from the shadows as the other kids in the fortress came out of hiding, quickly making themselves plain along the different balconies and turrets. As the boys at the base of the drawbridge backed up, Craig locked eyes with Cartman and stared at him as if to say _Go on, do it, attack us you sack of shit._

Predictably, Cartman seized on that at once. “Craig??” he demanded, his face going from horrified to furious in seconds. Shaking his fists, the boy yelled, “Craig you’re on my side!!”

Coolly, his voice flat and _definitely not in the slightest bit smug,_ Craig said, “You don’t have any authority over me anymore. The keeper of the Stick’s in charge, and he said I’m on his side.” He wanted to say more, but he held back, attempting to at least look like he didn’t find the whole thing deeply satisfying.

“This can’t be happening,” Kyle said, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe it. His eyes were wide with horror as they caught on Chris Donnelly, who was in the turret beside Craig’s and waving lazily at his former leader.

Growling, Cartman raged, “GODDAMNIT I HAVE FUCKING AUTHORITAY!!!” To which Craig did what he’d been wanting to do for way too long. He proudly flipped Cartman off and stared down at him with all the hatred he’d been keeping pent up for months.

Laughing beside him, Clyde spread his hands and called, “Sorry Warriors and Wizards, I’d _love_ to invite you into my fortress of darkness, but-” He shook his head, waving the Stick about carelessly. “I’m afraid you’re just too late.”

Tilting his head, Stan asked, “Too Late? What’d’ya mean we’re too late?”

From the corner of his mouth, Clyde muttered, “Wait for it… And- Now.”

“There you are Butters!” Abruptly, Butters parents were bursting in through the gate of Clyde’s house, angry expressions on their faces. Pointing at the fearful Paladin, Mr. Stotch snapped, “Do you have _any_ idea what time it is mister?! It is _way_ past your bedtime!!”

“Oh shit, it’s past our bedtimes?!” Stan yelped, his fearful eyes fixing on Kyle, who jumped half a foot backwards.

“Dude!” the redhead yelped as Butters’ parents began to drag their child away and Cartman started to panic. “I’m gonna get it from my mom if I’m late!!” With that, Kyle darted towards the gate, Stan hot on his heels.

“Oh god, _bedtime!!”_ Cartman yelled, shaking his head. “Princess Kenny run! Before they catch you too!” Then he followed his friends, running through the gate as Clyde laughed, a dark, almost malicious cackle as he watched the other boys run off. Naturally, Kenny took the time to give them all a princessly kiss before leaving, but soon, all of the other kids had left the yard, which brought on a wave of excited cheering from all the kids involved.

“We’re going to beat their asses!” Ryan whooped, laughing like mad.

“Did you see the looks on their faces, this is going to be priceless,” Chris crooned delightedly, his voice joined by several others.

“This is going to be awesome!” Clyde announced, turning to Craig. “We’re going to win, I just know it.”

Below, there was a yell of, “Clyde, it’s past your bedtime!”

Pausing in his laughter for long enough to yell, “Yeah, coming dad!” Clyde grinned at Craig and said, “Are you ready for the end?”

“Yeah dude,” Craig said, feeling better despite the situation. “I fucking am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at my bois, so precious, so full of life and the desire for things to be over. It's okay my darlings, it'll be over soon.
> 
> I just want to say, progress for getting this printed is going well. I'm glad that you guys have noticed the issues with copyright, and I'll admit that those are going to be irritating to get around, but we'll get around it! I believe in us. I mean, it's sort of like selling fan art, right? At least, that's how I think of it ;)
> 
> Till next time~


	94. Sweating The Small Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to give a big shout out to Ty, my demon darling and hawt brit on the side, who sat with me while I wrote (like a mother fucker) and helped me through some emotional shit along the way. They're the best, seriously. 
> 
> Also, thank you to my beautiful family, who give the best hugs, hands down. And to Sin, for getting me heavily invested in Michael/Craig.
> 
> AND MY DUDES, THERE IS FAN ART WHOOOOO~
> 
> First, we're going to celebrate the beauty that is SuspendedDemotion and their ability to make me cry with some simple pastels?? Like, hecccc??? it's a picture of Tweek and Craig looking at the sky while Craig points out the constellations, and dude, this kills me. I know that there are no stars, but there's something about it that makes it fit all the more. Their stars are a little dim right now, but someday, they'll be able to look up and see them once more. So yeah, check [it](https://suspendedemotion.tumblr.com/post/172474820406/for-teamalphaqs-semantically-challenged-its) out~
> 
> And the second for today is going to be the adorable as fuck drawing done by NasaCraig. I know they're on the discord, but I have no idea who they are so I'm not going to name any names and chance getting it wrong >.adorableness, I've been blessed.
> 
> Now without further ado
> 
> Enjoy.

It was a certain kind of person who found pacing to be actually helpful instead of just more stressful. Most people pace _because_ _of_ stress, not in an attempt to relieve it. And those who try to relieve it often don’t actually manage to fix a thing. But there are a select few people who can pace, and by pacing calm down.

Tweek knew that Token and Bebe were the types of people who actually got something out of pacing. He’d seen it happen, Token would get something on his mind, he’d walk back and forth for a few minutes, and then he’d sit down and be calm again as if that little bit of movement had helped him work through whatever was going on in his head. Bebe was much the same. When she was really stressed and upset, like she’d been after talking to Clyde, she’d paced for a while, almost like by tiring herself out, she was able to find the wherewithal to calm down.

Unfortunately, Tweek was not one of those people. To him, pacing just made things worse.

Which is why he really shouldn’t have been pacing back and forth frantically at one thirty in the morning, gulping down his fifth thermos of coffee while softly screaming under his breath. He’d been in this state for a while now, caught somewhere between anger, terror, and pain. There was way too much going around in his head for this, far too many things that were making him want to just slam his head into the wall. He couldn’t handle it! He couldn’t take this!!

“AUGH!!!” he screeched, sloshing some of his coffee over his hands yet finding himself unable to care. _“JesusIT’STOOMUCH!!”_ Clacking his teeth together violently, Tweek shook his head and stumbled over the same legos and blocks as he had the last twenty times he’d walked across his room. His chest hurt, he couldn’t breathe right. Was that normal?? Was he going to die? Who cared?! Definitely not him, no, death actually sounded preferable.

 _No! GOD I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!_ Shaking that particularly insidious voice out of his head, only to find another thirteen crowding in behind it, Tweek twitchily gulped down another forth of his thermos and shivered. Oh god, the last two pots he’d drunk had been from his parents coffee, it was making him feel weird, like he couldn’t feel his face. Jesus, he hated this stuff!! But it was better than being alone with his thoughts, which kept threatening to tear him apart.

Craig.

Oh god, no, no he didn’t want to think about the boy, he couldn’t handle this anymore! Getting to the end of his room once more, Tweek let out a screech and banged his head against the wall several times. _JESUS GET OUT OF MY HEAD I CAN’T TAKE THIS!!!_

 _Oh god why won’t my head stop screaming at me?!??_ Stuffing a hand in his mouth, wishing that he’d just calm down already, Tweek bit down hard enough that he felt the pain and whimpered softly, hating himself and the situation and just everyone in general. _No, no I don’t hate everyone. I’m just upset. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t take this._

_Craig._

Staring up at his wall, at the messy scribbles of the clockwork angel he’d hung up above his desk, Tweek felt his chest get tighter. He was so tired of this, of all of the stupid emotions he had in his chest. Craig didn’t care about him, but Tweek cared so _much_ that it hurt. All he’d wanted to do was just be with Craig, by his side, fighting or not it hadn’t mattered anymore. As long as he’d had Craig there, then he’d have been fine, but Craig hadn’t wanted him. He’d thrown Tweek away like he was a nuisance.

_I am a nuisance._

NO HE WASN’T! HE WAS CRAIG’S FRIEND!

_No you’re not, you’re worthless._

Tweek gulped down the rest of his coffee before whimpering and letting it fall from his hands. Staring at the splattered coffee stains that were quickly becoming part of all the other ones all over the floor, Tweek clenched his fists and trembled. After everything, after finally _finally_ figuring everything out with Craig, the Noirette had just throw it aside. Why? Why had he done that??

_BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT ME BECAUSE I’M DISGUSTING!!_

_You know that’s not true._ Flinging his head up, Tweek stared at the image of Craig standing in front of him, crossed arms, eyes cool, chin tilted up, and he felt his own frustration grow.

“RRR- WHY ARE YOU HERE?!” he demanded, glaring at the image of Craig. “JESUS JUST M-MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!! IF YOU D-DON’T WANT ME THEN GO!!!” He didn’t have enough brain power to deal with this, he wanted to scream, no, he already had screamed, but it wasn’t enough! He couldn’t get away from the thoughts and the voices, they were closing in around him, making him feel like he was losing his mind. _I’ve already lost my mind. This is just making it worse._ Breathing heavily, he stared up at the image of Craig before turning around and returning to pacing.

 _Look, I screwed up,_ Craig’s image said flatly, just like the real one would, not that Tweek was at all sure of the difference anymore. _But maybe I was trying to protect you from this shit._ God, even his mental image of Craig wasn’t helping. Tweek wished he could make the mirage go away but it _wouldn't._ He just needed his mind to calm down for a moment, he just needed to think, he needed his thoughts to be something other than disjointed rambling.

“Ghn- b-but you weren’t!” Tweek accused, pointing a shaking finger at Craig’s image. “Y-You just threw me out! Like I didn’t even matter to you! I know I don’t matter Craig, I -ngh- know I’m fucked up and s-stupid and annoying, b-but I can’t take this! It _hurts_ Craig, it really- It really hurts.” Hugging his arms, digging his nails in like he could ground himself if he tried hard enough, he shook his head and mumbled, “N-nevermind.”

 _I don’t care that you’re fucked up,_ Craig’s image insisted obstinately, as if that was what he needed to hear, but Tweek just shrieked under his breath and clenched his arms until his nails bit into his skin.

“STOP SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT!!!” Tweek yelled, spinning on his heels and stumbling over to the other side of his room so he could slam his head into the wall again. “GHA! I HATE THIS I HATE YOU I HATE MYSELF!!!” Trying to make his brain just _stop_ screaming at him for one moment, Tweek pushed out, “YOU’RE NOT REAL! Y-YOU’RE NOT HELPING, YOU’RE JUST- Just repeating w-what he says.” Leaning his head against the wall, Tweek whimpered, “Why couldn’t you have said something like that w-when it mattered?”

_I’m scared that the game is going to hurt you._

Whipping around so he could stare at the apparition of Craig, Tweek twitched hard and squeaked, “But I already got hurt Craig! I already -grrr- got bruised, and b-beaten up, and- and I already got kidnapped by Aliens. And I h-had to watch you date Bebe for a month, which -rrr- was horrible!! But I did it! I’m fine, I d-don’t need you to be worried about me.”

But Craig kept shaking his head, and Tweek felt his insides die just that much more. Biting his lip hard enough to draw blood, he weakly said, “Look at you, y-you’re not even dressed in your game costume.” It was true, Tweek’s image of Craig looked like the boy used to. With that ratty blue hoodie, and his jeans and old sneakers. He looked so tired, and Tweek wished that he’d just go away, because the real Craig didn’t want him, and he was so tired of making excuses for the Noirette.

 _I’m playing because of Clyde,_ Craig’s image said, like that made it alright. _I’m playing because he asked me to. I just don’t want you caught in the crossfire._ And the worst part was that part of Tweek believed it entirely, believed that Craig just was trying to help him, but even if he was, it felt the same. Craig didn’t care enough to know that he couldn’t handle this constant game of not telling him anything. Of putting his feelings aside in favor of _protecting_ him.

_Jesus, how can anyone say they care when this is how they act??_

“Craig I would have played if y-you had just let me,” Tweek whispered, but it was pointless, because he was arguing against a hallucination, not Craig. There would be no fingers in his hair after it was over, there would be no warm arm around his shoulder. There would be no calm blue eyes and deep voice that settled the screaming in his brain. There was just more pain and anger, an intense bitter resentment for how things had gone that he couldn’t get rid of.

_You know how I am._

“N-no I don’t Craig! Otherwise th-this would make sense.” Defeatedly, Tweek slumped to the floor and curled up so he could stare at his open thermos and let that suffocating prickling hurt crawl up his throat and choke him.

After they’d left Clyde’s house, Tweek had gone back to Bebe’s house, where she’d attempted to calm him down while struggling not to cry herself. She’d been terrified for Clyde, and upset that she hadn’t been able to get through to him, but more than anything she’d been furious with herself for not seeing it sooner or doing something the moment she’d found out what happened. Tweek hadn’t been able to make Bebe calm down, because he’d been too busy being miserable himself. And she’d tried to help, but in the end, both of them had been too much of a mess to actually get anywhere.

So after a miserable farewell, Tweek had ended up back here, hiding in his room, where he couldn’t stop running Craig’s words over and over again in his mind while his emotions wreaked havoc on his mind. It wasn’t like the time he’d broken down at Starks’ Pond, no, this was a different type of anger, because he was just so sick of thinking it was getting better only to watch it get worse. That’s what it kept doing, getting worse, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

"Time to go to work, work all night~ Search for underpants, hey~"

“AUGH NOT YOU!!!” At the sound of that particular and horribly familiar song, Tweek stumbled to his feet and stared at the procession of Underpants Gnomes as they walked into his room, all happily going about the business of making him miserable. Jerking violently to the left, Tweek shrieked, “Ngh- H-haven’t I gone through enough tonight!? Oh god, w-why won’t you just leave me alone?!”

The dreaded Underpants Gnomes, his two in the morning torturers that never left him alone. He just wanted them to go away, but they never did, and he couldn’t handle them right now. Especially after dealing with Craig, no, he wasn’t going to put up with this!! They always showed up and stole his underpants and he had enough stress without dealing with them!

“We won’t stop until we have underpants~” they continued to sing in their horrible little voices. “Yum tum yummy tum day!” _No, I can’t handle this!!_

“JESUS JUST STOP!!!” Darting over to the clothing snatchers, Tweek stood in the way of them, causing the little gnomes to look up at him in frustration. They all came up to his shins, but that didn’t stop them from being terrifying. “C-can’t you see I’ve h-had enough!?” Tweek demanded, his overwhelming mental confusion in other areas of his brain somewhat blocking the fear that he usually felt when he faced these creatures.

“Hey, we’re walkin’ here!” one of them yelled, waving him out of the way. “Get out of the way!”

“Yeah kid, this hat’s going straight up your ass if you don’t move!” another yelled, balling up its fists and waving them menacingly.

Frustrated and unable to quite think straight enough to be scared, Tweek snatched up his frying pan, which was on top of his dresser, and waved it at the Underpants Gnomes like a mad man, which he was. “NO I’VE H-HAD ENOUGH!!” Tweek yelped, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I’M MAN AT HIS MOST MAN FEAR ME!!” With a shriek, Tweek lunged forward and almost flattened one of the little creatures.

“Oh Christ, not another one, this is the second asshole tonight!” one of the gnomes complained, quickly dodging out of Tweek’s way as he swung at them again. He’d never fought back against them before, but he was so sick of _everything_ that he no longer cared. “Why won’t they just let us get on with business?”

“B-because you’re stealing my clothing!!” Tweek screeched, swinging madly at the little creatures, who scattered every time he got too close. By a stroke of luck, Tweek managed to hit one of them and send it flying into the wall. “I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!”

“Oh really??” Abruptly, a gnome decked out in little rat skulls and talons stepped forward and reached into one of his bags. “I’m gonna give you one chance to put down the weapon and let us go. You’ve always been a pussy, Tweek, go back to being one!”

“NO!” Tweek yelled right back. In response, the gnome shrugged.

“Well, your call!”

Suddenly, Tweek’s vision went hazy as the gnome threw glittering dust in his face and the world started spinning. Fearfully twitching and whimpering as he desperately tried to figure out what was going on, Tweek stumbled forward and fell flat on his face. There was a collective snickering before one of the gnomes announced, “Well, that’s a wrap! It’ll take him a while to figure it out, we should get out of here.” Then they went back to singing that infernal song.

Picking his head up off the carpet, Tweek watched as several very large gnomes vanished. It took him a second longer to realize why that was so terrifying. _Wait, OH GOD WHEN DID THEY GET SO BIG?!?_ Scrambling to his feet, stumbling around disorientedly, Tweek screeched and stared up at his dresser, which now looked like a towering behemoth. _Oh god, what happened to me??_ Looking down at his body, Tweek felt rather than heard the whimper that escaped him.

Glancing over at him, one of the gnomes called, “You’re our size now, so don’t try any funny business, otherwise we’ll have to stop you."

Then they were gone, vanishing behind Tweek’s dresser.

 _THEY SHRUNK ME!!!_ Tweek’s hands buried in his hair and he let out a scream as he tried to pull what could only be a hallucination from his mind. When he opened his eyes and found that everything was the same, he felt his heart speed up painfully. This couldn’t be happening to him, he couldn’t handle this, not tonight!! _No, I have to do something! I have to get out of here, I have to fix this!! Otherwise I’ll be stuck as a gnome for the rest of my life!_ That thought was enough to drive the whole matter of Craig from his mind entirely.

Steadying himself, Tweek attempted to drag in slow, calming breaths. Clenching his hands in the hem of his shirt, which had also been shrunk, Tweek stared down at the hoodie of Craig’s he was still wearing, and found some small measure of comfort growing in his stomach. Even though he wasn’t sure what was going on with the boy, even though he was upset, it was still Craig, and the thought of the boy was enough to put some starch into his spine.

 _I need to figure out how to fix this._ Twitching, Tweek jerked his head around towards his dresser, knowing what he had to do but still not wanting to do it. _Jesus, if I follow them, they might kill me!!_ But… Did he really have a choice? Shivering, the blond glanced at the fallen thermos, which really looked huge now, and took a deep breath. He didn’t have a weapon, and he didn’t have coffee, but he’d be fine. _If Craig were here, he wouldn’t even bat an eye. He didn’t when it was aliens. So I shouldn’t either._

Glancing around as if worried that someone was going to follow him, Tweek hurried for the dresser, almost tripping over the legos that were scattered throughout his room. Ducking behind the large wooden structure, Tweek caught sight of the hole that was perfectly sized for the gnomes that haunted him, and he let out a shriek. This was terrifying, he didn’t want to follow them! What if his parents looked for him!? What if they pushed his dresser closer to the wall and he never escaped?? What if it was all a trap!!?

 _But I don’t have a choice._ So he ducked forward and wiggled his way into the hole so he could look around. The inside of his walls was dark and musty, but for the lights that had been hung up like little mining lights. In the distance, he could hear singing, which sent a shiver of fear through him that he forced himself to ignore. No, he couldn’t be scared of the little creatures that tormented him. He had to face this, otherwise, he might never get out alive.

 _You can do it._ Turning, Tweek caught sight of Craig leaning against the footboards of the walls, his blue eyes calm. Even though he’d been screaming at the image not five minutes before, Tweek found himself shakily nodding.

“Ngh- I h-haven’t forgiven you!” he felt the need to say, clenching his fists at his sides and shivering as he spoke. “But thank you.”

Craig’s image snorted, then he vanished, leaving Tweek alone once more. Gingerly, worried that he might set off something if he wasn’t careful, Tweek crept forward. It was instantly apparent that the gnomes had set up quite a lot around there to get around, little staircases and lights and everything, showing Tweek a clear path forward. Pretty soon, he was at the ground level of his house, and still traveling downward. He could feel the fear still pulsing just beneath the surface of his skin, but he forced himself to ignore it.

Later would be the time to freak out, now, he needed to think as clearly as possible.

As he traveled underground, the tunnels started to get more sophisticated, coming equipped with railings for carts and other diverging pathways that Tweek could only guessed led to other houses. _I knew it! They’re doing this to everyone!!_ Pressing on, praying that he was going the right way, Tweek kept listening to the sounds of singing that were coming from deeper down. _Why do I keep coming in contact with things like this that have always haunted me. First the aliens now the gnomes!!_

It was almost like he was cursed. The walls that felt like they were closing in around him seemed to agree, their burnished metal gleaming threateningly at him.   _If I don’t get out of this alive, no one’s going to ever find me._

He wondered if anyone would even look.

_I’d notice if you vanished._

Tweek felt something inside him crumble, and he wrapped his arms around his chest tightly, twitching as he did so.

“No, that’s bullshit!!” The voice dragged Tweek out of his own misery. Realizing that he recognized it, the blond hurried forward towards the light that was growing at the end of the tunnel. _They said that I was the second, does that mean-_ “I don’t care about your profit! Let me out of here!”

Skidding to a stop as he made it out into bright, fluorescent light, Tweek almost fell off of the edge of the small cliff as he yelped, as loudly as possible, “KYLE?!”

“Tweek? What the fuck?” The redheaded boy looked like he’d dragged himself out of bed. His pajamas were askew, and his hair, which was usually hidden by his hat, was everywhere, but more importantly, he too was the size of the gnomes and Tweek wanted to shout with relief that he’d found another human. Sure, he usually was terrified of Kyle and didn’t much care to be around him in general, but right now, he had other things to worry about.

Looking around for a way down, noticing as he did so the mountain of underwear in the middle of the room, Tweek scrambled down a ramp all while yelling, “JESUS MAN!! Th-they came and when I fought them they shrunk me!! Do you think that we can change back?? What if we can’t? W-what if we’re stuck like this forever I CAN’T HANDLE THAT IT’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!” Almost careening into Kyle, Tweek stumbled and fell face first at the boy’s feet.

Kyle blinked down at him, as if in confusion. “Um… Hi?” he asked, as if this was indeed what he should be focusing on despite the fact that they were trapped in the underground lair of the Underpants Gnomes. “I thought you were terrified of the Gnomes dude, why are you down here?” He sounded genuinely puzzled, which more than anything brought Tweek’s head up.

Twitching, the blond attempted to wobble to his feet while pushing out, “Rrr- usually I am, but I got upset with them instead and THEY DIDN’T LIKE THAT!!” Yanking on his hair, Tweek whimpered and said, “I can’t b-believe they did this!! What if we never get out?”

Pushing his mass of red curls out of his eyes, looking down at Tweek like he was still mildly suspicious of the fact that he was there, Kyle muttered, “Well, I guess we’re both here for the same reason then. And to answer your question, I end up here about once every month, so yeah, there’s a way out. They know me around here.” He glared at one especially short gnome who was scribbling away on a clipboard. “Don’t think I don’t remember that bullshit you pulled last time Colman.”

“Despite not being included in your constitution, I plead the fifth,” the gnome said, not bothering to look up.

Huffing, Kyle crossed his arms and glanced down at Tweek. “I’m surprised you managed to find your way down here. The first time I got shrunk, I was wandering around for ages.” Shivering, as if it was a bad memory, Kyle seemed to quickly discard it before continuing with, “Then again, you’re Tweek, so I guess that makes sense.”

“Jesus what’s that supposed to mean?!” Tweek squeaked, his eyes wide and horrified.

Kyle gave him a cool look before saying, “Nothing.” Straightening his shirt, as if there was any point, Kyle muttered, “Well, standing around isn’t going to do us any good. We need to find one of those warlocks, get some of the dust, then-” he stopped and shook his head. “You know what, nevermind, come with me if you want to get out of here.” Then he started walking, obviously expecting Tweek to follow.

Recognizing the boy’s usual attitude instantly, Tweek hurried after Kyle, glad that the boy wasn’t actively telling him to go away. The boy acted different when he wasn’t around Stan, a little more quiet, a little more irritable, but generally, he was still Kyle, and under any other circumstances Tweek wouldn’t have followed him anywhere. This was an exception, Tweek decided, flattening himself to the wall of the cave as a cart of underpants trundled past them, definitely it wasn’t something he wanted to do again at any rate.

“So, are you on Clyde’s side?” Kyle asked suddenly, his voice terse and unwelcoming, as if he was actively discouraging an answer. That being said, Tweek felt compelled to give one.

Jerking to the side and letting out an involuntary, “Ggh-” Tweek mumbled, “No, I’m not.” _They kicked me out,_ he almost said, before realizing that to be kicked out, he would have had to have been accepted in the first place. _Craig didn’t want me_ would have been more accurate. _Craig sent me away._

“Good, that whole thing is bullshit,” Kyle said instantly, the issue obviously irritating him. “I mean sure, Cartman’s a dick, and he shouldn’t have banned him, but that’s Cartman’s call, and Clyde shouldn’t be a sore loser. I’m so done with this, I’m ready for this bullshit to be over. Clyde’s a bastard for dragging this out.” After taking a moment to contemplate his words, he tossed a look over his shoulder at Tweek and added, “Sorry, he’s your friend.”

“N-no, it’s fine, I don’t think he should be doing it either,” Tweek said in a small voice. “But that’s not why I’m not -rrr- part of them!” Kyle nodded, almost like he’d expected it. Unsure why he was telling the redhead this, him out of all people, Tweek continued, “Craig wouldn’t let me join.”

Kyle snorted. “Don’t join him then dude, join our side and kick their asses. They’re asking for it, starting a army of darkness.” Shaking his head, the boy darkly spat, “And stripping us of our powers, like who the fuck does that?? That’s totally cheating.”

At the idea of fighting Craig, Tweek felt his stomach turn and he glanced down at his shuffling feet. “I- I don’t know.” Thinking of Clyde’s manic smile, and Craig’s emotionless cruelty, Tweek bit at his lip, wishing that things weren’t so complicated.

“Well, if Craig’s going to be an asshole, then you should be an asshole right back,” Kyle told Tweek, as if that was a solution to anything. Unexpectedly though, Tweek found himself giggling at Kyle’s words. The boy glanced over at him, his face a mask of confusion as if he couldn’t tell what Tweek was doing, but then he seemed to get over it and simply shrugged. “I don’t know Tweek, don’t let me tell you what to do, but don’t let Craig push you around.”

“Ngh- b-but you’ve pushed me around before!” The moment it escaped his mouth, Tweek slapped a hand over his mouth and stared at Kyle with wide fearful eyes. As the two of them stuttered to a stop, Tweek attempted to actively backpedal, only to have Kyle glare at him with those viciously emerald eyes.

“Yeah, I did. What did you do about it?” Shivering Tweek stared at the boy, unable to move. _Nothing,_ was the answer that immediately jumped to his lips, but then he remembered the game, remembered fighting Kyle, whether indirectly or directly, and he remembered how with Craig’s help, he’d become a stronger person. _Oh…_

“I pushed b-back,” Tweek said softly, clenching his fists in an attempt to still some of the twitching.

Kyle’s expression didn’t change much, but he dipped his head in a nod. “Yeah, you did. Dude, there’s a reason Stan and I thought you were stronger than Craig. Don’t be a fucking doormat for him.”

“I’m not!!” Tweek insisted, clenching his fists at Kyle’s words. “That’s not w-what’s going on!” Struggling to put the matter into words, Tweek found himself just dumping out all of the thoughts scrambling about in his head in one, long, messy string. “It’s just -ghn- h-he never tells me what’s going on, and he just lets me find out on my own, and th-that makes me so upset!! But I know h-he’s at least trying to do it for me, but I think that he might hate me, b-because why would he treat me like this if he didn’t?? And all I -rrr- ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS F-FIGHT WITH HIM!!! But he kicked me out, he said he didn’t want me, and it really really hurts, and I don’t know if he hates me or if he’s just trying to protect me b-but…-” Tweek trailed off as he realized that Kyle had already returned to walking down the tunnel.

“That’s not protecting you, that’s being an asshole,” Kyle told Tweek frankly, as if he couldn’t be bothered to make it sound nice. “Which is bullshit, and you shouldn’t put up with that shit.”

Pulling on his hair, hurrying to catch up, Tweek squeaked, “I know that!!” Feeling the messy emotions he was feeling rise up once more, the blond mumbled, “B-but- Oh god, I just want to be friends with him, and he keeps _doing_ things like this and w-what if he doesn’t want to be friends now?? I don’t think I can deal with that!!”

“Guess what Tweek, Stan broke up with Wendy again tonight,” Kyle said, out of the blue. “Guess what, that pissed me off. Do you know why? Because he comes crying to me about it, and he doesn’t listen when I tell him that she’s a pisspoor excuse for a girlfriend. That’s what I’m going to have to deal with tomorrow, while also dealing with Clyde. I didn’t ask for this bullshit, but bullshit seems to just land in my lap.”

“I’m s-sorry?” Tweek asked, unsure what else he was supposed to do. Whatever Kyle had meant to do, the story managed to momentarily distract him from his own problems.

“No, don’t be,” Kyle told him shortly, his tone clipped. Turning down one of the side tunnels they passed, Kyle told Tweek, “Stan can be a shortsighted, idiotic, thick-headed asshole who pretends to be a realist so he can get away with being a mopy shit every time Wendy dumps his ass. And you know what, that pisses me off, but we’re still friends, even though he’s definitely not going to stop what he’s doing and I’m not going to suddenly start enjoying it.”

Tweek watched Kyle as he opened the door of the tunnel, and led them both into a round cave that had six different pathways. “In fact, I promise you that I will probably call him an asshole within the next twenty-four hours at least three times. The first time it happened though, I was an emotional wreck because my best friend was crying and I couldn’t help him, and I was a piece of shit when he got back together with her, because I thought it was unhealthy.” Stopping in front of the fourth path, Kyle added, “I still think it’s unhealthy. But I got over it. It’s not an emotional response anymore.”

Shrugging his shoulders and heading through the archway, Kyle muttered, “Now, that might change, but until it does, I’m just going to get pissed at Stan when it happens, inform him that I don’t like it, then get the fuck over it and be friends with him again.”

“Oh,” Tweek said softly, unsure what he was supposed to do but listen.

“Look, Tweek, what I’m trying to say is that I have no idea what’s going on between you and Craig, other than what you’ve told me,” Kyle said bluntly. “But it doesn’t always have to be something that you take to mean Craig doesn’t give a shit about you. He’s just an asshole sometimes. You’re allowed to be angry with him, and when he apologizes, then it’s over. Maybe being overprotective is something he’s always going to be, maybe you’re always going to have to prove yourself to him. And maybe you can get him to stop. Trust me though, it’s a lot easier to just get upset sometimes and then accept the apology. It can fucking suck, but in the end, he can’t tell you what to do, and you can’t let him be in control of your moods.”

Running a hand through his hair once more, Kyle muttered, “Whatever, let’s just get this over with.”

Numbly following after Kyle, Tweek struggled to process what the boy had told him. One one hand, he wanted to freak out because when was the last time that Kyle had actually talked to him? But what he’d said made sense. It was true, Craig had _always_ had a habit of being protective of Tweek, whether he needed it or not. And usually that was comforting, but sometimes it wasn’t. When he thought back to it, the whole mess at the lake had been bigger, and had needed change, and not just another apology, but this?

 _I don’t think it really matters as much as either of us are making it out to matter. It’s just a game. I can still play if I want, and I can not play if I want too._ Deep down, he knew that Craig didn’t hate him, no matter how much it seemed like he might, and Kyle was right. He was allowed to just be upset with Craig over this, and not everything else. _He’s still my friend. We’re just both really stupid sometimes._

“There it fucking is, I swear, they always subtly change the location just to fuck with me.” Brought back to the present by Kyle’s voice, Tweek backtracked to where the redhead had frozen next to yet another door. After a moment’s fussing with the lock, Kyle muttered, “And this is why I have keys.” The door swung open.

Before Tweek had any time to ask what was going on, he and Kyle were greeted by a circle of gnomes in rat’s skulls, all playing what looked like poker. Glancing up at them, one of the gnomes groaned and said, “Oh come on, who shrunk _him_ again. Jesus, you’d think that you asswipes would learn.”

Another gnome glared over at his companion. “Jerry, I swear to all that is profitable-”

“Look, he tried to hit me with a book again, Frank!” Jerry the gnome protested, holding up his hands. “What did you expect me to do? Whisper him a lullaby and tuck him in?!”

“Well not do this, obviously,” the first gnome groaned. Looking around, he grabbed for his staff and waved it at the two boys. Tweek let out a squeak, and Kyle just stood there, looking bored. “Oh go away, we’re off duty, go bother someone else.”

“Joseph-” Kyle started, his voice just on the edge of threatening.

“Oh Christ, fine!” Heaving himself to his feet, the gnome warlock looked over Tweek and Kyle skeptically and said, “We only care about one thing around here, business. Profit. Profitable business. And staying alive. Don’t hit us, we’re nasty bastards, and we’ll shrink you until we can hit you back. So don’t do this again.”

“Ngh- W-we won’t!!” Tweek yelped, yanking on his hair. Kyle just stared at Joseph impassively before reaching out a hand expectantly.

The Underpants Gnome grumbled. “Yeah yeah, whatever, up yours asshole.” Unstrapping one of his bags from around his shoulders, Joseph tossed it at Kyle. “Keep the extra, just get out of here.”

“Finally,” Kyle muttered, before turning around and marching out of the room, leaving Tweek with nothing to do but follow.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Tweek burst out, “JESUS MAN THAT W-WAS TERRIFYING!!”

“Eh, you get used to it,” Kyle muttered, sourly if Tweek was any judge. “Let’s just get out of here, I’m tired.” Following him, Tweek was almost surprised when the tunnel started to slope upwards, and soon thereafter opened up into the mouth of a small cave, from which moonlight streamed. Walking out of it, Kyle waited for Tweek to follow before opening the bag. Mumbling under his breath, “I hate those bastards,” the boy reached in and grabbed a handful of what looked like garish glitter. Without warning Tweek first, Kyle threw the fistful of dust at him.

It was like the biggest sneeze he’d ever taken, but backwards.

Once he’d finally stopped spinning, Tweek looked up hazily at the sky and twitched until Kyle loomed into his vision. “The ground isn’t comfortable,” Kyle informed Tweek, his expression unchanging.

Catching the boy’s meaning, Tweek stumbled to his feet and brushed off the worst of the debris he’d picked up while Kyle watched, ever impassive. Realizing that he should probably say something because this was Kyle and what if he pissed him off by not saying anything, Tweek pushed out, “Oh Jesus Th- _Thankyou!”_

Kyle just kept staring at him with those unnervingly emerald eyes. After a moment however, he commented, “We’re at the bus stop, you should be able to get home that way.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, but otherwise didn’t put much effort into the instructions.

Nervously, twitching slightly, Tweek took a step back before scurrying off down the road, worried that Kyle might get upset if he didn’t. Just because he knew he could probably fight back didn’t mean he wanted a conflict with the redhead. Before he could get too far however, Kyle called out, “Hey Tweek, want to fight with us tomorrow? The remaining humans and elves are joining together to fight Clyde.”

Rotating on the balls of his feet, Tweek remembered what the boy had said about just getting upset for one specific thing, instead of allowing the petty mistakes to destroy his friendship, and he found himself saying, “Yeah, I will.”

Kyle tipped his head back. “Good.” Then he turned around and walked off, leaving Tweek to hurry home alone, new found resolve churning in his gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dudes, this chapter just cracked me up. I love Kyle so fucking much you have no idea. *Dances around in a circle, excited as fuck* oh man, this stuff is going to get insane, in, like, the best way possible. Are you ready?? I doubt it.
> 
> Just as a warning, possible perspective deviation next chapter, we'll see. ;)


	95. Discretion, the Better Part of Valor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Token

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fam squad decided, popular vote was taken into account. _I just didn't feel like writing about angsty Craig._ So Token.
> 
> Ty, I just wanted to say, I'm here for you. This chapter is for you honey, anything I can do to distract you or make you smile is a worthwhile endeavor in my book.
> 
> Which is why I'm extending a pretty out there challenge to the beautiful artists, writers, and other humans who come here to read. I want pictures/short stories about Kyle, Chris Donnelly, or Damien Thorn. Ty has had a rough week, and they love artwork so flipping much, so if any of you would do art for them, I'd be forever in your debt. I can't do art, I can only write, but I know that there are lots and lots of you out there who have art skills that would make anyone cry, so please!! Draw for my darling, help me cheer them up with some art.
> 
> For every piece I get, that'll be another day in a row I'll post a chapter for ;) I hope that's a sufficient reward~
> 
> Enjoy.

There came a certain point where an individual crossed from the point of logical justification to illogical stubbornness that was quite interesting to observe. It had a term, the Sunk Cost fallacy. It was the tendency to keep putting resources into a losing game simply because so much had been invested in it already and _not_ continuing would feel like a waste.

Token, for all his interest in quantum physics, knew quite a bit about psychology, and therefore found this trend quite interesting to watch. It was his theory, nay, his belief, that this was all that drove the other boys of South Park to continue to play the fantasy game, despite the fact that it was obviously not going anywhere. It was more than simply a case of losing, no, it had all become such a tangled knot of bad choices that no amount of banding together was going to fix it. At this point, they were all going to come out losers.

And yet, as he stood beside Stan and watched the remaining humans filter into Kyle’s backyard, Token understood entirely that there was nothing in heaven or on earth that could stop these boys from fighting till the end. It would have taken a small atomic bomb to make them take a moment to think things through, and even then he was convinced that they would find a way around that one as well.

There was a startling, or perhaps telling, lack of people in front of them. Most everyone had jumped ship, joining Clyde and Craig in their attempt to destroy the Humans and the Elves. The ones left were either too stupid to leave, or too loyal to betray. An overgeneralization perhaps, but an accurate one nonetheless.

Token’s current focus was on Cartman and Kyle, who were sitting next to each other grudgingly in a sort of resigned silence. It seemed like an odd thing to take note of, they were after all, technically friends, but it had been a long time since they hadn’t openly fought. When he’d told Clyde that he was sticking with this side to watch how things went down, he hadn’t been entirely lying, this was certainly more interesting than evil plotting, however evil that plotting might have been.

“I still think that it was a bad idea,” Kyle grumbled to Cartman, crossing his arms. “But I probably would have done the same thing.”

“But how many people actually start their own faction? And then ban us?? Totally cheating,” Cartman muttered in response, shifting his shoulders. “I hope your plan works.”

Token’s eyes drifted away. The whole Clyde situation had been one he’d seen coming for a long time, to be perfectly honest, and he wasn’t surprised in the slightest that it had resulted in this mess. He’d been watching as Clyde slowly pulled further and further away from the game, still wanting to play, but not by Cartman’s rules. There had also been the fact that Clyde had been building his own castle on the side, and you didn’t do things like that unless you were discontent with how things were already going.

Now, that wasn’t to say he _liked_ it, no, he had been quite worried over the fact that his friend had been kicked out, but it had been inevitable, and the game would have to end before things got better.

It sounded potentially ridiculous, but if you stepped back and thought about it, the whole thing made a surprising amount of sense. As long as enough people were playing the game, they’d all be affected. Perhaps by several degrees of separation, but they’d know that their friends were fighting and if not having fun then at least being part of something. Add to that the habit of the human mind to keep at a losing game in the hopes to at least break even, and what you came out with was an inescapable game that could only be finished by someone winning.

Even he was still part of it, no matter how little he was actually playing. Even he couldn’t escape it.

Of course, he had a reason to be here, which did play some part in his remaining.

 _We all have reasons to keep playing,_ Token thought calmly. And most of those reasons were entirely transparent, which was nice, because working with people you could understand was always preferable. Unfortunately, as with every rule, there was an exception.

Token’s brows furrowed as his eyes landed on the gently smirking face of Kenny McCormick. Out of everyone, he was the one person who made Token’s brain itch. Sure, Token could lay a finger on at least _one_ of Kenny’s motives pretty quickly, but Butters aside, the boy had done nothing but draw out the game, and yet now he was trying to end it. _After all, it’s not rocket science to figure out why the Stick went missing. Clyde didn’t take it, Kenny did._ And from there, things got frustratingly complicated.

Since the beginning of the game, Kenny had been stirring things up, playing with the rest of them like they were convenient puppets. Everything, personal motives, relationships, feelings, he’d twisted them and used them to push people into the positions he wanted, and no one had really _noticed._ Well, Token had, but most of the time, he could sort of see that Kenny was _trying_ to make things go the right way, and at least the Princess had possessed the decency to not attempt to control the Cleric. But the principle still stood.

And out of everyone, who were the people who kept getting caught in the crosshairs of Kenny’s schemes? _As if that’s a question anyone’s bothering to ask anymore._ Or at least, it wouldn’t be if anyone had noticed. But as it was, people just kept falling for it, and Token admittedly had grown uneasy with it.

 _I should talk to him._ And he might have, had not Tweek walked in through the gate of the backyard, his eyes wide and scared, and his hands shaking worse than Token had seen in a while. Distracted, he thought, _ah yes, how neatly my points are proven._

“I wonder why he’s not with Craig?” Stan muttered from beside Token, handily detailing the crux of the matter. Because in the end, that was the question. Why would Token stay here, when both Clyde and Craig had left for the other faction, other than because he could stay out of it better this way? It was quite simple.

Humming softly, Token answered, “I think the better question is why he’s playing at all.” Naturally, it was obvious. Tweek was even more stubborn than most, and he and Craig both had the unshakable habit of falling into grooves and not wanting to move from them. It was understandable that Tweek would prefer this, fighting against Craig where he’d at least know what was going on, to hiding at home, terrified that something huge was happening. But it was Tweek’s reasoning that eluded Token for the time being.

Stan gave him a raised brow. “Everyone’s playing right now. We’ve got to, especially after Donovan went and made that video and challenged us like that. He couldn’t just stay home for that.” _Wrong, if Craig was with him, he would stay home in an instant. But Craig is singularly stubborn in doing what he’s convinced himself is right, so there’s no hope of that._ Despite the fact that Stan was wrong, Token didn’t hold it against him. After all, you had to be in possession of every fact before you could truly discern something like motive.

“Clyde’s video had nothing to do with it,” Token corrected, but he didn’t elaborate. Instead he watched as the blond boy shivered before standing up straighter and heading towards a chair at the back of the group. He was nervous, there was no getting around that, but he was _here._ Token had to hand it to Bebe. He’d always suspected that she was brilliant socially as well as academically, and he hadn’t been mistaken.

She’d been the one to text him directly after leaving Clyde’s house, telling him that _someone_ needed to stay with the other side to keep an eye on Tweek. Not only had she correctly predicted that Token would be offered an invitation to Clyde’s army of darkness, she’d also known that Tweek was going to fight, even though he’d already been through hell and back. Bebe was quite impressive in how well she’d judged the situation, and he had to take his proverbial hat off to that.

Watching as Jimmy settled down next to a terse looking fifth grader, and Butters brightly sat down next to Kenny, who was smirking in Cartman and Kyle’s direction, Token decided that in the end, it was probably better that they were here. He had _several_ major moral issues with what Clyde was doing, and he would prefer not to get involved with it. For all of the points he could have made in favor of leaving the game, Tweek in tow, Bebe was right. Better that they were here, in the thick of it, instead of outside and ignorant if things went horribly wrong.

Besides, as he caught Tweek’s gaze and gave the boy a calm, encouraging smile, he decided that putting aside the cold hard logic of it all, Tweek was his friend, and so was Craig, and he might as well help them instead of sitting back and acting above it all. Famously, not a good strategy.

 _Someone’s got to help them out._ Token disliked interfering with things, having only ever seen bad come of it, but at the same time, there came a point where you had to push, otherwise, you were part of the problem. _And when they’re fighting on opposite sides of the same war, there starts to become an issue._

Sensing that things were going to start, or at the very least should start, Token cleared his throat and gave Kyle a _look_ before glancing over at Stan and saying, “Well, I for one hope that this works,” before stepping over towards the end of the front row and taking a seat.

As Cartman heaved himself off of the stage and everyone settled, Kyle looked out over their group, his eyes drawn together. Token marked the places they traveled. To Stan, to Cartman, to Kenny. They landed on Tweek for a moment, just long enough to produce a squeak from the boy, then they moved back to Stan. _The parallels are undeniable,_ Token mused, even as he shifted his brain to something like business. Now was not the time, now was the time to be focusing on the problem at hand.

“Well, let’s get this over with,” Kyle said, clapping his hands together once before straightening his crown. Behind him, the projector he’d set up flicked on, and the boy sent Jimmy an unimpressed look, to which the Bard snickered. “Admittedly, there aren’t a lot of us. It’s… A little depressing.”

 _That’s because no one wants to fight for a losing side._ But to be honest, that’s not what Token saw, what he saw was a group of people who’d been given a reason to be loyal. The ones that had left, those had been the canon fodder that these boys had taken for granted. In addition to a few disillusioned leaders, which to be honest, didn’t surprise Token either.

“But sometimes, we don’t get to have the advantage,” Kyle continued, straightening his back, his robes dully shining in the light. “Sometimes, we have to make our own advantage where there looks like there’s nothing.”

It was interesting, the way that the degradation of the game had brought forth things that previously, Token wouldn’t have ever seen. There was something in the way that the faces of the other kids had hardened that took some stepping back and thinking it through to really appreciate. Just at a quick glance, he could see any number of things to pick out.

Kenny had proven to have grace and extreme intelligence in all circumstances. Cartman had, for all his faults, been a strong leader. Stan still had some breath of optimism around him that most had lost. Kyle looked like he could face anything with determination.

Clyde, for all of the concerns Token had about his methods, had stood up and thrown off his metaphorical bounds. Bebe had entirely adapted to dealing with boys on a daily basis without acting like her other female friends. Craig had surpassed his apathy.

And Tweek? Well, though Token had elected to stay so that he could watch over what happened, he knew that the blond had grown. _Inconsequential things can become huge, if you let them._

As Kyle began pacing, Token decided to focus. “Humans and Elves of Zaron. _Citizens,_ of Zaron, a great evil has descended upon us.” His eyes turned towards the distance, and even though Token didn’t turn his head, he knew what the boy was looking at. “Obviously, we’re facing an Army of Darkness, but I fear that this is actually a whole lot worse than that. We are facing a threat to our entire world, and I’m not going to let that kind of bullshit just happen when I can do something about it.”

While the projector displayed an aerial shot of Clyde’s castle, Kyle said, “This isn’t anything we’ve ever seen before. Clyde’s fortress is four stories tall, and he’s taken most of our warriors. Over fifty, if I’ve done the math right.” The powerpoint slides continued to circle through, showing pictures of the various bits and pieces of the castle.

Cartman snickered, “Man, I tell you Paladin Butters, leave it to Kyle…”

 _And here we see why these two can’t get along._ Instantly, Kyle bristled, his robes actually rustling as he glared daggers at Cartman, who straightened innocently as if nothing had happened. “Do you have something to say, Grand Wizard?” the redhead spat, his tone tightly controlled.

Smirking, Cartman amiably said, “Nothing, I just think it’s kind of funny that Drow Elves in the middle ages could use PowerPoint.”

“Grrr- JESUS!! This is serious!!” Token raised his eyebrows, but didn’t comment on the shriek that had come from Tweek, who was shaking behind him. _All you can think about is Craig, right?_ Well, maybe that wasn’t strictly true, Token was sure that Tweek was worried about Clyde as well, the blond was singularly kind-hearted, but the principle still stood. Tweek always cared more when it had to do with Craig, or rather, he was quicker to get over his own fear in order to stand up for what he thought was the right thing to do.

_Craig, if you were here, you’d be proud._

Clearing his throat, staring at Tweek as if surprised that the boy had chimed in, Kyle nodded and slowly said, “Yes, it is.” Shaking himself out of his own contemplations, Kyle clenched his fists and said, “You guys know that Clyde is attempting to raise an army of darkness! He’s asked the Vamp kids, the first graders, the sixth graders, and most of our friends have joined him.” The boy drew in a breath. “Only our most loyal remain.”

_And here’s where he looks at Stan._

Kyle’s emerald green eyes flickered down towards his Ranger, who nodded once, as if in affirmation.

Another breath. “But you guys, I don’t think that’s the issue we need to think about. Clyde’s dealing with stuff he doesn’t know how to control, and not only is that cheating, but it’s also dangerous.” Extending his hands, his face opening, Kyle insisted, “You saw what he did, he brought back a cat from the dead. It was speaking in German. That’s bad, we can’t let this happen.” His eyes fixed on Cartman. “Which is why we all need to get rid of this stupid Elf and Human feud, and join forces.”

Silence, then-

“Fuck. That.” Cartman glared daggers at Kyle. “I was willing to listen to you Kyle, but we do not team up with fucking _Elves.”_

Lurching forward so he could stare coldly at Cartman, Stan grit out, “Do you have a better idea, oh Grand Wizard _fatass?”_

“After what you guys tried to do to us in the battle of Wormsley Woods?!” A human from the back called. “Do you think we’ll _ever_ trust you Drow Elves?” Tweek let out a shriek at that, no doubt remembering the battle himself.

“Yeah, you tell ‘im,” Butters encouraged, crossing his arms and attempting to look threatening.

“Dude, that was Jason, and he’s not even here anymore!” Stan defended, shifting uncomfortably. “Besides, we apologized for that ages ago!”

“Oh, so we’re apologizing now?” Cartman spat, his voice rising. “So when are you going to apologize for taking the Stick in the middle of the night, huh?? Because that was totally cheating!”

“Says the ones using arcane fire magic after we specifically banned it!” an Elf fired back.

“To be fair, Terry left,” Token pointed out, watching Kyle as his face shifted in frustrated disbelief. _Be a leader Kyle, pull them together._

“Yeah but in principle, you shouldn’t be burning people!” Stan insisted, throwing his arms in the air.

“Join forces my p-paladin ass!” Butters huffed, crossing his arms. “The only good Elf is a dead Elf.”

“Why don’t you s-s-suck my Elven d-dick, Butters,” Jimmy suggested, grinning at him pleasantly as if daring him to retort.

“Excuse you, let’s not be asking anyone to be doing anything of the sort!” Kenny instantly defended, just as Token could have predicted he would. “You Elves have been nothing but trouble since the very beginning!”

“Can we please not?” Kyle attempted, only to be talked over by the other kids.

“Everything you Humans do is underhanded and dirty!” an Elf yelled, provoking protests. “They’re always cheating!”

“Yeah, well at least we’re not filthy Jews!”

“Will you-”

“OH GOD EVERYONE JUST S-STOP TALKING!!” _Funny, the people who step up to the plate when things get bad._ Turning, Token stared at the blond who’d yelled. Tweek was twitching violently, his chair had fallen over behind him, and his hands in the air. On his face, there was a look of wild frustration. _How interesting._ Looking around at the other children, who were without exception staring at him, Tweek promptly yanked on his hair and squeaked, “It doesn’t m-matter if we’re Elves or Humans! This is still really serious!!” before attempting to sit back down on his fallen chair, which inevitably resulted in him falling over backwards.

Blinking at him in apparent confusion for a moment, Kyle quickly regained his composure before saying, “Um, yeah, what Tweek said. The factions are bullshit guys. There are German Zombies that are taking over this place, and I’m not going to let that happen. You saw what that green goo did, you know what’ll happen if it spreads.” Holding out his hands beseechingly, Kyle begged, “We need to stop Clyde now, before there isn’t a Zaron to fight in anymore.”

Drawing back on his frustration, no doubt for Kyle’s benefit, Stan pointed out, “Look, dude, I want to stop them as much as you do, but even if we join up with the Humans, we’re not going to have enough people. I told you, this isn’t going to work.”

“Yeah, even with the Goths, we don’t exactly have enough people,” Cartman agreed, crossing his arms. “This is a pretty stupid plan.” Which was a good point, and one that Token had expected them to bring up, but it was also one that he knew had a solution. _But you already know that Kyle, you’re a lot smarter than you or your friends give you credit for._ Then again, sometimes, you needed to hear someone else say it aloud.

Giving Kyle a calculating look, Token waited a beat before saying, “I say we recruit other factions to make up for that deficit, otherwise, we’ll never win.” His words brought on a wave of uncertain murmuring, which made the rich boy roll his eyes. It was like they’d never teamed up with anyone, but people could be remarkably cautious when it was the most inconvenient.

“Yeah!” Kyle agreed, quickly latching onto the idea. “We can recrute the Federation, and the Pirates, and… and-” He gave Stan a look before yanking his head up firmly and saying, “And the girls.”

“The girls?” Butters yelped. “B-but we already tried that, an’ you know how badly that turned out!”

“Kyle, the girls are not going to fucking play with us after last time,” Cartman said, his mouth slightly open, as if in dumbfounded shock.

“I don’t think we can convince the girls to do this one, dude,” Stan admitted, sounding defeated. “You know how it is with them, and with Wendy.” Just from the way he said the name, Token instantly was able to put together a picture of what he was looking at. _Ah, so he broke up with her again. It figures. Eventually, he’s going to figure it out. Until then though…_

“It sounds t-t-to me like a pretty l-l-l- A p-pretty lost cause,” Jimmy commented earnestly. _Ah yes, on the surface, it does seem like that. But naturally, once in possession of all the facts-_

“Ngh- I-I think I can.”

 _-you will realize that not all is as it seems._ Token smiled slightly, and Kyle’s eyes widened as he regarded the blond, who’s shivering was almost audible. Nervously, Tweek continued, “I mean Jesus! Idon’twanttogoalone!!! But I think I could -rrr-convince them, if you gave me a chance!” Which was of course, in Token’s best estimation, entirely true.

“Well, I mean they kind of do talk to him,” Cartman admitted, shrugging.

“They do indeed!” Kenny exclaimed, clapping his gloved hands together. “Which is why Tweekers and Butterfly should both go and explain to them our dire need of assistance together~ I’m sure that together, they could just _charm_ the girls in an instant.” _Interesting that you wouldn’t go with Tweek yourself, after all, you take such an interest in him._ That, out of everything, stood out to Token.

But none of the other boys seemed to think a thing of it. “Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Kyle admitted, nodding along. “Stan, you can recruit the pirates, right? And Jimmy and Scott, I’m pretty sure you two can convince the federation to join. The rest of us will continue to prepare, because whoever we can or can’t get, there’s going to be a war tonight, and for the sake of the _world_ we have to win.”

After a moment of silence, Kenny giggled and purred, “I’d say Huzzah to that~”

Emboldened, the other boys let out similar cries of determination, before everyone started to get up and disperse. Unsurprised when Tweek hurried over to him, Token watched as the boy twitched and shifted back and forth on his feet before yelping, “Y-you didn’t join Clyde!”

“And Craig stopped you,” Token returned, watching the blond’s reactions carefully. There was a flash of upset frustration, but then it turned to anger, before melting into resolve. _Interesting._ It wasn’t _precisely_ the result he’d expected, but perhaps he too wasn’t in possession of all the facts.

“Yeah, but -rrr- we’re going to stop him and Clyde,” Tweek said firmly, his small, band aid covered fingers clenching around his belt. “We have to, th-they’re our friends! We can’t let them do s-stupid things.”

 _Once he figures things out, he sees more clearly than most._ Humming softly, Token said, “Craig often does things like this. He likes simplicity. I doubt he’s ever had so many reasons for doing anything, and I doubt he’s ever been this _confused._ ” Catching sight of Butters hurrying over to them, Token finished with, “Let’s hope he doesn’t stay lost.”

“Hey fellas!” Butters burbled happily, his face breaking out into a wide grin. “Y’ready t’get goin’ Tweek? We’re gonna find those girls, and I’ll bet they’ll help if _you_ ask really nicely! They seem t’like you an’ all~” He seemed so genuinely delighted by this that Tweek was distracted, allowing Token’s own attention to switch gears.

Over Tweek’s shoulder, Kenny was smirking at them.

_Always tugging the strings, isn’t he?_

Well, Token was going to tug back.

Offering Tweek a smile, Token said, “I’m sure you’ll do fine Tweek, Bebe will be there, and the others aren’t that bad.” Leaving it at that, the rich boy walked around the pair of blonds and headed for Kenny, who’s smirk widened into an unladylike grin. Pushing his own face into an unimpressed mask, Token stopped in front of the boy, who batted his eyes innocently, even though he was still smiling like a cat that had gotten the cream.

“Ah, our _wonderful_ Cleric,” Kenny trilled, his hands fluttering. “Isn’t this all so _exciting,_ I can hardly stand it. Can you?” Rather than rankle at the obvious bullshit, Token lifted an eyebrow before smoothing his features. He’d found that such expressions typically didn’t give people anything to latch onto.

“It’d be a shame if it all crumbled,” Token agreed impassively, his eyes carefully watching Kenny’s. The boy’s smirk dropped slightly, replaced by a more tamed, demure smile. His blue eyes however glittered dangerously, tauntingly, Token might have said.

“You know, Token, I’ve always found it interesting how these things go,” Kenny commented, his eyes drifting towards Tweek and Butters. “They say cities crumble and fall but love never ends, so it’s amazing how people make their own cities of lies so quickly and ignore the other piece of that saying, almost like it’s frightening.”

“Ironic that _you_ of all people would be saying that, Kenny,” Token responded, recognizing the boy’s attempts at misdirection at once. At Token’s statement, Kenny gave him a sharp look, and a little more of that light attempt at laziness evaporated. _Hm… Interesting._

“Are you accusing me of lying to you?” Kenny asked, his voice a humming purr.

 _So he is. It figures._ Rather than speaking, Token simply stared at Kenny, judging his nervousness versus his irritation, before moving on. “I’m surprised the Elves and the Humans are getting along,” he said, his voice just short of conversational.

“Not really, it was a petty feud,” Kenny said at once, waving his hand dismissively. The smirk crawled its way back into his eyes. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Without directly answering the question, Token instead said, “Even on the other side, they’re getting along. Funny that _these_ are the lines we’ve drawn.” Because it was, after all the fighting, the true dichotomy had been between those who just wanted to have fun, and those who’d wanted a war. _And over all of them, you’re the princess, aren’t you?_ In the end though, maybe Kyle and Cartman really had won, because there was going to be a war and there wasn’t exactly an easy way out of it.

“Why didn’t you join Clyde?” Kenny asked bluntly, his words as sharp as his eyes.

“Why haven’t you,” Token returned.

Both of them stared at each other for a moment, before Kenny chuckled and dropped his princess voice entirely. “Looks like we both have our reasons, don’t we?”

“Slightly different ones, yes,” Token agreed, snorting softly.

“You know Token, that’s your problem, isn’t it,” Kenny mused, his eyes drifting. “Here we both are, tired of all the _bullshit_ and yet one of us is having fun, and the other isn’t.” He shot Token a sidelong look that spoke volumes. “You tell me who is who.”

 _And finally, we get somewhere._ “Knowing doesn’t necessarily mean you have to _do,”_ Token told Kenny, keeping the reproach from his voice. _I know a lot of things Kenny, but I think even you would be upset if I acted on just_ half _of them._

“And sometimes you can watch a play, rather than torch the script and direct it yourself,” Kenny pushed back, crossing his arms almost like Token was irritating him. “I can’t begin to say what you think of me, but I can imagine. I only ever hit the first domino, everything else just falls into place for me. You might want to try it some time.”

 _Maybe you should try not putting your hands into everything._ But… discretion was the better part of valor, and Token knew that Kenny wasn’t really talking to him anymore, just talking at him. So rather than argue, he simply glanced over at Butters and said, “You don’t _need_ to impress anyone.” Holding back the _I think you might be able to sleep with yourself better if you did,_ Token caught the frozen expression on Kenny’s face. _Cruel, perhaps, but you’re not the only one who knows how to play chess Kenny._

Giving the boy a quick nod, Token said, “I hope that this battle goes well, Lady McCormick.” Then he walked away, thoughts shuffling and reordering as he watched Kyle turn away from Stan and instead look after Tweek with an almost understanding expression on his face.

Needless to say, he had a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws shit* Fuckin' love Token. UGH
> 
> To the family, thank you for everything.
> 
> To Ty, we are with you darling, never ever think that you're alone, not even for a second. We're only a couple words away~


	96. You're the One That Holds me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWOW  
> Finally, getting around to the gift chapters. So, we're going to have four of them in a row. Sadly, my tumblr is acting up, so we'll see how long it takes me to link them ;;w;;
> 
> Yup, here's the link you're looking for to some [fucking awesome artwork](http://appleminer.tumblr.com/post/172697863970/some-colored-sketches) I hope you enjoy it as much as I did~
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Apple's beautiful drawing of Damien that she did for Ty, my darling sweetheart. I'm very very happy that she did it, because it's fabulous~
> 
> So yeah, Kyle's perspective.
> 
> Enjoy.

To say Kyle was tired of the game would be a lie.

Over the months, he’d grown to dearly love it, no matter how pissed it could make him. He got to spend time around his super best friend, and he got to constantly fight Cartman without having to deal with a fallout. This new development, Clyde stealing the Stick of Truth and stripping the rest of them of their titles wasn’t some sort of final straw. But it was a new perspective that he’d never thought of before.

So perhaps what he was actually tired of was everyone else being tired of it.

In that respect, the game was crumbling, and he’d sort of accept that it was time for it to die, but letting it end with Clyde winning just sort of felt like bullshit. Or at least, him winning without them fighting back felt like bullshit, which Kyle wasn’t about to put up with. Too much of the world ran on bullshit, and this was just one layer of crap too many.

In the end, it wasn’t even this situation that had him upset, no Kyle was pissed for an entirely different reason, but it was nice to have something to take that frustration out on.

“You know I don’t want to face her.”

_Yep, there’s the bullshit._

Stepping past Stan without looking at him, Kyle flatly said, “Dude, you’ll get over it.” _Wow, cold much?_ Well sue him, Stan did this all the fucking time, he needed to either get over himself, or stop complaining about it. Part of Kyle really did care, it was _Stan_ of course he cared that he was upset. Even if it _was_ over Wendy breaking up with him, he wasn’t entirely heartless. But there came a point where it got to be too much, and this was that moment.

No, actually, the moment had been the night before when he’d thrown a book at one of the underpants gnomes and they’d shrunk him. Strangely enough though, talking to Tweek -of all fucking people- had made it better, but not better _enough_ to deal with more of it. Right now, he just didn’t want to focus on it. Stan could be pretty awesome sometimes, and others-

“But it’s _Wendy,_ dude, I love her.”

-he could be insufferable. Turning, Kyle said, “Look, I know that Stan, but try to think of the bigger picture, please.” The redhead would probably never be sure why this in particular got to him, but it did. He’d gotten over his hatred of Wendy and the way she treated Stan, hell, he tolerated it, but whenever she broke up with him, he wanted to throw something at one or both of them. Or perhaps more accurately, he wanted to hit himself with something, because he wished that they’d stay broken up. Then he wouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit anymore.

Unfair? Potentially. Did he care? No.

Stan crossed his arms. “I know, we have to save the world. We _always_ have to save the world dude. But why do we have to drag her into it? What if she gets hurt?” It was amazing how quick Stan could go from frustratingly logical to horribly emotional when Wendy became involved. It was, in Kyle’s mind, sickening. And also kind of bullshit.

“I’m dragging my brother into this, don’t pretend like you’re the only one who might lose something,” Kyle said, coldly, glaring at his super best friend in annoyance. Which was true, that was the plan. While Cartman had vanished off with Token to recruit the Federation, otherwise known as the largest group of nerds in their school, Kyle had tasked himself and Stan with getting the pirates, who were headed by his own brother Ike. It was necessary, mostly because Kyle figured if he didn’t, he’d chance watching them join Clyde, and that was _not_ going to happen.

As the boy before him pulled a face, Kyle’s mouth tightened into a line. _Out of all the bullshit in the world, it’s annoying that his stinks worse than the rest of it._ “Look, don’t be a bitch about it, once we get the Stick back, you won’t have to see her anymore.” He wanted to say _it’ll all be over,_ but he couldn’t be sure about that, so he held his tongue.

Kyle wasn’t stupid, and he knew the way the wind was pointed. This was going to be over sooner than later.

“Yeah, alright, whatever,” Stan muttered, which was enough for Kyle. Turning around, the boy started forward and almost ran into Kenny, who giggled in a most lady-like way at the flustered look on Kyle’s face.

“What’s this about Wendy?” the boy tittered, like he didn’t already know. Wrinkling his nose at Kenny, Kyle rolled his shoulders and tipped his chin up.

“Nothing,” he answered, his eyes narrowed. Kenny only smirked, which was irritating. He hated the feeling like the boy was always attempting to get one step ahead of them, he missed the idiotic blond who’d simply took whatever the world threw at him with an easy grin. The game had changed him, or perhaps, it just let Kyle see what was already there.

Kenny, naturally, knew nothing of Kyle’s thoughts, and simply gasped. “Don’t tell me that she broke up with Stan again~ It’s almost like it’s a _bad_ _relationship.”_ Well, at least they could agree on one thing.

“Shut up, it’s none of your business Kenny,” Stan pushed out, the glare evident in his words. Mimicking it, Kyle stared at Kenny irritation. _This is such bullshit, we have things we actually have to do, he’s just slowing us down._

Unexpectedly, Kenny’s princess attitude dropped. “I’m your friend, Stan,” the boy said plainly, his glittering blue eyes softening somewhat. Despite the lace and the glitter, Kyle could very easily see the boy beneath, and it instilled in him the savage wish that they could just go back to being friends, however disfunctional the friendship could be. “Of course it’s my fucking business.” Then the princess attitude returned, and Kenny sing-songed, “You’re so _silly,_ both of you, it’s a wonder the Elves survived as long as they did~”

“Don’t you have something to do?” Kyle asked, disgruntled. _Make up your fucking mind Kenny, either be our friend, or be a princess, please stop trying to be both._

With a giggle and a wink, Kenny said, “Oh, _always,”_ before waltzing away, leaving Kyle uncomfortable and peeved overall. At least, he decided, they weren’t talking about Wendy anymore. That was a relief.

“Where do you think he’s going?” Stan asked, as they both watched Kenny disappear through the gate.

Kyle scoffed. “Probably to do something irritating. It’s Kenny, what do you expect?” Discarding the matter entirely, deciding that he didn’t care enough to stop the Princess, Kyle turned towards Stan and said, “Let’s just get this over with.”

Nodding, Stan fell into step beside Kyle, his brows still furrowed, but his mind apparently satisfied with Kyle’s dismissal. Feeling the boy brush up against his shoulder, Kyle chest expanded, and for the first time that afternoon he was able to take a deep, calming breath. No, things weren’t alright, but they would be. Stan was there, and with his friend beside him, there wasn’t much that could go horribly wrong.

“So what do you think about the green goo?” Stan asked as they walked down the street, headed towards the train tracks. “I mean, it came from the taco bell, but dude, it’s turning people into nazi zombies.”

Brows furrowing, Kyle felt a knot of frustration well up in his stomach. “I don’t like it, it _stinks,_ but I don’t know what to do about it. If we don’t defeat Clyde, then we might end up overrun.”

“Remember nice and boring?” Stan asked, his eyebrows raising and a slight smirk coming over his face. Snorting, Kyle shook his head, running his fingers through the curls escaping from under his green trapper’s hat.

“No Stan, I actually don’t. I don’t think we’ve ever had nice and boring before.” Chuckling, the redhead tugged on a few strands of his own hair and was unsurprised when Stan nudged his arm with his shoulder, drawing out another laugh. “Dude, one of my earliest memories is of Santa Claus fighting Jesus. Have we ever been normal?”

Stan shook his head, a smile pulling at his tired face. “Nah, but it’d be boring if we were. We’d all be like Craig.”

Pulling a face at that, Kyle chuckled. “Eh, him and Tweek aren’t all that bad. Tweek’s actually pretty interesting once you start talking to him.” Thinking back to his conversation with the twitchy blond the night before, Kyle found himself smiling. When Stan gave him a sceptical look, Kyle insisted, “No, Stan, I know it sounds crazy, but I can understand why Craig hangs out around him.”

Shaking his head, Stan plainly said, “I think he’s insane, but…” He shrugged as they turned down the train tracks and started heading for the park. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing.” Kyle had to agree, especially when it came to this. If they could use that wild nature to their advantage, then he was going to make sure that they did.

“We’ll beat them Stan,” Kyle promised, his eyes carefully scanning their surroundings as they got closer to the park. “Clyde’s full of bullshit, and I’m sick and tired of those assholes pretending like they know everything.” His words earned him a smile from Stan and a burst of resolve in himself. Sure, the world was a shitty place, but if they kept fighting, maybe they’d be able to beat it back.

He had to believe. If not in the other kids, then in himself and in Stan.

As the two of them approached the park, where Kyle _knew_ his brother would be, Stan asked, “So… Do you think Ike’s going to actually very helpful?” Raising an eyebrow at the boy, who clearly didn’t know his brother if he was actually asking that question, Kyle went back to trying to find the six year old.

“We’ll just have to see, won’t we?” Kyle said vaguely, furrowing his brows at the distinctive lack of first graders. Usually, his brother and the others who played pirates with him were pretty easy to spot, but right now, the park was eerily silent. There was no one there, just a general heavy silence to the air, almost like they were waiting for something. Almost like-

“HYAH YER TRESPASSING HERE!!!” Suddenly Kyle was throwing up his staff in an attempt to knock the two small children who’d suddenly leapt out at him off of him. Catching sight of their pirate’s swords and getup, Kyle backed up, looking for his brother.

“Wait! We’re not trespassing, we’re here to speak to Ike!” Kyle insisted, even as he watched another two kids come out from the bushes, surrounding Stan, who was holding his sword in confusion like he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to hit them or not.

“Oh yeah, like we’re going to believe that!” Aaron piped up, brandishing his cutlass and giving Kyle a fierce glare. “You’re here to steal out treasure!”

“What, no!” Stan insisted, dodging out of the way of a girl Kyle vaguely recognized as Sally, who swiped at his shins with her bat. “We don’t care about your treasure! We just want to talk to Kyle’s broth- OW! What was that for?!”

“You aren’t here to speak to him, you’re lying!” a kindergartener squeaked, tipping his head back so he could glare at Stan, who was clutching at his knee, which had just been hit with a dirty piece of wood. “We’ll make you walk the plank for your insolence!”

“How do you guys even know words like insolence?!” Kyle demanded, exasperated. “Look, we just want to talk to my brother. He’ll understand what it’s about. We need to ask for help!”

“A likely story!” a boy called out.

“Through them in the brig!” Sally cried, her blond hair waving wildly.

“No,” Stan tried again. “Will you just-”

“Silence! Stop it, all of you!” At the sound of that familiar voice, all eyes turned upwards and the other pirates stood at attention. Slowly, from the top of the slide, a dirty faced girl appeared. Zipping down the slide quickly, she drew her sword and approached Kyle and Stan, who turned to face her. “I know you two,” she said, her eyes narrowed. “Kyle and Stan.” Looking at the other kids, she said, “They’re idiots, but Ken says they’re alright.”

Looking down at the girl, Kyle took a breath and attempted for a smile. “Karen McCormick, I haven’t seen you around in a while. How’ve you been?”

Karen raised an eyebrow. “I’ve been staying out of your weird games.” As the other kids formed a sort of guard around Kyle and Stan but otherwise returned to a more peaceful state, the girl continued, “You’re still playing that fantasy game. My brother keeps coming home with bruises all over him because of it.” Her eyes narrowed and she pointed her sword at Kyle’s throat, causing him to lean back slightly to keep it in view. “You better not have caused any of them. I don’t care that you are Ike’s brother, I’ll hurt you.”

“Nope, not my fault,” Kyle attempted to reassure the girl, glancing over to Stan who seemed helpless to assist. He just kept giving Kyle a look like _it’s a kid, what do you want me to do?_ “I mean, at least not directly, maybe indirectly, but-”

“Come on Kare, you know your brother no matter what happened,” a different, saucy voice called from the top of the playground. “You could put him in a room by himself, and he’d still end up black and blue.”

“Oh shut up Rubes,” Karen muttered, rolling her eyes. “It’s not as if _your_ brother is much better. Craig’s always getting hurt.”

“No, that’s not true, my brother’s just an asshole,” Ruby Tucker informed her friend, sliding down the fireman’s pole so she could look over the two fourth graders who’d decided to show up. “So why the hell are they here?” she asked, tossing her strawberry blond hair over her shoulder and giving Karen a skeptical look.

The youngest McCormick shrugged. “Beats me. They said they wanted to talk to Ike.” Her voice lowered, and she muttered, “But I doubt it. When do _they_ ever want to play with any of us.” Several of the other kids nodded and crossed their arms, clearly in agreement with Karen. Feeling more than a little nervous, Kyle quickly shook his head, only to get a glare from the two girls.

“Look, it’s serious, alright, otherwise we wouldn’t be here!” he attempted to insist, his eyes wide. All he got in response was a grotesque face from Karen and an eyeroll from Ruby. “Hey, it’s my brother, I should get to talk to him if I want to!” the redhead pushed back, frustrated. “Come on, just let me talk to him, I know I’ll be able to convince him.”

Tipping her head up, Ruby gave Kyle a long look before clearly saying, “My brother wasn’t even on your side Kyle, why would I want to be on your side either? Karen’s brother is the Princess for the other team. You don’t have any leg to stand on here.”

“Look, both sides got dissolved,” Stan suddenly snapped, crossing his arms and staring down at the girls, clearly unwilling to be cowed by a couple of children, even if he wasn’t prepared to hit them. “Another kid made it so there were no more Elves and Humans, so we all joined together. Karen, your brother _is_ on our side right now, and Ruby, your brother is a traitor.”

For some reason, Kyle expected Ruby to attack Stan for talking about Craig like that, but the girl just shrugged her shoulders and said, “Well, I always knew my brother was a fucking idiot.” Kyle cringed at that kind of language coming out of Ruby’s mouth, but otherwise, he was glad that they weren’t being murdered.

“Come on Rubes, at least you didn’t get any of the stupid genes,” Karen consoled, patting her taller friend’s arm. Glancing over at Stan and Kyle carefully, the Pirate said, “As for your game, it sucks to suck, but we don’t have to help you with any of it.” Sticking her tongue out, she said, “Come on Ruby, let’s let our crew deal with them, we should-”

“Don’t use that bullshit on me, there’s going to be a war!” At Kyle’s exclamation, both of the girls turned back towards him slowly. “You guys don’t get it, Filmore and his crew have already joined the other side. They’re going to bring down all of South Park, we _need_ help.” He hated acting like this, but if that’s what it took to get their attention, then he’d do it.

“Filmore?” Ruby asked, her eyebrows going up.

Karen’s hands tightened into fists and she gave a grim sort of grin. “Oh, what I wouldn’t give to beat that little shit’s face in with a-”

“Calm down Kare, you don’t want to become like Kev after all,” Ruby reminded her, unruffling the girl’s feathers somewhat. “He’s only _mostly_ a dick to Ike, and there are much more legal ways to make someone’s life miserable.”

“Pfft, you sound like my brother,” the girl giggled, earning herself a grin from Ruby. Eyeing Kyle, Karen finally said, “If it’s true and Filmore’s band of pirates joined the other side, then I guess you’ll have to talk to Ike.”

“Try anything funny and we’ll feed you to the sharks,” Ruby warned, before beckoning the other Pirates and saying, “Come on, let’s lead these two assholes to the Pirate king.” With various shouts that sounded vaguely pirate-like, the other kids quickly complied.

As they were herded towards the playground, Stan leaned over and muttered, “Dang, I didn’t realize your brother ran his own gang.”

“Neither did I,” Kyle admitted from the side of his mouth, glad that he and Stan hadn’t been separated. It was a little thing, but at least this way he could make sure his brother’s friends didn’t try anything stupid.

“I guess power just runs in the family,” Stan murmured, his voice slightly mocking, but also a little something else that made Kyle shiver and elbow the boy in the stomach, which made him cough on a laugh. “You can’t deny it’s true Kyle,” he insisted, wiggling his eyebrows. “You two are just made to be-”

“There are children around you bastard!” Kyle snapped, his face going red in frustrated embarrassment because of course Stan would say shit like that.

Like the asshole he could be, Stan pulled an entirely innocent face and said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I do,” Karen answered, not missing a beat. “Kenny leaves all kinds of books around in his room. I don’t know if he ever reads them, but I definitely do.” Turning redder at that uncomfortable idea, Kyle stared in alarm at Karen, whose expression hadn’t changed a bit. _What the fuck Kenny, is this really the kind of bullshit that you let your sister see?_

“Look, as long as they don’t start stepping on people, I’m not going to stop them,” Ruby said, straight faced. As Kyle choked and Stan let out a laugh that earned him a swat from the crimson-faced Elven king, Ruby gave them a weird look and asked, “What?”

“Ignore them Rubes, they’re just too innocent for this world,” Karen told her friend, linking arms with the girl and pulling her ahead. “I hope you two remember to mind your manners, Ike doesn’t have any patience for idiots, even if they are in the shape of his own brother.”  Kyle rolled his eyes, but he had to admit, he didn’t doubt her for a second.

“We’ll mind them, as long as he minds his,” Kyle commented his tone blase as he was pushed to climb up the back steps of the playground. “If he doesn’t, I’ll tell Mom, and then he’ll really get it.”

“Aww come on Kyle, that’s not fair!” At the sound of his brother’s voice, Kyle’s head came up and he found Ike grinning from ear to ear. His pirate hat was askew on his head, and his sword was stuck through a loop of his belt, obviously entirely at ease with the situation. “But you’re not actually going to tell mom, because that would be mean.”

“We caught them trying to find you,” Karen told Ike, her arms crossing and her head tipping up so she could smile at the boy. Ike returned the look, his eyes lighting up brightly as he grinned at Ruby and Karen. “I’m still cool with killing them if-”

“No Kare-bear, it’s just Kyle, he’s fine,” Ike said easily, leaning against the mast of the pirate ship and lacing his fingers behind his head. “So big brother, what brings you to the dread pirate Maplebeard’s Hideout?”

Ike was, by birth, Canadian, but other than his big, clear eyes, which were just a little too guileless to be American, and his floppy black hair which looked nothing like the rest of the family, you wouldn’t have known it. For as long as he could remember, Kyle and Ike had always gotten along, which was a blessing because the boy was an admitted genius, and the redhead wouldn’t have wanted to spend all his mental power circumventing his own brother. As it was, he felt a little out of his depth as he dusted off his robe and stared at the little first graders surrounding them.

“Look, Ike, we need help,” Kyle admitted, clenching his hand around his staff and staring at his little brother, trying to convey how serious the situation was. “There’s a lot of stuff going on around South Park, and we need to stop it, but we don’t have enough people to do it alone. We _need_ you guys.”

“The message in a bottle from the Valkyrie fleet said something different!” A little brunette girl piped up, crossing her arms. “They said that you were asking them as well to help, why do we need to help you as well?”

At the mention of the Valkyries, Stan stiffened, and Kyle grit his teeth together hard enough that they creaked. Narrowing her eyes, Ruby swiftly moved closer to Ike and whispered something in his ear, which made him nod slowly, crossing his arms. “You’ve got a point there Rupy.”

“Of course I do,” Ruby said, blowing a bubble with her gum and letting it pop loudly.

“What?” Kyle asked, irritated.

“Look, big brother,” Ike said, his eyebrows furrowing. “I’d love to help, but it looks like you’re going to have plenty of people on your side without me.”

“But wait, Filmore-” Stan attempted, before he was cut off by a laugh from Ike.

“Oh, he’s horrible alright, but you guys always go and do stupid things and save the world anyway, why do we have to help?” Ike asked, puffing out his cheeks before letting out a long breath. “It kind of doesn’t sound that fun. And besides, I don’t want any of my crew to get hurt.”

“Yeah, looks like we’re going to sit this one out,” Karen said, moving so she stood at Ike’s other side, the perfect show of solidarity. “Tell Ken to not rip his dress, he’s a pretty Princess, but he’s going to rub all the glitter off.”

“Don't beat Craig up too badly,” Ruby insisted. “He needs to be reminded that the world isn't all misery sometimes.”

“You guys are so full of bullshit!” Kyle exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air, frustrated. “We’re just asking for this one _little_ thing. Even the Goths are playing now!! How on earth are pirates acting weaker than the Vikings? You guys are pretty much just an evolved version!”

“Wait, did you say the Goths are playing?” Ike asked, his attention suddenly sharp. Looking to Ruby, who’s eyes widened in excitement, he asked, “So, like, Firkle and everyone else?”

“Yeah…?” Kyle said slowly, confused.

“And they’re actually fighting too, not just smoking and talking about how fucked the world is?” Ruby clarified, nodding as if encouraging him to confirm it. “With weapons, like they’re having fun.”

“I mean, I don’t know if they’re having fun but…” Shaking his head, Kyle furrowed his brows and shortly asked, “Why?”

Leaning in to say something to Ike hurriedly into his ear, Karen gave him a grin that was shared by Ruby. “Come on, this is the perfect chance!” Looking between the kids, confused as to what had changed, Kyle crossed his arms in irritation.

“Okay, what did I miss?” Stan asked, before he could. Standing closer to the boy, Kyle nodded and glared at Ike, who just grinned up at him, innocent as ever.

“Nothing!” Ike insisted, his grin stretching his cheeks. “You know what, I think that we _will_ join with you guys! No challenge is too great for MapleBeard after all, not even saving the world.”

“Good,” Kyle said, confused, but deciding not to argue with it. “I’ll see you tonight with your friends Ike. Thank you for this.”

“Any time big brother~” Ike insisted, his smile gentling to a sweeter glow rather than a vicious grin. For a moment, Kyle felt a wave relief sweep over him. Because even though he was worried about what was going to happen, and even though things with Stan hadn’t gone away, at least he wasn’t going to have to face this alone. And that, surprisingly, was relieving.

“Now get out!” Karen suddenly exclaimed, shooing them away. “You’re going to attract the attention of the Navy!”

Allowing themselves to be pushed out of the place, Kyle caught Stan’s melancholy expression and he nudged the boy’s arm. Feeling a stab of pity for him suddenly, remembering how Tweek had acted when he’d thought that Craig had abandoned him, Kyle sighed and said, “Hey, it’s going to be okay. You and Wendy will work things out. You guys always do.”

Softly, Stan smiled. “Yeah, I’m sure we will.”  
And even though Kyle wasn’t sure that was a good thing, Stan was smiling again, and that was enough for the redhead. _Most of the world is bullshit, but at least Stan isn’t._

It was the little things, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter would not have been possible without the help of several people. I want to say thank you to Sin for talking me down off of my own metaphorical cliff, thank you to Cori for sitting with me and helping me write this out.
> 
> And most importantly, thank you indirectly to Angel. Whether you meant to or not, you finally taught me that I can't try and augment my style to please you, so I'm going to get so good that even you can't ignore me any longer~ It's my goal, thank you for giving me something to strive for.
> 
> See you guys tomorrow ;)


	97. Asking the Real Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR THE BOOKS
> 
> Thanks to Angel and Cori for recording the craig and Kenny dialogue, you had me on the floor laughing. Your voices are, as the cool kids used to say, lit.
> 
> But the real thank you goes to Soymilk, the beautiful bby to whom this chapter is dedicated. I fucking loved your sketch of Damien, and while I can't find it anywhere, I'm still happy that you went to the trouble of doing it. You are _beautiful_ , my child.
> 
> Enjoy.

“So here I am, ass hanging out, dangling from the rafters of the church with Brandt hanging from my ankle, feeling like I’d somehow turned into the latest Christmas star, and Tweek motherfucking Tweak is aiming that Mongorian bow of his and you know how scary that shit is, and I’m asking myself, which way am I going to go out?” Chris Donnelly spread his hand wide as the other boys laughed, amused by his retelling of the battle at Church Hill. “I don’t need another black eye, and I’m determined to survive this, so I have to do something.”

Leaning against one of the railing posts that stood like a gate to the upper levels, Craig shifted his crossed legs and pulled his chullo down over his forehead. He hadn’t been part of the battle they were talking about, he’d been elsewhere, but Tweek had been there, and that was enough to keep him listening to the conversation.

“Come on, you guys were winning that battle, if you got mortally wounded it wouldn’t have ended anything!” Jack insisted, scoffing and shoving at Chris, who pushed back with a laugh.

“I didn’t know that. You guys were taking us out left and right. Who _knew_ how many people were left!” the boy insisted, shaking his head. “Cut me a little slack.”

Jason snorted. “Considering the carnage you were leaving behind, can you really blame him? We’re lucky he wasn’t shiting his pants in fear.” There was another bout of laugher, and Chris let out a cry of protest that was followed up by Terry throwing something at Jason, who swatted it away.

“That’s no laughing matter, I’ll have you know. You know what a scary motherfucker Tweek can be when he’s got that bow in his hands,” repeated Chris, still grinning. “But here I am, wondering how I want to go, and then Tweek fires the damn thing, and I have all of one second to make up my mind and it’s either me or my pride, and considering what you did to my pants Ryan, one of those things had already been destroyed.”

“Oh, and did I mention that he never asked my opinion on any of this?” Brandt asked, gesturing with his sword. “No, I’m just screaming at him not to move the whole time, but does he listen? Of fucking course he doesn’t.”

Chris Donnelly shrugged. “It was me or not me, and I chose the obvious answer. So I let go of the rafter.”

The whole group broke into raucous laughter, and Craig hunched his shoulders in response. _Way to act like a moody asshole._ Considering everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, he felt like he had a right to be. It wasn’t like Clyde was around to talk to, and past that, he didn’t see any reason in pretending to be into things when he just _wasn’t._

Part of him wished that Tweek was there, the rest of felt like shit for wishing this on anyone. Even after what Clyde had said, there was still a large part of him that hated the idea of involving Tweek at all. _Fuck, I’m probably not supposed to think like that._

“You think that’s funny?” Chris was asking, raising his voice so it could be heard above the other boys. “One moment I’m falling, and the next I landed in that baptismal tub of holy water they keep back there and let me tell you, that shit is cold and unpleasant. I still feel _blessed.”_ Remembering Tweek after that battle, the black eye he’d gotten, and the bloody nose, Craig sighed. He’d been annoyed that they hadn’t let him go fight that day, but he’d been proud of Tweek for holding his own.

_So what am I now?_

Too damn introspective, that’s what.

Shooting to his feet abruptly, Craig tugged his cloak around him and headed for the door, needing to get out. _It’s almost over, this won’t last forever._ From below, Chris Donnelly called, “Where you headed to Craig? Does Clyde need something?”

Shaking his head, feeling off balance in that particular way that only occured when he didn’t have Tweek around him, Craig called, “It’s nothing,” before pushing out of the room. Staring down and out over the rest of the castle, Craig finally sucked a long, calming breath into his lungs. Listening to the others talk about the past like that was making his head feel clouded. After everything, the stories felt distorted, and his brain was fuzzy enough without that extra layer of bullshit to confuse him further.

It made him miss Tweek. He was sick of feeling sick, and he was tired of being tired. Though he kept telling himself that it wouldn’t last forever, it sure felt like it would. _After today, the game will be done._ Which sounded great, but in reality only made the minutes crawl by slowly enough to make his head hurt. Absently, he watched the gate guard argue with someone he couldn’t see as he wondered, _will it end? Or will I have to put up with more of this hell?_

“How dare you treat a lady like this! I’m appalled!” At the sound of that high voice, Craig sighed and for a moment allowed his forehead to smack the railing he was leaning on before quickly straightening and starting down the various ladders of the castle as he moved towards the ground. “Oh, so now you get to tell me what side I’m on? I’m sorry, I don’t recall anyone making _you_ the holder of the Stick, or am I mistaken?”

“Look,” the unfortunate sixth grader attempted to reason, his hands held up in surrender. “The Lord of Darkness told me not to let anyone in, unless they were a member. I’m sorry, but-”

“Oh, so no one’s allowed to be a traitor?” Princess Kenny snapped, his falsetto conveying just how dramatically irritated he was. “I knew that our darling Donovan was taking on idiots, but I thought that he’d have slightly higher standards than _this.”_

“Hey, do you want to die fourthy?” the sixth-grader snapped, obviously losing his patience.

 _“Hey, do you want to die fourthy?”_ Kenny mimicked, lowering his voice in a deliberately insulting pantomime of the sixth grader. _“I have fewer brain cells than the zombies, and I’m going to take it out on everyone else because that’s what I know how to do.”_

“Oi-!”

“Lady McCormick, someday, you’re going to get your neck broken,” Craig commented, hiding the fact that he was breathing heavily after having booked it down here before Kenny was murdered due to his own inability to keep his mouth shut.

“As if you’d know what that’s like, Fucker,” Kenny quipped, eyes glittering.

Ignoring the comment, Craig turned to the sixth grader and said, “Let her through, she’s with us.” Grumbling, the boy allowed Kenny to pass him. As he drifted past in his ripped dress and perfect makeup, Kenny giggled and tossed the boy a wink.

“What are you doing here?” Though his voice was flat, Craig still managed to sound disgruntled.

“Aww, it’s almost like you don’t want me here at all~” Kenny purred, fluttering his hands. “You should be grateful that someone cares enough to come after you Craig, after all, you spend so much time trying to drive everyone away.”

Jaw muscles tightening, Craig muttered, “What do you want Kenny?” He didn’t need to be reminded of the whole mess with Tweek, he was so fed up with people reminding him of his mistakes, but it just seemed to keep happening. _Trust Kenny to bring it up, as if he doesn’t already do enough to make me miserable._

“That’s _Princess_ to you,” Kenny corrected, his eyes glittering dangerously. “For your information, I’m here to talk to Clyde, but I suppose one of his underlings will have to do.” Fixing Craig with a more businesslike expression, the boy clearly said, “They’re going to attack you tonight, I should be able to text you the exact times. Until then, you’ll just have to be ready. They’re pulling out all the stops for this, you _need_ to be ready.”

“Thank you for the information,” Craig said stiffly, his eyes trained on a spot somewhere above Kenny’s head. “We’ll keep that in mind.”

“Wonderful.” Instead of leaving as Craig had faintly hoped he would, Kenny passed Craig and continued towards the castle. Resigning himself to a long day, Craig followed the boy, resolutely deciding not to let Kenny get under his skin.

“Did you know that the Grand Wizard and the High Elf are getting along again?” Kenny asked conversationally, as if Craig cared. “Shocking, I _know_ but I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. They’re friends, they just go through a lot to convince themselves that they aren’t. Which reminds me~” Tossing Craig a mischievous look, Kenny asked, “Are you going to let me in on why Token isn’t on your side?”

“Is it any of your business?” Craig asked, his words sharp even if his voice wasn’t. Shrugging off the rough words, Kenny’s smiled danced across his painted lips once more before he turned back to watch where he was walking.

“Funny, if this game isn’t breaking up one group of friends, it’s destroying another. How _unfortunate.”_ _Why can’t he just leave us alone for once?_ Frustrated, Craig clenched his hands into fists under his cloak and took a deep breath. He should be used to Kenny at this point, but there were some things that just never stopped getting on his nerves.

“At least it’ll be over soon,” Craig muttered, relaxing his hands and letting his shoulders fall. It was what he had to focus on, otherwise, he might really lose his mind. True to form though, Kenny was hellbent on pushing his buttons.

“You hope it’ll be over soon,” the boy cooed, his high princess voice making the words grate all the more. “You _pray_ that you’ll be able to go back to spending all the time in the world with your little Tweekers but you _know_ that it’s not that simple. He’s going to be _so_ upset with you after this, and you’re just trying to put that off, aren’t you? Pushing him away because that’s easier.” When Craig’s eyes narrowed into a glare, Kenny said, “Oh don’t look at me like that Craig, I _always_ find out about things like this. And honestly, you aren’t that hard to predict when your mind is such a mess.”

_I’m so fucking done with him._

Craig was about to snap when Kenny’s attitude changed, and he said, in his own voice instead of that infuriating titter, “It’s alright Tucker, I get it, sometimes pushing people away is easier. I’m not blaming you for it.” His eyes shifted, and Craig was struck with how _honest_ the expression on Kenny’s face had suddenly become. “It’s what I would have done.”

 _Oh…_ “I’m trying to do this right,” Craig said, his voice ringing with the exhaustion that he couldn’t quite hide. “But fuck, everything just keeps getting worse.”

“Life doesn’t exactly get easier,” Kenny said ruefully, sucking in his cheeks and glancing at the sky. “We might be playing a dead end, shitty game, but it’s not like the real world is all sunshine and rainbows.

Kenny didn’t need to tell Craig that. _Of all people, I know just how true that is._ It fucking sucked, but the sandy-blond was right, things didn’t get better, they just got more complicated. Which was mildly unnerving, because things were already complicated enough in Craig’s mind.

“Yeah, but people survive, so something changes,” Craig pointed out evenly. As they circled around the back of the castle, the Noirette watched as Kenny’s Princessly act slowly faded, his prim steps relaxing and his perfect posture degrading. Oddly enough, despite how on-edge Kenny could leave him, Craig welcomed the change. He needed something familiar, and the return of the old, mischievous blond was comforting in the strangest way possible.

“Change is relative,” the shorter boy pointed out, his hand twirling idly through the air. “Some people go through their entire lives and never actually have to deal with it at all. And others deal with it every goddamn day.” Ruefully, he added, “And sometimes, we can’t handle it, but the world makes us deal with it anyway.”

“I hate change,” Craig muttered, tugging on his hat.

“You’re not the only one,” Kenny informed him, slowly down slightly so he could fall into step with Craig. Despite how often their interactions were filled with arguing, the Thief found that as long as he wasn’t actively trying to get under his skin, Kenny wasn’t all that bad. “For a bunch of kids, our lives never seem to stay the same for long.” He had a point, but Craig was struggling to remember the last time that his life had been calm and normal.

If he was being honest with himself, when had things _ever_ been anything less than strange? But maybe it wasn’t that his life had been strange so much as consistently shitty. Normal wasn’t really the word for it, he’d just grown numb. And now that he’d tasted happiness, anything less was revealed to be what it was. _Horrible._

“But then again, you seem hell bent on making your life as interesting as possible,” Kenny commented lightly. Lifting his eyebrows slightly, Craig turned to the boy only to get a shrug. “I’m just saying Fucker, you didn’t _have_ to throw Tweek out of here, you could have let him stay. It’s like you’re _trying_ to be miserable.”

“You were the one who said it wouldn’t be easy,” Craig reminded the boy, watching as Kenny combed fingers through the tangled curls of his wig. “I didn’t tell him to leave because I wanted to drive him away, I just didn’t know what what else to do. I don’t want Tweek involved.”

“No,” Kenny corrected, waving a disapproving finger in Craig’s face. “You just _think_ you don’t want Tweek involved.” Reprovingly clicking his tongue, Kenny said, “I know I told you to do what you wanted Craig, but this _isn’t_ quite what I had in mind.”

“Well, you weren’t exactly much help,” Craig gruffly said, shifting his shoulders uncomfortably. He hated it when the sandy-blond talked like that, in riddles and vague comments that didn’t make any sense, it set him off balance. Probably, that was the whole idea, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

“Look Fucker, I can’t just give you the answers,” Kenny told him frankly, his expression unimpressed. “Heck, I don’t even _have_ all the answers. But I can tell the difference between a shitty idea, and a better one. And I _know_ that you can do the same. You’re not stupid Craig, even if you feel like you are.”

Taken aback by Kenny’s words, Craig’s brows drew together and he deadpanned, “You don’t have to lie to me McCormick,” even though internally he wondered if maybe Kenny was right. Had he known that he was making the wrong choice? As if in answer to his query, a bolt of memory hit him, and Craig was confronted with the first thought that had run through his mind upon seeing Tweek. _Thank god._ Because even though he’d reasoned through things and decided that Tweek staying was a bad thing, initially, he’d been grateful that the boy was there.

“And you don’t have to pretend that you’re worthless,” Kenny countered lightly, nudging Craig’s arm lightly with his shoulder. “I’ll be the first to admit, I have a habit of bending the truth, but I don’t like liars, they make things complicated when they don’t need to be.” Cocking his mouth up in a half-grin, Kenny purred, “Trust me, people are plenty complicated without having to make things worse.”

“Says the self admitted traitor,” Craig pointed out, not exactly smiling, but no longer scowling either. His words earned him a laugh from Kenny, who threw his head back and grinned at the sky like that was the best thing he’d heard all day.

“But admit it, I make a beautiful traitor,” Kenny teased.

“Yes, so sexy,” Craig deadpanned, entirely straight face.

“Oh Tucker, if I had known you felt that way, I would have done my hair,” the sandy-blond crooned, sticking his tongue out at Craig and cackling when the boy snorted before giving him a skeptically raised eyebrow.

“Fuck off McCormick,” Craig said easily, flipping the boy off for good measure. Winking at him with his usual dramatic flair, Kenny straightened and gave a little twirl.

“And here I thought you’d never go back to normal.” Looking around, Kenny cleared his throat and said, suddenly returning to his Princess voice, “My goodness, look at the state of this castle, it’s like you never even dust!” For a moment, Craig stared at the boy as if he’d grown a third eye, then he heard a voice from behind him, and it made sense.

“Come on Lady McCormick, we’re _evil_ we don’t dust things!”  Despite the complaining nature of his words, Clyde sounded delighted to see the Princess. “If we spent all our time dusting, where would I find the time to bring back people from the dead? There wouldn’t be any time, _obviously.”_

“Well then maybe you should get Fucker to do some dusting, because as it is he seems to be doing nothing but collecting it.” When Craig flipped Kenny off again, both Clyde and Kenny laughed. “Seriously, he has time to come and greet me personally? I’d have thought you’d be keeping him as busy as possible~” Kenny insisted the moment he’d gotten his vocal cords under control.

“Hey, I’ve got most of the zombies handled,” Clyde insisted, straightening his crown. “So, you want to quickly walk around the place, just to make sure that you know where everything is? I mean, that’s why you’re here, right?”

Kenny giggled and waved a gloved hand, “Oh, you’re too kind King of Darkness, taking time out of your _very_ busy schedule to show me around, why, I hardly deserve such kindness.” Rolling his eyes, Craig caught the mischievous glint in the boy’s eye, and resigned himself to whatever future there was for him. “Out of curiosity, did you manage to find _him?”_

Clyde’s head bobbed quickly as he lead Kenny away towards the back entrance of the castle. “Yeah, it was trick, he was a little… Rotted? But I mean, this green taco sauce works miracles!” Following the boys silently, Craig wondered who they were talking about, and wished that he’d stopped Clyde from using the Alien Goo when he could have. “I’m lucky it fell out of the sky when it did.”

“Lucky is one word for it,” Kenny agreed, pulling out his fan and hiding his face behind it as they walked into the lowest level of the castle. “Oooh, I love what you’ve done with the place!” he praised as he examined the room, twirling around in a circle as he did so. “Though, I think some curtains would make a nice addition, you know?”

“Most of the budget was spent on shingles,” Clyde admitted, leading them both higher. “But yeah, we finally got the zombies to behave. It’s the Hobos, I’m telling you Princess, they’re just so hard to keep control of. One moment they’re shambling and spouting German, then boom, they’re trying to steal your socks. What are we supposed to do about that?”

“I’d say give them socks, but it probably wouldn’t help,” Kenny mused, his tone light and airy. How they could talk about the zombies so carelessly was beyond Craig. “How are the other creatures coming along?”

“Oh, we’ve got everything!” Clyde insisted, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “We’ve got Cats, we’ve got Cows, we’ve got- Well, pretty much anything that starts with a C, we’ve turned it into a zombie!”

“My my, let’s hope that we don’t turn _everything_ that starts with a C into a zombie,” Kenny murmured, looking at Craig mischievously as if imagining what he’d look like as a green, shambling monster.

“Yeah, that’s true, I don’t know what would happen if I got turned into a zombie,” Clyde agreed, scratching his chin. Brightening, the boy decided, “Well, if I did, I’d probably be able to turn back, so it’ll be alright. If the other group manages to get to me, then I might have to consider it.”

“No,” Craig deadpanned, his expression stormy. “You’re not turning into a zombie.” As if this was a tragedy, Clyde let out a dramatic sigh, and Kenny simply sighed, as if disappointed.

“Look at you Fucker, coming in here and ruining our fun, how cruel of you,” Kenny commented. “It’s almost like you don’t want Clyde to win…”

“What, fuck no, I never said that!” Craig insisted, his flat voice rising in volume. “I’m just saying that these zombies are really starting to get on my nerves. Do we even know what they’re from? Or how to make them stop?” The moment the words started coming out of his mouth, Craig found that he had a lot to say on the matter. “What if they escape? Are we going to have to deal with a town full of zombies? Is no one thinking any of this through?”

Kenny patted Craig’s arm, as if that was going to be at all comforting. “Oh Craig, you’re so adorable when you’re worried about the safety of the town like it matters. So cute.”

Shaking the boy off of him, Craig crossed his arms and stared stormily at the two. “I’m serious here. What the fuck do you think you’re trying to do here? Do you even know what you’re messing with?” When Clyde gave him a blank look, Craig ground his teeth together. “There are fucking _undead_ in the cages around you, stop and think about what you’re doing.”

“Craig, it’s just green taco sauce,” Clyde insisted, his eyes wide and guileless. “It fell out of the sky, but there’s lots over by the new taco bell. I’m not sure why you’re so worried.”

“Because Clyde, that’s not fucking taco sauce,” Craig growled, his eyes narrowing. He knew that he hadn’t said anything before but fuck, he was done just not saying anything. Clyde was being an idiot, and he was tired of just letting his friend make stupid choices. “You’re going to get all of us _killed.”_

“Come on Fucker, it’s just a game,” Kenny lilted, his voice sounding dangerous in the strangest sort of way. “Don’t talk about _death_ like it’s inevitable. Of course it’s green taco sauce, what else would it be?”

“It’s-” But Craig realized that he couldn’t explain without sounding entirely crazy. “It’s not taco sauce,” he finished lamely, hating how effectively he’d been backed into a corner. “But that’s not important, Clyde, we can win without zombies, you’re just creating a bigger problem.”

“You know Craig, I think you’re failing to see the bigger picture,” Kenny told him in that sweet Princess voice of his. “You keep focusing on _zombies,_ think about Cartman. Wouldn’t you like to see him pay for everything he’s done? This is going to finally beat him, you just have to let it happen.”

“Come on Craig, it’s just a game,” Clyde said softly, his eyes imploring. “Everything is going to get better.”

Faced with both of them and their inability to understand, Craig realized he couldn’t handle this anymore. “Fine,” he bit out, taking a step back. “Have fun with you Nazi Zombies, I’m going to talk to the men.” Swiftly, Craig seized the rope ladder that lead upwards and quickly scaled it, climbing through the levels until he reached the spot where he’d left the other soldiers that were still in the castle.

Spotting him, Chris Donnelly said, “And the brooding Thief returns~ Tell me Craig, how bad is life in the outside world?”

For a moment, Craig just stared at him, then at last, he hoarsely muttered, “You have no idea.”

To be honest though, it was he who had no idea how bad things had gotten, and he really didn’t want to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lowkey Crenny there. Oops.
> 
> See you tomorrow my dudes, hopefully earlier this time.


	98. The Shadows, Brighter than The Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *mumbles* Oh god my hands hurt.
> 
> Okay, so, this chapter is dedicated to the beautiful, and wonderful Sin the Failure, who did the beautiful picture of Damien for Ty. Thank you Sin, I'd write you more, but I think my hands might kill me.
> 
> Thank you to the Doctor for letting me bounce ideas off of you. I needed some help when it came to nazi zombies XD
> 
> Enjoy.

_“You want to talk to the girls?” Heidi sounded dully unimpressed._

_“Ngh, y-yeah!” Tweek insisted, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he stared up at Heidi. The girl tipped her chin up and looked him over, like she was deciding what she should do with him, which sent a jolt of discomfort through him. “Jesus, you guys have helped us before, why do you have to act like this?!”_

_“Stan is being a jerk to Wendy, and we don’t want to put up with him,” Heidi said, her tone clipped. “And if that’s not enough, Craig broke up with Bebe recently.” Glaring at Tweek, as if this was somehow his fault, the girl continued, “Today, she’s miserable. It doesn’t take much to connect the dots on that one Tweek. I’m sorry, but the girls want nothing to do with you guys anymore.”_

_“Ngh- W-why would you say something like that?” Tweek demanded, grabbing at a hunk of his hair and yanking hard. “Stan always breaks up with W-Wendy. Craig’s not even on our side!! And CHRIST! Sh-she isn’t even upset about Craig! You’ve got this all wrong!!”_

_“Look Tweek, please don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” Heidi told him impatiently, her arms crossed across her chest. “The girls don’t even want to play the game anymore, we’ve got much more important things to be worrying about than something like the Fantasy game.”_

_“Well I think it’d be aweful nice of y’all to come an’ help out anyway,” Butters told the girl, rubbing the knuckles of his fists together while Tweek mentally screamed at Heidi._ Oh god, why can’t you understand how important this is?? You’re going to get us all killed! Jesus, I don’t want to die! _“It’d won’t be that big, an’ then things’ll calm down!”_

_“The game’s -ghn- going to be over soon!” Tweek squeaked, trying to keep his voice calm. He’d told Kyle that he could get the girls to listen, he had to at least make an effort to do it right. “We’re trying to end it, b-but we need your help. Please listen to us!”_

_For a moment, Heidi looked like she was going to say no yet again, but finally she sighed and grabbed for her phone. “Fine, I’ll text them, but they probably won’t say yes, I’m just warning you.” As he watched her nervously, Tweek let out a soft squeak, which was met by an indiscernible look from Heidi. “Why aren’t you on Craig’s side?” she asked frankly, her eyebrows furrowing like she was trying to figure him out._

_“Rrr- because he w-wouldn’t let me join his side,” Tweek admitted in a small voice._

_Unexpectedly, Heidi’s eyes filled with something like pity. Glancing down at her phone, she said, “Yeah, I get that, people can be really crappy sometimes Tweek. They like to throw you out of groups for no reason, and they never explain things to you. But I hope Craig and you make up soon.” As if she’d never said a word of that, the girl smiled and said, “Oh, looks like the girls want to see you. Come on you two, time to see Wendy.”_

Which is how Tweek had ended up standing in front of the girls, espresso clutched in one hand, hair tangled around the other, as he attempted not to scream. The girls had been arguing for several minutes now, something about an abortion clinic, which honestly made no sense to Tweek at all, and it was really starting to stress him out.

Butters, to his credit, seemed entire relaxed about the matter, simply smiling worriedly at the girls like he genuinely cared about what they were talking about. Tweek didn’t, he just wanted it to stop. Who talked about things like this so casually?? Girls weren’t human, there was no way that they could be. Hating that he’d ended up in this situation in the first place, Tweek took a rushed gulp of his coffee in an attempt to drown out his own screams.

He didn’t even want to be here, but it was almost over, right? And every time he thought about Craig, standing there above him, his face set into a mask of stone, Tweek’s reslove strengthened. He had to do something, he had to make Craig understand. Besides, Kyle had asked him to, and after the boy had helped him escape the gnomes, Tweek felt like he owed the redhead. _I hate owing people!_ So he’d do this, just this one thing.

Just recruit the girls, the others would handle the rest.

Unforutnetly, that direction was decivingly simple. In actuallity, it was a lot harder to execute. Which is why Tweek was listening to them argue about bitches and abortions, as if this was important when they were on the brink of war.

“But we all know that Monica Ryland is a two-faced bitch!” Milie insisted, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. “I think that we should just go after her, otherwise, this is going to spread.”

“I’m not a whore,” Annie Nelson whispered tearfully. “I can’t believe she’d say things like that about me.”

“We don’t think you are honey,”  Jenny cooed, putting her hand on the girls shoulder soothingly. “But I don’t think that Monica did this! I mean, she’s a dirty bitch, but this just isn’t her style at all. Besides, what does she have against Annie Nelson?”

“Yeah, she’d be more likely to go after Bebe,” Red agreed, tapping a finger against her desk. “Everyone knows that she’ll spread her legs for anyone, and she’s had eyes on my cousin for a long time. So why would she go after Annie.”

Bebe, Tweek noticed, didn’t respond to any of this, and he let out a soft whimper as he caught the miserable look on her face. Apparently, she hadn’t cheered up since yesterday, and he couldn’t help but be worried about that. _She’s probably still worried about Clyde. Jesus, I’m worried about him too! But we can’t do anything!!_

“If it pleases and sparkles, can we please let the matter of the abortion clinic drop,” Heidi requested, staring up at Wendy, who was still silent. “Tweek and Butters want to know if we’re going to join the game, can we just give them an answer now and worry about this later?”

“Heidi, you have to support your sunshine sisters,” Wendy chastised shortly, waving her gavel at the girl. “We need to find this two-faced bitch, we can’t just let her wander around, unquestioned. That’s not going to help anyone! Especially if you’re going to ask us to go to war.”

Heidi groaned loudly. “I’m not even _asking_ you girls to go to war, I just don’t want to argue about this anymore! Annie Nelson is fine, okay? I’m getting so sick of this conversation.”

“Heidi, that’s not very glittery!” Annie Knitts exclaimed, sounding horrified. “How could you say something like that about what’s happened. We’ve got to figure out who’s spreading these rumors, no one deserves to be talked about like this behind their back.”

“It’s not like you’re one to talk,” Heidi muttered darkly, just loud enough for Tweek to hear and panic. _This is why I hate girls!! Why can’t Bebe just say something, then I wouldn’t have to deal with the rest of them! This is so stressful!_

“I don’t think it’s very nice for anyone t’be spreadin’ rumors around!” Butters piped up, puffing up his chest and giving them all a serious look. “An’ I’d sure like to help y’all figure out what happened, cause people like that are big ol’ meanies!”

“Ngh- JESUS WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!!” Tweek squawked, sloshing some of his coffee onto the floor of the girl’s hideout. “Don’t you guys get it?? W-we’re going to have a _war!”_ Shivering, feeling the stress building up in the back of his brain, Tweek struggled to not freak out, even though he was on the verge of losing it completely.

“Look, Tweek, it’s going to take a lot for us to actually _want_ to help you boys,” Wendy said, crossing her arms and staring down at him. “Nothing personal, but the Boys are irritating, and I don’t want to have to deal with them.”

“Especially if we have a two-faced bitch in our midst,” Milie agreed, sniffing.

“Wouldn’t it be easiest just to go to the abortion clinic and get the records?” Red asked, only to be met with a chorus of girls protesting her words. “What? It would be much more efficient than finding Monica Ryland, because _everyone_ knows that she’s a two-faced bitch, but we don’t know if she was even at the clinic, so we don’t know if she’d have the chance to see Annie.”

“I never got an abortion!” Annie insisted, her lower lip trembling. “I would never do something like that, I _don’t_ sleep around.”

“Well, looks like you’ve got your answer,” Heidi said, shrugging as if she could care less. “Sorry you two, but I told you the rest of the girls wouldn’t want to be part of it.” Feeling his spirits drop, Tweek let out an involuntary sound and twitched hard, shaking his head violently, but Heidi’s expression didn’t change. “Look, we’ve got other things to worry about, I’m sure that you can deal with this on your own.”

“But-”

“Motion to not help the boys!” the girl below Wendy called out.

“Sunshine, Sunshine!” Wendy called out.

“Wait!” At the sound of Bebe’s voice, Tweek’s head snapped up and all the other girls fell silent. “Tweek-” Pausing for a moment, Bebe cleared her throat and asked, “Clyde’s still acting weird, isn’t he?” Catching the worry in her voice, Tweek dragged in a shivering breath and nodded quickly, his eyes wide an unblinking. “And Craig’s still with him?” Another nod, this one accompanied by a soft whimper. Glancing up at Wendy, Bebe said, “I think we should listen to him.”

Staring up at Bebe, Tweek felt the tension go out of his shoulders. If Bebe was on his side, then they’d be fine.

“Bebe, you don’t want to work with the boys, look what happened with Craig,” Wendy said impatiently, like she couldn’t believe that Bebe would even consider it. “Come on, let’s do something more sparkly than fighting with the boys.”

“If it pleases and sparkles,” Esther piped up. “It was actually pretty fun to play that game when we still got to fight. What if we just fought with them for this one battle?”

“Only if we sort out this problem with the two-faced bitch,” Red insisted, her brows furrowed.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to go to the abortion clinic to figure it out,” Annie Knitts said, huffing. “There’s no way I want to be seen around that place.”

“Me neither!” Jenny agreed. “If we’re going to figure this out, we need someone to go to the abortion clinic!”

Shuffling beside Tweek, Butters piped up, “W-well what if y’got a disguise or somethin’ and then went! Then no one would know who it was.” At his words, the other girls started to murmur amongst themselves, and Tweek bit at his lip to hold back any nervous sounds. How Craig had put up with this was beyond him, but if he could do it, then Tweek could do it too.

As one girl leaned in and whispered something to Wendy, the girl nodded and said, “I mean, I guess they both sort of look like girls…” _Who are they talking about? Wait, are they talking about Butters and me? Oh god, we don’t look like girls!! Why would they say that?!_ “That actually might work, good thinking Milie.”

“What might work?!” Tweek demanded, clenching his fingers around his thermos until his knuckles went white.

Rapping her gavel against the table, Wendy sharply said, “You said that the boys want us to fight for them, didn’t you?” When Tweek nodded rapidly and twitched, the girl said, “Well, we might be willing to help, but only if you’re willing to help us.”

 _Oh god, what are they going to have me do?_ No, he couldn’t think like that, he had to trust that he could do it. Summoning his courage, Tweek lifted his chin and said as clearly as he could, “As long as y-you _promise_ to help the boys afterward, then we’ll do it.”

“O’course we will!” Butters agreed, smiling happily, the expression stretching from ear to ear. “Me an’ Tweek will be able to do anythin’ you could ask!”

Bebe spoke up. “They want you to dress up as girls and infiltrate the abortion clinic.”

Despite the fact that he’d sort of seen it coming, Tweek let out a screech. “WHAT!?”

Scoffing, Red tossed her hair over her shoulder and grumbled, “I told you they wouldn’t find it very glittery.” Several other girls made sounds of agreement, which only made Tweek’s panic increase. “Well, I guess we’re not-”

“No wait!” Tweek yelped, jerking to the right hard. “Ngh- C-can we think about it??”

“Sure, you get half a minute,” Heidi said, tapping her foot. “Go.”

“OH GOD PRESSURE!!” Whipping his head around to Butters, Tweek yanked on his hair and asked, “Jesus d-do you think this is a good idea?? I mean, w-what if we get caught?! Or killed?? Do they kill you if you impersonate someone? I don’t think I could handle that!!”

“It’s okay Tweek,” Butters said, smiling reassuringly. “I think we’ll do jus’ fine if we do our best.” Turning to the girls Butters smiled eagerly up at them and said, “Y’know, I’ve never dressed up as a girl or nothin’, b-but Kenny makes it look easy, so I suppose it can’t be all that bad, right?”

“Motion to have Butters and Tweek infiltrate the clinic and find out who the two-faced bitch is?” Jenny asked, looking around the room.

Tweek let out a shriek of fear.

“Sunshine, sunshine!” most of the girls chorused happily.

“Sparkle,” agreed Wendy, a smile actually making its way onto her face.

“And you know what that means?” Annie Knitts asked excitedly, her eyes bright and mischievous. _“Makeover~!”_

“Makeover!!” the other girls agreed excitedly. Suddenly, Tweek found himself and Butters getting swarmed by girls as they were pushed through the clubhouse, on their way to wherever it was the girls kept the clothes. Head spinning, still unsure what had just happened, Tweek didn’t fight Red as she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards another room, followed eagerly by Jenny, Bebe, Esther, and several other girls.

“Now, we just need to make you look like a girl,” Jenny said conversationally, casually stealing Tweek’s weapons and tossing them into a corner of the room. Watching as his various dangerous implements were stripped from him, Tweek let out a squawk as a girl grabbed him by his shoulders and another stole his pants. _Oh god what if they eat me!?_

But then Bebe was there, helpfully showing up in front of Tweek with a rag and a soft attempt at a smile. “Don’t worry Tweek, everything’s going to be okay,” she said softly, and the blond twitched as the girl carefully started to wipe the warpaint off of his face. “Right? We’re going to stop them from doing this, and then things will go back to normal.” _Which of us is she trying to convince?_ Tweek wondered, before realizing that it didn’t really matter. They both needed a little reassurance right about now.

“Yeah, but let’s focus on making Tweek look like a proper girl,” Esther called, already buried in the closet they had in the room.

“I’ve always wanted to put him in a pair of heels,” Red commented, grabbing for an alarming pair of red high heels before dropping them and pulling out a taupe colored set of shoes that Tweek didn’t have a name for. “He’s just so short, they’d make him look better, don’t you think?”

“It’s got to be believable,” Bebe reminded them, carefully finishing her self appointed task of removing the stripes from Tweek’s neck. “Remember, we’re trying to convince adults here, but I know we can do it.”

“Remember that time we tried to get Henrietta to wear something other than that horrible net dress?” Jenny called, checking various shades of lipstick on the back of her hand. “Oh my god, you would have thought we were trying to give a cat a bath, I swear she scratched me.”

“I think she looks fine in that dress,” Red huffed, pulling out a pale pink skirt and holding it up to the light. “It fits her, you guys were being cruel telling her she looked fat in it.”

“Well she does,” Esther informed Red, rolling her eyes.”

“Of course _you_ don’t think she looks fat,” Jenny agreed, crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out at Red, who turned an irritated shade of crimson and went back to digging through the drawers. “Do you think we should do eyeshadow on him? I mean, he’s got such horrible dark circles under his eyes. Do you ever sleep Tweek?”

Shivering, Tweek squeaked, “Ngh- N-not really!” He was feeling a little overwhelmed by the colors and the lights flashing past him as the girls in the room all seemed to quickly coordinate an outfit and put it together. Focusing instead on Bebe, who was still calmly helping wipe away his warpaint, Tweek twitched and asked, “They’re not actually going to turn me into a girl, r-right?”

“Don’t worry, it’s not permanent,” Bebe reassured Tweek, stroking her fingers through his hair and grabbing for the hairspray that another girl tossed her. “You’re just going to be a girl for a little while. It’s all just makeup and stuff. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t want to be a girl!” Tweek insisted, shaking his head. He wasn’t girlish at all! Butters he could sort of understand, but him? The blond was a barbarian! Why on earth would they put him in a dress!?

“Come on Tweek, Craig used to say you were a really good actor,” Bebe insisted, her eyes wide and pleading. “I know you can do it, just- Please do it for me, okay? I know it’s selfish of me, but I really need the help of the boys if I want to get through to Clyde. You just need to dress up like this for a little while.” Though he wanted to argue further, at Bebe’s startlingly honest admission, Tweek felt his protests die in his throat.

“Grrr- Okay,” he mumbled, shivering, but otherwise allowing Bebe to continue doing what she wanted. Seemingly satisfied, Bebe went about spraying his typically untamable hair with a foul smelling product that apparently made it look more girlish than usual. Catching sight of himself in the mirror that hung on one wall, Tweek had to admit that Bebe was doing pretty well with what she had.

“Well, you’re not exactly the right shape to be a girl,” Esther admitted ruefully, poking at Tweek’s stomach, causing him to let out a cry. “But I mean you’ll have to do.” From the other side of the room, Red tossed over a skirt, and together, a couple of girls helped get Tweek into it. Feeling all kinds of weird about it, Tweek pulled at the skirt and looked at Bebe with wide, plantive eyes.

“I mean, you don’t make a bad girl…” Jenny vetured, shrugging. “Wendy says they’re having better luck with Butters, so maybe you guys should act accordingly.  You know, so that the one who’s the most believable is doing most of the talking. I’d hate for you to ruin things. That wouldn’t be helpful at all.”

Allowing the girls to push him into an uncomfortable pair of flat shoes that looked like slippers more than they did anything he could actually run in, Tweek held out his arms in resignation as they put a green blouse on him and Bebe buttoned it up to his neck. “There!” she said, giving him a smile that was admittedly a little brighter. “You’re almost done.”

Walking up to him, Jenny whipped out the makeup she’d settled on and started poking and prodding at Tweek’s face, making the poor blond wish that he could just melt into the floor to avoid the torture. _Why would girls do this to themselves willingly? Jesus, are they all crazy?_ To be honest, it was starting to look that way, but he just let it happen, unsure what else he could do.

All too soon, they were cooing over him and turning him around so he could see himself in the mirror. “THAT’S ME!?” Tweek screamed, his hands twitching upwards to grab his hair only to have three different girls stop him. “OH MY GOD W-WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME??” His outfit, which he hadn’t really thought about in pieces, together made him look uncomfortably girlish. Feeling his pride, or what little of it he had, crumble, Tweek whimpered as he stared at the make up covering his face, and the styling of his hair which only added to the whole feminine vibe. He hated it, but as he caught Bebe’s expression, Tweek held his tongue.

_I’ve just got to get through this, that’s all that matters._

“You look great Tweek!” insisted Jenny, poking at one of his cheeks. “Hmm, you need a different name. What do you want to be called?”

“What about Betty?” asked one of the girls in the back.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Red agreed, grabbing a small green bow and fixing it in the front of his hair. “Betty. That’s your girl name, okay?”

“O-okay,” Tweek stammered, his voice sounding painfully high enough to be female. _Oh god, I hope that Craig never finds out about this, I’d never be able to live it down._ Before he could continue on this dismal line of thought any longer, the door opened and another cloud of girls filtered in.

“Oh my god, you guys never cease to amaze me,” Wendy commented, staring at Tweek in approval. “I love it.” Her eyes narrowing into a glare, the girl continued, “But if you damage _any_ of that clothing, I’m going to kill you.” At Wendy’s threat, Tweek let out an involuntary cry, and the other girls giggled.

“Wanna see what we did to Butters, or should I say _Marjorine?”_ Milie asked mischievously. When Tweek didn’t answer, there was another round of collective giggling before they pushed someone forward in a swirl of ribbons and baby blue dress. Blinking at the long blond hair and prettily made up face, Tweek blankly stared at Butters in complete confusion as the boy let out a fluttering giggle and curtsied.

“Well, what d’you think, Tweek?” Butters, er- Marjorine asked, batting long eyelashes at Tweek, who could do nothing but stare in bafflement at what had become of the paladin. “I mean, I know I’m not as good as Kenny at it, b-but I think I’ll do fine~!”

“Come on Marj, she’s going by _Betty_ now,” Annie Knitts corrected, giggling. “Oh my gosh, you guys look so cute! I love this! You guys will totally fool the doctors at Unplanned Parenthood and be able to steal the records. This was _such_ a good idea!”

Shaking himself from his trance, Tweek blinked and mumbled, “Gha! I guess it is…”

Linking arms with him, Butters brightly said, “Come on Betty, let’s get ‘em those records~”

Well, no one ever said this would be easy…

))))-((((

“Jesus, are you _sure_ you -rrr- remember the plan?” Tweek clarified in a soft voice as they stared up at the doors of the clinic. It looked dark and imposing above him, just like the rest of this. He would have felt braver if he’d been able to keep some of his weapons on him, but unfortunately he’d been stripped of anything that could be used for protection, so he was at the mercy of everyone else. It was made worse by the skirt he was wearing, which just made him feel stupid.

“O’course I remember!” Butters burbled, twirling a piece of hair between his fingers with a smile. He’d taken entirely to the idea of playing a girl, which was terrifying and impressive at the same time. Tweek wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with this knowledge, so he decided just to accept it and use it. “It’s okay Betty, we’re gonna do just fine.”

The plan was fairly simple, all things considered. The two of them were supposed to go into the clinic and sign Butters, or Marjorine, up for an abortion. While Butters was in there, Tweek was going to sneak into the back of the building and find the records that the girls wanted. Once Butters escaped, he was going to come find Tweek and they’d leave.

Thankfully, the twitchy blond had been told exactly what file to grab, so he knew what he was doing, but he was still terrified of the actual execution. What if he screwed something up and everything went horribly wrong because of it? Then what would they do? He didn’t want to be responsible for something like that.

But, he kept telling himself, this needed to happen. Even if Craig wasn’t counting on him, Tweek was counting on himself to rescue the Noirette from the terrible decisions he was making. It seemed so stupid, but then, Tweek wasn’t smart, so he figured this was pretty typical. He could do it, he just needed to get the girls to help him. With Bebe there, he’d be able to figure things out with Craig and Clyde and then everything could go back to normal.

That being said, the process was not enjoyable, not in the slightest. Tweek wasn’t feminine, and unlike Butters, who seemed to have picked up on being a girl fairly quickly, the blond was still struggling. Which was why he was going to be getting the records, but those were details he didn’t need to think about.

“Okay, let’s do this,” Tweek squeaked, before pushing through the doors and walking into the room. The entire thing smelled horrifyingly sterile, and for a moment Tweek wanted to throw up, but then he remembered the last time he’d been in the hospital and Craig’s soft, bandaged face, and he found his tremors relaxing slightly. He’d be fine, besides, he was here to do a job, not actually talk to any doctors.

Walking up to the desk, the blond pushed Butters ahead of him and struggled to control his twitching as the woman asked, without even bothering to look up, “Hi, here for an abortion?”

In a girlish voice that would have made Kenny proud, Butters cooed back, “Yes I am, thanks f’r askin’~” As he shuffled his feet, the woman flipped the thing on her clipboard up and looked through things before smiling, still not looking up.

“Wonderful, now don’t be scared. I know the first one’s always the scariest, but it’ll get easier after that. Just head on through those doors.” Finally looking up at them with the kind of blank stare that was typical of South Park adults, the woman asked, “Does your friend need an abortion as well?”

“Uh, no, see, Betty’s just here to hold m’hand an’ stuff,” Butters said, smiling bright enough to blind someone. Realizing that he had a part to play, Tweek swallowed back his fear and nodded his head quickly, careful not to make eye contact with the woman. If he did, he was sure that she’d be able to see past the make up to the fact that he wasn’t a girl at all, and they’d both be thrown out for sure.

As it was, the woman just smiled and said, “Alright, just head on through that door right there and head to the room on the left. Thank you for choosing Unplanned Parenthood during this uncertain time of your life.” Nodding, Butters caught Tweek’s arm and pulled him towards the door quickly, giggling as he did so. _It’s almost terrifying how good he is at this._

“See, what did I say Betty,” Butters said, smiling at Tweek brightly the moment they were through the doors. “Everythin’s gonna be alright~”

“Ngh- I guess you’re r-right,” Tweek mumbled, tossing his head around. There was something about this that felt horribly wrong, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what it was. Grinding his teeth together hard enough for them to start to hurt, the boy twitched once and squeaked, “I’m g-gonna go find those records. Jesus DON’T DIE!!” Without waiting for Butters’ response, Tweek scurried off down the hallway, hoping that he was going in the right direction.

The abortion clinic was frighteningly big, with hallways that seemed to stretch on forever. Despite this, Tweek snuck through it as confidently as possible. He’d never been as stealthy as Craig, but he wasn’t terrible. There had been years he’d spent trying to stay away from his own monsters, so he had some skills from that. Still, in practice, sneaking through a place like this was terrifying.

Hearing rather than seeing a group of doctors at the end of a hallway, Tweek squeaked and quickly ducked the other way, holding his breath for a moment to make sure he hadn’t been seen. Satisfied that he was still hidden, Tweek kept running, looking at the doors in case there would be some helpful indicators as to what was in each of them. Most of them seemed to be operating rooms, but some looked more promising.

Breaking off at the room helpfully labeled _Record Room B,_ Tweek ducked into the dark interior and quickly shut the door behind him. Looking around the room, loath to turn on the light, Tweek stumbled forward until he managed to see well enough to start to read the rows of files. There were a lot of them, and he felt his stomach sink. Oh well, this might take a little longer than he’d expected. _It’s okay, at least I don’t have to pretend to be a girl._

Wiping some of the makeup off of his face, Tweek started scrambling through the files, yanking boxes out and pawing through them until he determined that there was nothing important there. There were way too many boxes, and not all of them were as nice looking as others. One of them had a bloody looking butcher’s knife under it that scared Tweek into stifling a scream. _Ugh, I can’t believe I’m doing this._ Deciding to pick up the knife because a small weapon was better than nothing, Tweek continued his search.

Finally realizing that he should probably move onto the more recent boxes, Tweek turned around and pawed at the first box on the opposite shelf. It felt… Heavier than the others. Confused, Tweek yanked it off of the shelf and pried open the top, nonplussed.

 _“Aug' um Aug', Zahn um Zahn!”_ Leaping backwards with a shriek as something leapt out at him, Tweek felt his stomach rebell with revulsion as a green, misshapen _thing_ started crawling across the floor at him, still spouting German. As several more of the hideous creatures crawled out of the box, Tweek hurriedly drew the knife and held it in front of him, his shaking getting worse.

Oh god, maybe he was losing his mind, he was always losing his mind, but those _things_ they looked like the zombie that he’d seen on the Alien Spaceship. Taking another step back, Tweek let out a shriek as one of them gave another yell in German and threw up. He could feel his blood starting to race because they’d _defeated_ the aliens, why were their zombies still here? How was he supposed to deal with something that shouldn’t even exist?

Before he could do anything, one of the creatures leaped at him, clearly intent on biting him. With a scratch of, “JESUS CHRIST NO!” Tweek slashed at the zombie, cutting it in half with the apparently sharp knife. Watching as the thing fell to the floor, nothing but a steaming pile of green skin and blood, Tweek whimpered and looked at the other two, who continued to advance on him.

He had to do something! And panicking wasn’t the right answer. _What would Craig do?_ He’d tell Tweek that he could do it. Feeling a rush of strength fly through him, Tweek let out a growl and leapt forward, stabbing one of the zombies before it knew what was happening.

 _“Weltkrieg zu stürzen, dann wird das Ergebnis nicht der Sieg des Judentums sein, sondern die Vernichtung der jüdischen Rasse in Europa!”_ the remaining form yelled, before charging at him. Dodging backwards, Tweek let out a scream of his own before slicing at the creature.

Unlike it’s bretheren, it dodged, but Tweek didn’t let that stop him. Instead he just grit his teeth together and faced the creature head on. As it leapt for him, Tweek sliced upwards, cutting the thing in half. With a wail, the thing fell, and Tweek was left alone once more, breathing heavily, trying to wipe green goo off of his arms. _Oh god, it smells so bad, I hate this!_

But he was alive. Craig would have been proud of him.

Remembering why he’d come here, Tweek hurried over to the box that was still lying there, and found at the bottom a single file, almost like it had been waiting for him. Recognizing the label as the one that the girls had asked for, Tweek grinned for a second as he reached down and grabbed it, spending a moment shaking the goo off of it.

_Great, now all I have to do is-_

“Oh god, you’ve seen too much.” Whipping around, Tweek found two men in black suits blocking the doorway. Letting out a shriek because at last, they’d found him, Tweek stumbled backwards and stared at them in fear. “I’m sorry little girl,” the same agent said, his tone unapologetic. “But you’re going to have to come with us.”

In a high voice that unfortunately did sound pretty feminine, Tweek squeeked, “N-no!” Clutching the file tighter because goddamn anyone who thought they were going to get it from him, the blond pushed out, “If you want me, y-you’re going to have to come get me!”

“I’m sorry,” said the other agent, pulling out a gun. “But that’s not how this works.”

He fired.

With a scream, Tweek rolled, losing one of his shoes in the process. Not bothering to go back and grab it, the boy got to his feet and ran, hearing the agents follow him as he did so. Feeling the hair on the back of his neck raise, Tweek ducked left and watched in horror as a bullet whizzed past him and blasted through the door at the other end of the record room.

 _Wait, door!_ Ditching his leftover shoe, Tweek ducked through the door and screamed as several more bullets came flying through. Looking around the room for something to defend himself with, Tweek grabbed the first dangerous instrument he saw and screamed when it turned on.

Pointing the thing at the first agent that came barling through the door, Tweek watched in horror as the thing stuck to the man’s face, making him scream and hit at it in an attempt to knock it off. The other agent, who had no way of knowing what was going on, shot his partner in the back. As Tweek choked on a scream and the man fell, the blond noticed the gun sitting on the floor, and realized that he only had one moment to make up his mind.

 _Craig would do it, so can I!_ With a yell, the boy twitched and ducked forward, dropping the knife and grabbing for the gun. It was different than the Alien weapon, and for a moment he almost dropped it again, but then he was grabbing one of the spare clips that had fallen off of the dead suit’s belt and he was aiming the weapon at the man in the door.

“I’M SORRY BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT!!” Closing his eyes, Tweek pulled the heavy trigger and went momentarily deaf as the gun fired. For a moment, there was nothing but distant screaming, then Tweek opened his eyes and found the man staring at him in surprise. There was no gunshot wound on him, no, there was just a nazi zombie creature that had fixed itself to his neck. As the man went over, dead, Tweek let out a screech and pointed the gun at the thing.

There was a bang, and the disgusting zombie fell off of the man, dead.

Shivering, Tweek backed up, stuck the gun in his waistband, and grabbed the folder once more before running out into the hallway. As he ducked outside, he almost tripped over another body, who was being attacked by several of the strange, almost baby like creatures. There was a phone on the ground, and through it he could hear someone yelling, but he had no way of knowing what was being said, so he kept moving. _I have to find Butters!!_

Ducking down the hallway, hardly caring when the green bow in his hair went flying, Tweek quickly charged down the next passage until there was an earth shattering explosion that left him coughing horribly. Stumbling to a halt, Tweek heard shouting and fumbled at his belt for the gun. It was  good thing he did, because a moment later, there was a suited man in front of him with a terrifyingly large gun pointed at his face. His face was green, and as he spouted something in German, Tweek realized he was a zombie. Without hesitation this time, Tweek pulled the trigger and felt his stomach drop as the man did. _Oh god, I killed someone. Oh god, what have I done?_

As more of those dreaded babies started swarming, Tweek ran through the hole in the wall, and almost careened into Butters, who had traded his wig for doctor scrubs and a cap. Seeing Tweek, the boy held up his hands and blubbered, “Tweek th-they tried t’preform an abortion on me, but I don’t think that’s what they did, and then I had to give Mr. Marsh an abortion, and I don’t even know where he is now, I think that they might’ve-”

“THERE’S NO T-TIME!!” Grabbing Butters’ arm and pulling him along, Tweek raced down the hallway, headed towards, to the best of his knowledge, the exit. As they ran and Butters continued to blubber about nazi zombies and male abortions, Tweek kept running. He wasn’t sure how he knew where he was going, but he was certain all the same.

Skittering with his charge into an admittedly familiar hallway, Tweek screeched when a large, hideous nazi zombie baby got in their path. Pushing Butters behind him, Tweek planted his feet and handed the boy behind him the folder before pulling out the gun one more. “This is going to be really loud!” Tweek screeched in warning, before the baby wailed something in German, and Tweek pulled the trigger.

The creature didn’t stop coming.

Backing up, Tweek saw the spot where he’d hit the baby and realized that something this big wasn’t going to get taken down with something like that. His arms were starting to hurt from the recoil, but he had to do this, he had to protect Butters. Gritting his teeth, the blond screeched, “I WON’T L-LET YOU HURT MY FRIENDS!!” before firing again. And again.

There was a click as his clip emptied, but Tweek didn’t care because he heard the bloodcurdling wail that came before the creature fell to the ground, dead. Dropping the gun and the extra clip, Tweek grabbed Butters’ arm once more and hurried out of the abortion clinic, fear fueling every step. The moment they’d made it out, the whole building simply caught fire, making the air around it sear white hot.

Stumbling back, pulling Butters out of the range of the fire, Tweek watched as the building started to burn to the ground before the sirens started. _Oh god, there are zombies._ Tweek thought, before realizing the even more terrifying thought of, _oh god, no one is going to believe us._

“What do we do?” Butters asked, voice terrified.

“Ghn- Go find the girls,” Tweek mumbled, shaking his head. Because honestly, at that point, that was about all he could manage.

))))-((((

“See, it says here that there were only five women at the clinic that day!” Wendy exclaimed, pointing at the page.

“And right there it says Nancy Turner, 3:30 pm!” Esther agreed, pointing as well.

Tweek shivered, the loss of the blouse welcome, but the chill not.

“That’s _Heidi’s mom!”_ Red exclaimed, her eyebrows shooting up before her face screwed up in anger. “So Heidi Turner was the two-faced bitch all along!”

Butters was still staring straight ahead in horror, and Tweek didn’t blame him. If it hadn’t been for dealing with the Aliens not but a few days ago, he would have been catatonic too. That or dead. Probably dead.

“This evidence is pretty damning,” Bebe admitted, her eyes horribly sad.

“It’s irrefutable!” Wendy insisted, furious as well. “Thanks Tweek and Butters, now we know it was _Heidi_ who was spreading the rumors all along!” Her words were accompanied by a glare that was sharp enough to cut through glass.

“Fucking whore!” Lola yelled from where she sat above Bebe. The blond girl glared up at her, as if that kind of language irritated her.

“Two-faced buttrag!” Emily agreed, her arms crossing.

“Fuck Heidi Turner in her fucking two-faced ass!” Milie yelled, her face a mask of rage.

Even though they weren’t directed at him, Tweek shivered under the viciousness of the insults. Taking a deep breath, Wendy’s face smoothed out to normal and she finished with, “But Heidi is really sorry.”

“Yeah,” agreed Bebe, who seemed calmer now. “So we’re deciding to forgive her.”

From where she stood beneath the gathered girls, the thoroughly chastised girl exclaimed, “I love you guys so much!” Tweek quietly thought that if Craig ever called him half those things, he wouldn’t ever tell the boy that he loved him so quickly. _Jesus, why would I say something like that to him in the first place??_

Putting her hands on her heart, Bebe smiled and said, “We love you too Heidi.”

As the other girls all chorused their forgiveness, Wendy looked up at Tweek and said, “Well, since you were so helpful in helping us figure this out, I guess we can help you after all.”

Around her, the other girls said, “Sunshine Sunshine!”

“Sparkle!” Wendy finished, banging her gavel against the table. “Tell the boys that we’ll see them tonight.”

And despite the zombies and the other terrifying things that were crowding his mind, Tweek managed a smile at this. Because at least things would be over soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? It was canon, and it's South Park.
> 
> I'm sad, no one comments anymore ;;w;; Oh well, I guess I can't have everything in the world XD
> 
> Also, 400,000 words.
> 
> also, I'll see you tomorrow.


	99. Only By Your Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG THANK
> 
> it's so close to being done I c r y.
> 
> Thank you to Pea who is the reason that this chapter is coming to you today instead of next week. Pfft, her drawing of Kyle was so wonderful, and I'm thankful that she exists and is around to be awesome. So yeah, give her kudos and I'll include a link to her drawing here when I can!
> 
> I also just want to say thank you to Ty and Phoe for hanging out with me and throwing encouragement my way while I wrote. And to Wren, for your nicely timed headcanons. All of you beautiful bastards are amazing and wonderful, and I hope to goodness that I can make all of you smile as much as you make me smile.
> 
> Enjoy.

It was like the calm before the storm.

Craig could hear them yelling, the other kids, the ones that were supposed to be attacking Clyde’s castle, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. His brain wasn’t working right, there was an unearthly silence over the castle as they waited for the inevitable, just like they’d been waiting since early that morning. But the wait was over. From where he stood at the top of the castle with Clyde, he could see the crowd that he’d soon be facing. There was no apprehension left in him however, there was only the cold, inevitable knowledge that this was it.

“It makes you wonder if we’re actually going to win,” Clyde said softly, his cape fluttering behind him in the breeze, his crown sitting lopsided on his head as he watched. Above them, the storm that had been brewing over the past few days let out a peal of thunder, as if to accent his words.

“We’re going to,” Craig said softly, his words as flat as ever. He wasn’t sure, to be honest, but he also knew that he no longer cared. After this was over, he was going to drag himself to Tweek’s house, apologize, and never do something like this again. Just one more battle, one more fight.

“They recruited the girls, apparently,” Clyde commented, almost like it was an afterthought. It was obvious what he was thinking, and Craig wished he could tell Clyde that it didn’t matter if Bebe fought against him, but he knew that it did. If he was asked to fight Tweek, he might not be able to move. How Clyde was still standing was beyond him.

“They might not have convinced all of them,” Craig attempted nonetheless, anything to keep Clyde’s spirits up. _Almost done, this is it, this is the last I’m ever going to have to see of this stupid fucking game that isn’t a game anymore. After this, I can forget it._ “You might not have to-”

“If she shows up, I won’t fight her,” Clyde admitted, cutting Craig off. “I just- I can’t. But I don’t think she’s here, she was too upset last time I talked to her.” Nodding, unsure what else he was supposed to say, Craig watched as a blob he was pretty sure was Cartman yelled something and the gathered kids yelled something in return.

“I should probably head down now,” Craig muttered, his eyes drifting towards the lower levels, where he was supposed to stand guard with Chris. Though Clyde insisted there was no way the resistance would get that far, he still wanted them there to be some of the last defenses. Well, if that’s where Clyde wanted him, then Craig wasn’t going to argue. He didn’t want to be on the ground floor either, and he certainly didn’t want to be near Clyde’s large barrel of alien goo. Maybe down where he didn’t have to deal with it was the best place for him.

“Yeah,” Clyde said vaguely, his eyes distant, his hand clenched tightly around the Stick of Truth. “I guess you should.” This was it, this was the end.

For a moment, Craig allowed himself to picture an entirely different scene. Tweek, sitting on the edge of the merrygoround, his small fingers clenched around the bar, his hair flying out in the breeze. He’d look over at Craig, with blurring yet still glowing green eyes, and he’d smile and laugh. In that moment, Craig could see the boy so vividly, it made his chest hurt. But then Clyde spoke, and it was gone.

“We’re going to win.”

“Of course dude.” Shaking himself, Craig headed down towards his post.

Stepping down through the dark, ominous hallways, past the confusingly tied up Mr. Slave, Craig finally pushed through into the main room and caught sight of Chris Donnelly, attempting to calm down one of the nazi zombie cows by petting it on the snout. “Oh, Craig, right on time~!” the boy called up, his usual cocky grin suffering slightly under the conditions. “Come to actually help for once?”

“Fuck off, like you’ve been doing much,” Craig grumbled, the tension in his shoulders loosening slightly. Swinging down from the upper level, Craig hit the floor feet first and strode over to Chris, who pulled his hands back from the zombie cow.

“True enough.” Shaking his head, he muttered, “You know, when I agreed to join Clyde, I somehow didn’t expect my future to be filled with nazis. It just… Never crossed my mind.” Snorting at Chris’s words, Craig found the boy’s own bitter chuckle to be telling.

“Yeah, neither did I, but I guess this is just how things are working out,” Craig muttered, walking over to the gate that separated them from the rest of the goings on. Technically, he wasn’t even able to get out. Less technically, he didn’t want to. “You think they’re going to charge soon?”

Chris laughed. “Kyle’s probably giving one of his speeches. I’d give it ten seconds.”

Raising an eyebrow, Craig deadpanned, “Ten, nine, eight-”

“You are such an _asshole,”_ Chris Donnelly informed him, even as he cracked his neck and grabbed for the hilt of his sword.

“Seven, six, five-” Craig continued, his own heart starting to pound in his chest as the joking countdown started to feel more real.

Joining in, Chris said, “Four.”

“Three,” Craig countered, his hands going for his own knives.

“Two,” Chris Donnelly’s mouth quirked up in a smirk.

“One.”

Nothing happened.

“Huh,” Chris muttered, laughing. “I guess I got my timing a little-”

From below them, there was a roar. Craig’s jaw tightened and he turned around before saying, “Actually, I think you were right on time.” Clyde’s yard was suddenly flooded with people as the resistance flowed in. Rising up from the shadows, Clyde’s army of darkness met them in battle. Swords clashed against stolen street signs, and soon there were screams and yells filling the air.

Standing next to him, Chris hissed out a curse through his teeth and muttered, “God, is this really what we’ve become?” His words were echoed by Craig’s thoughts, that and the chills running through him. Obviously the whole scene was giving him a nasty feeling in the pit of his stomach, but there was something that kept hitting him, like he should be noticing something and he wasn’t.

“Yeah, funny how little it takes to make us want to rip each other apart.” At the sound of that voice, both of them spun around to find a flutter of pink skirts flying in through one of the windows. As Kenny landed neatly on the balls of his feet and straightened, Craig’s face melted into an unimpressed deadpan, and Chris laughed, clearly more delighted than anything else at the Princess’s arrival. Curtsying, the boy dramatically said, “Lady McCormick, at your service. How may I be of help to the two of you today?”

“Shouldn’t you be betraying people right about now?” Craig asked, following the boy as he quickly scaled the rope ladder, leaving Chris to continue to watch the destruction below. “I mean, that was the whole plan, right?” In response to his words, Kenny spun around and patted his cheek lightly, an action which Craig took without reaction. He’d found that just letting Kenny do what he wanted worked out best for everyone involved. Maybe that wasn’t always the best policy, but it worked for now.

“Oh Fucker, you’re so cute when you’re worried about me.” Craig was about to protest and say that _fuck nno, I’m not worried about you at all,_ when Kenny quickly said, “I’m kidding, I _kid._ No need to look so constipated Craig.” Glancing out one of the barred windows, the boy hummed and murmured, “Look at all this destruction. You know, I might not even have to betray, you seem to be doing a fine job and making everything go to shit.”

“I didn’t want it to end this way,” Craig said, staring at the back of Kenny’s head and trying to say with his eyes what he couldn’t explain with his words. “I just wanted everything to be better, I wanted Tweek and I to be happy again. I wanted us to go back to normal.” At that, Kenny let out a short, bitter laugh before turning around to face him.

“Did you _really_ think that you could prevent the inevitable?” Kenny asked, his eyes dark even if his lips were stretched into a smile. “Did you think that you could wave your hands and make this go away Craig? I told you, it’s going to hurt. And guess what, I was right. It does hurt, doesn’t it?” Spreading his hands, trails of glitter following his movements, reflecting in the almost hellish light that came from behind him. “I know how it works Craig. I’m very rarely _wrong.”_

“I just wish someone had _warned_ me what the inevitable was,” Craig ground out, feeling helplessness rise up in his throat as the screams of battle got louder, closer. Goddamnit, he’d know that this was coming, but he hadn’t wanted to accept it. Now, he was forced to, and it fucking sucked.

Softly, Kenny said, “I tried, Tucker.” Running his hands along the side of the castle, passing Craig like a ghost, the boy continued, “I know what it’s like to be blindsided by shit like this, and I know how much it fucking _sucks._ So believe me, I tried to warn you. But I can only do so much. Even I didn’t think it would get this bad.”

“It’s going to get better,” Craig said flatly.

“With that attitude, maybe it will.” Softly chuckling, Kenny tipped his head back and sang, “Just remember to do what you want Craig, not what they want. Someone once told me that your heart was smarter than your brain, and I don’t know if they’re right, but I think they might be.” His eyes glittered as he gave Craig one last smile. “Don’t let your head get in the way of what your heart says is good.” Then he danced up the stairs towards the throne room and the other upper levels, and Craig was left alone with Chris Donnelly.

“Well Craig, it sounds like you’re fucked,” Chris Donnelly admitted, letting out a laugh. Watching as the boy climbed the ladder as well, Craig’s brows furrowed, but he didn’t answer. Shrugging his shoulders, the Ranger said, “I’m going to see what I can do with sniping people off from on the ramp. You keep watch down here. Call if you need me.”

As the boy left, Craig scaled down the ladder and stood in the middle of the room, trying to loosen his muscles for the fight that he was sure was coming. There was no way he’d get out of it, after all. He’d probably have to fight Cartman. Stan and Kyle too if he was unlucky. Would Butters bother to come up as well? Would they all make it that far? Would he end up fighting a bunch of kids he hardly knew?

He knew that there were sixth graders right outside of this place that would be able to defend him against ever having to fight anyone at all. That and a couple of vamp kids, for whatever that was worth. Chances were, he’d never even have to fight. But deep down, he knew that the odds were never in his favor. He was going to have to fight _someone_ it was just a question of who.

 _I hope I don’t have to fight Bebe._ Though he wasn’t as weak to her as Clyde was, obviously, Craig wasn’t sure if he’d have the wherewithal to hold her back. Especially if she said she was doing this for Clyde’s sake. Because the thing was, he’d believe her. Hell, he almost wanted someone to show up and tell him that they should stop Clyde, because he was too deep into this to do it himself. Closing his eyes, Craig attempted to pretend there weren’t zombie cows behind him, along with several nazi hobos, so that he could calm his mind and body.

_Whatever happens, it’s going to be over. Whatever happens, I’m not going to have to deal with this any longer._

“HEY WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Eyes flying open, Craig watched as one of the sixth graders ran out from the tower that Craig couldn’t see and down towards the small, shadowed forms outside of the gate.

“You are such a conformist, don’t you have anything more interesting to yell at us?”

“Hey, I was about to say that!”

Realizing that he recognized the voices, Craig ran over and threw on the outdoor lights that Clyde had mysteriously set up and found a crowd of first graders facing the sixth graders that were guarding the tower. Picking out the two who had spoken as Ike and Firkle of all people, Craig’s eyes widened as he searched out the people he knew would be there.

“Go go go! Come on, get that gate out of the way, don’t get distracted!” Momentarily distracted by Stan’s voice, Craig realized what was happening and drew his knives, attempting to look imposing as the sixth graders drew their own blades.

“We’re going to fucking cream you,” one of the sixth grade girls threatened, advancing on Ike. “You had better get out of here firsty, otherwise, you’re dead.” _Why are we fighting first graders, what’s going on?_

“You touch him, and I’ll murder you.” Before Craig’s eyes, Kenny’s little sister Karen slipped out from behind his field of vision and held up her sword, guarding Ike. “Go on, try me, I’d just love to knock you off of this tower.”

“We don’t care that you’re little, we’ll crush you!” One of the Vamp kids warned, his teeth rattling as he talked.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe we have to listen to you. You’re making me want to throw _myself_ off of the tower,” Firkle deadpanned, knocking the ash off of the tip of his cigarette.

“Craig?” The boy’s stomach dropped. As the other kids were distracted by the voice of Ruby Tucker, Craig felt his insides churn. His little sister, standing there in her full pirate costume. Removed from the gloom, her bright hazel eyes fixed on him in an unreadable display of emotion, Craig’s younger sister gripped her knife tighter and muttered, “I can’t believe you’d do this. You are a fucking _idiot.”_

“Guys, we don’t have time for chatting, can we please get a move on?” Stan called from wherever he was standing. “Someone do something!”

“You want us to do something?” Before Craig could answer Ruby or tell her to leave or say anything, one of the sixth graders stepped forward and set Ike sprawling across the wooden platform, knocking into the other kids. “How’s that for something?”

“Pirates,” Ike coughed, picking his head up off of the wood and glaring at the sixth graders with venom in his big eyes. “ATTACK!!”

As Craig watched, helpless to do anything inside of his self-made prison, the first graders threw themselves at the sixth graders. Karen and Ruby were instantly defending Ike as he went up against the head of this particular unit of fighters, and the others all took on their own targets as they attempted to break their way into the fort. One of the sixth graders caught Ruby’s face in a backhanded move that knocked her off of her feet, almost throwing her off of the tower entirely, and Craig felt his voice catch in his throat.

Craig didn’t care about much, but at that moment, he gave quite a few shits about what was happening to his sister.

“A little help here!” she grunted, her fingers going white-knuckled as she fought to keep ahold of the ledge. Noticing her vulnerability, a Vamp kid headed towards her, his club raised. Fearful that he was about to watch his sister be killed, Craig shook at the bars of the gate and let out a few choice words when it didn’t budge

Thankfully someone else heard him. Jerking his head around, Ike yelled, “Someone do something!”

There was a string of irritable French before Firkle grumbled, “You Posers are useless.” Kicking the vampire that was hovering over Ruby away like it was nothing, the youngest Goth offered Craig’s sister a hand with the comment of, “You’re just subjecting yourself to eternal suffering, but I guess it would suck if you died.”

The moment she was back on her feet, Craig called out, “Ruby, what the _hell_ are you doing here? Get out, you guys are going to get hurt!” Abruptly, he found himself ducking out of the way as an arrow whistled through the gate and almost hit him. “You’re not even supposed to be here!”

“Yeah, well we’re helping your sorry ass out so that you don’t get yourself killed,” Ruby retorted, her wooden sword flashing as she fought the sixth graders around her. “You should never have sided with Clyde, asshat.”

“Son of a bitch- Ruby, you’re going to _die!”_ Craig tried to impress upon her, even as the wind picked up and slammed against the side of Clyde’s castle. The storm was definitely coming, and Craig couldn’t do anything but watch as the first graders were forced to give ground. They were fighting as hard as they could, but there was no way they were going to beat the people they’d been thrown against. And Stan hadn’t even joined in, which sort of pissed Craig off to be perfectly honest. _The least you could do is help them!_

“Ignore him Rubes, we’ve got this!” Karen announced, her reckless ferocity mirroring her brother’s typical attitude to a T. Stabbing one of the vamp kids in the eye, the girl let out a growl and yelled, “If you wanted to stop her, maybe you should have been there, instead of raising people from the dead.”

“That wasn’t my idea!” Craig insisted, even as the girls were once more distracted by a more concerted effort from the opposition. Feeling desperation well up in his throat, Craig started to look around for an exit if only so he could scoop Ruby up and get her out of there. He didn’t want to fight a war where he had to watch his own sibling get hurt. Whoever had convinced her to fight was _cruel._

“Rupy, Kare-bear! Your left!” Ike shouted, his voice urgent. Looking, Craig could do nothing as both girls were knocked out of sight. Slamming his fist against the bars of the gate, Craig grit his teeth together and tried to see what had happened. _Damnit I can’t do anything! Clyde literally locked me in here, I’m stuck!!_

“Oh you motherfucker!” Obviously pissed about his friends getting hurt, Ike leapt up and literally tackled the kid who had hit them. Giving up on watching, needing to do something, Craig raced for the rope ladder, pulling it up behind him just in case they made it in. Racing for the window, Craig tried to figure out how to open it as he listened to the screams and yells of the fighting kids outside of the keep. _They’re going to die, they’re going to kill my sister, I have to do something!_

“RESPECT MAH AUTHORITY!” Turning, Craig found that someone had already beat him. Both Kyle and Cartman had reached the upper level and were quickly depatching the remaining sixth graders, allowing the kids to leave.

“Ike you had better not say that again I’ll tell mom!” Kyle yelled after his brother as he vanished up one of the ramps to go and open the gate at last. Crouching at the top of the landing, ready for whatever was coming, Craig contemplated finding Chris before discarding the idea. No, he had the zombies, he could handle this alone.

“Love you too Big Brother!” Ike called after him.

Then the gate was lifting, and Craig’s eyes narrowed. He was ready for this, he was ready for-

“C-Craig!”

For the second time that night, Craig felt his stomach drop. But this time, it just kept falling. Because standing there, his hair a wild halo, his eyes wide and fierce, his hands clenched around the handle of his club, was Tweek Tweak. There were no words left, Craig’s entire body just stopped working for a moment, he couldn’t even breathe. All he could do was stare and try to remember what he was supposed to do.

“Tweek.” The word came out as a hoarse whisper. His knives were still clutched in his hands, but he might as well have not been holding them at all for all the good they were going to do him. _What is he doing here?_ But Craig couldn't get the words to come out, he just stared down at Tweek and tried to understand what was going on.

"Yeah, m-me," Tweek bit out, his words sounding bitter. As the gates under Craig lifted, their natural protocol if the gate were to lift, allowing the zombies to start to goose step into the room, the blond yelled, "G-get down here and fight me! I'm going to -rrr- KICK YOUR ASS!!" Heart racing, leaping into his throat as his insides revolted and died, Craig clenched his fists and straightened his back. _He hates me,_ Craig thought, his breath coming faster. _I really did screw things up, he honestly..._

"I am a level fourteen thief, loyal only to the Dark Lord," Craig said, his voice cold, dead, and devoid of emotion. He felt broken, and in those cracks, an irrational anger rose up. _I only ever wanted to protect him, and now he hates me._ "I am his chief assassin, and you, Tweek, will perish, here and now." Even though it tore at his gut to do so, he held his head high and glared down at Tweek, hiding the pain in favor of blank determination. "Fight me at your own risk."

"Do it," Tweek pushed out, his trembling almost completely gone. "I d-dare you."

As Kyle, Cartman and  skidded into the room, Craig leaped down in front of the zombies and raised his knives. “If you want a fight, then you’ll get one.” Before he could stop himself, Craig leaped at Tweek.

His knife met the steel of Tweek’s pan, and instantly, Tweek was yelling at him. “I c-can’t believe you’d do this Craig!!” Knocking the boy back, using a burst of strength to do so, Craig ignored the sight of the other boys attacking his zombie minions. “Jesus!” Tweek yelled from the floor, stumbling to his feet. “Y-you’re going to get the whole town _killed!”_

“I don’t care, I just wanted to help Clyde!” Craig yelled back, flying at Tweek once more. His blades flashed, but this time, Tweek was faster. The frying pan connected with his side, driving the air from Craig’s lungs and leaving him coughing on the ground. Rolling to avoid another strike, Craig lashed out with his blades, attempting to get Tweek on the ground as well but to no avail.

“Th-then why didn’t you let me help!?” Tweek demanded, his eyes burning with anger and fire so bright that Craig feared he’d go blind. “Wh-why did you keep pushing me away Craig, oh god I COULD HAVE -NGH- MADE THINGS BETTER!!” _Stop saying this, stop talking like this!_

Rising to his feet, Craig charged for Tweek with a cry of, “You couldn't have!” His knives caught Tweek across the stomach, and he could just _feel_ the bruises he was leaving and it made him want to die inside. “You’re not able to handle this, I am.”

“I KILLED SOMEONE CRAIG!!” Tweek suddenly shrieked, startling the boy into taking a step back. Pressing his advantage, Tweek came at him with a swing and it was only Craig’s reflexes that saved him from a caved in skull. “H-he was a zombie, but I s-still pulled the trigger.” Tweeks eyes were full of pain and Craig desperately wished he could make it go away, until the ugly head of anger reared up and reminded him that Tweek was fighting him, and that meant that anything they’d had before was gone.

“I don’t care!” Craig said, his knives flashing as he kept trying to get Tweek to give ground. It had been a long time since their last fight, but they were still evenly matched. Even with their weapons, neither of them was backing down. “I’m just so _sick_ of watching you be forced to play this fucking game when all it does is hurt you. I’m sick of feeling powerless!”

“When you throw me out -grrr- I FEEL POWERLESS!!” Tweek shouted back, his frying pan flashing in the distorted lights. There was a roll of thunder from outside and Craig’s hip exploded with pain as Tweek’s weapon connected once again. “You -rrr- k-keep doing this and I can’t take it anymore, I’m done!!”

“Look around you there are _zombies!”_ Craig yelled, his eyes as wild as Tweek’s as he attempted to keep the blond from crushing him. Several quick jabs to the boy’s kidneys gave him a moment’s breathing room so he could say, “God, they’re just like the things from the Alien ship, I know how much you hate Aliens, I didn’t want you-”

He was cut off as he was forced to duck Tweek’s frying pan once more. “I d-don’t _care_ about the Aliens!!” Tweek screeched, his green eyes conveying so much pain and anguish that Craig wished he could unsee. “As long as you were there -ghn- I’D HAVE BEEN F-FINE!” _You don’t get to say that, it hurts too much._

“How was I supposed to know that?!” Craig demanded, his voice coming out as choked as he continued to fight desperately against Tweek. “How was I supposed to know what you would have been fine with. I just want to protect you!” As he succeeded in knocking Tweek to the ground once more, Craig stood over him and panted, “I know it’s wrong, I know that I shouldn’t, but I fucking care about you.” There, he’d said it.

As the anger drained away, leaving him feeling like he just wanted to die, Tweek got up from the floor and raced at him. Craig couldn’t even summon up the will to raise his blade as the boy flattened him, tossing him to the ground and landing on top of him. Frying pan forgotten, Tweek planted his hands on either side of Craig’s head and yelled, “THEN FUCKING ACT LIKE IT!!”

The battle around them faded from Craig’s head as he pushed out in an unsteady voice, “I’m trying, but I’ve never done this before. I don’t know how.” Everything hurt, every breath he took made him feel like he wanted to die. Closing his eyes, Craig got ready to accept his fate, knowing without having to be told that this was it.

All he wanted was Tweek.

All he couldn’t have, was Tweek.

“I th-thought you told me to fight with you, Craig, not against you.” At Tweek’s broken words, Craig felt something hot and wet hit his face. _Tears,_ Craig realized, as his heart shattered and something else rose up from the ashes. _Because he doesn’t hate me, he just-_

“That’s all I ever wanted,” Craig admitted softly, his voice no more than a whisper. “That’s all I ever wanted.”

Leaning upward, reaching towards his blond spaz, Craig crushed the boy in a hug that was instantly reciprocated by Tweek. As he felt the boy’s heartbeat against his own chest, Craig finally felt like his own breathing eased. _I don’t have to save him from everything, I just have to be his friend._

“Help me stop Clyde,” Craig whispered into Tweek’s ear, his voice coming out hoarse, like he’d been crying as well. “Help me fight these assholes, and then go up there and stop Clyde before he hurts himself.”

“Ngh- I th-thought you’d never ask,” Tweek squeaked back, his voice so much stronger than Craig would have ever believed possible. Getting to his feet, pulling Tweek up with him, the Noirette grabbed for his knives and found Tweek already holding his frying pan. Staring over at Stan, Kyle, and Cartman, who had all stopped moving after defeating the zombies so they could watch in horror, Tweek grinned, and Craig managed a slight smile of his own.

“Oh my god,” Kyle muttered in the momentary silence. “You have got to be shitting me.”

“No _pe.”_ As one, they both leaped at the other boys.

For the first time in ages, Craig found a swell of joy run through him as he attacked Stan. The Ranger was strong, but he had _Tweek_ with him, and that meant that nothing could stop him, not even these people. Knives flashing quickly, avoiding the spells Cartman was trying to cast, Craig all but kicked Stan into the wall of the castle before catching the rising boy with his blades. From the corner of his eye, he watched as Tweek hit Kyle, sending him sprawling across the floor.

“SORRY!!” Tweek yelped, even as he attacked again, his movements fluid and almost beautiful. As Stan rushed to help his friend, Craig cut him off and tossed him to the ground once more, finally killing him in game. Turning to Tweek, who had already dispatched Kyle, the boys both looked over at Cartman, who was backing up till he hit the wall.

“Tweek, y-you’re on our side, right?” Cartman asked, his eyes wide and terrified.

“Think again, f-fatass,” Tweek spat, before launching himself forward and clocking the boy over the head with his frying pan. As he fell to the ground unconscious, Tweek turned to Craig and grinned widely. “I think he’s dead~” the boy said mischievously, his eyes glittering.

Even though he knew that it was only in game, Craig smiled as well and said, “I’m proud of you.”

“I know!” Tweek announced, and Craig felt his heart swell.

“Not to break up your party or anything, but what’s going on??” Turning, both boys found Bebe heading for them. Her hair was everywhere, and her eyes were wide, but they were full of determination. Crossing her arms, she said, “Well, to be honest, you two were just the people I was looking to find.”

“W-what’s going on?” Tweek asked, twitching as he flicked his eyes between Bebe, who was still breathing heavily from her climb, and Craig, who had no fucking clue what the girl was talking about.

“Clyde,” she explained, constantly clearing the confusion. “He’s still up there, I need to get to him.” Looking at Craig, the girl said, “You told me you were going to end this game? Well you had better fucking do it Craig Tucker, otherwise, I’m going to have words with you.”

Glancing down at Tweek, who nodded his head fervently, Craig cocked his head back and said in a confident monotone, “Let’s go save our idiot.”

Together, they could do anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHAPTER TOMORROW BECAUSE STRIPE #5 IS AWESOME.
> 
> also, just wanted to say thank you for all the comments last chapter ;;w;; guys, you almost made me cry you were so nice. Now, I have work. Fuck me dry like an american pie, I'm screwed.


	100. Take Him Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I just died and came back. Holy bejessus, the fuck? Am I even real anymore?
> 
> Thank you Stripe #5 for all of your artwork. Once I give my fingers a break, I'll come back and link your art, which is all adorable as fuck. Please do more of it, I will honestly love you so much if you do. (Not that I don't already love you, because I do.)
> 
> Thank you to Angel for the encouragement. Thank you to everyone else for sticking with me through this crazy journey.
> 
> Enjoy.

Tweek’s brain still hadn’t caught up with his heart. His whole body was thrumming with excitement, and electricity seemed to be coursing through him, right down to his fingertips. He couldn’t remember a time before this where he’d felt so alive, he couldn’t even begin to imagine how anything else could compare. And it was no mystery as to why he was so happy, no, the answer stood beside him.

Craig’s cloak fluttered behind him, his eyes were full of determination, and his posture was strong. But more than anything, Tweek could feel the complete mental connection to the boy that he’d been longing for since they’d lost it a couple months ago. It was like he _knew_ exactly what was running through Craig’s head, and he was sure that the Noirette could read him perfectly as well. After working things out in such a definite way, it was like the air was clear once more. Even though they were still in the midst of battle, Tweek felt _okay_ and he hadn’t felt like that in a long time.

Of course, he was still worried, because Clyde was still losing his mind, and they still had to stop the war from continuing. There were zombies _everywhere_ someone had to do something about that! It was a lot of pressure, but he had Craig beside him, he could do it.

“I’m glad that you two are helping,” Bebe told them, quickly running a hand through the tangled mess of her hair. “I don’t know if he’s even going to be able to be reasoned with, but I have to try.”

Craig nodded stoutly. “Ye _p,_ we’ll get him to see sense, even if we have to smack it into him.” Bebe managed a breathless giggle at that, but Tweek’s mind was already in other places.

Tossing his head around, the blond realized that they were effectively trapped and he found himself screeching, “Oh god, b-but how are we supposed to get to Clyde?!” The ladder that they would normally have used to climb up to the next level was rolled up and stuck at the top of the higher level. “Ngh- I haven’t spent enough time here, I don’t know how to get around it.”

“I know how.” As one, the three of them glanced over and found Stan stumbling to his feet, his bruises obviously causing him trouble. Tweek’s first thought was that they were supposed to be dead, but then the boy noticed Butters bouncing up and down, trying to see through the window while he cast spells, and it made sense. “I mean, it’s not the quick way, but it’ll get us there.”

“Look,” said Bebe, striding over and helping Kyle to his feet as the boy struggled to regain his bearings. “As long as it gets us to Clyde, then I don’t care if it takes longer.” Casting a look at Cartman, Bebe glanced at Tweek and said, “You really… Hit him hard, didn’t you?”

Shivering, Tweek struggled to keep his face straight, even though he sort of wanted to giggle. Because admittedly, the face that the unconscious wizard was making was pretty humorous. “I -ghn- guess I did,” he mumbled, as if he didn’t know just how much pent up emotion he’d released with that single blow. Bebe stared at him a moment longer, but Craig snorted and Tweek was gratified to feel the boy’s fingers ruffling his hair.

“Well, it’s not like that fat ass would be very useful anyway,” muttered Kyle, glancing over his shoulder and giving Butters a thumbs up. “Let’s get out of here. Have any of you seen Kenny?” Shaking his head violently, Tweek looked up at Craig and found a weird look in the boy’s eyes that cleared a moment later.

“Nope,” Craig answered stoutly. “Haven’t seen him.”

“Well, I hope he didn’t fall off or something,” Kyle muttered.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Bebe dismissed, walking back towards Tweek and Craig before looking around at the nazi zombie corpses still littering the ground and sucking in a breath. “Do you know if there are many more of those?” she asked, her eyes worried. At her words, Tweek stifled the instinctive shriek that rose up. No, he’d be able to handle them. Sure they were terrifying, but he had Craig with him, and he’d dealt with them before. He was strong enough, he just had to do it.

“Clyde’s got them everywhere,” Craig told the girl, even as he started to turn in a circle, as if looking for something. Tweek was somehow unsurprised when the boy strode over to the wall and grabbed one of the dangerous looking metal spikes that seemed to be everywhere. After a few good tugs, it gave, and he hefted it, his eyes dark. “But they kind of fall apart if you hit them hard enough, so just… Stay behind Tweek and I.”

Feeling a bubble of joy rise up at the inclusion of his name in the protectors of the group, Tweek twitched and gave Bebe a firm look. “Y-yeah! We’ve dealt with them before this, they aren’t that s-scary once you get used to them.” Compared to Aliens, they were nothing, and if he knew that Craig was behind him, ready to help if he needed it, the blond knew they wouldn’t be a problem at all.

“Good, then let’s go,” Bebe said firmly, before heading towards the gate, which had fallen once more. Tweek let out a squeak at the sight, but Craig glanced his way and raised an eyebrow as if asking, _are you going to stand there, or are you going to help._ Instantly leaping to help, Tweek grabbed the gate and with Craig’s assistance, they managed to push it up enough to let the others through. Stan was still limping, and Kyle was leaning most of his weight on the raven-haired boy, but Tweek privately thought that after everything they’d put them through, they sort of deserved it.

“If we walk around here, we should be able to get to a platform which leads up to that antechamber to the throne room,” Stan managed, pointing a bit aimlessly as he gave directions. Nodding, a little lost, Tweek gave up trying to listen and instead almost ran headlong into Butters, who ran towards them as well.

“Have y’ fellas seen Kenny anywhere?” he asked nervously, rubbing his knuckles together. Craig looked like he was about to answer when the bleach blond was distracted by Stan and Kyle, who he instantly started worrying over. “Y’all are all bruised up!” he exclaimed, hurrying around them in a worried circle. “Well what happened?”

“They happened,” Kyle muttered sourly, pointing over at Tweek and Craig, the later of whom shrugged his shoulders while the former let out an involuntary shriek and tugged at his hair with a hand. _It’s not like they haven’t hurt us before!! We deserved to get back at them!_ Was it the nicest thing to think, no, but he was so sick of being nice and getting walked all over. Right now, he was strong. He had to be if he wanted to help Clyde.

Worriedly looking between them, Butters said, “Well, I hope that we can all get along now an’ stuff, it’d be pretty sad if we ended up just fightin’ each other again.” That much Tweek could agree with. Glancing over at Bebe, who was obviously distressed, the blond decided that someone had to take charge otherwise they’d probably never get anywhere.

Stepping forward, he pushed out, “W-we should get going!” Glancing over at Craig, Tweek quickly hurried forward, dodging around the side of the castle and running along the dangerous path that would take them hopefully up to Clyde. Behind him, Tweek could feel Craig’s shadowy presence protecting his back, making sure that nothing snuck up on them. Like this, able to face forward knowing that nothing would catch him from behind, Tweek’s usually hyperactive mind settled.

As the rounded another corner, several zombie hobos stumbled towards them in an awkward goose step, their arms extended and unfamiliar German words tumbling from their mouths. Without hesitation, Tweek hefted his frying pan and smacked the closest one across the knees. It tumbled to the ground almost at once. Fingers reached for him, but then Craig’s iron spire lashed out, catching the creature and tossing it off of the platform.

Tearing through the remaining zombies like they were tissue paper, Tweek clenched his teeth against the shattering of bones, telling himself that they were monsters and this didn’t matter. Deep down, he knew that it did matter, but he also wasn’t about to let his friends get hurt. If they got past him and Craig, then Bebe and the others would be vulnerable. So he kept fighting, throwing his all into his actions and allowing Craig to cover his blind spots.

“We should be almost there,” Stan called from the back, his voice lost to the wind whipping over the scene. Twisting his neck, Tweek gave him a jerky thumbs up before pushing forward, hurrying towards goodness knew what. At least Craig was beside him, no matter what happened, he’d be fine as long as the Noirette was beside him.

Taking the next turn, almost catching Craig’s cloak to his face, Tweek’s mouth fell open at what he saw. Kenny was standing there in the middle of the platform, wig blowing in the breeze, hands held out as if to catch the wind as he called, “Don’t tell me that we’re alike, you are _nothing_ like me, you don’t even know _who_ you’re talking to!”

Only just taking note of the heavily armed men that were surrounding the platform, Tweek let out a shriek that drew the attention of the man Kenny was talking to. As the mostly naked man stepped out, he called, “Ah, how wonderful of you to join us, I was just talking to your Princess about her future and about the people that she needs to save.”

“Oh can the bullshit!” Kyle yelled, stepping forward with Stan’s help. “Kenny’s not a princess and who the hell are you?!”

“Kenny? W-what’s going on?” Butters asked nervously, his voice faint against the storm brewing above them. Huddling closer to Craig, Tweek helped the boy block the others from getting any closer. They weren’t armed, they’d die if they got hit. Actually, they all would, but Tweek had a sense that Craig and he would be okay with dying, whereas the others would not.

Unexpectedly, Kenny laughed. “Oh man, this just gets better and better, doesn’t it?” Turning, he grinned at Tweek, a manic, slightly crazed look that made the blond shiver. “And you even brought my bestest friends too. Kyle, Stan, I’m dissapointed you didn’t drag the fatass along with you, but I suppose we can’t have everything.”

Behind Kenny, the man yelled out, “Don’t you get it Princess Kenny, the world has gotten a lot more complicated, and we need you to help us. This isn’t the first time a UFO has crashed in to earth, but it certainly will be the-”

“Are you really still talking?” Kenny asked cheekily, his eyebrows raising. “I told you, give me a minute to think about it.” Turning back to the others, Kenny’s eyes narrowed in on Tweek and the spastic blond twitched hard. “Look at you Tweeky, finally settled your differences with Tucker. I’m so proud of you, and here I thought I’d have to baby you the whole way through. It’s amazing how long it takes for you two to get anything done.”

Feeling a terrible settling in his gut, Tweek was hardly surprised when he heard Craig growl, “Okay McCormick, we get it, we were stupid. But right now, you’re the one who’s acting like a fucking idiot so why don’t you take a step down and-”

Kenny cut him off. “You don’t seem to get it, do you?” He shook his head. “Oh, I know, it seems so crazy, but you see, I’m already fucked, so why not have some fun with it.” Before any of them could ask what he was talking about, the blond lifted his arm, showing the green bite that was indeed slowly spreading the color through him.

“Kenny, just-” Stan shook his head and called, “Please don’t listen to him, just come back over here and stop this.”

“You think I know this dude?” Kenny asked, swaying slightly in the wind. “Hell no! I’ve been planning this for ages! Come on, the ultimate betrayal. Not just of all of you, but also of Clyde. That makes me, like, a triple traitor. That’s got to be one of the most interesting ways I’ve gone out to date.” _He’s lost his mind,_ Tweek realized, the idea making him shriek and clutch tighter to Craig’s arm. _What is he even talking about?! Jesus, is he turning into a zombie??_

“Kenny, please don’t do this,” Butters begged, his voice desperate.

“Sorry, Butterfly,” Kenny said, his voice honestly sounding regretful. “But I don’t have much of a choice. I’ve got to do it.”

“Do what?” Bebe suddenly snapped, sounding incredibly impatient. “What’s even going on?”

“Yeah,” Kyle agreed. “I’m lost, can someone please explain what I missed?”

“To find the answer, we must look to the past.” At the sound of that deep voice, Tweek’s head jerked to the side only to find Morgan Freeman of all people ducking out from behind a stack of crates. Somehow, he was unsurprised. This was South Park after all.

“Morgan Freeman?” Stan asked, obviously confused.

“Oh for the love of-” Bebe muttered.

“Princess Kenny was born a half-orc,” the buttery voice continued to explain, a pleasant smile on his face. “Who’s entire village was wiped out by the Humans and Elves.” Craig’s arm wrapped around Tweek’s shoulders, preventing him from screaming and interrupting the explanation. As if this were all completely normal, Morgan Freeman said, “You see, when Humans and Elves lived _together_ in the forests of Hollow Falls, an Elven queen fell in love with an orc known as Dandar. The first one to possess the Stick of Truth.”

“It’s okay,” Craig murmured to the shivering Tweek. “Just let it happen. I’ve found that fighting it doesn’t help.”

Lifting a finger, Morgan Freeman continued to explain in that voice that would have made God cry, “They loved in secret, and had a child. A beautiful girl, a girl who watched as everyone she loved was killed in cold blood.”

Kenny shrugged as if to say, _what can you do?_

“And that is why she waited… and plotted… all this time to defeat you and take the Stick from the Lord of Darkness,” Morgan Freeman finished pleasantly, his voice magically and majestically carrying above the wind. “For Princess Kenny is the true heir to the Stick of Truth.”

“O-oh,” Kyle stammered, his voice conveying his total overwhelming disbelief.

“That’s actually pretty cool,” Stan admitted.

“Just one question Mr. Freeman,” Bebe said from the back, sounding a little less impatient and a little more confused in general. “How come every time something convoluted needs explaining, you show up?”

“Because,” the voice of the angels said, still smiling pleasantly. “Every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle.” True to his words, a new freckle appeared on his cheek, and his already gentle smile seemed to become a little more heavenly.

“That’s real nice of you Morgan,” Kenny said, rolling his neck, which Tweek realized in horror was definitely looking green. “Seriously dude, come and narrate my life any time you want, but that’s not actually the reason I’m doing this.” As the green started to rot away at the boy’s face, Kenny grinned and said, “I’m just sick of certain assholes getting away with everything.”

“Kenny, we just need to get to Clyde,” Craig said, his flat voice ringing out past the storm. “Just step aside, please.”

“Oh come on Craig, I’m not going to stop you and Tweeky, not after all of the work I did to get you two back together!” the Princess exclaimed, definitely stumbling as the green took over the rest of his face. “I’m just going to get back at a certain pair of Elves, and when I’m finished with them, I’m going to find the fatass and explain to him exactly what he can do with those fat hands of his.”

“N-no!” Breaking away from Craig, Tweek stepped forward and lifted his frying pan. “We’re not going to l-let you hurt anyone Kenny! You’re a zombie right now -rrr- you’ll kill them!” Even though he’d been tormented by the others for years, he wasn’t going to let Kenny hurt them. Besides, Kenny was their friend, he just didn't know what he was talking about. He didn’t know what he was doing, if he was thinking clearly, he wouldn’t hurt any of them.

As if to back up this idea, Kenny muttered something in German before clearing his throat and saying, “Come on Tweekers, don’t make me hurt you. I’m stronger than you, you know that.” Wagging a finger, letting out one of those horrible laughs that sounded dead, Kenny insisted, “Just let me pass, you won’t have to deal with me.”

“No.” Craig’s firm voice made Tweek’s hold on his frying pan tighten. “McCormick, they might be assholes, but so are you, and you don’t deserve to die for it anymore than they do.”

“That’s it Princess Kenny!” the government guy insisted, pumping his fists up and down. “Stop them!”

“Shut up,” Kenny said flatly. There was a flash, and the boy’s mirror whipped out before the government guy went sprawling, skidding to the edge of the platform and slipping off of the side. Flexing his fingers, Kenny said, “Huh, that’s new.” Grinning at Tweek and Craig, his blue eyes turned red by the poison coursing through him, Kenny beckoned them forward and said, “Come on, give me a challenge for once.”

He didn’t want to, but after catching Craig’s solid, grim look, Tweek understood that they didn’t have a choice. With a yell that tore from his throat like a wild animal, Tweek launched himself at Kenny. _I’m sorry Kenny, but I have to protect my friends._

His frying pan was stopped by the boy’s hand mirror. “Oh come on Tweeky, did you think it would be that easy?” Almost entirely throwing the boy backwards, Kenny whipped around and blocked Craig’s quick, efficient strikes, laughing as he did so. “I’m a _zombie_ Fucker, Sieg Heil and all that shit, come on, make me _bleed.”_ _It’s not him saying this stuff, this is just the poison,_ Tweek told himself, leaping at Kenny from behind. _That’s it._

“We don’t w-want to hurt you!!” Tweek’s frying pan connected with Kenny’s back, knocking the zombified boy into Craig, who went tumbling. Feeling his heart leap into his throat as Kenny used the opportunity to deal a painful looking blow to the side of Craig’s head, Tweek jumped forward and pushed the boy off of the Noirette.

“Come on Kenny, I know you, don’t be an ass,” Craig grunted, his own weapon coming around in a sweeping motion. Unfortunately, Kenny just caught it and pushed it away from him, throwing Craig off balance slightly. “These are your friends, shithead, don’t hurt them.”

“Like you’ve ever followed that advice, Fucker,” Kenny croaked, his voice sounding distorted, like the virus was eating away at his insides. “Look at you, you’re as bad as me, always hurting people.” Turning to Tweek, the boy cooed, “And you Tweeky, think you could stand on your own without a million people around you to act as your therapists? Hah, that’s actually funny. I made myself laugh.”

Whimpering, Tweek kept advancing on the boy, even though his mind was screaming. “You don’t mean that Kenny, you’re just h-hurt right now. You’re a -ghn- zombie, but you’ll get better!” Did he? Well, he had to believe that he did, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to keep those insidious words from slipping through his mind.

“I DON’T GET BETTER!!” Suddenly, the sandy blond leaped at Tweek, and the boy let out a scream before Craig’s iron spike shot out, slamming across Kenny’s ribs, throwing the boy back. Tweek could _hear_ the crack of bones breaking, and it made him want to tear his hair out. Coughing, the zombie stumbled around and muttered, “I never get better. This is it, but at least I’m going to go down fighting.”

Recognizing how this was going, Tweek launched himself forward just as Kenny did as well. Meeting him almost in the air, Tweek threw all of his confusing emotions into fighting the boy. He could feel Kenny’s hand mirror connecting with his skin, but Tweek’s strikes were somehow harder. And when Kenny almost took his head off, Craig was there, helping him, defending him. It was horrible, but as Tweek watched their attacks leave actual cuts in Kenny’s skin, he realized that they were going to win.

He didn’t want to win like this, he didn’t want to win this battle, but he couldn’t stop. Not if Kenny wasn’t going to. The same determination was there on Craig’s face, the bitter, pained ruthlessness that they were both being forced to show, and it killed Tweek to see it. Craig was terrified of becoming a monster, but if this case, they had to stop a monster, so maybe a little bit of monstrousness was alright. Matching his movements to Craig’s, driving Kenny back, Tweek felt a horrible power run through him, making his whole body feel like it was on fire.

“Give it up Kenny!” Craig yelled, his voice rising above the howling gusts rolling over the platform. “You can’t win!” Was he begging Kenny to stop? Tweek felt like the should be. There was greenish blood everywhere, and Kenny was obviously dying, but he kept fighting. Vicious to the end.

“Jesus just g-go back to normal!” Tweek yelled, his frying pan swinging once more at Kenny’s head. “PLEASE!!” It was a split second thing, almost too fast for the blond to see it. One moment, the zombie Kenny was dodging out of the way, and the next, he froze and his eyes widened and Tweek’s weapon connected with the side of his head, sending him flying.

Both him and Craig stood there, waiting for Kenny to get back up, but when it became clear that he wasn’t going to, the fight went out of them both. From behind them, there was the voice of Butters who whimpered, “I- I think ‘e’s dead!”

“Oh my god, they killed Kenny!” Stan exclaimed, almost like he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“You bastards,” Kyle muttered, horrified.

Stomach lurching, Tweek suddenly found himself stumbling over to Kenny, his heart thumping in his chest. Even after everything, he couldn’t _not_ go to the boy, who had always been there for him, even before Craig, even when other people had brushed him off. As he fell to his knees beside the body, he saw that the green was leeching out of Kenny’s face, and his skin was going from a poisoned hue to ashen and pale. Unexpectedly, Kenny’s eyes opened and he smiled up at Tweek like he wasn’t dying. “Kenny-” Tweek pushed out.

“You fucking asshole, McCormick,” Craig muttered, his voice sounding thick. Dropping to the ground beside Kenny as well, the Noirette pulled the dying boy’s head onto his lap and growled, “What the hell was that supposed to be, huh? Attacking us like that? Fuck you, you’re not allowed to die.”

Looking over the boy’s injuries, at the diseased blood slowly turning back to the proper reddish hue, Tweek whispered, “I’m s-sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Nah, don’t be like that Tweekers,” Kenny insisted, his tiara falling off of his head and clattering to the ground at the movement. “You did what you had to do. Sorry, that zombie bite really-” He coughed. “Really messed with me there. Happens, you know?” After everything they’d been through, after all the times that Tweek had thought he’d seen Kenny die only to find out it was fake, this was somehow worse. Because this was most definitely real, and he couldn’t believe that he was losing the boy.

“Jesus, I just d-didn’t want you to hurt anyone!” Tweek said, holding back the tears that were threatening to escape him. He couldn’t believe that this was happening, and the pain made him want to break down, but somehow he knew that he couldn’t. Not now. “Y-you weren’t- You’re not thinking clearly.”

“Nope, not thinking at all,” Kenny agreed, a faint smile. “Thanks Tweeky, you’re keeping me honest. That’s what I would have done if I’d known what I was doing.” His head lolled on Craig’s lap, and the Noirette frustratedly put his hands on either side of the boy’s head so that he could stare down into his eyes.

“Don’t you fucking die, okay. Fuck you Kenny, fuck you so much, don’t do this to us. Don’t do that to Butters. Don't do that to  _me._ Your friends are here, you’re not-” Unexpectedly, the boy’s eyes flew open and he jerked up out of Craig’s lap, even though he was obviously not okay. Shaking himself, the sandy blond turned and patted Craig’s cheek lightly before ruffling Tweek’s hair with a soft smile.

“Who said anything about dying, Fucker, I’m fine. I’m completely alright.” Struggling to his feet, the boy wiped some of the blood out of his eyes before letting loose a musical laugh. “I’m just gonna go lie down for a while. Go save Clyde, goodness knows he needs you.” Almost floating away, Kenny drifted towards Butters and gently touched his forehead to the frozen boy’s hair before walking past him and vanishing.

Turning, shaking from his trance, Butters called, “K-kenny!” But the boy was already gone, leaving them alone with the wind and the threatening rain.

Noticing the armed guards still standing around, Tweek shakily nudged Craig, who shook himself from his trance and stared around at them. “What are you waiting for?” he asked, his voice still scratchy. “Get rid of the fucking zombies before they destroy this place.”

“Uh…” one of the closest guards mumbled.

Pushing herself out of her own trance, Bebe clearly said, “You heard him, do your job!”

As the men mobilized, leaving in a hurry, the girl took a deep breath and walked forward. Passing Tweek and Craig, she turned towards them and said, “We need to get going. Otherwise, we might be too late.”

“But Kenny-” Stan started.

“He’ll be fine, you heard him, he said he was going to lie down.” Narrowing her eyes, the girl, who really looked like a Valkyrie as she called, “We came here to save South Park? Well then we should do it, instead of standing around and pretending that the war is over just because one of our friends is hurt. Come on!”

Summoning his strength, Tweek grabbed Kenny’s tiara and turned to Craig, who heaved himself to his feet as well. “She’s right,” Craig called, his voice steadying out. “Let’s go.”

As they followed Bebe, who led them up yet another staircase, Tweek was almost relieved to see the antechamber of the throne room. Who he wasn’t as excited to see was Stan’s dad, who hurried over to them before dropped to his knees before Butters. “Thank goodness, my favorite kid here. I need your help.”

Staring in confusion at his own dad, Stan looked forward and Tweek, Craig, and Bebe before saying, “You guys go on ahead, we’ll help my dad.” Nodding once, Craig caught Tweek’s hand in a warm grasp and pulled him along after Bebe, who hurried back out into the wind. Not letting himself be distracted by the sight of the ground looming beneath him, Tweek followed, his feet carrying him even when his body felt ready to give out.

As thunder rolled and lightning flashed, the three of them skidded to a stop in front of the throne of Clyde. The boy was sitting there, surrounding by warriors, the Stick of Truth in his hand. A manic smile had claimed his lips, and in his free hand, a syringe full of the green goo was held. _Oh god, he’s going to use that on himself!_ Tweek thought in terror, his blood going cold. _We can’t let that happen!_

“So, you’ve finally got here,” Clyde said, his voice a long, low drawl. Standing there before him, Tweek felt the tears once more threaten to overwhelm him but he forced them back.

“Just drop the Stick, Clyde,” Craig growled, his tone dark. “Stop this, I’m an idiot for letting you get this far.”

“But don’t you see Craig?” Clyde asked, getting to his feet and spreading his arms wide. “It’s all so amazing! Cartman? Kyle? Everyone else, they’re all gone! We’ve almost won.”

“Th-this isn’t winning!” Tweek insisted, his eyes wide and terrified. “Please Clyde, don’t -rrr- do this to us!” His heart was thumping so loudly, he could hear it in his throat. One of his best friends looked like they were on the peak of madness, and after what happened with Kenny, he couldn’t watch anyone else suffer for it. “Just g-go home.”

“I AM HOME!” Clyde yelled, his eyes wild. “I got thrown out, I got walked all over, but finally, I’m the one doing the walking over other people. They thought that they could stop me, well I’ll show them!” Lifting the tube of green goo, the boy insisted, “Once I inject myself with this, I’ll be able to get back at everyone who’s ever hurt me! Hurt you and Craig!”

“We don’t want this, you fucking idiot!” Craig called back. “Just drop that shit Clyde, you’re going to get yourself killed. That’s not fucking taco sauce and you know it.” Clenching his fingers around Craig’s hand tightly, Tweek twitched violently and nodded his head, praying that Clyde would just understand already before he got himself hurt.

“I won’t die, Craig,” the boy insisted, the crazed gleam in his eyes plain to Tweek. “I’ll be fine, trust me. Things are going to get better soon, I just-”

“Clyde Donovan you stupid child what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Craig and Tweek parted at once as Bebe blew past them. Storming straight up to Clyde, who’s mouth fell open at the sight of the girl, Bebe got in his face and backhanded him across the jaw, no doubt pouring every bit of her many emotions into that one action. Tweek could hear it, and it made him want to wince.

As Clyde dumbly dropped the syringe so that he could rub at the side of his jaw, Bebe yelled, “You’ve been making everyone worry, you’ve been making my head hurt for days now, and now you’re standing here saying you’re going to turn yourself into a _zombie_ just to prove a point?” Voice cracking, the girl cried, “I just want you to be okay! You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, just stop. Come back to us.”

Shaking his head, Clyde insisted, “You don’t get it Bebe, I can’t stop. I have to finish the game, I have to-”

Quick as a snake, Bebe reached her hand forward and snatched the stick out of Clyde’s hands. Before anyone could even guess as to what she was going to do, the girl brought the branch down across her knee. The sound of it snapping resonated through what must have been the whole yard, Tweek couldn’t imagine that such a loud sound wouldn’t have been heard everywhere. Like she hadn’t just broke the most powerful object in the universe, Bebe tossed the broken halves of the stick off of the side of the castle and stared Clyde in the eyes.

“There, it’s over,” she stated into the silence. “You already won Clyde. Craig and Tweek already beat Cartman and Stan and Kyle and Kenny. You beat the game, just please, don’t hurt me like this.” As the words fell from her lips and it felt like the storm itself held its breath, the insanity cleared from Clyde’s eyes, and his shoulders slumped as he stared at Bebe with those big, sorrowful brown eyes.

“I- I’m so sorry,” Clyde said hoarsely. At the return of his friend, Tweek felt his heart start again and as Craig’s hand tightened around his, the blond’s insides swelled with joy. _It’s going to be okay,_ he realized. _Because it’s over._

As if the sky too was tired of holding its breath, the sky opened up and rain came pouring down on them. Safe as they were from the storm, Tweek shivered and looked around as the fires that had been sprouting up started to be put out and the fighting of the kids below started to die down into a less enthusiastic din.

“I’m sorry too,” Bebe said softly, before standing on her tiptoes, planting a kiss on Clyde’s cheek, then wrapping her arms around the brunet and holding him tight. Watching as his friend turned bright red before smiling tentatively and putting his arms around the girl that he liked so much, Tweek turned to Craig and found the Noirette already looking at him.

“We did it,” Craig said softly, before lifting up his hand and running his fingers through Tweek’s hair. Losing himself in that calming, wonderful experience, the blond shifted closer to Craig and leaned his head against the boy’s chest, thankful to just be able to hear his heartbeat and feel his warmth.

“Yeah, w-we did,” Tweek agreed, a smile stretching across his face despite everything. “It’s over.” Craig snorted, and Tweek could hear the smile in that single noise.

It was over, and that was enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you hear that?
> 
> It's the winds of change...
> 
> Yup, from here there are just going to be a few healing chapters of fluff, some interesting perspectives, and then yeah, we'll move on to Tweek x Craig.
> 
> You're fuckin' welcome.


	101. Hell Kept Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to faceplant into a plate of food and drown in my baked beans.
> 
> Thanks to Angel for simply existing and supplying me with perfect kenny lines whenever I ask. It's honestly miraculous.
> 
> Enjoy.

_What if I were to tell you that my brother can’t die?_

_I’m not saying he doesn’t try, he tries really hard. But he always fails. I used to wonder if I was crazy for seeing it, but now I just know that everyone else is. They don’t see him die, they can’t remember, but I can. Kenny doesn’t know that, and I don’t need to tell him. It’d probably break him._

Ringing out her dirty blond hair into the broken shower drain in the bathroom because she couldn’t quite reach the sink, Karen glanced up at the duct-tape covered window at the storm raging outside. The glass was leaking again. Grabbing for the small stool that Kenny had found in the dump, Karen stood on the unsteady thing and struggled to get the peeling tape to stick properly. It had been a long time since Kenny had put Kevin’s head through the window, and they needed new tape, but she wasn’t sure if they had any left.

 _I know it sounds like my whole life revolves around him, but it doesn’t. I have other friends, it’s just that where other kids have parents, I have Ken. I want to be like him someday. Even though he’d tell me that I should have a better role model, the only other one I’d have is Kevin, and goodness knows Kenny doesn’t want me to be like_ him.

Kevin had tried to hit her for the first time that night, and Kenny had lost it. No, not lost it, Karen remembered the almost ice cold anger that had come from her brother in that moment, and it made her shiver even now. He’d do that sometimes, when their parents got upset, when Kevin got drunk, when other bad things happened, he’d go cold and just stand in the way so he could _stop_ whatever was happening. Sometimes, she wondered if he’d try to stand in the way of a speeding train. Probably, that sounded like something her brother would do.

_Kenny always gives me rules in an attempt to make sure that I’m a better person that he is. Rule number one, never talk about what happens in the house, none of it, for any reason. That’s the most important rule. Sometimes he’s joking when he comes up with them, but sometimes, I know that he’s being dead serious. He told me that one after our mom broke a bottle over his head. He was bleeding, and he still told me not to tell a soul. So I never have._

Sighing, Karen let the tape curl back and blinked as the little drops of cold water sprinkled her face. For a moment, she remembered Firkle talking to them after the fight, with his fancy goth makeup running down his face like a sad clown, and she giggled. Ever since Red had introduced Ruby to the Goth kids, Ruby had been incessant in trying to get Firkle to hang out with them. Now they were all going to Tweek Bro’s tomorrow, the only place that he’d been willing to meet them at. It would probably be fun, if the rain let up.

Hopping down off of the stool, careful not to fall off of it, Karen moved it back out of the shower and started trying to struggle out of her wet pirate’s outfit. Kenny had helped her put it together, but it was pretty much ruined now, all torn and stuff. Standing back so she could glance into the cracked mirror, she rubbed at the still bleeding cut above her left eye. _Probably should get a band-aid for that. Do we have any?_

Well, probably not. Kenny was always using them, and she knew that their last box had been given to Tweek, who probably needed them more. He’d been freaking out about the paper cuts on his fingers, Kenny had said, so he’d _just helped him out a little, you know how it is Kare-bear, gotta be the positive change you want to see and all that jazz._ She’d be fine without them, it was only a little scratch.

Pushing a smile onto her face, focusing on how much fun she’d had beating up sixth graders with her friends, Karen half danced her way out of the bathroom, still struggling to get her cargo pants off. Her parents were passed out, dead drunk on the couch, so she didn’t worry about being quiet. It would have taken an elephant and several armed cops to wake them up. Stumbling into her room, Karen finally managed to kick off her pants and stood there for a moment shivering before scurrying over to her tilting dresser and digging out one of Kenny’s old hoodies.

It was warm. Kenny’s clothes were always warm.

_I’ve never told anyone that he dies. That’s family business, family matters. I don’t think that even Kevin knows that he dies, Kenny doesn’t exactly talk about it. Some things, you just don’t talk about. I learned that the first time he died with his head on my knees, slowly being eaten away by some poison as he babbled on about whether there are stars in Hell. After you see something like that, you know that there are lines you just shouldn’t cross._

Pulling the hoodie down lower over her thighs, Karen turned and stared at her bed. It was late, but she had trouble sleeping on nights like this. Slumping against the dirty wall, Karen curled her arms around her knees and let out a slow sigh. Maybe she should have taken up Ike’s offer and stayed with him. He’d gone home right after they’d finished fighting, Ruby had ended up talking to Firkle, and she’d wandered back home, but she’d probably end up just staring at the wall for a while.

There was the sound of the door to the kitchen slamming.

Up on her feet in an instant, it took Karen all of about three seconds to confirm the intruder to be her brother, and another two to hurry out of her room and towards the kitchen. “Ken?” she called tentatively, just in case she was wrong and it wasn’t her brother. Inhaling, Karen caught the cloying weight of copper and iron, and she sort of just turned her insides off so they wouldn’t clench painfully.

_At first, watching him die made me cry, finding him dead broke my heart. I hated it, hated that I couldn’t escape the inevitable and he couldn’t seem to find peace, but eventually, I got used to it. That sounds horrible. It is horrible, but at some point, you learn to turn yourself off and just be there as your brother as he dies once again. Kenny doesn’t know that I remember, but I think I’m glad I do, because otherwise I’d feel like I was dying with him every single time._

“Wassup Kare-bear?” Kenny asked casually, like the air around him didn’t smell like blood. In the light coming from the muted TV behind her, Karen could see the injuries, see the crimson tears in her brother’s dress and they contradicted the absent smile on his face. “You should be in bed.” He laughed. _“I_ should be in bed. I am _such_ an irresponsible role model.”

“What happened?” Karen asked in a small voice, unable to keep from staring at the blood trickling down the side of Kenny’s face. It matted his blond wig, and she didn’t doubt that it was worse underneath it.

“What happened?” Kenny repeated, his eyebrows lifting. “Why, the _good guys_ won Kare, that’s what always happens~ The good guys have to win, that’s how the story goes.” Grinning, waving a hand before wincing like the action caused him pain, Kenny mumbled, “Nothing you need to worry about Kare-bear, I’m fine.”

“You’re bleeding Ken,” she pointed out plaintively. “You’re not okay.”

“Don’t you know that it doesn’t matter if I’m bleeding?” Kenny asked, his tone pitched all wrong. “It never lasts, right?” He always talked like this when he knew that he was going to die, maybe because he expected her to forget everything that he said. She didn’t, of course. Feeling that familiar frustration that always welled up when she saw her brother like this, Karen scrambled for one of the stained and ratty towels that was bundled up beside the overflowing sink and stood on her tiptoes, trying to turn on the faucet so that she could dampen it.

Finally managing to get some water on the thing, Karen followed her brother as he stumbled out of the kitchen, his movements unstead, the limp in his step obvious. “Which is a good thing, because I don’t think they could deal with consequences that serious. They’d be _crushed_ to think I’d died, right?” It sounded like a genuine question, like he honestly wasn’t sure.

“I’d miss you,” Karen said softly, watching as her brother jerked to a halt at her words. “I will miss you, please don’t die Ken.” Her brother just laughed again, the sound dead and broken.

“I know you would Kare-bear, but you’re the only one~ Even you would forget me pretty quickly.” Shaking his head, Kenny suddenly injected something manic into his voice as he said with false cheerfulness, “But that’s alright, I’m not going to die, I’m just going to lay down, they really did a number on me.”

_Is it wrong that I sometimes wish my brother could just die? I wish that he’d just close his eyes and never wake up, and that probably makes me a monster, but when I look at him, all I see is exhaustion. His eyes are so dead some days, I don’t think he wants to live anymore. It’s cruel that he can’t escape, I hate it. I want him to be able to get away from this, but I can’t make anything happen, I can’t change anything. In the end, I’m just his sister, which makes me wish he could die all the more._

As the lurched back into action, Kenny expressively waved the hand he wasn’t dragging along the wall in an effort to keep himself upright. “You should have seen them Kare, I’m so- So _proud_ of them, finally getting over their differences and working together again. I told Tucker it wouldn’t be easy, but he still did it. That takes dedication, I hope he- Well, I just hope it lasts.” He took another step, and Karen watched as blood specked the stained carpet beneath him.

“Why did you let them hurt you?” Karen asked, her voice faint. She never knew what to say when this happened, she felt so inadequate. All she could do was watch as her brother fell apart before her eyes, and she never got to talk about it with anyone because you _never_ talked about family matters. “Why didn’t you fight back?”

“You think I didn't fight back?” Kenny laughed dryly. “Oh I fought them, but someone needs to be the villain Kare-bear. You’ll learn that someday. Hell, make it another rule! If you’re not the hero, then you’re probably the villain. People are so black and white sometimes, it’s terrifying.” He didn’t sound scared though, he just sounded bitter.

“You’re not evil,” Karen told her brother, wishing that she could convince him of it. If it had been anyone else, she would have been able to throw up some of her self-confident masks to hide how upset she was, but this was Kenny. You couldn’t fool Kenny.

“Nah, I’m just bad enough to be the tragic anti-hero, right?” Kenny laughed, and his head lolled on his neck. “Any worse, and no one would like me, any nicer, and I’d be _bland_ but the anti-heros never get the- Never get to smile at the end! Because who wants a grinning villain?” Turning, Kenny cooed, “But look at me Kare-bear.” A twisted, manic grin stretched over his face. “Look at me breaking the rules, I’m so _happy.”_

Quickly whipping his head away from her, Kenny wavered on his feet for a moment before stumbling forward towards his bedroom. “I’m so happy,” he repeated, his words faint. “There’s nothing I like more than getting torn to shreds by my own friends. It’s _cathartic,_ you might say. Reminds you that you’re really not all that, you’re just… A piece of shit.”

Following him, her heart ending up in her throat no matter how often she’d seen this scene before, Karen watched as Kenny pulled off his wig, revealing just how much blood there was matting his hair, dripping down the side of his face. Tossing the thing away, Kenny coughed before saying, “You know, I say that I’m a piece of shit, and I know that I am, but they’re not much better Kare, they’re a big ol’ _bag of dicks_ all of them. No one’s perfect, we’re just different levels of fucked up.”

As the boy missed his step slightly, Karen could do nothing to stop her brother from pitching forward, crumpling against the floor. Laughing, even though it had to have hurt, Kenny rolled over slowly and mumbled, “Oh, maybe I’m just losing my mind Karen, but it’s so _frustrating_ when you can’t even control your own movements, and they’re blaming you for it. And you know me, you know who I am. I _tried_ not to hurt them, but maybe I didn’t try hard enough. Maybe in the end I just want to cause them pain?”

Shaking her head, rejecting Kenny’s words, Karen knelt down next to her brother with the damp towel and held it against the bloody gash on the side of his head. “You’ve never wanted to hurt anyone,” the girl whispered, staring down into Kenny’s glittering, distant eyes. _You’re too good to hurt people, you just don’t see it._ He’d probably never see it. Out of everything, this is what made her want to cry.

“You’re too good to me Kare-bear,” Kenny murmured, shaking his head before pulling away from her, sifting towards his bed so he could crawl into it. “No, I think I might actually want them to hurt, because then they might _care_ when they’re watching something hurt me.” As the blood started to soak into the sheets below him, hinting at just how badly he’d been hurt, Kenny continued, “I could die in their arms, and they wouldn’t even _remember._ How fucked up is that? My friends don’t even care enough to know when I die.”

Unable to anything, Karen just sat there as her brother continued, “I just wanted someone to care, but the moment I walked away, they all forgot about me. It’s all about Clyde. Fuck- He wasn’t dying, I was! They knew I was dying, they _saw_ it. I’m not asking for much, just someone to care, but all I got were a apologies and then _nothing.”_

Clenching one of his hands into a fist, Kenny hissed through his teeth before spitting, “They have no idea what kind of shit I go through for them, none of them do!” The bitterness in his voice was palpable, making Karen’s throat close up in its intensity. “But that’s okay, that’s _fine,”_ he mumbled, his voice suddenly losing its punch. “That’s alright, they can forget me, just as long as they get a happily ever after.”

_Sometimes, I wonder if death would actually make Kenny happy at all. He’s spent so long wishing for it that it might be a let down if he actually managed to leave. I’m not sure if anything would make him happy, to be honest. Even his friends make him bitter, angry, jaded. I know that they do because sometimes he babbles on about them for hours, just talking about how much he cares, and it’s heartbreaking, because he believes that they don’t care about him in return._

“Heh, I’m glad that Tweekers and Fucker can finally smile again,” Kenny said, his eyes rolling over to the window. “They’re both so broken, I used to think that nothing could fix them but… I think that maybe they have a chance.” A bitter laugh, then the hand he held before him unclenched slowly before he let it fall over his chest. The movement ruffled the skirts of his rain-soaked dress. “ ‘s funny Karen, I feel selfish for thinking it, but I kinda liked having a couple people around who were almost as fucked up as me. Do you think that’s wrong?”

She didn’t know what she was supposed to say to that, so instead Karen just reached up and found her brother’s hand so she could squeeze it tightly with her own. It was cold to the touch. _He’s dying again._ “But now they found each other. I’m sorta- Ah hell Kare-bear I’m jealous as all get out that they found something so good.”

Staring at the ceiling, he let out a laugh before babbling, “Oh man, I sound so stupid right now. Tweeky’s gone through hell for years and I never even really helped him. But how was I supposed to? Do you think hanging around Eric would have made anything better for him?  I tried, alright! I did everything I could for him. And Craig, god, I’ve pushed him through so many things just because I didn’t want to see him turn out like me. I’m _trying_ to help.”

 _I know you are,_ Karen thought squeezing her brother’s hand slightly. There was desperation in Kenny’s tone, and it tore at her heart. _You do help, I promise Ken, you do._

“So how is it _fair_ that the one time I need one of them to care, they all just stand there. Oh sure Tweek’s gonna grab my hand and apologize and Craig’s going to tell me not to die but how is that supposed to help? They’re all so _supportive_ of each other, but do I get that? No, they just let me walk off to die. They don’t give a shit about me.” Kenny’s ranting devolved into pained coughing. “Fuck, they weren’t messing around, were they? Guess they really did want to kill me for the shit I put them through.”

“They care about you,” Karen whispered, even though her words sounded hollow. She didn’t know Kenny’s friends all that well, but she’d heard him talk about them enough to know that they couldn’t possibly just _not_ notice when one of their friends was hurting.

“No they don’t Kare, they don’t care one bit.” Pressing his lips together till they turned white, Kenny mumbled, “They just let me walk away. Even Butterfree didn’t do anything to stop me.” His whole body sagged against the bed, and Kenny forced out a soft laugh. “You know, I thought he was going to cry for a moment. His eyes were so shiny, I thought he was going to break down right in front of me.” When Karen shifted so she could look down at her brother, she found his own eyes closed. But to be honest, she didn’t need to see them to read the pain in his expression. The complete, broken defeat.

_But you know, he’s never cried about it. I don’t know if Kenny can cry. I cry sometimes, when everything gets to be too much. Of course, rule number two is never let anyone see you cry. Even though he says that, Kenny always takes the time to try and make things better for me. I would do the same for him, but he never breaks down. At least not that visibly. But if you look into his eyes, you can see when they get glassy, like if he knew how, he might cry after all._

“For a second Kare, I wanted him to cry,” Kenny admitted in a whisper. “I wanted him to beg me not to die. Just once, I wanted something in him to _remember.”_ As he spoke, his voice got fainter, his hold on the world loosening as he slipped away. “But he just let me walk away. Even Butterball doesn’t care enough to help me. That’s fine though, I’d just ruin him. I’m probably already ruining him, look at me wishing he’d cry, what’s _wrong_ with me.”

And then came the shivers, as Kenny truly started to shut down. Just the uncontrollable trembling that she’d come to associate with this, like her brother’s version of tears. “God, I just don’t want him to forget me. I’m such a piece of shit, he’d be happier without me. They’d all be happier without me. They all saved the world Kare, and I just got in the way. I’m so pathetic, but they _never_ remember me, they won’t even think twice about this after it’s over. I’m so sick of it Karen, I can’t-” He sucked in a breath through his teeth that ended in his body going stiff as pain spasmed through him. “I can’t _do_ this anymore.”

And even though Kenny never cried, Karen’s own tears took their place. Letting them drip down her cheeks, Karen squeezed Kenny’s hand tight enough to cut off the circulation in his fingers, the girl whispered, “You don’t have to save the world big brother.”

_He’s got so much inside of him that eats him away, that if you stare too long into those eyes, you’ll lose your mind. Because no one but Ken can carry that burden. He’d say that no one else deserves it, but he doesn’t deserve it either. I know, because I remember every death I’ve seen him die, and each of them stand out as yet another level of torture that he doesn’t deserve, no matter what he says otherwise._

Lifting his free hand, Kenny brushed at Karen’s tears, his cold hand touching her cheek so gently it might have been a ghost. “Dry your eyes, lil’ sis,” Kenny murmured musically, his eyes drifting in and out of focus. “Someday, you’re going to fly far away from here, far away from me, and you’ll never have to deal with this shitty town again.” Falling back against the pillow, Kenny mumbled, “It’s too late for me, but don’t waste your tears on me, someday, you’ll forget me too.”

As his eyes drifted closed, Kenny added, “I’m glad, no one deserves having to remember me.” Then he was gone, his hand going limp in hers, and the life leaving him like a dove.

Sniffling, Karen finally dragged herself to her feet and took a step back from her brother’s body. In the moonlight, despite the tears and the blood, he looked like a sleeping princess. With his dress and his bloodless skin, it was as frightening as it was beautiful. But Karen knew better than to stay for long. Her mom would be coming in soon with a new version of her brother, who would be a-okay by the time she woke up in the morning.

The truth of it scared her.

_I’m tired of watching Kenny die. But if he has to live through it, then I’ll live through this. Because rule number three is the world is pain, and anyone who tells you different is selling you something. Someday, Kenny will die, and someday, things will get better. I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I’ve got to believe._

_Whatever happens, I’ll be here for Kenny when he dies, because no one deserves to go through that alone._

Slowly, her footsteps absolutely silent, Karen padded out of Kenny’s room and closed the door behind her. Even as she did, she heard her mother let out a loud expletive before there was the sound of a baby wailing. Before they caught her, she slipped into her own room and shut the door. Kenny was home, finally. Maybe now, she could sleep.

_What if were to tell you that I wish my brother could die?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tired finger guns* yep. I promise I'll give you some fluff next chapter.


	102. Despite Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have come from the dungeons of banishment to bring you a chapter.
> 
> Daddy Dearest, this is for you ;)
> 
> Enjoy~

Stan woke up to find Kyle on top of him, sound asleep.

This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence actually, it happened a lot. A surprising amount, really. Still, it made him smile to see his usually agitated super best friend sleeping so peacefully, awkwardly curled up on top of him as if he hadn’t supposedly fallen asleep on the other end of the bed. With his red curls spilling out over Stan’s shoulder and his hand stubbornly fisted in the raven-haired boy’s shirt, Kyle looked as calm and unconcerned with the living world as could be. Which was probably good, because after the night before, they all needed a rest.

Unable to move much, considering his position, Stan glanced out the window and sighed softly at the sight of the sun poking out stubbornly from behind the remnants of the night storms. It was noon, but Stan didn’t really concern himself with that fact. Saturday, after all, meant no school, which in turn meant they’d have a couple days respite after the disastrously cataclysmic end of the game.

 _How did we even end up playing a game like that? Nazi Zombies? Did Butters really end up inside Mr. Slave’s asshole to disarm a Snuke? And what about Kenny? Did he really turn into a zombie and end up fighting Tweek and Craig, or did I imagine that last bit?_ Nah, that last one couldn’t have happened, but the rest of it totally had. And now the game was over, which left him feeling equal parts somber and glad.

Glancing down at Kyle, who was wearing an amusing mix of Stan’s clothes and his own, the boy snorted softly. Well, if there was one thing he was grateful for, it was that Kyle wouldn’t be under so much pressure anymore. Because no one deserved to have to be responsible for that many other people constantly. How he’d lasted as long as he did was both amazing and a testament to how strong he was.

Any further thinking was decidedly interrupted by Kyle’s eyes opening, instantly trapping Stan in that deep, emerald green. As the redhead gradually woke up, his face pinching into a familiar scowl before he devolved into soft, tired sounds, Stan chuckled. Brought out of the threads of sleep by the sound no doubt, Kyle chose that moment to awkwardly attempt to sit up, sharply elbowing Stan in the ribs as he did before collapsing back on top of his friend.

“Dude!” Stan complained as his attempts to avoid the sharp, bony points that Kyle had mysteriously seemed to develop resulted in a confusing tangle of limbs and sheets.

“Dude yourself,” Kyle mumbled grumpily, kicking him in the side in an attempt to sleepily free himself from the covers. “What fuckin’ time is it even?”

“Who cares it’s Saturday,” Stan griped right back, only to get an elbow in the eye. Finally giving up, Stan literally pushed Kyle out of the bed, which only resulted in the boy pulling him down as well. As the two of them sprawled out over the floor, Stan was unpleasantly reminded of the fact that he was covered in bruises and no, that didn’t make for a pleasant landing.

“You’re such an asshole,” he complained, at last managing to disentangle himself from the sheets.

“At least I didn’t have to climb into one last night,” Kyle mumbled in response, before rolling up in the covers that he’d pulled off of Stan’s bed and curling up on the floor. Laughing tiredly at the boy’s retort, Stan sat up and rubbed at his eyes as he stared at the bundle that was Kyle.

“No kidding, I hope Butters is okay,” Stan agreed, shivering. There were just some things that he hoped he never had to do, like ever, and he’d discovered that climbing up a gay man’s asshole was pretty high up on the list.

“He’ll be fine, ‘s long as he showers,” Kyle muttered, his bright hair fluffing out of the top of the white sheets like he was some kind of weird cigarette. Glancing over towards the corner of his room at the remaining bits of costume that they’d stripped off the night before after being soaked by the rain, Stan managed a tired grin.

“It’s over, you know?” _Finally, after all this time, the stupid game is done._ Looking up at the sunshine streaming through his window, Stan said, “I can’t believe it, after everything, they destroyed the Stick and now it’s done.”

“Thank god,” Kyle said stoutly, finally poking his head out of the sheets just enough so that he could stare at Stan. Despite the slight puffiness under his eyes, no doubt from the lack of sleep in the days preceding the final battle, Kyle practically glowed in the late morning light.“I can’t believe we all survived that.”

“Me neither dude, I would have expected at least one of us to have gotten turned into a zombie,” Stan agreed, shaking his head in wonder. Flopping over lazily, not quite ready to do anything, the Raven stared at Kyle for a moment before asking, “Was your brother alright after everything?”

Kyle snorted. “Yeah, he’s fine. Though…” He pulled a face. “I don’t know about the rest of the town.”

“It’ll be fine,” Stan assured the boy, waving it off easily. “This is South Park.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty used to our bullshit at this point,” Kyle chuckled, his cheeks flushing a light shade of pink in the process. Catching himself staring into his super best friend’s bright eyes for a moment longer than was really necessary, Stan laughed at himself and at last managed to drag himself to his feet.

“Do you know what happened to Kenny?” the boy asked as he looked around for some actual clothing to wear. “I mean, he betrayed us and then I sort of lost track of him.”

“Maybe he died,” Kyle quipped, before both of them started laughing. Kicking the blanket worm that was the redhead, almost feeling guilty that the idea of Kenny dying was so funny, Stan ended up getting pulled over when Kyle unexpectedly shot out a hand and grabbed his ankle. Getting control of his vocal chords once more, Kyle said, “Text him, he probably just went home early or something with Karen. I dunno, we’ll probably see him today.”

Propping his head up on Kyle, Stan nodded. “Yeah, probably.” In the silence, a certain tired sort of melancholy came over the room. After everything that had happened, normal felt like sort of a let down. He was glad that the insanity was over, but what came next? Shifting, Stan said, “So, you wanna do something today?”

“Other than value my life and be glad that this bullshit didn’t kill us?” Kyle quipped, wiggling out of his cocoon at last and helping Stan to his feet. “Yeah, why not. It’s been a long time since we did something other than play the fantasy game.” He made a good point, and Stan wasn’t going to argue.

As he got dressed and helped Kyle dig up enough of his own clothes from Stan’s closet to go out in public, the Raven found himself thinking about the game once more and the insanity they’d survived. Curiously, he glanced out the window, wondering if perhaps he’d see the streets overrun with zombies or otherwise in chaos, but it was just South Park, just the same old town as always. It would take more than an outbreak of weird green goo to make the place actually show any sign of anything.

“So what’s it like to be a Human again?” Stan asked, smirking slightly as he watched Kyle grumpily attempt to get one of the Elf ears untangled from his hair. “Do you miss controlling half of the school?”

“Fuck no,” Kyle said instantly, before letting out a sound of frustration and gave up trying to disentangle himself from the remnants of his costume. “It was fun while it lasted, but I’m tired of it now. I’m ready to do something else, preferably something not frying pans.”

Moving over to help his friend get the ear out of his hair, Stan noticed the bruise that covered Kyle’s shoulder and sucked in a breath. It wasn’t like he could have done anything about it, but it still made his insides clench. “Yeah dude, someone needs to tell Tweek to chill out.” Though, if he was being honest, it was pretty impressive that the blond had come out of his shell so completely. _I can’t believe he used to be a total mouse. Man, people change._

“I can’t believe that he betrayed me,” Kyle huffed, crossing his arms and glaring at himself in the mirror. “I mean I thought he was on our side! If it hadn’t been for Craig, we totally would have won that whole thing. It’s so unfair that he switched sides like that.” Nodding, pulling apart the stubborn curls that had ensnared the stray costume piece, Stan caught the almost disappointed look on Kyle’s face and frowned.

“I dunno dude, I think it kind of makes sense,” Stan admitted, finally getting the ear out and taking a moment to simply fluff Kyle’s hair, amused with the way it instantly bounded back to its original shape. “Of course he was going to join Craig, you know how they are. They’re always together.”

“Still!” Kyle complained, letting out a huff and leaning back against Stan’s chest. “I thought he was pissed at Craig, especially after all the bullshit that was going on between them. They were on different sides, they weren’t even fighting for the same thing!” Eyes drifting closed, even though his face retained his scowl, Kyle grumbled, “It’s irritating.”

Absently poking Kyle’s forehead, causing him to scrunch his eyebrows together, Stan said, “If we were fighting on opposite sides of a war, I’d totally betray them to fight with you. Some things are more important than imaginary divisions.” His own words made him laugh, disturbing Kyle from his resting place. Grunting, the redhead straightened and walked over to where he’d thrown his hat the night before.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Picking up the trapper’s hat so he could stare at it for a moment, Kyle muttered, “I still think they’re both weird, though… I’m glad they’re not fighting anymore. It sucks to see them fighting.” Standing there, watching Kyle, Stan found himself wondering if the other boy would forgive him so quickly if he were as idiotic as Craig had been acting.

Unrelatedly, the memory of Wendy’s cold behavior the night before popped through his mind and Stan found his mood lowering. _I’ve still got to talk to her, which probably isn’t going to go over well._ Shoulders slumping, Stan sighed and said, “It sucks when _anyone’s_ fighting.”

Shooting him a shrewd look, Kyle’s mouth tightened slightly and he shortly agreed, “Yes, it does.” Without explaining his sudden change in attitude, Kyle swiftly rummaged through their costumes and found his and Stan’s phone. Throwing it over to the Raven, who caught it easily, Kyle said, “Oh look, Cartman texted. Apparently he has a concussion.”

That made Stan snort. “We should probably visit him at some point.”

“He’s probably faking it,” Kyle muttered, rolling his eyes. “Though Tweek did hit him pretty hard.” Snickering slightly at the memory, Stan grabbed for his own hat and pulled it down over his messy black hair before grabbing for the door knob.

“Whatever dude, let’s just get out of here before my dad ropes me into something weird,” Stan commented, before shivering at the memory of his dad in the weird armor he’d been wearing the night before. “God, I can’t believe he decided to join the game. That was… mildly embarrassing actually.”

Kyle barked with laughter. “Stan, your dad is the definition of embarrassing.” Walking past the slightly taller boy out into the hall, the redhead brushed up against Stan’s shoulder before calling, “Come on, I want to know if they actually got rid of all that weird metal everywhere.” Following Kyle, a smile stretching across his face, Stan easily fell in step beside his friend as they headed downstairs and out the front door.

As they walked through the neighborhood, Stan noticed the remaining paraphernalia that hinted at what had gone down the night before. Thankfully, there were no zombies, but he did catch sight of Clyde’s castle in the distance, which was a little worse for wear after the storm, and a strange abundance of red shingles everywhere. All in all though, it was all back to normal. There was no longer the feeling that they were going to get jumped if they stepped wrong, and Stan felt like the air had lightened, though that might have been his imagination.

“So what game do you think we’re going to end up playing next?” Stan asked, feeling Kyle bump up against him comfortably. “After that, we’re going to have to find something new, I guess.” Kicking a pebble, he commented, “Next time, let’s not have the whole school get involved, that was pretty insane.”

“Fucking sixth graders,” Kyle muttered mutinously. _Still upset that they almost hurt your little brother?_ Well, Stan got it. He was still a little irritated at Tweek for hitting Kyle so hard when it was just a game, but there were other things to focus on, namly Kenny striding down the middle of the street like he owned it.

“Well I’ll be, you two actually survived!” Kenny called, lifting a hand in greeting. “You know, I was a little worried that you might drown. Cartman’s always saying that Jews can’t swim, but then, he also says that girls have balls so really, he’s only accurate about fifty percent of the time.”

“Asshole, that’s complete bullshit!” Kyle instantly retorted, his face turning red in irritation.

Punching Kenny’s arm, Stan scoffed, “Oh shut up Kenny, like you don’t usually believe everything he says.”

Rubbing at his arm, a mockingly hurt expression on his face that instantly melted away into that easy smile, Kenny mocked, “Are you sure you’re not projecting Stan~?” Wiggling his eyebrows and laughing at Stan’s affronted expression, Kenny asked, “So~ What are you two up to today? Hopefully not getting ready to destroy the world again, my schedule's just packed until next Tuesday!”

“Says the one who betrayed us!” Kyle fired back, though he was grinning as well. “Seriously Kenny, what made you think that Clyde bringing back nazi zombies was going to turn out well?” Shaking his head, the redhead firmly said, “The only Nazi I have the energy to deal with is Cartman.”

“And you don’t usually have the patience to even deal with him,” Kenny instantly quipped, earning himself another punch from Kyle. “What, is this just beat up Kenny day?” he asked, still laughing.

“I’m still annoyed that you betrayed us like that,” Kyle told him, starting back down the street. Taking a quick step so he could fall in on Kyle’s other side, Stan snorted at the boy’s words.

“Yeah dude, and then did you even stick around?” Bumping up against Kyle’s arm, smoothing some of his ruffled feathers, Stan asked, “Where did you go last night? You kind of just vanished at some point.”

For a moment, Kenny’s smile froze, then he looked down at the street and chuckled softly. “I just had to walk Karen home, ya know? Besides, betrayal gets old pretty fast.” Catching Kyle’s _see, I told you so_ expression, Stan shrugged off the weird fuzziness in his head. “What, were you worried about me?” Kenny teased, his eyes glittering.

Kyle snorted. “As if.” Laughing at Kenny’s theatrically hurt expression, Kyle said, “Dude, after all the bullshit that you put us through during that fucking game, I wouldn’t have even been mad if you drowned.”

“Excuse you, I _helped_ you,” Kenny corrected as they turned the corner and started towards the little strip of businesses. When Stan gave the boy a skeptical look, Kenny amended, “Mostly…”

“If it hadn’t been for you, this game would have been over way sooner,” Stan pointed out, remembering all of the random shit that Kenny had pulled at every opportunity. “As it was, we were playing that for what, five months?” Almost impressed by the amount of time they’d managed to stay interested in one thing, Stan snorted and said, “Heck, it wasn’t even fun by the end of it.”

“I’ll have you know that being a girl was a _lot_ of fun,” Kenny told Stan, putting his hands on his hips mockingly and adopting an almost comically bad falsetto. “I got to have lipstick and lace and the girls even invited me to their hideout, which is more than either of _you_ will ever manage.”

Kyle pulled a face. “As if we’d ever want to go there!”

“Aww, I bet _Stan_ would have had fun,” Kenny cooed, his eyebrows back to doing their little mocking dance. The moment he said the words, Stan started to laugh, then he stopped as he remembered the cold way Wendy had ignored him when he’d tried to apologize the night before, and his mirth died in his chest.

“Fuck off dude,” he muttered, scuffing his shoes across the sidewalk as his insides clenched. _Why do I even bother with her, I’m just going to mess up again and annoy her,_ he thought despondently, feeling his spirits sink a little lower. _I don’t blame her, I’m kind of a crappy boyfriend._ As if the universe was determined to make things worse, Kyle took one look at Stan’s face before the air around him darkened, as if he were upset with the Raven as well.

Lacing his fingers behind his head and whistling through his teeth, Kenny said, “Whatever, I just wish I could have seen Tweekers and Butterscotch dressed up as girls. Heidi told me that they got all dolled up yesterday, I’m a little sad that I missed it.” The idea of Tweek the barbarian in a skirt was enough to distract Stan from his thoughts of Wendy, and he chuckled.

“I bet they looked better than you did in a dress,” he quipped.

“I’ll have you know that I was fucking _fabulous,”_ Kenny informed then both hotly, miming a hairflip. Grinning when they laughed, the sandy-blond said, “It’s closer to a girl than either of you will ever get.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Kyle retorted.

“Says the gay jew,” Kenny poked.

“WHAT DOES BEING JEWISH HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF IT!!” Kyle roared. Grabbing his friend to make sure he didn’t tear Kenny apart, Stan laughed at the redhead’s reaction.

“You’re a dick, Kenny,” he told the boy, as straight-faced as he could manage.

“Ah yes, but you’ll notice he never denied being gay,” Kenny pointed out with a flourish of his hands. “Watch your ass Stan, otherwise Kyle wi- Ow! Was that necessary?” he asked, rubbing his ribs. “Between the two of you, I’m going to be black and blue.”

“Good,” Kyle said stoutly, settling down. “We can put you in the hospital with Cartman, see if you enjoy _that.”_

Settling back down, enjoying the banter of his friends, Stan glanced up at the receding rain clouds and asked, “Do you think we’re going to have school on Monday? I mean, we did kind of destroy several buildings.”

“Nah dude, they have to fix the wall that we destroyed,” Kyle said instantly, crossing his arms.

“I heard that Principal Victoria’s actually being asked to step down because of what happened,” Kenny hummed, glancing up at the sky. “One too many disasters that she hasn’t stopped, apparently. Honestly though, who would _want_ to be the principal of our school.”

“No one sane,” Stan said, rolling his eyes.

“We’re not that bad,” Kyle protested, huffing. “It’s just this town is crazy. And Cartman, that fatass is always doing stupid things.” _And we’re not?_ But Kyle had a point, they never started anything on purpose, it wasn’t really their fault. _Maybe without him, we’d actually get to have a normal life._ Admittedly though, Stan would miss Eric Cartman, even though he was an asshole sometimes.

“True that,” Kenny admitted, dipping his head with a laugh. As they walked towards the empty park, which looked like it had been set on fire at some point in the past twenty-four hours, the blond stretched his hands above his head and said, “Well, I’m just disappointed that Butterball got grounded again.”

“Seriously?” Stan asked, crossing his arms. Even though the perpetually happy boy could be a little off-putting, he generally liked him and didn’t like how his parents treated him. Though, considering how weird his own family was, he supposed he wasn’t one to talk. “Oh well, I’m sure he’ll get out of there soon.”

“Butters’ parents are criminally insane,” Kyle said stoutly, stopping in front of the single park bench that hadn’t been touched by any damage and sitting down. Bouncing up onto the bench as well, Stan squirmed over so he could steal the seat next to Kyle. Glancing over at him, Kyle shot him a cool look that said more than Stan felt up to understanding at that moment. So instead, he just leaned over and let his head fall into the redhead’s lap so that he wouldn’t have to look at it.

“Isn’t everyone in this town?” Stan asked, letting his eyes drift closed as his remaining sleepiness caught up to him.

“Yep, every single one,” Kenny agreed, lounging across the other side of the bench lazily.

 _And we’re the craziest out of them all, aren’t we?_ Laughing at the ridiculousness of his own thoughts, Stan let the calm silence cover the three of them comfortably. To be honest, when he thought about it, there was no chance of ever actually getting bored, because this was South Park, and something crazy was always happening. The day that things were normal would be the day the world ended.

So for now, he decided to just enjoy the peace and quiet.

They could do something else later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SWEAR THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE SO FULL OF CREEK FLUFF YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE JUST LET ME HAVE MY STYLE.


	103. In Over Our Heads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You requested Tweek and Craig, and what can I do but comply?
> 
> I just wanted to make a correction here and now where you guys will notice it. The beginning, end, and many select lines from the Karen perspective were from Angel, and she deserves credit for them. I apologize for forgetting who came up with that brilliant beginning, and because I can’t exactly get on discord right now, I’m going to say sorry to you here Angel.
> 
> I’m sorry for unintentionally lying to you Angel, and lying to Cori as well. I’d been repeating the line over and over in my mind since you gave it to me so much, I’d forgotten it wasn’t my own. Thanks for calling me out on my mistake, you’re an amazing person and a wonderful mentor.
> 
> I shall now slink back into the darkness of my banishment.
> 
> As for the rest of you who are here to read the story~
> 
> Enjoy.

Token’s house, as anyone who knew the black boy could tell you, was full of pretty much whatever you could imagine. The boy had his own office, the place was so big. Token’s room alone took up about half of the third floor, and that wasn’t even counting the play room-turned-computer room or the secret fort that you could only get to through the boy’s closet. To be honest, it was almost obscene how much room he really had.

Naturally, this fact became most apparent whenever the boy had others over for sleepovers. Craig had discovered early on that if he didn’t want to deal with Clyde snoring, there was almost unlimited space to colonize as an alternative. And because Token didn’t care, he didn’t even have to pretend to feel bad about it. In Craig’s opinion, this was quite possibly a best case scenario because it meant that he just didn’t have to deal with people when he didn’t want to.

His usual choice of sleeping quarters was the old pillow fort that Token still hadn’t dismantled. The entire room was just one big mound of pillows and blankets, which made for some pretty epic forts, or, conversely, a really great place to pass out. Currently, he was enjoying the latter immensely because sleep was seriously underrated and he’d had a rough night.

Not particularly caring what time it was, Craig curled up further under the down pillows and fuzzy blankets, seeking out the source of warmth that he’d been quite comfortably holding up until a moment ago. Fluffy, soft hair tickled his chin and the Noirette blindly reached out, snagging the bundle of warmth and dragging it closer to his chest, wrapping himself around it. _What day is it even? Who gives a fuck…_

The warm light he was curled up with squirmed slightly and in retaliation Craig hooked a leg around the legs of the boy in his arms and pulled him that much closer. It was a silent _I’m not letting you go_ if there ever was one. Honestly, with the world in his arms, Craig didn’t give a fuck, he was content. He hadn’t been _happy_ in a long time.

“You’re smothering m-me,” complained the blond, wiggling against his chest even though he made no move to actually escape. Sinking them both deeper into the pillows, Craig found a smile tugging at his tired lips.

“Yu _p,”_ Craig agreed blandly. Perhaps as he should have expected, Tweek twitched slightly and twisted in the Noirette’s hold till he could pop his head above the blankets. At the irritating intrusion into his eyes of the low light coming in from Token’s room, Craig mumbled out a complaint before dragging Tweek back down, producing a squeak from the blond. “It’s too early to get up,” Craig told the boy, burying his face in soft, messy blond hair.

“Ngh- b-but the clock says it’s three pm!” Tweek protested, however ineffectually. Giving in to Craig’s desire to just stay there forever, warm and happy without any care for responsibilities, Tweek settled back down but for the occasional twitch.

 _Three huh? So I guess we slept through most of the day._ Well, considering the fact they hadn’t gotten back from Clyde’s house until four in the morning, that made sense. After all, it took a little cleaning up to get rid of an entire castle full of zombies. Snorting at the memories, which somehow seemed fuzzy just a day afterward, Craig hugged Tweek a little tighter and marveled at how _wonderful_ having the boy back really was.

“So?” Craig asked, his voice muffled by Tweek’s hair. “The clock can shut up.”

Tweek giggled, one of those squeaky, adorable sounds that made Craig’s insides feel weird. _Heh, adorable, just like him._ Yeah, he was clearly overtired. After seeing Tweek fight the night before, it was weird that he was thinking of the blond as adorable, but who said that something badass couldn’t also be cute? That was totally possible.

“The clock never even s-said anything,” Tweek pointed out, wiggling a little more but still finding one of Craig’s hands and lacing their fingers together. God, there were so many things that he’d missed doing that were altogether pointless, but definitely felt like a good use of his time. He’d _missed_ Tweek, and those brief respites during the game where they’d actually been getting along hadn’t really been enough. _But now it’s over, the game is done and things can go back to normal._ Whatever normal was…

“Exactly,” Craig agreed flatly, breathing deeply and catching the residual smell of alien goo and the smoke of the fires that had been everywhere the night before. Under it though, there was that familiar scent of coffee and conspiracies that brought a slight smile to his face. “So if the clock didn’t say anything, why are you?”

“Rrr- I think I can hear Clyde and T-Token downstairs,” Tweek pointed out, his fingers tracing weird patterns in their conjoined hands. “Shouldn’t we go downstairs with them?” He made a good point Craig supposed, but honestly, he didn’t particularly care. As long as he didn’t move, he’d be able to keep Tweek here and he wouldn’t have to let the blond get away from him again. _Don’t be an ass Craig Tucker, he’s not going anywhere this time, everything is alright._

Alright. It had been a long time since he’d been able to say that.

“Maybe later,” he muttered, letting out a long breath as he marveled at how warm Tweek was and how _happy_ those thoughts made him. Finally, after months, he had Tweek here and the blond wasn’t going to run off or get upset with him and he didn’t have to deal with a girlfriend he didn’t want or Kenny and Cartman making his life hard. He could just stay here in this little bubble of contentment and not move. It was wonderful.

“You’re acting weird,” Tweek informed him, shivering slightly in Craig’s arms. Suddenly letting go of his hand, the blond twisted around in his hold once more and Craig found himself opening his eyes so he could stare down at Tweek. Just like always, he found himself captivated, and he didn’t even care, because if it was Tweek then being entranced wasn’t that bad really. Unsure how to even begin to say that, Craig just drew the boy into his shoulder and ruffled his hair, enjoying the way the usually tense boy simply relaxed against him.

“It’s been a weird week,” Craig countered, rolling over and pulling Tweek on top of him. As the boy sprawled out over his chest and Craig stared up at the poster covered ceiling of Token’s secret fort, the Noirette reflected on everything that had happened and found himself snorting. “Actually, it’s been a weird couple months.”

“M-make that five months,” Tweek countered, his high voice muffled by Craig’s shoulder. Picking his head up and resting his chin on Craig’s collar bone, Tweek asked, “What do you think is -ghn- gonna happen next?” Pondering the question, still dragging a lazy hand through Tweek’s hair, Craig at last just shrugged and gave up thinking about it.

“Dunno, hopefully nothing,” he answered frankly. “I’m tired of weird shit.” There was another giggle from Tweek, whose face scrunched up in momentary mirth, revealing a rare wide and easy smile. Catching his own mouth twitching up into a smile, Craig found himself staring into Tweek’s bright, vividly green eyes. As the silence stretched, Tweek’s grin faded into a gentle smile that was only slightly marred by the occasional twitch. _Marred? No, just enhanced really._

Because he didn’t mind Tweek’s twitches, everything about the boy was pretty fucking perfect.

“Yeah, that game went on a long time,” Tweek agreed, letting his head fall back to Craig’s chest as his own body heaved in a sigh. “Jesus, h-how did they even manage to stretch it out that far?” Thinking of the other people involved; of Kenny and his devilish grin and Cartman’s sly smirk; of Clyde’s easy exuberance and Chris’s bright interest; of Kyle’s neverending belief of injustice and Stan’s blatant determination; it actually made sense that the game had gone as long as it had.

So he said as much. “I don’t think that everyone else would have let it go any other way,” Craig admitted, blase. Letting the hand that was still in Tweek’s hair slip down the boy’s back where it rested between his shoulder blades, the Noirette muttered, “The whole school was involved, it was probably fun for most of them.” _Not us, obviously,_ Craig thought, unexpectedly calm about the whole thing now that it was over. _But other people, definitely._

“Up until th-the end,” Tweek agreed, shuddering under Craig’s fingers before fisting Craig’s tee shirt in his hand. Counting the scars on those ivory digits, the taller boy wondered, for perhaps the thousandth time since he’d met Tweek, how he’d managed to fall into something so completely unlike anything else he’d ever experienced without even trying. It was almost miraculous, but he wasn’t about to complain. Not when Tweek’s eyes glowed like the sun, and his little twitches went a long way to calming down the uncertainty that had been plaguing Craig’s mind for weeks.

“Yeah, well zombies are kind of shitty no matter how you cut it,” Craig pointed out, earning himself a smile from Tweek that he could feel against his chest. Letting his mind play over the battle once again, Craig muttered, “You did good last night, those nazi fuckers never saw it coming.”

Wiggling, pulling his legs till he was curled up like a cat on top of Craig, Tweek softly said, “Thank you for letting me fight w-with you.” The words made Craig’s chest twinge, and he didn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms around the blond once more in a tight embrace.

“Cut that shit, you’re always allowed to fight with me,” Craig said, as fiercely as his emotionless voice would allow. “I’m sorry that it took me so long to see it, I’m sorry that I spent so long trying to protect you from everything like an idiot.” He still didn’t know why he’d done it, but at least he knew that he was doing it so he could stop. Though it worried Craig to have something unnamed inside of him that made him act like an idiotic piece of shit, he decided that as long as Tweek didn’t leave, he’d be fine. Anything else they could figure out together or something.

“You’re not an idiot,” Tweek protested stubbornly, shivering violently. “If you’re an idiot, th-then I’m twice the idiot!” Wispy hair brushing across the exposed skin of Craig’s neck, Tweek said, “Ngh- you just- You just care about me.” Those last few words were spoken softly, almost like Tweek was trying to muffle them before he’d even let them out. Sensing the insecurity contained in them, Craig pushed down the latent pain that rose up at the idea that Tweek was unsure what the Noirette thought of him, and instead simply confirmed the boy’s words stoutly.

“Yeah, I do care about you.” Catching the way Tweek got very still at those words, Craig continued, “I- I don’t care about much, but I really _really_ care about you. Always.” Shivering back to life, Tweek buried his head into Craig’s tee shirt and let out a strangled sound that was accompanied by his face and neck turning bright red. _Fucking adorable,_ Craig thought firmly before curling around Tweek and rolling over with him until they hit the wall of the fort.

“Ow,” Tweek squeaked, hand shooting up so he could rub the back of his head, which had smacked against the wall. Feeling mildly guilty, Craig’s hand replaced the blond’s as he sat up, pulling the boy with him. As the world blurred then settled into focus, Craig wordlessly pulled Tweek into his lap and stared up at the clock, which now proudly proclaimed that it was four in the afternoon. _Huh, that late. Maybe we should go downstairs and-_

“TEACUP!! CRAIG!! YOU GUYS ARE AWAKE!!” Suddenly finding the entire pillow fort launched into chaos, Craig shielded Tweek from getting tackled by Clyde as the delighted brunet dove into the room and attacked them both in a hug. “You guys have been asleep for _forever,”_ Clyde complained, apparently unhampered by the bruise on his cheek that Bebe had left behind the night before. “I wanted to wake you up, but Toke said I should let you guys sleep cause you were tired.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure you can’t think of a single reason why they might be,” Token deadpanned, clambering into the fort at a much more sedate pace. Looking them over with a typically calm eye, Token asked, “How are you two?”

Glancing at Tweek, who squirmed in his lap, Craig said, “We’re fine.” Allowing Clyde to excitedly drag the blond away from him, Craig lifted an eyebrow and asked, “What about you?”

“I’m enjoying the idea of not having school for a week,” Token commented calmly, watching as Clyde whispered something in Tweek’s ear excitedly only to have the blond let out a screech of excitement and practically tackle him with a cry of _OH MY GOD THAT’S AMAZING!!!_ “They shut it down so they could repair the damage. You might have just escaped a week of detention by the skin of your teeth.”

“Better than not escaping at all,” Craig pointed out, glancing over at Tweek and Clyde skeptically as the former shivered in excitement and the latter bounced up and down on the cushions. “Besides, we did kind of cause a shitload of problems.”

Token snorted. “At the risk of sounding clichéd, you could say that again.” Glancing over at Tweek and Clyde, the black boy sighed and said, “Clyde, you’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t calm down, she’s not even coming over for another hour.”

“Who?” Craig asked curiously, though he already had a pretty good idea.

“Bebe!” both Clyde and Tweek chorused excitedly. The sight of Tweek getting so excited about the girl coming, even though before he would have been no doubt dreading her arrival, Craig smiled slightly too. _He’s just genuinely happy for Clyde, isn’t he? Fuck, I wish that everyone could be that wonderful._ But Tweek was Tweek, and Craig didn’t think the world could handle another one of him.

Besides, he didn’t particularly mind having a one-of-a-kind edition.

Snorting at his own thoughts, Craig rolled his eyes and said, “You had better ask her out Donovan, I will not hesitate to kick your ass if you don’t.” His words made Tweek giggle, and even Token let out a laugh. Clyde on the other hand gave him a deadly serious expression, as if Craig’s threat was real.

“Oh trust me, I’m going to,” the boy said firmly, nodding his head fervently. “I’m not going to let something else get in my way!” At his words, Tweek let out a squeaky cheer, and Token smile proudly, obviously pleased. “Besides, she did kiss me yesterday.” Looking very pleased with himself, Clyde said, “That means she _totally_ likes me.”

“Generally girls don’t kiss you unless they do,” Token agreed wisely. Looking between Tweek and Craig, the boy jerked his thumb towards the exit and asked, “So, are either of you interested in eating something? I’m pretty sure there’s coffee somewhere.” At the word _coffee_ Tweek’s head jerked up and Craig figured that for the blond’s sake, they should probably head downstairs. Catching their expressions, Token smiled. “I suppose it’s decided then.”

Climbing out of the small fort and into Token’s room after Tweek and Clyde, Craig stretched his arms above his head and caught Tweek as he stumbled over the edges of his sweatpants. _We really need to start keeping clothes here that fit him._ Not that Craig minded letting the blond wear his stuff. Nope, definitely didn’t have a problem with it. Setting Tweek back onto his feet easily, Craig wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulders and sleepily followed the other kids downstairs, unconcerned with the rest of the world in general.

“So apparently, the Taco Bell was actually a UFO,” Token was informing them, though his tone suggested that he knew they were already aware of this fact. “They sent the government into contain the problem, but it went horribly wrong when their leader thought that the Stick of Truth could actually control the universe and started trying to get others to defect to his side so he could take it from Clyde.”

Nodding, as if this made even a bit of sense, Craig curiously asked, “So what happened to Kenny? I’m pretty sure Tweek and I fought him at some point.” At the words, Tweek let out a horrible strangled sound and suddenly buried his face in Craig’s side, prompting the Noriette to stop and look down at him in concern. “Tweek?” he asked flatly, his brows furrowing as the blond’s shaking only got worse.

“Oh god, d-don’t you remember?!” Tweek asked, his voice coming out horribly contorted like he was on the verge of tears. Instantly tuning out both Token’s and Clyde’s confused questions, Craig turned to Tweek and pulled the blond against his chest so he could run a soothing hand through his hair in an attempt to calm him down.

“Remember what, Teacup?” Clyde asked, his own expression falling as worry overtook him. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Don’t any of you -rrr- remember?” Tweek shrieked suddenly, his hands going to his hair and yanking on it hard enough to start pulling it out. “Jesus! Ghn- KENNY DIED!!!” _Wait, what? No he didn’t._

Pulling away from the blond so he could look him in the eyes, Craig felt his stomach twist at the tears already dribbling down Tweek’s face. “Shit,” he mumbled, grabbing the corner of his shirt and wiping them away as Clyde reached forward uncertainly like he wanted to hug Tweek but wasn't sure if he should. “Tweek- Kenny didn’t die, he’s fine. We fought him, but he got up and walked away, remember? He’s alright.”

“B-but he got turned into a zombie, r-remember?” Tweek asked, his voice going faint as he stared up at Craig in distressed confusion. Cursing himself and the blond’s tendency towards delusion, the Noirette pulled Tweek back into a hug and ran his hands through the boy’s hair until his shaking subsided somewhat.

“He never got turned into a zombie,” Craig said firmly, trying to remember exactly what happened and finding his memories frustratingly fuzzy. Despite this, he continued to reassure the blond with, “He was just being an idiot, but he was alright. Everything is fine.” Glancing up at his friends for confirmation, Clyde just gave him a clueless look. Token, however, stepped up to the plate.

“He’s right Tweek, Kenny survived just like the rest of us.” At the sound of Token’s calming voice, Tweek peaked up at the black boy and bit his lip jerkily, but still released his hair tentatively. “It was confusing last night, but to my knowledge not many people actually died,” Token reiterated, his words of reason soothing Tweek where Craig couldn’t. Thankful for the other boy’s presence, Craig nodded firmly.

“We’ll see Kenny at school,” Craig told the blond, pulling away slightly so he could catch Tweek’s hand and pull him towards the stairs once more. “It would take more than a storm to kill that little shit.”

“I g-guess,” Tweek agreed uncertainly, but he followed after Craig regardless. _I wish I was better at fighting his delusions._ But maybe now that they were no longer fighting each other, he’d learn how to help Tweek instead of making things worse. Goodness knew that the blond helped him, even if it wasn’t intentional or conscious.

As both Token and Clyde pulled ahead of them into the kitchen, back to talking about the damage that their escapades had caused, Tweek tugged on Craig’s hand, causing him to stop and turn around to look at the blond. Waiting for Tweek to explain, knowing that he would if given time, Craig was entirely unsurprised when the boy admitted, “W-we never saw Kenny dying yesterday, but he was dying Craig, I -grrr- I know what I saw!”

Staring down at the boy calmly, Craig said, “He might have looked bad, but he didn't die Tweek. We would have found the body.” Instantly Tweek’s eyes fell to the ground, and Craig felt a stab of pity for the boy. If he’d had to watch Kenny die, he wouldn’t be happy either, no matter how irritated the sandy-blond could make him. Mysteriously perhaps, he was pretty sure that he’d care if Kenny died.

“I g-guess I imagined it,” Tweek mumbled, shivering. Patting the boy’s head, watching as the blond’s eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into the touch, Craig tried to draw all of the stress out of that small, wiry body with just this single point of contact. He knew it was impossible, but he could still try, right?

“What did you see?” Craig asked gently, his monotone voice as calm as he could make it.

Twitching, Tweek said, “Ngh- I saw him attack us because they’d turned him into a zombie, a-and then we fought back against him.” Bottom lip trembling, Tweek pawed at his eyes as he exclaimed, “Jesus, h-he kept saying such horrible stuff about us, b-but it was almost like he wanted us to hurt him!” Shaking his head, Tweek mumbled, “B-but then he was human again, and I -ghn- I hit him too hard and I think I w-was the reason he was dying.”

Brushing the forming tears from the boy’s eyes, Craig softly said, “You’re not the reason, I promise.”

Looking up at him, Tweek said in a broken voice, “He was dying Craig, b-but then he got up and he pretended to be okay and oh _christ!_ We just let him walk away!! Why did we do that?!” _Because it didn’t happen,_ Craig couldn’t bring himself to say. So instead he just drew the boy closer once more and hugged him, waiting for his trembling to still.

“It’s okay, next time we see him, he’ll be alive again,” Craig reassured the blond, saying the first things that came to mind. “And then you can say sorry. I bet that’d make McCormick feel happy to know you cared.” Brushing his fingers through Tweek’s hair, Craig added, “If no one went after him, he probably felt forgotten and shit.”

“Y-yeah,” Tweek mumbled into Craig’s shirt. “Jesus, I know I imagined it, b-but it felt so real this time Craig. It felt like it was actually happening.” Maybe, Craig reflected. In a certain way the fact that Tweek remembered it meant that it had happened. In another world, Kenny had died, Tweek was just able to see the truth more clearly than others.

“Next time, we’ll keep him from dying,” Craig told Tweek firmly.

“Okay,” Tweek agreed in a very small voice.

“Hey Teacup! Are you gonna get coffee or not?” Clyde called brightly, letting out a laugh. Releasing the blond and watching as he hurried towards the kitchen to get his coffee, Craig found himself smiling sadly. They’d survived, and even though he knew there was a lot of stuff that they probably still needed to deal with, he knew that things were going to get better.

How could they not? He had Tweek after all.

Satisfied, Craig walked into the kitchen, set on finding something to eat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pffft, finally, we’ve gotten back to Creek. Ugh, the fluff is real.
> 
> There will be more fluff tomorrow, quite likely, as I appear to be on a writing streak XD Ta-ta for now.


	104. Under A Heavenly Blanket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams loudly* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHMYGOD
> 
> My dudes, life is a bitch, but Tweek and Craig are not.
> 
> I gotta thank Sin and Cori for their inspiration for this chapter. Every time they open their mouths and start talking about Stars, I start getting inspired. So yeah, thank you guys~~ You're wonderful!
> 
> And thank you Angel for your continued inspiration. Even when I'm not talking to you actively, your words are all the time inspiring me!! I hope that you don't mind that.
> 
> Now, on with THE STORY.
> 
> Enjoy.

“B-but then I shot the zombie hobo with my gun because I thought it was an alien, and it sort of just _exploded!_ So w-we were okay, but JESUS I’m telling you man! It was so scary!!”

Jimmy let out a laugh that was filled in with Clyde’s helpless giggling and Token’s _hmm_ of curiosity. “W-w-wow Tweek, that’s some pretty imp-p-p-pressive stuff right there,” Jimmy conceded, still grinning from ear to ear. “Who knew that Aliens were s-s-s-secretly w-white supremacists.” That made even Token laugh, and Jimmy smiled, obviously pleased at the reaction.

“I still can’t believe we managed to get abducted,” Craig snorted, shaking his head and tossing another piece of popcorn at the upside down Clyde, who attempted to catch it in his mouth. “I mean, of all the things that could have happened to us, that’s the last I would have expected.” The popcorn bounced off of Clyde’s nose, and he whined as it landed on the floor beside his head with the other ones.

Eyes widening, Tweek shook his head and tugged at his hair with one hand while he insisted emphatically, “N-no, it makes _total_ sense!! They abduct people who know about them! Ghn- JESUS IT’S ALL A HUGE CONSPIRACY!!!”

“Good thing you guys survived then, right?” Clyde asked cheerfully, once more attempting to catch the popcorn that Craig threw at him. Looking over at them in mild disapprovement, Token huffed when yet another kernel ended up stuck in his carpet.

“Just barely,” Craig said, his impossibly blue eyes watching Tweek calmly. Grinning at the Noirette, Tweek was rewarded with a slight smile from the taller boy. “Maybe next time if _someone_ didn’t shoot the pilot-”

“They were k-keeping all of South Park under surveillance!” Tweek protested instantly, leaping off of the coffee table and doing a quick tuck and roll as he landed next to Craig on the love seat.

“-Then maybe we wouldn’t have crashed,” Craig finished, as if oblivious to Tweek’s words. He betrayed himself by glancing down at the blond with a raised eyebrow before leaning over and placing his head on Tweek’s stomach. The boy let out a squeak, but didn’t attempt to dislodge Craig’s head.

“I think that T-T-Tweek’s actions were admirable,” Jimmy commented, smiling. “In fact, I would describe the ent-t-t- The whole experience as _out of this world.”_ Clyde almost choked on his own laughter and Tweek found himself giggling helplessly as well, unable to stop himself. Jimmy’s only reaction was to grin and said, “W-wow, what a great audience!”

Token snorted. “Nerds.”

Throwing a piece of popcorn in the general direction of the black boy’s head and hitting Tweek instead, Craig called, “Says you.” Unconcerned with being called a nerd, Tweek grabbed the piece of popcorn and threw it at Clyde, whose head jerked a little to the side in order to catch it. As his mouth snapped around the kernel, Clyde’s fists shot into the air.

“OH YES! SUCCESS!!!” Wiggling happily, still upside down, Clyde whooped and said, “Looks like your aim just _sucks ass Craig,_ because Teacup here just got it in with one throw. You just suck.”

“At l-l-least he doesn’t swallow,” Jimmy quipped, making Tweek’s nose scrunch in confusion as he tried to figure out what they were talking about.

Craig on the other hand just looked Jimmy dead in the eye and said in an even voice, “You wanna bet on that?” His words almost inevitably produced a round of laughter from the other boys, which just left Tweek tugging on Craig’s chullo. _Oh god, what are they talking about?? I don’t get it? Did I miss something? Should I have gotten the joke!? They’re gonna think I’m so stupid!!_

“Oh GOD I DON’T G-GET IT!!” Tweek shrieked, hands flying for his hair because his coffee was still on the table and Craig’s head was in his lap.

“Well Tweek,” Clyde instantly started, a helpful note to his voice. “When someone really likes a guy or quite possibly a girl-”

“Don’t you dare explain it to him,” Token instantly said, a rare mischievous smile crawling over his face.

Sitting up with a grunt, Craig wrapped the arm that was holding the popcorn around Tweek’s shoulders awkwardly so he could ruffle his hair comfortingly. “Don’t worry about it, ‘s not important. Promise. It’s just one of those things.” Nervously, Tweek looked up at Craig with skeptically furrowed brows before giving up. _If Craig says I don’t need to know, then I probably don’t. He wouldn’t make fun of me._

“That is quite amazing r-r-r-really,” Jimmy admitted, watching Tweek with a certain level of curiosity. “These levels of innocence should be imp-p-p-p- Impp- Are practically unheard of.” _Innocence? Oh Jesus, they are making fun of me aren’t they!?_ Panic aside though, he was having fun, and really as long as Craig didn’t care then he was going to try not to stress about it.

To be honest, he was just glad to be able to hang out with his friends again. Now that the horrible game was over, everyone was getting along again and it was relieving to say the least. They’d even invited Jimmy over, now that he was no longer an Elven mercenary. Overnight, the entire game had just vanished, and Tweek was sincerely glad that it had. He was tired of dealing with it, and this calm was frankly wonderful. Besides, he had Craig at his side, and that made everything so much better.

Bebe was even coming over later! Though he wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen, he was pretty sure that Clyde was going to ask her out, which made him really excited. He knew that they both liked each other, so it only made sense that they’d start dating now that the game was over and Craig and Bebe had broken up. It was nice, not having that ball of jealousy rise up every time he thought about the pretty blond girl. He enjoyed Bebe, and he was glad that his own fucked up emotions weren’t getting in the way of that anymore.

_And Craig’s happier now too, so it’s not that selfish, is it?_

Leaning against the Noirette, Tweek let his eyes flutter closed, even though usually the action would have made him paranoid and twitchy. The night before had been insane, and more than a little stressful. He could still picture Kenny’s bleeding form as he stumbled away, but… Maybe it really was just his imagination. Despite not being sure, he was still going to apologize to Kenny. No matter what had happened, he felt horrible about it.

Of course the rest of the night had been slightly better. After they’d _defeated_ or really just saved Clyde, they’d managed to get around to fixing all of the things that his meddling had torn apart. With the girls, the goths, and even some of the ginger hall monitors that had gotten roped into the whole thing, they’d managed to put things back together. At some point they’d had to give up because the storm had gotten too bad, but they’d mostly cleared out the zombies from the town and helped the Government cover up the whole incident completely. They’d even airlifted the UFO wreckage in chunks.

Which in Tweek’s mind was a good thing. He never wanted to see that thing again. No matter how adept Craig and he had been at escaping, Tweek was tired of Aliens.

Pushing the thoughts from his mind, Tweek buried his head into Craig’s side and just went limp, happy to be cared for, content to be warm and comfortable. It had been too long since he’d felt this good, and he wasn’t going to lie and say he didn’t like it. Waking up with Craig that morning had been one of the best things he’d ever felt, and he hardly cared if that made him sound weak, because it was true.

“So, did you hear about P-P-Principal Victoria?” Jimmy asked curiously, opening a second can of soda. The pop and fizzing sound that followed made Tweek wish that he had his coffee. Quickly ducking out from under Craig’s arms and almost falling off of the couch in his haste to get to his own drink, Tweek’s stomach warmed the moment he had his hands on it.

“Yes actually, my parents get the school emails. I saw something was going on,” Token commented, watching Tweek impassively as he rapidly sucked down more than half of the coffee in the mug in one go. As the caffeine, or more accurately, the idea of caffeine hit his system, Tweek felt some of his uncontrollable shivering calm down.

“You’re just going to leave the rest of us hanging?” Clyde complained, finally squirming off of the couch and almost literally worming his way under the coffee table. Observing the happy brunet as he popped out on the other side, Tweek scurried back towards Craig, who was examining a piece of popcorn boredly. “Come on Jimmy, spill it!”

“So apparently,” Jimmy began once more, drawing out his voice now that he had a captive audience. “After everything that h-happened, the school board asked Principal Victoria t-t-t- They asked her t-t- Her immediate resignation was requested.” Tweek let out a startled sound at the thought of their school’s Owl just _leaving_ them. Not that he particularly had any love for the woman, but just on principal he couldn’t imagine her being replaced by someone else.

“Does that mean we’re going to get a new principle?” Clyde asked excitedly, pausing in his turning on of Token’s gaming systems so he could stare at Jimmy intently. “That would be so cool! Or actually, it could be really bad if we don’t like who it is, but there’s no way they could be worse than her, right? She was a terrible principle.”

Helping Tweek back onto the love seat so that he didn’t spill his coffee, Craig boredly said, “Things can always get worse.” _No, don’t say things like that!!_ Letting out a screech, Tweek almost spilled hot liquid all over Craig, who instantly set the popcorn bowl down on the table so he could steady the blond’s hands. “But I’m sure that they won’t,” Craig hurried to say, his eyes calmly fixing on Tweek’s face. “Whoever it is, they’re going to be fine.”

“If it m-makes you feel any better, they’re going to wait to r-r-r-replace her until next school year,” Jimmy informed Tweek, a bright smile on his face.

Keeping his eyes trained on Craig, who just watched him steadily, Tweek at last nodded shakily and mumbled, “Ngh- As long as th-the new principle isn’t an Alien or something, then I guess it’ll be f-fine.” Feeling a little stupid for his outburst, Tweek briefly lifted his coffee up to his lips and drained the rest before rocking forward and falling into Craig’s lap with a sigh.

Allowing him to stay there, Craig’s fingers dragged through Tweek’s hair calmly, soothing the tremors that were still working their way down his spine. After a moment of silence, Token asked, “So do you have any idea who it’s going to be?”

“N-no idea~” Jimmy answered sublimely. “Though I’ve b-b-b-been thinking that this school could use a good m-m-makeover in terms of m-managem-m-ment.” Tweek wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, but then, he didn't know as much about this kind of thing as Token or Jimmy did. Thankfully, Clyde was just as clueless as he was, and much more willing to express his confusion.

“Okay, I’m stupid, what’s that supposed to mean?” Clyde asked, rolling backwards so he could stare at Token and Jimmy upside down. It was amusing enough that Tweek managed a slight giggle. Above him, Craig tugged on his hair playfully, prompting the blond to look up at the Noirette with a small, twitching smile. Reaching up, Tweek retaliated by pulling on one of the strings of Craig’s chullo before giggling at the boy’s flat expression and hiding his face in the taller boy’s knee once more.

“It means that the times have moved on and Principle Victoria wasn’t,” Token explained, flipping through the book that he’d left all but forgotten in his lap. “South Park is a little… Slow compared to the rest of the country, which isn’t necessarily a terrible thing, but it’s definitely inconvenient for certain groups of people. I personally think this is an excellent step, if we do indeed get someone better.”

“Oh Jesus! They wouldn’t -rrr- give us someone worse would they?” Tweek squeaked, his voice muffled by Craig’s jeans. _Why would they do that? Making things worse wouldn’t make any sense, it would be terrible!_ “I don’t think I could handle that, it would be way too much pressure!!”

Craig’s hand ran down the side of Tweek’s exposed neck, and the sensation distracted him from his panic. “It’s okay,” Craig told him, his voice rumbling and comforting this close to the boy. “They wouldn’t do something that stupid.”

“They might,” Clyde said dubiously, before his bright laugh broke through his own worry. “But that’s alright Teacup, you’ll have us with you! And Craig. Together, it won’t matter who our new principal is, promise.” Smiling slightly at Clyde’s positive words, Tweek settled down slightly under Craig’s hand.

“Y-yeah, I guess,” Tweek agreed, however grudgingly.

“I’m going to be c-c-c- Talking about it in the next issue of the school newspaper,” Jimmy commented excitedly. “It should made some very good r-reading.” Token nodded in agreement, but Tweek’s attention had already wandered back to Craig, who was staring at him intently as he brushed his fingers through Tweek’s hair. _He’s been doing that since he met me, hasn’t he?_ Amazing that Craig, someone who half a year ago had never talked to him, had learned how to help him so easily. It was… Well, Tweek wasn’t sure how to describe that feeling inside of him, he’d never felt it before in his life.

Though he would have focused on this for longer no doubt, Tweek was distracted by the sound of the doorbell ringing somewhere above him. Popping up, almost smacking Craig in the nose in his haste to get up, Tweek looked at Clyde and shrieked, “BEBE!!” in excitement. Eyes widening as well, Clyde suddenly bounced to his feet, almost falling over again in his haste to get up. Escaping Craig, Tweek slipped and slid up the stairs as he rushed to get to the door.

Smacking his shoulder into the door in his exuberance and eagerness, but not particularly caring, Tweek fumbled with the door and danced backwards as Clyde pulled the door open to reveal Bebe, who was smiling brightly and looking fully rested as opposed to exhausted as she’d appeared last time he’d seen her. Grinning from ear to ear, Tweek let Bebe crush him in a happy hug, returning it with almost as much enthusiasm.

“Tweek!” she exclaimed, holding him at arm’s length so she could smile at him perfectly. “I’m so glad to see you, you look so much better!” Glancing over his shoulder, the girl’s face went bright pink and she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Clyde!” she exclaimed, her voice doing something weird when she said his name. “Hi.”

“Hey Bebe,” Clyde said, in the same breathless voice. Looking between the two red-faced children, Tweek let out a squeak before quickly wiggling away from Bebe so he wouldn’t have to be between that weird energy they’d suddenly developed. _Besides, I don’t want to catch their fever._ Thankfully, he backed up into a wall of human that he just automatically associated with Craig. Looking up at the boy, Tweek let out a soft, involuntary sound that was met with a raised eyebrow as if to ask him _What do you think about them?_

Wiggling against Craig, Tweek bit his lip and pulled a face as if to say, _they’re weird, but that’s okay, because I’m pretty sure it’s normal for them._ Leaning down slightly so he could rest his chin on the top of Tweek’s head, Craig looked at the two of them and the blond could almost feel the Noirette’s raised eyebrows.

“Hey Craig~” Bebe greeted, a more normal smile touching her face as she turned to face the boy. “You’re looking happy.”

“Ye _p,”_ Craig answered matter o’factly. Still hardly able to contain his general excitement, Tweek squirmed about a little more before settling down when Craig wrapped his arms around him.

“I guess we’re all just gathering up here now,” Token muttered, walking out of the basement with Jimmy in toe. “Bebe, it’s good to see you. I’m glad that the zombie scratch didn’t infect you.”

Holding up her arm, which had several band-aids that Tweek had dug up stretched over it, Bebe smiled and glanced over at Clyde before looking back at Tokoen. “Yeah, so am I. It would have been unfortunate if I got turned into a Zombie, to be honest. I wouldn’t have much enjoyed that.” Tweek couldn’t imagine that _anyone_ would want to get turned into a Zombie, but there were some weird people in South Park. At least one person would probably like it.

“I’m just surprised that everyone imp-p-p- Important survived,” Jimmy commented absently. “After all of that drama, I would have expected more death.” Which just made Tweek think about Kenny, but to be fair, the idea of the sandy-blond and death were entirely connected in the twitchy boy’s mind, so that made a certain amount of sense. _I just hope he’s alright._

“So!” Clyde announced suddenly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Wanna head downstairs?” Looking over at the boy, Tweek sensed his nervousness and remembered what he’d said earlier about asking Bebe out. _I’m so happy for them, I know they’ll be perfect together._ Of course, it was now a matter of seeing of Clyde could follow through with it, but he was a whole lot braver than Tweek was, so he’d probably be fine.

Bobbing her head, Bebe turned her warm mocha eyes towards Clyde and sweetly said, “That sounds wonderful~ I mean, if that’s what everyone else wants to do.” As she glanced at everyone else, Tweek felt Craig shrug and move off of his head.

“Why not,” the Noirette commented, before catching Tweek’s hand in his own and pulling him downstairs ahead of everyone else. Softly, far enough ahead that the others couldn’t hear him, Craig murmured, “How long do you think it’s going to take Clyde to actually ask her out.”

Twitching, Tweek rumerated over the question for a moment before answering back, “N-not long! Clyde’s really _really_ excited about this, s-so he’s going to ask her out soon!” Keeping his voice as soft as he could, Tweek squeaked, “Grr- I hope she says yes.”

Straightening, Craig looked straight ahead with a simple kind of assurance that Tweek hadn’t seen on the boy’s face in a long time. “She will, she likes him,” Craig reassured Tweek, even though he already knew it to be true. Hiding the involuntary sound that escaped him behind a hand, Tweek grinned through his fingers and looked up at Craig excitedly. The Noirette just sucked in his cheeks and smiled slightly back, squeezing Tweek’s fingers gently.

The moment everyone had gotten back down into the basement, Jimmy was turning on the gaming system and Clyde was trying to teach Bebe how to play as Craig and Tweek called over encouragement from the bar. It was actually a pretty relaxing feeling, almost like it was a normal Saturday evening. _Actually, it is normal, isn’t it?_ Weird, normal now felt strange, but Tweek liked it all the same. He’d missed this.

Before long, they were all talking about the game again, reliving the best moments from the final battle. Tweek was lying flat on the floor at Craig’s feet giggling helplessly while Jimmy theatrically retold the story of how Chris Donnelly had fallen on his head after a particularly good bardic song, and Bebe was throwing in her own bits of the story because she’d been there as well. Though the event probably wouldn’t have been funny when it happened, after the fact, it all seemed hilarious. And Tweek needed to laugh, they all did.

Attempting to catch his breath, Tweek let out a slow breath before asking, “So are all the girls okay?”

“Red keeps complaining that she broke a nail,” Bebe said offhandedly, waving the matter away like it wasn’t important at all. “It’s okay though, Henrietta is taking her to the mall and they’re going to get them redone apparently. Honestly, I didn’t even know the Goths could _go_ to the mall, I thought they’d have a heart attack from all the mainstream-ness.”

Rolling his eyes, Craig mimed holding a cigarette and said, in a flat but admittedly good impression of Michael, “Ugh, you guys are all such wannabe conformists.” Falling into giggles once more, Tweek rolled when Craig nudged him playfully with a foot. Continuing with his impresion, Craig put his chin in the air and said, “My black makeup hides how dead I am inside, these lights are too cheerful, they’re really just symbols of the ways society is degrading around us.”

Laughing as well, Clyde dragged his hair over his face in his best impression of Pete before groaning and saying, “Oh my god, you’re going to the mall where all the Posers are? No waaaayy~” Everyone was laughing now, even Token was chuckling at this point, though he was attempting to hide it behind his book.

Clearing her throat, Bebe picked up a pencil and delicately pursed her lips around the tip before saying, “Come on you guys, I’m only going there because, like, I want to remind myself how dead everyone is inside, and how everything is just an illusion because everything is sadness and death.” Clutching his sides as the laughter started to make his stomach hurt, Tweek scrambled to pull himself to his feet so he could grin at his friends, who were all smiling too. Even Craig had managed a slight smile.

“Imagine if you did go Goth though,” Clyde said to Bebe, struggling to get his vocal chords back under control.

“And dyed my hair black and read poetry all day,” Bebe joked back, giggling. “Oh yes, I’m sure that would be a great look on me.”

“I think you’d look great no matter what you did,” Clyde said instantly, before his eyes widened and Bebe’s cheeks went pink.

“Oh my,” Jimmy said, grinning. “It appears that s-s-s-someone has something to say.” He looked pointedly at Clyde, who went as red as Bebe.

“Go on,” Token prompted, glancing up from his book so he could watch the two of them in mild amusement. “Don’t make it awkward.”

Clearing his throat, Clyde turned to Bebe, opened his mouth, and let out a strangled sound. “Guys,” he complained, covering his face ineffectively with a hand. “You’re making it weird now. Come on, that’s so uncool. I look like an idiot.”

Schooling her own expression, Bebe turned to face Clyde completely and folded her hands in front of her. “They’re just being weird. What was it you wanted to ask me.”

“If you don’t do it, I’m going to punch you,” Craig warned flatly.

“Guyyyyssss,” Clyde whined, dragging out the word. But when no one else said anything, he squirmed and turned to Bebe, whose cheeks were dusted pink and whose eyes were lit brightly. Taking a deep breath once more, Clyde said, “Um… Bebe…” He paused again, and Tweek twitched and shivered as the tension in the room grew. Suddenly letting out a woosh of air, Clyde said in a rush, “Okay so the thing is I have had a _huge_ crush on you for a really long time and I know you just broke up with Craig but I was wondering-”

“Yes,” Bebe said, cutting Clyde’s tirade off. “Yes yes _yes.”_ When Clyde’s eyes widened in surprise, Bebe laughed musically and lunged forward, hugging the boy tightly. “Of course I want to be your girlfriend Clyde Donovan you wonderful idiot, _yes.”_

“Okay,” Clyde said in a small voice, before hugging Bebe back tightly.

“How ad-d-d-d- How addd- How wonderful and sweet,” Jimmy said brightly.

Glancing back at Craig, whose eyebrows were raised, Tweek giggled happily as the tension in the room turned to joy and everyone else started laughing and talking once more. Bouncing over to the Noirette, Tweek asked, “Are you happy for them??”

“Of course,” Craig answered, ruffling Tweek’s hair. Eyes suddenly widening slightly, Craig turned towards the clock and flatly said, “Hey Toke??”

“Yeah?” the black boy answered back.

Looking back at Tweek with an unreadable expression in his eyes, Craig said, “Tweek and I are going to be upstairs, okay?” Without waiting for Token’s answer, Craig slipped off of his stool and pulled Tweek after him as they headed towards the stairs. Unable and really unwilling to do more than stumble after him, Tweek hurried to keep up as the boy pulled him towards the other flight of stairs that would take them higher in the house.

“Where are we g-going?” Tweek asked as the second floor became a distant memory and the third floor landing approached them. He wasn’t worried really, it was Craig, but he was curious. It wasn’t often that the boy suddenly pulled him away to unknown locations.

“You’ll see,” Craig answered as they finally reached the fourth and final floor. Pulling the boy towards Token’s dad’s office, Craig grabbed for the neatly folded blanket that lay over one of the chairs in the room and ignored Tweek’s squeak of fear as he realized where they were. “Don’t worry,” he said instantly, obviously aware of what had stressed Tweek out. “He’s not even home. He’s away with Token’s mom, they won’t be back till later tomorrow, remember?”

Drawing Tweek towards the large bay window at the back of the room, Craig said, “Besides.” The latch popped open. “You’ll want to see this.”

Helping Tweek onto the roof, which was admittedly flat at this part of the house, Craig laid the blanket out and pulled the boy down easily. Tumbling into Craig’s lap, the blond looked at the Noirette in confusion till he realised that the boy was already looking up at the night sky. Only spending a second wondering what was going on, Tweek realized what this was, and quickly turned his eyes upwards.

Stars. Instantly feeling his body relaxing as Craig’s pure joy seemed to seep into his usually twitchy form, Tweek’s eyes shifted over the beautiful scene as the Noirette leaned back, letting them stare at them a bit better. Letting Craig wrap them both up in the blanket, Tweek nestled his head beside Craig’s and listened as the boy started to talk.

“I know it’s been a while,” Craig began, his voice already distant as his mind drifted off into Outer Space. “But I missed staring at the stars with you. And it’s been so stormy and cold recently, it hasn’t been any fun, but Token’s house has always had a really great view, and I wanted to show you.” _He wanted to show me, not anyone else, just me._ Letting himself be happy about that, Tweek tangled his fingers in Craig’s shirt and nodded.

“I m-missed it too,” Tweek admitted, wiggling so he was properly wedged in beside Craig, stealing the Noirette’s warmth.

“I really missed you Tweek,” Craig said, his voice soft. “I missed… everything, really. Shit, I sound like an idiot.”

“No, not really,” Tweek assured the boy, letting his eyes trail over the beautiful galaxy above them. “I mean, if you’re an idiot -ngh- then I’m an even _bigger_ idiot! So w-we can just be idiots together.”

“Okay,” Craig agreed simply in his perfectly even and wonderful voice.

“So are you going to tell me the constellations?” Tweek prompted at last, once the silence had stretched on long enough. Feeling the way Craig’s smile pulled at his neck, the blond was satisfied that he’d made the other boy happy. In the end, that’s all he really wanted to do.

Lifting a hand, Craig pointed at the sky and said, “If you look over there, you can see the Twins now. They’re called Castor and Pollux, and Token says they’re from Greek mythology. Look, they’re holding hands.” Moving his finger, Craig said, “And if you look over there, you can see a lesser known constellation called Hades. It’s that V of stars, see? Oh, and that bright star over there is Sirius. It’s so bright, that they name it in most constellation books. And over there-”

Craig kept talking, but Tweek’s mind just drifted, because finally, he felt like everything really had gone back to normal. And that feeling was wonderful.

Because if Craig stood with him, how could anyone stand against him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *so fucking fluffy*
> 
> So, gimme like four more chapters before we start moving onto the important things. You're going to love what comes after this, I just need a lil more resolution and fluff. Promise it'll move onto the good shit soon.
> 
> Hugs to everyone back at the discord, and hugs to the fam squad, whom I miss with all of my heart. These days of isolation have not been easy, but I know you guys are all there being strong, so I can be strong too!
> 
> Ta-ta for now~


	105. Perfectly Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK WE'RE FOUR HOURS LATE FOR THIS GODDAMN BULLSHIT
> 
> In other words, I have work in like twenty minutes.
> 
> Enjoy.

“Hey asshole!! Wake up!!” Jerking upright in bed, still half asleep, Craig glared at his door as Tweek tumbled off of his chest and whined as Ruby shoved open the door and threw on the lights. “You’ve had a week doing nothing, get up,” she informed him, tossing her strawberry blond hair out of her eyes.

“Ngh- w-why does it have to be so bright,” Tweek mumbled in complaint, grabbing Craig’s Red Racer blanket and pulling it over his head in an attempt to block out Craig’s overhead lamp. “Is it really already M-monday?”

“Yes, it is,” Ruby said shortly, crossing her arms and staring at the wriggling Tweek with an impassive expression that mimicked the one her brother was giving her at that very moment. “That’s how the days work Tweek. Come on, get up, you two are going to be late if you plan on walking there.”

“Ruby, kindly get the fuck out,” Craig grumbled, adjusting his ratty chullo and blinking himself awake. Nudging Tweek with his knee, which only drew another pitiful moan from the boy, the Noirette raised an eyebrow at his sister.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that you always stay up way too late with Tweek,” Ruby told him, rolling her eyes. “Now hurry up, Kare is gonna meet me at the bus stop and I’m _not_ going to be late because of _you.”_ Whirling around, the girl vanished, all but slamming the door behind her.

Peering down his nose at Tweek, who was attempting to burrow further into Craig’s blankets, the Noirette snorted softly. As if he could read Craig’s thoughts, the blond let out a squeak of indignation and wiggled his butt as he attempted to escape Craig’s line of sight. Deciding that Ruby had a point in saying they’d be late if they didn’t get up, Craig grabbed Tweek’s waist and easily dislodged the boy from his bed, causing him to screech.

“OH JESUS DON’T DROP ME!!” Tweek yelped, clinging to Craig’s head and twitching violently as if he expected the Noirette to throw him across the room. Carefully prying the boy off of his face, Craig set him down on his feet and blinked down at him, raising an eyebrow as he did so.

“Are you awake now?” Craig asked, the slightest hint of a joke playing in his eyes. Screwing up his face in a grotesque expression, as if in irritation, Tweek pushed him, causing Craig to stumble slightly. Despite being able to lift the boy, Tweek definitely made up for his height in power.

“Y-you’re such a bastard Craig Tucker,” Tweek mumbled, turning pink as Craig snorted again and fluffed the boy’s hair. Rubbing at his eyes, knuckling the sleep out of them jerkily, the blond looked around once more and muttered, “Rrr- why did she have to t-turn on the lights?” Stumbling away from Craig and towards the light switch, Tweek pawed the thing off, throwing them back into a more comfortable level of darkness.

“We still have to go to school,” Craig reminded the boy, rummaging around in one of his drawers for a shirt that he hadn’t worn recently enough for it to be dirty. Finding a long sleeved one that was good enough in his book, the Noirette tossed it in Tweek’s direction before finding clothing of his own. Despite their less than graceful awakening, Craig wasn’t particularly upset one way or another about the reopening of the Elementary school. After everything that had happened, this would just be yet another level of normality to regain.

Struggling to remove Craig’s predictably overlarge sweatpants, Tweek scrambled around for the jeans he’d worn the day before as he said, “Didn’t take them long to f-fix everything I guess.” Well, that was debatable. By South Park standards, a week to fix a wall and some windows was actually pretty long, but he knew what Tweek was getting at. It didn’t _feel_ like it had been a week, it felt like the blink of an eye.

“I guess they think our education is important,” Craig commented blandly, earning himself a little giggle from Tweek, who understandably found the idea of the teachers actually caring to be pretty funny. Pulling on the fresh shirt, a black one that proudly proclaimed _Apollo 11, 1969,_ the boy sucked in his cheeks before saying, “I guess we’ve just been busy, so it doesn’t feel like long.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Tweek agreed, dancing about Craig’s room in amusing little circles as he tried to get his jeans on. Lending a smile in response to the blond’s antics, Craig headed over to Stripe’s cage and checked to make sure his Guinea Pig had enough food and water. Opening the little door, Craig pulled the squeaking creature out and stroked it for a few seconds, watching it fondly as it nudged Craig’s fingers, as if looking for food.

Glancing up at Tweek, who was currently attempting to disentangle himself from Craig’s admittedly huge shirt, Craig asked, “So, are you ready for this?” He wasn’t precisely sure what he was asking about, but in his mind there was a lot to be ready for. After everything, it would be weird to walk back into school and find everything back to normal. Though Craig was pretty sure he wouldn’t care, he knew how Tweek was.

That being said, the blond didn’t seem to be too stressed out about it. “Jesus, as long as they don’t put all of you in detention!” Despite his words, he seemed to be alright. Pulling the shirt over his head and holding up his drowned hands pathetically, Tweek glanced up at Craig and shivered as he asked, “They w-wouldn’t do that, right?? I mean, we saved the whole town! They wouldn’t punish us for that -grrr- would they?!”

Replacing Stripe in the cage gently, Craig walked over to the other cute presence in his life and ran his fingers through Tweek’s hair. “It’s okay,” the boy said in his usual monotone. “Even if they do, we’ll survive.” Nodding jerkily, Tweek fussed with his hidden hands before ducking out from under Craig’s touch and quickly grabbing his thermos off the floor where he’d left it the night before. As he held it up, clearly about to ask for coffee, Craig snorted and called, “RUBY!”

As Tweek shrieked, obviously startled by the sudden noise, there was a banging from elsewhere in the upstairs. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!” Slamming the door open once more, Ruby swung into Craig’s room, scaring Tweek into yelping and leaping backwards. As the blond’s thermos tumbled from his hands, Craig stooped to catch it and felt the silver slip through his fingers.

“Fuck.” Stooping to pick it up quickly, Craig held it out for his sister and said, “I have to finish getting my stuff together for school. Can you help Tweek get coffee?”

Grabbing the thermos, Ruby walked over to Tweek and stared at him. It amused Craig that his six year old sister was only a couple inches shorter than Tweek, who trembled and seemed to shrink under her gaze. Suddenly brightening, if not with a smile then with a dropping of her death stare, Ruby said, “Yeah, sure! Come on Tweek, let’s go get coffee.” Seizing one of the blond’s hands, Ruby all but dragged him out of the room, thinking nothing of the blond’s pathetic attempts to not be taken away.

“You’ll be fine,” Craig told him when Tweek whimpered softly. Making good on his original intentions the moment his sister and Tweek vanished from view, Craig quickly took all of the remaining game parahanalia out of his backpack and replaced his school stuff into it, not the least bit regretful to see the change. After a week spent _not_ thinking about the game, Craig was even more sure that he was glad it was over. Everything was _normal_ or at least as normal as a place like South Park could get, and for Craig, who loved routine, this was a good thing.

Hearing a screech from downstairs, Craig said a mental prayer of thanks to whatever asshole in the sky that was listening that his parents were already off at work before shouldering his and Tweek’s backpacks and thumping down the stairs. Dropping the bags off with his sister’s beside the front door, Craig headed for the kitchen and was honestly unsurprised to find Tweek crouching on the kitchen counter and Ruby staring up at him exasperatedly.

“Ugh, Craig, tell Tweek to get off the counter,” Ruby complained, crossing her arms.

“JESUS YOU JUST BROKE GLASS AND Y-YOU DIDN’T EVEN PICK IT UP!!!” Tweek yelped, his eyes wide and accusing, “D-do you have any idea how _dangerous_ that is?! Oh god, y-you’re going to get cut and it’s going to get infected and -ngh- YOU’RE GONNA DIE!!” Sighing, Craig looked at the floor to find that indeed, Ruby had managed to break another empty bottle. Well, if it wasn’t him it was her. They both had a propensity for breaking things.

Hooking a hand around the broom as he walked past it, Craig ignored the smell of stale beer that had pervaded the kitchen after the bottle broke and instead patiently sweeped up the glass while Ruby just shrugged and went back to making coffee for Tweek. Once he was satisfied that all the glass was up, Craig quickly deposited the shards in the trash and looked back at Tweek. “You’ll be fine dude,” he calmly told the blond, gesturing towards the floor. “It’s all gone. Besides, you’ve gotten cut by glass before.”

Hand instantly going for his face and the little white scars there, Tweek’s eyes flickered to the floor as he mumbled out something indiscernible and twitched worriedly. Watching the boy for a moment, as if doing so would give him some insight into his mind, Craig eventually just shrugged it off and walked back over to Tweek. Wrapping his arms around him, ignoring the frightened squeak Tweek let out when he was flipped upside down for a moment, Craig cradled the boy in his arms and just stood there as he waited for Ruby to finish Tweek’s coffee.

Giving them both a weird look, Ruby shook her head and muttered, “Ugh, boys,” before tossing Tweek his now full thermos. Eyes widening, Tweek suddenly lunged out to catch the silver object, and Craig had to lunge with him to prevent dropping the blond. Thankfully, he was more than a little adept at this, and both Tweek and the thermos were fine.

“Come on Craig, put down Tweek and let’s go, we’re seriously going to be late!” Ruby called, darting out of the kitchen and back towards the front door. Rolling his eyes down to Tweek, who giggled and stared up at him with those vividly green eyes, Craig raised an eyebrow as if asking the blond _do you want to listen to her,  or should we make her late for fun?_

Wiggling, Tweek bit his lip on a grin, and Craig could just see the mischief sparking in those orbs, and Craig could just see him answering, _I don’t know, do you think she’ll yell at us anymore?_ Eyebrows twitching, Craig smiled when Tweek’s hand snaked up and tugged his chullo down playfully before squirming out of Craig’s arms and landing on the floor in his usual tangled way.

Following the shorter boy, entirely satisfied with how his morning was going, Craig hardly cared when Ruby scoffed and tossed his backpack at him roughly before shouting, “Come on dumbass! You’re such a snail.” Catching his bag, Craig deftly swung it over his shoulder and waited for Tweek to pick up his own things before striding out of the door, locking it behind them.

For a march morning, it was remarkably mild out, and Craig found himself turning his face up towards the sun before rolling his neck and striding after the other two kids. As he fell into step beside Tweek, their usual places just coming as second nature, Craig looked around and asked, “So who were we meeting again.”

“Karen!” Tweek answered for Ruby, who apparently had been preparing to ignore her brother anyway. The moment the name left his mouth, Tweek’s eyes widened and he grabbed the Noirette’s arm so he could shake it insistently. Staring down at the twitching blond, it took Craig a few seconds before he realized why the boy was making that face at him.

“D-do you think-?” Tweek started nervously, shivering and nibbling at his lip.

“McCormick always walks with Karen,” Craig said easily, his hand already going for Tweek’s hair. Allowing the blond to hold onto the hem of his shirt, the taller boy waited for Tweek’s twitches to lessen before saying, “I promise you, he’s not dead. Ruby was over at their house earlier this week, I would have heard if he’d died.”

“I know,” Tweek mumbled, hiding his face in Craig’s side despite his words. Letting out a quiet sigh, Craig just put an arm around Tweek’s shoulder and kept walking. They hadn’t really talked about Kenny over the past week, but Craig had been able to see how much it was bothering Tweek. Whenever Craig had gotten him to open up about it, the blond had admitted to other times as well, instances where he’d seen Kenny die and then the mischievous boy turned out to be alright, but this past time sounded like the most vivid. To be honest, what Craig cared most about was Tweek’s mental stability, but the idea of Kenny getting hurt badly enough for the twitchy blond to believe he’d died was worrying.

“You’ll be able to talk to him,” Craig told Tweek steadily. Though Kenny could be annoying, without the game around, he didn’t really find much active irritation rising up at the thought of the Sandy-blond, which was good, because Tweek was clearly worried about him. _And I don’t want Tweek to think I’m a total asshole._ Heh, well, that ship had already kind of sailed, but whatever, right? “He’s going to be fine.”

“Yeah Tweek,” Ruby agreed, catching onto the tail end of the conversation. “Karen’s brother is weird, but he’s fine. I mean, unless something happened since last time I saw them.” Peaking up through his wild hair, Tweek caught Craig’s eyes and whimpered softly. In return, Craig tightened the arm around the blond’s shoulders until the boy finally relaxed. Glancing up at his sister, Craig offered her a twitch of his eyebrow before refocusing on the blond.

To be honest, he was glad his sister and Tweek seemed to get along. It had never really been something that he’d actively worried about before, but considering how close he was to Tweek, he was sort of glad that the one good family member he had was cool with the blond. She was a bit short, sure, but she didn’t swear at him like she did at Craig, and she was almost patient, which was nothing short of miraculous when put in the context of Ruby’s usual behavior.

And Tweek, for all intents and purposes, seemed to be alright with his sister too. Though he was a little skittish, relatively, around the abrasive girl, for the most part he’d taken to her. Obviously not to the extent he had to Clyde or Token, or even Bebe, but certainly to the point where Craig didn’t feel bad leaving him in his sister’s hands. Not that Tweek _needed_ someone to watch him, the Noirette just felt better to know that he wasn’t alone.

Tweek had spent enough of his life alone.

“SO YOU’RE FINALLY WEARING THAT SHIRT!!” Attention snapping up at that yell, Craig found Karen waving her arms madly at Ruby, who was waving back. “Oh my god, I thought that I’d helped you pick it out for nothing,” the youngest McCormick said, running across the street so she could walk next to her friend.

“The weather hasn’t been warm enough Kare, when did you _expect_ me to wear it?” Ruby asked, swatting at Karen as the giggling girl yanked at one of her pigtails before darting around to her other side. “Like, I’m not Tweek, I don’t decide to just run around without proper clothing on in the middle of winter.”

“Hey, I was a -rrr- Barbarian!” Tweek insisted, swelling up to his full height. Snorting at the admittedly adorable attempt from the boy to be intimidating, Craig ruffled Tweek’s hair, distracting him. Jerking his head up towards Craig, Tweek bounced on the balls of his feet and squeaked, “W-wasn’t I a terrifying barbarian?!”

“Yes,” Craig said very seriously, nodding stoically. “Absolutely terrifying. All of the Elves were scared of you dude.”

“Of course they were Tweeky, you’re nothing short of _vicious.”_ At the sound of that voice, Tweek’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates and he dropped his thermos. Even as Craig was ducking down to catch it, Tweek pushed Karen and Ruby out of the way so he could dart across the street, his arms flung out wide.

“K-KENNY!!!” Tweek yelled, the wild excitement in his voice almost making Craig frown. Sure enough, the sandy-blond was standing there, hands in his pockets, smirk on his lips, blue eyes glittering in the sunlight. At Tweek’s shout, the boy flourished his hands dramatically and started to bow before Tweek caught him in a bear hug that made Kenny stumble back a couple inches. “Y-YOU’RE ALIVE!!”

For a moment, just a second, Craig could have sworn that Kenny’s face went blank, but then the boy was chuckling easily and patting the top of Tweek’s head bemusedly. “Ah, of _course_ I am Tweekers~! Hope I didn’t disappoint you.”

“Asshole, Craig muttered, finally catching up. “Does he look disappointed?”

“Well you do Fucker,” Kenny mocked lightly, his eyebrows wiggling. “C’mon, were you expecting something else?” Looking over the boy once more, Craig shook the weird feeling hanging around him out of his head, deciding to just take Kenny’s words on face value. He’d had enough of the sandy-blond’s bullshit thanks to the game to last a lifetime.

“He’s n-not disappointed!” Tweek insisted into Kenny’s parka, still strangling the boy’s middle in a hug. “Jesus, after everything th-that happened on Friday, we were _both_ worried about you.” _Well, I mean I wasn’t really worried,_ the Noirette almost said, having never been one to really care about most other people in general. When he caught that same lost look in Kenny’s eyes however, Craig decided not to correct the blond.

“Worried?” Kenny asked, removing Tweek from him and looking him over. “Come on, why would you be worried about little ol’ me?” Though Craig wasn’t Token, he did manage to catch the look that Karen tossed her brother briefly before going back to her conversation with Ruby. _It doesn’t matter, it’s just Kenny’s usual stupidity._

“Ngh- b-because I saw you die!!” Tweek insisted, his eyes wide and plaintive as he stared at Kenny. For a moment, everything around them seemed to stop, and Kenny’s smile dropped slightly as he stared at Tweek, who didn’t seem to notice the change. _What-?_ Craig began to wonder, before Tweek added, “I mean, I -ghn- _know_ I was just imagining it, b-but I was still really worried!!”

Instantly, Kenny’s smile brightened once more and the world seemed to return to normal. “Look at you Tweekers, with that overactive mind of yours, it’s gonna get you in trouble some day.” Rapping his knuckles against the blond’s forehead, causing Tweek to let out a screech, Kenny chuckled and said, “Don’t worry about me, I never die. I’m alright~”

Reaching out and snagging his own blond, Craig pulled Tweek back to his side and pushed the boy’s coffee back into his hands. “I told you he’s alright,” he said softly, ruffling Tweek’s hair.

Eyes still shifting, Tweek mumbled, “Y-yeah, I guess so,” but he still sucked down several sips of coffee and smiled tentatively.

“So, who’s ready for school?” Kenny asked with a wide grin. “Cause I know that I am!~”

Craig was just happy to be back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!!
> 
> *hugs everyone in reach. Gives Ginger Pinch, Gigi and Ty two hugs each*
> 
> Bye!!!!


	106. After All This Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy...
> 
> *deep breath* My dudes, this continued absence from everyone is not treating me well, but I must persevere. So I'll just keep bringing you fluff.
> 
> Two more chapters, and then I'm taking a break so I can recoup and recover. Hehe, it'll probably only last a couple of days before the demons start eating away at me once more, but I can pretend to be human for a little while, right?? ^.~
> 
> Enjoy.

Fourth grade came to a close far too fast for Tweek Tweak.

After the loneliness of his earlier years, and the never ending drama of actually having friends, the chance of pace was blinding and yet wonderful. Things kept changing. He got a little older, a little taller, and a little happier. The dark circles under his eyes never got any better, and the monsters never got any less scary, but he was learning how to fight the darkness a little more effectively than before, and that was enough.

Mr. Garrison never got any better at teaching, and by the end of the year everyone was sort of hoping that he’d just leave, but there was the prospect of a new teacher on the horizon, and a new principal, though no one knew who yet. Tweek chose not to think about it, and he was happier because of it. Stress, he was discovering, was largely easy to avoid if you knew what would make you worried.

Cartman’s gang never stopped being trouble, but Tweek left them alone. They didn’t seem inclined to involve him in anything, and he didn’t want that to change. It was enough that none of them bothered him anymore. Kyle even smiled at him occasionally, and Stan had helped him more than once when he needed it. That was pretty good in his book.

Kenny never changed, though he hung out with Tweek and his friends a little more often than before. Surprisingly, he didn’t act weird, he was peaceable, and enjoyable to be around, though his loyalties always would lie with Cartman and the others. Sometimes he’d bring Butters along, and though Tweek didn’t quite understand the boy, he’d come to appreciate his presence as well.

Clyde and Bebe stayed together for the rest of the year, and seemed to have no intention of breaking up. Unlike the other poster couple of the fourth grade, they didn’t break up every other week, and they honestly seemed happy. Occasionally, Tweek would seem them holding hands, or Bebe asleep on Clyde’s shoulder, or the boy playing with the blond girl’s hair. It was strangely comforting, to think that something so good could exist in South Park.

Token seemed to think that they’d last for a while, and Tweek had learned that though the black boy could be as mysterious as Kenny with his explanations, he was usually right.

Which is why when Token said that Tweek looked _better,_ the blond boy knew that it meant a whole lot more than that.

And it was true, he felt better. Even though he had never cared much for his physical well being, too busy trying to stay alive for something that specific, Tweek knew that his entire body was benefiting from being _happy._ Truly happy, not just pretending, not just _not_ miserable. No, he was actually smiling more and panicking less. When the attacks did come, he was feeling better more quickly afterward. It was as close to peace as he’d ever gotten.

So even as he sat there in the gym with all the other students who had just listened to Principal Victoria’s farewell speech, waiting for the bell to ring one last time before summer started, Tweek wasn’t nervous about what the future was going to bring, he was just happy that he’d made it this far. _There are so many people, I hope I don’t get trampled!_ Shivering at that, Tweek tilted his head up a little further, secure in the knowledge that he’d be fine. _I don’t have to worry about anything-_

_Riiiinnnnnngggg~!!_

The kids all started screaming and racing for the doors. Almost carried away by the flood, Tweek let out an involuntary sound as reached out and his hand instantly found a familiar old blue hoodie.

- _because I have Craig._

The Noirette had hardly changed at all. It was weird that he was getting taller and Craig wasn’t, but Tweek still knew the boy to be the same  person he’d always been. Still with those deep blue eyes Tweek felt like he could drown in, still with those gentle hands that Tweek knew would never hurt him, still with that slight smile that to Tweek meant the world. He didn’t show any more emotion than before, but Tweek knew that he was happy by the way the light danced in his eyes.

He still cared about Tweek, as miraculous as that sounded. Tweek had learned how to help Craig a bit too. The monsters still haunted the Noirette, but Tweek was quick to let him stay over so that he could keep the taller boy safe. They protected each other, and that made Tweek feel like he was worth something. It was a stupid thought, but he’d never felt needed before. Despite the pain that they felt sometimes, they had each other, and that was _important._

Together, they’d survived fourth grade. To Tweek, that actually felt like an accomplishment instead of just another stage of life.

“Glad that the year is over?” Craig asked in that deep, slightly nasally voice that Tweek had come to know better than his own. _Jesus, am I glad that it’s over?_ Shivering as he tried to formulate an answer, Tweek tightened his hold on Craig’s hoodie and found himself pulled closer when a rush of sixth graders blew past them. Relaxing into the feeling of the Noirette’s arm wrapped tightly around his back, the shorter boy spent a moment just breathing there.

 _So much has happened, I don’t know if I’m ready for it to be over. What if I wake up tomorrow and find out that it was all just a dream? What then??_ Biting his lip, Tweek looked up at Craig and asked, “Ngh- Are you?”

Shrugging easily, pulling Tweek towards the open doors, finally letting the riptide of moving bodies drag them along, Craig said, “It’s just another year, right?” _Is that really all you think about it? Just another year?!_ Sure that was technically true, but to Tweek, everything that had happened had been much more than _just_ another year. Before this, the idea of having friends or having fun had been foreign to Tweek, but somehow in the past nine months, that had all changed. In the blond’s mind, that was pretty amazing.

He would have said as much if Clyde hadn’t come flying out of nowhere, catching Craig around the neck and dragging the Noirette away from Tweek. “CRAIG!!” the brunet yelled at the top of his lungs.

“Motherfucker-!” Craig exclaimed in surprise at about the same moment.

Letting out a screech as his friends both went down, Tweek would have lunged forward if Bebe hadn’t grabbed the blond by the waist and all but spun him around in a hug. “This is amazing!!” she cried joyfully. When Tweek just let out a wail of confusion, Bebe laughed and explained, “School’s out!”  Her face glowed with excitement. Whimpering slightly as he struggled to get his feet back under him, Tweek found himself getting pulled into her contagious merriment anyway.

“Is it just me, or did this last school year feel like it lasted for a decade?” Token asked, stepping up to Craig and Clyde, the former of which was still trying to struggle away from the latter.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Bebe instantly insisted, giggling as Tweek wriggled away from her and went to help Craig pry Clyde off of him. Ending up with the brunet just hugging him instead, Tweek submitted to his fate as the Noirette finally got to his feet. “I mean, it could have been worse, right?”

“Not really,” Craig deadpanned, unimpressed. “Clyde, don’t fucking smother Tweek, he doesn’t deserve that.” Waving off his words, Clyde grinned from ear to ear, only letting go of Tweek when Craig punched his arm in retaliation for his earlier actions.

Laughing, Clyde said, “This year wasn’t all bad, it just had some not so good parts. But it’s better now because it’s _summer.”_ Before this, Tweek hadn’t understood the magic that was contained in that word but when Clyde said it like that, it sounded amazing, something worth getting excited about. “We’re free now! We can do anything!” Vibrating as ideas started to crowd his brain, suggesting all manner of things they could do, Tweek let out a squeak as Craig ruffled his hair.

“As long as it doesn’t involve you getting stuck on the roof again,” Craig said boredly, his expression unchanged. “Then whatever.”

Opening his mouth in an _O_ of betrayal, Clyde complained, “Aw, Craaaaig, don’t say that!!” When Craig just flipped him off, the brunet insisted, “C’mon, not cool man, don’t embarrass me in front of Bebe~!” At once, the blond girl caught her boyfriend in a hug that almost pushed them both over.

“Don’t be silly, I don’t care. I got stuck on the roof of my garage once too so it’s okay,” Bebe confided, giving one of those musical laughs as she butted her nose against Clyde’s cheek happily. Just watching them made Tweek feel happy inside, and he twitchily grinned up at Craig, who was watching them with barely discernible amusement. Catching his gaze, Craig turned to look down at the blond before raising an eyebrow.

“W-what do you usually do during the summer?” Tweek asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Since he’d never really had people to hang out with, the blond generally just got roped into helping out at the coffee shop. His parents would lock him in the back room and forget about him for sometimes entire days, which was undeniably stressful. _I don’t want to spend all summer back there again! I wouldn’t get to spend time with Craig. Or Token and Clyde and Bebe!! That would be so horrible! Jesus, I hope they don’t do that!!_

“OH GOD I DON’T WANT TO GET LOCKED UP!!!” Yanking at his hair hard, Tweek shivered and twitched until Craig dragged him closer with an arm around his shoulder, breaking through his momentary panic. _I said that out loud. Why do I have to be so embarrassing. Who would want to hang out with me?_ Looking down at his feet, feeling stupid, Tweek allowed the hand that landed in his hair to calm him.

“Don’t worry Teacup, we won’t let you get locked up _anywhere,”_ Clyde promised the blond, as if he hadn’t had an outburst at all. “We’re going to do so much, you won’t even have the chance to stop and breathe.” Though that sounded a little dangerous because _jesus, asphyxiation is no laughing matter!_ Tweek decided it was probably preferable to solitude.

From beside Clyde, Bebe smiled and brightly said, “Actually, my family is going hiking in a week, and you guys are all invited!” Reaching out and catching Tweek’s hands, the girl continued, “Several of my girlfriends are coming too, but I really want all of you to come, if you can.”

“Hiking?!” Tweek yelped, his eyes wide. “B-but what about bears!? Or Tigers!? OR LIONS AUGH! JESUS! DO THEY HAVE LIONS IN COLORADO!?” The idea of getting torn apart by ravenous wild animals was terrifying, and the blond found himself once more pulling at his hair in fear. Thankfully, Craig’s arm tightened around his shoulders, reminding the boy of the Noirette’s presence.

“There aren’t going to be any Lions,” Craig said calmly, cutting through Tweek’s worry. “Or Tigers. I’ve never seen any around South Park before.”

“Well,” Clyde began, raising a finger. “There was that one time that-”

“Anything Cartman gets up to doesn’t count,” Token smoothly cut in. Giving Bebe a smile, the boy said, “I think that hiking would be enjoyable actually. The summer has been pretty mild so far, so it should be nice.”

“Yeah!” Clyde agreed, with a much more bombastic brand of enthusiasm. “That would be _so_ much fun!! I’d love to come Bebs~!”

Flushing in response to Clyde’s nickname for her, Bebe turned back to Tweek and lifted her brows imploringly. “Come on Tweek, will you come?” Eyes twinkling as only hers seemed to be able to do, the girl weedled, “I think that you’d have a lot of fun.”

Glancing up at Craig, Tweek shivered, earning himself a tilt of the Noirette’s head. “I’ll go if you do,” Craig told him, his tone even. Well, if Craig was going, then Tweek didn’t want to stay behind, no matter what kinds of terrible animals were out there.

“I -ghn- guess I’ll go,” Tweek said, nibbling on his lip and smiling tentatively. _If I’m with Craig and everyone else, anything would be fun, probably._ Briefly he wondered if the Underpants Gnomes could follow him out into the wilderness, before discarding the thought quickly.

Expression warming, Bebe squeezed Tweek’s hands in excitement and squealed. “This is going to be so much fun!” she exclaimed, smiling widely.

As his friends all started talking about different things to do during their vacation, Tweek’s attention admittedly started to drift. Following the others as they started to leave the school yard and head in the general direction of their various homes, Tweek laced his fingers with Craig’s while he marveled at how much _happier_ everything seemed. For so long everything had been serious and terrifying, without even an inch left for stupid, childish normality, but now things were okay, and he loved it. He was even going hiking!

Okay, sure, if he thought about it too hard his mind instantly started to conjure up a million and one things that could go horribly wrong, but he was excited about it. That was progress. His life had gotten infinitely better since he’d started hanging out with Craig, and Tweek didn’t care that he was still plagued by all of those problems that made him so annoying and disgusting in general, because the Noirette didn’t mind him, and that was what mattered. As if to back this thought up, Craig glanced down at him and squeezed his hand slightly, his blue eyes soft.

It was hard to believe that in a couple of months, they’d be heading into fifth grade and another year of school. _Life is going to just keep getting harder, isn’t it?_ At the thought, Tweek twitched and grabbed for his thermos, which he’d stuffed into the side pocket of his backpack. Because his hand was still occupied with Craig’s, Tweek let the Noirette unscrew the lid of his coffee for him, hardly thinking anything of it. _It’s funny how many habits we have. I wonder if Craig notices them. Probably not, they’re not that special, he probably would stop if he realized what he was doing._

Shoving the thoughts from his brain, or at least pushing them to the back, Tweek sipped at the caffeinated beverage in his hand as he shuffled over the pavement. He’d been drinking a little less recently, mostly letting Craig’s calming presence take the place of his horrible coffee addiction. Of course, he hadn’t kicked it completely, but Tweek was pretty sure that he was doing better. At least his room wasn’t becoming littered with empty mugs as he stayed up till morning drawing and building and trying not to die. Not that he didn’t stay up all night most nights, but details, right?

It wasn’t like he didn’t use that time to his fullest advantage.

Brain traveling to his room and everything it contained, Tweek noticed that they were coming up on their turn and almost tripped as he pulled instantly at Craig’s arm, trying to get the taller boy’s attention. “What’s up dude?” the Noirette asked evenly, turning towards him slightly.

“Wanna come over t-today?” Tweek asked, shivering slightly with excitement. _I can’t believe I almost forgot about this! I’m so distracted, I’ve been thinking about hiking and school. Ugh, I need to be more focused, maybe I really do have ADHD._ When Craig just stared at him, Tweek hurriedly said, “I m-mean- Jesus! I know that we were probably all going to hang out or something, b-because that’s what Clyde and Token were talking about earlier -ngh- but can you come over instead??”

Considering Tweek’s words for a moment, the gears in his brain visibly turning, Craig said, “Yeah, sure,” before squeezing Tweek’s hand again, almost like it was an automatic impulse. The idea that the Noirette just naturally cared about him made something warm lodge in Tweek’s chest. Stopping at the corner and looking towards the other kids, Craig called, “I’m going to Tweek’s house today.”

Looking over his shoulder, Token gave them both a look, as was customary for the black boy, before nodding slowly. “Alright. See you tomorrow.”

“You had better not have fun without me!” Clyde called, laughing when Craig flipped him off. “Seeya Craig!”

“Bye Tweek!” Bebe called, waving perfectly. Jerkily waving as well, Tweek managed a smile before he twitched and let out an involuntary sound as he hurried in the direction of his house, almost pulling Craig along behind him.

“Come on!!” Tweek all but screeched, his eyes widening in excitement as he thought about what Craig would say once he saw what the blond had for him. _He’s going to be so excited. Right? He will like it, right? What if he doesn’t? Oh no, that would be horrible. Jesus, I wouldn’t be able to take that if he didn’t like it!!_ Resolutely shoving the ideas out of his head, Tweek insisted, “It’s -rrr- really important!”

“What is it?” Craig asked, his longer legs helping him make up the distance and keep up with Tweek easily. Despite the blond’s few new inches, the Noirette was still much faster.

“You’ll see!” Tweek promised, his eyes bright and wild as he tugged Craig along behind him.

As they pulled up in front of Tweek’s house, the boy skidded to a halt before dropping Craig’s hand and racing up his front steps. Coming up after him at a much more sedated pace, Craig caught the back of Tweek’s backpack and helped the blond free himself from it. Too set on the surprise he had waiting in his room, Tweek ended up taking far longer than necessary trying to leave his shoes at the door and get the top back on his coffee. Finally though, he managed, and he hurried up the stairs before anything else could prove to be a distraction.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Craig asked, his flat tone conveying bemusement. Grin still set on his face, Tweek just pulled open his door and tumbled into his room, tripping on the lego UFO he’d left on his floor. For a second, the ground loomed in his vision, but then Craig’s arm swooped around his middle, pulling him up. Catching his breath, sheepishly letting the calmer boy set him back on his feet, Tweek took a moment before answering.

“I’ve been w-wanting to give this to you for a while, but -grr- I decided to wait until school got out,” Tweek explained, dancing over the war zone that was his floor as he headed for his dresser. Dragging the badly wrapped long tube from the top, Tweek continued, “I mean, I know that I missed your birthday _and_ Christmas, b-but I still wanted to get you something!”

Craig’s eyes widened as the blond shoved the tube into his hands. “Tweek-” he started, his impossibly blue eyes full of an indiscernible emotion. “Dude, you didn’t need-”

Hardly able to slow his own mind down enough to listen, Tweek burst out, “But I d-didn’t have enough money to buy anything! And my parents are convinced that I have a job r-right now, and I still haven’t managed to get them to remember I’m n-not old enough to have one, and they probably will just forget anyway- JESUS THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT!!” Tugging on his hair and shaking his head emphatically, Tweek held his breath for a moment before saying, “I didn’t have any money s-so I made you something instead. I know it’s not as cool as the shirt you got me, b-but I hope you like it anyway.” Finally slapping a hand over his own mouth to shut himself up, Tweek fell silent.

The Noirette just continued to stand there, his eyes softening. “Thank you,” he said sincerely, his normally emotionless voice changing ever so slightly. If you didn’t know him, you would never have noticed it, but Tweek knew Craig like the back of his hand, and he knew what that slight change of pitch meant.

Flushing slightly, Tweek twitched and stammered, “Ngh- Christ you h-haven’t even _opened_ it! Don’t th-thank me!! What if you hate it?!”

Keeping his eyes locked on Tweek’s face, Craig opened his mouth as if to speak, before closing it quickly and tugging his chullo down over his forehead. Just as Tweek was about to insist he open the package once more, Craig carefully began to tear the wrapping paper, starting at one end and gradually working his way through the impressive amounts of tape the blond had used on the gift. Pulling it apart, bit by bit, Craig’s breath did something funny as he finally pulled the poster out and unrolled it.

It was a painting of space, or at least, it was as good an interpretation of space as Tweek could do. He’d spent hours looking at Craig’s books and memorizing as many patterns as possible so he could do an accurate drawing of the stars. The main focus of the poster however was the image of Stripe that Tweek had painstakingly attempted to copy from the picture of the guinea pig that Craig had given him. He’d put the little creature in a space suit, and below it’s little paws, he’d traced out the words _I don’t believe in humans._ The whole thing had taken Tweek hours, and even though he sort of hated it, he’d decided that it was as good as he could make it.

“Tweek-” Craig began, his voice all weird like he couldn’t breathe as he continued to stare at the poster.

“I know it’s n-not very good!” Tweek instantly said, wringing his hands and staring at his feet. _Oh jesus, he doesn’t like it, does he?? Why did I make it, I should have just bought him something. Why did I do that??_ “I don’t know space like you do, a-and I can’t draw very well and jesus, it doesn’t even look like stripe, b-but I just- I really-” Shivering harder, Tweek suddenly shrieked, “OH GOD JUST GET RID OF IT I’M SORRY!!!”

There was a rustling as Craig swiftly set aside the poster before stepping forward and crushing Tweek in a hug that squeezed the breath from the panicking blond’s lungs. For a moment, Tweek just twitched in Craig’s arms, then he tentatively reached his hands around and hugged the Noirette back, sinking into the sensation of warmth and security that he so dearly treasured.

“I’m not going to throw it away,” the taller boy said fiercely in that deep voice of his. “I love it Tweek, it’s perfect.”

Softly, feeling his heart grow in his chest, Tweek shivered amd mumbled, “Okay,” before closing his eyes tightly and just clinging to Craig, thankful that the boy existed.

Moving back a little, just enough so he could run his hands through Tweek’s hair as he was given to do, Craig said, “You know… This year wasn’t just normal.”

Eyes widening slightly, Tweek jerked his head up at those words, staring into Craig’s deep eyes and getting lost in their depths. As he formulated his next words, Craig kept dragging his hands through Tweek’s fluffy hair, the feeling sending shivers through the blond. After a moment, the Noirette continued, “I know I said it was before, but it’s more like… the opposite of normal. This year has been like nothing else.”

“Is th-that a good thing?” Tweek asked in a small voice.

Craig didn’t have to think about that one apparently. Instead, he just leaned forward and bumped his forehead against Tweek’s gently before saying, “Ye _p.”_

And Tweek knew that he meant it, and he knew that because Craig meant it, things were going to keep getting better. When he’d been younger, it had been hard to think past the present, but at this moment, the blond realized that he was hopeful for the future, and that was something he hadn’t been _ever._

“I’m glad you’re here, Craig,” Tweek said, his trembling almost entirely stilling in those seconds.

“I’m glad too.”

Summer, Tweek thought, was going to be the best, because Craig would be there with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was talking to Sin, and he was telling me the various times that he's almost died in the bath tub. Though I won't go into specifics, I must say, he's almost perished in some pretty interesting ways... But that got me thinking about the times that I've almost died, and now I'm curious, what ways have you guys almost died?? I wanna know!
> 
> Personally, I've got two stories. The first is my funny one. I was climbing on this solid metal railing at my school, trying to be an anime character. Not actually, but I was trying to be cool, and unfortunately, this particular day I was wearing the wrong type of shoe for it and things didn't go my way. I slipped and fell, my back slammed down across the railing, and I almost cracked my head against the pavement. In addition to that, I almost broke my spine. Thankfully, I only broke four ribs and I managed to get help before I passed out, but it was a close one.
> 
> The second is much more serious. I had an unsuccessful suicide attempt about six months ago, some time before I started this story. I sat on the roof of my house and drank a lethal amount of Hemlock. Even though it made me violently ill, somehow I woke up the next morning. It really put things into perspective for me, and even though stuff can still get bad, I'm determined to never end up in that dark place again.
> 
> But I want to hear your stories, be they humorous or serious. You don't need to share if you don't feel comfortable doing so, but I want to hear them if you're willing to share~
> 
> That's all for now. I'm going to crash. Much love to you all!! Daddy, Harm, Linn, I miss you guys. Everyone else too. Hugs!!


	107. Eagle's Peak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Incoming transmission]]
> 
> Sirius is the brightest star in the night sky, and it looks like it's pulsing because it's part of a binary star system. 
> 
> (aka I was going to write something witty for you Que, but all I have are space facts)  
> ~Cori (voice of Craig)
> 
> [[Now back to your regularly scheduled programming]]

“I swear to god Clyde,” Craig muttered, flipping his best friend off as the boy cackled madly, his eyes alight with that juvenile glee that only a ten year old could manage. “If you make _one more stick joke_ I’m going to lock you and Jimmy in a four by four room until one of you either dies, or gets eaten.”

“OH MY GOD DON’T DO THAT -RRR- CANNIBALISM IS NO LAUGHING MATTER JESUS!!!”

“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m related to you.”

“Can we not kill my boyfriend maybe, please?”

“Bee, Clyde doesn’t deserve someone as wonderful as you~”

“Hey! Not true, I’m the perfect-”

“Heids is right Baby, ditch his ass.”

“NO!”

“Clyde, if you keep yelling like that, you’re not going to help your case.”

Craig rolled his eyes at the mixed bag of reactions and just ruffled Tweek’s hair, calming down the shivering blond as the rest of the hiking party went back to chatting amiably, thankfully without any bad puns involved. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do that to him,” Craig reassured Tweek, calming the boy down. “Besides, you know that Clyde would break down and cry before he actually ate anyone.”

“I don’t know if you could fit them in that small a space anyway,” Tweek mumbled, his eyes trained on the ground. “You’d probably have to break a few funny bones first.” Staring down at the blond for a second in surprise, Craig snorted bemusedly and pulled Tweek into a quick, one-armed side hug before letting go of him so he could grab a helpful tree to aid him in climbing over one particularly large outcrop of boulders. Turning to help Tweek only to find the agile boy was already ahead of him, Craig rolled his eyes and hurried to catch up with his blond.

“Okay, woah, no breaking bones,” Annie chided, though she said it like it was routine to have to keep body parts from being subjected to destruction. “It’s not his fault that his sense of humor is young, all guys are easily amused.”

Tweek let out a screech of protest and Clyde whined in complaint, but Craig looked her dead in the eye and said, “Remember that next time a guy says you’re funny.”

“Craig, don’t be an asshole,” Token chided the boy softly, looking up from his field guide on Eagle’s Peak so he could give the Noirette a skeptical look. Staring right back, Craig checked to make sure Bebe’s parents weren't looking before flipping Token off. All his actions earned him was an eyeroll.

To be fair, he really was trying to keep his act together. For Bebe’s and Clyde’s sake if nothing else. They were all currently on the hiking trip that Bebe and her family had been planning for a week, so they all had to at least pretend to be civil. This was easier said than done of course, considering the fact that Bebe had invited Wendy, Heidi, Red, and Annie as well as the four boys and they didn’t all exactly talk on a usual basis. So far, Craig supposed that it wasn’t that bad, _yet,_ though they'd hardly even started climbing and the girls had mostly ignored them up until that point. Perhaps when they got further up the mountain, it would start getting a little less pleasant.

Due to Mr. Stevens’ ideas about preparation, everyone was carrying a backpack with food, water, and a blanket, plus other bits of things that they apparently needed. Tweek of course had added an additional metric fuck ton of things that Craig was pretty sure he wouldn’t need, but at least the boy wasn’t freaking out about everything. If it made the blond feel better, Craig supposed the added weight was worth it, though he was still inclined towards skepticism.

“So how long are we going to be climbing Mrs. Stevens?” Wendy asked from the head of the pack, one arm linked with Bebe and the other keeping a hold of the camera slung around her neck. Looking through the dense tree cover, Craig decided that whatever the answer was, it would be long enough.

Answering for his wife, Bebe’s dad said, “Should be a full day of hiking, but we’ll be breaking for lunch about halfway up. It’ll be worth it in the end, trust me. I used to climb these mountains all the time when I was a child.” Bebe’s mom tittered and half sang a few words, something about cargo shorts, causing Bebe to turn towards the rest of them so she could pull a face, which made Clyde laugh and Heidi snort. Craig’s attention drifted, and on instinct he caught Tweek’s hand, even though the terrain was such that holding hands was a little impractical.

“So what plans do you guys have for the rest of the summer?” Heidi asked, as all of them maneuvered over a creek that was splashing down the mountain through its rocky cradle. “I mean-” She forwent hopping from stone to stone like the rest of the girls for simply leaping over the entire creek in one inelegant jump. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m entirely redoing my room this next month, so I’m going to have my hands full.”

“My parents and I are going to Italy,” Token said casually as he navigated the fallen tree that neatly spanned the creek.

“Oh my god, jealous,” Annie called, giggling. “I think we’re visiting my grandparents in Wyoming, as usual.” Dropping Tweek’s hand so he could jump over the creek, Craig watched as the blond scampered up the fallen tree that Token had used so he could dart across it.

“Henrietta and I are heading to a ghost town in Idaho Springs next week,” Red threw in, stopping so she could adjust the tight braid she’d done her hair in. Walking over to where Tweek was struggling to get down from the log, Craig reached his hands out and was unsurprised when the blond all but launched himself at the taller boy. Catching him, Craig stumbled back a step, but didn’t fall. “Apparently she thinks it’ll be a great chance to reflect on the fleeting purpose of humans on earth and the inevitable degradation of… er- Something or other.” Red shook her head. “I’m sure it makes sense to Etta.”

As he set Tweek down and started after the others once more, Craig spared a few brain cells for what Red had said. The idea of his cousin hanging out with one of the Goth kids was a reality that was slowly growing on Craig, much like a malignant tumor. Honestly he didn’t care one way or another, but it did make him want to roll his eyes, because all of those eyeliner-caked suicide risks were a little ridiculous just on principle.

While the other girls started whispering to each other, Craig turned towards Tweek and twitched and eyebrow up before miming a cigarette and mouthing _Ugh, they’re all such posers._ His actions earned him a squeaky laugh, which to Craig was everything. That warm bubble in his chest only grew when Tweek attempted to yank his hair down over one eye then pull a surly, deliberately dead look. Snorting, Craig ruffled the blond’s soft, very much un-goth-like hair, and informed him, “If you dye your hair black, you’ll look like a porcupine dude, not a Goth.”

“I c-can be dead inside if I want to be!!” Tweek insisted, though he was grinning and wriggling in place of his usual neurotic twitch.

“Come on Teacup, you have to be all jaded and stuff to be a Goth,” Clyde called, throwing back his shoulders as he laughed. “You know who would make a good Goth? Craig would make a good goth.” Unimpressed with his friend, Craig broke off a small branch and closed one eyes so he could aim at the back of Clyde’s skull. “He already thinks the world hates him, and he wouldn’t even have to die his ha- OW!!” Rubbing the back of his head, Clyde whipped around so he could give Craig a wounded expression.

Wendy gave a delicate sound. “I have no idea what you see in him Honey.”

Bebe pulled a pout and crossed her arms. “Come on Wends, don’t be so mean to him. Just because you and Stan are fighting right now doesn’t mean you have to take it out on the rest of us.”

“They’re always fighting,” Heidi commented to Token, irritably working her way over a difficult cleft of rocks before patiently helping Annie up. “It’s so stupid. I think they should just break up already, but _apparently_ I don’t get to have a say because I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

“Though I’m hardly a psychologist,” Token began, a characteristically thoughtful look on his face. “Wendy is trying to control Stan while simultaneously expecting him to do everything right himself. Their relationship just _can’t_ work.”

“You see, why can’t they just be like Tweek and Craig?” Annie asked, throwing her hands in the air as if in surrender. “I mean, at least they try to talk out their problems and they _obviously_ care about each other, whereas-”

Tweek let out a shriek that was accompanied by Craig’s glare and middle finger. “JESUS W-WE’RE NOTHING LIKE STAN AND WENDY!!!” the blond screamed, pulling at his hair with his free hand. Craig meanwhile just wondered, _Why the fuck are they comparing us to Stan and Wendy, they’re_ dating, _Tweek and I are friends!_

“Look it was an example don’t take it personally,” Annie dismissed, waving her hand as if their protests were ridiculous. “But you’re absolutely right Token, I think that she’d be much happier if she just _admitted_ that she wants to wear the pants of the relationship, because Wendy will never be happy in a traditional gender role.”

Blowing out a disgruntled breath, Craig rolled his shoulders and chose to ignore them. Girls were weird. Even after dating Bebe for a month, maybe especially after dating her for a month, he was still absolutely convinced of this. Sticking behind the group with Tweek, not particularly caring to get involved in that particular conversation, the Noirette easily let the matter slip from his mind entirely.

Maybe years later, he’d look back and say that he should have paid more attention to that moment, but at that time, he simply didn’t.

“So do you have any plans this summer?” Craig asked Tweek as the conversation the others were having moved on once again.

“Rrr- Not really,” Tweek said, his eyes darting around as he talked. “I mean, you know that m-my parents will probably make me work in the back room and stuff, but other than that we never really do anything.” Frowning slightly at Tweek’s words, having never liked the way his parents treated him a bit like a slave at times, Craig shrugged if off. Tweek’s parents might have been crazy, but considering his own parents, he didn’t really have room to talk.

“You can hang out with Clyde, Token and I,” Craig told the blond easily, watching as he clambered up yet another steep rocky incline. Following him at a much more sedated and measured pace, Craig grabbed for cool, worn stone as he heaved himself up after Tweek. “Then you won’t have to work as much.”

Shivering as he waited for the Noirette to reach him, Tweek fussed with his hands before bursting out, “Jesus, th-that won’t work!! When it comes to the shop, they _always_ know when I’m -grr- free.” Pausing where he was crouched at Tweek’s feet, Craig looked up and studied the boy. The little nicks on his hands that Craig knew he got from the work at the coffee shop, and the defeated slump of his shoulders that conveyed just how tired he was of the whole thing. _Fucking assholes, putting a kid through that shit._

Needing to quell that sudden flare of bitter resentment that had welled up in his chest, Craig rose to his feet and reached out a hand, ruffling Tweek’s hair gently. Under his touch, the boy at first dipped his head before leaning into the Noirette’s hand, his twitching slowly slightly. As always when he played with Tweek’s hair, Craig’s own internal balance returned to its normal apathetic state and he was able to breathe normally again.

“I’ve already told you, I’ll work with you then,” Craig reminded him, letting his hand drop so he could continue walking after the rest of the hiking party, which hadn’t slowed. “It’ll get done faster that way.” He had told the blond to ask his parents, but he doubted Tweek had, just based on the frightened sounds coming from him. It wasn’t that he’d _enjoy_ working in that confined, almost miserable place, but if he was with Tweek, then it wouldn’t really matter. _It’s not really work if Tweek’s around, he’d make almost anything alright._ Unfortunately, Tweek didn’t seem to think about it the same way.

“Oh god, you know y-you don’t have to man!!” he yelped loudly, leaping back from Craig and shaking his head ferociously. When the Noirette opened his mouth to contradict the boy, Tweek gave him a wild look and tugged on his hair, even as he insisted, “It’s my crazy f-family!! Y-you shouldn’t have to help! Why would you even -ghn- _want_ to?”

Something about Tweek’s words made Craig’s insides twist in a way he hadn’t expected. It wasn’t because Tweek didn’t believe that the Noirette would want to help, rather it was the way he’d said it. Unable to fully articulate why it had hit him like it had, Craig just squashed all of the emotions that he didn’t feel like thinking about and let out a soft breath.

“Because dude, you’re my friend.” Deciding that this was answer enough, Craig resumed walking once more, and was rewarded by Tweek’s hand slipping into his. Satisfied with this, the taller boy fell into the comfortable silence of Tweek’s little involuntary sounds and the forest around them. It was a good feeling, that warmth that lingered around every interaction he had with the blond. Ever since that fantasy game they’d played had ended, Craig’s entire world had brightened once again, and even everyday interactions like this left him with a bubbling contentment in his chest.

He might have worried about what that meant, but it was Tweek, so Craig knew it would be alright. _I guess I’ve never had someone who I care about this much, and who cares about me too._ It was a really good feeling, admittedly, and not one that he was used to. Sure, he was pretty sure his friends cared, and Ruby probably didn’t hate him, but his parents didn’t give two shits, and no one else did either. That had been fine, he’d survived perfectly well alone. At least this way, he didn’t have to reach out to someone only to be hurt. He didn’t have to think about how he acted or what he said, he didn’t have to worry about people in general.

Except Tweek was different, he’d clung tightly to Craig and hadn’t let go, even when the Noirette was an asshole, even when he made mistakes. Before this, Craig hadn’t ever felt the necessity to _care_ but Tweek had changed that overnight almost, appeared and hadn’t left, no matter how bad things got. When Craig broke down, Tweek picked him back up and never treated him differently for it. In return, Craig didn’t mind being the person that the boy leaned on when his own demons got to be too much.

Hell, he was glad that Tweek came to him. _So what does that make me?_ Well, nothing good he was pretty sure, but he cared about Tweek. Unlike anyone else in his life, he really honestly _cared._ And as Tweek twitchily tightened his fingers around Craig’s hand, the Noirette felt that ballooning joy in his heart get that much bigger. Even though it didn’t show on his face, internally, Craig couldn’t have been more happy. _I don’t think I deserve something this good, but I’m a selfish bastard, and I’m not about to let it go._

Then again, most people didn’t really deserve something this good, and Craig was perfectly happy to keep Tweek close to him for as long as the boy would let him.

So lost in thought was he, that Craig hardly even noticed Mr. Stevens calling ahead of them, “I think this is a good place to stop for lunch! Let’s break and take some time to enjoy the great outdoors, yes?” Pulled out of his own mind but Tweek’s insistant tugging of his hand, Craig glanced down at the blond, processed the words that had been said, then reached out and ruffled the boy’s hair. Snorting, he pulled several twigs out of Tweek’s golden mane, and tossed them away without saying anything. _He’d just worry about there being something on them._

“Oh man, I feel like I’ve been climbing for _forever,”_ Clyde exclaimed, flopping down on the ground so he could lean against the large rock that Bebe had taken root on. Head falling against his girlfriend’s legs before he jerked it back and shot a quick look over at her parents, the brunet glanced over at Craig and Tweek, before asking, “How long has it even been? It feels like it’s been a year or something.”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Token informed the boy, taking the time to spread out the blanket that Mr. Stevens had included in all of their packs over his chosen stump before sitting down. “We’ve only been climbing since nine this morning.”

“To be fair, my dad did choose the long trail,” Bebe admitted, laughing lightly. “It’s a long way up.”

“I’m sorry your boyfriend is such a wimp,” Wendy told Bebe, patting her on the arm. Rolling her eyes at the girl’s comment, Bebe turned and smiled brightly at Craig before focusing on Tweek.

“How are you doing Tweek? Having fun?” Jumping at Bebe’s words slightly, the blond boy only spent a second glancing up at Craig before focusing on the smiling girl before him.

“It’s been pretty okay,” Tweek said very quickly, shivering slightly. Managing a tentative smile to answer Bebe’s, the boy continued, “Actually, it’s -rrr- really fun. I’ve never been so far out of South Park, and jesus, it’s not even that far!! But it’s really pretty and stuff.” Shuffling his feet, Tweek fell silent. Using this opportunity to his advantage, Craig pulled the blond over to where Token was sitting and nudged Tweek down onto the fallen log that was beside his black friend.

“I can’t believe we managed to convince you to leave your guinea pig behind for this long,” Red commented, helping Annie spread her blanket at Wendy’s feet so she could uncaringly tossing her pack off of her shoulders and flop to the ground. “I wasn’t sure if you’d start having seizures or not.”

Flipping off his sarcastic cousin, Craig shortly said, “Leave Stripe alone.” Clyde laughed at that, but Tweek let out a distressed sound.

“Jesus, it w-wasn’t like we could take him, w-what if he got lost??” Tweek insisted, shivering. “Besides, what could happen to him while we’re away?” Suddenly, he jerked violently and screeched, “Oh god, what if he dies while we’re gone?? What if he gets hurt? Do guinea pigs g-get hurt?!”

“It’s going to be fine, Ruby is taking care of Stripe,” Craig informed Tweek calmly, before carefully extricating the panicking blond from his overly large bag. Once he’d freed him of it, Craig pulled off his own bag. Shifting closer so he could wrap his arm around Tweek’s shoulder, a position that had changed slightly since the blond grew a little, Craig caught his gaze and held it, staring into those sparking green eyes until the boy stopped shaking quite so hard. Softly, he evenly reminded Tweek, “Stripe was fine when we left dude, he’s not going to suddenly drop dead.”

“Well, with his two dads looking out for him, he’ll be lucky if he doesn’t get smothered to death with love,”  Heidi quipped, nudging Wendy aside so she could sit next to Bebe. As the three girls attempted to navigate the rock, which really was only built for two, Bebe started to go over backwards off the other side of the rock. Letting out a yelp, Clyde awkwardly shot up and caught the falling girl in his arms, ending with them both landing in a heap on the leaf strewn ground.

“Careful~” Bebe’s mother called, though she hardly seemed to mind that her daughter was sprawled out on top of her boyfriend. Bebe’s dad however seemed irritated, and the moment Clyde caught sight of that, he was scrambling up and helping set the girl on her feet.

“Oh my god Bebe, you’re such a clutz,” Annie giggled, before whipping out her phone and snapping a picture of Clyde and Bebe before the girl could quite get her wherewithal together.

“Come on, not fair!” Bebe protested, turning pink as Annie fell into a fit of soft laughter.

“That’s adorable,” Red informed Annie, snorting.

“I guess they’re cute,” Wendy muttered, a grudging smile appearing on her face.

“I still can’t believe you managed to fall off the rock,” Heidi said, sliding down off of her perch so she could make sure that her friend was alright.

Blandly, without even looking up, Token said, “I guess you could say she really fell for him.”

Loudly, Heidi cackled, followed by Clyde staring at Token in shock and Bebe softly chiding, “Close your mouth Babe, you’re going to let the flies in.” With a strangled sound, Clyde closed his mouth and leaned his head against Bebe’s shoulder so he could sort of make several whimpering sounds.

Craig, for his part, just rolled his eyes as Tweek gave a high-pitched laugh. That managed to provoke a smile from Craig, who addored those small squeaky sounds of mirth that seemed to come from Tweek without the boy’s permission or control. His whole family snorted when they laughed but Tweek just giggled, and Craig smiled because it meant that the boy was happy.

As the conversation moved on, Craig turned around and started digging through Tweek’s bag for the coffee thermos that he was sure the boy had packed. Just as he’d suspected, there were two full thermoses of coffee at the top of the bag. Freeing one and passing it to Tweek, Craig dug around a little more out of curiosity before finally giving up and closing the back. The blond had packed enough to survive the apocalypse by his reckoning, but had he expected anything less?

His thoughts were interrupted as Clyde slid onto the log next to him with Bebe, who was still laughing and playfully arguing with her friends. “Man, I haven’t been outside this much since the game ended,” Clyde commented, grinning when Bebe patiently passed him a sandwich from her own bag before taking out one of her own.

“Oh my god, don’t even bring that thing up,” Annie complained, rolling her eyes. “I never want to have to think about that disaster again. Do you have any idea how long it took me to get zombie goo out of my clothes?”

“Do you have any idea how long it took me to get it out of my hair?” Heidi countered, rolling her eyes. “It really wasn’t that bad, I mean, Cartman’s idea was pretty good, it just didn’t end well.”

“Honey, nothing Cartman creates is good,” Wendy chided, carefully eating her sandwich without dropping so much as crumb.

“As much as you want that to be true, you’re not being entirely fair,” Token commented, fixing Wendy with a knowing look. Despite his long friendship with the boy, Craig would never be able to quite decipher the looks the black boy tended to give people nor, he suspected, did he want to. “The fact that they managed to create such a complex game that worked was pretty impressive.”

“It was s-so dangerous though!!” Tweek squeaked, his eyes wide. “There were aliens and zombies and jesus, that’s so much pressure!”

Nudging the boy in the side, Craig calmly reminded him, “You handled them fine dude.” As Tweek’s jittering slowed, Craig took the time to grab one of his own sandwiches and started eating. This was fine, he decided as everyone kept talking about the game and Tweek just leaned against him and drank his coffee. Honestly, this is what summer should have been, he was convinced of it. Tweek and the rest of his friends, just having fun. Just hanging out.

At some point, Tweek ended up getting caught in a discussion with Token, Annie and Wendy and Craig found himself almost drifting off, resting his head against the blond’s and letting his mind go. The remainder of his sandwich had been tucked back into his pack, and his hat had been pulled down to keep the sun from his eyes. Around him, the others were messing around. Bebe had ended up on Clyde’s shoulders at some point, and Red and Heidi were chasing them. Shrugging it off as their usual stupidity, Craig just allowed his eyes to slide closed as the warm air lulled him to sleep.

The next thing he knew he was being nudged awake by Tweek. Though he couldn’t tell how much time had passed, no one had gotten ready to leave. Heidi and Red were both sitting on the log opposite now, allowing Annie to braid their hair, and Token was reading. Glancing down at Tweek, Craig raised an eyebrow.

“What’s up?” he asked, straightening and stretching with small, controlled movements. Twisting his neck around, Craig flatly asked, “Where are Clyde and Bebe?”

“Oh, they were still over there somewhere,” Red said dismissively, jerking her thumb to the side. Catching Tweek’s soft involuntary squeak, the Noirette bumped up against him, drawing some of the natural tension out of the boy’s body.

“Wanna go look for them?” he asked Tweek softly, looking off into the admittedly tangled tree cover as if he might see a flash of golden hair or Clyde’s bright blue and red jacket.

“Ngh- are y-you sure?” Tweek asked dubiously, shivering. “W-what if we get lost?”

“We can take our packs,” Craig reassured the boy flatly, ruffling his hair absently. “It’s not like we’ll go far. But someone’s got to find those idiots.” He didn’t completely trust Clyde’s sense of direction, and even though he didn’t exactly have a stellar internal compass either, he knew it was better than his friend’s. Probably.

“You two will be fine!” Bebe’s mother called, waving one manicured hand in their direction. “It’s not like this mountain is that big.”

“It’s big enough that it could take us days to find you if you were to get lost,” Token told the two of them, his nose still buried in his book.

Tweek’s hands flew to his hair. “OH GOD NO!!!”

“But if you walk up, you’ll get to the top, and if you walk down, you’ll get to the bottom.” Closing his book so he could look up at them, Token said, “It’s hard to get particularly lost on a mountain unless you’re stubborn.”

“We won’t get lost,” Craig said firmly, still running a hand through the blond’s hair in an attempt to ameliorate the panic Token’s words were causing him. “They couldn’t have gone that far.”

“Okay,” Tweek mumbled, pressing himself against Craig’s side for a moment before jerking upright and scrambling to reassemble his pack. Following suit, Craig zipped up his significantly smaller bag and slung it over his shoulder. Tired of watching Tweek struggle to do the same, the Noirette stepped forward and helped the boy get the overweight bag onto his own back.

“That thing is going to crush you dude,” Craig told him, his eyebrows climbing upwards.

“B-but I need it!” Tweek insisted, clutching the straps. “You don’t know what’s going to happen, anything could happen! You have to be prepared for _everything.”_ Staring down into those wide, earnest eyes, Craig let out a breath and ruffled Tweek’s hair.

“Well, if something happens, you’ll be able to help,” Craig said evenly. Instantly, Tweek’s eyes lit up and the Noirette sucked in his cheeks as that brilliant green almost blinded him. Huffing, the boy put his chin down to hide the weird warmth that chose to creep over his cheeks at that moment, pulling his lips into a smile without his permission. _How the hell does he do that to me?_ Well, it was Tweek, so what couldn’t the blond do to him?

“Have fun you two!” Annie called, waving her hand at them as they started in the direction that Bebe and Clyde had disappeared to. “Look out for bears.”

“Shut up, there aren’t any bears!” Heidi scolded.

“There are manbearpigs though,” Token reminded them, already back to his book.

“I thought they killed those!” Red protested.

“Well, what I heard was-” Rolling his eyes, Craig found Tweek’s hand and pulled the blond into the trees, his eyes peeled for the familiar colors of his friends’ clothing. As the sounds of the others faded into the background at an almost alarming rate, Craig quickly found his perspective broadening as he listened for anything that might hint at Clyde or Bebe. He hadn’t been particularly serious about looking for them, it had more just been an excuse to stretch his legs and take Tweek with him, but he figured that since they were out there, they might as well look.

“W-what if something happened to them?” Tweek asked, his free hand bouncing spasmodically. Perhaps if Craig hadn’t known the blond so well, he would have been annoyed by how quickly the boy lost faith in his circumstances, but he knew Tweek. It wasn’t his fault that he was always nervous, it was just his nature, something in his brain. Over the past year, he’d learned how to work around it, and he felt like they were both better for it.

So he just squeezed Tweek’s fingers and said, “Then we’ll fix whatever shit broke.” Maybe not the best answer, but it seemed to calm Tweek down. Looking around, Craig found himself asking, “So what did your parents think about letting me work with you at the coffee shop?”

Twitching hard, Tweek admitted, “Jesus, I n-never even asked them.” Biting his nails, the boy continued, “They would probably forget man, and ack! I don’t want to have to go through that m-more than once! What if they realize you’re too young? What if they think I’m weird for hanging out with you then?? What if they lock me in my room and I never get to see you again?! I couldn’t handle that!!!”

Craig bumped up against the blond. “They wouldn’t do that.” Taking deep breaths, almost like by doing so he could make up for the fact that Tweek’s were always rushed and short, the Noirette continued, “At worst, they’ll realize that you’re not old enough to work, and then you won’t have to help out there as much.”

“If I don’t help, m-my dad will sell me as a slave,” Tweek confided, his eyes staring at the ground. _Fuck…_ Craig wasn’t even sure how he was supposed to respond to that, so he didn’t. He just reached over and gently patted the boy’s head. Even though he wasn’t shaking or twitching terribly, Craig knew that it would calm him down, and so he just went with it.

“I wouldn’t let them do that,” Craig assured the blond. “I could hide you in my bed, and they’d never even think to look for you there.” Lifting his hand as Tweek’s head snapped upwards, Craig found himself caught in those wide, hopeful eyes that just held too much emotion to understand and he couldn’t pull himself away. All he could do was blink back, as calmly as ever, even though his insides were doing weird things.

“Are you sure th-they wouldn’t be able to find me?” Tweek asked nervously, his bottom lip trembling slightly. “B-because my dad told me that even if I hid, he’d always -ghn- be able to find me and he wouldn’t let me escape! I don’t want to get locked in the basement!” _How long has he had to live with that fear? Fuck, I hate that he’s had to go through things like that._

Pausing abruptly, halfway up an outcropping of rocks, Craig turned so he could pull Tweek against him in an awkward hug that sort of smushed the blond’s face against the Noirette’s chest. “I wouldn’t let them find you,” he told the boy, his words slow and methodical. “And if they did, I’d come and let you out of the basement. And if they sold you, I’d find you and I’d bring you back.”

Even though he didn’t answer verbally, Tweek reached up and snaked his shaking arms around Craig’s torso so he could cling to the boy tightly. Satisfied with this, the taller boy just took that moment to rub the back of Tweek’s head and try to tell him without words that he would never let him go. Because if there was one thing that Craig had realized over this year, it was that the one thing he’d actually really miss if he lost was Tweek, and the blond was the one person that he couldn’t replace.

Tweek’s monsters could just try and fucking take the blond, Craig would be ready for them.

Abruptly, Tweek let out a giggle. “I thought we were s-supposed to be looking for Bebe and Clyde.” Pulling back, Craig raised an eyebrow at the blond’s words, but snorted and finally let him go anyway.

“Probably,” he admitted, looking around and letting out a breath. “They’re probably close by. Come on.” Starting back up the rocks, Craig kept walking, Tweek hurrying after him.

Despite how easy he’d initially assumed finding his friends would be, Craig quickly started to realize that it _wasn’t_ as simple as he’d originally thought. All the trees kind of looked the same, and even when he and Tweek called for them, their voices were frustratingly muffled. It didn’t really worry him, but he could tell that it was taking a toll on the blond, who was getting progressively more and more jumpy by the moment.

When Tweek said, “M-maybe we missed them!” for the third time in as many minutes, Craig finally decided that it was a lost cause finding his friends. _Shit, at this rate they’re probably already back at the campsite._ Well, at least he’d gotten to spend time with Tweek, so it wasn’t like this was a total failure.

Blowing out a breath, Craig muttered, “Yeah, I guess.” Turning around, the Noirette shrugged his shoulders and said, “I guess we should just head back. They’re probably waiting for us.”

“Okay,” Tweek agreed at once, latching onto the sleeve of Craig’s hoodie just like he used to do. It made the boy smile, even though he knew it meant the blond was on edge. Though he was careful not to let it show, Craig was perturbed as well. The forest had him turned around, and despite Token’s comments that the fact it was a mountain should make it easier, Craig was starting to feel a little lost. Nevertheless, he pressed on, plodding back towards the rest of their party.

Maybe it was his imagination, but he felt like it was getting darker.

“What do you want to do when we get to the top?” Craig asked, half to distract himself, half to distract Tweek.

“Not fall off, jesus!” Tweek exclaimed, shaking his head. “Rrr- I mean, I’m not scared of heights but you never know man! What if something happens and someone knocks into someone else and th-they just fall off? What then?!”

“I think they’d just sort of roll down,” Craig mused, wondering if there was a cliff at the top or just another slope. “They’d live.”

“Oh god, I hope so,” Tweek said fervently. Tugging on the Noirette’s sleeve, Tweek asked, “S-so what would _you_ do?”

Silently, Craig wondered what it would be like to stand at the very edge and hold his hands out. Maybe he could sail away into the sky, become part of the stars. Or maybe he’d just crash back down to earth. He wasn’t sure, and he didn’t have the courage to find out, not really. Besides, the thought vanished as fast as it had come. “I think I’d want to wait until it got dark, then I’d stare at the stars,” Craig admitted, a slight smile pulling at his lips. “I could stare at them with you.”

“That would be pretty cool,” Tweek agreed, shivering. “I like looking at the stars w-with you.” Those words, however simple, turned Craig’s insides to mush. No one else that he’d shown the beauty of the night sky to had ever really… cared. Token and Clyde had just gotten bored, and his sister had told him he was stupid, but Tweek somehow got it. He didn’t have the same obsession, but he still understood why Craig loved it, and he was willing to love it too.

Just another reason why the blond was perfect.

Slowly, the words sort of coming to him as he said them, Craig started, “You know… The stars have always been bright, but when I look at them with you… I don’t know, I think they’re brighter, somehow.” Realizing how stupid he sounded, Craig tugged the brim of his chullo down over his forehead, and mumbled, “Nevermind I sound like a fucking idiot.”

“No, I get it!” Tweek blurted out, his hand catching Craig’s wrist. “I mean -ngh- not with the stars, b-but with everything else, when you’re around, the shadows aren’t as dark.”

Staring at the blond for a long moment, Craig finally said, “If they ever feel dark, you can just come to me, and I’ll make them go away.”

Grinning, twitching slightly, Tweek squeaked, “W-well if I’m with you, your stars can make all the shadows go away, and then we w-won’t have to worry about them at all.”

As his breath was stolen by the boy’s words, Craig found himself unable to say anything except for, “Okay.” Struggling to process the emotions flying through him, the boy finally just pushed them out of his mind and just kept walking, pulling Tweek after him.

Even though he hadn’t thought they’d gone very far when they were looking for Clyde and Bebe, Craig started to feel like they’d been wandering for a long time without finding their friends. And yeah, the sky was definitely getting darker, even if it wasn’t much. It made him feel uncomfortable, realizing that he had no idea where they were and he was going on blind faith that they were actually headed towards the campgrounds at all. If they weren’t then he would have no way of knowing.

As if picking up on his uncertainty, Tweek twitched and asked, “D-do you know where we are?”

Clenching his jaw, Craig pulled his chullo down and muttered, “Yeah.” _Don’t freak Tweek out, then things will be even harder._

“B-because I don’t recognize any of this.” Shivering beside Craig, the blond insisted, “Craig, I d-don’t think we’re going in the right direction.”

“Of course we are,” Craig countered, shaking his head as if the idea that they weren’t was ridiculous.

“Jesus, I th-think we’re lost,” Tweek whimpered, tugging instantly at Craig’s hand.

“We aren’t lost,” Craig pushed back, more irritated with himself than anything else. Trying to keep his voice as free of frustration as possible, Craig evenly said, “We’re headed right back to where we started.” The words had hardly left his mouth when the ground started to vanish out from under his feet and Tweek yanked him back, keeping the Noirette from tumbling into the creek that was rushing down the side of the mountain. Blinking at it, Craig’s first thought was, _Where did the creek come from?_

“Craig…” Tweek’s voice was shaking. “W-we never crossed over a river before.”

“Well,” Craig mumbled, turning around in a slow circle as he looked at the absolutely foreign patch of trees they were mired in. “I think we might be lost.”

_Shit…_


	108. A Bit Nippy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO I AM ALIVE ARE YOU SURPRISED YET?
> 
> I AM. I AM VERY STARTLED.
> 
> Enjoy.

When Tweek had been six, his parents had taken him to a coffee convention somewhere near South Park. It hadn’t been particularly big, or even especially interesting, but it stuck out in his young mind nonetheless. After getting to the hall in which they were holding the convention, Tweek’s parents had almost instantly vanished, leaving him to watch over their stall. And usually Tweek would have stayed, but eventually he’d started to get really hungry, and even though it was a coffee convention, there was a surprising lack of coffee that he was actually allowed to drink.

So he’d wandered off, despite being absolutely terrified of doing so, because it was either move or starve, and the idea of starving was just horrifying enough that he figured the alternative was better. Except as a small, nervous, child who screamed every time someone almost stepped on him, Tweek hadn’t exactly had any advantages over his surroundings. It had taken minutes for him to get horribly lost.

Maybe if his parents had cared a little more and the call over the PA to _the parents of Tweek Tweak_ had actually produced results, things wouldn’t have gotten so bad. But after a particularly gaunt and learning security guard had almost shut him away in one of the back rooms, the boy had run off once more.

After ending up in the dark, maze like basements of the convention hall, starving, dehydrated, and almost catatonic with with fear, Tweek’s parents had finally remembered that they had a child and bothered to come find him. Then, after a dead end story from his father about cornfields, he’d been taken home and locked in the basement there so he could sort the new coffee beans that they’d purchased. It had been… pretty typical, actually.

Why was he thinking of this right now?

Well, maybe that had something to do with the fact that he was, once again, lost.

Craig ran a hand over his face. “Fuck,” he muttered, once again. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck-” It was obvious from just his tone alone that the Noirette was stressing out, however mutedly.

“Oh god,” Tweek whimpered, tugging on his hair obsessively and shivering as he stared down at the rushing creek that almost seemed to mock them with it’s cheer. “Oh god, w-we’re lost. We’re never going to see anyone ever again.” His teeth kept repeatedly sinking into his lip, gnawing it to pieces. The coppery taste of blood only made the panic worse. “We’re going to -ngh- die out here. We’re going to die and the vultures are going to eat us and no one is ever going to even care-”

Roughly, Craig suddenly seized him around the shoulders and spun him around so he could look fiercely into Tweek’s eyes. “We’re not going to die,” the Noirette growled, his eyes going dark. “We’re going to be _fine.”_ There was something so dark in the boy’s gaze, Tweek felt his already scrambled mind get worse. _Why does he sound like that? Why is he acting like this!?_

Shaking harder, the blond struggled to get away from Craig as the boy’s grip on his arms grew almost painful. “There’s n-no way out!” he yelled, his voice fluctuating as the fear clawed its way into his brain and tore it apart. “Oh god, w-we’re on a mountain, and it’s g-getting dark, and Jesus! ACK WHERE EVEN ARE WE!??”

“Stop panicking!” Craig commanded, but Tweek’s terror wouldn’t let him go. All he could think about was the fact that the world kept getting darker and shadows kept getting longer and even Craig was distorting. He couldn’t see right, his whole body was wracked with tremors. _An anxiety attack, I’m having a panic attack._ But knowing that didn’t make it go away. And the Noirette was looming over him and suddenly there just wasn’t enough air to breathe. He needed space, he needed oxygen.

“AUGH IT’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!” Tearing himself away from Craig, Tweek stumbled backward as he fought the darkness that was clouding his mind. His heavy bag, which he’d been doing a remarkable job of handling up until then, was suddenly throwing him off ballance, making him tip over. Letting out a shriek, Tweek lost his footing and pitched backwards. Except he didn’t just land on his back, no, instead he was falling, plummeting downward for what felt like an unholy length of time.

Falling down-

-Down-

_-down-_

_-CRASH!!_

And then everything was icy and cold as water closed over him. Struggling fruitlessly against the frigid tendrils of water that closed over him, denying him access to air or warmth, Tweek fought desperately to get out of the water, tried to find the surface, but he couldn’t see anything. Everything was black and cold and airless and he was suffocating. Another scream tore itself from his lungs except he didn’t have the air to do that, and suddenly his lungs were filling with liquid. It was so much worse than any horrifying hallucination he’d had before, it was painful and freezing and-

And then it didn’t matter anymore, because the darkness was closing over his vision and Tweek’s body was shutting down. Limbs simply ceasing to respond to him, Tweek’s eyes closed as even the cold stopped existing. _This is it, I’m actually dying._ It wasn’t nearly as climatic as Tweek had always thought it would be.

For some reason, even though his brain wasn’t working, all he could see was an image of Craig. He was glowing, like he had stars under his skin, like his very blood was made of galaxies and those scars on his arms were comets. Even though Tweek sort of knew it would be the last thing he ever saw, he honestly didn’t mind much. It was so much more comforting than the dark, which scared him more than anything. He’d die illuminated by Craig’s starlight, and that wasn’t really a bad way to go.

_Heh, I wish I could tell Craig._

_So then he’d know what it’s like to go to space._

Abruptly, the image vanished as his world flipped upside down. Something hard hit his back and Tweek found himself coughing violently as the water he’d inhaled was rapidly expelled from his lungs. As his senses started returning, he became aware of the chill forcing him to shiver hard enough to send him collapsing to the ground. At once however, there were arms there propping him up, holding his upper body up so he could continue to cough, pushing the rest of the water out of him.

Sucking in a desperate breath, Tweek found himself throwing up, emptying his stomach of the coffee he’d drunk earlier and the bite that Craig had given him from his sandwich. Putrid smells bringing him further out of the darkness of his mind, Tweek ended up stumbling out of the hold on him, falling backwards where he curled up, shivering hard enough to jar his brain. One benefit of this, if there really was one, seemed to be that his panic attack was over.

The downside was probably everything else.

 _I’m not dead,_ Tweek realized, then, _What happened?_

His unasked question was answered a moment later as warm arms pulled him upright and Tweek peeled his eyes open at last. Craig was suddenly there, his eyes wide and terrified, his usually calm face contorted in horror that quickly melted into relief. Then Tweek was being crushed in a hug that made him feel like he couldn’t breathe again. Except this was an okay breathlessness because _Craig_ was there and he’d saved Tweek from drowning.

“You’re alive,” the Noirette choked out, his words strangled. “Fuck, I thought you’d drowned, I thought you were dead, you’re _alive.”_ Those words, out of everything, were what made Tweek start to cry. Pathetically perhaps, his whole body still contorted with shivers, the blond let loose with a frightened, heavy sob that was followed by several others. _Oh god, I almost died. I almost drowned._ Clinging to Craig, twitching and shaking, Tweek just let the fear he’d felt manifest itself in the form of tears pouring down his face. He couldn’t think, there was no room in his brain for thought.

Vaguely, he could feel the taller boy pulling him onto his lap, stroking fingers through his wet hair and rubbing his back soothingly. Craig was murmuring things into his ear, but Tweek couldn’t understand what he was saying. As his sobs left him without breath, Tweek found himself coughing once more, hacking coughs that were interspersed with more crying. Through it all Craig never let go of him, he just kept doing everything he could to calm the blond down. All with that slow, steady voice that grounded Tweek better than anything else could have.

“I’m sorry,” Craig whispered, his words horace. “Fuck, I’m so sorry Tweek. This is my fault.” _No, it wasn’t._ Except his lungs and vocal chords were too painful at that moment to make those words known. It was all he could do to start to stifle his sobbing, trying to draw himself back together. Tears were still coursing down his cheeks, but at least now he was a little more aware of his surroundings. Noticing the fact that Craig’s jeans were soaked but his shirt wasn’t, Tweek was able to put together what had happened after he’d gone under.

 _He must have jumped in and pulled me out. I can’t believe he’d do that, I can’t believe he would just throw himself into danger without thinking about it._ Unable to voice this, Tweek just buried his face in Craig’s shoulder and shivered hard enough to almost make his body hurt. Around them, the forest kept getting darker, but all he could focus on was Craig. That’s all he wanted to focus on, honestly. Because Craig was the reason he was still alive, and Craig wouldn’t let him die, no matter what.

“It’s going to be okay,” the Noirette promised, even though his voice was shaking. “I promise, you’re going to be okay.”

Slowly, eventually, Tweek ran out of tears. As his mind started to calm down, he became increasingly aware of how _cold_ he was. It was so much deeper than the chill of running around in the middle of winter without a shirt on, this was an ice that went down to the bone. Even Craig’s warm arms couldn’t cut through the shivering. Teeth knocking together, Tweek pulled back and mumbled, “I’m c-cold.”

Abruptly, like Tweek’s words had yanked him out of whatever trance he’d been in, the Noirette looked down at him and swore loudly. “Your pack’s still down in the creek,” Craig told him, his face pinching together. “Fuck. I couldn’t pull you out with it, I’m sorry.” Helplessly almost, the boy knelt before him and attempted to speak only to hang his head and repeat. “I’m _sorry.”_

“No!” Tweek said fiercely, glaring at Craig. “You _s-saved_ me! D-don’t apologize!!” _Unless he wishes he hadn’t saved me…_ No, he wasn’t going to let his mind go down that path. Of course Craig cared, he knew that, and this proved it just that much more.

As if he’d read Tweek’s stray thoughts, Craig instantly said, “I’m not sorry for that.” There was such an intensity to Craig’s gaze that for a moment, Tweek’s breath caught, but then the shivering jittered him back into motion. “But it’s my fault that you fell.”

“N-no, I was p-panicking,” Tweek pushed out, shaking his head hard. “It’s n-not your f-fault.” As a particularly hard shiver pulsed through him, Tweek wrapped his arms around his body and clenched his teeth closed in an attempt to stop the infernal clicking. Reaching for Tweek, Craig’s eyes widened and he jerked back. Confused, Tweek turned with him, suddenly hit with a bolt of fear that the Noirette was going to leave him here.

But instead, he just found Craig scrambling over a fallen tree, headed for the other side of the creek where he’d left his pack. Drawing up his knees to his chin, Tweek watched as the boy grabbed for his pack and called back, “I don’t have that much extra clothes, but I brought some stuff.” Attempting to stand so he could follow Craig, Tweek found himself just falling back to the ground. His whole body shook, the tremors far too powerful to fight.

“B-but you got w-wet too,” Tweek called out, worry making his brows pinch together. “Jesus man, w-what if you freeze?!”

“I’ll dry off,” Craig said flatly, already headed back for Tweek. For a moment, the blond wanted to scream because Craig bobbled on the makeshift bridge, but then he was safely on the other side of the bank and he was kneeling back beside Tweek so he could pull the things out of his bag. It was significantly smaller than Tweek’s pack had been, but the Noirette had managed to cram a spare set of clothes in the bottom. For that, the blond was eternally grateful, even though he wished he had the willpower to insist that Craig keep them for himself.

“I c-could dry off too,” Tweek stubbornly insisted, even though Craig was already helping pull his sopping clothes off of him. Submitting to the boy’s hands, Tweek just let himself be stripped of the wet green button up he’d been wearing and watched as it was replaced with a tee shirt. Staring down at the familiar Red Racer logo, Tweek picked at the dry polyester and inhaled a smell that his jumbled brain somehow identified as being wholly Craig. It was comforting, and he wished he could sink into it.

“Yeah, well you won’t dry off as fast,” Craig reasoned out, his voice already returned to normal. Tweek could still see the fear and the guilt in the back of the Noirette’s eyes, and he knew that he had to get rid of it before it made things awkward, but for now, he just let the other boy pull his jeans off. Even though Craig’s clothing was far too big on him, it cut through the chill quickly, decreasing his shivering enough that he could move more easily. He was about to pull his arms back in and attempt to warm the bare skin there up too, when Craig pulled out the thin hoodie he’d also brought and put it on Tweek, zipping it up right to his chin.

“There,” the boy said, sounding at least marginally satisfied with himself. “Now you won’t freeze.”

“I w-wasn’t gonna freeze before,” Tweek pushed back, admittedly a little uncertainly. Because he was pretty sure he could have frozen, and he didn’t want to think about that. Looking around wishing that he still had his own things, the blond found himself fearfully crawling to the banks of the creek so he could see into the water. His pack, which was still there just as Craig had said, was caught on some rocks, and had water rushing over it, almost like it was part of the scenery.

“I should probably get that,” Craig muttered. Before Tweek could say anything, the Noirette jumped down the small riverbank and landed back in the water, not caring, or at least pretending not to care, about the cold liquid racing around him.

“Jesus, g-get out of there!” Tweek yelped, his fingers digging into the dirt as he twitched violently and stared down at his friend. “Ngh- You’ll drown!!”

“I’m fine,” Craig said firmly, hopping over to the pack and tugging it free of the current. Struggling under its weight slightly, no doubt because of the additional water now contained in it, Craig stumbled back towards the bank and managed to heave the soaked carrier onto the dirt and stone beside Tweek.

Watching nervously as Craig at last pulled himself up as well, Tweek waited until the boy was safe before he jumped to his feet and seized the Noirette in a stubborn hug. “D-don’t do stupid things for me,” Tweek insisted, his heart racing. After almost drowning, he couldn’t help his fear, he was pretty sure that it was natural even. “It’s enough that you -rrr- saved me.”

For a second, Craig froze, then he pulled Tweek in tightly and mumbled, “Okay.” Though it was only one word, Tweek knew how much was held in it. Craig had never been good at showing his emotions, but the blond was good at reading him, so it didn’t really matter any more. Because he could simply _feel_ the tension leak out of Craig, and hear the way the boy’s breath leveled out once more. Far from happy, but feeling much more secure, Tweek stepped back and was almost relieved to find Craig ruffling his wet hair.

There was a moment where they both managed to smile slightly, as Tweek at least grounded himself in the feeling of being there and being alive, then Craig frowned, and almost instantly the reality of their situation returned to the blond. _We’re still lost._ Though it made him shiver in fear, Tweek struggled to keep himself calm. “S-so what are we gonna do?” he asked, biting his tender lip and whimpering slightly at the pain.

Drawing them both back further from the riverbank, Craig was silent for a moment before saying, “I don’t know, it’s getting late.” How late, neither of them knew, but Tweek was almost scared to find out. Without a clock, he had no way of knowing how much time had passed. Had they been gone for only a little while? An hour? Five? Was it nighttime? Were the others even looking for them? He wished it was a stupid question, but the fact of the matter was, they hadn’t heard anything, and had no way of knowing if someone was looking or not.

“Ghn-” Stifling the involuntary sounds that wanted to escape from his mouth, Tweek twitched and tried to think of the right course of action. No one had ever told him what to do if he was lost, or if they had then he hadn’t been listening. Last time he’d been lost, he’d wandered around and only gotten more lost, so he wasn’t exactly the best person to ask. “It’s really dark out, w-what if we miss them?” Tweek asked nervously.

As though coming to an internal decision, Craig said, “You’re right, we should probably wait until tomorrow to look for them.” Allowing the Noirette to wrap a comforting arm around his shoulders, Tweek just listened as the boy continued, “You’re supposed to stay still if you’re lost, so we should just wait for them to find us or something.”

 _I guess that makes sense. But what if they just look in the other direction and they can’t find us? What if they get lost too? What if no one can find us and we never get out??_ He wanted to panic again, but Tweek knew what had happened the last time he’d freaked out, and he couldn’t let that happen again. So he just focused on the heavy feeling of Craig’s arm and tried not to think about getting hurt or dying at all.

Unfortunately, reality was a little too pressing to entirely ignore. “Jesus, d-does this mean we have to s-sleep out here?” Mind filling with images of terrifying monsters and terrifying animals that could kill him, Tweek squeaked, “Oh god, th-that’s too much pressure!!”

“It’ll be fine,” Craig reassured him instantly. “Like falling asleep on my roof.” Remembering that night clearly, a day close to the end of the school year, Tweek felt some of his shivers decrease. Of course logically he knew that it’d be nothing like that, but the Noirette’s voice was soothing, and Tweek wanted desperately to believe that they’d be okay.

Remembering  his pack, which was still sitting there where Craig had left it, Tweek let out a sharp sound before diving forward and hurriedly unzipping his pack. Dodging the deluge of water that flowed out, Tweek started pawing through what they had. Most of it was ruined, the food he’d had was waterlogged and disgusting, so he tossed it into the creek, hoping that any potential wild animals wouldn’t smell it and find them.

As he dug, he twitchily told Craig, “Rrr- I didn’t know what would happen, s-so I packed a tarp that I found in our backroom. It smells like coffee, but w-we can still use it like a tent or something.” Holding it up, watching as the water started to slide off of it, Tweek looked over at Craig, who had an odd expression on his face. “What?” Tweek squeaked in confusion.

Shaking his head, Craig muttered, “Nothing,” before stepping forward and taking the tarp from Tweek. “I guess we could use it. Probably better than nothing.” Looking at the rest of the things that were now spilled out over the ground, Craig bent down unexpectedly and when he popped back up, he was holding a familiar silver container.

Letting out a squeal, Tweek snatched it up and pawed the lid off. Because the container was airtight in the first place, the coffee inside was not only still warm, but completely untouched by the river water. Sucking it down greedily, Tweek shivered as the heat from the coffee ran through to his very toes. Eyes flicking back up to Craig, the blond managed a sheepish smile that had the taller boy dropping one corner of the tarp so he could ruffle Tweek’s hair.

“Everything else in there isn’t going to be much good,” Craig observed, somewhat regretfully as he stared down at the bag. Tweek shivered and looked at the extra clothing he’d packed, now nothing but soaked lumps. _Wait, one of them is the shirt that Craig got me! I can’t just leave it here! Maybe we should hang it up and let it dry._

“M-maybe we should just stay here,” Tweek suggested, looking around twitchily for some sort of shelter and finding nothing obvious. Craig, on the other hand, was already nodding, walking away from Tweek and back towards his pack. Lying out the tarp over the mossy carpet beneath a cluster of trees, where they’d be sort of sheltered by a cleft of rock, Craig dragged his stuff nearer and pulled out the blanket that Mr. Stevens had insisted they all bring one of.

“It’s not much,” Craig admitted, looking around with that thoughtful expression. “But I don’t think this shit’s going to get much better tonight.”

“If you s-say so,” Tweek mumbled, unable to quite dispel his worry. Distracting himself for the time being by grabbing for the wet clothes and lying them out on nearby rocks in the hopes that they’d dry, Tweek found Craig calmly shepherding him towards the tarp, clearly wanting him to stay as close as possible. “I c-can’t believe we got lost.”

“I don’t have a good sense of direction,” Craig admitted, tugging his chullo down. “I never have. I get lost a lot, actually…” Trailing off, he stared at his feet, obviously feeling guilty for the whole thing.

“It’s not your fault,” Tweek said firmly, clenching his fists and staring at Craig. Even though the dark had almost entirely taken over the mountain, Tweek could still see the boy’s face and he focused on it. “I w-was distracting you, and we were looking for Clyde and Bebe, so -rrr- it’s not just because of you!”

“We’re going to get out of this,” Craig assured the blond, looking up suddenly. In the light of the moon, which chose that moment to cut through the canopy above, Tweek could see the determined, and vibrant blue of Craig’s eyes, and it filled him with courage that he hadn’t had before. “We’ll find the others, and everything will be fine.”

Tipping his chin up stubbornly, Tweek nodded and said, “Y-yeah, we will.”

Relaxing slightly, just as Tweek had hoped he would, Craig sat down on the tarp and pulled Tweek down after him. Letting out a grunt of annoyance, the boy wiggled out of his own jeans and muttered, “They’ll just make me colder,” before throwing them over a nearby rock and tugging the blanket up over the both of them. Instantly huddling up against Craig, drawing on the boy’s fearlessness in an attempt to make the shadows seem less dense, Tweek found himself shivering once more as the realization of just how far away from everything they really were.

“I really don’t w-want to die,” Tweek mumbled, his fingers tightening in the front of Craig’s sweatshirt, which he’d managed to keep dry. “I mean -ghn- obviously I’m n-not dying now, but I almost did I think!” Insides crumbling under those thoughts, Tweek fought to breathe normally as Craig’s fingers dragged through his drying hair.

“What was it like,” Craig asked softly, the words rumbling and sedating.

Unable to put words to it, Tweek opened his mouth soundlessly, before squeaking, “It was like Outer Space. There w-wasn’t cold, or warm, or pain, or anything, it w-was just empty and -grrr- you can’t even feel your body, it’s just… weightlessness.”

“Was it scary?” Craig asked, his hand trailing down the nape of Tweek’s neck and tracing patterns in his back. Curling up closer to Craig, the blond thought back to the feelings that had been running through him and tried to articulate them.

“A l-little,” he recalled, his voice growing distant. “B-but then it wasn’t anymore.” _I saw you,_ he almost said, the words not coming out for some reason. Instead, he managed, “It was actually… c-comforting.” As the words died in the silence, Tweek shut his eyes tightly and whimpered, “Jesus, I wish I was home.”

Nudging him, Craig guestured upwards until Tweek twisted so he could follow the boy’s hand. “Look at the stars,” the Noirette said softly, drawing the boy’s attention to the twinkling lights above them. “We’re still in Colorado, right? So those are the same stars that are back at home. They never change, they’re always there.”

Suddenly, he was looking at Craig’s ceiling. Or maybe the sky above Token’s house, or even Craig’s house. Or maybe he was looking at the sky outside of Cartman’s house. All he knew was he wasn’t stuck on the mountain, and for a moment, he could almost believe he was home. The thought took away the misery that had been encroaching on his mind, and Tweek let out a soft breath of wonder.

“When you look up at them,” Craig continued, his finger tracing the familiar patterns. “Just imagine that we’re home, because it looks the same.”

“Can you list them?” Tweek asked, his voice faint to his own ears.

“Yeah dude,” Craig agreed, smiling slightly. And then he did, pointing out one constellation after another. Even though there were trees above them, they had a relatively good view of the sky, and it felt like Craig was listing out star patterns for forever. Falling into the boy’s voice, Tweek felt his own consciousness drifting, and even though they were outside on the side of a mountain, hopelessly lost and cold and alone, sleep just seemed to crash over him like a wave.

He didn’t fight it. Instead, he just tumbled with it and let his consciousness float away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was tired of fluff so BOOM ANGST FEAR MEEEEEEEE
> 
> hehehe.
> 
> Thanks to Cori the magnificent for poking me towards finishing this, they are wonderful in every single way~ Also, thank you to everyone who's been worried about me. I've had a rough last week, this is true, and I'm not saying that I'm all better, but I'll get there. So thank you for being patient with me.


	109. Upon a Summer's Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was heavily inspired by a beautiful piece of art done by [Sunflower-Creek](http://sunflower-creek.tumblr.com/). I found the piece back when I was writing chapter??? Like, nineteen, and I decided then and there that it would be the end of this story, so yeah, you're welcome.
> 
> I highly recommend you look at it because [this beautiful painting that brought tears to my eyes is worth it.](http://sunflower-creek.tumblr.com/post/168643685204)
> 
> Thank you to Cori, the most miraculous Elder gay in the world, for their awesome existence and beauty and kindness, because they're the reason that I keep getting shit done haha.
> 
> Enjoy.

Craig woke up how he always prefered to wake up; with warm light on his face and Tweek curled up in his arms. Mostly just the second one, actually, but he’d learned to associate both with good things. Granted, when he realized a moment later that they were still in the same goddamn forest on the same fucking mountain, his good mood was marred slightly, but those, he knew, were the breaks.

No one had found them during the night, as he had almost hoped they would. He didn’t usually waste much energy on hoping for anything, it didn’t tend to turn out well, but for Tweek’s sake, he’d had some vague hope that someone came looking. Logically, he knew that Bebe’s Parents were probably doing everything they could to find their missing charges, and Clyde wouldn’t rest until he knew that his friends were alright. Token would likely be a little bit more methodical, but he’d be looking too. They had people who cared, but that didn’t make them any less lost.

 _At least I have Tweek._ His first instinct was to tighten his arms around the blond, but he resisted, not wanting to wake the boy up just yet. The boy had been through enough for a year in just the last twelve hours. As those thoughts worked their fingers into Craig’s mind, the Noirette focused on Tweek’s stress-free face and reminded himself that the other boy was alive and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Craig could still remember clearly the absolute terror that had run through him when he’d seen Tweek go over the edge of the steep bank and land in the creek. If the blond hadn’t had his pack on, he probably would have been fine, but the combined weight had yanked him straight down to the riverbed, and no amount of struggling would have saved him. The moment he’d gone under, Craig’s whole body had just gone on autopilot, anything to save him from the fear that had filled him.

Because in that moment, he’d seen Tweek drowning, and all he’d been able to think was that if he hadn’t gotten them lost in the first place, then Tweek wouldn’t be dying. If he’d just handled his own emotions better, Tweek would still be okay. Had he just reached out and patted the boy’s head as usual, if he’d done things differently, then Tweek wouldn’t have fallen.

He’d jumped in at once to pull Tweek out, but for a moment, he’d thought that he wouldn’t be able to get there in time. Not without getting pulled into the current as well. All he’d been able to do was watch as Tweek Tweak, the most precious, and important person to him, drowned because of Craig’s mistakes.

Unable to stop himself, too caught up in that residual fear of something else happening to Tweek, Craig clenched his teeth and drew the boy closer, even though he knew it would wake him up. Just as he’d predicted, Tweek squirmed in his hold, but instead of actively trying to wake up, the boy just shivered and huddled closer. _He’s still cold. Fuck._ Craig firmly believed it was because the boy didn’t eat enough, and that thought only made him remember that the only sustenance they had was what he had left in his pack. _Ah fuck, we need to get out of here._

“ ‘s cold,” Tweek mumbled into Craig’s shirt, pawing him closer like Craig was somehow a blanket, or possibly a heater. Unwilling to deny the boy, and honestly entirely fine with the arrangement, Craig dragged Tweek into a protective embrace, tangling his bare legs with the blond’s chilled ones and tucking the blanket around them a little more firmly just to be sure. Though it was definitely morning, he didn’t particularly want to get up either.

“It’s not that cold,” he reassured Tweek, his sleep-worn voice coming out as a dry rumble. Okay, maybe it was a little cold, but they were sleeping outside so that was kind of expected. More than anything, he was trying to convince himself that Tweek was alright. After he’d pulled the boy out of the river, he’d been so fucking cold, it had been like touching ice. The mountain air coupled with the frigid stream had sucked the heat out of the blond in seconds, and Craig didn’t even want to think about what the results of that could have been.

“Well, you’re not c-cold,” Tweek agreed sleepily, shifting in Craig’s arms and using the Noirette as a pillow. For some reason, the action made Craig want to smile, and he couldn’t quite stifle the action completely. So instead he just dragged a hand through Tweek’s stiff, slightly bristly hair until he worked out the residue that had come from the river water drying in his mane. As it returned to its normal, fluffy form, Tweek shivered and made a soft, pleased sound.

“No _pe,”_ Craig hummed flatly, wondering if it was okay if they just stayed here. Doing something sounded difficult, or more accurately, it sounded like moving. After all of the movement that had happened yesterday, this was fine. For a second, the world was quiet, and his eyes drifted over the scene above them, taking it all in.

While he’d never really been one for seeing the _beauty all around him_ unless Outer Space was involved, Craig couldn’t help but marvel at how the world had changed overnight. Instead of the shadows looming threateningly and the rocks looking unforgiving, everything seemed to glow. Maybe that had something to do with the boy currently trying to stick his cold nose into the crook of Craig’s neck but he was pretty sure that he’d never seen something like this before. The playful way the river bubbled, the way the grass glistened with dew, the flecks of quartz in the rocks around them that sparkled in the sun, it was all so… beautiful.

But Tweek made it better, of that Craig was certain.

Grunting and puffing out a breath against Tweek’s cheek as the boy’s hair got in his eyes, Craig muttered, “I hope some of your clothing dried.” When the boy started against him, he carefully continued, “I don’t want you to be cold.” _You can wear my clothes all you want,_ was what he almost said, but his brain decided to kick into gear just in time to edit that last part out. _Yeah, let’s not be weird._

Of course, this was Tweek that Craig was talking about, nothing was that weird when it came to the blond boy.

“Ngh- I don’t wanna move,” Tweek mumbled, twitching and curling his fingers in Craig’s shirt. “Let’s just s-stay here.” _That sounds fucking wonderful._ But he knew that they couldn’t, and so it was with a certain amount of disappointment that Craig started attempting to struggle upright. Pulling Tweek with him, catching the blanket so it didn’t fall off of the boy, Craig stared around, stretching his back as he became aware of the kinks in it.

“We’ve got to move eventually,” Craig pointed out, however unconvincingly. Catching sight of the blond’s forgotten thermos, the Noirette disentangled an arm from Tweek and grabbed it, shaking it. Thankfully, there was still coffee in it. _And I’m pretty sure he never finished the other one either…_ “It’s not warm,” he muttered, handing it to the sleepy blond. “But if you want it-”

Instantly, Tweek’s hands shot out and he slipped down Craig’s chest in his haste to get his coffee. Struggling to sit up, finally settling in Craig’s lap, the boy fumbled with the lid and drained the container, not even pausing for breath. Snorting, Craig lifted a hand and ruffled Tweek’s hair, propping himself up against the rock face at their back so he could more easily focus on everything around them. He still had no idea where they were, but at least they were alive and in an okay position for the time being. Whatever happened, they’d make it out of here alive.

“H-how long did we sleep?” Tweek asked, honestly sounding miffed about the situation. “Jesus, I -rrr- don’t usually sleep that long.”

In Craig’s opinion, almost dying would tire anyone out, even Tweek. “You had a long day dude,” he explained calmly, leaving his hand in Tweek’s hair where it sort of belonged. At some point, they’d actually have to start moving. The idea was unpleasant, but so was the idea of staying on this mountain forever, so he’d have to pick his poison eventually. _And there’s no time like the present. That’s what Token says, anyway…_

So after carefully setting Tweek aside so that the blond could curl up against the rocks behind them, Craig looked around for the pants he’d left out to dry and after shaking the little flecks of dew off of them, he deemed them dry enough to wear. After dressing a little better, the boy looked around for his pack and riffled through it, pulling out one of the sandwiches he had packed. “Want some?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Tweek’s only response was to squeak and shake his head rapidly. Though he would have prefered it if the boy ate something, Craig wasn’t going to force it. Besides, he was starving, and he wasn’t about to pass up on the opportunity for food.

As he devoured the sandwich, Craig watched Tweek, whose eyes kept darting around like he needed to take it all in and commit it to memory. Catching Craig’s eyes, Tweek yelped, “Christ, I n-never thought that camping would be like this!!” Fussing with the lid of his now empty thermos, the boy continued, “I mean, I -ghn- know it’s not quite the same, b-but this is almost like camping, and I guess it’s n-not as bad as I thought it would be.”

Craig lifted an eyebrow. “We’re still lost.” He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to remind Tweek of that, he should probably just leave well enough alone, but he almost wanted to see what the boy’s reaction would be. _You’re such a great friend Craig Tucker, trying to make Tweek panic again after he almost fucking died. Real nice._

But Tweek didn’t scream or pull at his hair in worry. Fixing his eyes on Craig, the boy twitched slightly and said, “N-not really.”

That hadn’t been what Craig was expecting, not in the slightest. Furrowing his brows, he said, “No, I’m pretty sure we don’t know where we are.”

“Jesus, I d-didn’t mean _literally,”_ Tweek complained, fingers twitching on his thermos. “But remember what you s-said about the sky and stars and stuff last night??” Shivering, shuffling his feet against the tarp, the boy continued, “Well, isn’t this a little like -ngh- that?”

The gears in his mind turning as he tried to work out what Tweek was saying, Craig muttered, “It might be?”

Smiling slightly, Tweek glanced up at Craig and told him, “As l-long as you’re here, then I’m not lost. I don’t f-feel lost, because you’re home to me. Just like how the stars never change, you’re always safe.” Light expression vanishing, the boy snaked a hand up into his hair and tugged. “N-nevermind, that sounds really stupid.”

All Craig could do was stare at Tweek as that warm knot in his chest expanded to the point where it was almost painful to breath. _Home._ Fuck, no one had ever said something like that to him before. Said that being around him was like being home. Hell, Craig hardly knew what home was supposed to feel like, his own home was shit. The place he was safest and happiest was… Well, it was wherever Tweek was. _Oh. So that’s what it means._

“No, it’s not stupid,” Craig said, kneeling beside the the blond and running a hand through the boy’s hair so he could tip his head back. Under his hand, Tweek let out a squeak and twitched, but didn’t attempt to pull away. Staring at him, unable to quite keep the powerful emotions running through him at bay, the Noirette just leaned forward and rested his forehead against the shorter boy’s. _You’re where I feel alright, happy even. You’re the one who brightens my world, you’re the one who makes me care. You’re the one I can run to. You’re- You’re Tweek fucking Tweak, and that means a lot._

“You’re right, we’re not lost,” he said, managing to keep his voice flat. Opening his eyes, Craig found himself staring into spirally, vivid green, and he couldn’t even begin to escape from it. Except it was Tweek, and that made it alright. Everything was okay if it was Tweek. He didn’t have to feel like he was doing something wrong or was going to make everyone think he was weird. Because Tweek was not just different, he was the most important thing to Craig.

“I guess we never really were,” Tweek whispered back, his face stretching into a small, twitching smile. Unable to help himself, Craig found himself smiling as well, and then they were both laughing, and Craig wasn’t sure where his own soft chuckling was coming from because he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d made that sound, but Tweek’s squeaky giggles drew the expression from him easily. Nose brushing against Tweek’s, Craig caught the blond so his head wouldn’t hit the stone behind him before just pulling the boy into a hug.

“We’re going to get out of here,” Craig said fiercely, his words coming out weirdly as that feeling kept building up in the back of his throat. “We’ll climb the mountain to the very top and if we don’t find them, we’ll climb back down and then we’ll be alright.” Against him, Tweek nodded and Craig felt infinitely better.

Finally pulling back, Craig smiled as Tweek squirmed and stretched like a cat before stumbling around slightly and blinking rapidly. “W-we should probably clean up,” the blond said, the fog clearing from his eyes as he turned his face towards Craig. Nodding, Craig went about gathering their makeshift bedding and attempting to cram it into his pack. Eventually, Tweek told him to just leave the tarp because it probably wasn’t important. Craig wasn’t sure if he wanted to, but in the end, he decided that Tweek was right. They’d just finish scaling the mountain, and then they’d go back down. No taking the long way this time. He was loath to the idea of having to spend another day on this mountain after all.

As he helped Tweek stuff what bits of the blond’s clothing they were bringing, Craig reflected that it was a good think Mr. Stevens had told them all to bring a bag. Otherwise, they might have beens screwed. Seeing as Craig’s pants were definitely too big on the blond, Tweek decided to change into his now dry jeans. They were still a little damp around the edges, but they were good enough and it would be safer for Tweek to be wearing them.

Finishing packing up the last things they needed, Craig gave the area one last sweep over. He felt bad about just leaving Tweek’s pack there, but after what had happened before, he wasn’t about to let the boy carry a wet, safety hazard around on his back. So it was with a now slightly heavier bag on his back and a twitching, thermos carrying Tweek beside him that Craig began climbing the mountain once more. Because as Token said, there really wasn’t anywhere to go but up or down.

It was hard going, but it was a whole lot faster than it had been the day before. And honestly, Craig found himself in excellent spirits. Tweek and he chatted as they walked, their conversations jumping from one thing to another as Tweek’s attention drifted. One moment it would be about Red Racer, the next about Aliens, the next about Stripe, then onto Bebe, and on. In Craig’s opinion, the blond’s lack of concentration was adorable.

At some point the conversation veered into talking about Kenny, as it often did. Both he and Tweek had been making a concerted effort to be friends with the roguish sandy-blond, mostly by Tweek’s verbal insistence, but also by Craig’s latent feeling that Kenny needed someone that cared. That wasn’t to say he cared as much as he cared about, say, Tweek, but he didn’t hate Kenny. And he wasn’t indifferent either. The boy had been there for Craig when even Tweek wasn’t, and that meant something whether he entirely wanted it to or not.

Then the conversation traveled onto the rest of the summer and what they thought the next school year would be like. Tweek was a little apprehensive of the new principal, but Craig reassured the boy that whoever it was couldn’t possibly be worse than Principal Victoria. That seemed to be the best thing he could say to calm the boy down, because even Jimmy hadn’t been able to figure out who the new principal was going to be. But that was so far in the future in Craig’s mind that it hardly even mattered.

Fifth grade would be okay.

It was somewhere in the middle of an impassioned rant from Tweek about the existence of Santa Clause and how he was actually evil that they broke out of the tree line onto a plateau of the mountain. Pausing on the edge of the tree line, Tweek let out a screech and asked, “Jesus, d-did we go the wrong way?? Are we at the top of the mountain already? Is this the bottom?!”

Glancing around, Craig said, “Nah dude, but I think we’re almost there.” Glad to see some unobstructed sunlight, Craig stepped out into the field. There were flowers swaying around him, tall and whimsical. The picture of summer. Walking forward, Craig glanced up at the sun before turning around and beckoning Tweek forward. “Come on, we’ll get to the top soon.”

“Hey! W-wait up!” Barrling after Craig, Tweek let out a laugh as he blew past the Noirette and turned so he could stick his tongue out at the taller boy. Eyebrows twitching up, Craig’s eyes lit up with the fire of competition. _Oh it’s on._

Chasing after the boy, Craig chased Tweek through the flowers, finding a smile stretching his own face as he ran. Tweek’s face glowed with light when he turned to through a teasing look at Craig, and the taller boy felt lighter than he had in a long time as he followed his friend. Longer legs finally winning out, Craig tackled Tweek from behind, sending them both rolling through the tall, soft grass. As Tweek ended up on top, crouching on Craig’s stomach and giggling as the Noirette smiled, he mischievously said, “I th-think I won.”

“Oh really?” Quick as greased lightning, Craig freed himself from the backpack and flipped their positions, gently flattening Tweek in a patch of bright yellow and blue flowers. Still laughing, Tweek just lay back, grinning up at Craig. Almost smirking, Craig lowered his head closer to the blond’s ear and miss viciously whispered, “Who's winning now?”

“Cheater,” Tweek protested breathlessly. Unable to help himself, Craig picked the dandelion from Tweek’s hair and blew the little seeds into the boy’s face. Yelping, Tweek batted them away, but he was still grinning, and Craig couldn’t help but be overjoyed at that. With the sun glittering in the boy’s hair, and his green eyes lit up like lamps, Craig thought that he’d never be able to forget this moment.

For once, his brain let him seize on the idea and didn’t instantly try and scrub it from his head, and he focused on it. Because Tweek right now wasn’t just adorable, or cute, or amusing, or any of the other many words that Craig had come to associate with the boy. Right now he was beautiful, and it took Craig’s breath away.

Suddenly, Tweek’s hand shot up and he snatched Craig’s chullo off of his head. Before the Noirette knew what was happening, the boy was wiggling out from under him and darting away. “N-nevermind, I think I win!” he exclaimed.

“Oh come on-” Scoffing, Craig grabbed his pack before chasing after the blond once more. Even if the had gotten lost, Craig knew that he would never have traded this for anything. When he was around Tweek, even something like getting lost was fun.

Finally catching the blond as he started up the rocks once more, headed for the top of the mountain, Craig plucked his hat out of Tweek’s hands and raised and eyebrow at the boy as he wiggled sheepishly under his gaze. Snorting, Craig squashed his hat onto Tweek’s head, flattening the boy’s fluffy hair. “I guess you did win,” he said evenly, his eyes brighter than they’d been in years.

“So, are w-we gonna finish climbing this thing?” Tweek asked, twitching excitedly.

“Fuck yeah dude,” Craig answered. “Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *while smugly sipping milk from my very large mug* Yes they did almost kiss, what's it to you??
> 
> eyyy, one more chappy~


	110. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys...
> 
> The first part is done.
> 
> Holy shit.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did.

“How tall is this fucking mountain?” Craig muttered as he once again slipped down the rocks that Tweek had already scaled. Staring down at the Noirette’s messy hair, Tweek contemplated stretching a hand down once more before deciding against it.  _ What if I lose my balance and fall on top of him? That would be horrible!! _

“I d-don’t know,” Tweek squeaked, wiggling his butt in the air as he leaned over the edge and twitched. “It’s n-not that much further!”

“Good,” muttered Craig, finally getting his foot in a better cleft and hoisting himself up towards Tweek. Suddenly nose to nose with the taller boy, Tweek let out an involuntary sound of surprise as Craig said, with raised brows, “Because if I have to fucking climb any more of this shit, we’re going to just go back to the field and stay there.”

Giggling, Tweek scrambled back so Craig could join him. With a mildly overdramatic huff, the boy sprawled out on the ground and plopped his head in Tweek’s lap where he closed his eyes and kept that mildly irritated look on his face. As he picked out the bits of twig and forest litter that had gotten into Craig’s hair, Tweek thought back to the flowers, and the grin on the Noirette’s face. To be honest, he wouldn’t mind going back to that field, it had been pretty, and Craig had made it beautiful. If he had to pick a place on this mountain to go, he’d choose that field in a heartbeat.

It felt better now that they were no longer lost. Even though they still hadn’t found their friends, Tweek didn’t feel quite so alone and scared. Because  _ they _ knew exactly where they were going, and Craig made even the most shadowy forests feel safe.  _ I wonder if Craig thinks so too. _ He’d made it sound like he did, so Tweek was inclined to believe that he made the boy feel safe and happy as well.

You know, at least when he wasn’t drowning.

“S-so are you just gonna take a -ngh- nap or something?” Tweek asked, poking Craig’s nose.

Wrinkling his face ever so slightly, Craig’s face smoothed out and he said, “Ye _ p,” _ popping his ‘p’ as he did so. That made Tweek let out another laugh. He wasn’t sure where the boy had picked up that little habit, but he loved it. He loved most things about Craig.

“What about seeing th-the top?” Tweek asked, reaching up so he could pull Craig’s chullo down more firmly over his wild hair. Squinting against the sun, Tweek craned his neck in an attempt to see how close they were to that magical summit that would signal the end of their climb. “I thought we were gonna go all the w-way up.”

Craig puffed out a breath through his nose and muttered, “We’ll get to it eventually.” That sounded okay, so Tweek let the matter rest, just running his fingers through Craig’s hair. It wasn’t as soft as Stripe’s fur, but it was silky, and he enjoyed it, even more so because he didn’t see it often. Considering they lived in a place where it was cold more of the year than it was warm, it made sense that everyone wore hats, but Tweek privately thought that Craig should take his hat off more.

Humming under Tweek’s hands, Craig said, “Why do you pull your hair?”

Tweek blinked and jerked slightly, unsure where the question had come from.  _ Oh jesus, why does he want to know? Wait, why do I pull my hair?? I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT BEFORE OH GOD!!! _ “I DON’T KNOW!!!” Tweek yelped, his hands going, as always, to his hair. Realizing what he was doing, Tweek yanked them back with a screech and dug his fingers into the loose, rocky dirt beside him. It wasn’t anywhere near as helpful. “Ngh- I n-never even thought ab o u  _ t  i t~!” _ he whimpered, flinching and twitching as some of the rocks cut into his palms.

Cracking open one deep, impossibly blue eye, Craig reached a hand up and tugged at the stray locks of Tweek’s blond hair. That, plus the pain in his palms, brought Tweek back to reality. Shivering still, the boy focused on Craig’s face and took deep breaths that were more shaky gulps than anything and listened as the boy’s voice flowed over his ears. “It’s okay,” he told him in that calm, even tone. “I was just thinking about it because you playing with my hair feels nice.”

Without his consent, Tweek’s face grew uncomfortably hot. Slapping a palm over his face, the blond let out a scream as the scent of blood filled his nose.  _ Oh god, why does this always happen?? Kenny said it was normal BUT THIS ISN’T NORMAL!! _

Craig’s hand caught Tweek’s wrist and he pulled the boy’s fingers away from his red face slowly. With his other hand, the Noirette fumbled in the side pocket of the pack for the water bottle and dribbled a little on his finger so he could wipe the blood off of the blond’s face. Submitting the boy’s ministrations, Tweek just twitched in embarrassed silence as he wondered if these weird chemical reactions would ever stop. As he worked, Craig flatly asked, “Do you like it when I play with your hair?”

Face only growing hotter, Tweek let out a strangled sound and caught Craig’s gaze. Eyes widening ever so slightly, the Noirette turned slightly red himself and quickly reapplied himself to cleaning Tweek’s cheeks of blood. “Sorry, that sounded weird,” he mumbled, shaking his head slightly. “Forget I said anything.” Straightening, Craig got to his feet and frowned at Tweek’s scratched up hands before pulling the blond along behind him. “Come on, let’s get to the top of this mountain.”

Putting the matter out of his mind for the time being, even though Tweek was hardly going to forget Craig’s question, the boy stumbled after his friend. It was funny, even though Craig was faster than Tweek, the smaller boy was much better at climbing, and it was coming in handy when scaling the rocks. Breaking away from Craig, Tweek latched onto the next tumble of rocks and started heading upwards. He supposed there was probably a better path, but neither of them were inclined to go looking for one.

Hand over hand the blond climbed, his fingers digging into each available nook and cranny easily. Even the fresh scrapes on his hands didn’t stop him. Attacking each new bolder with a single-minded ferocity, the boy poured all of his excess energy into pulling himself higher. This particular patch of rocks was longer than the others, and Tweek realized a moment later that he wasn’t able to see anything above it. Just some small bushes and open blue sky.

Excitedly, the boy called, “W-we’re almost there!!” All but leaping the last few feet, Tweek crashed onto the final plateau and rolled, catching onto some of the flatter rocks around him so he didn’t roll off. Stumbling to his feet, Tweek slowly spun in a circle as he looked out over the wide expanse of open air. Below, he could see the fields of the Air Force Academy, the spires of the chapple slicing through the air, even though they looked like toothpicks. Breathlessly, the boy wandered forward, careful to keep the edge in view so he didn’t fall off or something horrible like that.

“Wow…” Turning quickly, Tweek found Craig slowly walking forward, his eyes scanning the view slowly, like he was trying to take it all in. Twitching excitedly and pulling Craig’s chullo over his head, the blond looked out at the scene once more, just letting himself be entranced by the beauty. “That’s… kind of cool,” Craig admitted, his expression softening.

“It is!” Tweek agreed, wiggling before darting forward. Going right out to the edge, till his shoes almost scraped empty air, the blond felt the initial fear of falling start to drain away as the open sky and breeze leached it from him. Spreading his arms out wide, feeling the wind threaten to steal Craig’s hat from him, Tweek closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“You look like you’re going to fly away,” Craig commented, his steady, familiar pace coming up behind Tweek. Without opening his eyes, the boy leaned his face into the open air and hummed. His twitches worked their way through him, but Tweek hardly paid attention. Instead, he just tried to catch ahold of the feeling that was rocketing around inside of him. It was something like the feeling he got around Craig, freeing, joyful, wondrous… But he couldn’t quite pin it down.

“Do you th-think I could?” Tweek asked softly, the words escaping him without his permission. Craig’s response was to snort, which made the blond feel a little sheepish.  _ God, of course I can’t fly, I’m a human, why would I be able to fly. People can’t just sprout wings. Wait, can they? _ No no, of course not, that was stupid. “Sorry, w-weird questi-”

“You might,” Craig cut in, his footsteps settling right behind the blond. Surprised, Tweek tipped his head back and stared up at Craig, who was watching him calmly. Eyes traveling over the blond’s face, the Noirette finally asked, “Do you want to?”

“Yes!!” Tweek exclaimed at once, before his brain caught up with him and it filled him with other emotions. “Well… Actually, n-no.” Looking back at the view, reaching his fingers out to their fullest potential as if he might catch the current, Tweek continued, “Rrr- It’d be nice, leaving the earth and stuff. B-because things are so horrible sometimes here, but I don’t think you’d be able t-to fly.”

“Why not?” Craig asked, the furrowing of his brows evident in the slight change of his vocal inflections. Suddenly feeling very self-conscious, Tweek twitched slightly and tried to order his thoughts properly.

“Y-you’re too solid,” he finally said, his eyes drifting as he stared at the clouds without seeing.  _ Cause he’s not crazy. _ But it was more than that, because Craig was an angel and most angels flew, right? So Tweek intrepidly continued, “You used to be able to fly, b-but you can’t right now. And all of your -ghn- gears are heavy, so that makes it ever harder.”

Letting his arms fall, the blond’s eyes trained on the ground as he thought about the matter more. Even though he hardly knew what he was supposed to say, the words just kept coming to his tongue so he let them flow. “I’m not as heavy, and -rrr- I’m so fucked up and I never know what’s r-real, so it’s easier for me to fly. But you know too much!! And it makes it hard to get off the ground.” Realizing that he wasn’t making much sense, Tweek should his head and let out a sound of frustration.

“Jesus, I s-sound crazy, but I think that you will be able to fly again someday.” Firmly, more sure of himself now, Tweek said, “You’re gonna go to space, and then you’ll  _ really _ be flying.”  _ But for now, reality is really heavy and you can’t go anywhere. _ “It’s okay,” he told Craig softly, his voice fading out again. “I won’t f-fly away until you can come with me.”

“Tweek-” Craig started, his voice strange and contorted, like it got sometimes. Spinning around sharply, the blond stared up at the Noirette and caught the inky blue of his eyes and the galaxy of inexpressible emotions that swirled within them. As his own chest swelled and his heartbeat echoed in his ears, Tweek took a step closer to Craig.  _ He’s not crazy like me, but sometimes, that’s a burden just as much as my problems are. But that’s okay, right? _

Softly, his twitching almost entirely gone, Tweek told Craig, “When you touch my hair or- Or pat my head and  _ whenever _ you touch me, you keep me from flying away forever. You keep me from getting lost Craig. You ground me.”

Mouth pressing into a line, Craig seized Tweek in a hug that the blond instantly returned. His heart was so loud, but Craig’s heart was louder, thrumming in Tweek’s ears like the beat of drums, and it made the blond’s insides do weird things again. Fiercely, his voice so fraught with emotion that it seemed to almost choke him, Craig murmured, “Tweek, I-”

Maybe if Tweek had been a little older and a little wiser, he would have known what Craig almost said. But as it was, he waited with bated breath for the boy to finish his sentence.

Clearing his throat, Craig muttered, “I really fucking care about you. A lot.”

Tightening his fingers in the back of Craig’s hoodie, Tweek whispered back, “I care about you too,” each word carrying as much emotion as he could possibly put there. The three words that he might have said slunk back into the shadows of his brain, but for a second, Tweek felt them so completely that it made him wonder if he was dying.

Then the moment was over and Craig pulled back. “I’m glad you’re here dude,” he said, taking his hat back so he could ruffle Tweek’s hair fondly. Leaning into those warm, steadying fingers, Tweek hummed.

“I know.” And that was all he needed to say.

For a second, they just stood there, comfortable, but then Craig shifted back and looked around. Remembering why they were there in the first place, Tweek let out a sound and quickly hurried back from the edge of the mountain. Flatly, obviously, Craig observed, “They’re not here.”

“S-so they went down the mountain??” Tweek asked, darting around until he found what looked like a well-worn path.

Joining him, Craig reached for the blond’s hand and peered downwards. “Yeah, I guess they did.” Glancing up and catching Craig’s raised brow, Tweek wiggled as the boy asked, “So, you ready to get off of this fucking thing?”

“Yes,” Tweek answered at once. Casting one last look at the edge and the afternoon sun, the blond announced, “I w-want coffee.”

“Then let’s get you coffee,” Craig said, a slight smile capturing his lips. Loving the sound of that, Tweek eagerly followed the Noirette as he started down the path. It had been way too long since he’d had fresh coffee, and he would have  _ killed _ to get his hands on a pot of it right now, but the thought of it at the bottom of the incline was enough to motivate him forward.

Unlike climbing up, climbing down was easier if significantly more terrifying. There was always this feel of falling and slipping, and Tweek had no problem with keeping a hand tightly clenched around the edge of Craig’s hoodie whenever possible. As they stumbled down the rocks, separating so they could each hop down, Tweek wondered if their friends were at the bottom or still looking. Oh well, either way, they’d find someone who could help them, and then they’d be okay. Even though Tweek didn’t have any real attachment to his house, he missed his bed, and he missed having food.

As they hit the field of flowers, both of them took their time in wandering through the patch. Tweek wished they could spend longer there, but already the light was fading and the blond didn’t want to end up wandering through the forest in the dark. Thankfully, Craig found what appeared to be a correct path and lead Tweek down once more, eventually ending up back under the trees once more.

They didn't talk as much as they had on the way up, but Tweek enjoyed the silence just as much as he loved conversation. Craig, as ever, was good at silence, filling it with his presence comfortably. If Tweek let his attention drift, he could almost hear the whirring of gears that was Craig’s mind, and possibly the rustling of wings that he could imagine belonged to the Noirette. Once the thought was there, it lodged in his head, and he liked it, so he didn’t try to push it out. 

While they walked, Tweek’s mind jumped over everything that had happened over the past months. It felt like several lifetimes since that day when Craig had first talked to him, pointed out the bruise on his cheek and asked him who hurt him. Every moment of his otherwise terrifying world had become something to look forward to. Even the pain that he’d struggled through didn’t seem like such a bad thing. If it wasn’t for Craig, he would never have learned anything, he never would have improved. He was a little better now, and he was so thankful for that, it almost hurt.

If he could go back, Tweek wondered if he would have done something different, but he sort of knew that he wouldn’t have. Life, he’d learned, was as inevitable as it was scary. You never knew what was going to happen next, and you couldn’t change a thing. But that was alright really, because to be honest, Tweek was starting to think that what was going to happen wasn’t always going to be pain. Yeah, there’d be pain on the way, but just like the beautiful view at the top of a mountain, it was worth it.

Besides, he had Craig with him. As he’d come to learn, that meant a whole lot. No, he didn’t have to rely on the Noirette for everything, though sometimes it was easier, but when he needed the boy, Craig was there. Tweek wasn’t sure that he was really good for much when it came to helping Craig, but he tried when he could, and he knew the boy’s eyes cleared when he stared at the blond. Besides, they were only ten, there was no way they’d be able to solve all their problems right now.

And that was okay. Because they’d eventually figure things out. Despite living in South Park, where things were always confusing and terrifying and horrible, Craig was Tweek’s little pocket of good. All the new friends that he’d made through the Noirette, it had recolored Tweek’s corner of the world to be something pretty to look at. Someday, maybe things would all become better. Maybe his parents would remember him, and the Underpants Gnomes would stop haunting him and the monsters would leave him alone. But if they didn’t, he’d still have Craig.

That was what mattered.

The sun continued to set, throwing them into shadow, but Tweek kept ahold of Craig’s hand and followed the path. At times, he was terrified that he was going to go sliding down the mountain, but by the same token, he figured that at least he’d get to the bottom that way. They were going to get out of this alive, the well worn footpath they were following proved that to Tweek better than anything. At the bottom, they’d find that little ranger station that they’d stopped in for a few seconds before ascending, and then everything would be okay.

There were no signs of their friends, but Tweek didn’t concern himself with that. They’d all be fine, all he needed to worry about was not falling over and pulling Craig with him. The Noirette caught him the few times he almost went over, and Tweek wiggled in embarrassment before straightening once more and continuing. All things considered, they’d faced scarier, this was just a forest, and they were just surrounded by some trees. Whatever else was out there was kept at bay by Craig’s presence. Tweek’s shining star in the dark.

He wondered if Craig really understood how true that statement was, but the blond was too content with the silence to break it. Someday he’d tell the boy. They had forever it seemed, and Tweek liked that because he didn’t have to panic about getting it all out  _ now. _ There was still time and they still had to grow up. In this little town in Colorado where Tweek had thought that his life was going to be one eternal stretch of misery that never changed, time had started moving again. His future wasn’t dismal, because Craig would be in it.

Content in that knowledged, Tweek let his mind drift elsewhere.

The stars were coming out by the time they finally reached the base of the mountain. Just as Tweek and Craig had assumed, the path turned into a paved affair that led to the little ranger’s cabin. At the sight of it, Tweek let out an audible sound of relief and Craig paused so he could pull the blond into a side hug.

Smushed against Craig’s side, Tweek listened to the boy’s voice rumble as he said, “We made it.”

“Of course w-we did,” Tweek answered, smiling in grateful exhaustion. It had been ages since he’d been this tired, but all this drama and fear really wiped him out. Leaning into the taller boy’s side, Tweek’s lungs depressed as Craig’s fingers carded through his hair lightly, sucking all of the remaining stress from his body.

Everything was going to be okay.

“Well,” Craig started at last. “Let’s get inside dude.”

Allowing Craig to pull him along, Tweek shivered as the door opened and hit them with a blast of air conditioning and artificial light. Squinting against it, Tweek held up a twitching hand and let out a strangled cry of surprise as he saw who was sitting on one of the chairs in the small area.

“TOKEN!!” Tweek yelped. Bursting forward, the blond stumbled into the black boy, who stood so he could catch Tweek. Hugging him, mostly because he was glad to see one of his friends in one piece, Tweek let out a cry of, “Ohmygod you’re not d-dead!”

“Hey Toke,” Craig greeted, much more sedate than Tweek. To the blond’s trained ears however, the relief and happiness at seeing his friend was evident. Slinging the bag off of his back, the Noirette said, “It’s been a while.”

“It’s good to see you two.” As Craig pulled Tweek off of him, Token raised his eyebrows and commented, “I told them you’d end up here.”

“Only up or down,” Craig muttered, pulling Tweek over to the seats. Considering the fact that there were only two and one of them was Token’s, Craig solved this problem by planting Tweek half in his lap, half squished into the chair as well. “I mean, we figured it out eventually.”

“I’m glad,” Token said, before looking over at the desk at the ranger who was watching them. “You can contact the others. This is them, Tweek and Craig are fine.”

At those words, setting it in stone the fact that they’d made it out alive, Tweek just sort of melted against Craig and fell into the sensation of the boy’s fingers digging themselves into his hair. “So what’s been going on?” Craig asked passively as he dragged the snarls out of Tweek’s mane.

“Well, after the two of you got lost, we climbed to the top of the mountain to see if you’d show up, but when that didn’t work, Mr. Stevens suggested we just camp out. Because naturally, he’d brought enough to camp with.” Token’s voice sort of faded in and out, but Tweek struggled to keep his eyes open regardless. “After that, we came down here at the crack of dawn and everyone but me went up to look for you two with another couple of rangers.”

“Well, we’re here now.” Nodding along with the Noirette’s words, Tweek curled his fingers in Craig’s hoodie and fitted his head more snugly against the boy’s collarbone. Almost at once, his eyes closed and he started to drift off once more.

“Obviously.”

Coming out of his state of half-sleep when Craig poked him, Tweek glanced up at the boy and found him watching him calmly. “You good?”

“Y-yeah,” Tweek mumbled, before settling back down. Letting out a long breath, he mumbled, “C-can we just not do anything crazy until next year?”

Craig snorted. “Yeah dude. I’m tired of crazy stuff too.”

Content, Tweek fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done.
> 
> Well...
> 
> Yes, this is over, but no, the story is not done. If you guys so desire, I'll put the next part in a separate story and make it the sequel, or I'll just continue it here. Regardless, I'm going to be getting the whole printed copy thing off the ground as we speak. I'm working with the artists and editing the whole story with the help of DankChicken, my beautiful editor, but it's in progress.
> 
> For now, I'm going to focus my energy on getting this all shipshape. There's going to be one more chapter after this that's going to mostly just be adknowldegements and such~ So you should read that too ;)
> 
> Thank you guys so much for sticking with me through this. I love every single one of you so fucking much.
> 
> Oh god, I'm gonna cry.
> 
> Um um um WORDS
> 
> *vanishes in a puff of smoke*
> 
> _TO BE CONTINUED~~_


	111. Acknowledgements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, to everyone who has read this story, thank you.

Before I say anything else, GUESS WHAT COMMUNICATIONALLY CHALLENGED IS OUT!! It’s the sequel to this story, so if you enjoyed this insane crazmazing journey, I hope you’ll continue on to the next one!

This project, while solely written by me, is by no means something I could have done without help. There are a lot of people who I need to properly thank, by name or by username, because they have helped me, drawn art for me, or otherwise inspired me to write this story. Though a little thing here isn’t exactly the most satisfactory of thank yous, I’m going to do it anyway because guess what, they deserve it.

First off, I would like to thank ErrorUnknownUser for years ago, however unintentionally, inspiring me to write this story. Your work, my darling, is and will continue to be my favorite South Park fanfiction of all time.

Thank you to Mama T for lending me your ear, your time, and your heart when I needed it the most. You helped keep me from drowning when I thought that I was going to go down, and you moved me with your own writing more times than I can count. Thank you for being our Token, and thank you for being my friend. It’s been an honor to get to know you.

Thank you to Angel for helping me shape Kenny’s character when I was most unsure of how to handle him. Your words, your inspiration, and your faithful dedication to helping me become a better person is nothing short of beautiful. Thank you for not only narrating Tweek for us, but giving Kenny a voice he would never have found without you. You are a light in a sometimes dark world.

Thank you to Emma, my smart and funny girl, for the miraculous amount of responsibilities you took on when I needed you to, and the life you’ve brought to my world. Your calm, practical advice is almost unparallelled, and your stubborn, unflinching pursuit of a better future is admirable. I am blessed to have you as our Heidi, and I’m thankful to have you as a friend. You are loved.

Thank you to Cori, the Elder Gay whose feet are on the ground but who’s head is among the stars. Since meeting you, you’ve been a positive driving force behind this story and it’s completion. Without you, I probably wouldn’t still be here today. Thank you for voicing Craig impeccably, and helping me up when I couldn’t help myself. Your name is written on the stars of my heart.

Thank you to Ty, my panicked gay sister who has brought life and color to my world since you first opened your mouth. Between your beautiful heart and beautiful mind, you could change the world and have certainly changed mine. Thank you for voicing not one but three people in Kyle’s narrator, Chris Donnelly, and Damien Thorn, and thank you for pulling me close when I needed it most. Someday, I’m going to meet you and give you the biggest fucking hug of your life.

Thank you to Sin, the other side of my coin that tumbled into my life and helped me understand myself in ways that I didn’t think were possible. You listened to me when I needed it, and you gave me the privilege of your trust, which meant everything to me. From your art to your writing, you’ve inspired me and dragged my sorry ass through more than one dense fog of fear. Thank you for your beautiful art and even more precious friendship. I’d hug you, but I wouldn’t want to ruin your image (^-~)

Thank you to Harmony, the glorious human who tumbled into our lives and still puts up with us, despite everything. Your excitement and encouragement has propelled me through this story, and the fact that you exist at all makes my life that much brighter. With your RP skills and your unflagging kindness, I would be hard pressed to find a better human. Thank you for narrating for our Bebe, and voicing Ike the darling Canadian, and thank you for helping me become a better person. You are worth more than you could ever imagine.

Thank you to Wren, the beautiful woman with a thousand talents and a Madre bird to all who screamed her way into our hearts. The way you volunteered to help so much with this audiobook and the way you’ve helped the family so much is beautiful and admirable. Whenever I write for Tweek, I hear your voice in my head, and honestly it’s a comfort and a well of fierce resolution to call on when I need it. Thank you for slowly destroying your vocal chords for the sake of voicing Tweek, and thank you for giving me a second chance when I didn’t necessarily deserve it. Your light will never go out, no matter how much coffee we pour on you.

Thank you to Paige, the angelic human who continues to brighten our lives. You were one of the first people to audition and therefore have been there since the beginning. I’ll never forget your enthusiasm, and the way you cheer the rest of us up is beyond wonderful. Thank you for giving us the voice for Butters, and thank you never letting us go. You will always make me smile.

Thank you to Payton, the pinchiest ginger of them all who has always thrown their all into every interaction that we have. Between creamy things and screaming bullshit till your lungs give out, you never failed to bring a smile to all of us, me especially. Your help and your excitement over this story has inspired countless ideas that I can only smile about now, but will soon become apparent to everyone else as well. Thank you for giving up the unforgettable voice of Kyle, and thank you for stopping to pick me up when I was at my lowest. The wisdom you hold is beyond your years.

Thank you to Miranda, the soothing voice that shows up whenever we’re losing our shit. Since meeting you, my life has been infinitely better, and talking about Creek with you is hours of entertainment. Your willingness to open your home to me and you calm attitude that could settle even the worst nerves has brought me into a world with so much more color and life than I ever thought possible. Thank you for voicing Stan, and thank you for displaying patience in every interaction we have. With or without the mop, I’ll always look up to you~

Thank you to Nico, the most beautiful and fierce soul I’ve ever met. From your head to your toes, you exude a confidence that I can only long for, and from the moment I heard your voice, I knew that I’d adore you. Every time you show up, you brighten my life, and by doing so, you pushed me through this monster of a story when everything else was kind of crap. Thank you for voicing Clyde, and thank you for teaching me how to be unashamedly myself, no matter who wanted to judge me for it. No one can crush your flame.

Thank you to Holly, lurker forever and narrator extrordinair. From the moment you stepped into our lives, you could see how much brighter things got. Even though you weren’t always front and center, I love seeing you around, and that will never change. Thank you for giving Craig a beautiful Narrator, and thank you for treating me with kindness even when I failed to do the same to you. Invisible though you may feel, we will always notice you.

Thank you to Linney, the blessed girl who showed me that even those things that we can not see can be a comfort. You have given so many of us life in your time here, and your stories have inspired me since I started reading them. The way you’ve given Ty something to hold onto gives me so much hope for myself and for the rest of us. Thank you lending us your beautiful voice to bring Bebe to life, and thank you for never giving up on me, no matter what I did. Though sometimes you feel heavy, you are the girl who taught me to fly.

Thank you to Jackie, collector of big brothers and perfect example of familial loyalty. No matter who it is or what’s going on, you’ll stick up for those you care about and I’m so happy and lucky to be one of those people who you’d do that for. Though I’m still getting to know you, your portrayal of Ruby has inspired me beyond belief. Thank you for voicing Ruby, and thank you for bringing a unique perspective to my life that I could never begin to replace. There is nothing in heaven or on earth that could bring your spirit to its knees.

Thank you to Claudi, our Mr. Pwesident with a basket of hands and a boatload of trashy memes. With a voice of liquid honey and a whip-sharp sense of humor that always cracks me up, your light is beautiful and inspiring. You’ve brought Jackie too us, and you even were willing to bring yourself, never letting any of us forget that there is still a bright side to the world. Thank you for narrating for Butters, and thank you for being the best meme in the whole world. Your strength will never be curtailed.

Thank you to Dad, a crab one day and the best father I could ever ask for the next. You’ve brought out in us RP abilities that we never knew we had. Your musical writing has shown me things that I never thought I’d be able to find in words, and your calm, patient approach to everything can tamp down even a full scale panic attack of mine. Thank you for narrating for Stan and voicing Firkle, and thank you for never giving up on me, no matter how much easier it would have been to do so. I promise, I will always use protection.

Thank you to Gigi, the soul who never gave up on me no matter what. I know that we haven’t always been kind to you, and I know that sometimes things are hard, but I’m blessed to have gotten to know you, and I live for our conversations. You are loved.

Thank you to Ethan, who has put up with me through thick and thin, and who helped me think for myself when it would have been easier to throw my hands in the air. Your inspiration has brought so much good to this story, but it’s brought even more wonder to my life. I wouldn’t know what to do without you.

Thank you to Henry, your advice and your kindness is unlike any others. I wish I had half of your wisdom and a quarter of your joy. I feel like I could come to you about anything, and your unending love is something that I often sorely need.

Thank you to MIA- Archer for every single beautiful piece of artwork you’ve bestowed upon me. From the videos to the drawings to the conversations, everything about you is beyond wonderful and I’d hug you if only I could reach that far. Thank you so much, there is no one like you.

Thank you to SocksGhost. Your art, every single piece, has been nothing short of magical. Every drawing I see from you makes me smile, and the fact that you took an interest in my story brought me to life. Thank you for everything, and thank you for letting me get to know you, even if it was only in a small way.

Thank you to Apple-miner, I fucking love your style and the light and depth you give these characters. I was blown away that someone like you would take an interest in my story, and I’m beyond honored that you’d do so much fantastic art for it. I hope to continue to see you around for a long time to come.

Thank you to Phoenix for the enthusiasm and the kindness that I’m greeted with every day. I never thought I’d find someone like you, but then, I didn’t know I needed someone like you. Your joy is inspirational, your rage is inspirational, heck, everything that you do is inspirational THANK YOU FOR BEING ALIVE!!!

Thank you to Mysterion for always giving me a laugh whenever I show up. You’re a fucking awesome person dude, and I hope that your 100% turbo-charged gay heart is never crushed. Thank you for your silly head canons and your serious conversations. I adore you so so so much.

Thank you to WonderTwink for your staunch opinions and your bitter lesbian rage. Your headcanons were amazing and you made me scrutinize my own writing at times, which helped overall. Never let anyone shut you up!

Thank you to the Doctor for letting me bounce ideas off of you all the time. You are an amazing brother, and I hope you go great places. You were always a light to me, and whether you were shipping or shitposting or supporting me, you were special. I will never forget you.

Thank you to Amy for your puns and your kindness. The way that you welcomed me into the discord was amazing, and I wish that I could be half as wonderful as you. I will forever ship you and Gigi, no matter how silly it might seem. You’re awesome dude.

Thank you to Jinclair, an old commenter who used to be around every single chapter. I loved your comments and your enthusiasm, and I wish that I could talk to you again. I hope that you’re doing well, and I want to say that your comments were always a highlight of my day.

Thank you to Mbmer for your long, in-depth comments as well, because trust me, you caught more than most. I loved seeing how much you’d noticed, and I loved the fact that you were willing to hypothesize with me for such long periods of time. It made me so fucking happy.

Thank you to Anon, for defending me in the comments at times, and always leaving positive warmth in your words for me to find. Everything you say makes me smile, and I love that you’re still around. I hope that I can continue to see you until this whole story is finished.

Thank you to SunnyStriker20 for being the first person to comment on this story, before anyone knew that it would go so far. Your initial support lifted my spirits more than any other comment, because I believed that no one would read this story, and you proved me to be wrong. Thank you so fucking much.

Thank you to valzilla, Hogar, SunnyStriker20, Karkitty, and Sir_Weston for being the first five to leave Kudos on this story. Those meant a lot to me, even though you’re sort of buried at this point. I love all of you, and I’ll never forget any of you.

To everyone who left kudos, thank you for your support. This story is now the most popular South Park story thanks to you.

Thank you to all the people who read this and traveled through this crazy journey with me. Whether you spoke or stayed silent, you are adored and treasured. I couldn’t have done this without you.

Thank you to everyone on the discord, you are all adored, no matter how much or how little I’ve talked to you. You are beautiful, never let anyone tell you otherwise.

Now, I’m going to take a moment to answer the comments left in the bookmarks on this story. Because some of them made me laugh more than the comments.

BottomBunnyBoy:  
Last read chapter 66  
_Que: I hope you finish it someday!! It’d be fun to see you make it to the end~_

Nico_is_not_real:  
Sick as story, read it  
_Que: Thank you so much my dude!!! I’m glad you think that it’s worth a read. For the record, I think you’re very real ;)_

LunaNora:  
Note for self: Thank Ana for literally saving your life by introducing you to this ship. Gosh, there so much fluff, my sweet tiny children with a soft friendship/start of a relationship!  
_Que: Note to LunaNora: Thank Ana for me because you’re a beautiful human and I’m glad that you are my reader. I’m so happy that this ship saved your life and I’m honored to think I could play some part in this journey for you. There will always be more fluff, and I promise that they’ll eventually get together for real!! It’ll just take a while ;;^^_

IzzyQuagmire7090:  
Bookmark Tags: THE BEST, SO SO GOOD, Great lines, great everything, read it now  
_Que: I’m glad the lines and the everything made you so happy!! I hope that everything right up till the ending pleased you~_

thegardenrose:  
bless the author  
_Que: No no, bless you. You are the one who took the time to read this and give it love. Thank you for that, so so much._

s0ng_0f_st0rms:  
GOOD SHIT  
_Que: WELL THANK YOU GOOD HUMAN YOU ARE VERY KIND._

Yijasha:  
Holy fucking crap.  
_Que: Daddy, you’re embarrassing me~ *wiggles and hugs* thank you so much though~~_

maadej:  
aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
_Que: *is blown back by the love* Oh my, well, I’m glad that you enjoyed it so much!!_

grimborks:  
GOOD™  
_Que: *turns bright red* No, you’re good!!! Thank you so much for reading, your presence is a blessing!_

uncommon_motive:  
This is really cute  
_Que: Despite all the angst?? Hehe, I’m glad you enjoyed it darling, that means a lot to me! :)_

Selienne:  
This one's just a beatiful gem that you desperately need in your life, trust me. :D Nothing can beat all the fluff and angst that is in there. <3  
_Que: The fact that you’d read this story at all darling makes me so fucking happy. I remember you from back when it was just Shizaya, and then you showed up here too. I’m glad that it made you happy, and I hope that you liked it right up through the end!_

ojhinata:  
The best creek fic ever u know the one  
_Que: I’m delighted that it met your standards! I worked hard at this, and I’m so happy that it made you smile because that makes me so happy._

Shiny_Umbreon:  
adoro tweek e craig  
_Que: THEY ARE, AREN’T THEY!?! AHHHHHH!!! I love these soft bois._

Newspaper:  
I've only heard good things so I've got to read this  
_Que: I hope you got around to it some time or other. I adore new readers, they make me smile, knowing that even though I’m not the newest of the new, I still can bring in people to this crazy project._

PeriOfTheDot:  
HDHGSHFV  
_Que: I ENTIRELY AGREE!_

redarrrr:  
Uauauwaa  
_Que: *ruffles your hair* Pfft, you’re adorable Stripe, I love you. I’m really glad that you’re loving this so much~_

ProdigyBlood:  
This story though <3  
_Que: This human though <3 Thank you for all of the comments and the wonderfully kind words. I adore you so fucking much._

FlyingVioletBunny:  
This is truly a masterpiece!!

But Arg!! Im suffering with this two, just kiss already >:"v  
_Que: don’t worry, they’ll kiss awfully soon, but I’d be careful what you wish for. Sometimes, what you think you want is not actually what your characters need ;)_

personakitty135:  
THE ABSOLUTE BEST. HOLY FUCK IT TAKES A WHILE TO READ BUT IT'S ALL WORTH IT. I'M CRYING, ACTUAL TEAR JESUS CHRIST  
_Que: *hands you several tissues* I’m sorry for making you cry, but I’m delighted that you enjoyed it!! I’m so happy that you thought it was worth the read, I know it’s long, but every word has love poured into it, so I hope you can feel that in this story._

There are people I’m probably missing in these acknowledgements, but know that if you were around for this, then I’m talking to you when I say that you are the reason that this story exists. Whether past, present, or future, it’s because of people like you that I was able to pull myself out of constant panic attacks and into a world of people who cared about me and supported me. Thank you so much, I love you for everything that you’ve done.

And so, if you’ve gotten to the end, I want to say that the printing of this book will likely be finished at the end of the summer. I’m going to push for it, and the artists are going to be working towards it, so look out for updates in the Author’s notes of the sequel. If you want a bound copy of this book, buying a copy would not only help me, but help the artists who are doing art for the story. 

Thank you for everything.

See you in the next story ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things are crazy, but I suppose we can all take a little time out of our days to deal with Ao3 yelling at us for community guideline breaches. I hope whoever reported me is doing alright, they're probably having a worse day than I am, because it takes a very bad day to be a rather mean, if by the books, person. 
> 
> If you hear this, I'm sending positive vibes your way darling~

**Author's Note:**

> If I've screwed something up, tell me!! Also, if it isn't too much trouble, I love to hear what you enjoyed, I like it when you talk to me, darlings. It makes me feel a little more human and a little less dead.
> 
> The amount of support this story has been getting makes me dizzy. All of the comments and the art and just the friends I'm making because of it has been the only thing that's keeping me from losing my mind these days. I know it sounds dark, but hey, one chapter a day, I'm getting better, and I hope that I'm spreading smiles as I do so.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Even Rocks Can Shatter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13101114) by [AussieDollVA](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AussieDollVA/pseuds/AussieDollVA)
  * [Of Overactive Minds and Toxic Thoughts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13344951) by [blue_noize](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_noize/pseuds/blue_noize)




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